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Ted did not have his heart broken. Ever. He broke other people's hearts, sure, but his own was fine. Or so he thought.
Her name was Heather. She was nearly twenty years older than him - which, Ted was 26, it was fine - and had been married for fifteen years. Ted tended to screw around with married women, but he usually didn't get too involved - there was inevitably a husband who shouldn't know about him. But Heather had kept inviting him round for dinner and for the night, and suddenly it had been two years. And then one night he'd walked in, less than a minute late, and her husband was sitting there waiting for him. Ted wasn't sure why he had walked out of there with a bloodied lip and nothing more, but he appreciated it. He did, however, feel kind of hurt.
He narrated this whole story to Paul over lunch. Paul, for his part, looked like he regretted asking about the bloodied lip, but damn, Ted needed to talk and he'd asked.
"Well, you knew she was married, right? Maybe you shouldn't sleep with a married woman." Paul sounded like he regretted every choice that led him here.
Ted scoffed. "Married women and single men, preferably at the same time." He winked. "How was I to know she was gonna tell her husband? I mean, what the fuck? She could've told me to get the fuck out, that's fine, I can respect that, but just telling me to show up and have her husband meet me instead? Damn." Ted shook his head. "She broke my heart, Paul, and I didn't even like her!"
"Well, they say heartbreak really fucks with you." Paul shrugged. "Maybe you do like her and you're just denying it? Either way, you knew what you were getting into."
"You're a terrible friend," Ted muttered. "Hey, you're going to Beanie's, right? You always go after lunch. Get me a chai iced tea and I'll pretend like you weren't bad at this."
"Okay." Paul stood and walked away awkwardly, leaving Ted alone.
He forgot his damn chai iced tea.