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It was late. Everyone was supposed to be asleep, but I found myself sitting up and planting my bare feet on the cold ground. Lights were out, but I knew my way out of the room without seeing. The hall was so empty, and all the free space made me shiver with excitement. There was no one around to bark orders, no one to tell me to get back to training, no one to ask what I was up to. After a few minutes I wanted to escape the halls, the fear of being caught growing in my chest. I knew just where to go.
After just a few minutes of being half-sure where I was going, I found it. The closest door leading to the outside was high up- I must have climbed three flights of stairs- and the door was huge and heavy. Its latch and handle sapped the heat out of my hands just as I knew the outside air would but it was worth it. Metallic creaks and groans filled the air and it was so loud and echo-y that I instinctively yanked it open. Sure enough it opened with ease and made much less noise. The outside air hit me like a wave. The shivers set in instantly, but in front of me was a large empty balcony and the view was incredible. As far as I could see was the Fright Zone. It was so vast I wondered if I would ever see it all. I wanted to see it all.
The full capacity of being alone finally set in. I was all alone. When was the last time I was by myself? I could do whatever I wanted. I could start doing jumping jacks and no one would know. No one would care. So if I wanted to see more...
There were large boxy structures littering the balcony, some of them extending under it and over it. One of them jutted over the edge; a break in the railing looked like a good place to climb. My feet were carrying me before my mind was even made up, and I placed my first foot on the rusty bar. It was cold and rough, but so were my feet. I leaned, balancing myself against the block that must have been circulating air because it had a huge fan on the top, covered by a grate. The rail didn't give way, so I put my whole weight on it. It creaked and leaned outwards. The small shift towards the edge was enough to shoot dread up my spine. The fall was more than lethal. But the rail held fast after that. I tried pushing it more, and it didn't budge. Surely... I only needed to stand on it for a moment. Before I could change my mind, I went for it. I braced my weight on my back foot before launching forward, arms reaching for the top of the vent box.
"Hey!"
My head turned, my balance shifted, and the rail snapped. The world moved in a blur as my legs flew out from under me, my face about to fall into the balcony floor. I squeezed my eyes shut and everything in my body rushed up to my throat. I didn't even realize something had caught my arm until I heard that voice again and dared to open my eyes.
"Hey there! That was super dangerous- Are you okay? Wow, I can't believe I caught you! I'm so glad I did-" I looked up at her, my mind blank. It was Scorpia. She was talking, and I was there dangling off the edge of a creaky balcony.
"-So what are you doing out here? I thought everyone was asleep." I smiled awkwardly.
"Oh. You know... just- just hanging around?" A few seconds of eye contact passed and while the view of her face was pleasing, dangling off a death drop was very much NOT. She was smiling, and then it very obviously dawned on her that she should pull me up.
"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. Let me pull you up!" I only knew who Scorpia was because everyone did. We would see her walking around, looking busy- carrying files or equipment of some kind- but we never talked to her. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered why.
"Are you okay?" she asked again.
"Yeah! Yes, I'm okay. Sorry! Thank you for catching me." Having run out of automatic voicelines, I looked away and sheepishly grinned.
"Oh, it's no problem. What are you doing out here anyway?" She paused and I inhaled to respond, but I didn't get the chance. "I'm out here because I like the fresh air. It's nice to come out here when no one else is around and just, BE HERE, you know? There's always something to do inside during the day, so this is like the opposite of that! I like it a lot. I can see almost all of the Fright Zone from here. It's pretty cool, don't you think?"
I pursed my lips at her, because I had no idea if she actually wanted a response. Worry crossed her face. "I'm here for that, too. I just wanted to climb up there to get a better view." I pointed, and she looked away for a while. We stood there, and all I could see was the back of her. She was large, compared to most. She was tall, but it was her broad shoulders that had made her seem intimidating... "What are you-"
"Well do you still wanna get up there?" She turned back towards me, and the look on her face was like what I first felt when I stepped out of my room. Excited and curious. I nodded. "Come on!" She wrapped her arm around me and pulled me to the wall of the box, notably away from the edge of the balcony. Without any warning, she stooped down, wrapped her arms around my butt, and lifted me.
Somehow, through the flood of 'of my god, oh my god, oh my GOD' in my head, my brain managed to realize that I should probably just climb onto the box and not have Scorpia's face next to my ass for another second. My arms were a little shaky now, but I decided to not think about why. I crouched there on the edge of the box and turned to her.
"Do... you wanna join me?" Her face lit up like she genuinely didn't think I was going to ask. I held my hands out, entirely unsure how I was going to lift someone almost twice my size. She laughed. I thought it would have hurt my pride a bit, but it didn't. It made me feel better about offering my hand, somehow.
"No, that's alright, I'll go up this way." She gestured to the far side of the box. I climbed over to see smaller boxes and thick pipes forming a make-shift staircase up to the top.
"I can't believe I didn't see that!" I blurted.
"I've actually been up here before. You only climb up the hard way once!"
"No kidding... I think I kind of destroyed the hard way." My voice died down as I saw Scorpia sit down at the edge of the box and beckon me.
"Come on,' She smiled again, "I promise this is safe."
I crawled over, slowly, and sat next to her. We were only about six feet higher, but I could see miles and miles farther. I wondered, ‘what if the clouds of smoke disappeared’? What would I be able to see from here? "What’cha thinking about?" The question caught me off guard. It wasn't something someone would ask. I hesitated. I wondered what I could tell someone like Scorpia. I wasn't really sure who she was... just that she was important. She was kept separate from everyone else, it seemed. But...
"I wonder if this is everything there is. How far does it all go?" I peered at Scorpia from the corner of my eye, just to gauge if I was in trouble, but she was already looking at me. I turned on instinct and panicked. "I mean- I know it's nothing but Fright Zone until wherever those monstrous princesses are, but- I mean..." She held up her claws and waved them around, a signal for me to stop digging a hole to die in.
"No I get it! I was thinking that, too! I mean, the Horde has been here a while, so I don't know what it was like before, but some places have to look different, right?" I didn't know what she meant about 'before the Horde', but I smiled a relieved, shaky smile.
"Why have I never talked to you before? You're really cool." I didn't just surprise myself with my forwardness- I could see Scorpia's ears turn pink.
"You really think so?"
"Absolutely! You saved me, first off. Second, we're both out here in the middle of the night for some reason, so we're thinking the same things. And I know I'M cool!" I laughed to make light of my self-confidence, but the way Scorpia chuckled with me reassured me that I didn't need to. We sat and talked for what felt like maybe thirty minutes, but before I knew it the sky was getting lighter. Somehow we had gotten to talking about if dreams could be played like a simulation before I realized that I needed to get back into my room. "Oh my god! I have to go!"
* * *
The day passed by slowly. Everything seemed more tedious, not to mention how tired I was. My roommate noticed, but she wasn't one to mention it. My team even mentioned how my battle skills seemed less predictable, but more effective, which was a good thing. I wondered if it was because I was tired, or because I was a little... happier. Night finally came, and I had to decide. The lights went out, and I laid in bed. What if she's not out there? What if that was a one-time thing? What if Scorpia wanted to be actually alone? It made sense to me that maybe bothering her once was enough... So I stayed in bed, and willed myself to fall asleep.
I woke up, but knew I was dreaming. I was in my room, but it was also somehow the balcony. To my left was the view, but instead of fading into the distance it curled up and stretched into the sky. The sky! There were lights in the sky, and I felt afraid. I felt like I was going to fall into the sky if I lost my balance, and I was swaying. Panic soaked into my stomach like cold water and my skin crawled, until I felt something grab my arm. My head snapped to the side in surprise, and I saw Scorpia. She pulled me down steps I don't remember climbing and held me close.
"It's okay" she said. "I gotcha, you aren't gonna fall." I stared at her and she smiled. We got closer, and closer, until I swore she was about to kiss me, and our lips met. Something about it felt like that satisfying warmth when you wake up cold and pull the blanket back over your body. She was soft and warm, and holding me in place.
The lights came on, and my eyes stung in rebellion. I could hear my roommate shuffling around, probably getting dressed, and I knew I was really awake this time. I groaned and rolled out of bed. We stepped into the training room and knew immediately that something was going on. Scorpia was there, along with a girl I'd never seen before. She had purple hair, and it looked like it had a mind of its own! It was so strange I stared for a moment. She scurried away carrying bits of metal, saying it was exactly what she needed. She disappeared into an air vent, and that did not sit right with me but at that moment Scorpia stepped forward and I needed to make eye contact. I wanted to ask if she went outside last night. She purposefully looked away from me.
"Hi, guys.. So, the training room is missing some parts now, and it won't be working for now! Sooo, uh, just go do all of your other duties for today! Okay, that's all, thank you!" Was I about to leave my team to try to talk to her? I couldn't! We had things to do, and we were supposed to stick together... and I could get in a lot of trouble for leaving with no reason. But...
"Scorpia, wait!" My legs were carrying me to her, and I could see her shoulders stiffen. She turned to me, and my heart thudded. She wasn't running away. "I need to talk to you. I- Or I just wanted to ask... Did you go last night?" She smiled sheepishly and looked to the side.
"Yeah, I, you know. I thought it'd be nice to get some fresh air." She hugged her pincers to her sides and gave me a look.
"I'm sorry I didn't go. I wish I did." I was worried she was going to tell me not to, so I pressed on. "I hope I see you there tonight... I gotta go. See you!" I ran off to my team before I could think about what I just did. Training was slow, but somehow not as tedious today.
* * *
I had forgotten to bring a blanket. I thought about it, and folded it before leaving my room, but I was so anxious that I left it there on my bed. I climbed up and sat on the ac box from last time and silently stared out at the Fright Zone. The breeze was making it even colder, but somehow the haze preventing me from seeing far off into the distance held fast. Where did it come from? Why wouldn't it ever leave? I just wanted to know what the rest of the world looked like. We'd all heard of poisonous forests and ruthless oceans where evil princesses lived, but I wanted to SEE it. How different would a forest be to the Fright Zone? What if... what would happen if I just started walking-
"Hi! I don't really know what to say!" I whipped around, startled, and immediately could tell that her smile was forced. Suddenly all the reasons to be nervous came flooding back.
"Oh! Um, hi. You don't have to say anything in particular... Come up here with me?" I reached my hand out. She placed her pincer and a bit of her weight in it, but then we both realized she was going to have to walk around to my other side to actually climb up. I chuckled, and she did too. I offered my other hand and she took it for balance, even though I was sure she didn't need it. She sat next to me and despite being a hand length away from me, I could feel warmth radiating off of her. A shiver rattled down my spine, my body remembering how cold it was. "I like hanging out with you. So... Thank you for coming out here. I mean, I'm s-sure you would want to come out here for fresh air, b-but I'm glad I can j-join you." I decided to shut up before my shivering made it impossible to talk at all.
"Hey." I turned to her and her eyes shifted to the side, but she was still facing me. "If you're cold, I brought a blanket this time. Stay right here!" She hopped up, and disappeared behind the heavy door in an instant, and reappeared with a blanked that looked just like mine, though maybe a bit bigger. She handed it to me a climbed back up. I wrapped myself in it and couldn't help but sigh in relief.
"Oh my gosh! Thank you, I was dying!" I laughed, and saw that she was smiling at me. I lifted my arm towards her, hoping she'd understand I was asking her if she wanted to join me in the blanket's shelter. She froze, and my stomach dropped. For a moment she looked like her mind was a million miles away, and worry sank into my chest. Did I do something wrong? Was I assuming too much about how close we were?
But then she smiled again, and it was the brightest smile I'd ever seen.
"Can I really join you?" I cocked an eyebrow at her and chuckled teasingly.
"Of course! C'mere." I motioned with my open arm and she excitedly pulled the blanket up and around her shoulder, her other side pressing against mine. The warmth she gave off was incredible, and so was talking with her. I liked listening to her. I was surprised by how open she was with me, and by the things she said. She knew the princesses. She knew what the world was like outside the Fright Zone. I wanted to hear all of it.
Then she started talking about Catra. We all knew to leave well enough alone when it came to her, especially lately. But I felt jealous then, even when it began to sound like it wasn’t meant to be between them. I had the urge to be loyal to Scorpia the way she was to Catra, and couldn’t help fanaticizing. What would it be like to be that close to someone?
“Hey, you okay?” Her voice filled me with guilt as I realized that I had spaced out.
“I’m sorry! I was just thinking… It must be nice to have such a close friend. Even if it hurts sometimes, you know it won’t be like that forever because you trust her. You're strong...” I was staring, but she was letting me. I could see her smile in her eyes when she responded,
“Things are going to change around here. I promise you that you’ll know what that’s like soon. I…” She looked away and I did too. “I wish I had realized all of this sooner.” I thought about that in silence. To some degree, from what I understood, parts of the war were within her control. But I’ve never heard anyone blaming her for our lives. Most people enjoyed training. I opened my mouth and inhaled, ready to tell her that no one had any ill will towards her, but then she spoke up again. “Do you think I can be a good leader? Like, and actually GOOD one?” I turned my head and was almost intimidated by her earnest stare. But her eyes were so beautiful and strong, and so was the rest of her. She deserved to know every good part of herself.
“Without a doubt; you already are.” My voice almost cracked, but I didn’t want either of us to move an inch. Her eyes started darting from side to side, and a blush spread from her cheeks to her nose. I felt my eyebrows rise in feigned naivety every time her gaze reconnected with mine. My heart was beating so hard that the noise distracted me from the jitters in my chest. Her pincer was resting gently on my cheek and in the next moment, her face was only an inch away from mine.
“Is- Is this okay?”
“Very ‘okay’ ” I breathed. We watched each other as the space between us closed, but the moment her lips met mine I melted. My eyes slipped closed and I leaned inward and upward, heart exploding at the feeling of her leaning down to kiss me. We parted for a moment so small it was forgotten in the next when I tilted my head and gently parted my lips to deepen the kiss. She moved with me and before I knew it cold air was rushing around my legs where the blanket moved as she pulled me into her lap. I knew I must have been heavy, so I tried to support most of my weight off of her without ruining the moment. We realized at the same time that I was straddling her lap, and I froze in embarrassment. My hands shot down to move off of her, but she swiftly grabbed my wrists and held them out at our sides.
“It’s very okay.” And she pulled me back in.