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Eddie moved to LA in a box. One, singular box, and not even a very big one. He'd shoved his clothes into a suitcase, put Chris' things into a few cartons, fit everything into his truck, turned tail and ran.
A fresh start in LA, somewhere free from his parents, free from their incessant criticisms, free from the constant reminders that he wasn’t good enough for Chris, and Shannon.
He’d sifted through his bedroom in Texas, trying to find things to put in - a few picture frames, a couple books - but that was it. They didn’t even fill the box completely.
It felt strange, like his home in Texas was so transient, even when he'd grown up there.
He hadn’t always had so few things, but leaving for the army had apparently been enough for his parents to pack everything else into boxes and throw them in the attic. And honestly? If he didn’t need them for the months that he’s been back, he wouldn't need them again.
So the rest stays in the attic, back in Texas, back with his old life.
As much as the move is about trying to give Chris a better life, it's also, deep down, about himself. A place where he feels at home, where he can be himself.
-
His house in LA is a fraction of the size it was back home, but Eddie’s never felt quite so free.
It takes him a grand total of a week to move in completely. One day to buy a whole lot of furniture (dark oak, as he swipes his card. Something his parents wouldn’t have approved of.) One day setting up Chris’ room, almost two days for the rest - and barely three hours for his own room.
The walls are bare, almost nothing in it save for the photos on his dresser - 3 of them.
The first (his favourite) is of him and Chris, smiling widely at the camera. They’d gone to the fair, spent the day eating cotton candy and going circles on the Ferris Wheel, and Chris had had the time of his life.
Looking at it, Eddie's reminded of how much light Chris has brought into his life, how much sheer joy fills his heart for his son. It's a lovely boost on good days, and a pick-me-up on the worst days.
The second brings back bittersweet memories. It's of him and Shannon dressed in hospital scrubs, holding Chris, red and wrinkled, between them. He stares at the glowing smiles on their faces, and for a brief moment, he lets himself pretend. Pretend that Shannon's still here, that they could be as happy as they were back then.
They hadn't gotten a chance to take a new photo since then, both of them caught up in a whirlwind of military tours and parents and fights.
But she's been gone for a while now, somewhere in LA taking care of her mom, and Eddie doesn't know if he'll ever see her again. LA is huge, after all. Chris isn't old enough to fully understand yet, doesn't fully understand that she might not come back again. And Eddie dreads the day he has to explain that his mom left them - left him forever, not because of Chris, but because of Eddie.
The photo serves as a reminder for a happier time, and he's caught himself staring at it far more than once.
The third, strangely enough, is a photo of him as a baby. He's naked from the waist down, butt on full display, looking confused. He'd gotten it from his abuela, who'd apparently kept it framed on her mantle for ages.
When she'd heard he was moving to LA, she'd immediately demanded he visit her, the first chance he had. Being a good grandson, he did. And it felt nice, having her pinch his cheeks, tell him he's too skinny, and give him and Chris so much food they can barely eat.
It makes Eddie feel like a child again. He did always feel like he had to grow up too fast.
So when the photo catches his eye on the mantle, he nearly chokes.
"I wouldn't have to keep that photo of you if I saw you more often," abuela says, tone scolding but light. "Take it home with you, it'll give you something to decorate your house with."
Eddie sputters and tries to refuse, even as Chris shrieks and bursts into giggles at the sight of his dad as a butt naked baby. But at the end of the day, Chris is holding it as they make their way home.
To fill the empty space, he reminds himself, as he places it on his dresser.
Sure, the photos add some personal touch, but everything still feels so painfully bare.
I've got time, he thinks, time to build a life here for myself, and for Chris.
So he does.
-
His first week with the 118 isn't what he'd expected. Frankly, he'd thought it would be just another job, another bunch of dudes who were just gathered under the same house to work.
The one and only thing he misses about the army is the camaraderie, and he doubts he'll find it here.
Instead, he gets a ragtag family - it's only been a week, but he's sure that family is the only way to describe them.
There's Bobby, de facto dad of the station, who welcomes Eddie with a twinkle in his eye and food on the dining table.
There's Chim, who pats him on the back and says, "no matter how many abs you have, I'll always be the hottest person here."
There's Hen, who shakes his hand and gives him a tour of the station. She's genuine and humorous and welcoming, and immediately puts him at ease.
Then there's Buck, who spends their first shift together acting ridiculously macho, which sort of pisses Eddie off. He's had his fair share of men like that in the army, always ready to flex their muscles and poke at others. But first impressions don't count, at least not with Buck, because at the end of the week, he's all sweet smiles and kind touches, exuding the energy of a happy golden retriever.
Even then, he hadn't expected to be a part of this family quite so fast, but at the end of the week, it was as if he'd been there forever.
So on his fourth shift, exactly one week after his first one, he isn't surprised to hear Buck bounding up the stairs.
"Guys, it's Eddie's one week anniversary here! We've got to celebrate," he says, out of breath.
"It's alright, I don't really need a celebration or anything. I'm sure we'll have plenty of chances to," Eddie replies, cheeks flushing. He isn't used to having so much attention on him.
"Nope, we are definitely celebrating. C'mon, we'll order cupcakes," Hen says, as she walks over to the dining table.
"We always celebrate, Eddie, life's too short not to," Chim adds, gesturing to his forehead. "Did I tell you about the time I almost died?"
Buck groans as Chimney launches into the story (admittedly an impressive story, if you ask Eddie) about the rebar that got stuck in the middle of his forehead. He even lets Eddie touch his scar.
Later, when he's full from Bobby's cooking and the sugary cupcakes Hen bought, eyes closing from the sheer amount of food he ate, Chim walks up to the sofa.
"So, how's your first week here been? Liking the job so far?"
Eddie grins. "Like might be an understatement," he says, "it's been great. I'm lucky to be here."
"I get it, man, the 118 is a special breed," Chim nods.
"Hey, Eddie, Chim, get over here. We're taking a picture," Bobby interrupts, "to commemorate Eddie's first week here."
Eddie frames it and hangs it next to his cupboard.
-
The Hot Firefighter Calendar debacle stirs the entire station into a frenzy. Buck has obviously been waiting for it all year, and somehow coerces Eddie into doing it too.
"I'd sent in some pictures last year," pouts Buck, "but they gave it to another guy instead." Eddie wants to point out how ridiculous the whole idea is, but Buck pleads with him, and he can't say no.
So he sends in a few pictures - some shirtless, some not. He tries different lightings, different settings, different angles, because if he's going to submit his entry, it might as well be a good entry.
For charity, Buck says, showing Eddie his own pictures on his phone.
When Bobby comes in and cryptically congratulates them, Buck immediately assumes Eddie had the honor of being crowned 'hottest man of the 118', as he so gracefully termed it. Eddie isn't expecting it, but he isn't against it either.
Until he finds out that neither of them won.
Chim is surprised - they're all surprised - to see Chim, of all people, in full colour for April. "I didn't even submit anything," he puzzles.
"I thought you were running for it," Eddie says, curious.
"Nah, I was just kidding. I didn't think someone like me stood a chance against you two hotshots," Chim says, still staring at the calendar.
"Don't sell yourself short like that." It's Hen who says it. "We could use all the minority representation we can get."
"Well, I definitely didn't win because I'm a minority or whatever, I won because I'm one hot-ass firefighter." Chim gloats, making Hen groan, but drawing a laugh from everyone else.
After some negotiating, they find it's Hen who submitted the picture of Chim carrying a puppy out of a fire ("it's not fair," Buck had whined, "how were we supposed to compete with that?"). Eddie's surprised, needless to say, because Hen had been more than clear on her thoughts about the calendar.
"It made him feel better. Things haven't been great for him lately, and I thought he could use a little pick-me-up," she tells Eddie, while Buck is hanging off Chim, clapping him on the back and laughing.
"That's really nice of you," Eddie says, feeling the edges of his mouth lift.
"Well, he's my partner and best friend. Can't have him moping around forever," she laughs, but Eddie knows exactly how much she cares about him.
Chim gives him a copy of the calendar, and says "I'm sure you were the runner-up," with a ridiculously wide smile on his face. It's a ridiculous calendar, but Eddie accepts graciously.
"It'll be April all year round," he jokes.
It sits on his dresser. He doesn't use it, isn't ready to have a calendar like that open and in use for all the world to see, but it's a nice reminder of just how much the 118 cares.
-
Chris' birthday rolls around, and Chris invites Harry and Denny, so Eddie invites the rest of the team around too. Doesn't hurt to have a few extra pairs of adult eyes when there are ten giggling kids running around the house.
He's surprised when the doorbell rings. He's still trying to clean - he'd been procrastinating that and is currently paying the price.
He doesn't even get to the door when it opens, and Buck walks in, a gigantic box under his arm.
"Hey, Eddie." He says this so nonchalantly that Eddie's confused.
"It's three-thirty," Eddie replies, checking his watch.
"So?" Buck says.
"The party starts at five."
"I wouldn't pass up on an opportunity to spend more time with you guys, would I? Where's the birthday boy?" He says, raising his voice just enough for Chris to hear.
"Buck?" Chris' voice echoes down the hallway, from where he's cleaning his room. Soon enough, Chris is making his way over, and immediately taking notice of the present.
"What did you get me?" He asks excitedly.
"It's a secret," Buck says, bringing a finger up to his lips. "You can open it later, when everyone else is here."
Chris cheers, hugging Buck's waist. It's an adorable sight that makes Eddie's heart melt.
"Are you done cleaning your room?" Eddie asks. He doesn't mean to break up the moment, but they really need to finish packing up. Chris hasn't washed up yet, and Eddie knows that he'll have to spend at least half an hour making both of them presentable.
Chris pouts a little, but goes off to clean.
Buck puts his present at the corner of the living room - that reminds Eddie, he needs to add his present to the rest - and dumps five bags of chips on the dining table.
"I'll help you with the decorations," Buck says, "just tell me what to do."
They manage to get everything set up in record time, leaving just enough for Eddie to help Chris style his hair. When they exit the bathroom, it's to the sound of Buck talking.
"Yup, Eddie's just getting ready, I'm sure he'll be out in a while. You could come in and wait, if you want to say hi," Buck says.
"Oh, that won't be necessary," a feminine voice says, "it's nice meeting you."
There's the sound of the door closing, and then Buck calls out, "Chris! Your friend's here!"
Once they're both off and playing with legos, Buck turns to Eddie and says, "Katie, his mom, says hi."
Eddie groans. "She's been flirting with me for ages now. You'd think that being married would stop her, but it sure doesn't."
"Poor kid," Buck snickers.
As his guests show up, a mix of parents dropping Chris' classmates off and members of the 118, the quiet, empty house fills up with noise and joy. He hadn't hosted a party at a house that was completely his own before, and he's starting to understand why people like having friends over.
Bobby and Athena bring two bottles of wine, and Eddie sips from his glass as Athena recounts something that May said about high school.
High school feels like a lifetime ago. He's always felt that he'd grown up too fast, been thrust into a world that he wasn't prepared for, and he would have done anything to turn back time and rewrite his life. But sitting there, knowing everyone there has his back, Eddie realises that there's nowhere he would rather be.
It's a revelation that almost brings him to tears. One of these days, he'll have to show everyone else just how much they mean to him.
He catches Buck's eye from across the table, and Buck offers a smile.
Too soon, it's nearing the end of the night. Everyone gathers in the living room, watching as Chris unwraps his presents one by one. He can feel Buck thrumming with energy next to him.
Right before Chris gets to Buck's present, Buck leans in and says, "I got him that astronaut lego set, the one that he's been wanting for a while."
Chris' cheer when he realises what it is makes Buck light up even more.
"Thank you, Buck! It's the best present ever!" Chris says, as Buck hoists him up.
"No problem, buddy," Buck's eyes are sparkling with joy.
Before the night ends, Hen approaches him. "Karen and I brought something for you," she says, passing him a small package. It's rectangular and flat, but unexpectedly heavy.
Eddie turns it over in his hands a few times, and Hen prompts him to open it.
It's a small painting of a vase of sunflowers - not quite van Gogh's sunflowers, but vibrant nonetheless. The yellows and browns shine against the deeper green background, a beautiful contrast that frankly, kind of reminds him of Hen.
"Karen painted it," she says, gesturing to her wife. Karen waves. "She said that since you didn't have a real housewarming party, we should give you a housewarming gift this time."
He smiles and wraps her in a hug, and remembers to thank Karen.
After everyone streams out, he, Chris and Buck are left. It's nearing eleven, and Chris' head is drooping against Buck's shoulder, where they're sitting on the sofa.
"I'll put him to bed," Buck says, "then I'll come help you clean up."
Eddie's grateful. He's absolutely dead on his feet, and could really use the help.
They pack up in relative silence, save for Buck occasionally asking where things are supposed to go. When he sees the painting, he holds it up and says, "woah, dude, nice painting."
"Yeah, Karen painted it," Eddie replies. "I'm gonna hang it up somewhere."
"It's really pretty," he says. Eddie agrees.
In the morning, he sticks a hook on his bedroom wall and puts it up.
It hangs next to the window.
-
His Christmas starts like this:
"Chris, I'm gonna be working on the 25th."
"But it's Christmas. You can't work on Christmas, it's illegal."
"It's not illegal, and you get to spend time with abuela! Don't you want to spend Christmas with her? I'll be home at night, and we can celebrate together."
"I want to spend the whole Christmas with both you and abuela. It's not fair," Chris pouts, before marching off to his room.
They'd spent every Christmas together since Eddie got back, and Eddie hated the thought of not getting to spend the entirety of Christmas day with him.
Three days later, Chris asks Buck, "can I spend Christmas with you?"
Buck's panicked glance is enough to tell Eddie how he feels.
"Sorry, buddy, but I'm going to be working with your dad." Eddie can feel the palpable disappointment radiating off Buck.
"Stupid work." Stupid work indeed, Eddie thinks.
So when he hops off the truck at the end of a call to the smell of home-cooked food and the sound of lively chatter, his heart lifts. It soars when he sees Chris and abuela there. It's a Christmas miracle, he thinks.
Around him, the sound of families celebrating being able to spend Christmas together warms his heart. It's sweet like caramel, and he looks over at Buck, who's smiling at the scene. He'd spent so much time dreading this shift, but maybe it wasn't so bad, getting to spend it with the people he considered family.
"Buck called us in the morning, asked us to come," abuela says, waving at Buck. He grins and waves back. "He's a good boy."
"He is," Eddie says, before realising that might be a strange thing to say about one's coworker.
They have lunch together, a feast of turkey and vegetables and delicious sauces and stuffings. Buck's on his right, and Chris is sandwiched between him and abuela on his left.
Athena's cooking is heavenly, as always, and Eddie's shirt feels that much tighter after he's done. He leans back, groaning.
"Dad, can I play with that?" Chris points to the pinball machine, bouncing in his chair.
"Sure," Eddie says. He's in too good of a mood today, Chris could ask him anything and he couldn't refuse. As he stands, Buck taps him lightly on the wrist, and says, "you distract him for a bit, I've gotta get his present."
Eddie's jaw drops a little. Of course Buck bought him a present, he wouldn't give up an opportunity to spoil Chris.
So while Eddie's helping Chris absolutely destroy the highscore on the machine, Buck saunters open with a huge wrapped box for Chris, and abuela smiles at him approvingly.
Buck smiles at Eddie, as Chris tears open the wrapping paper to reveal a remote-controlled toy car.
"Thank you, Buck," Eddie says, as if the three words were enough to express what he felt.
On new year's day, Bobby gives out framed, printed photos from the Christmas party, of everyone gathered together. It sits perfectly on Eddie's dresser, next to the one from his one-week-anniversary.
-
Eddie comes home after a long, grueling twenty-four hour shift to the sounds of giggling coming from the kitchen. Something smells wonderful, a garlicky flavour wafting through the air.
He sticks his head into the doorway of the kitchen, and says, "hey guys."
"Dad!" Chris stands from his chair, and wraps Eddie up in a hug.
That's one thing Eddie will never grow tired of - coming home to Chris, happy to see his dad. He knows that once Chris hits his teens, things are gonna change, but for now, he's going to savour it.
Buck's standing at the stove, spatula in hand, and he offers Eddie a wave.
"Buck brought me to the fair today!"
"Did he? Did you have fun?" Eddie's acting as though he didn't spend his shift staring at the ridiculous number of photos Buck sent.
"I had so much fun!" Chris cheers, and immediately rattles on about the rides they went on. "We went on the ferris wheel and bumper cars, and we tried to go on another ride but they said Buck was too tall!" Chris bursts into laughter, which makes Buck chuckle.
"Alright, alright, dinner's almost ready," Buck says, giving the pot a stir. "Go wash your hands." He pats the back of Chris' head, who smiles at him and goes off.
"Had fun, huh?" Eddie says, leaning against the doorframe.
"Sure did!" Buck says cheerfully.
"Even if you were too tall?"
"Dude!" Buck says, feigning offence. Eddie just laughs, and helps him set the table.
They're seated, and digging into the stir-fried chicken and garlic bread (an odd combination, but it tastes amazing), when Chris starts talking about their day at the fair.
"We went and played games and ate cotton candy and waffles and ice cream! Then we went to walk along the seaside and I saw seagulls, right, Buck?"
"Mhm," he replies, around a mouthful of food.
"Buck's good at the games," Chris continues, "he even won a few prizes!"
"I'm not as good as you, buddy. How 'bout you show your dad your teddy bear?"
Chris frowns. "I thought we said it was for dad?"
Buck looks between the two of them, before carefully saying, "only if your dad wants it."
"You want it, don't you, dad?" Chris asks. Eddie nods, because, well, he has to.
"Buck says we give presents to people we love. He wants to give the teddy bear to you." Chris pouts, clearly unimpressed by their responses.
Across the table, Buck blushes furiously.
Eddie wants to laugh. Now's a good a time as any, right?
"Well, if Buck loves me as much as he says, let's go out sometime."
Buck chokes. "Like on a date?"
"Yes, Buckley, on a date."
Chris cheers.
Later, when Chris is in bed, Buck passes him the stuffed bear, not quite meeting his eyes.
"Can't believe you asked me out in front of your kid," he mutters.
Eddie laughs. "Get used to it."
The bear sits on his nightstand, a promise of things to come.