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TJ and Cyrus’ relationship is one based off of touch. The interlocked fingers. The shoulder bumps and arm rubs.
At first, it seemed casual. Both thought the other was just being friendly. But then they tested the boundaries. They held on longer when greeting each other. They placed hands on each other’s shoulders and arms in comfort. When they sat together, they would press their elbows or shoulders together.
Each time they lingered the contact, tingles would dance up their bodies.
Then that night on the bench. Looking into each other’s eyes spoke enough, but their nervous minds made them hesitate and ask questions. They couldn’t even form the proper words to answer each other. What they felt couldn’t be described. Instead they reached for each other’s hands, and the moment couldn’t have been replaced with a thousand words.
But they were still cautious in public. They kept their feelings private and sacred. When they finally told their friends, all they had to do was gesture to their locked hands. It was all they needed to make them happy.
When they’re tired it’s head on shoulders and other head gently pressed against the top of the other. Or it’s one laying their head on the other’s chest as they softly play with their hair.
Movie night was Cyrus’ favorite time to use TJ as a pillow. TJ never cared, even if his arm grew numb from being under the pressure of his boyfriend’s head. As long as he got to rest his head on Cyrus’ chest when he got sleepy. Cyrus would run his fingers through his hair and mumble incoherent things, later revealed to be “Why is your hair so soft?” or “This isn’t fair.”
The rare occasions where Cyrus fell asleep on TJ always made the taller boy’s heart swell. He was always so warm. TJ would never understand why, but he didn’t let that bother him. Knowing that Cyrus was comfortable enough to fall asleep around him, much less on him, filled TJ with an indescribable feeling.
In those moments, wrapped up in each other’s arms, both boys knew that they were safe. Nothing could hurt them.
When they grow more comfortable with their relationship, it’s light, soft kisses on the forehead and cheek. When they smile at each other they press their noses or foreheads together.
Not long after they became open with their relationship, TJ leaned down and kissed Cyrus’ forehead. Even though the action wasn’t meant to be a grand romantic gesture, it sent Cyrus over the moon. It was like confirming their feelings all over again. TJ Kippen really liked him. And he really liked TJ Kippen.
Cyrus was the one who placed kisses on cheeks. He left forehead ones to TJ, since he was taller and it was easier. And TJ would never get over how gentle Cyrus was with him. He was very present, very real, but so soft . It made his heart melt.
They would often go to the park and sit by the pond. Talking for hours wasn’t hard to do. And when one would make a joke the other would lean over and laugh into them. Cyrus especially loved it when he would be the one to make TJ laugh. The boy would respond by pressing his forehead against his and laughing.
But it was never ordinary laughter. It was full of bliss and pure euphoria. Cyrus would never get over it. The comfort that came with the contact was endless. And no prize could ever replace TJ’s smile.
Kisses are special things that don’t happen as often as they yearn for, but that’s what makes them special. They’re private and romantic and everything they hope for.
The first time they kissed was in late summer. High school had barely started, and they were already sad at the thought of being separated by classes. They were sitting on Cyrus’ back porch at night, watching fireflies zig-zag around the shrubs and flower pots. TJ was gently pushing the bench swing with his longer legs. They had finished homework and were dreading the busy weekend ahead.
TJ made a nervous comment about basketball tryouts, resulting in Cyrus softly chuckling and looking up at him. How could this boy possibly be nervous about something like that? Cyrus smiled and pulled him impossibly closer. “Don’t worry.” He sent a comforting message with his eyes before closing the space between them.
Their lips still tingled after they pulled apart.
And the same feeling came after every other kiss they shared. The one at the park during Thanksgiving break. The one under every bundle of mistletoe TJ stopped under. The one senior year after the state basketball game.
Soon after that late summer night, TJ realized how badly he wanted Cyrus Goodman to stay with him. And Cyrus came to the conclusion that he would never meet anyone else like TJ Kippen. Never in their wildest dreams did they think they’d end up where they were.
When they finally realized that what they had was love, they didn’t need any words to celebrate. Just the reassuring touch saying they were there for each other. And they always would be.