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Michael is someone who feels invisible. He is a cool guy who gets along pretty well with most everyone, even the people who used to bully him. But really, Jeremy is his only friend. If he wants to go to the mall or play video games with someone, it’s Jeremy. He’ll hang out with the others, Jeremy’s friends,but they don’t really need him around.
Michael asked out this one guy once, they shared some classes and common interests and Michael asked him out after school. They went on one date that Michael meticulously planned- out to dinner then a walk through the aquarium, ending with getting self serve frozen yogurt. Michael thought it was going beautifully until, scraping the remaining frozen yogurt from the container, his date told him that while “he was flattered”, he was also interested in someone else and not in dating Michael. Michael left him amiably, but went back to his room and cried. Why would someone agree to a date if they weren’t even interested? Michael though, did I pressure him? Was he just looking for a way out the entire night? Michael didn’t need this kind of heart break in addition to the stress of AP Chemistry so he took an oath to not get his hopes up about anything romantic unless they made the first move.
He took his long-standing crush on Jeremy and put it in a tiny box which he filed deep in the back of his mind. It would emerge every once and a while when Michael was day dreaming about a future life with a boyfriend and an apartment.. who happened to look and sound like Jeremy. He’d never let it break up their bromance or stop him from dating someone. Like Christine. Who Jeremy had asked out but has completely chickened out on taking anywhere.
Now they were both sitting in the mall food court, eating slices of pizza at the usual spot. Michael had already finished his pepperoni and mushroom slice and was sipping on some coke, while Jeremy had barely touched his cheese pizza. Jeremy never got toppings on his pizza, he claimed because he was a pizza purist, but Michael just thought he was too afraid to branch out and try new toppings. He’d never mention it though, bros don’t make fun of each other’s eating habits.
Michael is just looking at his phone when Jeremy asks him, “Michael, how do you know you like someone?” Michael takes a second to shake off his surprise and respond.
“Uh, I don’t know dude. Just feel it? Why even ask me?” Michael asked in a way he hoped didn’t sound desperate. His face must be turning so red, he thought.
If Jeremy noticed, he hid it well because he just continued nonchalantly, “You’re the only one of both of us who has been on a date.” Jeremy’s eyes wander off into the crowds of the mall, “I guess I’ve just been rethinking... and figuring some stuff out.”
Michael had told Jeremy that the date happened, and it was going nicely but they just weren’t right. Jeremy thought that Michael knew more about dating? Because of one date that was more “two people in the same place” than anything else.
“Well, that was just one date with some guy. You’ve been crushing on Christine far longer and you’ll be on that date soon enough.” Michael spoke in his best supportive friend voice.
“That’s the thing,” Jeremy turned back to Michael and looked into his eyes, “I don’t think I like Christine anymore. I’m feeling... like I might not be straight.”
Michael had to remind himself to breath and remind himself of his rule not to get his hopes up. But it was too late for the latter. He started analyzing everything. Jeremy had asked him to hang out today. Jeremy has been looking a little out of it. Jeremy has barely touched his food. Jeremy is looking deeply with his eyes. Michael was letting his hopes get to dangerous levels. He had to get this under control. “Woah dude, I’m so glad you could tell me this. Is there... a reason you think you’re not straight?”
Jeremy looked to his hands as he started to fidget in his chair. “There might be... a guy. But I’m just worried,” Jeremy looked back at Michael, who hadn’t taken his eyes off Jeremy. “That I might ruin our friendship if I tell them.”
Michael’s heart was beating so hard. All his rules were out the window as he softly spoke, “If it were me Jer, I’d want to know. I’d probably confess right back.” He them quickly added, “And even if they didn’t, it probably wouldn’t ruin anything. You’ll never know.” Of course that last part was advice he could dish but could never take.
Jeremy sat quiet for a moment as he internalized what Michael had said and then smiled. “Michael, you’re so right.”
Michael was sitting perfectly still, while his heart was beating rapidly. He was so ready for Jeremy to ask him out. In a few short minutes he felt the world open up. He doesn’t know what he’s gonna say to respond-
“I’m gonna ask Rich out when I see him on Monday. I don’t want to do it via text and weird him out. I was thinking of that movie-“ Jeremy continued to drone on about Rich but he was looking through Michael and not at him anymore. If Jeremy could look at Michael he would see that Michael’s heart began to ache and he looked blankly as he held back tears.
When Michael got back home that night he cried. How did he delude himself? Jeremy, like everyone else saw him as at most a friend, but just a nobody. Just invisible.