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It was in the commissary when he said it. Rex hadn’t even meant to say it. It just slipped out. In his defense, he’d been tired beyond belief—they had just finished a campaign on some planet Rex had already forgotten the name of, and the victory had been hard won. No casualties, thank the gods, but it had been such a long campaign.
General Skywalker had been sitting right next to him, mouth full, chewing on some delicacy the locals had gifted them. Kix, Fives, and Echo had been sitting across. Jesse and Tup had joined them. Ahsoka had been on his other side, gleefully tearing into raw meat. Rex wrinkled his nose at the sight, but gave his usual exasperated sigh of fondness when her blue eyes looked at him.
She just smiled wickedly, her pointed teeth bared. Rex just scoffed and lightly punched her in the arm.
Rex knew that he had spoken in Mando’a before the General, and Ahsoka. Nearly all the command team of the 501st did. He knew the General knew some words. Ahsoka had picked up on it quicker than he had, though. She could speak nearly in full sentences, much to Rex’s pride.
“Vod, the spinach,” he nodded, gesturing to Anakin. Anakin gladly obliged, passing the bowl of the greens to him with a quiet smile. He didn’t see how Anakin’s eyes had widened fractionally, or the twitch in his mechanical hand when Rex had said that.
Fives kicked him under the table. Rex took it without a word, but gave the man a questioning look. Fives looked confused. Then Rex saw Echo give him a similar look, and so did Kix.
“Well, he is, isn’t he?” Rex defended himself, quickly. Fives and Echo looked at each other, and Rex saw them have one of their silent conversations. Kix just shook his head and grinned.
Anakin held up his hands, in surrender. “Hey, I just wanted to give the captain his spinach.”
“Well, sure he is,” Kix started to say. “But…”
Rex shrugged him off. “Yeah, yeah, Anakin’ll never be as pretty as us, Kix, I know, we all know. Honorary vod, then.”
Anakin smiled then, a small, brilliant thing. “I’m quite alright with that, Rex.”
Rex rolled his eyes.
Ahsoka giggled.
Tup joined their table, then. “Ugh, I swear, I will be tasting mud for the next three cycles,” he complained, sitting heavily down next to Anakin.
“Better eat some of this meat, then, Tup. You want some?” Ahsoka asked. Kix sighed heavily, then began bickering with Tup over if he could have it.
Later, when walking out of the commissary, after a drink or two of tihaar that Rex had brought, Anakin brought Rex aside.
“I, um, I just wanted to say, uh, thanks, I guess. For thinking me as…you know,” Anakin gestured helplessly.
Rex smiled. “It’s fine, Anakin. You’re one of us. You’re always gonna be one of us.”
He watched Anakin’s face light up at that, and cursed all the stars in the universe for that face. That gentleness, the softness of him, even as he fought as a warrior on the battlefield, treating all the men as equal to him.
“I appreciate that, Captain.”
Rex waved him off. “Just Rex, right now.”
Anakin nodded. “Alright, Rex.”
And Rex felt his soul tingle when he said his name.
“Night, then,” Anakin said, retreating into his own quarters.
“Goodnight,” Rex responded. He watched numbly as the doors slid open, and then shut noiselessly behind him. He sat on his bed, rubbing his eyes.
Somewhere, between the heights and the falls, and the endless nights where the zing of bolts created shrieking hell, between the ash and fire that victory cost—somehow it had happened. If it was in one of the planning sessions, if it was one of the times they were captured in the field, if it was one of those small, quiet moments where the stars stopped wheeling overhead—Rex would never know. But it had happened. He was in love with Anakin Skywalker. He knew it as well as he knew his own chosen name.
He let his head fall against the bed and closed his eyes. He was entirely too sober for these thoughts, and, like any good soldier, locked them away. Perhaps in another lifetime.
It had been frustrating, for Anakin, Rex knew, when he’d been brought aboard the Resolute.
“What do you mean, ‘not fit for command’?” Anakin had asked him, eyes confused. “You’ve had all the training. You’ve passed every test, and I know you wouldn’t have been sent to the front if you hadn’t had all the right training.”
“You’re right, sir.”
Anakin had thrown his hands up. “So remind me why you shouldn’t be the commander to my general?”
Rex had kept his expression carefully neutral. “I was not recommended for command due to my…defect, sir.”
Anakin’s eyes had widened in concern. “ ‘Defect’?”
“My hair, sir.”
“Your hair?” Anakin had blinked. “Your defect is…your hair?”
“That’d be correct, sir.”
He had felt Anakin’s eyes rake over his hair. “Your hair’s fine, what’s that got to do with anything?”
Rex remembered having to grit his teeth. Did he really need to spell it out for the jetii? He didn’t think the jetii were this dumb.
“I’m blond, sir.”
“So’m I, what’s…” Anakin had trailed off, eyes widening in understanding, then anger. “You’re telling me that you’re not…”
“That’s correct, sir.”
Rex remembered seeing Anakin take a deep breath and closing his eyes.
“Well, what rank did they recommend you for? The Kaminoans.” He had a dangerous tone, though Rex was intuitive enough to not think it was directed at him
“Captain, sir.”
“Then, Rex, you will be my Captain, and my second in command,” Anakin stated, his eyes flashing. “Everyone else can, frankly, kark themselves.”
“Yes, sir.”
Rex remembered all of it as if it was yesterday, though it had been closer to two years ago, now.
He’d noticed it, whenever they’d been on missions. He’d said it to other jetii, to other Commanders, to Republic military.
“I’m sorry, I’m bringing my captain with me.”
“My captain will not be pleased with the current state of affairs, sergeant.”
“My captain stays with me.”
“My captain will be in charge of that.”
“My captain and I will make preparations.”
Rex knew he’d started saying that to kark with the chain of command, to remind others they served with that Rex was just as capable as any other Commander, possibly even more capable. It wasn’t Anakin’s fault that Rex had started taking it to heart.
Anakin had even asked him, one day.
“Um, Captain, I hope it doesn’t bother you.”
“What, sir?”
Anakin had reddened, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I, uh, often refer to you as, uh, mycaptain.” He said the last words in a rush. “Does it bother you? I can stop, I don’t want you to think, I, like, own you, or anything. You’re a person, and, uh, I realize I, um, might have…overstepped my, uh. Jurisdiction. Boundaries. That’s what I meant.” Anakin coughed.
Rex remembered grinning. “No, it doesn’t bother me much, sir. You can keep doing it, if you like. Just remember I’m my own man, my own person, and I can live with you continuing that.”
Anakin had winced. “If it had bothered you, please know you can always come to me. I don’t want any of my behaviors to unsettle you. I try to be self-reflective, but, uh,” and here he’d grinned shyly, “I’m working on it, still.”
Rex had nodded. “Yes, sir. Of course.”
It wasn’t until later that Rex had realized that he was lately feeling a little thrill at the term. But he’d shoved it aside and locked it down.
“You ever think about what names mean?” Ahsoka asked.
Rex sighed. “Not really. Not unless its useful to the mission.”
Ahsoka stroked her chin. “I think names are pretty useful. Like, all the clones choose their names, right? Surely you must think of meaning, when you choose your names.
“Sure, some do,” Rex responded. “A lot also look at the first object they see once they get off Kamino and name themselves after that, so. Not necessarily a lot of thought goes into it.”
Ahsoka hummed thoughtfully. “I’m named after an ancient ruler of my people—he unified all of the Togrutan tribes. He was also fond of a certain type of tree, which I was born under, giving me my name. It links me to my people, forever.”
Anakin sighed. “Not all people think so much of a name, Ahsoka.”
“What about you, Master?” Ahsoka asked. “Anything in your name?”
Anakin huffed. His eyes grew distant as he thought for a long while. Rex and Ahsoka never begrudged him the long silences he sometimes fell into. They knew he was somewhere else entirely, bringing all the words he could muster to explain.
“I am a child of the desert,” he said softly. “I was born with no father, and so my mother took on the name Skywalker—the name of a trickster, a hero, the slave who makes free.”
Rex’s eyes widened, and he looked at Ahsoka, who was staring back at him with the same confusion and awe. Anakin never talked about his past, not ever. Rex had wanted to ask, sometimes, but he saw the pained look, the guard in Anakin’s eyes whenever he’d mentioned it. So he held his tongue, and never asked.
Anakin continued. “When I was brought to the Temple on Coruscant, I looked up the etymology of my name. It means fate, inevitable, destiny. All that fun stuff.”
Rex shivered with the thought of carrying such a heavy name. Then Anakin looked at him, a mischievous glint in his too-blue eyes.
“I also looked up what Rex means,” he said playfully. Rex scoffed.
“Yeah, I named myself after a particularly ferocious beast,” he said, leaning back. “On Geonosis, I found a skeleton of a huge dragon-lizard thing, and it gave me shelter during the battle. When I came back, I looked up what it was, and the most pronounceable, for my mouth, anyways, name for it was Rex.”
He saw the corners of Anakin’s mouth turn up slightly, and the other man shook with repressed laughter.
“What’s so funny, Master?” Ahsoka asked, offended on Rex’s behalf.
“Nothing, Ahsoka. I’m sorry, Rex. I just…I thought you maybe looked up some old Basic, or something. In a precursor to Basic, Rex means king. I thought you would have named yourself after that,” Anakin finished.
“Oh,” Rex said.
“That one fits you more, anyways,” Anakin said, looking away. Rex felt his cheeks heat.
Ahsoka rolled her eyes. “It’s his name anyways. It can mean both king and giant lizard,” she said simply.
Rex laughed, the tension in the room ebbing away. Anakin laughed along with him, turning to Rex.
“A wise compromise, my young Padawan.”
Rex felt himself get sucked into the blue, fluid gaze. Anakin smiled, and Rex felt his whole soul light up.
It was a bad ambush. They had been caught in a gully. Ahsoka had been leading the majority of the other 501st troops the long way around, while Anakin, Rex, and several other members of the command team took the shorter, more direct route.
They were surrounded. Fives and Echo kept taking down wave after wave of enemy fighters, but they were quickly becoming tired. Rex, for his part, wasn’t the best sharpshooter in the 501st for nothing. He made sure to be uber accurate with his shots. He only had so many.
He didn’t have enough time to keep an eye on Anakin. But he knew that the jetii would be whirling, blue blade dancing in the hail of blaster bolts.
They had almost won—Rex could feel it. The waves were fewer and farther in coming.
And then it came.
He heard Anakin shout his name. Muted, dull, as if from underwater.
Time seemed to slow as Rex turned. Anakin had run to Rex’s side, and there was a smoking hole where Anakin’s stomach should be.
Rex dropped his pistols and immediately dragged Anakin to a place of cover.
“Rex,” Anakin moaned.
Gods, had he taken a cannon to his stomach? The stench of burning flesh made Rex want to vomit.
“Careful, General. Don’t try to talk.” Rex pushed the man back to rest.
“The men,” Anakin struggled to sit up.
“The men can take care of themselves. Just rest now, General.” Rex had to keep calling him general, keep the man from doing anything stupid.
“Fine, Rex.” Anakin looked up at him, the light in his blue eyes fading. “Gods, Rex—”
Rex lobbed a grenade at some oncoming droids.
“You’re so beautiful, Rex.”
And that made Rex stop and look. Anakin was looking at him with so much love and kindness, it made Rex want to look away, to not be the focus of all that light.
“Just stay down, General. We’ll get out of this. I promise you.”
“Rex, you—you gotta know—Rex, look at me.”
And Rex did.
“Rex, you’re…” Anakin coughed. “You’re everything, Rex. You’re my brother, my captain, my king.”
And Rex wanted to cry at the look in his eyes.
“Don’t be so poetic, General. Keep that up for when reinforcements arrive,” Rex forced himself to laugh, tears in his eyes.
“Love moves me, and forces me to speak.” Anakin just looked at him, sadness marring the love and happiness in his eyes. “Not gonna last that long, Rex.”
“Oh, yes you are, sir,” Fives said, striding up to them. Rex looked up at his brother—Fives was standing there, hand on his hip, blaster smoking.
“We just commed for Commander Tano to bring Kix and to get you back to the medbay on the Resolute. She should be here any second,” Fives said, concern for Anakin in his face.
“Alright. Alright. Anakin, hang on,” Rex pleaded. “Please.”
“Anything for you, my king,” Anakin said, and Rex wanted to cry at how stupid the man was. At how stupid they both were.
“Stop that,” Rex said, laughing and crying.
“Fine, then, my captain,” Anakin coughed/gasped/laughed. “Is that an order, my captain?”
“Gods,” Rex laughed, terror clawing at his heart. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”
Anakin looked pained at the prospect. “Never that, no,” he traced Rex’s face with his flesh hand. “Never that,” he breathed.
Fives, Echo, and a few of the other troopers gathered around them, although Rex got the distinct impression they were trying to give him and Anakin as much privacy as possible. He only held Anakin’s head in his lap and ran his gloved fingers through Anakin’s mussed hair.
“Can’t you use your Force healing abilities?” Rex whispered.
“Trying,” Anakin breathed back.
The engines of a gunship roared overhead. Ahsoka leaned out, concern written in her young, young face. She saw Rex and nodded.
“We’ll get him to safety,” she shouted. She used the Force to levitate him up to the gunship, and Rex had to restrain himself when he felt Anakin slipping from his grasp. When Ahsoka had settled Anakin on the gunship, Ahsoka began to levitate him. Any other day, Rex would have complained, but not today.
Ahsoka took one look at Anakin and Rex, and sighed. “Give me reports on him,” she said, gripping his arm tightly.
“I will.” Rex nodded. He watched as Ahsoka placed her hands on Anakin, and her brow furrowed. A gentle glow emanated from her hands, and the huge hole that Rex had been forcing himself to not look at began to close and weave itself back together. She stood and staggered a bit, and Rex steadied her.
She flashed Rex an impish grin. “I’ll see you both later!” She gave them a lazy salute, and then jumped out of the gunship.
Rex laughed shakily. He’d never get used to jetii. He knelt down by Anakin, and clasped the other man’s hand in his.
Anakin opened his eyes, and the light in his eyes was a little stronger this time, easing a bit of the worry in Rex’s heart.
“My brother, my captain, my king,” Anakin said. Rex felt his cheeks heat—thankfully, they were the only ones on the ship, apart from the pilot.
“Please,” he begged Anakin, “you’re so embarrassing.”
All Anakin did was smile. “I love you, Rex.”
Rex smiled back. He lowered his head into a Keldabe kiss. “I love you, too,” he breathed against Anakin’s mouth. He kissed Anakin, and there they remained until they got aboard the Resolute.