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As the credits play at the end of the movie, Artemis huffed. This was supposed to be a team bonding exercise, showing each other their favourite movies. Even Roy had showed up to join tonight. Though that could be just because it was a certain speedy dumbasses birthday tomorrow.
Yet, Artemis hadn’t been able to focus on anything, with the two love-sick dumbasses pining at each other. And of course, she had to sit behind them, so every time one of them glanced at the other, she noticed. And to think one of them was supposed to be a ninja. With those ‘sneaking’ skills, a blind person would notice.
It was frustrating to watch. Especially as the other members of her team noticed, even Superboy, who was usually too dense to spot stuff like this. Artemis just wanted them to get together, so all of this would stop, and they could get on with their day. Unfortunately, the two were just as dense as they were horrible at hiding their feelings for the other.
The only problem was how could they get them together? The few times they had tried, Robin and Wally had either taken it as ‘friends’ or just straight up not understood.
Maybe she could lock them in a closet? Though one can phase through walls, and the other picks locks for fun, so that probably wouldn’t work…
Artemis glanced over towards M’gann. If she was really going to do this though, she would definitely need backup. ‘M’gann?’ Artemis called out mentally, hoping she would hear her.
M’gann slowly turned to her, ‘is everything okay?’
‘It’s fine, I just need some help to finally get those lovestruck idiots together before I go insane.’
M’gann’s eyes flickered over to Robin and Wally, before she let out a mental squeal. ‘Oh, yes. What were you thinking?’
Artemis shrugged. ‘I don’t know, I thought about locking them in a closet, but both could probably get out easily, so I figured I would ask for help.’
‘Okay, establishing mindlink now.’
‘What is wrong?’ Kaldur immediately asked once the mindlink went up.
Artemis sighed, but quickly explained, glad when the two seemed none of the wiser.
‘Isn’t that invading their private life?’
‘Do you really want to keep watching this?’ Roy cut in, nodding over at the two.
‘What’s the plan?’
‘No idea,’ Artemis admitted. ‘Anyone have any ideas?’
They started discussing it a bit, but none of them had any good ideas, except for just yelling ‘you like each other, now kiss’.
Until… ‘Isn’t it Wally’s birthday tomorrow?’ Roy asked with a mischievous grin.
‘Well, yeah…’
‘And every birthday boy needs a gift…’
Artemis grinned, really hoping this was going where she thought it was.
‘Wally would probably just love to get a present in bed,’ Roy finished.
Artemis grinned, because yeah, that is definitely where she thought it was going.
‘Are you saying we should give Robin to Wally as a gift?’ Zatanna clarified.
Roy grinned at her, before sighing. ‘We do have a problem though, Robin is a pretty light sleeper and Wally actually needs to be asleep.’
‘Oh, I can get baywatch to bed,’ Artemis reassured her.
‘I can do a sleep spell, if that’s not taking it too far?’ Zatanna offered.
‘Sounds good.’
“Hey, Baywatch, go to bed,” Artemis called out.
“Why should I? We haven’t gotten to watch my favourite movie yet?”
“You don’t want tomorrow’s surprise to be spoiled for you, do you?”
Wally’s eyes lit up, at the mention of a surprise. “Okay, goodnight then,” Wally told them, and speed off. Just as Artemis knew he would.
However, when Artemis looked back at the rest of them, Robin was frowning at her. “We didn’t have anything like that planned, did we?”
“I’m sorry,” Zatanna said, walking up to him.
“About what--”
“Ekam nibor llaf otni a peed peels,” she incanted, and Robin froze, clearly fighting against the spell, but he failed and his body slumped over into a deep sleep. Guilt seeped through Artemis as Robin collapsed back into the sofa, fast asleep. But this was for his own good, and he would thank them tomorrow.
‘It should work. But we should probably talk mentally, just in case,’ Zatanna said, eyeing Robin worriedly.
As they were worrying what they should do now, M’gann came back in. ‘When did you leave?’ Roy questioned confused.
She lifted up a roll of ribbon. ‘Presents need a bow.’
They all grinned at each other. Before M’gann used her powers to lift Robin up. Grabbing a piece of ribbon, Artemis helped Roy in wrapping it around them.
After they were done, Arremis stepped back to check their work, however Roy moved closer and slipped his fingers between all the places they had tied Robin. It took a second to long for Artemis to realise he was checking to ensure the ribbon wasn’t too tight. ‘Something's missing,’ Roy mused after taking a step back and admiring their handy work.
‘Don’t gifts come with cards?’ Conner questioned.
‘Conner, you’re a genius,’ Artemis grinned and rushed to her room. She grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, before coming back to the living room.
‘What should I write?’ While waiting for them to come up with anything good, she folded the paper in half and wrote ‘Wally’ on the front.
‘Something about how Robin liked him back, and he needed to just talk to the idiot as the only one of them able to talk feelings,’ Roy offered.
Artemis hummed and quickly penned something down, before showing them.
They all agreed and headed to Wally’s room. As they entered, Zatanna whispered another spell to make sure Wally stayed asleep until the morning.
Once they were sure Wally would stay asleep, they slipped into the room. Crowding around his bed where M’gann carefully laid down Robin. It was Roy who shifted them into place, wrapping Wally’s arm around Robin and laying the card down in Robin’s arms.
After double checking their work, they left, grinning at each other.
---
Wally slowly woke up, trying desperately to cling to his sleep. He was having the best dream of him and Dick together. They were just watching a movie, but they were snuggled up together, Dick lying in his arms and grinning up at him.
But the dream kept slipping away, and he was forced to wake up. Groaning, Wally clung harder to his pillow, he didn’t want to have to get up and go to school…
Wait, he didn’t have school today, it was his birthday!
Suddenly wide awake, Wally moved to get up, before pausing, because something was on top of him. Something a lot heavier than his doona.
Out of everything he was expecting, the sight of Dick fast asleep and wrapped in pink ribbon while he used Wally’s arm as a pillow was definitely not it. Wally took a second to smile, because Dick looked so cute and peaceful like this. And maybe he really did just like the feeling of Dick snuggling into him.
Way too slowly, Wally realised there was a card near Dick’s arms with his name on it. Carefully, so as not to disturb Dick, he picked up the card and opened it.
Dear Wally,
Happy Birthday and ask the bird out. He likes you just as much, and we all know Bats suck at feelings.
Love, the team (plus Roy)
Was it really that obvious? And why the hell did everyone else think that his feelings were returned?
Before he got distracted by Dick groaning. Wally shifted to look at him, smiling at how good Dick sounded. Then the mask that he had insisted on wearing because it was more comfortable than sunglasses when he was supposed to be sleeping, opened.
“Wally?” Dick questioned, and Wally hummed, not trusting his own voice. “Why am I tied up?” And as if to prove his point, he moved as best as he could.
“The team apparently got you as my birthday gift,” Wally said, feeling completely ridiculous saying that outloud.
Dick stared at him in confusion, and Wally realised his hands were moving to try to figure him out. So Wally quickly used his powers to untie him. When he was free, Dick reached up and took off his mask, showing his gorgeous blue eyes.
“What?” Dick finally questioned.
Wally flushed, and not wanting to repeat it, handed over the card. Dick read it, his cheeks slowly heating up.
“Do you really like me?”
“I do,” Wally agreed, and emboldened by the small grin on Dick’s face at his words, he continued, “do you want to be my boyfriend?”
“I really do,” Dick admitted softly, grinning.
They grinned at each other for a second, before Dick grinned, and curled back up on the bed. “I’m tired, and your bed is comfy,” Dick whispered in explanation.
Wally grinned, that was the best idea he had heard and cuddled back in, wrapping his arms back around Dick.
---
“Uh, we should get up,” Dick huffed some time later.
“Yeah, I’m kind of hungry,” Wally murmured. Causing Dick to laugh, and grin back at him, before he forced himself up.
“Well then, we don’t want you to wither away,” Dick joked.
When they reached the living room, they found all their team mates waiting. Conner was the first to notice them, his eyes dropping down to where their hands were held together.
“Congrats,” he told them.
M’gann squealed eagerly, and came up to them, “what happened, how did it go?”
“Finally, you two were unbelievable together,” Artemis commented at the same time, while Roy smirked behind her.
“Thanks, it was the best birthday present ever,” Wally told them, grinning over at Dick. Who grinned right back.
And if, about a week later Wally helped Dick get back at them, then no one needed to know.