Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“We love ya Las Vegas! Thank you for a wonderful show!” Yelled the singer with a large smile on his face and his arm reaching to pull the guitarist towards him. The guitarist with an equal amount of joy simply smiled back at the older man and playfully pushed him off after the crowd gave yet another wave of screams and claps. It was a good show for the band tonight, they had really put their all, and as always the backstage regimen consisted of laughter and resting.

Performing was in each of their bloods but Steven always felt so strongly about such things. Unlike other singers and musical artists Steven enjoyed his fame, of course music always came first but he enjoyed being known, being admired, loved, and just being an entertainer. The singer had been doing this with the rest of the band since the 70’s, he had seen everything in show business and was still rocking hard. 5 decades later and he still felt young and vibrant.

I’ve seen the world, done it all
Had my cake now
Diamonds, brilliant, in Bel-Air now

Joe and Steven had gotten together around the year 1992 but had known that something was going on between each other since the moment they met. The news of them being together have always been a secret, they weren’t sure how it would affect the band and their careers, so only family and a couple friends knew that they were an official couple. After almost an hour of just chilling backstage the boys headed home. Joe insisted on driving and honestly Steven had no energy to argue against it. It was these sort of moments when he realized just how age affected him. Sure, he had tons of energy but a concert was draining and somehow tonight he was just fully drained.

His birthday was approaching, a day that only reminded him that he was one year older, one more year to worry about wrinkles, looking good, staying in shape, and trying his best to keep his voice unchanged. Most importantly though trying to keep his biggest fear not get in his way. Every year he got older the fear increased, would Joe stop loving him?

Chapter Text

Hot summer nights, mid July
When you and I were forever wild

They had met when they were young adults, somewhere around the 60’s he must’ve been just turning 20 making Joe 18. Joe was a nerd, well he looked like one, and somehow Steven found that cute but that wasn’t the only thing that attracted him to the boy. He had heard him play guitar and something had clicked inside him. Aerosmith was in the making but Joe and him were already becoming very close friends. If he really thought about it he could still remember the first moment he ever knew that he wanted to be with the young guitarist.

The crazy days, city lights
The way you’d play with me like a child

The sun was shinning, it was hot as hell for Boston, and the lake just seemed so nice. They were supposed to be out buying records but the walk there took too long and instead they headed to that shiny lake. Joe was eager to throw himself from the branch that hung above the water but Steven had gotten a better idea. The other was half way through climbing the tree when he spoke, “yo, Joe, we should throw ourselves from that cliff.” It was a stupid idea but at the time it seemed like such a thrilling one.

Looking at the cliff Steven pointed at Joe simply stayed quiet and thought about it. “Don’t tell me you’re scared,” Steven teased soon beginning to make chicken noises. “Shut up, I bet you ten dollars you won’t actually throw yourself.” Joe then said jumping from the tree to the ground. “Bet, I also bet you ten dollars you can’t beat me up there.” And with that both boys were off towards the cliff. Laughing as each of them tried to slow the other down, pulling at their shirts, throwing sticks and pebbles at each other, or pulling each other’s hair. The area was pretty lonesome most of the time so their childish screams weren’t heard by anyone. Joe ended up winning the first bet but he would be able to get back his money if he only threw himself.

Taking off his clothes and leaving nothing but his white underwear on, which surprisingly matched Joe’s, he stared at the lake below and felt his stomach drop. From behind he heard the younger boy begin to tease as he had done earlier, making chicken noises and silly faces. “I guess I’ll be getting 20 dollars, aren’t I Stev—“ before the boy could finish his sentence though Steven was already off and jumping. A single word was heard quickly sounding further and further away, “fuck!” Until a loud splash announced he had hit the water.

There was no turning back now, Joe couldn’t just not jump. Looking down he took a deep breath and walked back. “Fuck yeah!” He yelled out as he ran and jumped.

That jump had given both boys such a rush and a sort of child like happiness. For the rest of the day they spent their time swimming, jumping from the tree, splashing each other, and exploring the lake. Once it began to get late though they recalled they had left their clothes on the cliff and if it got dark it would be impossible to find it. Rushing up the cliff once more, all wet and sandy, they managed to get dressed just before it got dark.

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It’s a miracle they made it to Steven’s place that day, the only light was the occasional car lights or street lights left throughout the country side. “Ma, Joe is gonna stay here for the night, hope ya don’t mind.” Steven yelled out as he walked through the front door. A tired blonde woman came out of the kicthen to greet them, kissing both Steven and Joe on the cheek, “Joe does your mamma know you’re staying over?” Like a respectful young boy would Joe answered in a quiet and polite voice, “no ma’am I was wondering if I could use your phone to call her.” “Anytime, darling, you boys don’t stay up too late. Steven you’re still mowing the lawn tomorrow whether Joe is here or not.” Rolling his eyes playfully the older boy nodded while the other held back a chuckle.

From his room Steven could hear Joe talking on the phone, “yes mom, yes I’m fine, thank you. Goodnight, I love you too...”. It was weird how men could turn into little boys so quickly when in some sort of presence of their mothers. Closing his eyes Steven laid on the twin sized bed, obviously too small for both of them to fit in, and waited. Walking through the door Joe immediately jumped on the other man and laughed as Steven pushed him off. A loud thump alerted his mother, “boys be quiet some of us are trying to sleep! Don’t break a hole in my floor!” Once more laughter filled Steven’s room, Steven soon joining Joe on the floor, they simply lay there laughing. It was odd how well they got along, they liked the same music, they loved to play, and were on their way to stardom together.

“So how we gonna do this? You get the bed I get the floor?” “Joe, let’s be civil I can’t let you have the floor. We are both skinny people I bet we can fit on the bed.” Steven was sure Joe had been hesitant to sleep with him by the silence he received as a response which is why he had tried to take it back as fast as he could. “Or I mean not, it doesn’t matter, sorr—“ “no, no, it’s fine. I don’t care just don’t hog all the blanket.”

Steven had lend Joe some of his own sleep shorts so the boy wouldn’t have to sleep in his clothes and soon they were ready to sleep. Together on the bed they said their goodnights and closed their eyes. Joe had fallen asleep easily but Steven had a bit of trouble. Opening an eye he peaked to see if his friend was truly asleep. When he was sure he sighed and sat up slowly. His heart beat at crazy speeds, his thoughts raced, and his nerves jumped all over the place for reasons he wished he hadn’t known. Looking at the younger one sleep, seeing how his chest moved up and down with every breath, how he looked so peaceful now that he was asleep sent him over the moon.

Steven had known he was bisexual at a very young age, he had fancied a boy who looked rather feminine with blonde locks when he was in elementary and since then he had known. But to think that he was getting feelings for Joe was frightening and heartbreaking, Joe was straight, he was sure of it and most importantly he was his best friend. Pushing away a lock of black hair from the others face he laid back down and stared. He could honestly stare at the other for hours and still find something to fascinate over. But soon his art work turned around which made Steven look at the clock and realize he should probably get some sleep. How could he sleep when his feelings were all over the place?

What he had in mind was risky and he knew it but he couldn’t help himself. Coming up behind Joe he let his body press against his and his arm embrace him. Pulling him closer he closed his eyes and relaxed. The smell of the lake strong in Joe’s black hair so close now only tempted Steven to do more. Quickly kissing the others neck he was finally satisfied. There they laid now, both close together, Steven embracing the younger boy and the younger boy showing no signs of distress or discomfort.

A kiss to the cheek and a soft whisper was the last thing Steven recalled before going to sleep. A quiet, “I love you” and he was gone. He never did get to know if Joe heard him, he never bothered to ask after all those years. In fact Steven found it silly to think about, love had driven him to do many silly things in his lifetime.

Chapter Text

“Steven, babe, we’re here. Wake up” A soft voice called out to him. Eyes fluttered opened and saw him, a soft smile crept to Steven’s lips as he slowly stood up from his seat. Joe was always a romantic, the singer was always jealous of how he was so sincerely in love with his girlfriends before they got together. The man was a perfect lover, he was the type of lover that gave you little gifts because they reminded him of you, cooked for you, talked out problems, and actually wanted to spend time with you. But there was one downside, he wasn’t too physical at times, physical love such as hugs or kisses at random were mostly done by Steven but still Joe was perfect no matter what. A few muffled words to complain about how his body ached escaped the singer’s mouth to which Joe only responded with a nod and a few, “yes, I know” “let’s get you to bed” “you did great” just small remarks as he helped the man out the car and into to house.

Their house was quite nice, it was a sort of combination between some hippie and country style look. Opening the door both men were greeted by their pets, Bella, Butch Cassidy (Cas for short), Sundance Kid (Sunny for short), and the newest member Elvis. All four dogs rushing towards them demanding attention which both easily gave. Letting go of Joe’s hand, Steven leaned down to grab two of the small dogs and Joe grabbed Elvis and Bella. The dogs were their children at this point, sure both men had their own children but these dogs were the children they both chose.

Of course, the press couldn’t know that, to the outside world Steven was engaged to Aimee Preston and Joe happily married to Billie Perry. Although Joe and Billie had been married for a long time they had broken up the marriage privately 2000 after she found out that he was sneaking around with Steven. She couldn’t be angry at him, she loved Joe and Joe loved her, their relationship stayed strong after their divorce. They shared the dogs, the kids were grown by now so they didn’t have to worry about that, and as for social media well they just always took photos if they ever got together. It was lots of work to appear as a couple but they made it through.

“Ok pups down, time to sleep, go away now” Steven said once he reached the room, putting the excited pups down. They continued to surround his leg, licking and jumping on him. “Just leave em, you’ve got to shower man you really outdid yourself today, didn’t even need even me to hit the guitar note on Crazy—“ “Oh thank you, babe I just hope I didn’t fuck up the vocal chords hitting that shit” The interruption amused Joe, even got a small chuckle out of it, but of course he had more to say as he couldn’t just let the bastard stay on that high horse all night. “Well since we are on the subject of singing, you were a bit pitchy in Sweet Emotion”. That earned the man a gasp from the singer and an amused frown. “Fuck off, like you didn’t mess up the introduction to Saddle, you think I didn’t hear that extreme bend to try and save the note”

Their little critics from the show went on for the while as they began to undress preparing to shower. They weren’t a tidy pair, they were rockstars after all, their clothes were often just thrown on the floor and then picked up in the morning because they would feel bad for making the cleaning ladies do so much.

Will you still love me
When I’m no longer young and beautiful

Joe was in the bathroom, turning the jacuzzi on and letting the water fill and warm up. He’d even gone a step further and added some scented bubbles, they usually just showered to save time and get to bed quickly but Steven had really given his best today, it was one of those nights were the guitarist just stayed surprised at how the other could keep his range at this age. Back in the room though Steven sat on the bed with his robe on, a sigh leaving his lips as he heard the water fill up the tub, he knew what Joe was doing and it was nice to think of being able to hold the other in the water. As he stood to make his way to the bathroom the mirror caught his eye, his makeup was off, his wrinkles were obvious, the tire in his eyes, the skinny figure under his robe, all of it captivated him and made a pit grow in his stomach as he heard his lover call to him from the bathroom.

They had seen each other grow, they’d spent their entire life together, why did it still shame him to show him his aging body? He had gotten surgeries to reduce the effects of aging, a way to try and cope with the fact that he didn’t like his body, Joe had told him that it was not necessary, he had always found him handsome but those words just didn’t seem like truth in Steven’s mind. “Steven? You good?” He heard once again from the bathroom, snapping out of his thoughts he looked away from the mirror and silently walked into the bathroom. Joe was simply covered by a towel around his waist, he was such a skinny mad, always was, his waist always smaller than his, his chest and stomach always flatter than his own. “Well aren’t you romantic” the singer teased as he eyed the water and the bubbles forming. He couldn’t say that he wasn’t excited to jump in immediately both Joe and him loved the water, they made it their goal to visit the beach or a lake at least twice every year so this was definitely a nice detail.

A smirk grew on his lips subconsciously as he saw the other throw the towel aside and expose his naked body briefly before submerging into the welcoming warm water. With a shiver running down his spine Steven finally let down his robe and joined his lover in the tub. Their bodies were like magnets automatically attracting one another and pulling each other close. Silently they held on to one another, Joe’s head resting peacefully on Steven’s chest as they let the silence of the room sink in. After a loud night of rock n roll Steven had to admit that it was nice to have a quiet resting period with his lover. The singer was gone, once again, in thought nothing in particular this time when he suddenly felt it. Lips, soft kisses, tracing their way up his chest and to his crook of his neck. A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he opened his eyes and let his hands slither up the guitarist’s back to trace lazy circles. The kisses on his neck began to change to sucking, dark marks of love being planted on him, and suddenly legs straddled him. His muscles tensed up, he knew what the other wanted, he’d never deny the other pleasure, usually it was the singer who would tease the other but the roles had reversed tonight it seemed. He’d welcome this change any other time but the sudden thought of his body, his aging body, hit him and when his lips connected with the other’s nothing much had happened. What would usually be a passion filled kiss which would turn to intense and lustful shag didn’t happen.

“Would you rather bottom tonight?” Joe asked, genuine concern in his tone as he got off the others lap and looked at him with those beautiful brown eyes that made Steven melt. A sudden wave of regret and embarrassment traveled through the singer’s body as he shook his head no. Come on, get it together, he thought to himself. “Sorry, head in the clouds just thinking about the next show, ya know” Joe could always tell when the other was lying, he would stiffen up and give this smile that Joe knew was fake. Shaking his head the guitarist sighed as he sat besides the other and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “You know, I’ve been with you for almost 50 years or something, I can tell when you’re lying. What’s wrong?” Steven’s face went red as he thought over what he felt. Silence filled the room as Joe awaited an answer from the other. “We can talk about it later, if you’d prefer” “thanks...”

The rest of the bath was mostly on the quiet side, gently they washed each other’s hair, massaging their scalps and giving small kisses here and there. Steven refused to get out of the bathtub before Joe, which gave him an idea of what might be the issue, but he played it off as not wanting to get out of the water. Instead splashing the other with the remaining bubbles and laughing, that wide childish smile could fool anyone, it could make anyone believe him. It wasn’t until Joe left the bathroom that the other got out, a towel around his waist and another on his head. Long hair could really be a hassle sometimes, but he looked good with his long brown locks, he had considered cutting it short like some of the other rockers his age but he had an image and he wasn’t going to let that shatter that soon.

Will you still love me?
When I got nothing but my aching soul?

Chapter Text

The guitarist knew just what was going on, the minute the other man had not kissed him the way he was so used to being kissed he knew something was wrong. Joe knew it had to do with his body because of the small things, Steven not wanting to leave the bathroom at the same time as him, taking so long to even get in the bathroom with him, it was small details like that which Joe had learned to pick up on and know that it was all because of his body image. They were aging, they were both aging, Steven was older than Joe by two years which was not a big age gap, considering other rock star couples, but that also meant that both men should know and perhaps be more comfortable with one another. There was no need to hide the fact that they were aging, at least that’s what Joe always believed.

When on tour, of course, they had an image to keep up. Everyone would dye their hair, would double on their workout routines, and overall take better care of themselves. But when they returned to their homes they let go of that image. In the case of Steven though, it seemed that he never had an easy time letting go of that image. On stage the man was so energetic, anytime he’d turn to eye him while he played, Joe just saw the young man he remembered from back in the 70’s. When the singer would smile or scream it was not an old man performing, it was that youthful man with big dreams of making it big someday. It was as if their music made him young, there would be a gleam in his eyes that could enchant even the most lost souls of the world.

Joe knew that Stevem had surgeries, had some for the wrinkles on his face which had begun to form, some to minimize the fat around his mouth due to his large mouth which was an area of insecurity in the past, and even some liposuction and perhaps even skin surgery on his torso. He also worked out a lot, although always a fit man, now in old age it seemed like he would work harder in his workouts which had minimized over the years. Joe swore he could hear the desperation in every sit up, every breath for air sounding like a curse word at his aging body, and every drop of sweat filled with anger and frustration. The guitarist knew that the other was never happy with the fact that he was aging, from the moment that he noticed the first white hairs he had shut down. He had begun to try to take better care of himself, had begun to look into salons and hair products and all sorts of wild things that once he’d laugh in the face of.

It saddened Joe, if he was being honest. It saddened him to think that the other was never satisfied. Regardless of how much they had done, the hits they wrote, the fame they had accomplished, the money, and fans, Steven always wanted more. Although sad, he had to remind himself that it was that initial ambition which drew him to the man.

His mind was somewhere else as he began to dry his hair with the towel, he already had his pajamas on which were just his black boxers covered by his loose fitting silver pants. About to throw the towel to a nearby chair it took him by surprise when he felt a sudden kiss on his neck and arms wrapping around his waist, pulling him back onto the other. This wasn’t right, Joe thought to himself as he allowed the other to proceed and kiss him. He knew why he was doing this, he wanted to avoid talking about what was really bothering him, instead wanting to give in and offer sex as a way to escape his problems. Just as he felt hands began to slither and tease at the elastic which held his pants loosely up, his own hands grabbed Steven's, putting a stop in the kissing and touching. Such a move shocked the singer, who had caught on to Joe’s realization. There was no escaping what was to come.

“Stop it” Joe said, his voice low as he pushed Steven’s hands away and turned around to look at him. The other was wearing dark loose pants and a button up pajama shirt. Steven never wore shirts to sleep unless it was cold or he didn’t want to show off his body.

Steven’s eyes had gone wide at the sudden push but when he was face to face with Joe he couldn’t help but look away. Joe had something in the way he stared that could make him crumble. “I was just trying to get the mood back, I didn’t want you to go to sleep tonight with blue balls.” The singer tried to save himself by playing his charismatic self, joking around as he made his way to the bed only for such an attempt to also backfire on him.

A hand grabbed his wrist before he could even make it to the bed. Shaking his head Steven pulled away and ran to bed laughing, throwing himself before quickly submerging himself in the covers. “Steven...” there was no winning with him, if he didn’t want to talk it was always hell to try and make him talk because he was a man of extremes. In the early days, and even now sometimes, if he was riled up he would tell you and make sure that everyone in a five mile radius knew that he was pissed. But just as he could be so vocal about his anger and frustrations he could be quiet and bottle up emotions he didn’t feel needed addressing.

Turning off the main lights, the only source of light was now the two lamps that stood on the bedside tables on each side of the bed, each light for each man. The first to go down, or so he made it seem, was Steven. After saying a quick goodnight and giving the other a kiss on the cheek he turned to face away from him. His hand reached out to turn the light off to establish that he was indeed going to sleep to Joe who had decided to stay up and read one more page on the book he had gotten a while back which he never really got the chance to read with all the touring going on.

Joe woke up expecting to feel the warmth of his partner lying fast asleep beside him yet as his hand searched for the other he was surprised by emptiness. Steven was never the one to wake up before Joe. Not unless he had somewhere to go. Last he recalled Steven didn’t have any appointments. That’s when he heard it, the blender downstairs going off.

Groaning, the guitarist shifted out of bed, slipping on his slippers, and made his way downstairs expecting to see the older man looking just as tired as he felt. “What in your right mind do you think you’re—“

The sudden voice caught Steven by surprise, jumping ever so slightly in place, almost tipping over the glass he was filling.
He had showered already. Joe thought. How? He hadn’t heard a thing. Steven was dressed casually in some loose fitting pants and a light, also slightly loose fitting shirt. His hair was put up in its usual messy ponytail and the look was pulled together with his black framed glasses.

Scanning the area he noticed that there were various fruits and vegetables laid out, as if used, alongside some orange juice.

“What are you doing?”
“Smoothie”
“Steven, it’s 7 in the morning.”
“Yeah about time you wake up sleeping beauty”

There it was again. The playful smile and chuckle as if none of this was out of place. The pair had animals they had to feed but usually they’d wake up at 7 to start the chores not have had finished by 7.

“Why? You don’t even drink smoothies”
“Well it’s hot outside and I wanted a smoothie. I saw this video that said you don’t taste celery in smoothies if you’ve got orange juice and I wanted to try.”
“Steven, enough. Jesus Christ talk with me. What’s wrong?”

And suddenly silence fell over them. Steven stood with a green drink in hand, looking down at it, and Joe stared him down waiting for an answer. A sigh left Joe’s lips before he walked over to Steven, gently taking the drink from him and standing in front of him. Putting the drink to the side he let both his hands cup the other’s cheeks, gently pulling his gaze up to meet his.