Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hi everyone!

Before you guys read this fanfiction, there’s a couple things you should know about the plot line. You don’t have to read this, as it will be explained during the fanfic eventually but I thought I should give you the option to fully understand.

As you may or may not have read in the tags this is an alternative universe fanfic, but mostly in the way there are different tiers of ability users that to up to god tier ability users.

God tier ability users are people with coloured eyes, and are immortal. In this au Chuuya, dazai, fyodor, love craft, and Chuuya’s mom, and odasaku are all god tier ability users.

On a god tier ability users 18th birthday they get sent back 10,000 years( not that it’s too relevant since this whole fanfic is set in the current timeline other then the odd flashback) and then they just live till they overlap with their 18th birthday again.

Every god tier ability user has certain circumstances that will lead to their death such as corruption for Chuuya and getting destroyed from the inside for love craft. I can’t really reveal anybody else’s without spoiling some of the plot so I’ll leave it at that.

The last part is the fact that when a god tier ability user dies they can make the choice to either immediately get replaced with a 3 month old baby in the spot where they died, or somewhere randomly in the world someone’s baby will be born as a god tier ability user.

Not that it’s too relevant but dazais eyes are purple In this au except he wears brown contacts to hide it. Only god tier ability users can have rainbow coloured eyes in the au so it’s a dead give away.
In the au chuuya has a mom, but basically both of them were experimented on instead of just him.

Atsushi and Aktugawa are 16 in this, dazai and chuuya are 24( or that’s what they tell people) and Kyoka is 10. Everyone else is pretty much the same age.

I’ll probably just be updating this when I have the time. I hope you all enjoy this fanfic

EDIT: I AM CURRENTLY EDITING THIS FIC
SO THINGS MAY CHANGE SLIGHTLY TO ANY REREADERS.

Chapter Text

At the agency there were people who would walk in and out and nobody ever really gave it much thought, seeing as they are a detectives agency and all.

Yet one day that changed. One day it was different. On that day a woman with long red curls all the way down to her upper thigh walked in, everyone was curious. Not because of her beauty or fancy outfit, but because she was asking to see Dazai Osamu.

After the shock wore off Kunikida did what he does best. He immediately went into overdrive about the rules of the agency.

“We are not able to disclose if any of our agency members are in the building due to privacy and danger, so we are going to have to ask you to leave. I’m sorry.” Said kunikida while respectfully bowing to the woman.

She sighed heavily, and straightened out her black dress. “he knows I’m coming, we have a lunch date.” She said as sweetly as possibly, but her annoyance with the situation was clear to everyone in the room.

Kunikida had confusion written all over his face, just like the majority of the employees. But after a moments thought his face quickly turned back into its normal look.

“He isn’t making you commit double suicide with him right?” He questioned with concern.His look of concern was quickly copied by Atsushi due to his gullibility.

The red haired young adult just laughed in reply. She took her sunglasses off which quickly brought attention to her eyes. They were bright pink.

“No he isn’t, I live in Europe and I’m visiting my son so I thought I’d drop in to check on my old friend.” The unidentified women says.

Kenji is quick to say what’s on his mind. “but you don’t look a day over 18.”

The women looks completely unbothered by the statement and simply reply’s with, “I’m much older thank I look.” She put Emphasis on much.

Kunikida didn’t give it too much thought, until he realized how strange her reaction was. So he started to join Kenjis questioning of the women. “How old are you then?”

She lets out a soft giggle at his boldness. “hasn’t anybody ever told you not to ask a women her age?” Kunikidas eyes widen and before anybody can even take a breath he’s bursting out with a line of apologies.

The women was about to tell him to stop apologizing when Kyoka spoke “She’s around 10100 years old.”

Everybody in the room turned to face her in confusion. Atsushi walked up to her and put his hand on Kyokas shoulder before speaking. “Thats not possible, she probably just moisturizes a lot or something.” Atsushi moves his body to look at the women again.

“I apologize for her outburst… she was in a dark place for a while and she’s only 10 so she has quite the imagination.” Says Kunikida with an awkward smile on his face. Atsushi gives a gentle squeeze to Kyokas shoulder In a attempt to comfort her due to Kunikidas words.

But Kyoka doesn’t stop there.

“You’re not chuuyas mom? But you have pink eyes.” Kyoka says, voice dripping with confusion. The woman smiles cutely to the girl and leans down to be level with Kyoka.

‘God tier ability users aren’t exactly common knowledge so it makes sense nobody else in the room knows’ thinks the woman.

“I am, I guess that would make you Kyoka then? I’ve heard absolutely wonderful things about you.” Said the now identified woman.

Kyoka smiled brightly, brighter than any smile the detectives had seen since she joined the ADA. “So you’re Ren?” She confirmed. Ren nodded in agreement.

Kyokas look of excitement faded when a question came to mind. “How do you know Dazai then? Haven’t you lived in Europe these past couple years?”The women’s smile faltered as she realized she didn’t come up with a cover story, but thankfully someone else came in to save her.

“Dazai used to be friends with the assassin who doesn’t kill, he met Chuuya and Chuuyas mom through him.” Said Ranpo without hesitation. If it didn’t click in the agency’s head before that they were speaking of the mafiasco, it definitely clicked after hearing Ranpos explanation.
Everyone in the rooms facial expressionChanged to a look of understanding, well all except Atsushi.

He looked unsure if he should ask but he felt the need to. “Who is the assassin who doesn’t kill?”

This time it wasn’t Ranpo who answered but it’s Tanizaki. “He was a low rank port mafia member around 6-9 years ago, he was known not only for not killing people, but for being friends with soukoku.”

The majority of the room flinched at the name, all but Ren, Kyoka, and Ranpo of course. But Tanizakis statement only confused Atsushi more. “Whats soukoku?” He asked hesitantly.

This time it was Rens turn to look confused. She doesn’t even need to ask since Kunikida explains before she got the chance to. “He lived in an orphanage and didn’t have contact with the outside world until a couple months ago, so he doesn’t know a lot of what has happened.”

The women nodded slowly in understanding, she decided to take it upon herself to tell the boy what soukoku is, seeing as her son and son-in-law are the two halves of the feared duo.

“well Atsushi, soukoku was a feared duo that was made up of my son and the demon prodigy, they were active for about 4 years and brought terror upon anybody who came in their path, but they haven’t been seen together for six years, due to the disappearance of the demon prodigy.”
Atsushi finally looks as though he is starting to get it.

Just as he was about to ask more questions about the so called demon prodigy there’s a loud door opening, and In came Dazai and Yosano talking excitedly about something. It took about five seconds for the two to realize how silent the room was.

Dazai immediately made eye contact with Ren, which lead to him checking the clock. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Ren “I’m early.”

Dazai smiled and walked up to her. She returned the smile and gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek.

She held his head In her hands and said” look how handsome you’ve gotten.” In a last ditch effort to prove his mortality. Ranpos face slid into a smirk at that. Dazai quickly went to his desk and grabbed his phone.

“We should probably head to la finibal if we want to make our reservation.” Said dazai as he linked arms with her. She nodded in agreement. The two immortal beings exited the room without another word spoken.

After the door closes it took five minutes for anybody to say something.

“What the actual fuck.” Whispers Kunikida.

Chapter Text

Dazais p.o.v. During the last chapter

The moment Dazai walked into the cafe below the armed detectives agency, he noticed Yosano sitting alone at a table working on her laptop. He went and ordered a coffee before sitting across from her.

“You look stressed.” Said Dazai knowingly. Not that Yosano knew how much dazai had already heard from the other party involved in what was causing her stress.

She finally looked up from her laptop with an exhausted look on her face, she simply sighed and nodded in agreement before looking back down onto her laptop.

Dazai kept staring at her eyes even though she wasn’t returning the act. He held up the eye-to-face contact for about 2 minutes before Yosano finally caved and turned her laptop off.

“What do you want Dazai?” Asked Yosano with a slight tinge of annoyance. Dazai raises his arms in surrender with a slight smirk.

He replies slowly with “nothing, I was just thinking about what could be causing you such stress, the agency has been pretty low key recently.”

She tapped the nails on her left hand rhythmically against the table as though she were playing a song. She raised her head to make direct eye contact only to see Dazais face waiting for a reply.

When she didn’t reply he just decided to continue his train of thought. “Though being honest, I have a pretty good feeling I know what’s causing the stress.”

Yosano’s emotionless face quickly changed to something that displayed her inner thoughts. Fear.

One of the few things that the members of the armed detectives agency were quick to learn about Dazai is when he says he has a feeling, he’s always right. So for Yosano to be on the receiving end of the statement, she felt her heart rate quicken. She had good reason for that to happen, due to her past.

Dazai lifted up his left hand to place it on his cheek as he waited for Yosano to speak, to confirm what he already knew.

“I’m In a relationship, with someone from an organization that we fight against. Their boss found out and I’m worried about what will happen.” She said as tears started swelling up in her eyes.

She continued. “we always said we wouldn’t let our relationship get in the way of our work, but with the guild and port Mafia stuff happening, it’s almost impossible for it not to get in the way. And I know what kind of person their boss is, he’s not the type to let something like a relationship happen.” The tears that once sat restlessly in her eyes finally spilled. “I just don’t know what to do Dazai… I’m not ready to give up on them when we’ve barely just begun but I can’t turn my back on the agency either. I hate being in this position. I hate it.”

Yosano sat looking at her hands as her thumbs twiddled like she were trying to fight a thumb war against herself. Dazai started to giggle a little bit, knowing something that she didn’t. He’s known for the ability to attempt suicide and not die, not for his ability to comfort people. In the end he has to try.

“Yosano, did she tell you directly that her boss said she wasn’t allowed to date a non-port mafia member?”questioned dazai, even though he already knew the answer.

She shook her head In reply. He took that as a sign to continue. “And did her boss tell you directly that she wasn’t allowed to date you?” She shook her head again.

“And did you hear from anybody else in the port mafia or even the armed detectives agency, that you weren’t allowed to date somebody from outside your organization?” She shook her head one last time, before her eyes widened.

“Dazai, I never said it was a women, or that she was in the port mafia.” Queried Yosano, as she feared she already knew what he would say next.

Dazai gave her a look that says ‘do you really think I’m that dumb’.

He made the decision to give a little backstory to what he was trying to say. “I know you’re dating Kouyou Ozaki, I saw you guys at a bar a month ago. You don’t need to worry because I haven’t told anyone, though I’m sure Ranpo has figured it out...” Yosanos breath hitches.” But I’m sure he hasn’t told anyone either, you can let the agency know when you’re ready.”

He waited a moment for Yosano to reply, before he realized he wasn’t going to get one. He sighed heavily before realizing what he would have to do to provide her with the comfort she needs.

“You don’t know this, but I handle all of the agency’s ties with other
organizations , meaning from time to time I will meet up with presidents, bosses, or employees of other organizations. I have already held a meeting with Mori about the two of you, and we made the choice the not put you two up against eachother in combat so you have nothing to worry about.” He says gently.

Yosanos face starts to reflect a whole bunch of emotions including, confusion, relief, and happiness. The confusion on her face becomes prominent as she questions him. “Why are you In charge of that.”

Dazai planned for many things but he didn’t plan for her to question him. He pondered for a second or two before deciding on a half truth.

“Well during my time at the agency, I’ve become quite well known in many of the organizations on this side of the word, due to the fact I’ve made allies for the agency during my travels. Word spreads fast and next thing you know, the president has appointed me head of communication with outer organizations.” He states with a smile on his face. Yosano doesn’t look quite convinced but she nods her head as though she is.

For a couple moments the two just sit in silence breathing in the coffee scented air, just enjoying the others company. Then Dazai checks his phone and realizes he has a lunch date with his mom(mother-in-law) and is supposed to meet her in five minutes outside the building.

“I’m going to have to cut this short, I have a lunch date.” He sung with a flirty wink.

Yosano rolled her eyes in response.” Let me guess, you asked her to commit double suicide with you?”

Dazai clutched his heart as though he felt an intense pain.” I would never, though she does have blinding vitality...” he says while trailing off about different suicide methods.

The two ex-mafiascos walked upstairs and were met with a room that was dead silent.

Chapter Text

The restaurant POV

The two immortal beings walked into the five star building. The taller of the two slightly pulled the women of short statures arm In what any passerby would see as excitement. As they neared the hostess’s table, their pace slowed down to present class.

“Good afternoon, do you have a reservation with us today?” Asked the woman with the tight brown pony tail.

“Yes, it should be under Nakahara.” Replied dazai with ease. The chocolate haired girl typed the name into the computer and found the name immediately. Her lips curved into a soft smile and her eyes crinkled at the two old friends.

“Right this way please.” Requested the women as she started to walk towards the balcony. The two follow In hot pursuit.

Once they reached the table, Dazai pulled out the seat for his self proclaimed mom before taking his own seat across from her.

The women who identified herself as Clarissa spoke softly to the duo.” I’m going to be your waitress this afternoon, is their any drinks or appetizers I can get you started on?” She inquired.

Before Dazai can even get the chance Ren orders for the both of them. “I’d like a glass of Petrus, and he’d like a glass of the Glenfiddich 40 year single malt whiskey. We don’t want any appetizers.” The women nods and looks at the male to confirm.

”Mothers, am I right?” He said while laughing softly, ren joined not long after. The waitress smiled oddly as though there were a joke she was missing, but politely took her leave.

When Clarissa was out of hearing, Rens whole demeanour changed. She smacked Dazais hand, and he harshly pulled it back as though it had been burned.

“you said you would tell Kyoka, that’s probably the first time the girls genuinely smiled in ages, the poor thing. Getting excited over something as simple as my presence.” Snapped Ren.

Dazai opened his mouth to reply but she cut him of before he got the chance. “She needs to know she’s not alone, when she was in the mafia everyone told her she was born to be an assassin, and now that she’s in the ADA everyone’s telling her she belongs in the light, she needs to hear it from someone who’s been through all that, that people can change.”

Dazai nods in agreement. He moves his arms so that they are no longer resting on the table.

“I want to tell her but what am I supposed to say ‘ hey Kyoka, by the way I’m the demon prodigy and chuuyas husband, and I never told you because I was scared’ or should I jump straight into it the next time she brings up how many people she’s killed, and tell her I’ve killed more?” Snapped Dazai.

Once he realized how rude he was he looked up at ren, but he was met with an unimpressed look.” I’m sorry, it’s just been stressing me out lately, everything has been piling up with Kyoka and we are trying to buy out the people In the apartment under us so we can renovate and let Kyoka move in with us, and that’s not to mention everything with the guild and port mafia right now.” Continued Dazai.

Ren nodded, happy with his apology.

The waitress Clarissa returned with their alcoholic beverages. She took their orders quickly before returning to the kitchen.

Ren sipped hers slowly, while Dazai practically pounded it back the moment Clarissa turned away.

As ren watched dazai wallow in his self pity about the whole Kyoka situation, she decided to give him a word of advice about it. “Dazai she’s not going to hate you just because you killed people, she’s done the same and she knows it’s not always by choice. She’ll just be happy to know she’s not alone in the way she’s feeling.” He nodded knowing she was right.

“you’re always right mom, I’ll tell her tomorow.” She smiled In return.

the two sat in a content silence until the waitress returned with their orders. “Your boeuf Bourguignon madame, and the coq a vin for you sir.” Said Clarissa with a cheery customer service smile. They thanked her and didn’t waste time to start eating their delicious meals.

“ I’m genuinely surprised you didn’t order canned crabs, or atleast a mackerel or something.” Laughed Ren.

Dazai rolled his eyes. “It’s not like they would sell either of those things here, you picked some fancy ass expensive restaurant, and your gonna make me pay.” Replied dazai easily.

Ren lets out a witch like cackle at his bluntness.”it’s just Karma for all those times you make kunikida, or some of the other armed detectives agency members pay for your stuff, and you can’t tell me it’s cause you can’t afford it.” Dazai lip curved up to a smile, before he realized he could still milk a little out of this.

“Shouldn’t a mom buy her lovely handsome son a nice dinner every once in a while.”he questioned genuinely, or atleast it would be perceived as such.

“ oh please, you have all your inheritance from your biological family, and your old bank account from you being an executive, and that’s not counting what chuuya makes every year.” Now it was Dazais turn to laugh out loud. They heard a loud cough.

“ I’m sorry to interrupt.” said the blushing waitress “but are you two finished your meals?”

Dazai answered quickly with yes and asked for a debit machine. Clarissa left to grab it. Ren leaned over the table towards Dazai and askedhim. “ do you think she thinks you have a mommy kink?”

Dazais eyes widened at the realization of how things probably looked for that poor waitress.” Oh my god, she totally does.” He said while gigging like a school girl.

When Clarissa returned with the check the two nod at eachother in silent agreement that they are about to make her think they are together.

“Did you two enjoy your lunch today?” Asked Clarissa kindly. Dazai moves his left hand from off of his lap and places it on rens.

“It was absolutely lovely, it’s for our two year anniversary.” Said dazai while winking at ren. She returned the favour by placing her hand on his face.

“Yes, and I had to reward him for being such a good boy.” Dazai leaned over and kissed her cheek before taking the check and paying. The two immortal beings held hands before exiting the restaurant. The moment they were out the door they start laughing hysterically.

~in the kitchen~

Clarissa peeked around the corner to look at the couple who was sitting on the balcony. The chef watched her from across the room in confusion. Once she realized she has someone watching her she sighed and explains.

“That man called his girlfriend mommy...Infront of me....twice.”

The kitchen rumbled with laughter.

Chapter Text

The ADA after dazai left.

“What the actual fuck.” Whispers kunikida in awe of what had just happened. Nobody else knew what to say. Except for yosano of course who just walked in on this. “What did I miss? Why is everyone being so weird?” Questioned yosano with and odd look on her face. Atsushi was the first to speak. “I think it was dazais girlfriend.” Yosanos face relaxed in understanding.”I already knew that. he said he had a date, but why is it so weird he has a girlfriend?” Kunikida looks as though she had just punched his mother. “ what do you mean! That lazy bandage wasting—-it’s not only that he managed to date her. she’s nakahara chuuya, the port mafias gravity manipulators mom!”

Yosano flinched at the mention of the port mafia. Dazai had finally convinced her that it was okay to tell the armed detectives agency about her relationship with kouyou, but now she was back to square one. She decided to play it cool though. “Why is that a problem?” She asks coolly. Kunikida and Atsushi raises their eyebrows in unison.” Shes 10100 years old” they say at the same time. Her heart rate slows back down again in relief.
So her being his mom isn’t the problem? It’s the age gap? So maybe they won’t care about kouyou and I? Thought yosano.

She realized that she still hadn’t replied so she said the first thing to come to mind. “That’s gross!” She basically yelled. The ADA looked taken aback from her sudden outburst.” I mean, I know he’s not a minor, it’s just a little weird don’t you think?” She asked quietly. Kunikia nodded.” I’m just surprised he managed to get someone to go out with him.” He said. Kenjis next statement quickly took to room by suprise. “ I thought he was gay, you city folk sure are confusing.” Kunikidas jaw dropped, along with Naomi, tanizaki, yosano, Atsushi, and Kyoka. Of course Ranpo just giggled Knowing all to well what kenji said was right.

“ why would you think he was gay?”asks Atsushi, the poster boy homosexual kid. Not that anyone told Atsushi they know, since he was trying to hard to hide it. But it’s kind of hard to not notice that he checked tanizaki out during the bombing incident. Which should’ve been concerning since as far as he had known, he was a bomber. Kenji shrugs. “I just had a feeling, he’s kind of flamboyant?” He said in an extremely cheery voice.” But I guess not if he had a girlfriend, I can’t believe she’s related to chuuya! He’s so cool! His hat stayed on while he was upside down.” He practically exploded with how cool chuuya apparently was.

After hearing how kenji felt about chuuya, Kyoka had a smile on her face.“ I think he’s cool too.” Agreed Kyoka. The two young kids share a look. Kunikida was going to give them a speech on how he’s in the mafia and a bad person but after seeing Kyoka smile so brightly twice in the same day, he decided to let her have the win.

Kyoka ended up telling a bunch of story’s from her time in the mafia, but not the bad ones, the good ones. She told them about how chuuya and kouyou took her to a theme park, and how kouyou and her had a girls day, and a bunch of things chuuya had done for her to make her feel more at home in the mafia. Kyoka got more and more excited with every story she told and at the end all she could say was.” I want a nap.” Which caused the room to fill with laughter. She didn’t wait for anyone to talk before she walked over to the couch and lied down. Once she was asleep Naomi put a blanket over her.

The group of detectives decided to go for a walk to go get crepes while Kyoka was sleeping, so that she could rest. Yosano decided to stay behind so that she wasn’t confused when she woke up. They were all having fun walking down the road to get their crepes, laughing and smiling. So when they say Dazai laughing and holding hands with Ren while walking towards them, none of them knew what facial expression to make.

Dazai and ren noticed the group fairly soon after Kunikidas realization, so the two immortals walked up to the group.
“Hey kunikida.” Said Dazai playfully. Kunikida immediately froze, and didn’t know what to say to the immortal women Infront of him. Thankfully ren took the agency’s silence as a goodbye.

“ it was lovely seeing you osamu, I’ll see you for brunch on Saturday.” She said before kissing his cheek and leaving. Once she was out of ear shot Dazai immediately started talking about the waitress and how he asked her to commit double suicide with him but she said no. Atsushi was confused by this. Isn’t that his girlfriend? Why is he asking other girls to commit double suicide? Thought Atsushi to himself. “Hey Dazai, who was that women?” Questioned Atsushi, who decided if no one else was gonna ask, he should. Dazai made a confused face.” My mother of course.” Before skipping off because he saw another candidate for a double suicide.

His statement once again left the agency is confused silence. Kunikida started mumbling to himself. Ranpo decided to explain a bit instead of leaving everyone in the dark, and totally not because he wanted praise. “Like Kyoka said, she’s 10100 years old. It’s not that unreasonable for her to have been a parent like figure to Dazai. Plus like I said earlier, they’ve known each other for a couple years due to odasaku. They’ve had lots of time to build a parent-son like relationship.” He said like it was simple knowledge. Kenji didn’t quite get it though. “Whose odasaku?” He inquired. Ranpo quickly realized his mistake and corrected it.” The assassin who doesn’t kill.” Kunikida realized It sounded like Ranpo knew the man too. “Ranpo, did you know the assassin who doesn’t kill too? You sound content talking about him.” Ranpo just smiled.” I guess you guys can do a bit of detective work, then again I did help you. Odasaku is actually how I met Dazai. Not that the back story’s important.”

Ranpo walked away right after that...just to come back a minute later because he can’t take the train alone. The agency went and got a crepe for Kyoka then headed back. The sight they were met with in the office was wholesome. Kyokas head was resting on yosanas lap as she played with her hair. Yosano had a visible smile on her face that the detectives found to be quite contagious.

Chapter Text

This is a bit of a time skip to a couple days in the future. Basically just a normal day in the office.

The armed detectives agency was quiet, due to the fact everyone other than Dazai, kunikida, yosano, Atsushi, and kyoka had left for lunch. The silence was broke by a question everyone had always been wondering, but had never asked. “Dazai, do you change your bandages?” Asks Atsushi. He knows Dazai won’t reply if he were to ask what were under them, but his answer may give him a hint. Dazais eyebrow raised in reply. “Of course I do? It’s like clothes. I change them In the morning, after work, and before bed.” He says as though it were the simplest thing ever.

Atsushi sat without speaking again for a couple moments before asking another question. “Do you wash them? Or just buy new ones?” Dazai pondered for a minute before answering the question.” Well it depends, the ones I wear at work I throw out at the end of my shift. The ones I wear in the afternoon at my apartment I use 2-3 days in a row since I don’t do any activity’s to make them dirty. The ones I sleep in I wash because they are meant to be reused.” Said Dazai in his flamboyant voice.

The statement caught everyone else’s attention. Kunikida was using his past as a math teacher(or just some one who has a sense of money) to add up how much he must spend annually on bandages. “So how much do you spend annually? Aren’t bandages like 7$ each? And you use more then one to cover your whole body?” Asks kunikida with concern. Dazai shrugs. “I’ve never really thought about it, I don’t keep track. If I had to guess I’d say about... 5,460 dollars on the ones I use for work. 1,560 on the ones I wear after work. And 10,000 on the ones I sleep in! So about 17 grand.”He says in a shockingly cheery voice.

Kunikida and the rest of the agency’s jaws drop in shock. Atsushi looked like he had just seen someone kick a puppy. “Think of all the tea on rice you could buy with that.”
Kyoka simply nods.” Or crepes.” She agrees. Kunikida still hasn’t said a word. He looked like he was about to but yosano snatched the opportunity to speak. “Why are the ones you sleep in so expensive?” She inquired, genuinely curious as to what the answer may be.

“Oh well I have four pairs that I reuse, they were each 2500 dollars cause they are name brand.” Replied Dazai. Yosano sighed, unhappy with the given answer. “What brand is that expensive? Life brand is like 10 bucks.” Said yosano, who was now convinced Dazai was lying. “They are custom made, you can’t buy them in stores. They are Prada and haven’t you heard the saying The devil wears prada?” Said Dazai lazily as he laid down on the couch. He smirks contently at the joke ya just made, not that any of them would get it. ( the devil- the demon prodigy)

Kunikida now took his opportunity to speak.” You waste of bandages!! No wonder you make us all buy you
Food, you spend that much of your salary on something you don’t even need!” Yelled kunikida while choking him. Dazai grabbed Kunikidas hand and said,” i don’t spend my salary on them.” Kunikida dropped his neck in confusion.”What?” The taller man questioned.

“I spend the money I made from my previous profession, obviously.” Corrected Dazai. Yosano rolled her eyes at him. “If you even had one.” She said while laughing a bit. Kyoka made a confused face. “ do you guys not know his previous profession?” Questioned kyoka. “No, it’s one of the seven mystery’s of the armed detectives agency, right along with what’s under dazais bandages.” Answered kunikida.

“ when I first joined the agency they made me guess everyone’s past professions,I got everyone’s except dazais. They even had a reward for if someone guessed correctly.” Said Atsushi to kyoka. Which causes kyoka to turn and look at Dazai. Yosano sat down on the couch with Dazai. “Why don’t you guess our past professions Kyoka?” Asked yosano.

Kyoka looked at kunikida.”you were a teacher, you’re good at teaching Atsushi and I things.” She then looked at the ceiling. “Tanizaki and Naomi are students, but I already got told that. I assume Ranpo has always been a detective. Kenji probably didn’t have a past job due to his age and attitude.” She then turned to face the ex-mafioscos seated across from her on the couch.

“Yosano, I think was a military doctor. You can see behind her eyes she’s seen death.” Kyokas attention was them directed at Dazai. She gets caught. She looks him up and down and gets caught on his fingers, she watches as his fingers tap. A decision is made, she’s gonna take a chance. “You were a pianist.” Stated kyoka with false confidence. She made eye contact with him.

Dazai claps his hands.” I was, but that wasn’t my profession, just something to pass the time.” Says Dazai with a clear tone and facial expression of being impressed. Kyoka sighs heavily. “But nobody has ever guessed anything about my past so I guess I should give you something.” Admitted the bandaged Man.

He got up and walked over to his desk, the group of four following a couple feet behind. He sticks his hand into his drawer and pulls something out. A raccoon plushie. Kyokas face lights up as Dazai tosses it into her arms.

“What are you gonna name them?” Asks yosano, who’s smiling at the sight of the child Infront of her. Kyoka thinks for a moment before replying.” Karl!” She yells happily. Dazai breaks out laughing. Kyoka makes a questionable face. “Why are you laughing?” Asked Kyoka. Dazai just shakes his head in disbelief. “ a friend of mine has a pet raccoon named Karl.” Laughed Dazai. “ you should tell Ranpo, I’m sure he’d love the name.” Which caused him to laugh more, knowing that Ranpo is jealous of Karl.

The group of detectives chat until the rest of the people come back. Dazais previous profession is left unknown, but they know one thing for certain. He’s Spends a shit ton of money on bandages.

Chapter Text

Kyoka sits up abruptly in her bed for the thousandth time, waking from the never ending nightmares. She waited and tried to breath silently to see if Atsushi had woken up. After waiting a couple minutes, she realized he wasn’t getting up so she put her shoes on and left the dorm room.

When she walked outside she checked her phone and read the time. 2:37am. She sighed heavier then anyone her age should. It was extremely dark other than a small light by the stairs so she went over and sat on them. She say by herself in silence for about 30 minute before she heard another door open, she turns quickly thinking it’s Atsushi who woke up, or kunikida who’s gonna get mad at her. It ends up being yosano with a blanket and a mug.

Yosano looks equally if not more suprised to see Kyoka. Yosano considers turning around but realizes that isn’t an option. The older women sits down next to her and puts the blanket over both of their legs. She decides to hand the cup of tea to Kyoka instead of drinking it.” What are you doing up at this time?” Asks yosano with a clear look of concern on her face.

“ I’m tired yosano, I’m just tired.”she says like it answers all of her questions. “Then go to sleep.” Said yosano, not quite understanding Kyoka. The young girl sighed heavily once again. “I can’t sleep, every time I close my eyes I see my parents, or the people I killed.” Cried Kyoka. “ I just want it to end.” Yosano sits for a moment without saying a word. “Yosano?” Asks Kyoka. Yosano is knocked out of her trance.

“ I don’t like to tell people this, but I was In the port mafia once too. Atleast I sort of was, Mori made me save soldiers who were on the brink of death during the Great War.”she said while resting her hands on her face.”I didn’t want to be there, but I thought if I was saving peoples lives it would be okay. I never thought about how I would feel watching the soldiers break. My powers can only Heal their physical conditions, not their mental conditions. The soldiers all gradually started to break, every time I used my ability on them, Even some of the strongest. Some of them committed suicide just so I couldn’t bring them back. I become a shell of who I was before.I hate Mori for what he did to me.” Revealed yosano. Kyoka soaked up what she was saying fairly easy.

“Does it get better?” Asks Kyoka with a little shine of hope In her eyes. Yosano reaches over and brushes the hair out of Kyokas eyes. “It does, step by step. I know I’ll never be the same, but if it didn’t happen I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t be at the agency, and I love it here. So even if I get a couple nightmares every now and then, or my heart rate quickens at the sight of a body, so be it. If that’s what I had to go through to get here I don’t regret anything that happend. I’ll never forgive Mori, but I’ve forgiven myself, and In the end that’s all that really matters.” Replied yosano with a small sympathetic smile on her face. “So you think I can be good?” Asks Kyoka.

Yosanos heart dropped.” Of course I do, you’ve shown to be kind, and I’ve heard a couple things from kouyou.” Says yosano, knowing Kyoka is going to have follow up questions. “You know kouyou!?” Yells Kyoka. Yosanos shushes her which causes Kyoka to lower her head in shame. “Yes, between you and I, we are dating.” Whispers yosano. Kyokas eyes light up. “You are? Why haven’t you told the agency?” Questions the smaller child. “The same reason I don’t tell them I used to be in the mafia, im afraid they’ll treat me different. I may not have chosen to be in the mafia but I chose to date her.” Says yosano. “ I don’t know why I’m having this conversation with a child.” She laughs dryly.

“Is there not allowed to be dating between organizations? Atsushi is dating Akutagawa.” Says Kyoka. Yosanos jaw dropped. “They’re dating? Since when?” Asks yosano. Kyokas eyebrows furrow as she thinks.” I saw them kissing in the dorm room, I came back early and wasn’t supposed to see. I promised I wouldn’t tel anyone.” Says Kyoka as she realizes she betrayed Atsushis trust. “I only told you cause you’re also in a relationship with someone from the mafia.”exclaimed Kyoka. Yosano nods in understanding.

“technically it’s allowed if we go through Dazai. he held a meeting with Mori about me and kouyous relationship. Basically they make it so we don’t get put up against eachother because that’s not good for either side.” Explains yosano. “But why does Dazai do it and not the president?” Asks the unsure child.
“I’m not quite sure, all I know is he’s in charger of all the communication with other organizations.” Replies yosano, wishing she could explain more.

“I’m sure the president has a reason, so should Atsushi tel Dazai about his relationship so that he can set a meeting?” Says Kyoka with concern. Yosano nods. Kyoka takes the last sip of the tea gifted to her from the doctor and says her farewells.

“Never bring this up again.” Says Kyoka in a flat voice, before returning to her room. She sighs contently, happy with the conversation she just had.

“Good job doctor yosano.” Says a voice from the shadows. Yosano laughs and rolls her eyes at his attempted creepiness. “Come out Dazai.” She says knowingly. Out steps the bandage covered man from behind the stairs.

“Are you mad at me for listening?” Inquires Dazai. Yosano thinks for a moment, unsure of how she feels about it but quickly decides.” No, I’m sure you already knew about my time With Mori, plus I told her you control all the outer agency stuff so I guess we are even.” Answered the doctor. He walks over and sits where Kyoka was sitting moments earlier. He puts the blanket over his legs too, so now both ex-mafioscos are under the blanket. “I did, and I already spoke with Mori about Atsushi at the same time I did you, so don’t worry about him.”

The two sit in a comfortable silence. When the two first met yosano thought Dazai was like Mori, which scared her, but she can now see he’s nothing like him. “ I’m glad you had that chat with Kyoka, I worry about her.” Says Dazai out of the blue. “no worries, I think the both of us feel a little better after chatting.” The two go back to a silence.” I think she should see a therapist, I know one who would be perfect for her. He doesn’t care about murder and he’s trustworthy.” Starts Dazai but before he can even finish yosano agrees.

The two sit together until sunset, and are found sleeping together the next morning by kunikida. Even so, dazais late to work.

~time skip, In the office after hours~

Dazai had just finished explaining what happened last night to Ranpo, hoping for words of advice. “ I planned on telling Kyoka about my past so she isn’t alone, but yosano revealed her past. She doesn’t need me to anymore.” Says Dazai while he rests his head on his desk. Ranpo playfully smacks the back of his head.”isn’t that what you wanted?” Inquires Ranpo. Dazai nods, with his head still down. “It is, but now I feel guilty I didn’t tell her sooner.” Complained the mummified man. “Then tell her.” Said Ranpo, though to Dazai it felt more like a command.

Ranpo walked out without another word, leaving Dazai alone.

-

-

-

For about five minutes before coming back to ask Dazai to take him home. The duo walk out the agency door feeling good.

Chapter Text

The work day is over, most of the people have left the building. All except Atsushi,Kyoka, and Dazai. Atsushi grabs the case file for the agency’s most recent case and puts it in his bag. “Do you want to go get crepes?” Asked Atsushi. The question was directed at Kyoka but it was Dazai who answered. “Yes! I always hear how much Kyoka likes them.”

Atsushi and Kyoka share a look, knowing one of them would have to pay most likely. “I’ll pay.” Says Dazai with a bright smile. Atsushis eyes widen at his words but Kyoka doesn’t look convinced. “Thats not the first time you’ve said you’d pay for something and then back out at the last minute because you forgot your wallet.” Says Kyoka with her left eyebrow raised.

Dazai sighs and pulls out a wallet. The two younger detectives look at the wallet in suprise. Not only had neither of them ever seen his wallet, but it was pretty expensive by the looks of it. He opened it and grabbed a 50 dollar bill and handed it to Atsushi.

“Did you steal this from kunikida?” Asked Atsushi. Dazai clutched his heart with a dramatic flare. “How dare you accused of such crimes? I would never. Plus kunikida doesn’t carry cash anymore.” Said Dazai.

“I wonder why.”said Kyoka flatly, which caused Atsushi to giggle. “Anyways, are we gonna go?” Asked Dazai. The female nodded and the trio exited the building.

The group walked at a medium pace, and reached the crepe place in little time. Dazai hadn’t ordered a crepe before so he just got what the younger two got. The group decided to walk over to a bench to sit down and watch the sunset but ran into a certain duo.

“Hiya ane-san, doctor yosano!” Says Dazai with his normal flare. The two
Had not noticed the group walking up to them so they both looked surprised to see them. Kouyou didn’t know what to say, after having not met with Kyoka for so long.

Dazai put his hand on Atsushis shoulder.”I’ll Walk you to the dorm.” Said Dazai as he started to push Atsushi back in the direction of the agency. “But Kyoka-“
“Yosano will take her back.” Interrupted Dazai. Atsushi frowned as they walked away, the taller of the two turned to face the girls one last time and produced a small wave before walking away.

“Is it really safe to leave Kyoka with kouyou? She’s a port mafia executive
And she tried to make Kyoka go back to the Mafia.” Said Atsushi, voice full of concern.

“Come on Atsushi~ don’t be a hypocrite.” Joked Dazai. Though the younger seemed to have missed the joke. “ I was never in the mafia Dazai.” Said the confused orphan. Dazai face palmed. “You’re dating Akutagawa, so it’s hypocritical to use the mafia as an excuse.” Explained Dazai slowly.

Atsushis eyes widened in surprise. “What? Who told you?” Yelled Atsushi. Dazai backed up from his sudden outburst. “Was it a secret?” Asked Dazai, As he made a poor attempt to not laugh.

“What? Of course it was! Does kunikida know?” Stammered Atsushi. Dazai shook his head in reply. “He wouldn’t know unless you spelled it out for him, he sure is dense for a detective.” Joked Dazai, trying and failing to clear the air.

“I’m just kidding, Mori told me.” He said, telling a half truth. Mori did tell him, but he had already known because Ryu(Akutagawa) told him, seeing as Dazai and chuuya are the Akutagawa siblings legal guardians.

Now Atsushi looked even more concerned and confused, as he connected dots that weren’t there. “ you’re a spy for the port mafia?!?” Said Atsushi with a shocked face. Now it was dazais turn to be confused. “No? I handle the agency’s communication with other organizations, including the port mafia and he brought it up at one of our meetings.” Clarified Dazai.

“Is he mad? Are we even allowed to date? Are we going to have to break up?” Questioned Atsushi, who spoke faster then he had ever spoken before.

“No, yes, and no. Usually if there is dating between organizations you should tell your boss and then they’ll fill out a form and sent it to hr, or atleast the port mafia version of that where they will process it and send it back to us.” Explained the bandaged man.

“Wait so it’s allowed?” Pointed out Atsushi. “Why is it allowed, isn’t that bad for the organizations if the two get put up against eachother?”

Dazai sighs, not wanting to explain further and waste his time. Nonetheless he had to do it or the orphan would be lost. “It’s better for both sides if we are aware of relationships because it’d suck if at one of our fights two people dating got put up against eachother and couldn’t fight, that’s what the form is for. Basically both sides sign it and if one of the higher ups puts them up against their significant other, they can just show them the form. It’s more for the safety of the port mafia members then us, but it’s still nice to have the form handy.” Explains Dazai, as Atsushi nods along with everything said.

“But I never signed the form?” Asked Atsushi. Dazai realized his mistake.”contracts signed by minors have no hold in court, so Ranpo signed it on your behalf and his parent signed it on his behalf.” Said Dazai hoping the teen doesn’t press any further on the matter. But alas, with dazais luck he does.

“Why Ranpo? Why not kunikida or the president.” Asked Atsushi. ‘Does he ever stop asking questions’ wondered Dazai.

“Ranpo technically is your legal guardian, children/teens need parental consent to join the agency since it’s a dangerous job so he signed off on adoption papers so you could work with us.” Said Dazai scared of what his reply would be

He looked surprisingly understanding. “I get it.” The two finally decide to walk back toward the agency after taking a detour and run into the three girls again, except walking with them is the Akutagawa siblings.

The two 16 year old boys awkwardly say hello, which causes the adults to laugh. “Wait, everyone here knows.” Says Akutagawa as gin laughs. After a couple moments of the group chatting, mostly revolving around Kyoka and when they are going to see eachother again, the group splits up. Akutagawa and Atsushi leave to go out for dinner, and the rest stand still about five minutes from the agency dorms.

“So I’ll get into contact with you soon about Kyoka so you and chuuya can see her again.” Says Dazai before giving kouyou a quick hug. The woman smiles.” I sure hope so, chuuya really misses her.” Says kouyou, as she kisses yosanos cheek and walks away.

Now it’s just Dazai, yosano, and Kyoka.
“You never mentioned you knew chuuya or kouyou personally.” Said a scary looking doctor. Dazai laughs awkwardly.”it never came up?” He tried.

Kyoka frowns in confusion.”We already knew that, chuuyas mother and Ranpo said they all knew each-other from a common friend.” Says Kyoka. Yosano makes a confused face. “It was when you and Dazai went out together a week ago.”Yosano mouths oh.

The trio doesn’t say another word until they are back at the dorms. “I’ll see You tomorrow.” Says Kyoka before walking into her dorm and closing the door behind her. It leaves the two adults in silence.

“Kouyou mentioned that you and her knew eachother, she didn’t say you were friends because Kyoka was there but she looked content when Kyoka brought you up. Why didn’t you tell me you knew her?” Asks yosano with a straight face. “Or that you apparently know the gravity user too?”

Dazai looks at the stairs and considers running for the hills but yosano moves to stand in front of them to block his exit. He sighs heavily. “Why does it matter, it didn’t come up.” Said Dazai, even though he had a feeling he knew what her reply was going to be. And when Dazai has a feeling, he’s always right.

“I felt alone, thinking I was a black sheep being in a relationship with kouyou and you know her? You never thought I would’ve been comforted to know that you’re friends with two mafia executives?” Asked yosano In an extremely pissed off voice.

“You and kouyou met at a bar, not even through work. So how was I supposed to explain how I know them?” Asked Dazai who was now equally pissed off.

“I wouldn’t have asked and you know that! You could’ve just told me you were friends and I wouldn’t have pressed further.” Yelled the woman.

Dazai scoffs. “Don’t even pretend you wouldn’t have, you have to know everything. I bet it pisses you off not knowing anything about Me.” Says Dazai

Yosanos eyes furrow together, not in an angry way but in an concerned way. “Of course it does, you and Ranpo are my closest friends and there’s nothing to show for it. I don’t even know your favourite colour for fucks sake! You build these walls around you and act all care free but I can see right through it.” Argued Yosano.

“Light blue, my favourite colour is light blue.” Answers Dazai. Blue because of chuuyas eyes, not that she needed to know that. He thinks about telling yosano the full ugly truth, port mafia and all but he settles for the non port Mafia version of the story.

“ I met odasaku, or as you know the assassin who doesn’t kill in Paris. I was fifteen and on vacation, he was nineteen and there for work. He was an assassin at the time, I was his hit.” Starts Dazai. Yosanos eyes widen in surprise at his sudden decision to explain. “I was the one who put the hit out, I kept failing my suicide attempts so I decided to try an alternative method. He had two weeks to kill me, he was allowed three different attempts. If he succeeded he would get all of my money and assets, if he didn’t he would get 10 million dollars and a favour to be cashed in at any time. You may be thinking’why didn’t he just not try then? It’s an easy 10 million’ and that’s because he was a good man and I knew he’d give it everything he had.” He said with a voice full of emotion, having never had to tell the story out loud before.

“Dazai you don’t have to, I’m sorry for saying all those things.” Said yosano as she reached her arm out to him. “I think I need to. I haven’t talked about him in a while, it’s just a little hard. The first attempt was poisoning my drink, which failed because he was in the bar so I knew something was fishy. He hadn’t been aware I knew what he looked like so I went over to him and told him I was the one who put the hit out. As far as he had been concerned it had been somebody else. We chatted for a couple minutes before we went our separate ways. The next time he tried he out bombs in my fridge, but he put them on a 30 second timer from when I opened the fridge so I had time to deactivate since it wasn’t a intricate design.” Said Dazai. The two made eye contact as Dazai continued his story.

“The final time I was out for brunch at a fancy restaurant that was on a roof, and he had a sniper rifle. A couple seconds before he pulled the trigger I waved at him, showing I knew he was there. I pulled out my phone and texted him an invitation for brunch, to which he actually came. we talked for hours. When we were about to leave, I wired the money to his account and asked him what his favour would be. He told me to surprise him. We met once more before my vacation was over which led to him following me to japan. His reasoning was he had met his favourite author. The author gave him the third book in a series he could never find. He told him to write the third book in his series since he thought it was bad. He said to be Able to bring a character into existence you should take people out, so he quit his job as a killer for hire. He didn’t know it until years later, but him meeting the author was my doing, since I was trying to return the favour. He ended up joining the mafia but didn’t want to kill, which is where he got his nickname from. We started hanging out a lot and he introduced me to all of his friends.six years ago he passed away, but i has become so close with his friends that i still see them.” Finished Dazai.

“I’m sorry Dazai, he sounds like an interesting man.” Said yosano. Dazai laughed humourlessly. “I’m sure you heard that he took down mimic?” Asked Dazai. Yosano nodded in reply. “People say he finally snapped but it’s not true, he had five orphans he took care of and Mori told mimic about them. Mimic killed them so odasaku went to get revenge. I don’t know if I mentioned it but he was a god tier ability user, his ability was seeing into the future, and time travel. But up against other people with different types of time related ability’s it causes them to glitch in a way. So he couldn’t keep up with the other man. The two kept dodging eachother shots. Every god tier ability user has certain circumstances that cause their deaths, His was fighting someone with an ability like his own. His immortality shut down and he knew that going in, he knew he would die but he still went.” Said Dazai with an emotionless face.

“I know it’s been six years and it’s a little late to try and comfort you, but I’m going to do something.” Said yosano. Before Dazai could ask what, the women pulled him into a tight hug. Dazai gasped in shock, he stood stiff as yosano had her arms wrapped around him.

“Thanks yosano.” Said Dazai with a small smile, not that she could see it with their current position. The women pulled away. “Thank you for telling me, I know you didn’t want to but I think I understand you more now.” Said the doctor. The two nod at eachother and it’s clear the conversation has run its course, not to be mentioned again. Yosano turns to go to her dorm room and Dazai turns to head to his shared penthouse with his husband.

On his walk back it starts to rain. He sees Ryuu and Atsushi running to cover and laughing, which caused the immortal man to smile. It reminded him of his own relationship. He considered taking a moment to chat with them but he hadn’t seen ryuu look so care free in ages so he decided to keep walking.

He would normally take a train or a taxi but he decided to walk in the down pour, he would later regret that decision because even god tier ability users get sick.

When he got home he was absolutely soaked and was met with an angry husband. He did what any generally sane man would do and hugged him so both of them would be wet.

Chapter Text

The smaller of the two tried to push the tallest away harshly. “You shithead, you’re soaked.” Yelled chuuya as he made poor attempts to get out of his husbands grip. The bandaged man just laughed as he squeezed him tighter. Chuuya gave up and returned the hug.

“I thought you were coming home early today?” Asked Chuuya as the two men walked into the kitchen. “I was going to but then Kyoka and Atsushi wanted crepes, and I went with them. Then we ran into yosano and kouyou on a date so Atsushi and i left for a bit so Kouyou could see her. When Atsushi and a came back around gin and ryuu were there so Atsushi left with him. After a couple minutes kouyou and gin left too, so it was just the three of us ex-mafioscos, so I walked them home.” Said the taller man as he wrapped his arms around husband once more.

“And?” Said the redhead. Dazai sighed.”once Kyoka went into her dorm yosano got mad at me for not telling her I knew kouyou or you, so I said I was friends with you because of odasaku then explained how I met odasaku, excluding me being in the mafia.” Explained Dazai. Chuuya frowned at the man with a Matching ring around his neck. “You’re gonna regret not telling the full truth later.” Said chuuya, dazai nodded.

The air was silent for a few seconds before chuuya spoke. “Well if Ryuu is out with Atsushi, and gin is out with kouyou then it’s just you and me tonight.” Said chuuya. “So why don’t you go get changed and I’ll make us dinner.” Laughed the short executive.

Dazai looked down at his still soaking body and joined the laughter before walking to their room to get changed. He first put his nighttime bandages on. He then put sweatpants and a loose t-shirt on, both different shades of blue. When he finished he left the room and was met with the smell of dinner.

The two immortal men ate dinner slowly, by the time they were done the two were joking about Atsushi and Ryu’s relationship. “Yeah and they were equally as soaked as I was, so they’re gonna be sick tomorow.” Joked Dazai. Chuuya raised an eyebrow. “You’ll probably be sick too.” Pointed out chuuya.

“Nope, my immune system is too strong Chibi~” sung Dazai. The man would be proved wrong the next day. Chuuya just rolled his eyes. The couple watched a movie and then went to bed.

~the next morning~

Dazai woke up with an intense pounding in his head, which caused him to groan. He rolled over and patted the bed but was met with nobody. He opened his eyes and checked the clock which read 8:34. Chuuya had already gone to work. Dazai sat up slowly and got up, the moment he took a step he got dizzy and sneezed.

“Fuck me.” Muttered Dazai. He turned around and grabbed his phone before calling chuuya. Once he answered he started to speak before his husband could even start to reply.

“Babe, I’m sick, can you come home please.” Said Dazai, his current state was evident due to his raspy voice and use of a pet name. But of course In the mans sick state he hit the wrong contact. He was met with a yelling kunikida.

“You’re not sick! You just want to miss work, get your ass Over here.” Screamed kunikida. Dazai groaned. “I’m not lying this time, plus Atsushi is probably sick too From walking in the rain.” Said Dazai softly.

He was met with silence on the other end.”You didn’t convince Atsushi to join you on one of your excursions did you?” Asked kunikida. Dazai shook his head, which was a mistake because not only could the man not see him, but his head screamed at him. He turned the light on next to him and switched the call to face time. (Everyone has iPhones in this fic) kunikida answered immediately and flinched when he see dazais face.

The bags under his eyes were huge and his face was extremely pale. He moved his phone around to show his bed and the fact that he was at home still. “Do you believe me now?” Asked the bandaged gentleman. Kunikida nodded. “Do you need me to send yosano to your dorm?” Asked kunikida. Dazai shook his head. “I don’t live at the dorm.” Said Dazai.

“What do you mean you don’t live at the dorm? You rent it out?” Questioned kunikida. Dazai sighed, realizing his sick brain wasn’t thinking. “I rent it out Incase I work late for a case, I live on the other side of town.” Explained the sick man.

Kunikida started talking again but Dazai cut him off. “I’ll see you tomorrow, send yosano to check up on Atsushi.” Said Dazai before hanging up the call. He checked the clock and realized he had wasted 5 minutes on that call.

He went into the favourites section on his contacts so that there was no room for error. He hit the contact that read slug And waited. He didnt get a reply so he phoned again. Still no reply.

“Fine, I’ll phone kouyou then.” Muttered Dazai to himself. She answered on the first ring. “Why are you phoning chuuya and me?” Asked the woman. “Chuuya saw and didn’t answer?” Whined Dazai. The women muffled talking with someone else for about 20 seconds before answering. “He said you walked around in the rain yesterday and probably have a cold, which is your fault so he’s not coming home.” Said the women with a flat voice.

“Can you put me on speaker.” Asked Dazai. “We are in an important meeting right now.” Answered kouyou, but nonetheless she put him on speaker. “Babe im super sickkkk.” Complained Dazai. “Can’t you come home, it’s just a meeting.”

There was chatter on the other end of the call. “It’s just a meeting? It’s super important. We are discussing the guild.” Said chuuya. Dazai coughed and sneezed at the same time making a horrific noise. “Please, I’m sorry for walking in the rain.” Said Dazai softly. A heavy sigh was heard. “Fine, I’m coming.” Said the small redhead before hanging up Kouyous phone.

Dazai smiled contently. He grabbed the comforter off of their bed and walked downstairs to the living room. He laid down on the couch with a huff and turned the tv on. That’s when his phone started to ring. He grabbed his phone and checked who was calling. He assumed it would be chuuya or kunikida but was met with ryu. He answered it.

“Are you sick?” Asked the black haired boy. “Yes.” Answered Dazai. He heard a string of curses from ryu. “I’m stuck at Atsushis dorm cause we are both sick.” Dazai smiled. “Yosano is on her way to his dorm to check on you.” Said Dazai hoping it would make him feel better.

“Can’t I just come home?” Complained ryu. Dazai scoffed. “Of course not, you get a chance to stay at home with your boyfriend all day.” Answered Dazai like it were obvious. “But it’s not going to be fun if we are both sick.” Said the younger man.

“Just cuddle and watch tv, that’s my plan.” Said Dazai. He grabbed the remote and started flicking through channels. “Wait a minute, chuuya went home? That’s why you don’t want me back.”Claimed ryu. Dazai giggled In response, answering what ryu already knew.

“Fine, I’ll see you tomorow.” Said ryu before hanging up. Dazai frowned at the phone. “Why does everyone keep hanging up on me today?” Dazai asked nobody in particular. He put on a random cartoon and ended up dozing off.

When he woke up a couple hours later somebody was raking their fingers through his hair. He rolled onto his back so he could look up and he was met with chuuya. The smaller man smiled down at him. He smiled back.

“What time is it.” Yawned Dazai. Chuuya checked his phone. “It’s 12:30.” He tried to sit up but his head started pounding, which caused an audible moan. Chuuya put his arm over Dazai pushing him back down onto his lap.

Chuuya slowly lifted Dazais head and got up, placing a pillow where his thighs once were. “I’m gonna go get you soup, I made some when I got home.” Dazai didn’t reply but chuuya knew he heard him.

When he got back Dazai was sitting up for the most part, though he was a little slouched. “You know you’re cuter like this, when you’re sick.” Joked chuuya, which caused Dazai to frown. “Don’t worry, I still love you.” Laughed the petite mafiosco. He leaned over and kissed Dazai. “You’re gonna get sick.”exclaimed Dazai. “You’ll take care of me though right?” Asked chuuya, with their faces centimetres apart. Dazai nodded which put a small smile on chuuyas face. “Then I have nothing to worry about.” Said chuuya before kissing him again.

“You have morning breath.” Whispered chuuya. The taller man gasped in response.” I do not!” He yelled. Chuuya laughed. “You so do!” Dazai crosses his arms. “You should Just agree if you want me to feed you.” Said chuuya. Dazais eyes lit up. “Yep, I have morning breath.” Said Dazai quicker then chuuya had ever heard the man speak.

Chuuya spook fed him even though Dazai was fully capable of doing it himself. When Dazai was done he rapped his arms around chuuyas waste slowly. “What are you doing?” Asked chuuya. Dazai didn’t answer but put his head in the crook of chuuyas neck, before yanking chuuya down on top of him. The two men now laid straight across the couch with chuuya on top.

“Just lay with me for a bit.” Whispered Dazai with his eyes closed. “I just did you stupid mackerel!” Said chuuya, but he didn’t get a response form Dazai since he had already fallen asleep. Chuuya placed his head down on dazais chest and was met with a slow hearbeat. He ended up dozing off to the sound of it.

Chuuya was the first to wake up and found that they had been sleeping for hours. He kissed dazais forehead and found that he had a fever so he went a grabbed a wet cloth to put on his head. Once chuuya was in the kitchen he heard a bunch of coughing from the living room. He grabbed the wet cloth and was met with a crunched over and coughing Dazai. He went and rubbed his hand on his back.

“Are you okay?” Asked chuuya. Dazai nodded and laid back down, facing chuuya so that they were making eye contact. Chuuya places the cloth on the sick mans forehead.” You have a fever.”
Dazai didn’t look surprised. “Do you want more soup?” Asked chuuya. Dazai shook his head. “Do you want to go to bed?” Asked Chuuya. The taller man nodded.

Chuuya momentarily lifted the cloth off of his forehead and helped his husband get upstairs to their room. He set him down on the chair in the corner and remade their bed for him. He turned to grab Dazai but he was already behind him and he laid down on the bed. “Do you want me to stay?” Questioned chuuya. Dazai shook his head. “You can go do your work now.” Murmured Dazai already half asleep.

Chuuya just watched him sleep for a couple minutes before heading downstairs to grab his laptop. Once he had it in his arms he returned to their room and sat on the chair. In his sleep Dazai said many things, most of which made chuuya smile or in some cases even blush. Mostly just compliments and I love yous, meaning he was dreaming about chuuya.

Once his clock read 9:30, he looked over at Dazai who was still sleeping and decided that he himself should go to bed. He turned the light off and got in bed, Dazai immediately wrapped his arms around him. He dozed off within minutes due to being in the arms of his loving husband.

~the next morning~

Dazai woke up and felt amazing, he looked at the clock which read 7:30. He still had lots of time before he needed to show up at work. After sleeping for so long he decided to get up, but realized an arm was wrapped around his waste. Chuuya was supposed to be at work so it caught him by surprise. He looked around and was met with a pale faced husband, he sighed.

He slowly and carefully lifted his arm off of his and grabbed his phone. He walked outside the door and phoned kunikida. The man answered immediately, which wasn’t surprising.

“You better come to work today, yosano checked on Atsushi and said he was coming in today.” Said kunikida before Dazai could explain the situation. “No can do, my wifey is sick now from taking care of me, I have to return the favour so I won’t be coming in today.” Explained Dazai before hanging up, probably leaving the man with a bunch of unanswered questions. The thought made him laugh out loud. His phone started ringing again but he just turned the ringer off, because he heard coughing from his room and that was more important.

“Son of a bitch.” Said chuuya, which caused Dazai to giggle softly. Chuuya started to try and get up but Dazai pushed him down. “Let your husband take care of you for once, okay?” Said Dazai. Chuuya smiled softly and nodded.

Chapter Text

It was an EXTREMELY slow day, Dazai considered not going but ended up choosing to since he missed the past two days. Not that is wasn’t worth it, to take care of his husband and get taken care of, but he knew it was a mistake to reference a wife when he last talked to kunikida.

‘Hes gonna think I’m straight!’ Thought Dazai before shaking his head to himself. ‘That’s not the problem here...’ the bandaged man sighed and walked up into the office and was met with silence.

Everyone was pretty much just sitting around. Kyoka,Atsushi, and yosano were chatting, probably about the port mafia seeing as they all have a connection to them, not that anyone else knows. Dazai started to feel a presence from behind him, he felt a hand tightly grip his shoulder.

“So you decided to play hookie by pretending to have a wife? What one of your stupid little adventures could be more important then work.” Snapped kunikida. Dazai shrugged and removed Kunikidas hand before taking a seat at his desk. “I was at home.” Said the man in question. Kunikida rolled his eyes.

“Let me guess, at your supposed apartment with your supposed wife?” Asked kunikida sarcastically. Dazai beamed. “Yes! You remembered?” Said the man looking touched. Kunikida raised his eyebrow. “Wait, you actually have a wife, before me? I thought you were lying to get out of work. Then do you actually not live at the dorms? I thought that was just an excuse for me to not find you.” Muttered kunikida silent enough that even Dazai with trained hearing could barely hear.

Ranpo came over and sat down.” If you don’t believe him why don’t you ask me? I can tell you anything just by putting my glasses on.” Said Ranpo proudly, even though he already knew about dazais husband. “Ah yes Ranpo, does Dazai live at the dorms?” Asked kunikida, placing all his faith in the man. Ranpo smirked.” I don’t need my super amazing ability for that, since I’ve been to his apartment, if one can call it that.” Said Ranpo.

Everyone in the room was listening in on the conversation other then the tanizaki siblings at this point. Kunikida frowned. “If it’s the bad of an apartment then why does he keep the one at the dorms? I’m sure he could afford a way better apartment with that extra money. Or he could just live in the dorms.” Said kunikida.

“Oh you’re mistaken, it’s not because his apartments bad...It’s humongous.”stated Ranpo. “He lives on the the other side of town.” Answered Ranpo like the answer made sense. Atsushi was confused by this, having lived in an orphanage most of his life.” What does the other side of town have to do with size?” He asked to nobody in particular.

“Nothing really, the other side of town is just the more ‘wealthy’ side of town, not that both sides aren’t.” Answered kunikida. Atsushi nodded in understanding. Kunikida turned to face Ranpo. “He actually lives there though? That must be a hassle to come here everyday, was it because the place was cheap?” Asked kunikida, making the fair assumption that Dazai was practically broke.

“Nope kunikida~ my wifey liked the place
A lot, plus it’s close to their workplace.” Answered Dazai. The majority of the rooms eyes widened, before turning to Ranpo for confirmation. “Yes, Dazais actually married, I’ve met his spouse.” Confirmed Ranpo, which just caused more shock from the detectives.

Kenji poked Dazais shoulder. “Can I ask a question?” Asked the younger man. Dazai nodded before taking a sip of tea, courtesy of yosano. “Is wifey lingo for husband here?” Asked kenji bluntly. Which caused Dazai to spit the tea out and Ranpo to burst into laughter. “I’ve never seen Dazai look so suprised.” Laughed Ranpo as he fell onto the floor, body fully shaking from his loud laughter.

Dazai glared at Ranpo.” No it’s not, why would you think that?” Asked Dazai, who was completely confused by the fact it was kenji who found him out, not a fellow homosexual. “I just always thought you were gay? I guess not.” Shrugged kenji. Atsushi looked like he was torn over saying something about himself, so he decided to just come out and say it. “My ‘wifey’ is a man, I just call him that because he looks like a girl.” Revealed Dazai.

Everyone except kenji, yosano, and Ranpos jaws dropped. “ you’re what?!” Yelled Atsushi. Dazai raised his eyebrow. “Gay? Yes I thought it was obvious.” Shrugged the bandaged man. Kunikida slammer his hand on the table. “How could it have been obvious? You constantly flirt with women and you called him your wife?” Snapped kunikida. Dazai just laughed.”you call asking girls to commit double suicide flirting? No wonder I got married first.” Joked Dazai, which caused kunikida to start fuming.

Kunikida tries to start talking but Dazai cuts him off before he gets the chance. “I call him my wife cause he’s short and has long hair.” Kunikida still had a shocked look on it. The rest of the detectives were now back to normal faces, taking dazais personality into consideration, his sexuality wasn’t too outlandish. Dazai placed his hand on Kunikidas shoulder, making a sad attempt to comfort the man.

“Don’t worry though, I won’t hit on you are anything. I’m happily married for over six years.” Said Dazai. The once rested faces now all showed different levels of confusion and suprise. “But you’re only twenty four years old?” Asked Atsushi. Dazai smiled.” Yep we got married when we were eighteen, I’ve never regret for a second.” Said the bandaged man. This caused the room to fill with a comfortable air, none of them had seen him look so
Genuinely happy, even if it only lasted a couple seconds.

“I think you two would actually get along really well.” Thought Dazai out loud, as his phone started ringing. “Who, me and your husband?” Asked kunikida. Dazai nodded in reply.” Yeah you have a lot in common.” Answered Dazai. “You both find me to be extremely annoying!” Said Dazai in a voice more happy then it should be. Dazai picked up the phone on the last ring before even looking at the contact.
“Hello?”
————-
“You’re sick? You were fine this morning?”
————-
“Did you tell your dad?”
—————
“No no no, it’s no problem I was just wondering.”
—————-
“Sure thing, I’ll be there in five.”
—————
“Love you too.”

Ranpo laughed a little, knowing the gist of what was said on the call. “You really set of a chain reaction of colds.” Laughed the man. Yosano turned to look at Dazai with a confused look. “Who was that?” Asked the woman. Dazai got out of his chair and started walking towards the door. “Huh? Family.” He answered. Before walking out the door, and not returning till the next day.

~at the Nakahara residence~

Dazai danced around the kitchen, humming a song about double suicide, as he threw all carrots and celery into a pot with noodles and chicken broth. He poured the finished product into a bowl and walked down the hall and stopped outside a door. He knocked twice. Once he heard a quiet here with a bunch of coughs after he walked in.

Gin was lying in her bed, she smiled at the sight of him. “I made soup!” Sung Dazai as he brought it over to her table. “Thanks Dazai.” Smiled the girl. Dazai sat down next to her and ran his fingers through her hair for a Moment. “I’m sure you want to rest, if you need anything just text Me. I’ll be in the other room.” Said Dazai before kissing her forehead and exiting the room.

Authors note: Dazai and chuuya are the aktugawas legal guardians in this fic, I mentioned it in passing before but I just wanted to clarify for anyone who finds themselves confused.

Chapter Text

Chuuya stood with his arms crossed as he glared at the man across from him. “So let me get this straight? You told the armed detectives agency that your married to a short man with long hair, and that you live in a huge apartment in port mafia territory?” Asked the redhead with a pissed off look on his face. Dazai nodded eagerly as he put his hands in his pockets.

“Yep! Well originally I called you my wifey but then kenji asked if that was lingo for husband.” Stated Dazai, which caused chuuya to burst into a fit of laughter. “He what? Why am I not surprised you flamboyant bastard” said chuuya with a small smile still on his face.

“Yeah so then I was like’ I gotta tell him’ you should’ve seen kunikidas face.” Laughed the bandaged man. The immortal men looked back at the wall and sighed. “I hate painting.” Complained Dazai. Chuuya smacked him on the shoulder. “Yes but you love Kyoka so do it.” Said chuuya. The shorter man stood on his toes trying to reach the top of the wall. Dazai laughed at the sight of his husband.

“Shitty Dazai, this is why I paid someone to do it last time.” Muttered chuuya. Dazai walked over to his husband and wrapped his arms around him. “This was your idea though my chibi~” sung Dazai before taking the roller out of his husbands hands and finishing the last part of the wall.

“You should just finish it.” Said chuuya. Dazai turned around and saw chuuya with a cup of tea. Dazai raised his eyebrow.” Is that for me?” Chuuya just scoffed in reply. “Nope it’s for me, I’m looking at bedroom furniture.” Said chuuya as he pulled out his laptop and sat in the middle of the room.

“But it was your idea, and We’ve only
Done one wall.” Complained dazai.” And didn’t we agree Kyoka would pick the stuff for the room? And that’s IF she wants to move in with us.” Finished Dazai. Chuuya sighed and looked up from his laptop. He got up and went to hug the taller man. “Of course she will.” He whispered in his ear.

The two stood together hugging for a minute before chuuya spoke. “Alright, you finish painting I’ll pick out a bed frame.” Goggled the shorter man before going back to sit on the floor. Dazai shook his head in disbelief while laughing a bit. He knew he didn’t stand a chance winning the paint argument so he let his husband pick out the bed frame.

When he was finally finished painting the fairly large room, his husband was STILL typing away on his laptop.”Chuuya, I’ve been painting for two hours, how can you still Be looking at bed frames?” Asked the bandaged man. Chuuya scoffed. “I was done that an hour and a half ago.” Answered chuuya.

Dazai raised his eyebrow In confusion. “What are you doing then?” Inquired Dazai. “Buying a car.” Replied the man. Dazais crossed his arms. “Why? We already have a car?” Asked Dazai. Chuuya laughed in reply. “If you can even call that a car, it does all the driving for you.” Giggled chuuya.

“It’s not my fault I can’t drive, it’s super hard!.” Yelled Dazai. Chuuya closed his laptop “which is why I’ll teach ryuu, gin, and you all how to drive.”Dazais eyes widened. “Come on Osamu, they are 16, they need to get their liscenses.”

Dazai sighed heavily, knowing very well his husband had already won. “Fine.” He muttered. Chuuya smiled in reply before opening his laptop again.”perfect because I just ordered a new car from Europe, one that doesn’t do anything for you.” Said chuuya with a proud smile on his face. Dazai looked into chuuyas eyes and knew he’d regret agreeing later.

“Anyways, do you want to make a late night snack? I’m kind of hungry.” Said Dazai as his phone started to ring. He looked at the contact and it read gin so he answered.
“Hi how are you feeling?”
—————-
“That’s good.”
—————-
“Of course I can.”
—————-
“Oh yeah, the walls look great, not that chuuya helped.”
—————-
“Alright alright, I’m coming.”

Chuuya walked up behind him. “Who was that?” He asked as he followed Dazai leave the room. Dazai opened the fridge. “It was gin, looks like I’m not the only hungry one here.” Said The bandaged man. Chuuya looked at what Dazai had pulled out of the fridge. He gasped.

“Did you feed that to her?” Asked chuuya with concern. “It looks disgusting!” Dazai gasped and clutched his heart. “I did my best! You were still at work and I don’t do the cooking .” Said Dazai. “Plus it actually tastes good, I just didn’t do a good job chopping the vegetables.” Explained Dazai, not that chuuya would believe him.

Chuuya stayed silent. “Oh come on chuuya, just taste it.” Said Dazai after he pulled it out of the microwave. It definitely looked more appetizing after it had been heated up and mixed but it still looked bad. Chuuyas nose twitched when he smelled it. It actually smelled really good.

Dazai stuck a spoon in and filled it before holding it out to his husband. Chuuya sighed and opened his mouth. Dazai plopped it into his mouth and chuuya was delightfully surprised when it actually tasted good. His eyes widened in surprise.

Dazai smirked before leaving his husband there to go give gin the bowl. When he returned he found Chuuya eating the last bowl of soup.”I thought you said it was disgusting.” Said Dazai, But chuuya just glared at him. Dazai sat across from him and made a lovey dovey face.

“Before you tell me I should start making dinner some nights, I should warn you that I got the recipe from your mom. I still messed it up the first time and she had to face time me to explain the directions and show me her making it.” Said Dazai. Chuuya laughed at how much effort he put into making it. “You could’ve just bought some from the store.” Stared chuuya as he finished the last couple bites.

“Yeah but then it wouldn’t haven’t been made with the nakahara recipe, it has a special ingredient!” Said Dazai. Chuuya decided not to ask what it was, knowing he wouldn’t get a straight answer. “I’m not sure how you convinced her to give you the recipe, she won’t even tell me.” Complained chuuya. Dazai rescued across the table and put his hand on chuuyas.

“Well it’s a good thing you have me to make it for you whenever you feel like it then, right?” Said Dazai in a more firty way then he had intended. Now it was chuuyas turn to lean over to table but he didn’t place his hand on Dazai, he pulled him into a kiss.

When they pulled away the two smiled at eachother. Dazai washed the dish, as per the agreement between them. Chuuya cooks dinner, Dazai washes dishes. By the time Dazai was done, he checks the time on his phone. It read 9:45 so he decided he should probably go to sleep, but when he turned he was met with the sleeping form of his husband. He said his name a couple times but didn’t get a reply so he picked him up and carried him to their room.

He placed him down on his side of the bed before changing bandages, showering and heading to bed himself. When he lied down he had a sudden realization. He hadn’t eaten. He checked the clock, and cursed at himself for taking such long showers. He quietly stepped out of bed and walked downstairs. To say he was shocked with what he saw next would be an understatement.

Ryuu and Atsushi were making out on the couch. He quickly recovered from the shock and just kept walking to the kitchen since the pair hadn’t noticed him. He grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat down at the kitchen counter. The rooms were separate so they couldn’t see him, and the tv was on so they couldn’t hear him so he decided to just sit there for a while.

Right when he was about to finish his bowl of cereal he heard a loud noise. “Stop.” He couldn’t tell who it came from but he wasn’t too worried. Atleast he wasn’t until he heard another yell. He peaked his head out of the door and saw Atsushi on the ground with a confused look on his face.

“I’m not ready.” Said Ryuu. Dazai raised an eyebrow in confusion, until it hit him. Atsushi got up and sat down next to ryuu. “Im not either, I just thought you wanted to do it.” Explained Atsushi. The two giggled a bit at the awkward moment. “We are only 16, we have lots of time ahead of us, I’d rather not have sex right now.” Said ryuu, which directed the topic to serious again. Atsushi nodded and agreed.

The two went back to watching the movie, if one can really say they watched it. Dazai walked back up to his room once they were distracted and laid down in bed. Just as he was about to fall asleep he sat up in bed super quickly. “What is it.” Said a groggy chuuya.

“We haven’t given ryuu the sex talk yet!”

Author note: I hope y’all understand why changed their ages to 16 now. There won’t be any smut between them, or any implied smut. Also I mentioned at some point that Dazai wanted Kyoka to move in with him which is why they are painting the room for her. They have yet to ask her but they plan on doing it in the next couple days.
Also I’m pretty sure it’s canon that Dazai sucks at driving, and with his past job and inheritance(to be explained) he can definitely afford a Tesla like vehicle, or some type of car that drives on its own.

Chapter Text

When Dazai walked in the next day, nobody really gave him a second glance. But he could tell kunikida had a question for him. He turned to face the man. “Do you have something to say to me kunikida?” Asked the man. Kunikida dropped his pen in surprise.

“It’s nothing, I was just wondering why you don’t wear a ring.” Inquired kunikida. Dazai lifted his left hand it stick it in the front of his shirt, to pull out a gold ring on a necklace. He took of the necklace and passed it over to kunikida. The man carefully looked at it in awe. “Why does it have blue on the inside?” Asked kunikida. Dazai immediately answered. “It’s the same colour as his eyes.” Atsushi came over and asked to look it at too, then the rest of them.

They all gave their opinions on the ring. “Why do you wear it on a chain though?” Asked kenji. Dazai took the ring from yosano when she was finished looking at it. “I don’t want to loose it, it means a lot to me.” Answered Dazai easily.

He put the chain back around his neck and slipped it into his shirt again. The office went back to silence again. “For fucks sakes kunikida, just say it.” Snapped Dazai. Kunikda sighed.” It’s just, why didn’t you ever mention it to any of us? It’s not like we would’ve cared, it’s not like he’s in the port mafia or anything.” Joked kunikida, but for obvious reasons, the joke didn’t land with anyone.

Dazai quickly realized his silence would be suspicious, unlike yosano, Atsushi and Ranpo. “Yeah of course not, i just wasn’t sure of your views on being gay, I didn’t want you to hate me before we even started to get to know eachother.” Kunikida nodded and took his answer, but was left confused by why Atsushi looked so uncomfortable.

“What’s wrong? Did you think I’d be homophobic? It’s fine if you’re gay atsushi.” Said kunikida as he put his hand on atsushis shoulder. Atsushi nodded silently.

“What if you knew who I was dating but you don’t like them?” Asked atsushi, but kunikida didn’t understand what atsushi was referring to. “There is few people I don’t like? Is it one of the students I tutor in my spare time?” Asked the man. Atsushi looked to yosano for help but was met with a shrug.

“No his name is—-“
“I’m dating port mafia executive kouyou!” Said yosano, cutting off atsushi before he could finish. Kunikda stood up suddenly. “You’re what? That reflects awfully on the agency, did you even think before trying to get in her pants? You’re probably gonna betray us and go back to to mafia!” Yelled kunikda. Multiple gasps were heard from around the room, not only because of the mean things he said, or her sexuality, but because the majority of the room didn’t know she was in the mafia.

Kunikida realized his mistake and didn’t apologize. “Why bother even working here if you’re gonna choose her when conflict arises?” Asked kunikida with his arms crossed. Yosano stood up too. “I would never, we are keeping work seperate, there won’t even be any conflict.” Yelled the woman. Kunikida slams his hands on the desk. “How can you be so
Sure?” Replied kunikida.

Yosano looked at Dazai for confirmation. He nodded. She turned back to face kunikida. “Dazai said it would be fine.” She revealed. Kunikida rolled his eyes in reply. “And you trust whatever that bandage wasting maniac says? We didn’t even know he was married until yesterday, we barely even know him!” Smaller kunikda.

“Of course I trust him, he’s been there for me when no one else has been. The whole reason I never told you was because I knew you’d react like this! Just like you did with Kyoka.” Said yosano in an emotionless voice. The two bickered back and forth for a couple minutes before atsushi finally screamed. “Stop it! Why does it matter who she dates?” Yells the boy.

“It matters if she’s going to betray us.” Replied kunikida as though it were obvious. Atsushi thinks for a couple seconds before deciding what he has to say. It’s his fault yosanos getting yelled at anyways. “What about me, am I going to betray you?” Asked Atsushi. Kunikdas eyes widened. “What do you mean.” Said the man carefully.

“The boy I’m dating is aktagawa from the port mafia.” Revealed Atsushi, he had hoped kunikida would realize he was being crazy, he was wrong.

“You too Atsushi? You’re both traitors to the armed detectives agency, do you even know HALF of the things those people have done? They’re murderers!” Said kunikida with his voice raised, as he walked over to Atsushi. Kunikidas hand moved to fix his own glasses, but Atsushi thought he was going to hit him so he fell back into the ground and started sobbing.

Dazai slowly leaned towards atsushi. “It’s Dazai, can I touch you?” Asked the immortal man. Atsushis body stopped moving for a moment before he nodded a tiny bit. Atsushi started to raise his head, assuming Dazai would make him get up, so when long arms wrapped around him and a man sat next to him he was surprised.

“I know kunikida is mad, but he would never ever hit you, alright?” Said Dazai in a softer voice then any of them had heard. Atsushi nodded, but even so he started crying again. “Atsushi I’m-“ kunikida started but Dazais glare cut him off. It shook him to his core and he flinched.

“Kunikida, Just because you don’t think they should date doesn’t mean you get to push your opinions onto a fucking child, I assure you there will be no conflict seeing as both the president and boss of port mafia know of all relationships between our organizations. There is an agreement that makes it so neither person can get put up against the other.” Said Dazai, in the flat calm voice like before.

“Dazai, even if it’s allowed it doesn’t mean they should! They’ve killed people. What’s the point of Atsushi and yosanos even trying to save people if at the end of they day their significant other is off slaughtering innocent people?” Yelled kunikida again which caused Atsushi to flinch and hug Dazai harder.

Dazai glared at kunikida again. “Shut up, keep your opinions to yourself, nobody here asked you to open your mouth so I suggest you close it before you say something you regret.” Whispered Dazai. Kunikida looked apologetic but he looked down at his book of ideals in his hand. “I have the right to say how I feel, it’s in my ideas-“ “you have the right to say how you feel, you don’t have the right to emotionally attack someone just because they are dating someone you don’t like.” Said Kyoka, after being silent the majority of the conversation.

“I’m not sorry for what I said, I was right.” Stated kunikida with false confidence. Dazai sighed and stood up, still holding
Atsushi. “Alright then, we are leaving.” Said Dazai as he put Atsushi in a chair and started grabbing both of their things. Kunikida gasped. “You can’t just leave!” Yelled the man, but yosano spoke up. “I’m leaving too, and I’m taking Kyoka with me.” The four people all started getting their stuff together, and then Ranpo did something that caused kunikida to flinch.

He packed up his candy and said. “I don’t need my special ability to be able to tell you are in the wrong here, frankly I’m disappointed in you, I think we all are.”

The group of five walked out the door, Atsushi still crying silently. Once they were outside they just walked to the beach. “What’s our plan here Dazai?” Asked atsushi.

“I’m going to stay at kouyous for a bit, what about you guys?” Said yosano as she looked out at the water. “I’ll stay with my husband.” Said someone other than Dazai, it was Ranpo. The only one who was suprised was atsushi but after all the revelations in one day he was over it quickly.

“I can phone my boyfriend, I can see if he’ll let me stay with him and his parents.” Said an unsure atsushi. Dazai laughed mentally at his statement, thinking it was funny since he was just about to offer that Atsushi stay with him. “You’re welcome to stay with me, you too Kyoka.” Said the man directed at the the two kids.

Kyoka politely accepted and after a moment of thought Atsushi accepts too. Dazai claps his hands together. “Perfect! My car is at the underground parking lot a block away!” Sung the man as the three started walking away from yosano and Ranpo. Dazai have them one last wave before turning the corner.

“It’s a little late for lunch, but we can go out for a snack. What do you guys want for dinner?” Asked Dazai as he pulled his phone out, ready to text chuuya about what happened today. Atsushi answers tea on rice. while Kyoka answered some tofu dish, one of chuuyas favourites surprisingly. He laughed at the too and texted chuuya. He wasn’t surpised when the man immediately phoned him.
“ hi babe.”
—————
“Kunikida was being mean to him.”
—————
“Yeah she’s with me too.”
—————
“We are going out for lunch first, so could dinner be around 6?”
—————
“I’ll give you the details later, atsushi and Kyoka will be staying with us for a while.”
—————-
“Alrighty love you too.”

Dazai put his phone back in his pocket, they went to get crepes for lunch, on Dazai of course. When the finished them they walked into the underground garage. Dazai fished around in his pockets before grabbing the keys, he hit the unlock button. The man walked over to a sleek black car, clearly expensive and opened the front door and got it. The two younger people shared a surprised look before getting in the back.

“Seatbelts!” Said Dazai in a cheery voice, the two put them on slowly, not wanting to scratch anything. Dazai fixer the rear view mirror so he could see them. Atsushi giggled as Dazai started the car. “It’s kind of funny, I always thought you couldn’t drive for some reason.” Laughed atsushi, but Dazai didn’t join.

“I don’t know how to drive, I have my liscense though.” Said Dazai as the car started moving, both atsushi and Kyoka tensed up. “Don’t worry, it’s a Tesla so it drives itself, I just have to put the address in.” Said Dazai as he clicked the home button on the gps. The car statues driving which atsushi found to be amazing.

Atsushi looked at the screen and noticed the adress looked familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. It was about a 18 minute drive and they pulled into the same building as his boyfriend, atsushi thought it was weird but he didn’t say anything. The three of them parked in the garage under it and walked over to the elevator. It took them to the lobby, where they had to get out and show the guard a card.

“Ah Dazai! How are you doing?” Asked the woman standing Infront of the next elevator. “I’m doing okay, and yourself?” Replied Dazai. Atsushi was really hoping he didn’t run into his boyfriends parents and Kyoka was just in awe at the building. “I’m doing well, and who might these two be?” Questioned the women.

“The boy is atsushi and the girl is Kyoka, I hate to cut this short but we really just wanna go up, it’s been a long day.” Said Dazai, the women nodded and referenced for them to go up. Dazai put a key into the elevator before they stepped in and they all got on.

They stood in silence, without pressing any buttons the elevator went up. “But you didn’t press a button?” Asked Kyoka. Dazai nodded at her and crossed his arms. “The penthouse doesn’t have a button, the guard puts in a code, and I use a key. That’s what unlocks it.” Answers Dazai. Kyoka nodded wisely.

Dazai looked over to a shocked Atsushi. His eyes were wider then ever. He smirked a bit. The door opened and they were met with an empty apartment. Kyoka gasped at it, the stairs went up on both sides and in the middle was a beautiful fireplace and chairs. Dazai to his jacket off and put it On the hook. “Make yourselves at home please!” Said Dazai flamboyantly.

Dazai gave them a house tour including, the kids rooms which left not only Atsushi shocked but Kyoka too. “Anyways can I get you guys anything?” Asked Dazai. Kyoka raised her hand slightly, dazai nodded to get her to continue. “Are you chuuyas husband, and the aktugawas parents?” Questioned the young girl.

“Of course I am, didn’t you know?” Laughed Dazai. The two orphans gasped, even though he was just confirming what they already knew. Dazai was about to speak again when his phone rang, the contact said kunikida.

AUTHOR NOTE: they will return to the agency after an episode or two so don’t worry, I know kunikida was kind of an asshole in this chapter but because of his ideals and how he was about Kyoka in the anime I feel like this is probably some what like how he would react. He will apologize later.

Chapter Text

Of course I am, didn’t you know?” Laughed Dazai. The two orphans gasped, even though he was just confirming what they already knew. Dazai was about to speak again when his phone rang, the contact said kunikida.

Dazai looked up at the still upset Atsushi, and Kyoka before sighing. “It’s kunikida,I’ll be right back.” Said the man quietly before walking into the kitchen for privacy. He didn’t shut the door, behind him which was a mistake. The two kids followed him and hid behind the wall separating the two rooms to listen in.
“What do you want?”
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“Why did you phone me then? It was atsushi and yosano who you hurt.”
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“And what did she say to that?”
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“I guess that makes sense, I know Kouyou personally and I assure you she’s a nice women. She didn’t even want to be in the mafia in the first place but she couldn’t escape the darkness, that’s why she helped Kyoka get out. She doesn’t go out of her way to kill people for fun, it’s just a job to her.”
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“Through odasaku, remember Ranpo explained it a while ago.”
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“I appreciate that, but you need to talk to atsushi not me. I’m not gonna just fix this problem for you.”
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“He’s not in his dorm, neither is Kyoka. They are both staying with me at the moment.”
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“Just phone him.”
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“Bye.”
—————
Dazai hung up the phone and turned to the door, knowing of the two kids who had been listening in to the whole call. He smirked to himself and walked silently over to the door. He raised his arms out in front of himself and jumped out the door way.

Kyoka and Atsushi both yelled, Dazai started cackling. The two joined in after they realized it was just Dazai. The laughter was short lived. “Why didn’t you say anything when we were in the office about him?” Asked Kyoka.

Dazais heart rate quickened. He had always planned on telling Kyoka but every time an opportunity arose, he chickened out. Except now that she knew about chuuya, there was no way not to tell her. He thought of all of his options here, none of which make him look good.

“I don’t know, I was so close to saying it so many times. Not even just during that conversation but other times like when yosano told me about her and kouyou, Or when atsushi and I talked about ryuu. Hell, I even almost told Atsushi when I caught him and ryuu making out on the couch the other day but every time I get scared and change my mind.” Explained the Man, he considered leaving out the part of how he met chuuya in the mafia, but he realized if he didn’t say Anything at that moment he probably wouldn’t say anything ever.

“I didn’t meet him through odasaku, that’s what I told Ranpo to tell people if anybody asked. My past profession was bad to say the least.” Said Dazai, he could feel his heart rate Quickening and pounding against his rib cage. He let out a humourless laugh. “I’m not sure why I’m still trying to cover for myself, I’m the reason chuuya joined the mafia. He used to be the leader of the sheep, but I blackmailed him into Joining the port mafia. I used him, not that the sheep weren’t using him too.”

The two kids Infront of him didn’t look like they understood what he was implying, so he decided to point it out for them. “I was in the port mafia too” Said Dazai as he closed his eyes, not wanting to see their reactions. The man who almost never showed emotions other than happiness to people, was starting to break down.

“I understand, but I’m disappointed you didn’t tell me.” Said Kyoka quietly, Atsushi still hadn’t said anything. They just sat in silence, he didn’t want to say anything to dig his hole deeper.

They all sat awkwardly until atsushi finallly decided to speak up.”so the reason you know everyone is because you used to be in the mafia?” Confirmed the boy. Dazai nodded in reply.

“I left 6 years ago.” Said the bandaged man. “I had to go into hiding for two years to get a blank slate, which is why I joined the agency four years ago.” Explained the man. Neither of the two connected the dots that he was the demon prodigy, and he didn’t specify which he would later regret.

“I married him the week after I left.” Said Dazai, not that either of them asked. The room went back to silence, Dazai walked over to the couch and the two kids followed him.

“How old were you when you joined?” Asked atsushi, trying to give him a chance at redemption. “I was 9 years old.” Answered Dazai with an emotionless face. Atsushi and Kyoka both flinched at his reply.

“It’s okay tho-“
“Its not okay! You were a child!” Yelled atsushi. Dazais eyes widened in reply. “I forgive you for not telling me, I understand, I’m sorry for getting upset.” Said Kyoka. Dazai smiled softly and turned to atsushi who nodded in agreement to what Kyoka Said.

Dazais heart rate went back to normal, and a single tear dropped from his left eye, not that he noticed. Kyoka leaned over and wiped it off his face. “This has been a huge days for reveals huh?” Joked Dazai, the two smiled In reply.

“Does anyone want tea?” Asked Dazai, the two kids both shook their heads in reply. “What about my world famous hot chocolate?” Atsushi nodded immediately, since he had heard how good it was from his boyfriend. Kyoka didn’t quite understand his excitement but joined his nodding.

Dazai reached on to the counter and grabbed the remote, putting Disney plus on. He made a new account quickly and named it Kyoka before passing the remote over to them. He left the room and walked to the kitchen. He put on a cute apron(for no reason other then to look cute) and started making them.

He doesn’t usually drink hot chocolate but he decided to make himself one too. He checked the clock on the oven and saw that ryu would be home in 15 minutes so he chose to make him one as well. Chuuya wouldnt get home for another hour and a half, and gin wouldn’t be back until the next day so he only had to make the four mugs.

When he finished around ten minutes later he walked into the living room, with all of the beverages On a tray and sat down on the couch with the two kids. He passed one to both of them and then grabbed one for himself. “Why is there an extra?” Asked Kyoka.

“Ryu will be home in a couple minutes, and i know he’d be mad if I didn’t make him one too.” Replied Dazai as he took a sip of the hot chocolate. She hummed In response. The two kids took sips of the so called world famous hot choclate.

“Oh my god.” Said Atsushi and Kyoka in unison before they both started drinking it again. Dazai laughed at the pair. Dazai turned to face the screen and saw that they were watching a Cinderella. He raised an eyebrow at their movie choice.

“Atsushi hasn’t seen any Disney movies.” Explained Kyoka. Dazais jaw dropped. “Ryu hasn’t watched any with you? His favourite movie is the little mermaid.” Said Dazai with a shocked look on his face.

Kyoka giggled but atsushi just looked lost. “Wait, he said his favourite movie was the accountant?” Now Dazai joined in with Kyokas laughter. “I think he was trying to look cool.” Laughed the man.

They heard the door opening and all turned to face the noise. After about 20 seconds Ryuu spoke, still in the other room. “You’re watching Cinderella without me?! It’s one of my favourite movies!” Which caused the three in the living room to break out into laughter once more.

Ryuu ran into the room. “Kyoka, atsushi? What are you two doing here?” Asked ryuu quickly. Dazai got up and passed him his cup of hot chocolate.

“Kunikida was being a dick about yosano and atsushi dating port mafia members so I took Atsushi, Kyoka and left. They can’t stay in the dorms so they are gonna stay with us for a while.” Explained Dazai. Ryus face started to heat up.

“where is atsushi sleeping?” Asked the boy, whose face was now as red as a tomato. “Hm? I was thinking he would sleep in your room, but if not he can sleep in Kyokas room.” Said Dazai.

Atsushi and ryuu looked at eachother and nodded. “No I can sleep in his room, Kyoka can take the guest room.” Said atsushi who now also was blushing slightly. Dazai laughed a little, he knew they weren’t going to have sex but it was still funny watching them blush like little kids.

“Oh it’s not a guest room.” Said Dazai after realizing what atsushi had said. Kyoka raised an eyebrow.”what do you mean?” Dazai coughed in embarrassment after realizing neither of the two knew that he had made a room for Kyoka. “Uh nevermind it is.” He said awkwardly but now atsushi and Kyoka both looked unconvinced.

Dazai was known for being a great liar, but even he has his moments of weakness sometimes. “Chuuya and I were gonna ask Kyoka to move in with us, we thought it might help with her nightmares, and then she wouldn’t have to sleep in atsushis dorm.” Said the 24 year old who was now blushing, not even a minute after making fun of the teens for blushing.

Kyoka smiled and immediately jumped up.”really?!” She yelled In excitement. Dazai nodded, surprised at her reaction. He stood up too. “I can show you the room if you follow me.” He said as everyone followed him. The room was upstairs, next to chuuya and his. He opened The door and the rest of them walked in behind him.

“We painted it last night since I left work early to pick gin up, so chuuya left work early so we could do it all.” Said Dazai. Kyoka smiled at the brightly painted walls. “If you wanted to live with us chuuya is picking up the bed frame tonight, the rest of the stuff you could pick.” Said Dazai with his fingers mentally crossed.

Kyoka turned around to Face him and gave the man a huge hug. It caught him off guard but he quickly returned the hug.”so I take it that’s a yes?” Joked Dazai. The girl nodded swiftly.

The group went back downstairs and finished the last part of the movie. By the time it was over it was getting close to when chuuya was supposed to get back. Dazai checked his phone to make sure there was no missed calls or texts from chuuya. Right when he turned the phone off his phone started ringing. He answered immediately, to his suprised it wasn’t chuuya on the phone. It was kouyou.

“Hey ane-san, what’s up?”
“Yosano told me what happened, how are the kids?”
“They’re fine, I told them I was in the mafia, and asked Kyoka to move in with us.”
“That’s awesome Dazai, did kunikida phone you guys too?”
“He phoned me but not atsushi.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know I told him too, but I’ve been with atsushi the whole time and he hasn’t gotten a call.”
“That’s weird, anyways that’s not what I wanted to call you about, chuuya and I just picked up the mattress and bed frame since he needed to borrow my truck. We need you to come help us grab it so we don’t have to take two trips.”
“Alright alright I’m coming.”

Dazai hung up the phone and explained where he was going to the kids before grabbing his key and heading downstairs. He was met with not only chuuya and kouyou, but yosano.

“Kouyou explained everything to me.” Said the doctor. Dazai tried to speak but was cut off before he got the chance. “ I’m pissed of that you didn’t say you were married to chuuya, but i kind of understand why, considering you were the demon prodigy.” Said yosano.

“I don’t care about your past, just as you don’t care about mine. I wish you could’ve been the one to tell me so that I could’ve been there for you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be there for you now.” Comforted the woman. Dazai smiled at her before looking at the parts of the bed frame.

“Holy shit, what size bed did you get?” Asked Dazai as he went over to the parts. Chuuya scoffed at him. “A queen, it’s not that big, you help yosano carry the mattress and Kouyou and I will grab the bed frame.” Said chuuya as he started grabbing pieces.

Dazai and yosano did as told and went up first with the mattress, the security guard immediately helped them through. During the elevator ride it was mostly silence. “I’m sorry yosano, you gave me so many chances.” Whispered Dazai.

Yosano moved from around the mattress so that she could see him. “I know, it’s okay. And don’t worry, Kouyou told me not to mention the demon prodigy thing to anybody.” Dazai thanked her and they went back to being silent.

When the door opened they shuffled into the apartment. They decided to leave it at the front entrance instead of taking it up the stairs since chuuya could just use his ability to take it up. He gave yosano a tour of the apartment, leaving the kitchen and living room to the end.

“Hi kids.” Smiled yosano. They looked surprised to see her there. But they all said hi back nonetheless.

Chuuya and kouyou came into the room next. The group visited for about 15 minutes before chuuya and kouyou left to go make dinner. They decided to just put another movie on to pass the time. Ryu picked sleeping beauty, not that anyone was suprised.

When they were called into the dining room for dinner , they all laughed and talked together as they ate. Kouyou and yosano ended up staying until late that night. When they left yosano pulled Dazai aside to have a conversation about the ADA.

“So are you guys going to work tomorrow? I know Ranpo and I am but I would understand if you didn’t want the kids going.” Said yosano. Dazai nodded politely in reply. “I am going because I need to talk to kunikda and explain all the paperwork about relationships and such. I haven’t talked to them yet about it, but I assume they will want to stay home if given the option.” Answered Dazai.

He looked down and saw his bandage was unravelling so he quickly fixed it before raising his head again. “I’m gonna let ryu and gin stay home too, they can have a Disney marathon.” Said Dazai as he straightened his shirt out. Yosano agreed and told him it was a good idea before kouyou came to the door.

“It was nice seeing everyone Dazai, we should do this again soon.” Said kouyou as she pulled the bandaged man into a hug. He agreed.

The two women left together, hand in hand to go back to kouyous apartment. Dazai went into the living room where everyone was now sitting.

“So are you three wanting to take the day off tomorrow? Gin is coming back in the morning so you can all watch movies.” Said Dazai. The three immediately agreed, excited at the idea. “I still have to go to work to talk to kunikida about relationships and such.” Whined Dazai. Chuuya laughed at him. “I’m taking tomorrow off too.” Said chuuya.

Dazai groaned as the rest of them laughed. Atsushi and Ryu went to their room which reminded Dazai that they never set Kyokas bed up. Kyoka must’ve realized his thought because she spoke up.” I can sleep on the couch for tonight.” But chuuya shook his head. “You can sleep in gins room for the night, we can set your bed up tomorow.”

Kyoka nodded and went into the teenage girls room. When the two immortals were left alone they moved closer so that they were cuddling.

“I’m happy everything worked out.” Revealed the red headed man. Dazai agreed. “Lets go to bed, it’s getting late.” Said Dazai as he lifted his husband up bridal style. Chuuya giggled at the sudden action. “Stop im too heavy!” Laughed the smaller man. Dazai shook his head quickly. “You’re lighter then a feather.”

Dazai carried him the whole way up satire and laid chuuya on the bed before leaving to shower and change bandages. By the time he was done his husband was sleeping so he lied down next to him and went to bed himself.

Chapter Text

Dazai woke up in the arms of his husband. He groans and turns around so he’s now face to face with chuuya. “Don’t make me go.” Whispered Dazai. Chuuyas grip around his waist tightened. “It was your idea.” Laughed the red head.

“Yeah but you’re supposed to know me better then everyone else, including me.” Groaned Dazai. Chuuya finally opened his eyes to make eye contact with Dazai. “Just come home after you finish the meeting.” Suggested chuuya.

Dazai sighed knowing he was right. He looked past chuuyas messy hair to look at the alarm clock. The time read 8:13 so he decided it was time to get up. He sat up in bed before leaning over and kissing chuuyas head and cheek.

“I love you, have a nice day.” Said chuuya, as he started to fall back asleep. Dazai changed his bandages and started to get dressed. He put his pants and shirt on before leaving the walking closet. He looked over at chuuya and smiled at his sleeping form before leaving the room quietly.

He started buttoning up his shirt as he walked down the stairs. He was about halfway done buttoning up the shirt by the time he reached the living room. So atsushi and Kyoka who were both so used to waking up early were both awake in the living room, saw that even his torso was covered in bandages.

The two kids tried not to look, but both of them did a terrible job. Dazai said good morning to the two before slipping away into the kitchen to finish buttoning up his shirt. He was so used to not needing to worry about people in the house seeing him that he had completely forgotten.

When he finished he walked over to the fridge to grab his bento chuuya made for him. He then leaned over and grabbed an ice pack to put in the bag with his bento. Most days he disappears from the office without telling anyone where he’s going so that he can go sit in his car and eat his lunch without getting made fun of. But now that everyone knows he’s married he decided that he’s gonna bring it into the office with him.

He walks back through the living room to say goodbye to atsushi and Kyoka for the day. “Gin will be home in an hour. Ryu and chuuya both get up around 9:30 on off days so you probably won’t see them for a while. I’m not great at cooking but I can make you guys toast or something before I go?” Said Dazai as he put his vest on top of his button up.

“That’s okay.” Said atsushi as he leaned over to grab the remote to press pause on their movie. Dazai reached into his wallet and pulled out a debit card. “Can I see your phone?” Asked the immortal man. Atsushi looked reluctant but gave it to him anyways. Dazai dowloaded skip the dishes on his phone and put in all of his debit card information on it.

“Alright, well if you guys get hungry then you can just order something. You’ll have to pick it up In the lobby but it’s still easier then making something.” Explained Dazai. The lanky man left the room without saying another word, before returning with a key in his hand. He handed it to atsushi.

“Thanks Dazai.” Said the two kids in unison. Dazai walked to the front door and put his shoes and jacket on before leaving. He checked his phone while riding the elevator, and saw one missed text from Ranpo. It read ‘you owe me a treat.’

Dazais eyebrows furrowed, confuses at the statement. Ranpo hadn’t done much for him recently other then steal his credit card, unless their including Ranpo not saying anything the day before about his relationship with chuuya. But he hadn’t said anything about Ranpos relationship with Edgar either so shouldn’t they be even?

He just huffed and turned his phone off before putting it back in his pocket. When the elevator hit the bottom he got out and gave a quick greeting to the security guard. The bandaged man walked over to the other elevator that goes down the garage and went down. He got into his car and drove to work while blasting some loud tunes.

The traffic wasn’t too bad but it was still inconvenient. He ended up deciding to stop at Starbucks and get a frappe. He got one for Ranpo too since he apparently owed the man.

he pulled into the parking garage near his work, and paid the tole quickly before speed walking to the office. It only took about five minutes so by the time he reached the office it was about 9am.

The man walked up slowly, dreading the discussion he would have to have with kunikida. When he opened the door he was met with a freaking out kenji. “She has such a cute umbrella!” Exclaimed the boy.

Yosano laughed at him. “ I don’t actually know the story behind that, she only uses it In the sun so she might be a vampire.” Joked the woman. Dazai decided to intercept the conversation, since they hadn’t noticed him yet. “The umbrella has a hidden sword in it, for if she needed to rely on something other than her ability.”lExplained the man.

“Though she’s only had to use it a couple times, usually because of me.” Thought the man out loud to himself. The group all looked up to face Dazai, all with different sorts of emotions. Kenji has excitement, yosano had a playful look, and kunikida looked insecure.

“Hey Dazai, I was just telling them about kouyou.” Said yosano. Dazai nodded as he put his bag down on his desk, wanting to make kunikida feel guilty. Kunikida sighed and walked over to Dazai as he was putting stuff away at his desk.

“I am sorry for the way I reacted yesterday afternoon. That was uncalled for and rude, I hope you can forgive me.” Yelled the man as he bowed. Dazai giggled a bit at the man. “It’s okay kunikida.” Said Dazai as he pat kunikidas shoulder.

Kunikida sighed in relief at Dazai. “Thank god.” He muttered which caused not only Dazai but Ranpo to giggle. Yosano and Kunikida both looked at them like they were crazy. After a couple more seconds of laughter yosano started laughing too, under the impression they were joking about chuuya.

After the laughter was over Dazai took a sip of his drink before noticing he still had the drink for Ranpo, so he handed it over to the man. Ranpo took it from his hands without saying another word. He just took the straw, put it in the drink and started sipping away.

“What do I owe you for anyways?” Question Dazai, with genuine confusion. Ranpo looked up from the drink.”oh nothing, I just knew you’d be going to Starbucks this morning so I told you that you owe me so you’d get me something at Starbucks too.” Explained the man with a content look in his face.

Dazai cursed, surprised that he hadn’t caught on to Ranpos trick. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” Pouted Dazai. “So, yosano told me that their is a contract for relationships? I was hoping you could explain how that works to me?” Said kunikida as he opened his notebook and clicked his pen.

“Oh sure, it’s quite simple actually. So both sides tell their boss or one of the higher ups and they will give you a form, you basically just fill it out and send it back in. After around a week or so they will send it back to you. It’s suggested you keep a copy handy with you at all times to show your boss/one of the higher ups if they try to put you up against your significant other.” Explained Dazai taking the occasional sip from his drink.

Kunikda nodded along with everything he said, writing it all down along the way. “Why haven’t I heard of it before?” Asked kunikida, pen still making contact with paper. “Oh well it’s more for the safety of the port mafia members, since there’s a lot more of them, everyone might not know about a relationship. At the ADA there is way less people so they could just tell everyone that they are dating without needing the paper. Both sides having the form is just extra proof it’s real.” Said Dazai.

Kunikidas eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“That doesn’t really answer my question ,why weren’t we told about it though?” Questioned kunikida. Dazai finished his drink with one last long sip before throwing the cup into the garbage. He turned back around to the group and walked back to his desk. Once he had taken a seat he answered kunikida question.

“Well technically speaking yosano and atsushi didn’t know there was a form since it’s mostly kept on the down low, i did it for them without either of them needing to tell me. I found out about both of their relationships and had a meeting with Mori to discuss their relationships and fill out forms.” Said Dazai as he put his feet up on the table. Kunikida nodded, happy with the answer he was given. When he finished writing he closed the notebook.

“So the form was created during that meeting?” Said kunikida. The man quickly opened his notebook again, ready to write down whatever Dazai says. “Huh?of course not, it was created when I married chuuya six years ago.” Laughed Dazai before getting up. Kunikidas jaw dropped but Dazai spoke again before kunikida got the chance. “Anyways I have to go put my bento that he made in the fridge, I don’t want it to get warm.” Sung Dazai as he exited the room.

By the time Dazai had gotten back, kunikida still hadn’t moved from the position he was in earlier. He walked up the man and poked his cheek. “Kunikida~ your face is gonna stick like that.” Joked the bandaged man. That knocked kunikida out of his trance like state.

“Since when are you married to the gravity manipulator?” Yelled the man as he broke his pen. Dazai put his pointy finger to his lip, to show that he was thinking.”well we were sort of on and off in our teen years but then I proposed when I turned 18 so about 6 1/2 years.” Said Dazai, obviously not wanting to tell them the real number since that would give away his immortality.

“Why didn’t you say anything at the time?” Wondered kunikida out loud. When he realized that he had said it out loud he freaked out.”no I just meant when I was yelling at everyone you defended Atsushi but you never said it was because you were in a relationship with nakahara.” Screamed kunikida, trying to cover for himself. Dazai frowned at the mans outburst, because he knew what he did was wrong.

“I know It was wrong of me not to say something while everyone else was, but I was scared you might react differently towards my relationship seeing as chuuya is not only one half of soukoku but also immortal.” Said Dazai as a half truth. After Dazai explained that it clicked in everybody’s heads who chuuya actually was, which caused kunikida to shiver.

Kunikida was silent for a minute before he realized his silence was rude. “It doesn’t matter as long as you’re happy.wait, When you called nakahara ren your mom, you meant mother in law?”Inquired kunikida. Dazai nodded with a playful smile on his face.

“Yeah, she’s been there for us through everything.” Said Dazai while pulling his phone out. He went into photos and scrolled back to when they were teens. He picked a photo of the three of them standing together on the pier. Dazai showed everyone the photo.

Kenji grabbed the phone excitedly. “He had the cool hat back then too!!” Exclaimed the boy. Kunikida chuckled at his joy. Kenji passed kunikida the phone so he could look. Kunikidas eyebrows raised at the photo. “You still had bandages back then? And one Over your right eye? Was it injured?” Asked kunikida quickly.

Dazai shrugged at all the questions. “I guess, I’ve had them for quite a few years. And the eye thing was because of a stupid accident, not that it matters.” Explained Dazai. Now it was yosanos turn to ask questions.

“Dazai im your doctor, I know you don’t want to tell me what’s under your bandages and I respect that. But if there was an injury that caused you to cover your eye for a minimum of a year, and don’t try to deny it because kouyou showed me a photo of you a year after this, then it was probably a bad injury. Can I take a look and do some tests of your vision?” Asked the woman with genuine concern as she started to walk over to Dazai.

Ranpo giggled a bit, not that it was really a laughing matter. “Dazais eye healed completely, but he can’t see out of it at all, he’s Blind in that eye.” Answered Ranpo as he plopped a lollipop In his mouth. The majority of the room gasped at the new information. “You’re blind? And you never once thought to tell your fucking doctor?” Yelled yosano.

“Technically I’m only blind in one eye, and it’s been 8 years so I’ve learned to live with it. I can still do everything you can.” Said Dazai In an extremely defensive tone. Yosano just sighed at the man child. She put her hand on his shoulder. “That’s not what I meant, it just would’ve been good to know.” Whispered the women so only people close could hear.

Yosano moved her hand up to his cheek as she closely inspected his eye. Dazais contact was expensive so no purple should’ve been peaking through but he still felt his heart drop. “It healed beautifully though, I wouldn’t have guessed that something had happened to it.” Muttered the woman as she looked closer.

Dazai laughed awkwardly.”I wear a contact to cover it.” Said Dazai, technically not lying. She nodded in understanding.

“So Dazai, you’ve been gone basically all week, you have a bunch of paperwork to catch up on.” Said kunikida, interrupting the silence. Dazai groaned audibly which caused everyone to laugh.

Chapter Text

By the time Dazai had finally finished all the missing paperwork, kunikida had fainted twice from shock. Dazai didn’t usually complete any of his paperwork, so the fact that he sat down and completed all of it took the office by surprised. Of course the reason he did it was so he could go home and brag about how he was the only one two actually do something that day, but nobody at the office had to know that.

“All done.” Sighed Dazai as he laid back in his chair. He checked the time on his phone and realized it was 3 in the afternoon so he decided to head home. The bandaged man said his farewells to the remaining detectives and then he left.

When he left the building he walked fast towards his car so he could get home as soon as possible. He wondered how
Much money they spent on food to spite him, not that it really mattered due to his wealth. Once he was In the car, he started driving back to his apartment.

The man considered stopping for crepes but he realized that they had probably already ordered some, and if they hadn’t he could just order them later. Dazai rushed up the moment he got to the building, the moment the elevator door opened he was met with singing. It wasn’t good singing, it was loud and off key. But he loved them with all of his being so it was music to his ears.

He walked quietly into the doorway by the living room, the sight he was met with surely was something. Chuuya was standing on the couch with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders while he sung his heart out, Kyoka was standing on the arm chair across from chuuya though she wasn’t singing it was clear she was having fun, atsushi and ryuu were both singing and dancing on the floor, and gin was sitting beside chuuya on the couch recording the whole thing.

He wasn’t surprised to see them singing, nor was he surprised they were singing let it go from frozen, what surprised him was that the amount of junk food wrappers that were around the group of people. There were candy wrappers, about twenty different bags of chips all 75% full, empty cans of pop, it looked like something out of Ranpos apartment which was scary.

He stood there with a content look on his face until the song was over. chuuya and Kyoka sat in unison, each with a loud huff. Atsushi and ryuu laid down on the floor, and gin just put her phone down. He decided to walk into the room and pretend he had just got home as to not embarrass them. Though of course he would get the video from gin later.

“Hey.” Said Dazai as he finally appeared in front of everyone. Chuuya smiled and stood up. The redhead walked over to Dazai and gave him a kiss on the cheek and a hug. “I am so full, I’ll never eat again.” Chuckled chuuya into his ear.

“Yeah I can see that, it looks like Ranpo was here.”laughed Dazai, the rest of them joined. Chuuya held Dazais hand and pulled him over to the couch. “Kyoka and atsushi havent ever had the chance to really be Kids and eat shit tons of junk food so I thought why not.” Shrugged chuuya.

Dazai nodded in understanding. He snuggled into his husbands arms as Atsushi pushed play on the movie again. By the time it was Over Kyoka had fallen asleep and an hour had passed. Atsushi stood up and yawned. “Can I please get a glass of water.” Asked the weretiger as he itched his cheek. Chuuya nodded.”I told you that you don’t have to ask, just take whatever you want atsushi.” Said chuuya with a bit of a scold.

Atsushi laughed and nodded as he exited the room. Dazai got up and followed him. “So how are you liking it here?” Asked Dazai. His sudden question caught atsushi by surprise so he dropped the cup on the floor. It shattered immediately and atsushi bowed and started spurting out
all sorts of apology’s. Dazai put his hand on atsushis shoulder.”atsushi, it’s just a cup and It doesn’t matter, I’m just happy you didn’t hurt yourself.” Said Dazai softly.

Dazai looked down and saw that atsushis didn’t have shoes, unlike himself so he picked the boy up bridal style and lifted him onto the island. He then walked over to grab the broom and started sweeping. “I’m sorry I can go get shoes and clean it up.” Yelled atsushi, which caused chuuya to come into the room.

“Is everything okay in here?” Said a concerned chuuya, whose head was just barely peaking around the corner. Dazai turned to face his husband and nodded with a bright smile. “Yep he just dropped a cup, I’m cleaning it up. You can go back into the living room.” Explained Dazai. Chuuya left the room and Dazai went back to sweeping.

“Atsushi it’s really not a big deal, but you never answered my question. Do you like it here?” Asked Dazai. Atsushi nodded eagerly. It caused Dazai to smile full heartedly. “I’m glad.” Said Dazai as he leaned over to use the dust pan. When he finished sweeping it in he put it in a plastic bag, and then into the trash.

“Do I have to go back to the agency tomorrow?” Inquired atsushi. Dazai turned to face the boy so he could read his face. He didn’t look like he wanted to go, so dazais answer was set. “You can if you want, but you don’t have to. Though I should let you know I talked to kunikida and told him all about chuuya and the form that gets signed, he understands and isn’t mad anymore.” Said Dazai.

The tall lanky man went to the cupboard and pulled out two glasses of water. He filled them with ice and water before handing one to atsushi. Atsushi took a giant sip before wiping his face and speaking. “I want to go, I just don’t want kunikida to be angry with me.” Pouted atsushi.

He looked like a sad cat, which caused Dazai to laugh at. Atsushi looked startled. “I assure you he isn’t mad anymore , it was a lapse in judgement.” Said Dazai while taking a sip of water. Atsushi got off of the island.”thank you for letting me stay here Dazai, I’ll go back to work tomorow, and I’ll go back to the dorms.” Said atsushi.

The boy started to leave the room when Dazai said wait. “You can stay here if you want.” Suggested Dazai. Atsushi looked at him like a crazy person. “No I couldn’t, I’ve already caused you enough trouble as is.” Said atsushi, though it was clear he wanted to.

“It’s not a hassle, chuuya and I have more then enough space and money to host you here.” Said Dazai glad that he had caught atsushis attention. The boy walked back into the room and sat down on one of the stools. “But what if ryu doesn’t want me here?”wondered atsushi out loud. Dazai scoffed.

“Of course he does, he gets so excited when he’s texting you, and is practically beaming when you come over. If it’s that big of a deal you could always just sleep in the extra room.” Suggested Dazai. Atsushi looked confused at what Dazai had just said. “You said there wasn’t a guest room?” Questioned Atsushi.

Dazai sat down beside atsushi. “There is, It just has my grand piano in it, I can always move it to my room or the front entrance.” Said Dazai. Atsushi looked conflicted on whether he wanted to or not. The boy kept silent for about 5 minutes before finally speaking. “I appreciate the offer Dazai but I think I’d rather stay in the dorms for a while longer. It’s just a really big step in our relationship that I don’t think I’d be ready for.” Explained atsushi.

Dazai smiled softly at the boy, he knew atsushi would say no but he had still hoped. Dazai and atsushi took it as the end of their conversation and both got up. “Well if you ever change your mind or even just want to spend the night, you’re always welcome here.” Said the man confidently before leaving the room, atsushi followed soon after.

When they got back to the living room everyone was arguing, not about anything important but about who is the best Disney Princess. Many strange and violent statements were thrown around.
“You ignorant fuck head, it’s Mulan.”
“Mulan isn’t a fucking princess dipshit, it’s Cinderella, rags to riches you gotta love it.”
“Rags to riches is nothing in comparison to a fucking mermaid gin.”
“I like Elsa, she’s pretty.”
“I like Elsa too I’d smash.”
“Gin.”

Dazai just laughed like a madman at the scene Infront of him. “ lets all agree to disagree.” Said Dazai making an attempt
To keep the peace, he didn’t want to scare Kyoka off on the first full day she spent with them. Chuuya took a deep breath before turning to the two male detectives. “What were you guys talking about?” Asked the redhead.

Atsushi looked uncomfortable so Dazai answered. “We were talking about if he was going to go back to work tomorow or not.” Said Dazai as he went to sit down with his husband.

“And what did he decide?” Asked chuuya. The smaller man put the blanket over both of their legs. “He’s going, he’s also going back to the dorms. But he has an open invitation to come her whenever he wants.” Said Dazai before chuuya could cut him off.

Kyoka looked up at atsushi before telling the group her plan. “I’m going to go to work too then, But I’ll be living with Dazai and chuuya.” Said the girl with a flat
Voice. Dazai nodded and smiled at her.

Since the conversation was over Dazai grabbed the remote, he went on to Kyokas Disney plus account and put frozen 2 on. “We might as well watch the second one.” Said Dazai. The bandaged man pressed play before leaving to go to his room. He quickly got changed and put new bandages on(his prada ones). Once he was done he went back downstairs and sat down again next to chuuya. This time he pulled the blanket up to their necks instead of their legs because he was cold.

Even though everyone had work the next day, they watched movies until midnight. The majority of them had been trained to work on low hours of sleep, but atsushi wasn’t, so everyone laughed at the thought of how tired atsushi was going to be tomorrow.

AUTHORS NOTE: I didn’t say who was saying what in the argument, I’m just gonna leave that to your imagination.

Chapter Text

Dazai woke up to his husbands alarm. He opened his eyes just to glare at the back of chuuyas head. He knew he had to get up earlier then usual since he was taking atsushi and Kyoka with him to work, but it still sucked. “Do I have to?” Muttered a half asleep Dazai. Chuuya laughed and pulled the covers off of the both of them, causing The bandaged man to get hit with a whoosh of cold air.

“Fuck you.” Said Dazai as he finally sat up, he looked at the clock and it said 6:30. “I want a divorce.” Whined Dazai. Chuuya cackled at the man before also sitting up. “You’ve married me like 200 times though? So I’m pretty sure you don’t.” Jokes chuuya.

Dazai got up fully and stretched his arms.”I was trying to keep the romance alive, getting married every 50 years tends to do that.” Yawned the taller man. Dazai walked off before he could hear chuuyas reply. He went into their walk in closet and got dressed. The moment he exited out of the walk in closet a pillow got chucked at his face.

Dazai dodged of course, but that’s not to say he wasn’t suprised. He ran over to the bed and tackled chuuya. Once he was on top of him he just went dead weight, knowing chuuya couldn’t use his ability. “You shithead, get off!! You’re heavy.” Yelled chuuya. Dazai burst into laughter but didn’t get off.

He just stayed like that for a moment before there was a knock on the door. Dazai yelled come in. Kyoka opened the door and peaked in. “I heard yelling?” Said the small girl. Nobody needed to speak for her to understand what had happened. She closed the door and left after a moment of awkward silence.

The two immortals laughed at her awkwardness. Dazai sighed heavily before realizing he should probably just get up. Chuuya ended up following after him. They walked downstairs and were met with a comfortable silence. The kids were all eating cereal quietly, which in most houses might be normal, but in dazais chaotic house? It was frightening.

Dazai walked into the kitchen and grabbed an apple from the fridge before looking over suspiciously at the kids. “What happened?” Asked Dazai. Atsushi flinched. Dazai turned to him knowing he would be the weak link.

“I’m not mad or anything, just curious as to what happened to make everyone act like this.”said Dazai, though he had a gut feeling it had to do with kunikida. Atsushi looked away from Dazai, in a sad attempt to keep his innocence but he had already caught on.

Dazai kept looking at him for about 30 seconds before Atsushi broke. “Kunikida called me and asked if I was coming into work and where I was, and so I said I was coming but that I was at my boyfriends house. Then he asked me why I left your house, and I told him I didn’t so I think he knows your ryuus dad.” Blurted our atsushi. Dazai chuckled at atsushis reaction.

“It’s not that big of a deal, he probably just thinks to lied to him about your whereabouts.” Said Dazai. Atsushi let out a sigh of relief. He looked at the rest of the kids and saw that ryuu and gin were both on their phones. “Off your phones.” Said Dazai, not offering them a choice.

Ryuu looked up at him with doe eyes.”it’s work related.”complained ryuu. Dazai looked to gin and she said the same thing. Chuuya walked into the room, now in his normal work outfit instead of the pink silk Pyjamas.

“I need the car today, I’m carpooling with Kouyou and she doesn’t want to have to find parking with her truck.” Said chuuya, the short man started a pot of coffee. “But I have atsushi and Kyoka, we have work on the other side of town.” Said Dazai, wondering how his husband hadn’t thought about them.

Chuuya swore. “Shit I didn’t think about that, usually you and I can just switch. I can drop you guys off and pick you and Kyoka up later?” Suggested the red head. Dazai looked at atsushi and Kyoka for confirmation, the two kids nodded so Dazai agreed.

Chuuya checked the time on his phone. “Fuck I have to be at kouyous in an hour, and you guys are a 20 minute drive from here, and she’s 10 in the opposite direction from here, that gives us 10 minutes till we have to leave then.” Figured our chuuya. Dazai has already figured it out when chuuya first suggested it but nodded anyways.

Dazai suggested that the group leave, so that if there was traffic chuuya could be on time, they agreed so everyone except the aktugawas left. Once they were all in the car chuuya started driving. It was probably one of the first times the steering wheel and pedals had actually been used.

During the car ride they listened to many early 2000s bops, not that atsushi or kyoka knew many of the words. Once the ADA was in sight Dazai noticed that kunikida was walking towards the building. They would probably end up there at the same time. He sighed at the thought, but it wasn’t like he was gonna tell chuuya to turn around so he just sucked it up.

Chuuya pulled over, coincidentally next to kunikida who was walking. Atsushi and Kyoka slid out of the back of the car and Dazai opened his door and stepped out. Before he closed the door he leaned in for a kiss. When he finally turned back around he was met with a jaw dropped kunikida.

“What is it kunikida?” Asked Dazai flamboyantly. The man with glasses just sputtered. “That’s am extremely expensive car.” Stayed kunikida. Dazai laughed. “Yes it’s my husbands car, he was dropping us off.” Replied Dazai, not wanting to give away his true wealth quite yet. Kunikida took his answer and turned to head into the building. The three of them followed close behind.

When they Reached the office they were the only four there. Everyone went to their respective places and sat in silence until yosano got there next. The woman was the one who spoke first. “Why is it called god tier if there isn’t other tiers? And what makes someone god tier?”

Dazai knew someone was going to ask eventually, he just wasn’t sure who. He put his hand on his chin to show that he was thinking. “Well technically there are other tiers, it’s just something mostly used by the special abilities division and port mafia to rank their users, so you guys wouldn’t have heard about it other Than the 7 God tiers.” Explained Dazai. Kunikida pulled out his notebook and write it down.

“Can you explain the tiers?” Asked kunikda, pen still in hand. Dazai pondered for a moment before shaking his head. “I will when more people show up, it’s probably for the best since we are up against 2 god tier ability users right now.” Said the man.

The four people agreed with him. Dazai pulled out his phone and started typing quickly, not taking a break for 20 minutes until everyone had showed up. He looked up at kunikida and nodded. “Dazai will be explaining the tiers of ability’s used by the port mafia and special ability’s devision.” Said kunikida. Dazai told everyone to head into the conference room so he could use the projector.

“Alrighty, I just made a quick power point to show you guys, so sorry if it isn’t great I had late notice.” Said Dazai as he connected his phone to the screen, the page read’getting to know the tiers, a power point by dazai osamu’ which caused everyone to giggle a bit.

The first thing to show up was a brief explanation of every tier. The tiers were made based on someone’s usefulness in combat and overall strength.

Basic tier- the lowest level of ability users, these people don’t have very strong ability’s and mostly would use it for something simple as lighting a candle per say.

Semi basic tier- this tier is the second lowest due to its usefulness in combat, even if they are weak they could still be used to help, for example making someone blind for five seconds..

Average tier- this is where the majority of the gifted sit, it’s nothing too strong, which is why it’s called average. Against other average users it could get deadly between the two, but against someone higher they are incredibly weak.

Stable tier- stronger then your average ability user, longer endurance ,tends to have a power up of sorts, tends to have drawbacks.

Advanced tier- the user has different levels of their ability they can unleash, getting more and more strong with each.

Demi god tier- this tier is very much like the advanced tear, just stronger, and longer endurance. They tend to heal 10% quicker then other ability users.

God tier: this tier of ability users is stronger then all of the other ones combined. The users are immortal. Their ability’s have two phases of strength, one being their normal form, and the other being their final form.

Kunikida wrote down everything Dazai said. “What tier are we? My ability isn’t really for combat so I’m probably semi basic.” Said Tanizaki. Naomi jumped
in her brothers arms. “You’re super strong. You always protect me.” Stated the teenage girl. Tanizaki nodded.

“I thought you guys might ask that, so I already sorted all of you depending on what ango from the special ability’s devision said.” Explained Dazai. He switched slides on the screen . The screen now showed what appeared to be a scale. On one end was basic tier and at the other was god tier.

Stable tier: kunikida, Kyoka, kenji, ranpo

Advanced tier: atsushi, tanazaki, Dazai

Demi god tier: yosano, The president.

“Any questions?” Asked Dazai. Tanizaki looked absolutely shocked by his placement on the screen. “That can’t be right? My ability’s not strong in combat.” Said tanizaki. Dazai scoffed. “Of course it’s right, the tiers are mostly used to show someone’s use in combat, it’s secondary purpose is it show someone’s strength, so it really shows something that you’re up there. Plus I don’t know who told you you’re ability couldn’t be used for combat, it’s amazing and would be extremely useful.”

Tanizaki seemed to be extremely touched by dazais words, he muttered a thank you which caused the ex-mafisco to smile. The rest of the group didn’t seem to be to surprised by their placement, though Ranpo did make a comment about how he should’ve been higher.

Dazai of course put himself lower on the list then he should’ve been, since they didn’t know the full extent of his ability. Kunikida said Dazais name breaking him out of his trance.”whats the power difference in tiers? And what are the god tier ability users forms you mentioned earlier?” Asked kunikida.

Dazai turned the screen off, since he no longer had a use for it before sitting down at the table.”basic tier is 1, semi basic is 2, average is 3, stable is 4, advanced is 5, Demi God is 6, god tier is 10. The power gap between most of the tiers isn’t too large other then the god tier. They are way stronger then the rest of us. The forms on the other hand are like a transformation Almost, take my husband for example. He looks normal when he uses his ability, then his final form which is called corruption causes a large mark to form on his skin, it also makes him loose all control so he tends to not use it. His ability is strong enough without his final form so it’s not too big of a deal.” Explained the bandaged man. He was starting to get tired of all the questions, but knew if he didn’t get it over with now, he’d have to do it later.

“You said there are seven god tier ability users? How do you know that.” Questioned kunikida. Dazai sighed heavily while resting his head on his hand. “There can only be 7 co-existing at the same time. So when a god tier ability user dies, either a random baby getting born will receive their powers, or they have they choice to reincarnate right there as a three month baby.” Said Dazai.

Kenjis eyes widened.” Thats super cool! How do they die if they are immortal though?” Asked the boy. Dazai moved his hand back into his lap, he started to pick anxiously at the ends of his bandages. “Every God tier ability users has certain circumstances that cause their deaths, for example chuuya dies if he uses corruption too long, and love craft dies if he gets blown up from the inside in final form. The rest of the ability users causes are unknown. Most god tier ability users don’t find out what kills them until the day it does.” Said Dazai in an extremely lazy voice.

The man sits up straight. “I only told you guys the thing about chuuya because it’s known by most people, and it’s not really a weakness since he doesn’t use it often.” Said Dazai after realizing his mistake.

Kunikida finished up with whatever he was writing in his notebook. Dazai stood up and looked around the room. “So is there any more questions or can we go back to work.” Atsushi looked reluctant to raise his hand after hearing Dazais annoyed voice but he did nonetheless.

“Kyoka mentioned this a while back, do god tier ability users have different coloured eyes? Chuuyas mom had pink eyes and he had almost glowing blue eyes.” Asked Atsushi. Dazai thought this was common knowledge but he decided to humour the boy.

“All seven god tier ability users have different coloured eyes, it’s one of the main physical differences they have so it’s what law enforcement uses to differentiate them from normal ability users, that’s not to say they can just wear contacts though.” Said Dazai, since he himself wears brown contacts to cover his purple eyes.

Atsushi nodded in understanding, so
Dazai exited the room. He doesn’t like to talk about it often because it just reminds him he can’t die, which isn’t something he wants to remember.

Everyone else follows close behind and they all go to their desks to complete paperwork and stuff, since it isn’t a busy day. Ranpo placed a bag of candy on dazais desk knowing all too well what was going on in the suicidal mans head.

Usually when he gave Dazai something it was an offering, since they joked that he would get good luck and good fortune for giving a god tier ability user an offering. Obviously it didn’t, but the joke stuck with them.

Dazai smiled at the smart man, glad his friend understood him. Kunikida walked over to atsushis desk. “So what was that weird call about this morning? Asked the man. Atsushi froze.

Dazai scoffed at the boy. “He was at my apartment.” Said the immortal man. Kunikida looked unimpressed with Dazai answering for him. “He told me he was at his boyfriends.” Said kunikida. The man with glasses looked over at atsushi waiting for the boy to give in and be honest.

“He was at his boyfriends.” Confirmed Dazai, which of course left kunikida in a confused state. “You just said he was at your apartment?” Asked kunikida, who was now completely lost.

“He was, and so was his boyfriend,I’m the aktugawas legal guardian.” AnSwered Dazai. Kunikida dropped his precious notebook of ideals. “What?” Yelled the man. He walked up quickly so that he was now back at Dazais desk. “ since when?” Asked kunikida.

Dazai laughed at the memory.” I was 15 and chuuya and I were hanging out, then we saw two little 6 year old kids. We walked up to them and ryuu latched onto my leg. He eventually let go so chuuya and I left. But then when chuuya left j went back from them and took them home. Chuuya was surprised to say the least.” Said Dazai. After he told them he realized how bad his story sounded, Ranpo must have too because he started cackling.

“Oh my god, you kidnapped two kids?” Screamed kunikida. He started spurting out all sorts of statements about kidnappings and their parents. Dazai clapped his hands together to catch kunikidas attention. “They were orphans and starving on the streets, gin was holding a letter that said they were abandoned and it had all the legal information for the two of them so don’t call me a kidnapper please.” Said Dazai in a slightly pissed off voice.

It wasn’t like Dazai hadn’t kidnapped people before, he just didn’t like getting called a kidnapper when it was about his kids. He gave them a way better life and a home so to hear someone say he forced them into it hurt. Kunikida apologized immediately. “Omg I have to show you guys this picture.” Said Ranpo out of the blue.

It caught the room by surprise so everyone went over to see what the candy addicted man wanted the show them. It was a photo of Dazai fully clothed in a bubble bath with ryuu and gin. The group all awed at the domestic photo, seeing Dazai smile so cutely at the two kids.

“Wait is that blood on your forehead?” Asked kunikda as he looked closer to the photo. Dazai knew very well that it was, he had fought someone earlier That day and never got the chance to clean up, but he didn’t want to tell them that. He realized the two kids both had dried blood on them, and ryuu is known to cough blood so he had a good excuse.

“It was one of the kids, I carried them both back so it must’ve got on me, that was the first night i found them. They both called me dadzai until they were about 13, it was the cutest thing ever.” Laughed Dazai. He hadn’t thought about when he adopted them for quite a while so it sent him down memory lane.

“That’s cute Dazai.” Said the female doctor. Dazai nodded. “I would’ve adopted another kid when I was 18 but I couldn’t find them.”added Dazai as an after thought. Kenji raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” Asked the boy.

“Oh well, you guys remember how I was talking about god tier ability users earlier? Well odasaku was one, when he died he chose reincarnation so I’ve been looking for a kid with orange eyes. Obviously I wouldn’t take them from their home, but a kid with orange eyes probably wouldn’t be wanted, out of fear.” Explained Dazai. The group nodded, knowing he was probably right.

“Well enough of that topic, what about that date kunikida had last Saturday?” Joked Dazai. Kunikida gasped and stood up abruptly. “Are you stalking me?” Accused the man. Dazai just cackled without giving a reply.

“Of course not kunikida~ , I just so happened to be in the area and I saw the two of you.” Said Dazai. Kunikida looked unconvinced but he took the Answer. “I assume there won’t be a second date?” Asked Dazai in a joking tone. A couple of the people in the room laughed at dazais bluntness, but he knew something they didn’t.

“I don’t know yet, she hasn’t texted me.” Said an unsure kunikida. Dazai started snickering. “She was a lesbian kunikida.” Deadpanned Dazai. The room burst into laughter. Kunikida sputtered. “No she wasn’t! She asked me out.” Yelled the man with glasses. Dazai laughed even harder. “What words did she use to ask you out?”questioned Dazai. Kunikida got lost in thought for a moment before replying.

“She asked if I wanted to get a cup of coffee sometime, and then we did.” Boasted kunikida. Now it was Ranpos turn to cut in to the conversation. The super detective walked over to where to two were standing. He sat down on Dazais desk. “And what did you guys talk about the whole time?” Asked the man, knowing the answer already.

“We talked about my hobbies, and how I tutor kids in my free time.” Answered kunikida. Ranpo put his hand out to emphasize what had just been revealed but kunikida still didn’t get it.”shes a parent, she wanted to get the inside Scoop on the tests and stuff.” Revealed Ranpo before laughing.

“What’s the point, it’s not like they are real tests, it’s just tutoring.” Wondered tanizaki outloud. Dazai pushed Ranpo off of his desk. “She wanted him to get 100%, even if it’s just tutoring, the worksheets and stuff can be handed in for extra marks in school.” Said Dazai. Kunikida frowned, which caused Dazai to feel a bit guilty.

“If it makes you feel any better, she only met 12 of your ideals.” Comforted Dazai. Kunikidas eyes Widened. “How did you know that you bandage wasting- did you snoop in my notebook again.” Screamed the man. Dazai just snickered.

Chapter Text

After relaxing all day Sunday, Dazai was kind of looking forward to work Monday. He even decided to show up on time, which was very out of the ordinary for the man. Everyone else was either already in there, or entering the building.

Kunikida looked surprised to say the least. “You were early on Saturday too, are you okay?” Asked kunikida, closely inspecting dazais every move. Dazai scoffed at the man without replying. He went over and sat at his desk. Kunikida walked over directly Infront of Dazais desk, atsushi trailing close behind. “The only reason he came early on Saturday was because chuuya needed to borrow dazais car, so he dropped us all off.” Revealed atsushi.

Dazai looked up and everyone was curriculums him, all looking genuinely concerned. “He has a couple meetings today, he can’t be late for them since he wants to be a dick about the other party’s being late.” Said Ranpo while reading his comic and sucking on a lollipop.

“We have a meeting today? Since when.” Yelled a panicked atsushi. Kunikida swiftly pulled out his notebook and looked everywhere and anywhere for where he could have written a note about a meeting. Dazai could’ve told them that it was only him who had to go, but he was having fun watching everyone freak out.

“I have a phone call meeting at 10am, and an in person meeting at 12:30. It’s for my job dealing with all of the agency’s connections.” Explained Dazai, after realizing he should just tell them as to avoid upsetting Kyoka.

“What connections?” Asked tanizaki. Dazai sighed. He knew not everyone knew about his position in the agency, but he’d had to explain it what felt like 100 times already. Ranpo saw this and answered for the man. “Dazai goes to meeting to strengthen and discuss all of the truces and outer agency connections we have. Recently, with all the stuff going on with the port mafia and guild, both of their bosses have been trying to get into contact with Dazai. They both want to truce with us when the fights start getting more and more serious.” Explained an extremely bored Ranpo. He patted around his pocket for another candy but was left empty handed. The man frowned.

Dazai pulled a bag of gummy’s out of nowhere and chucked them at the man child. Ranpo smiled and started eating them. “They want to truce with us? Why not with each other? We are the only non illegal organization here so you’d think they’d want to stick together.” Asked kunikida. Atsushi looked like he had something to say, but wasn’t sure if he should say it or not.

“What is it Atsushi?” Questioned Dazai. The boy looked surprised to hear his name get mentioned. “No it’s just, I understand why the guild would want to truce with us, we have an ability’s permit right? But why would the port mafia, they have much more man power and such then we do.” Wondered atsushi. Dazai leaned back in his chair and swept his arm over his face so no light could get through.

“You’re right about the guild thing for the most part. they also think there’s a higher chance the port mafia has the book, so they want our help getting it. The port mafia wants a truce mostly because they don’t want the guild to have us, we are deadly enough on our own as you can tell from the black lizard incident, they don’t want us to group with another organization.” Explained Dazai, still covering his eyes. He heard a hum of understanding from atsushi. He moved the arm so he could see people’s reactions, not that he didn’t already know what they would be.

“And In the case of a truce, what would happen?” Asked yosano, who was starting to show interest in the conversation. “Well In a perfect world?we’d all make plans as a group, and work together to defeat the enemy. In reality, it would probably for the most part us just deciding to not attack eachother, but never really working together.” Said Dazai with a smirk.

Yosano and atsushi looked disappointed they wouldn’t get the chance to work with their significant others, but they should be focused on work anyways. “I already know what side I’m picking, and what benefits us as a group the most. I don’t want them to know that thought so I’m still doing both meetings.” Said the bandaged man. The people in the room asked him who, but he didn’t reply.

~le time skip~
Dazai kept checking the clock, counting every minutes that passed. It was 11:54, yet he still hadn’t gotten the phone call from Fitzgerald. He knew he wouldn’t though so he wasn’t surprised. Fitzgerald was the type of man who thought the world revolved around himself, so even though he was given strict instructions to phone Dazai at exactly 10, he didn’t. He waited for Dazai to phone him, and beg for a truce. Obviously Dazai wasn’t going to since it benefits them way more then it did him.

The phone finally rung at 12:02. Dazai left it until the last second before picking it up. The armed detectives agency was silent all trying to hear the call. Dazai didn’t give the man the chance to talk before he spoke. “You’re two hours late.” Said Dazai in a flat voice. He could already feel the man on the other side of the line getting annoyed. “I am a very busy man you know.” Replied Fitzgerald. Dazai let out a humourless laugh. “You’ve been sitting in your office, not working for the past two hours waiting for me to call you first so that you hold the power.” Stated Dazai as a fact. The other side of the line stayed silent. “You forget that this truce would benefit your side more then mine. I gave you the Benefit of the doubt and booked your meeting first.” Snapped Dazai.

The detectives at the agency were honestly surprised to see their goofball turning serious. The fact that they were talking to such a dangerous man like he were dirt, added to that. “I apologize sincerely, could we do the meeting now by chance?” Asked the man. Dazai laughed, this time genuinely. “Maybe if you beg.” Said Dazai slowly, word by word. The line went silent. “I was only joking, I have a meeting in about 20 minutes with the port mafia boss, like I said earlier, I booked you first so that you had a better chance of swaying me but you’ve lost that opportunity.” Finished Dazai. The man was about to hang up with Fitzgerald spoke. “Can I reschedule the meeting please?”

Dazai smirked. “Yes, for 10am Wednesday.” Replied Dazai, not giving the man another choice. The man quickly agreed. “Could we do it in person? It would be easier then on the phone.” Said Fitzgerald. Dazai thought for a moment before replying. “Sure, you can come to the office.” Fitzgerald said he couldn’t.

“So let me get this straight, you want to meet in person, but you won’t come to Japan?” Asked Dazai in a dead voice. The man on the other end of the phone started to sputter. Fitzgerald is a strong man, so he’s not used to getting questioned like this, people usually just agree with him, so he’s having trouble not getting frusturated. Dazai tends to do that to people though.

“Sorry I have another meeting a couple hours after that so I wouldn’t have time.” Explained the man, hoping his answer was enough. “We can meet in the middle.” Offered Dazai, giving the man a route out of sounding like a tool. He agreed.

“I have a good friend who lives in Russia, I’m sure he’d offer me his study to hold a meeting in.” Said the mummified man, starting to get tired of dealing with such an arrogant man, not that he wasn’t one himself. “That sounds perfect, what’s the address?” Asked Fitzgerald. Dazai told him quickly, Fitzgerald’s eyes widened at the screen when he looked up the address.

“Are you sure you want to hold the meeting there? I’ve heard that there’s a dangerous group there called the rats.” Asked Fitzgerald, Dazai chuckled and said it was no worry. “Thank you for your time.” Said Fitzgerald. Dazai didn’t reply and just hung up the call.

He put the phone down and checked the clock, five minutes had passed. Chuuya would be there soon to pick him up and take him to port mafia headquarters. Kunikida coughed. “Why would you talk to him like that? He’s a dangerous man Dazai.” Worried kunikida. As far as kunikida was concerned, Dazai was probably just trying to get the man to kill him.

“Don’t worry kunikida, I know what I’m doing.” Sung the man. He stood up and stretched. Atsushi came over to stand by him.” Don’t you think that was a bit harsh, since you are trying to truce with them.” Asked Atsushi. Dazai shook his head. “If you think that’s harsh, you should see how I talk to Mori.” Laughed the man. “Plus it’s not like he’d ever try and hurt me, he’s scared of me.” Finished Dazai.

“Why would be be scared of you?” Questioned kunikida. “He’s a man whose used to not getting questioned or bossed around, My existence is threatening everything he’s ever known. I’m dangerous too and he knows he doesn’t want me or the agency as an enemy. so even if I’m a jerk, no especially if I’m a jerk he will want our truce more. I just want to hear him try and convince me.” Answered the man.

There was a knock on the door. Chuuya walked in, ugly hat and all. “Kirako let me in.” Said the man while walking over to Dazai. “You ready to go?” Asked the man. Dazai nodded. “You’re not even gonna believe the call I just had!!”Laughed the Man. Chuuya looked at him amused. “I’m sure it went exactly how you told me it would.” Stated chuuya. Dazai of course agreed.

Kunikida raised his eyebrow at the duo. “Where are you going?” Asked kunikida to no on in particular. Dazai looked back over at him. “I have a meeting with Mori now, chuuya is picking me up, the meeting should be pretty short but I won’t be back for a couple hours.” Explained Dazai. Yosano and ranpo smiled at the married couple, it was clear how much they loved eachother.

“Be safe!” Yelled yosano as the two started walking towards the door. “Don’t stay out too late!” Joked Ranpo. Chuuya turned back to face them confused. “It’s safe, they wouldn’t harm Dazai during a time like this.” Said chuuya. Yosano, Ranpo, and Dazai all started laughing. Chuuya was still confused.

“Oh come on chuuya, I’m asexual and even I got that.” Laughed Dazai. Chuuyas eyes widened in surprise once he got the ‘be safe’ joke. He started muttering all sorts of insults as Dazai steered him out of the room, still laughing.

“What does asexual mean?” Asked atsushi and Kyoka and the same time.Kunikida looked surprised that they both didn’t know. “It means they don’t experience sexual attraction.” Answered kunikida. Ranpo cut in. “Not necessarily, there’s a whole spectrum of asexual identity’s, some will experience it after they get to know their partner, some want sex but don’t feel sexual attraction.” Corrected Ranpo, not wanting the kids to get the wrong idea.

“Oh so Does Dazai have sex?” Asked atsushi, before realizing what he said. He started sputtering an apology. “Why are you so interested in his sex life atsushi?” Joked yosano. Ranpo lightly pushed the woman. “He’s repulsed by sex.” Answered Ranpo.

“Can we stop talking about dazais sex life, or lack there of?” Asked a flustered atsushi. The group agreed, happy to change topics.

~moris office~

“We both know you’re picking us Dazai.” Said Mori as he leaned over the table. “So why don’t you save us all some time and just agree.” Dazai knew he could just lie, but he was no longer in the mood to make fun of Mori. “Sure, lets write up a contract.” Agreed Dazai.

The contract was written up quickly, the two powerful men both bickering about the rules, but still not pushing since they both know what’s best for both sides. They read back over it again and made two copy’s, one for the port mafia, one for the armed detectives agency. “Alright, well let’s meet again tomorrow night for dinner to discuss some of our plans and sign the contract.” Suggested the man. Dazai nodded. “I’m sure the agency will agree with the contract and sign it, but if they don’t, what will you do?” Asked Dazai, curious as to how the man would react.

Mori looked taken off guard but he quickly recovered. “Im sure you’ll convince the agency that this is best for them.” Said Mori confidentially, if it were real or false, Dazai couldn’t tell. “Don’t tell the guild or any of the lower rank members, I still have a meeting with Fitzgerald and I want to hear him beg for an alliance.” Said Dazai, Mori nodded in reply.

Dazai sat up and left, neither of the men said anything. The moment Dazai left the room he was met with chuuya chatting with kouyou. “What happened?” Asked the woman. Dazai filled her and chuuya in.”neither of the two were really surprised.

“Anyways, The armed detectives agency is going out for crepes and I don’t want to miss that so I gotta run.” Said Dazai before kissing Chuuyas cheek and leaving. “I was his ride here.” Muttered a disappointed chuuya. Kouyou let out a loud cackle.

~crepe place~

The moment Dazai was a block away he saw atsushi sitting curled up on the ground. He ran over quickly to him and saw that he was having a panic attack. The boy was trembling horribly, his whole body was shaking with sobs.

He turned over to the other detectives agency who were all standing there not knowing what to do. “What happened?” Asked Dazai while digging around in his bag for something. Kunikida shrugged. “I have no idea, we were walking and he just fell down to the ground and started freaking out. He said he was sorry over and over again, then started crying. I tried to touch him but he freaked out.” Answered a worried kunikida.

“Hey atsushi it’s Dazai.” Said the man in a quiet voice. Atsushi didn’t react. Dazai leaned down right in front of him so atsushi could see him out of the corner of his eyes. “You’ve been out of it for a while now atsushi, can I help you now?” Asked Dazai. Atsushi acknowledged dazais statement but didn’t answer. “ i know whatever scared you must’ve been very frightening for you to get like this, but all of your friends are here and you’re safe.” Whispers Dazai, loud enough so only atsushi can here.

“Can you look into my eyes atsushi?” Asked Dazai leaning closer to the teenage boy. Atsushi looked up with eyes full of tears, but made eye contact nonetheless. “Concentrate on me and your breathing, Don’t think about anything else.” Said the man, still being quiet. Slowly but surely atsushis breathing went back to normal.

The two still sat there making eye contact, at some point Dazai had started holding his hand, not that he noticed. “Have you had a panic attack like this before?” Asked Dazai, though he was sure he knew the answer already.

“Yes.” The boy revealed reluctantly. He looked full of shame. “I’m sorry for ruining the day, I thought I saw the director from the orphanage.” Said atsushi, tears still streaming down his face.

“You don’t have to be sorry atsushi, I’m sure that was very frightening.” Comforted yosano. The woman walked over and smiled at him. The rest of the detectives all agreed, and gave him words of support.

“It’s okay to have a panic attack atsushi, it doesn’t make you any less of a person.” Said Dazai, knowing what the orphan was thinking. Atsushi nodded with a small smile.”have you ever had a panic attack?” Asked atsushi.

Dazai nodded his head. Atsushi smiled. “You don’t have to lie Dazai, you’re just saying that to make me feel better. I wish I was like you, and wasn’t afraid of anything.” Whined atsushi. Ranpo started cackling, which was bad timing.

Everyone looked at Ranpo like he was a crazy person. When Ranpo noticed the attention he was getting he stopped laughing. “I’m sorry it’s just, atsushi said Dazai wasn’t scared of anything.” Laughed the man, remembering something from a couple years ago.

“I must admit, dazais never shown fear for any reason so I assumed he wasn’t afraid of anything.” Said kunikida, now joining the conversation. Atsushi looked confused. “You’re scared of something? And you’ve actually had panic attacks?”

Dazai nodded, as a reply to both questions. Atsushi tilted his head in confusion. “What could someone like you possibly be afraid of?” Asked the boy. Dazai looked over at Ranpo. “Though id love to tell you, I’m sure you’d make fun of me.” Muttered Dazai sheepishly. He knew Ranpo told the story better, so he set Ranpo up to be able to tell it.

Ranpo started laughing again. He pulled out his phone and unlocked it. He scrolled through for a moment before picking a photo and showing everyone. It was a photo of Dazai holding karl(Edgar Allen Poe’s raccoon) in front of a house on fire. The group looked confused as to why he was holding a raccoon. “He’s afraid of fire?” Asked atsushi. “That’s a valid fear, why would we make fun of him?”

Ranpo laughed even harder. “Oh no, it’s what caused the fire.” Said Ranpo. Ranpo started walking over to the crepe place without revealing any more to the story. Once everyone had a crepe and went to sit down, Kyoka spoke. “So what scared him?” Asked the girl. “Guess.” Said Ranpo with a mouth full of food.

Kunikida pondered. “He had a zit?” Suggested the man. Tanizaki shook his head and cut in. “No, he unravelled his bandage, and nothing was there! Just empty air!” Claimed the student confidently. Atsushi,Kyoka, kenji, all suggested the same thing, he’s scared of cooking appliances. “Raccoons?” Suggested Naomi. Kunikida shook his head. “That wouldnt make sense, he’s holding it in the photo,” Naomi pouted. “They could’ve become friends though.” Muttered the girl.

Ranpo denied all the suggestions. “How would any of your guys suggestions led to fire?” Asked Atsushi. They all shrugged. “So do you guys want to know?” Asked Ranpo. Everyone nodded in anticipation.

“It was a......” started the man, kunikida swore at him for once, trying to get a straight answer. “Spider.” Revealed Ranpo. Everyone burst into laughter, surprised that the man, who seemed to be fearless could be afraid of such a small thing. “I’m sorry for laughing.” Said atsushi trying to contain his laughter.

“But how did that lead to a fire? And where was that?” Asked kunikida. Ranpo laughed at the memory. “Okay Dazai was babysitting karl, my pet raccoon while I was at a writing thing with my husband. Dazai while cleaning, found a small spider, about 3 by 3 centimetres. He freaked out and didn’t want to go near it, so he grabbed karl and threw him at it. The moment karl saw it he freaked out and jumped up into Dazais arms. Dazai went into my bathroom, got hairspray and a lighter to set it on fire. Of course when Dazai got back the spider was gone. He looked around for it, when he found it again he set it on fire, but then it started coming towards him so he set the whole path on fire. The room started burning up quickly so with karl still in his arms he ran outside.” Said Ranpo, Barely holding in laughter.

The group started laughing with him again.”and that’s not even the best part, when we got back I saw Dazai sitting outside holding karl looking off into the distance(which is when I took the photo) and the only thing he said was ‘safety, but at what cost.’ And as we know, dazais incredibly hard to read. Even my super amazing ability couldn’t tell what Dazai meant. I thought someone had broken in and tried to kill the two, so you can imagine my surprise when I overheard Dazai explain it to the fire fighters.” Said Ranpo, taking a break to eat every few words.

Dazai sighed heavily at everyone’s laughter. “It was scary! I had to protect karl and me!” Whined Dazai. Kunikida cut in. “What about ranpos house?” Dazai smiled. “They were planning on moving anyways so I just bought them a new one, all of their important stuff was intact so it wasn’t to much of a loss.” Explained the man . Atsushi still looked amazed. “I can’t believe you’re scared of something, does anyone else know?” Asked the boy. Dazai nodded slowly, his answer would dig him into a deeper home but he decided that it might make Atsushi laugh again.

“One time chuuya was on a super important meeting and a spider had a bunch of baby’s Infront of the door in our bedroom. To those of you who don’t know, I live in a penthouse, so i had no alternative escape. I phoned chuuya and told him there was an emergency and he needed to come home, he said he couldn’t and asked what, I didn’t want to tell him since he didn’t know yet. So I phoned Mori and told him there was an emergency and chuuya needed to come back immediately or there would be awful consequences. He sent chuuya back of course, he got home in two hours and was pissed off. He kept calling my name so I told him I was in our room. I was sitting in the corner of the room crying, after having a panic attack when he came in. He ran in quickly and came to my side to ask what was wrong, I told him spiders. He didn’t look like he believed me, so I pointed them out to him. Chuuya picked one up, and said ‘this little thing’ while walking towards me. So of course I screamed and backed into the wall, which is when he realized I was serious, so he dealt with all of them
For me. We ended uo spending the night watching cartoons, but anyways the next day Mori asked what happened, angry I had taken his best worker. Chuuya panicked and told him that I found out I was pregnant. He actually beleived him and it took him a whole month to realize I was a man. He had even sent us baby gifts. To this day he has no clue what happened.” Said the man.

Atsushi and the gang were red cheeked from all of their laughter. “Anywho, I do have fears.”finished Dazai, wanting this conversation to be over. Kunikida raised an eyebrow. “Fears plural?” Asked the man, with a playful hint. Dazais eyes widened. He turned to Ranpo knowing the man would sell him out immediately. “Don’t even get me started on dazais fear of dogs.” Joked Ranpo.

Chapter Text

Dazai had stayed at the dorms the previous night. Everyone had stayed up super late chatting so he didn’t feel like heading home so late. The man woke up to a phone call at 6:45 am. He sighed heavily, the contact read Fitzgerald. He swore before answering it.

“Hello, what can I do for you this fine morning?” Asked Dazai, knowing damn well Mori had snitched about their soon to be truce. “So I heard you made a truce with the port mafia. Were you hoping I’d beg you to change your mind?” Asked the other man angrily. That’s exactly what Dazai had wanted, but he wasn’t going to tell Fitzgerald that.

“We haven’t signed any of the papers yet, we planned on waiting for a couple days to have meetings with our employees and such. That’s why I scheduled your meeting for tomorrow, so id have time to make a final decision.” Explained Dazai, technically not lying.

“I see, Mori is under the impression you have already decided.” Replied fitz. Dazai laughed. “Of course he is, and I’m sure you are too, I’ll make my final decision on Thursday and I’ll let both sides know.” Finished Dazai, wanting to go back to sleep.

“Well how about this, We can have a little party to celebrate your decision. It’ll be formal. Our three organizations can celebrate our last night of no fighting before the war begins. I’ll foot the bill of the whole thing, how does that sound?” Asked Fitzgerald.

Dazai agreed, knowing what his decision would end up being. “Perfect, I’ll have someone bring invitations to your office.” Said the man on the other like before hanging up.

Dazai knew what was to come. The moment that he reveals what side he’s picking, the non-chosen side would attack. Knowing Mori, he won’t prepare for that outcome, since he’s certain that he’ll pick the mafia. Fitzgerald on the other hand knows there isn’t a high chance of Dazai choosing him, so he’ll prepare for a fight to break out in the Hall the party is at.

He knows some of their employees aren’t great at Lying, atsushi and kenji for example. They’ll both be suspicious if Dazai tells them. So he’ll have to only tell a few people so they can be prepared. He closed his eyes and rolled back over. Everyone knew the peace between the three organizations would come to an end soon, Dazai had just hoped it wouldn’t come so soon.

“So what’s the plan.” He said out loud to himself. This was probably something he should discuss with Ranpo, which he would after the meeting the next day with Fitzgerald.

He whined loudly before checking the time again. Only a few moments had passed. He closed his eyes and went back to sleep, he could think about everything later.

~~

Dazai sat straight up, with a sharp inhale. He had a nightmare, but now that he was awake, he couldn’t remember what it was about. He chuckled out loud. The bandaged man looked over at the clock, it read 9:36 so he decided it was an acceptable time to get up.

He walked to the agency, getting there in only a few moments. Kunikida looked relieved to see Dazai come in late. Everything was back to normal, or Atleast In kunikidas eyes.

The moment Dazai sat down Kirako walked in with a hand full of envelopes, which caught everyone’s attention. “One of the guild members dropped these off.” Explained the woman, handing them over to kunikida before leaving.

Kunikida looked at the envelopes, there were nine. Two gold envelopes with black writing, and seven black ones with gold writing. He read the names off and handed everyone their envelope. He was surprised to find that one of the two gold ones went to Dazai. The other one went to
The president.

Kunikida opened his first, everyone watched him in anticipation. “It’s an invitation?” Said an unsure kunikida. “It’s to a party to celebrate the truce of whichever two organizations join together, and the celebrate the end of the cease fire, the beginning of the war.” Explained kunikida.

Everyone else opened their invites, all to find the same thing. ‘They were supposed to dress formally so yosano would have to take the kids shopping’ thought kunikida to himself with a shiver, happy he already had a suit.

“Why haven’t you opened your invite yet?” Asked kenji. Dazai shrugged before picking the gold envelope off of his desk. He opened it to find and invite unlike every else’s, not that he was too surprised.

The invite basically said that he had a seat at the table with Fitzgerald, Mori, and Fukuzawa. It was probably like that so they could discuss certain things, and so that the guild could attack everyone else the moment he finds out he wasn’t chosen.

Dazai put the invite back down on his desk without saying anything. Kunikida came over and snatched it off the table. He opened it and read what it said. The mans jaw dropped in shock.”why would you be at that table?” Asked kunikida.

Dazai laughed. “Come on kunikida, I get to pick who we truce with, so I’m sort of an important man.” Joked Dazai. Kunikida nodded, sort of disappointed he wasn’t invited to that table.

“I’ll bring the presidents invite to him. Kunikida, yosano, and Ranpo, please follow me.”asked Dazai. Yosano and kunikida looked confused as to why they needed to follow, but they did it nonetheless. Ranpo On the other hand knew exactly why he was getting called over.

The group of four all walked in to the presidents office, after knocking of course. “Please sit down.” Requested the president. Everyone did as they were told. “What seems to be the problem?” Asked fukuzawa. Kunikida told the man about the invites, before handing it over.

He read it before looking up at Dazai. “The moment our choice gets revealed, Fitzgerald plans on attacking.” Said Dazai. Kunikida immediately disagreed. “It’s the last night of the cease fire, he wouldn’t attack us at his party.” Claimed kunikida.

“That’s exactly when he would. He knows there is a high chance we pick the port mafia so he’s preparing to take both sides out at the same time.” Said Ranpo, not even bothering to put his glasses on.

The president nodded. “Why isn’t this something we are discussing with all the members then?” Asked kunikida. Dazai looked over at the man like her were stupid. “Atsushi and kenji can’t keep secrets or lie for shit. They’ll end up panicking and attacking them first.” Laughed Dazai.

Fukuzawa offered everyone some tea, to which they said yes. Once everyone had their tea and were drinking it yosano spoke. “If we know they are going to attack, why are we going.” Wondered the woman.

“It’s a good opportunity for us, even though we will be on there turf we would hold the upper hand with numbers and such. Plus it’s not like we aren’t expecting it so we will be prepared too, and we’ll make sure the port mafia higher ups are prepared too.” Explained Ranpo. “Plus they’ll attack Mori, Fukuzawa and I first so it’ll give everyone else time to react.” Added on Dazai.

Ranpo and Dazai came up with a plan together, the other three people just nodded along with everything they said. Once they had finished Dazai left to phone chuuya.

~le time skip to their meeting in Russia because I’m Lazy and nothing important happens until then~

Dazai looked over at the man sitting on the opposite side of the couch. “Could you play me something?” Asked Dazai. Fyodor nodded before getting up and exiting the room. It had been a while since the two men had seen eachother, Atleast a decade. He had missed the sound of the cello. If it wasn’t fyodor playing, he wouldn’t listen.

When fyodor came back he played for hours, until his arms started to cramp. A knock was heard on the door. “I’m presuming that’s your guest?” Asked fyodor, haven been filled in to what the meeting was about. Dazai nodded and walked to the front door.

“It’s lovely to see you again.” Said Fitzgerald kindly. Dazai agreed before letting him In. The two powerful men walked into fyodors study. Dazai wasn’t surprised the man had decided to leave.

“So shall we discuss the terms of our would be truce?” Asked Dazai. The other man agreed and immediately jumped into it.

Fitzgerald had a one sided conversation with Dazai about all the terms he thought the truce should have. Fitzgerald blended the rules to make it so their truce benefit Dazai more then it did the guild. He offered the guilds man power to defeat the port mafia so that the armed detectives agency would barely have to life a finger.

If Dazai wanted that, the port mafia would’ve offered it too seeing at the port mafias main concern was not being dazais enemy. But Dazai didn’t want to not be included, since he knew
The moment the port mafia was out, the guild would come for them next. None the less he agreed to the terms Fitzgerald had come up with, and came up with some of his own. Once their contract was written out completely, the two men both took a copy.

“Thank you for your time, I look forward to finding out your decision tomorrow.” Said Fitzgerald. Dazai smiled and walked the man out. Once he left Fyodor came out of no where.

“That sounds like it went well.” Stated the man. It didn’t go well in the way that Dazai got the terms he would’ve wanted, it went well In the way that meant Fitzgerald didn’t know the type of person Dazai was. “I have to agree, obviously I won’t choose him but it was lovely seeing him purposely make the truce benefit me more so that we’ll join him.” Laughed Dazai. Fyodor offered the man a glass of whiskey, Dazai hesitated for a moment before accepting. It wasn’t too early in the day.

The two immortal men caught up with eachother after haven not spoken in years. “We should do this again soon, feel
Welcome to come over again any time.” Said Fyodor. Dazai agreed before reaching over and giving fyodor a hug.

Dazai left soon after.

Chapter Text

~attempt 1~

The bar was quiet. Dazai looked up from the bar to see a young bartender, he appears to be not too much older than dazai. “It’s nice to see you again, I thought you wouldn’t come back.” Said the man flirtatiously. He poured dazai a glass of whiskey, like He had ordered the previous 4 days.

“Thanks.” The man smiled at him, showing his perfect teeth. Dazai returned the smile, but not for the reason he thought. He had spotted the assassin In the corner of the bar. Which meant this was probably going to be his first attempt. the past couple nights Dazai had been coming every day to drink whiskey, all of which had been drugged. He knew they were but still drank them all. The drug was practically harmless until it built up in his system, because at that point it becomes extremely reactive with olyvanzer, which was a drug on the streets of Paris at the time.

The bartender continued to flirt with him, while He mindlessly flirted back, not really interested in him. He continued drinking the whiskey, now onto his third glass. Another woman came in and ordered whiskey, the bartender poured it out of a different bottle even though she ordered the same brand. it just further proved the assassination attempt.

Dazai knew Sakunosuke was supposed to be a good hit men, he was almost embarrassed by the poor attempt. He wasn’t hidden or anything so It was clear that something was off. Dazai sighed realizing not everyone could be as smart and self aware as himself so he had to be patient.

The young demon prodigy got up from
His seat, chugging the last bit before walking over to where the assassin sat.

“Poison huh?” Laughed the boy, sitting across from the assassin. Sakunosukes eyes widened in surprise before a smile showed on his face.

“Well I guess it’s not really poison, it’s the drug klan. Perfectly harmless until mixed with olyvanzer. Which you planned on getting the bartender to slip into my drink on my next glass.” Claimed the bandaged boy. Sakunosuke looked impressed.

“So people try to kill you often I assume?” Questioned the older man. Dazai laughed out loud. “More often than one would think.” Sakunosuke nodded solemnly.

“You seem kind of young to have so many people trying to kill you.” Said the man out loud, smiling slightly almost as though it were an inside joke. Dazai didn’t get it, and he didn’t like not understanding things.

“I’m the one who put the hit out.” Revealed Dazai. Sakunosuke didn’t look surprised. “I’ve heard about your suicidal tendencies, I’m surprised someone with your so called expertise couldn’t pull it off.” Teased the man as though they were friends. Dazai was starting to get suspicious of the way the assassin was acting but didn’t say anything.

“I’m extremely disappointed you couldn’t pull off this assassination attempt, I’d heard great things about you.” Said Dazai, not replying to what the other man had just said. Sakunosuke smiled and took a sip of his drink.

“Well I still have two attempts so don’t get to disappointed quite yet.” Chuckled the man. Dazai was about to speak but Sakunosuke left before he got the chance.

Dazai sat alone at the table for a couple minutes without moving. The assassin was weird, to put it kindly. He acted like they knew each other. Dazai smiled at the empty glass that sat on the table. It wasn’t often he was intrigued by someone, maybe the man could finally Offer him the one thing he wanted. Death.

~attempt 2~

It had been 4 days since the mans last attempt. Dazai was starting to get tired of waiting. Everyday that week he had gone to different museums and art gallery’s to fill his time. The boy didn’t usually like that type of stuff, but if he was in Paris why not. One of the paintings looked like him, just a little bit older. Seeing something like that isn’t too far out of the ordinary, other than the fact it was named no longer human.

Dazai had wanted to buy the painting to investigate, but it wasn’t up for sale and he didn’t feel like any heists. Technically he was on vacation since he had finished moris mission so he was trying to relax.

Dazai walked home from the days excursion. The moment he went into the apartment something felt off. He looked around the apartment for anything that looked wrong but nothing was any different. He thought for a moment maybe nothing was wrong, until he checked the fridge.

The moment he opened it, he saw the bomb. It would be hard to miss it, The bomb was huge. Dazai looked at the timer, which read 30 seconds. He looked at all the intricate wired and realized he didn’t have the time to deactivate it. He looked at the side of the bomb and saw a tiny red button, which he pressed.

Huge bombs like that tend to have a button to stop it in case of emergency. The bomb stopped ticking. He grabbed an apple before closing the fridge again. The boy walked over to the window that faced a couple buildings. He smiled and waved before closing the curtains.

~attempt 3~

Dazai weeks earlier had gotten a reservation at a roof top restaurant. The buildings around it were much taller so there were many vantage points for a sniper. The boy went nonetheless, hoping Sakunosuke would finally succeed and release him from the endless suffering he had to endure. But that was of course wishful thinking.

He didn’t order anything while he was there, he wanted to wait for his company to show up. The bandaged boy had a reservation for 3 1/2 hours so he wasn’t in any rush. To pass the time he ordered a fancy bottle of wine. Dazai had never been a fan of wine, but he was sure the man soon to accompany him was.

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw a tiny glimmer. Sakunosuke. He smiled and turned to where he had seen the sniper rifle. He waved and raised his phone, signaling for the man to check his phone.

Dazai:
care to join me for lunch?

Assassin man:
Sure.

Dazai smiled at the phone. He wasn’t one to care about other people, but the assassin intrigued him. It took about ten minutes for Sakunosuke to show up. The man immediately sat down without saying anything.

“You intrigue me.” Said Dazai, throwing it out there. Sakunosuke looked tired of his shit, and the conversation had only just begun. “You’re very smart.” Replied the assassin, not acknowledging dazais statement. Neither of the two men spoke again until the waitress came, and that was just to order their drinks.

“I wired the money to your account, what favour would you like?” Asked Dazai, taking a sip of the wine. He didn’t like it but he drank it nonetheless.

“It’s funny that you wired me money even though I didn’t succeed, do people fail often?” Inquired Sakunosuke, now taking sip of his glass. “I assure you, you’re the first assassin I’ve paid to try and kill me but I knew you wouldn’t be able to. It’s still disappointing nonetheless.” Complained the boy, laying his head down on the table.

“The favour, surprise me.”

Dazai looked up at the assassin. Surprise him? The bandaged boy smiled. “Alrighty then, it’s a pleasure to have to opportunity to talk to you in person Sakunosuke.” Said Dazai, changing the topic.

“The same to you Dazai.” Smiled the older man contently. “Sakunosuke is too much of a mouthful, I’m going to call you odasaku.” Claimed Dazai with excitement. Odasaku looked like he could cry, hearing those words. Dazai looked confused and apologetic, which was unlike him.

“I can call you something else.” Suggested the boy, but odasaku said no. The two immortal men chatted until the end of their reservation. Dazai gave the older man his number, so that they could talk again some time before he left Paris.

That first time he had gotten to talk to odasaku would end up being one of dazais favourite memory’s.

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Dazai wasn’t used to caring about someone, but for some reason he found himself thinking about the man he had met in Paris. He looked Into everything he could find about odasaku. There wasn’t much to find seeing as he was an assassin and didn’t live a very open life. But he found one thing. The mans favourite series.

There were photos of odasaku reading the the first two books in the series, but never the third. Dazai did more digging into security cameras and audios of the man and found that he could never find the book. The boy smiled to himself, haven found to perfect favour.

The bandaged boy set everything up so the exact time odasaku was at the library, his favourite author would walk in with the third book. He watched from afar for a couple moments before leaving. He had to pack his stuff up since his place was leaving the next day.

By the time he got home, and packed there was a knock on the door. He opened it to find odasaku. “I’m coming to Yokohama.” Stated the taller man, Dazai was surprised.

“How come?” Asked Dazai, trying to seem nonchalant. The man walked into the room without asking. “I don’t want to be an assassin anymore.” Replied odasaku.

Dazai raised an eyebrow. Being an assassin isn’t a job he can just quit, he’ll have enemys. Dazai decided to humour the man. “And why is that?”

“I recently met an author, a favourite of mine. He told me to be able to write the lives of characters, I can’t take the lives of people. I want to be a writer.” Said the man as he sat down. Dazai sat down across from him and crossed his legs. He didn’t say anything for a moment before laughing.

“If you insist odasaku.” Laughed the man. He didn’t understand yet what that conversation would mean for him, but he never regretted it. Dazai realized that odasaku had dropped a bag off at the door. He made the connection that odasaku planned on leaving with Dazai.

Dazai and odasaku watched movies and drank wine, the same wine they had drank days earlier. Odasaku must have went and bought a bottle assuming Dazai had liked it. He drank it even thought he hated it, it was the first time someone actually gave him a gift with good intent.

Odasaku drifted off to sleep first. Dazai looked over his sleeping form with one thought on his mind.

How interesting.

Everything about that man was interesting. He acted like they had been friends for years. Dazai knew he was different then all the other people he had met before, he wanted to keep the older man in his life. The young bandaged boy grabbed a blanket and draped it over the man he would soon become great friends with.

AUTHORS NOTE: this chapter is in reference to something said In the conversation between Dazai and yosano in chapter seven. Dazai had told her how he met odasaku so I just thought I might as well make a short chapter out of it.

Chapter Text

Dazai looked up at the sky. It was beautiful. Blue purple and pink vibrant colours all danced in the sky. He had always wanted to see the northern lights, but now that he was there, he wasn’t too sure. The snow around him was no longer white, it was stained red with his blood.

Immortal men don’t die, so why was he?The man who once craved death was now begging whatever higher power there was to let him live. The man who had attempted suicide more times then a new born baby had cried was now panicking. The man who had lived hundreds of lives was now asking for just one more.

The once thought invincible man laughed humourlessly, who Would’ve thought. The man so obsessed with death wanted to live. Dazais eyes started closing. The cause of chuuyas death will be corruption. The cause of love crafts death will be getting blown up from the inside. Dazai? The cause of his will be getting shot by a random man in the dead of winter.

Immortal men don’t die, so why wasn’t he healing? why was the blood still pouring out of his chest. Dazai had always dreamed about what would be the final blow that killed him. He had dreamed of jumping off buildings, getting hung, overdosing but never something as simple as this.

Many times before he had bled out but it was different this time. Odasaku told him he’d know what his weakness would be near deaths door and here he was. Whenever he had died before he would feel energetic, and calm knowing he would wake up again moments later. This time there was no energy, no calmness. He knew this was it.

Immortal men don’t die, so why did he know this was the end? Most immortals don’t know their weakness till the day they die, Apparently he was one of the majority. The man with the purple eyes couldn’t breath, coughs started shaking his whole body, blood pouring out the side of his mouth.

Chuuya was beautiful, the lights reminded Dazai of that. Out of all the thoughts running through dazais head, the main ones were all about chuuya. ‘Will he cry’ ‘who will he replace me with’ ‘I wish I could’ve married him one last time’ ‘I wish I could’ve seen him one last time’.

Immortal men don’t die, so why was there a purple aura starting to surround him. The man smiled thinking of odasaku. When oda died, his aura had bled orange. Odasaku hated orange, but Dazai had always had a love for it. Chuuya May call himself a red head, but his hair was a beautiful sunset orange. Dazai looked up at the sky again, sad that the northern lights weren’t dancing with orange streaks,

He heard a yell in the distance. It sounded like his name but he couldn’t tell any more. He closed his eyes for the last time. Death was coming and he knew it. God tier ability users travel back in time at age 18, it’s due to this that the two best friends are both able to see eachother die. Oda died after the time skip, dazai was dying during.

Immortal men don’t die, so why did Dazai breath his last breath.
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“You shitty Dazai, how could you do that to me.” Cried chuuya. Dazai sat up with a harsh breath and clutched his throat. He died, he had died. Why was he here, and why was only one of chuuyas eyes blue, while the other one was purple.

“How?” Whispered Dazai. He looked up at his sobbing husband. The shorter man looked equally as surprised to see Dazai alive and well. “I thought you died you asshole!” Yelled the red head. Chuuya pounced On Dazai, giving his husband a hug.

When chuuya finally pulled away he gasped at Dazais face. His left eye was blue, and his right eye was purple. “Your eye is blue.” Muttered chuuya, grabbing dazais face roughly. He closely inspected the eyes, confused at what had happened.

“Your eye is purple.” Replied Dazai. The two men sat in confusion. “Chuuya wanted Dazai to live so badly a part of his soul latched onto Dazai a second before he died. It’s healing Dazai like a jumpstart on a car. I’d say your eyes will go back to normal at some point in the next couple day’s.” Said odasaku out of nowhere.

Chuuya and Dazai both realized what had been said and made eye contact. The two men sat in silence for a moment before Dazai jumped. The man leapt over and started kissing his husband passionately. Chuuya loved him, and he loved chuuya.

Fyodor and odasaku laughed at the couple, the two men had always been such a strange duo. They had found each other in a world so cruel and unforgiving and made the best out of it. Fyodor didn’t understand what it was like to love someone, but he was starting to.
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Chuuya didn’t use corruption any more. Ever since his husband left the mafia, he wasn’t there to nullify it. Dazai and chuuya Dont really get the chance to talk often during the day, which would prove to be a mistake. Mori had sent chuuya on a suicide mission to destroy an organization.

Chuuya swore as the people surrounding him started closing in. He activated corruption giving one last unheard apology to Dazai. Dazai On the other hand was slacking off In his office.

“I’m just saying if I had to marry one of you, it’d be Ranpo.” Laughed Dazai. Ranpo laughed with him. Kunikida raised an eyebrow. “Why not yosano? She’s a woman.” Wondered the man.

“Ranpo and I are compatible though.” Whined Dazai, leaving his sexuality and husband left unsaid. The group started laughing until Dazai stopped abruptly.

“What’s wrong Dazai?” Worried yosano. Dazai didn’t move for a couple seconds. His heart was beating extremely fast and he was starting to feel tired and panicky. It felt all to much like it did when he almost died 100 years earlier. He stood up with a slam and ran out of the room. Dazai felt it in his gut something was wrong with chuuya.

He started running to his car. Once he was in he started driving and pulled his phone out. Dazai quickly hit Moris contact and put it on speaker.

“Where is chuuya?”
“On a mission, why do you ask?”
“Where is he?”
“On. A. Mission.”
“Mori, you killed my best friend and that caused me to leave the mafia, what do you think is going to happen if you kill my husband. I can assure you, it won’t be pretty.”
“Hes in *insert Forrest name*”

Dazai immediately hung up the phone once he had the location. The car wouldn’t let him go past a certain speed while on cruise control so he turned it off. The man started speeding and swirving In between cars. His heart was going faster and purple marks were showing up on his skin. He was running out of time.

Immortal men don’t die, so why was he going through death again. He hit the front of the Forrest and he could see chuuya floating and throwing black holes. He ran towards him. The moment chuuya saw him, he paused for a moment. Even when chuuya didn’t have control he always recognized Dazai for a couple seconds.

Dazai yelled at the man to stop, and he did. For a moment before flying towards Dazai In an attempt to kill him. Dazai grabbed his arm and nullified the ability. The bandaged mans heart beat slowed down and the marks started fading. He looked down at chuuya who was staring at him with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry osamu.” Whispered the redhead. Dazai raked his fingers through his husbands hair. “It’s okay, rest now. We can talk later.” Replied Dazai. Chuuya immediately fell asleep. The bandaged man picked his husband up and carried him to the car, walking past multiple dead body’s on the way.

Dazai drove the man home and took care of him the next couple day’s. That was the first time that Dazai left the agency without telling anyone, but it wouldn’t be the last.

Immortal men don’t die, until they do. Odasaku died because of a singularity caused by another mans ability clashing with his own. Lovecraft will die after getting blown up from the inside. Chuuya will die after overusing corruption.

Dazai? The boy trained from birth to fight, torture, and kill?Dazai always thought that he would never die, he commit suicide constantly and let people murder him but it never stuck. The reason it never stuck was in the name of his ability. ‘No longer human’.

People always wondered what the name of the ability entailed seeing as it had nothing to do with nullification. The name didn’t come from his ability, it came from the cause of his death. Humans are the only animal capable of committing suicide or letting themselves die intentionally, That’s what makes them human and different from all the others animals.

Dazai was not human.

He was human In the sense he had opposable thumbs, and consciousness, but he didn’t have morals or the ability to die by his own hands. The only way for his existence to end was getting caught off guard or overpowered. That’s why he paid odasaku to kill him.

At least that was the only way to kill him at the start, but that Day over a hundred years ago changed it. The man almost died in a small town in northern Norway, a hunter had shot him while he was watching the northern lights.

Chuuyas soul latched onto dazais in a last ditch effort to save its partner, it gave dazais heart a jump start. The two men had matching purple and blue eyes for a couple days before they went back to normal. It wasn’t discovered until Dazais first month in the agency many years later that he could die again. The man who was always scared of losing his loved ones, and was scared of hurting Chuuya when he eventually died had a new fate. His existence would end at the same time as chuuya so their two connected souls don’t have to live on for eternity alone.

Dazai thinks it’s beautiful, chuuya thinks it’s cheesy. Chuuya doesn’t have to worry about Dazai dying. Dazai doesn’t have to worry about chuuya living on without him. The two men are connected in a way people could only dream of, and it brought them closer then ever.

Dazai was Human, and he was gonna prove it.

AUTHORS NOTE: hey I just wanted to clarify a couple things. As I’ve said god tier ability users get sent back 10000 years at 18. Which means when Dazai (age 15 In the last chapter) met odasaku(age 19), oda had already known him for 10000 years. Dazai obviously hadn’t met him yet since he wasn’t 18.

So since Dazai was 17 when odasaku died(in this story, I’m not sure what the cannon age was) he hadn’t gone back yet and had only known odasaku for just under three years at that point. Basically Dazai watched odasaku die, then got the chance to meet him again when he travelled back. I hope I’m explaining this right.

I know the timeline is kind of confusing for that specific part, sorry guys lmao.
“God tier ability users travel back in time at age 18, it’s due to this that the two best friends are both able to see eachother die. Oda died after the time skip, dazai was dying during. “
Oda died once he lived through the 10000 years and made it back to the current timeline and Dazai almost died during his time in the past, obviously Dazai ended up living but I just wanted to specify what that line meant.

I think I explained that right but if y’all have any questions feel free to leave a comment and ask.

Chapter Text

The office was in a panic, not because of a case but because atsushi couldn’t dance the waltz. “We probably won’t dance, isn’t it just a small party?” Whined the weretiger. Yosano laughed.”I’m telling you that there will be dancing, you need to represent the agency while you’re there, so suck it up and put your hand on my waist.”

Yosano taught Atsushi and Kenji how to dance the basic waltz quickly. “I’m honestly surprised Dazai and Ranpo can do the waltz, it seems a bit too classy for the pair.” Said kunikida. Dazai gasped loudly, while Ranpo just elbowed Dazai.

“I’ll have you know I can do all sorts of dances, waltz, tango..” replied Dazai In a sing song voice, using his fingers to count the multiple ways he can dance.

“Did chuuya teach you? He’s rich right?”asked kenji excitedly. The boy always got excited when chuuya was brought up, or would bring him up at any opportunity. he loved the man who kept his hat on upside down.

“Not all rich people dance kenji.” Said kunikida with a frown. Dazai stood up and walked over to Ranpo. Ranpo put his arm on dazais waist and the duo started dancing.

“I taught him how to dance, we had to go to a stupid gala when we were like 15 and he didn’t know how. I learned the other dances cause I was rich and bored, like kenji said.” Explained Dazai, still holding onto Ranpo. Dazai knew how to dance both the female and male parts of the dances, but when dancing with Ranpo he always played the woman. It’s just something the two men had always done.

“Technically isn’t it chuuyas money?you shouldn’t waste it on stuff like that.” Complained kunikida. Dazai scoffed. Kunikida was just jealous of his dancing skills. Or Atleast that’s what Dazai told himself to feel better.

“I’ll have you know, It was all my money that I spent on the dance lessons, not chuuyas. I’m not even sure what he spends his pay checks on other than wine.” Wondered the man out loud. Dazai had always had more money that he didn’t know what to do with, so he’d always buy most of their stuff.

“Let me guess, you used your money from your so called past profession?” Jabbed kunikida. Dazais face lit up. “Yes!” Cheered the man. These days, Dazai tried to make the best out of everything. If it meant cheering about kunikida remembering something Dazai had said in passing then so be it.

Kunikida didn’t look impressed with dazais answer. If anything he looked incredibly pissed off. Kyoka decided to join the conversation. “Dazai actually had a past job, he told me.” Said the small girl proudly. Kunikida wasn’t convinced.

“Dazai is an extremely secretive man, he tends to lie about a ton of things so it’s almost impossible to tell what’s the truth. We all got used to it, you should too.” Snapped the Man. Whenever Dazai was brought up, kunikida got frustursted. The two men had been partners for 4 years and there was nothing to show for it. He didn’t even know dazais favourite colour.

“I don’t think Dazai would lie about being-“
“Kyoka!”

Atsushi cut In. The attention of the room all went to the young weretiger. Kunikida was starting to get suspicious of the two kids. “Did Dazai actually tell you guys his previous profession?”gasped the man. Dazai nodded at his partner. I

“I’ve been your partner for four years Dazai, and you told two kids that you’ve known for a couple months?” Accused kunikida. He looked extremely hurt by the new revelation. Dazai wasn’t easily guilt tripped but he felt really bad. He had told Ranpo,atsushi, and Kyoka. Kouyou had told yosano, basically half the room knew.

Dazai didn’t like telling people things about himself, it’s easier for them to hurt him that way, and he doesn’t like pain. Dazai sighed. “How about this, I’ll tell you if you dress up As a woman for the event tonight.” Suggested the bandaged man.

Ranpo started laughing super hard. “I’m not dressing up In drag! That’s unprofessional.” Sputtered kunikida. Dazai joined in on ranpos laughter. “You’d be a radiant woman, not as pretty as me though.”sung Dazai.

Kunikidas jaw dropped. “You’ve dressed up as a woman?”asked the man in surprise. Dazai nodded. “Ranpo has too, we used to go to bars and see who could get the most numbers, it was me of course.” Replied Dazai.

Kunikida looked surprised for a minute until he realized it was Dazai. It wasn’t really all to surprising that Dazai had done that. Ranpo stole Dazais phone and unlocked it. He quickly found a photo and showed everyone.

The photo wasn’t what anyone was expecting when they heard the two men had dressed like woman. The photo was, slutty to say the least. The first thing everyone noticed was the outfits and make up, the second thing they noticed was there was 4 other people In the photo.

Dazai was wearing a short red dress with long sleeves,nylons(legging things) black stillettos and a wig. Chuuya was wearing a loose black dress that still managed to accentuate all of his curves, he was wearing red stillettos. It was clear the duo was matching, especially since the two were looking at each other while Dazai held up chuuyas thigh.

Ranpo On the other hand was wearing a cute button up dress with blue and green flowers, he was going for a more cute look, the man finished the outfit with a pair of black flats. Odasaku and ango were both wearing suits, they didn’t want to partake. Lastly there was fyodor.
Fyodor was wearing a pink dress with ruffles, and black heels.

Ranpo passed the phone around so everyone could see. “I recognize you two and chuuya but who are other people in the photo?” Asked atsushi as he tried to examine the photo. Kunikida snatched the phone and looked. “Is that sakuguchi from the special ability’s department?” Asked the man.

Dazai nodded. “At the time he was a triple agent in the mafia and mimic so I knew him through odasaku.” Replied the bandaged detective.

“I can’t even see the line on the fake tits, they look so real.” Gasped yosano while magnifying the photo onto Dazais chest. “They were super expensive prosthetics,I bought everyone some so that it would be even.” Answered Dazai simply.

“You never answered who the other people were.” Said Kyoka. Dazai smiled and took the phone back. “Alright well obviously I’m on the left holding chuuya, in the middle is Ranpo, the one wrapping his arm around him is fyodor, then it’s odasaku and ango.” Said the man, pointing at the people as he said their names.

He turned his phone off and put it back in his pocket. “So?” Asked Dazai, Im reference to kunikida dressing up. Kunikida shook his head. The mummified man just shrugged In reply.

“Can’t you just tell me?” Complained kunikida. Dazai shook his head. “You haven’t earned it yet.” Kunikida scoffed and crossed his arms.

“I haven’t earned it? I’ve been stuck with your ass as a partner for years.” Snapped the man. Dazai giggled at kunikidas snarkiness. “No need to get insecure kunikida~, I love you the most here! You’re the best partner ever.” Said Dazai. “You’re starting to sound like my husband though.” He added as an after thought.

Kunikida rolled his eyes. “ if your husband refers to himself as ‘stuck with you’ then why are you with him. He’s immortal and has probably had countless lovers before you, and will have countless after
You so what’s the point?” Asked kunikida.

The man didn’t mean for it to come out so mean but it did. Dazai wasn’t insecure about chuuyas past relationships because there were none. They had met at 15 and been together ever since so neither of them had dated anyone else. The two men certainly loved eachother though. Obviously Dazai couldn’t tell kunikida that though.

“He doesn’t care about my past, I don’t care about his.” Said the man confidently. The statement was true, they didn’t care about each others pasts. They had been together for most of it anyways.

“Do you age while dating him? You don’t look 24. You look the same In the photo from when you were in your teens as you do now.” Said kenji. Dazai paused unnoticeably. Why was it always kenji who caught him in a lie. the boy wasn’t exactly smart yet it seemed every time Dazai
was trying to hide something kenji would make a comment about it.

“I don’t, god tier ability users can share their immortality with their significant other. Technically they could share it with anyone but they’re limited to one person. Fyodor has a pet rat he’s had since the Black Plague. Anyways it’s not like I’m fully immortal or anything. I can still die amd get hurt. I just don’t age” explained Dazai. Technically speaking god tier
Ability users could do that. Chuuya and him never did but it was an option.

“That’s so cool!” Exclaimed the farm boy. Dazai laughed a bit. Kunikida looked a bit surprised but didn’t say anything. “If chuuya and I broke up though I would start aging again.” Said Dazai, answering the question he knew tanizaki was thinking.

A couple people may have known he was in the port mafia but no one knew he was a god tier ability user. He was going to keep it that way. If they knew that he was fully immortal everyone would also know his suicide attempts were real and not just a comedic relief thing. He didn’t want to risk it.

Nobody spoke after that, it was a bit awkward. The group all went back to their own separate conversations. Dazai and Ranpo were making predictions about the evening in code. Yosano was still working on kenji and atsushis dance moves. Kunikida was explaining something math related to tanizaki.

~~the Nakahara penthouse~~

“Do I look sexy?” Laughed Dazai while striking a stupid pose. Chuuya looked the man up and down and shook his head. The taller man gasped at his husbands cruel actions.

“How could you say that?! I look super sexy!” Claimed Dazai. Chuuya raised an eyebrow at his husband. The bandaged man was wearing an incredibly ugly suit. It was brown with weird black symbols on it.

“Get changed now.” Demanded chuuya. Dazai whined but did it nonetheless, he ended up in a dark navy blue tux. Chuuya on the other hand was wearing a black tux. The two immortal men had considered matching but decided against it since the guild didn’t know they were together. Well other then lovecraft and Edgar that is.

They left their room and went downstairs to the kitchen. Gin was wearing a cute simple dress, considering most of the port mafia thinks gin is a dude it will probably surprise people. Akutagawa is wearing a grey suit with a black button up and striped tie. Kyoka on the other hand was swearing a pink kimono. It suited her beautifully.

“Alrighty then, I’ll take Kyoka and meet you guys there.” Said Dazai while grabbing the keys off the counter. “Why can’t we all go together, your car has 5 seats?” Asked Kyoka.

“We can’t be seen exiting the same car as the port mafia. Chuuyas taking gin and ryuu in the new car we bought for the teens.” Explained Dazai. Kyoka nodded her head in understanding. The taller man leaned over and kissed his red headed husband before leaving with Kyoka.

Once they were down by the car Dazai got in. Kyoka tried to sit in the back but Dazai told her not to. She ended up sitting in the passengers side. They got to the building where the party was being held quickly. It was only a five minute drive from Dazais apartment.

The party was on the 20th floor of some fancy building. Dazai looked around the building and saw many vantage points for snipers, that he was sure would get used at some point in the evening.

They rode up in the elevator. Once they walked in to the building Kyoka looked around amazed. The room had a huge chandelier, the ceiling was high and looked as though it may have Been two floors renovated into one. Dazai scoped the room.

It looked like it was only guild members there, the invites all had slightly different times so that not everyone showed up at once. Dazai assumed it was guild first, important people next. Technically speaking Kyokas invite was set for an hour later but he had to drive her.

“Dazai, I’m so glad you could come.”said Fitzgerald, walking over to the pair. He smiled at Dazai but made a look of disgust at the young girl. “Her invite said not to come until later.” Pointed out Fitzgerald.

“Yes well I am the current guardian of Kyoka so I had to bring her with me.” Explained Dazai. Fitzgerald looked unhappy but shrugged. “ I wanted to talk to you about a private matter.” Complained Fitzgerald.

“Oh that’s fine, one second.” Said Dazai. The bandaged man looked all around the room searching for a certain person. His currently brown eyes met with yellow eyes across the building. Lovecraft.

“Lovecraft! Could you hangout with Kyoka for a bit? Your boss wants to speak with me.” Asked Dazai informally. Fitzgerald looked a bit surprised to see Dazai trust a guild member so easily but ignored it. Lovecraft simply nodded and held his hand out for Kyoka. She took it and the two walked over to where Edgar sat.

Dazai watched them for a couple minutes to make sure Kyoka was comfortable before turning his attention back to Fitzgerald. “What can I do for you?” Asked the man politely.

Fitzgerald smiled slyly, the type of smile one makes before ruining someone’s life. “I just wanted to show you over to your seat, there’s place cards everywhere.” Explained Fitzgerald. Dazai nodded in understanding. The guild leader wanted to show him to his seat, where he assumed a sniper was ready to shoot him. He smiled at the man and followed Fitzgerald.

“Right here.” Said Fitzgerald, pulling out a seat beside his own. All the seats in the room were around round tables except for theirs. They had a rectangular table, at the side of the room. Fitzgerald was at the end, Dazai and Fukuzawa sat side by side on the long part of the table, closest to the wall, and Mori sat on the other end. Or Atleast that’s where the place cards were set for when Mori and Fukuzawa arrived.

The tables were all on the right side of the room, the rest of the floor was empty. It was only high end members from the port mafia so they didn’t need too many tables. There was set to be around 75 people in the building. 45 of which were guild members.

Dazai took the seat and Fitzgerald walked over to his own. “Would you like a beverage? We have a very good selection tonight.” Said the sketchy man. Dazai smiled and nodded telling the other man to pick something for him.

He ended up with some sort of wine, he took a sip and immediately recognized a slow working poison. He didn’t want to say anything so he kept drinking it. Due to his faster healing his body should hold of death for Atleast 7 hours. He’d be weakened though so perhaps he should go to the washroom and kill himself first so that it heals during the resurrection.

Dazai ended up deciding on the latter, excusing himself to go to the washroom. Technically he could still die, he’d just immediately come back after so nobody would notice. He had a pill that would kill him in 10 minutes that he took quickly. After ten minutes passed He died and woke up 5 minutes later.

When he exited the washroom most of the armed detectives agency members and all five of the port mafia executives were there. There was music playing and people starting to dance, he was making his way over to chuuya when someone tapped his shoulder.

“Care to dance?”

Chapter Text

“Care to dance?”

Dazai turned around to face the voice. He couldn’t say he was surprised to see the mans face. “I’d love to.” Replied Dazai.

The guild member took his arm and pulled him close. The two immortals immediately started dancing and made their way slowly to where the dance floor was.

“So the guild huh?” Chuckled Dazai. The other man wasn’t quick to join him. “Yes, and you’re a detective now.” Replied the man. Dazai looked into lovecrafts bright yellow eyes. “Well the port mafia wasn’t exactly my style.”

Lovecraft looked suprised by dazais answer. “And being a detective is? You’re morals aren’t exactly great if you haven’t noticed.” Stated the man simply. Dazai laughed and tightened his grip on lovecraft.

“I wasn’t referring to that, I meant working under Mori. If I stayed a day longer I would’ve killed Mori and taken the throne for myself and I’m not exactly a fan of having that much responsibility. At the armed detectives agency it’s much more laid back.” Explained Dazai. Lovecraft nodded along with every word the bandaged man said.

“So you don’t miss it?”

Dazai paused. Honestly, the man sometimes did miss it. He didn’t miss killing or torturing people but he missed working alongside his husband and adopted kids. Dazai always wondered what would’ve happened If he had stayed.

“I don’t care about good and evil and you know that, but like odasaku once said, being on the side that saves people might make my world a little bit more beautiful. After all the horrors in my life I think I needed that, that change in my life.” Said Dazai.

Lovecraft didn’t speak again after that. The strange yellow eyed man wasn’t known for chatting so Dazai was happy he got those few words out of him.

Dazai had a one side conversation telling lovecraft about chuuya, fyodor, and the kids. Dazai had told Lovecraft many years in the past about the aktuagwas but this was the first time Lovecraft had seen them. Dazai hadn’t even seen lovecraft in about 15 years.

Dazai and Lovecraft made their way over to ryuu, atsushi, and Gins table. “This is lovecraft.” Introduced Dazai. The aktugawas faces lit up in recognition, atsushi on the other hand looked lost.

Dazai came up with some story about Chuuya and love craft knowing eachother, not wanting the further reveal himself. Lovecraft Made attempts to seem cool and actually talk to the teens. He told them a story about playing poker with some famous Russian dude.

A new face joined the group. “Dazai it’s absolutely lovely to see you again.” Said the man sweetly. His shoulder length hair cupped his cruel face attractively. Dazai internally scoffed at moris attempt at being civil.

“I wish I could say the same.” Said Dazai back at the man, equally if not more sweetly. Moris left cheek twitched but he quickly recovered. “Id love if you could join me for a dance.” Said Mori.

Dazai sighed heavily. “And I wish you could die, but I’m not getting that am I?” Replied Dazai. The bandaged man
Still stood up and faced the man. Atsushi looked absolutely horrified that Dazai had just said that to the boss of the port mafia.

Dazai looked the man up and down with a smirk. “Is that a gun In your pants or are you just happy to see me?” Said Dazai playfully. Mori laughed. The shorter man(I totally thought Mori was taller but apparently not? It had me super shook) pulled Dazai Flat up against himself.

“What if I said both?” Whispered Mori into Dazais ear. Mori wrapped his arm around dazais entire body pulling him even closer, his hand cupping Dazais hip bone. Dazai pulled away partly, still holding onto the man, but moving moris hand higher. “Then I’d be surprised, it’s not everyday Mori finds someone older than 14 sexually appealing, though I was always a special case.” Snarled Dazai.Mori chuckled and loosened his grip on Dazai, pulling away slightly as well.

“Indeed.”

Dazai saw atsushi flinch out of the corner of his eye. Dazai had told atsushi and Kyoka about his time in the port mafia briefly but he never mentioned how high up he was, or that he knew Mori. The bandaged man felt bad that he hadn’t said anything but it wasn’t something people could exactly scream off the roof tops.

The two powerful men danced over to
The dance floor. They chatted in code about what was to come. The music stopped abruptly snatching both of their attention. The live band switched to a different person. Just one man holding a cello. Dazai smiled At the memory of the first time he heard fyodor play the cello. Dazai could never bring himself to listen to others play after that, fyodors playing was just that magnificent. It appeared that wouldn’t be a problem.

The man started playing and everyone went back to their chatting and dancing. “So have you considered my offer at all?” Asked Mori, stating up their conversation again. Dazai nodded. “And what would your answer be?”

Dazai looked down at the man, who was only slightly shorter then himself. “I’m
Not interested, the whole port mafia shebang is chuuyas thing now.”

Mori didn’t look surprised by dazais answer, the man chuckled at dazais boldness. It would appear that the two men were old friends catching up to those around them, but their conversation was unbeknownst to the other guests, a battle of wits. One that Dazai was winning by a land slide.

The host of the party wandered over to Dazai and Mori. “May I cut in?” Asked Fitzgerald. Mori nodded and let go of Dazai, his eyes lingering on dazais for a couple extra seconds before he turned for good.

It was now Fitzgerald’s turn to put his hand on dazais waist, but the man didn’t have any sexual undertones to his actions. “How are you liking the party so far?” Asked the guild leader.

“The hall is stunning, the company is mediocre.” Replied Dazai, gesturing to Mori. Fitzgerald chuckled once he caught on. “So you’ve made your decision I presume?”

Dazai looked directly into Fitzgerald’s eyes. The man held no fear behind them, only strength. Dazai knew Fitzgerald’s
Type, he planned for everything so that he couldn’t fail, and he underestimated everyone. All of which would eventually be the mans downfall.

“Well of course, what type of man do you take me for?” Joked Dazai. Fitzgerald gripped Dazais hand tighter. It was so tight the average person would’ve flinched but Dazai was completely unbothered. “The type to stall.” Replied Fitzgerald honestly.

Dazai didn’t reply, purposely trying to make Fitzgerald suspicious. The two men dances awkwardly in silence for a couple minutes before chuuya relieved Dazai of his duty.

“Someone’s popular.” Laughed the redhead. Dazai sighed and rested his chin on chuuyas head. The two men swayed together, not really dancing. Once the somg was over Fitzgerald requested everyone went to their tables for dinner.

There was a menu so they could pick what they got. Dazai got the same as Fitzgerald, not really caring about what it was. Either way it was going to be poisoned so it didn’t matter.

When the food came Dazai ate it slowly. Apparently Fitzgerald wasn’t great at picking poisons, both of them had a taste. The one In his food would have sped up the process if Dazai had still had the other poison in his system. But on its own it just gave him a bit of a headache.

The four most powerful men in the room all chatted about stupid things, nothing about the war or the truce. All four men eventually went up to where the cellist stood. Dazai went to the mic and leaned In.

“The armed detectives agency has made a decision. We made the choice that not only benefit us the most at the moment, but will benefit us in the long run.” Said Dazai. After the words left his mouth it was clear to all three other men what Dazai had chosen.

“We chose the port mafia, the truce between our three great organizations will end at 12 tonight and the partnership between the port mafia and ada will begin.” Finished Dazai. The room was dead silent. No One uttered a single word.

Fitzgerald was the only one to move, and it was to not so discretely itch his nose. The movement let his workers know their plan was being put into motion. Dazai saw a glint on the building across the way. He knew it was aimed at Mori so he quickly pushed Mori over. The bullet hit the wall behind them. Fitzgerald swore and yelled at his employees to fight.

Dazai, still on top of Mori quickly grabbed the gun that was in the port mafia bosses pants and threw it at the cellist. He then grabbed the two guns that Mori had hidden in holsters, handing one to Mori before grabbing the other for himself.

Dazai quickly aimed for guild members. The ada looked suprised at dazais quick thinking but all reacted quickly. Kunikida used his ability to make weapons and gave one to Ranpo before running off to save the others.

Dazai On the other hand made his way for to chuuya and quickly as possible, with him on their side the battle would end quickly.

“The fuck do you want me to do?” Asked chuuya, who had yet to activate his ability. The small man was holding everyone off with just his good old fashioned physical strength. “Use your ability and just lift the guild members up and smash them down.” Replied Dazai while taking a shot at someone aiming a gun at kenji.

Chuuya did as he was told and he knocked around 35 of the guild members out. The rest of the ada and port mafia members quickly knocked out the rest.

“Why aren’t we killing them?” Asked higuchi, Curious as to why all the guild members were still breathing. “This isn’t over yet, the majority of the guild members weren’t here tonight anyways so it doesn’t matter.”replied Dazai. The woman had been asking ryuu so she was pissed off Dazai had been the one the answer.

The whole battle had lasted only 3 minutes, everything happened extremely quickly due to the advantage the port mafia and ada had.

“We should go, we will get in contact with you soon concerning the guild.” Said Fukuzawa before turning around and exiting the room, the majority of the detectives followed. Dazai and atsushi lingered for a moment.

“Can we talk in private please?” Asked the young boy. Dazai nodded and the two trailed behind. When they left the building nobody was outside, dazais phone dinged.

Yosano:
I have Kyoka, we are going out for icecream. Kouyou and chuuya are gonna meet us there in 20 if you want to join us.

Dazai:
Can atsushi come?

Yosano:
Sure, I’ll text kouyou and tell her to bring the Akutagawas

Dazai:
Perfect, we are just having a convo and will be there in like 15 minutes

Dazai put his phone away after replying. “Who texted you?” Asked atsushi. Dazai replied with the name of the female
Doctor. The two boys walked down the road to get to the underground parking where Dazais car sat.

“About What Mori was saying in there...” started the boy, but Dazai cut in before atsushi could finish.

“Atsushi its all in the past now.” Said Dazai while wrapping a comforting arm around atsushi. The were tiger sighed softly. “But you two know eachother personally, and you made a joke about him being a pedo and you being special.” Said the boy.

Dazai unwrapped his arm around the boy and got into his car. Atsushi stood outside the car for a moment before getting in. Once they both had seat belts on Dazai started driving, not using the cruise control.

“Listen atsushi, as you know I joined the port mafia when I was 9 right?” Questioned Dazai, knowing the answer already. Atsushi nodded so Dazai continued on with his trail of thought.

“I was in the port mafia until I was 18, so that was 9 years for me to learn and grow into one of the high end positions. So yes I knew mori personally seeing as he was the one who trained me.” Explained
Dazai. Atsushi gasped. “Did he do anything to you?” Yelled the boy in reference to the words spoken at the party.

“It’s the port mafia what do you expect? Moris tastes always lied with the more younger end of the scale. I was one of the few people that he had interest in past the age of 14.” Finished Dazai, not wanting to speak about the topic any longer.

Atsushi shivered at the words that had left dazais mouth. “Is that why you’re asexual?” Wondered the boy out loud. Dazai shook his head. “For most people past sexual Trauma very well could be the reason for their asexuality but in my case I just never liked sex, it’s gross.” Explained Dazai. Atsushi flinched when Dazai said sexual trauma.

The two drove In silence the rest of the way. “So this was a private conversation okay?” Asked Dazai. Atsushi nodded and quickly went to open his door but Dazai locked it. The boy swiftly turned to face Dazai.

“I just want you to know I’m okay, it was 6 years ago and I have chuuya now.” said dazai before unlocking the doors.

“Why does chuuya work for him if he did that?”

Dazai paused. Some days he had wondered that himself. “It’s just a job for him, so I told him it didn’t matter.” Replied Dazai carefully.

“But it does matter.” Claimed the boy. “I’m not gonna take about this with a child.” Said Dazai in a snarky voice before getting out of the car. The two men walked over to yosano at Kyoka.

“I need to talk to yosano privately, can you two go hangout over there?” Asked Dazai, pointing at some random bench in the distance.

Once they two kids were out of hearing range Dazai sighed And sat down on the ground. “I just argued with atsushi.” Frowned the bandaged man.

Yosano began to speak but Dazai kept
Talking. “He didn’t even do anything wrong, I just snapped at him. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even a good parental figure to the Akutagawas. I mean if I had just brought them to an orphanage they could’ve had normal lives. Lives not in the port mafia.”

The female doctor leaned over and placed a comforting arm on the immortal man. “Dazai you are a great parent. If you had given the Akutagawas to an orphanage they could’ve been treated like atsushi. And Atsushi has a tendency to be nosy so it’s understandable for you to get frustrated with him every once in a while.” Comforted the woman. Dazai nodded along with her kind words.

“He was telling me chuuya shouldn’t be in the port mafia because of Mori.” Revealed Dazai. Yosano raised an eyebrow In confusion. “Why? His boyfriend is in the port mafia too?”

Dazai sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Yes but it’s a bit of a different situation with us.” Said Dazai. The two sat in silence for a minute before yosano made the connection.

“Oh Dazai...” whispered the woman. “Doctor yosano, I’m completely fine, it doesn’t matter.” Said Dazai. Yosano looked unconvinced but didn’t continue.

But honestly Dazai was fine with chuuya working in the port mafia. He knew Mori wouldn’t touch chuuya or the Akutagawas with a ten foot pool. It was just a job so Dazai learned to not care.

“So, anyone feel like cake?” Asked Ranpo cutting into the tense silence between the two. They both chuckled. “We are at an icecream store Ranpo.” Said Dazai.

Ranpo looked around and smiled. “So what? I’m craving red velvet cake.” Whined the man. The group walked over to atsushi and Kyoka. In the distance Dazai could see the mafiosos coming and he smiled. Kouyou shoved chuuya for some reason.

He sure loved those idiots.

Chapter Text

Friday morning all the members of the ada went into the office knowing their play time was over, the guild was coming for them. Dazai and Ranpo sat together as they started to make plans but kunikida interrupted their conversation.

“How did you know that was going to happen last night?” Asked the man. Dazai raised an eyebrow and put his pen down on the table. “What do you mean? It was obvious what was going to happen. Plus I told you and yosano before hand.” Explained the man with a dark look in his eyes.

Their conversation was heard by everyone. “That’s not what I mean and you know it. I overheard you and Ranpo talking yesterday night about how you predicted everything spot on for the evening.” Said kunikida, with a Confused look on his face.

“Why were you listening in on our conversation? Trying to catch me doing something bad.” Accused Dazai, causing kunikida to flinch under the harsh gaze. Dazai was right. Kunikida knew something was strange with Dazai these days, the man was being suspicious and he was going to get to the bottom of it.

“Come on kunikida~ I was only joking right? There’s no way I could’ve predicted everything. I was being overdramatic since I predicted a couple of things and was happy about it.” Laughed the man loudly. The detectives other than kunikida all went back to what they were doing, writing off the whole situation as Dazai being a Dick.

Kunikida on the other hand, who almost never gets scared felt like he was going to piss his pants. His partner Dazai, whom he had never perceived as a threat was now making his heart pound in his chest. The man found himself reaching for his notebook to be able to defend himself.

“Why are you reaching for your notebook? This is a friendly conversation right.” Said the bandaged man in an extremely cheery voice. Yosano peaked into their direction and Immediately saw through it all. She walked over to Dazai and grabbed his shoulder before leaning over and whispering in his ear.

“Quit it Dazai, your port mafia is showing.”

Dazai flinched noticeably, which was caught by kunikida and atsushi. Dazai whispered an apology into the woman’s ear, causing her to leave.

Dazai knew the woman was right,he was starting to manipulate kunikida. “I apologize for my behaviour kunikida, that was unacceptable. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me.” Said the man like a robot, no emotion in his voice. He didn’t seem very apologetic.

Atsushi looked confused. “But Dazai didn’t do anything, I was listening to the conversation.” Said the confused boy, but kunikida did Dazai a favour by explaining it.

“The thing about conversation isn’t just words, but also body language. Dazai was giving off extremely violent body language which was making me react as well.” Stated the man. It should’ve been obvious since they were all Detectives but apparently not.

“Dazai was just sitting normally though?he wasn’t sitting in a threatening way.” Said atsushi, which was true. Dazai had been sitting in a polite way, it was all in the eyes. It took an extremely powerful man to make someone flinch under their gaze, Dazai was one of them.

“It was all In the eyes my dear atsushi. I may have Been saying polite and normal words, and I may have been sitting like your average person, but my eyes were telling a completely different story.”Explained Dazai.

Not only could Dazai do that, but even with his contacts in. tanizaki cut in. “Can you show me? If it made kunikida scared then it seems like something we should all learn.” Suggested the boy. Kenji, Naomi, and Atsushi nodded along.

But of course it wasn’t something you learned, it was something you earned. Many people can act scary, or pretend they are strong but Dazai had everything to back it up. He could kill someone 20 ways with a pencil, probably more.

Dazai could make those eyes because he knew he had everything he needed to back it up, he had made multiple grown men piss themselves under his dark stare back in his teen years. It wasn’t something he did often, it was usually unintentional to make people fear him. Now that he was at the armed detectives agency he didn’t really need that.

“It’s not really something I can teach you. I just picked it up in my teen years to get my way with teachers.” Answered the man, disappointing the tanizakis.

Atsushi, Kyoka, and yosano of course read between the lines and connected the dots about the port mafia. Dazai decided to show the tanizakis the stare. Both of them shivered and looked away almost
Immediately. So he smiled and stopped.

“That was really scary Dazai, please don’t do that again.” Begged the siblings. Dazai agreed that he wouldn’t intentionally. “I bet your teachers did whatever you wanted.” Laughed yosano to clear the air. Dazai of course didn’t realize that.

“Yeah, it was the last face many saw.” Said the bandaged man in a dark voice. Then his phone went off which immediately lit up his whole face. His face fell when he read the contact.

“what do you want, I’m busy.”
“We need to prepare for the showdown with the guild.”
“I already have it all planned.”
“I expect no less from a ex port mafia executive.”
“I will text you the date, we can discuss the details then. Until then, do not contact me.”

Dazai hung up immediately after, he hated talking to Mori. The man looked up and saw everyone looking at him.

“What is it?” Questioned Dazai. Kunikida put down his notebook and sighed. “Nothing, you just looked very strange.” Answered kunikida.

Dazai knew what the man meant, he didn’t need to get told. This time it wasn’t about his threatening eyes, it was about his smile. Another one of dazias port mafia faces was his care free one. The one where he would threaten someone with a smile on his face and a kind tone of voice. It tended to work and get him his way, plus many people found it more frightening then the scary eyes.

The room was filled with an awkward silence. “You and chuuya were so cool yesterday, you fought awesome as a team. It was like you both already knew what the person was going to do. Plus it was cute that he didn’t hurt anyone until he had your permission, and that he waited for your plan first. “ said kenji excitedly. That farm boy always did like bringing up chuuya.

“Oh yeah, we are used to working together so we’ve gotten good.” Explained Dazai. Which to most meant nothing, but it intrigued something in kunikida.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Asked kunikida with how own version of dazais threatening gaze.

Chapter Text

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Asked kunikida with how own version of dazais threatening gaze.

Dazai met the mans gaze head on. “I’m sure I don’t know what your implying here kunikida.” Said the man lightly, as though he were testing the water.

Dazai hadn’t been suspected of in years, his past was locked away. He knew it would come out eventually, he had just hoped it would’ve been later down the line.

“Who are you?” Asked kunikida, the mans shoulders were starting to get tense. “That sure is a loaded question.” Replied Ranpo with a chuckle. The detectives in the room turned to Ranpo.

The candy addicted man just shrugged before popping a bunch of jelly beans in his mouth. Kunikida turned back to face Dazai.

“What has been going on with you recently? You’ve been all out of sorts. Is this about the guild? Or working with the port mafia? You need to let us into the loop.” Asked kunikida softly, choosing a different approach.

Dazai sighed, he had a choice. Be honest, or keep up the facade. The decision was not something he was ready to make, so he did what any scared person would do. He ran.

“Dazai stop!” Yelled multiple people all at once, but the bandaged man couldn’t listen. He ran our the door and immediately went towards his car. When he sat down in it he saw kunikida and atsushi running towards him so he revved the engine. Both detectives were caught off guard so Dazai sped past them, not worrying about the cruise control.

The immortal man sped through the streets, weaving through the cars. Of course it didn’t take long for the ADA car to be trailing behind him. Dazai squished the driving wheel in between his knees and kept driving. He pulled out his phone and started texting atsushi.

Dazai:
why are you guys following me, I need space.

Atsushi:
you were being super suspicious, I think he’s on to you.

Dazai:
it took him long enough😜

Atsushi:
it’s not a joke Dazai!

Dazai:
I know, tell kunikida to leave me alone for a bit, I think we both need to cool off.

Atsushi:
.....
That’s mature of you... are you sure you’re not just running away? Also how are you texting?

Dazai:
the car is on cruise control

Atsushi:
no it’s not, even if it’s a fancy car it can’t be that good. You’re switching between lanes and cars.

Dazai:
I’m steering with my knees

Atsushi:
Dazai!!!! Put the phone down!

Dazai did as told and put his phone down on the dash board, but he didn’t slow down. He checked the rear view camera and saw that kunikida was still on his tail.

*ring ring*

The phone was going off on the dash board. He quickly checked the contact and it read slug, he swore before answering it.

“Hey babe.” Said the man flamboyantly, chuuya was not impressed. “You shitty jerk, atsushi just phoned and told me you’re in a ducking car chase right now.” yelled chuuya loudly.

Dazai flinched at his husbands scream. “I couldn’t-“ started Dazai, but chuuya cut him off. “Do NOT make excuses right now, go back right now and apologize.” Demanded the small redhead.

He quickly agreed before chuuya hung up on him. The car switched lanes so he could turn into a parking lot, the detectives followed him.

Dazai slowly pulled into a spot and parked his car. Just as he was about to open his door he saw kunikida holding a gun out of the corner of his eye. He opened the door quickly and got out, catching the man off guard.

“Dazai, stop moving. Put your hands up!” Demanded the man. Atsushi looked absolutely horrified by the reaction of kunikida. Dazai smirked and did as told.

“Why did you run?” Asked kunikida, while lowering his gun. Dazai lowered his hands and sighed. “What did you expect me to do? You were accusing me of god knows what!” Countered Dazai

“What did you expect me to do? You realize you were acting like a criminal right?” Replied kunikida causing Dazai to flinch. He was a criminal. He had blood mafia black.

He muttered something that was unheard by the two detectives, which of course gave time for the rest of the ADA members to exit the van yosano had driven to catch up.

“Huh?” Said atsushi hoping for Dazai to repeat himself, now Infront of an audience. “I said what If I am, what if I was?” Asked Dazai with a pained look.

Kunikida dropped the gun on the ground. “You- you’re a criminal? You’re port fucking mafia arent you?” Yelled the man while picking up the gun and aiming straight for the mans forehead.

It was Ranpo who yelled a reply. Not Dazai . “Stop it kunikida!” Demanded the candy addicted man. The female doctor joined him. “Put the gun down.”

He did as told but looked over at Dazai with a disappointed face. “I thought you were better that that, you’re a double agent right?” Asked the man, unsure if he had come to the right conclusion.

“No i left when I turned 18.” Answered Dazai. Kunikida faltered but quickly recovered. “When did you join? Did you choose too?” Asked kunikida hoping for some reasoning behind dazais past.

“I was nine, obviously I didn’t choose to be in the mafia.” Snarled Dazai, but he immediately regretted it after seeing everyone’s faces. They all looked horrified by the recent discovery, all except for those who already knew.

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you guys!” Yelled Dazai hysterically, in reference to the horrified faces. He rubbed his eyes viciously in hopes of stopping the tears that were starting to pour.

“Dazai I understand. I’m sorry for pushing you to tell me.” Apologized kunikida while bowing, but the damage was done. Nobody looked afraid of him, no they looked at him with pity, which to Dazai was a thousand times worse.

“We still love and trust you, the past doesn’t matter.” Said atsushi with his signature smile, which in any other situation Dazai would have found contagious.

Everyone gave him words of encouragement and apologies for pushing him, but that didn’t make it hurt him any less. “Can I have the day off? I need space.” Questioned Dazai, though no matter what kunikida answered he was going home.

Kunikida nodded in affirmation, so Dazai got in his car without saying another word. He finally let all the tears fall as he drove to a random abandoned building. The bandaged man walked up to the very top of the roof and sat on the edge.

He didn’t plan on jumping or anything of the sort, he just wanted to look at the city. The beautiful city where so much had happened. So many deaths, so many arrests, so many hugs and kisses, there was just so many memory’s.

Sometimes it got to be too much for Dazai, he would take some mini vacations from the city because it hurt too much. With the guild stuff going on he didn’t have the luxury to do so. Dazai pulled out his phone and looked at a photo of him and oda. He still hadn’t found the god tier ability user child, another thing for him to be upset about.

He put the phone down and closed his eyes, deciding to let himself rest. Just as he was about to drift off he heard someone speak.

“Time has not treated you well old friend...”

Chapter Text

“Time has not treated you well old friend...”

Dazai didn’t need to open his eyes to know who it was. Ango sakaguchi. “Thanks.” Laughed the man, knowing he was referring to his ever decreasing mental health.

“How are you doing?” Asked ango but Dazai couldn’t bring himself to answer. No sad person wants to be put on the spot, because it’s very likely that they’ll start crying, and Dazai did just that.

He wished he could’ve taken a photo of the shock on Angos face. Laughing through the tears, the bandaged man spoke.

“Why are you here?”

Ango walked over and sat next to him. “I missed you.” Replied the man. Dazai knew he was telling the truth which is what made it hurt so much more.

The immortal man started crying hysterically, ango made an attempt to comfort him but Dazai flinched away from his touch.

“I thought that- I thought that we were okay again?” Asked ango, now unsure of where the duo now stood. Dazai did him a favour by revealing his inner thoughts for once.

“We are okay, but I’m not. I’m a mess for fucks sake.” Laughed Dazai. It wasn’t even a fake laugh. It was the laugh behind a man who genuinely thought his messed up life was funny.

“I messed everything up with the agency. They know I was in the port mafia. They say the don’t care but I know they do deep down, it’d be impossible for them to not.” Said Dazai, whose face was now emotionless.

“I’m sure they care Dazai, they are all nice people.” Tried ango, in an attempt to reassure his oldest friend. “They’re nice?Then I’m sure you realize I don’t fit in with them. Maybe I should’ve stayed in the port mafia.” Complained Dazai with a small smirk.

“Don’t you dare say that! The port mafia destroyed us! Think about odasaku!”Yelled the special departments officer. Dazai turned to face ango, with an emotionless face that shook ango to his core.

“No, you did.” Whispered Dazai loudly enough that ango could barely hear it. “Huh?” Replied ango.

“The port mafia didn’t fucking destroy us! You did! You’re the reasons he’s dead!” Screamed Dazai, loud to the point he throat was sore.

Ango didn’t even flinch this time, he had a smile on his face. “ I thought we were past this, I guess not. I’ll see you later Dazai. Good luck with whatever you’re up too.” Claimed ango before leaving.

Dazai let out a humourless laugh. All he had wanted was to talk to his old friend yet he messed it up, like every other time they tried. He always hid everything but for once he thought he could talk to ango yet he flipped out on the man like always.

“I’m sorry.” Muttered Dazai to the city Infront of him. He looked down at the road with a sad look on his face. “Why can’t I just die? Why can’t I just be fucking normal? Stupid chuuya! Why did he have to split his soul with me!” Screamed Dazai at the sky.

He looked at one of the windows across the way and saw a sniper. The one from the guild. Dazai waved at them but made no effort to move.

His phone started ringing loudly, he pulled it out to see kunikidas contact. He sighed heavily before answering. “I thought you were giving me the day off?” Snarked the man.

“Dazai, the guild sent us a message telling us to ‘take better care of our employees’ are you okay?” Asked kunikida. Dazai thought about lying, but he realized it was probably for the best that he be truthful.

“I’m okay, but there’s a sniper on my position.” Admitted Dazai reluctantly. Yells were heard on the other end of the call.

“What? Where are you? Can you take cover?” Yelled kunikida, panic showing more In his words the longer he spoke.

“I could.”

The other end of the phone went silent. It was atsushi who spoke up first. “But will you?” Asked the young boy. Dazai had hoped that they wouldn’t catch on to his implication, but of course with his luck they did.

Shuffling was heard before Ranpo spoke. “Dazai, just go home and see chuuya, don’t do something you’ll regret.”

Dazai gave a small smile and agreed before hanging up. He didn’t want to hear the agency any longer. The man had gone up there to relax, and that’s what he was going to do.

The building was in the more sketchy side of town, so no one would really care all to much if they heard gun shots. The phone started to ring again so he threw it off the roof. He then took off his shoes and jacket, throwing those off as well. He stood up and looked over the edge.

The street was empty, he moved his arms out (like a t-pose? I don’t know how to describe that lmao). Of course it started to rain at that moment.

Two bullets pierced through his chest, and the bandaged man fell back onto the roof. As he bled out slowly on the roof, waiting for death to finally take him so he could regenerate, one thought kept circling through his mind.

“Why can’t this be real.”

~~~~

“He’s not answering. What should we do?” Asked atsushi, genuinely concerned about Dazai.

“He’ll be fine.” Assured ranpo, though of course he couldn’t give them any proof without revealing Dazais immortality.

“I can’t even track his phone, it’s not working.” Yelled kunikida. Everyone in the room was starting to get more anxious as time went on. They had no way of knowing where their suicidal co-worker could be.

“I can’t give you specifics but I assure you guys he will be fine!” Yelled Ranpo into the once silent room. It had been 10 minutes since Someone last spoke so it seemed like an outburst. everyone started yelling replies.

“How can you say that? He could be dead Ranpo!”

“If you don’t give us proof there’s no way we can know for sure.”

“He implied he wanted to get shot!”

“I just want everything to go back to normal.” Cried Kyoka at everyone’s yelling. The detectives in the room turned to the young girl.

“I’m sorry for our outbursts Kyoka, but you have to understand the situation.” Started kunikida but he flinched at the realization. He had worded it wrong.

“Of course I understand the situation! More than any of you do!” Said Kyoka with a voice void of emotion. Tears ran down the poor girls face as she wrapped her arms around herself.

“He’s going to be okay, I know he will so please stop yelling.” Whispered the girl loud enough so that only atsushi and kunikida could hear.

The two men agreed. The agency phone started ringing and everyone leapt over to answer it.

“Hello?”

It was Dazai so kunikida sighed in relief. “What happened? We were so worried.” Admitted the man.

“Everything’s fine, I’ll see you tomorow. I just wanted to let you know I’m alive.” Said Dazai before hanging up.

“What happened?” Asked yosano, confused as to why he had put the phone down.

“He hung up , he told me he was alive and that he’d see me tomorrow.” Answered kunikida.

“That’s good right?” Asked atsushi, unsure as to why kunikida was acting strange.

“Yeah...”

“They why are you crying?”

Kunikida flinched harshly and lifted his hand up to his face, he hadn’t know he was crying.

“I’m sad.” Claimed kunikida, and everyone believed him. “Dazai may be suicidal but I’ve never heard him sound so dead and empty. I wasn’t sure that he was going to let himself live.” Cried the man, completely unlike himself.

Kyoka who was already crying,started sobbing more. The majority of the room started sobbing with them, all except Ranpo.

His steady face, with no tears was not left unnoticed. Nobody wanted to ask though so he spoke first.

“Dazais my best friend. I love him so much that it hurts sometimes. I want him to be happy but the only way for Dazai to truly be happy is to be dead. So I’ll keep cutting down those nooses and saving him from drowning to make things a little better, to make it so when he finally does die he’ll be a bit more happy then he already was. because one day he’ll find that will to live, even if I won’t be there to see it.” Said Ranpo slowly as thought he were thinking on the spot. Though he wasn’t, he was finally getting the chance the say what had been on his mind for years.

Dazai would outlive him, he would outlive everyone. Dazai locked away his emotions but that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel, when the day came that the agency members all died and the akutagawas passed away it would destroy Dazai.

“Atleast he’ll have chuuya..” muttered Ranpo out loud to himself. He snapped back into reality and realized everyone was staring at him.

“What?

“We are all going home, it’s been an emotional day? Wouldn’t you agree.” Offered up kunikida in hopes of ending the conversation.The detectives took the bait and went their separate ways.

Ranpo went home and cried that day for the first time in ages, not that he’d tell anyone.

Chapter Text

Dazai went home and went to his room to get changed. He slowly took off the bandages and clothes before getting into the shower. The man sat in there for about an hour before actually getting out. When he got dressed he decided against putting bandages on again and just grabbed a random over sized t-shirt and chuuyas pajama pants. They were small on him but he couldn’t care less.

He went downstairs and laid down on the couch face down with a groan. He had considered flying to Russia to go to fyodors but changed his mind, not wanting Fyodor to see him like that.

He had wanted to be honest for once, but didn’t think about the consequences of lying for so long. He sat up and grabbed a pillow, clutching it tightly to make it feel like a hug.

He thought it would be a good idea at the time, but now it seemed like a huge mistake. There was no way to tell if the agency was mad at him or disappointed since he had ghosted them.

“I phoned him to say I was alive and Then hung up, I’m such an asshole!” Said Dazai to himself.

He laid back down, still clutching the pillow to his chest. The man found himself closing his eyes tightly, hoping to wake from the nightmare of his own creation.

He heard the door open but couldn’t bring himself to get up to check who it was. When they started getting closer he noticed the step pattern And recognized them immediately. Atsushi,Kyoka, and yosano.

He sat up quickly and grabbed the blanket sitting on the floor Infront of him, covering up his neck down. The trio walked into to dazais panic, but thankfully didn’t see his unbandaged arms.

“Hey Dazai... we just wanted to check in.” Said yosano slowly as though she were testing the water. Dazai looked over to them frantically making sure he was completely covered.

“Uh hey, I’m fine. You can go now.” Panicked Dazai. The trio looked offended at his reply. “Dazai, we came to see you, we are going to stay.” Snapped yosano rudely.

The women stomped over to Dazai and placed her hands on the blanket. The man yelled at her before she could lift it off him and she fell back onto the ground. He wrapped the blanket around himself not letting a single piece of skin leak out.

“Why are you trying to cover yourself? Are you naked or something?” Giggled atsushi, picturing his mentor naked. Dazai anxiously wrapped his arms around himself in a protective stance (under the blankets of course)

“I’m not wearing my bandages. I took them off since I’m alone. Can you please leave? I was told I didn’t have to go back to work till tomorrow.” Explained Dazai. The trio looked surprised to hear that his unbandaged arms were only a few feet away.

It was clear atsushi was tempted to grab the blanket but Kyoka grabbed his arm before the boy had the chance.

“I’m sorry!” Exclaimed Atsushi loudly while bowing at the man. Dazai looked over at yosano who also had an apologetic look in her eyes.

The woman’s eyes lingered on Dazai for a couple more seconds before turning to Kyoka. “Why don’t you stay with kouyou and me for a couple days? It can be like. A sleepover!” Suggested the doctor.

Kyoka lit up and agreed. Yosano asked Atsushi to walk her back to the car so she could have a moment alone with Dazai. Once the duo had left the penthouse she turned to the bundled up man.

“How are you holding up?”

Dazai looked over at her with a blank stare. “I’m tired yosano... I’m so fucking tired of everything.” Admitted to man quietly.

Yosanos mouth opened and closed, she was unsure of what to reply with. She just leaned over and paused. “Can I Hug you?” Asked yosano. He looked down at himself and gestured to his unbandaged arms. “I won’t look.” Said the woman softly while closing her eyes. She leaned in with her arms out, leaving it up to Dazai if he wanted to hug her.

The man ended up leaning in slowly after half a minutes of yosano awkwardly waiting. She wrapped her arms around him tightly. The doctor made sure to wrap her arms around his shirt so she didn’t make any contact with his skin.

“I understand, a lot has been happening recently.” Agreed the woman. The large t-shirt sat low on Dazai, so skin was showing. Sitting inside yosano was a doctor and friend, the doctor side of her took over and curiosity got the best of her. She peaked open her left eye to look at the small patch of skin showing. She gasped, it was littered in scars.

Dazai heard the gasp and tensed up in her arms. Yosano closed both eyes tightly but she knew it was too late, the damage was done.

“I’m sorry Dazai, it’s just I’m your doctor and I need to know these things.” Claimed the woman but both knew it was untrue. She just didn’t like being curious.

Dazai pulled back completely and yosano turned away shamefully.”so?” Asked the man. She looked back at him confused. “What?” Questioned yosano, not quite understanding what Dazai had meant. The man looked over at her, disappointed.

“so are you satisfied? The saying goes curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back. So. Are. You. Satisfied.”asked Dazai. His voice held no emotion, his posture was perfect and his port mafia eyes were staring into her soul.

“I’m sorry.” Repeated the woman, unsure of how she could fix the mess she created. As the silence between them went on, it was becoming more and more clear. She knew that Dazai had trust issues yet she went out of her way to break the trust she had finally created.

He slowly fixed his shirt and covered himself back up with the blanket, making sure to not let any skin slip again. With his blank face he turned to face her.

“Then let me ask you, if you’re not satisfied are you dissatisfied? Are you unhappy with the decision you made?” Wondered the man out loud. She didn’t answer to he tilted his head and leaned in closer.

“I am, I’m dissatisfied.” Admitted the woman. Dazais gaze deepened, his eyes went dark. “I am also unhappy with the decision I made, I never should’ve trusted you.” Snarled Dazai.

She was about you apologize again but the door opened. The two detectives looked at the door and chuuya walked in with a box. He had a huge smile on his face but paused when he saw the two of them.

“What did you do?” Yelled chuuya as he put the box down and ran over to Dazai. Yosano was suprised to say the least, to her Dazai looked normal, but chuuya saw through it.

Neither of them answered so chuuya turned to the woman. “Get the fuck out.” Said the man. Yosanos eyes widened but she didn’t move. “I said get the fuck out.” Yelled the man as he got up and grabbed her arm dragging her towards the door.

When they were almost out the door she turned her head and yelled back at Dazai another apology. Chuuya shoved her roughly out the door. When he came back Dazai was lying down on the couch.

“What happened?” Asked the redhead softly. Dazai explained everything about his day from the argument at the agency to his conversation with ango.

Chuuya apolgized for getting mad at him on the phone, since he wasn’t given context by Atsushi when he received the call about the car chase.He then explained what just happened with yosano and chuuya started fuming.

“She did what?? After you fucking trusted
Her? That bitch! I’m going to-“
“Leave it, it’s fine. I won’t let it happen again. This is why I don’t trust people, even the people who seem to care about you the most backstab you eventually.”

Chuuya hugged the taller man. “That’s not a very good outlook on life.” Whispered the redhead softly. Dazai chuckled as he leaned in. “I never had a good out look on life.”

The two men cuddled on the couch for hours. The Akutagawa siblings ended up not returning since atsushi had texted them so the pair had the apartment all to themselves.

After laying there for hours chuuya remembered the box. He got up quickly and grabbed it leaving A dazed and confused Dazai. The redhead walked over and laid down with his husband. He rubbed his hands on the taller man’s hair in an attempt to make him get up.

“Come on, I have a surprise.”

Dazai groaned but turned to face chuuya nonetheless. His eyes widened in shock and excitement at the sight Infront of him. It was his favourite cake from the bakery down the road from the agency. Chuuya walked out of the room and returned with a plate and two forks. He placed them down on the table before exiting the room once again. When he returned he had a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“Cake, roses... is it our anniversary?” Gasped Dazai while standing up abruptly. Chuuya chuckled and shook his head while cutting a slice of cake.

“No, I just love you.”
“I love you too.”

Chuuya leaned in to kiss Dazai but last minute the man turned to face the cake. “Kissing later? Cake now?” Suggested the brunet. Chuuya let out a loud cackle but agreed.

Chapter Text

Dazai woke up slowly, not wanting to get up. He was met with a surprise, chuuyas still sleeping body next to him. The clock said it was 5:45 which was 15 minutes before Chuuyas alarm was set to go off. He hadn’t meant to get up early but now he couldn’t fall back asleep.

Dazai laid awkwardly waiting for the alarm to go off so he could get up and move without worrying about waking up his husband.

*beep beep*

Chuuya turned and hit snooze before turning back to face Dazai. The redhead looked surprised to stare back into Dazai awake eyes.

“Why are you awake? It’s six am Dazai.” Asked chuuya quietly, still half asleep. Dazai shrugged. “I’m awake.”

Chuuya scoffed at dazais reply before getting up. He stretched out his back. “Yeah no shit”.

Dazai decided to get up to and he joined his husband in stretching. Chuuya looked over at him confused. “Come on Dazai, why are you getting up, you never stretch with me in the morning. You’re kind of freaking me out.”

Dazai frowned and jumped back into bed, refusing to answer. His husband took the hint and left. Chuuya had laid with him yesterday while he complained about everything so it wasn’t surprising that the red head had caught on.

He heard the door open and close, no matter how hard he tried to sleep he couldn’t. Within 10 minutes he could smell coffee. He jumped at the realization and ran downstairs. There was a fresh pot of coffee and a cute note. Well it wasn’t really cute but it didn’t have an insult so Dazai was still pleased.

He sat down at the table with his cup of coffee and grabbed his phone, his Lock Screen was drowning in notifications. He tried to scroll through them all but just thinking about them was giving him a headache. He replied to the ones from the akutagawas and kouyou but nobody else’s.

He felt guilty for causing a drift in the two women’s relationship. It seemed like kouyou was mad at yosano for peaking at his skin. She made the doctor sleep on the couch.

Dazai sighed at the thought. He didn’t want to think about it any more so he grabbed his coffee and headed to the living room to watch a random American tv show.

~~~ the agency later that day~~~

When Ranpo entered the room he knew something was off. He had expected everyone to act strange for a while with the whole Dazai thing going on but yosano was acting different then what he had pictured, and he was never wrong.

“What did you do?” Asked the super detective slowly, more asking himself then her. His eyes widened in shock when he made the connection.

“What the Fuck is wrong with you?” Yelled ranpo, causing a giant scene in the room. The woman’s face was guilt ridden. Ranpo stomped over to where she sat and grabbed her shirt tugging her up to stand.

His eyes were wide open, yosano noticed immediately but it came slowly to the rest of them. “He trusted you, I trusted you. He was suspicious about you from the start and I convinced him that you were good.” Murmured the man losing his grip on her shirt.

He stormed off in the direction of yosanos room, the agency followed out of confusion. Once they got there he asked a simple question. “Can I have one?”In reference to the glass bottle holding painkillers. Yosano nodded so Ranpo picked it up and smashed it on the ground.

Yosano flinched harshly but Ranpo didn’t stop there, he ran and grabbed anything glass in the room he saw and shattered it on the ground. After he had broken five things kunikida grabbed him to make him stop.

“What are you doing Ranpo, what’s going on with you two?” Asked kunikida angrily. Ranpo shoved kunikida off of him, which made the shorter man fall to the floor. The super detective ended up with glass in his hand but he didn’t care. Yosano tried to go near him to help fix the wound but he wouldn’t let her.

“I said I was doing one thing but then I did the opposite. I took it to far and ruined everything.” Replied Ranpo. To most of the detectives in that room the reply seemed strange, but to yosano the meaning behind his words was clear. She had said she wouldn’t look but ended up doing it anyways.

Blood was leaking out of his hand steadily, which was not going unnoticed by the room. Kunikida placed a hand on ranpos shoulder. “Listen, I know something is going on between you two right now but just let her help you.” Suggested the man.

Ranpo simply scoffed, he had zero interest in getting help from the woman who he once though of as a friend. Yosano was looking even more guilty than before. She hadn’t just lost Dazai during this, she lost Ranpo too, and things weren’t looking good for her and kouyou either.

Even so the woman got desperate to keep Atleast one of them. “ Ranpo I’ve lost Dazai, I’m pretty sure I’ve lost kouyou please don’t make me lose you too.”

He stood up slowly to stand eye to eye with her. “Yosano you messed up, this goes back so much further than you could ever imagine. The consequences of this are so much worse then you could even start to think of. But then again I guess you don’t care about Dazai anyways.” Snarked Ranpo.

The armed detectives agency members all stood awkwardly watching the whole arguement go down still without knowing what it was even about. All they knew was Ranpo was mad, madder than any of them had ever seen him. As the two continued arguing it was becoming more clear and clear to Atsushi what they were fighting about.

“She looked?” Cut in atsushi. Ranpo and yosano both turned to face the boy quickly. Their quick action was enough of an answer for him.

“How could you?” Yelled the boy angry that someone had looked at his mentors skin without consent (I never thought I’d type that sentance lmao). Yosano was not having it.

“You almost looked too! Kyoka had to stop you from doing it.” Snapped the doctor. Atsushis head dropped, he knew she was right. Kyoka suddenly realized what had happened too. She cut in to defend atsushi.

“You can’t be certain he would have, he was just tempted too! Atsushi would never do that to Dazai!” Claimed the girl angrily at yosano.

“Everyone shut up for one minute! What’s going on? What did yosano do to Dazai.” Scream kunikida, who was just too frustrated to sit and watch for even one more minute.

Nobody answered for a minute, the room just went dead silent. Kunikida repeated the question which caused atsushi to break the silence.

“Yosano looked under dazais bandages.”

Kunikida raised his left eyebrow, confused as to why Ranpo and atsushi were so angry about it. “Okay and?” Asked kunikida.Ranpo flipped out at that.

“Okay and? Okay and?! Dazai wears bandages for a reason. He trusted her not to peak and she did anyways. She betrayed his trust!” Yelled Ranpo. He was getting more and more pissed off as time went on.

Ranpo had thought kunikida would have been on his side, he thought kunikida would care about Dazai. But he was wrong, just like he was wrong about yosano. He wasn’t used to being wrong so everything was over whelming him.

He broke back down onto the ground, landing on some of the glass again but he couldn’t even bring himself to flinch at the pain. Ranpo had never had good pain tolerance but in his head he couldn’t even feel it, he couldn’t feel anything.

“Why don’t you just go home and cool off for the day?” Suggested kunikida. Yosano nodded along with the man as he made the suggestion.

“How can you be like that kunikida. Just yesterday you were crying about how upsetting it is that Dazai is so fucking suicidal. yet when Yosano completely invaded his privacy which probably sent him into an deep depression you dont care? You can’t be selective with when you want to play hero kunikida or someone’s gonna get hurt.” Said Ranpo. He stood up and started storming off towards the exit so he could go home. “I’m not playing hero, he’s my cowor—he’s my friend. I care about him.” Claimed kunikida.

He paused in the doorway. Ranpo couldn’t understand what kunikida had said, he didn’t understand why the actions and words didn’t reflect the same thoughts. It was almost like his super ultra deductive ability wasn’t working. Everyone in the room had disappointed him. He had placed too much faith in those he called co-workers.

“If you cared then you would’ve been on his side.” Argued Ranpo with a frown as he turned back into the room. Kunikda was supposed to be dazais partner, the bandaged man would surely be disappointed to find out about his partners reaction to the crisis.

“I care I just don’t see why it’s such a big deal. So what? He covers his skin to look mysterious and yosano figured out the scam. He’s just being a baby cause we found out there was nothing special behind the bandages” replied kunikida as he pulled out his notebook to write down the new information.

“Who said that?”

Ranpo and kunikida turned to face the new voice in the conversation. It was tanizaki. “Who said that there was nothing under the bandages? We’ve been listening the whole time and yosano never said that.” Pointed out the boy.

Kunikida at first just raised a brow at the boy, but then he started connecting dots. “Wait, did you know?” Whispered kunikida, who had just figured out what was causing ranpos anger.

“About the scars? I assumed, he’s port mafia. I’m his doctor I need to know these things.” Answered the woman. Kunikida who still held his pen snapped it in half and for once it wasn’t because of some joke Dazai made. It was out of sympathy for Dazai.

“That was not your decision to make.” Fumed kunikida. Ranpo was becoming happy that kunikida understood now. He couldn’t care less if everyone looked at him like a crazy person but it was Dazai they were talking about. He didn’t want them to say mean things about his closest friend.

“I told him I was sorry.” Stuttered the doctor, but that only infuriated kunikida more. He walked over to her so that he stood only one foot away. “You’re sorry? We aren’t in contact with Dazai. We don’t know the extent of what you’ve done. Until we figure out that Dazai is okay you need to leave.”

The woman’s jaw dropped but she did as she was told. Ranpo left not long after to go to dazais apartment to chat. He phoned first and decided to bring kunikida along with him.

The ride was awkward since kunikida hadn’t been to dazais before. He was super anxious at the invite. To say kunikida was surprised at the building he lived in would be and understatement.

They went up and Ranpo gave the security guard the code and put the key in. Once they were at the door Ranpo turned to kunikida. “I’m going to go in first to make sure he’s decent.” Explained Ranpo. Kunikida agreed that it was for the best.

Ranpo did as he said he would and entered the penthouse. He heard a scream from some movie on the tv. He strolled into the living room like he owned the place and looked over at Dazai.

Dazai was wearing two, maybe three layers of bandages. He could see the plain white ones, with a bit of a beigish one on top of it, and his Prada ones. Looking at the edges of them he could see it was a bit frayed at the ends, meaning Dazai had been itching it which implied self harm.

He sighed at the man and sat down next to him without saying a word. “What happened?” Asked Dazai. Ranpo didn’t answer. “Should I let kunikida in now?” Questioned Ranpo who didn’t want to explain to Dazai what happened with Yosano. Dazai nodded so Ranpo got up and got kunikida.

Kunikida was in aw, he thought it was magnificent. “I love your place Dazai, it’s beautiful.” Offered the man. Dazai smiled and thanked him.

“So what happened?” Repeated Dazai who truly didn’t want to be kept waiting. Ranpo explained up until kunikida joined, then kunikida explained the rest.

Dazai was silent for a moment. Yosano was still trying to cover for herself and make excuses. He thought she was better then that.

“So she revealed i had scars?” Asked the man, already knowing the answer. Ranpo nodded reluctantly. “Fuck... okay.” Whispered Dazai. He had thought she’d Atleast have the decency to keep it to herself.

“Are you okay? I understand that this must be very hard for you.” Said kunikida as he sat down awkwardly on the couch. He was so tense and his posture was perfect like a robot, he didn’t want to make any mistakes.

“Kunikida I’ll be honest. If it wasn’t for everything going on with the guild right now I would’ve left” Admitted Dazai. He didn’t like to be pitied and he had already been thinking about leaving after they found out he was port mafia the day before. The fact that yosano saw some of his scars and that she had told them made him just want to run away even more.

“Left? For how long?” Asked kunikida. Dazai looked over to make eye-contact but kunikida looked sad. He had never been good with dealing with sad people.

“I don’t know.” Lied Dazai. Ranpo knew he was lying, kunikida knew he was lying, everyone knew he was lying. Dazai would’ve left and never came back.

“I’d be sad if you left.” Claimed kunikida with a slightly raised voice. Dazai looked deep into the other mans eyes and saw what looked to be tears swelling up in them.

The bandaged man started cackling. “Oh my god are you crying?” Laughed Dazai. Kunikida jumped and tried to defend himself but a single year slipped out of his left eye. Dazai went silent for a minute before breaking back out into laughter, harder and louder than before.

“I knew you cared!” Exclaimed Dazai excitedly. Kunikida scoffed and hit the immortal man lightly. “Of course I do you shitty Dazai.” Replied the man in a soft voice.

“That’s kind of gay kunikida...” said Ranpo trying to hold in his laughter. It didn’t last long though because Ranpo and Dazai both started laughing. Kunikida tried to defend himself but the two men just kept making fun of him.

The three men ended up going to the kitchen and having a couple drinks together. When chuuya got home Dazai was sprawled out on the couch with Ranpo laying on top of him and kunikida was sleeping on the arm chair. He put blankets on all of them before saying one last thing to their sleeping bodies.

“It’s only 8 pm you animals.”

Chapter Text

Kunikida woke up with a slow start. He was awake for about ten minutes before he actually opened his eyes. The man had a horrible hangover, he had many lapses in memory.

He heard a giggle and whisper so he opened his eyes. Dazai, akutagwa, and gin were all standing right Infront of him giggling like small children. He sat up slowly confused but didn’t say anything.

“So how did you sleep kunikida?” Asked Dazai with a high pitched voice. The man shrugged off his weirdness, it wasn’t too far out of the ordinary.

“Good actually. This couch suprise got did wonders for my back...” admitted the man with a small smile. He surely wouldn’t be smiling if he had known what was on his face.

Kunikida stood up and bowed. “Thank you for letting me stay the night. I enjoyed last night with you and Ranpo.” Said the man while making his way towards the door.

“Why don’t you stay for breakfast? Ranpo is in the kitchen right now.” Offered up Dazai. Kunikida honestly wanted to go to work since he knew he was late but when he saw the look on dazias face he couldn’t say no.

“I’d love to.”

Dazai face lit up as he ran over to the kitchen. “Kunikida is staying for breakfast!” When kunikida walked into the room he started getting flashes of memory back from the night before.

Ranpo was wearing silk Pajamas. Kunikida then realized he was still wearing the clothes from the previous day. “Ranpo likes to pretend he’s a classy bitch when he comes over. He made me buy him silk pjs to wear.” Joked Dazai.

Ranpo laughed sarcastically and continued eating his pancakes. Kunikida took a seat next to him stiffly. “Can I get you coffee or water?” Asked Dazai, trying to be nice so that kunikida will want to come over again.

Kunikida was about to reply yes to coffee but he saw Ranpo with orange juice. “normally I’d say yes to coffee but I’m already so far off my plan and schedule for the day I might as well indulge a little. May I please have a glass of orange juice like Ranpo?” Replied the man.

Dazai looked surprised but gave it to him nonetheless. Kunikida was drinking his orange juice and watching Dazai make more pancakes for him when the Akutagawas walked in.

“We are leaving.” Announced gin while grabbing a water bottle off the counter. Dazai nodded simply. Ryuu went into the fridge and grabbed two paper bags with lunch’s in them. One labeled ryuu and the other labeled gin.

“Have a nice day!” Yelled Dazai as the two left the room. Kunikida pondered for a moment before asking about the bagged lunches. “Who makes their lunches?” Asked kunikida.

Dazai turned around to face him and smiled. “We take turns, though I will admit I don’t do it very often, it’s mostly chuuya. The only thing I can make is pancakes.” Answered the bandaged man.

“Why pancakes?”

Dazai looked a little caught off guard but he still answered. “they are very easy to make, chuuya used to make them for me on my bad days. I learned how to make them too so I could make them for the chibi. Not to say I didn’t give him super bad ones the first couple times but he appreciated the effort.” Laughed Dazai. Kunikida took the answer and nodded but Dazai kept talking.

“Back in the port mafia I developed somewhat of an eating disorder and I wasn’t eating a lot. Chuuya would make me pancakes every morning for breakfast since it was the only thing I’d eat. Other than canned crab of course.” Continued Dazai. Kunikida looked a little confused at the change in reply.

“I thought you said he made them for you on bad days?”

Dazai smiled while using the spatula to flip the pancakes onto a plate for kunikida. He handed the plate to the man. “Syrup?” Asked Dazai, kunikida shook his head since he liked them bland. Dazai shrugged and sat down on the counter. “With eating disorders practically every day is a battle. Not to mention my countless other mental health issues.” Said Dazai extremely flamboyantly.

Kunikida looked over at Ranpo confused as to why Dazai was sharing so much. “Don’t ask me, he doesn’t usually share so much.” Revealed Ranpo.

Dazai pouted. “I’m trying to be friendly Ranpo, friends don’t lie. Plus I’m visiting Fyodor later today, I have to get rid of some of those extra emotions I’m feeling.” Said Dazai. Ranpo nodded along with what Dazai was saying.

“Who is fyodor?” Asked kunikida, haven not heard the name before. Both men turned to face kunikida, they nodded at eachother making an unspoken agreement.

“An old friend of mine.” Replied Dazai. Kunikida wanted to take the answer but he couldn’t without asking one more question. “Why can’t you show emotions in front of him?” Questioned kunikida.

Dazai chuckled. “I can show emotions Infront of him, just not those of friendship. We have an odd type relationship, it’s sort of an ongoing battle of wits.” Kunikida didn’t and couldn’t understand what that meant, but he knew that he never would.

They sat in a comfortable silence until kunikida was done eating. “So are you coming into work today? It’s already 10:30 so there isn’t too much of the day left anyways.” Said kunikida hoping that the man would say yes.

Dazai shook his head. “No I’m leaving at 11 for Russia. I’ll be probably be back by tomorow, Thursday at the latest.” Answered Dazai. Kunikida gasped. “But the guild is going to come for you, they almost shot you the day before yesterday.” Panicked kunikida. Of course he didn’t know Dazai had actually been shot but he didn’t have the heart to tell him.

“He’ll be fine kunikida, where he’s going the security is impenetrable. Plus I can guarantee you the guild won’t be attacked us for Atleast another week and a half, their strategizer is still strategizing, thanks to my amazing ability that is.” Said Ranpo. Kunikida thankfully trusted what the man said and left.

After they were both certain kunikida was gone. “So you think that he believed what you said about the guild?” Asked Dazai with a smirk. Ranpo nodded wisely. “Of course he does, he tends to believe anything you or me say. Plus with what we have planned for the guild it doesn’t matter when they’ll finish their strategy since we are making the first move.” Smiled Ranpo. Dazai simply agreed and took a long sip of his coffee.

“I guess we will just have to see what happens then.”

~~~~~~

Kunikida walked into the building with a yawn, unsurprisingly yosano wasn’t there, but surprisingly Ranpo was. “Wait how did you get here first?? I left Earlier then you did?” Yelled kunikida in a confused frusturation. Ranpo dramatically laid back with his lollipop. He used it as a microphone and sang the words “that’s a secret I’ll never tell.”

Atsushi chuckled but kunikida just raised an eyebrow. Neither of them said anything more. “So where were you this morning? It’s not too far out of the ordinary for Ranpo to be late but it’s strange for you to be.” Asked tanizaki.

Kunikida sat down with a grumble. “Ranpo and I went to dazias last night, we ended up staying late for drinks. I slept in and stayed for breakfast. I stopped back at the dorms before I came here and got changed. It took me a bit longer than usual since somebody thought it would be funny to draw all over my face.” Replied kunikida tiredly.

The tanizaki siblings just giggled at the mans clear frusturation. “Where is Dazai? I thought he was coming in today? Yosano isn’t here.” Said atsushi.

Kunikida took out his notebook so he could write down the new information as he spoke. “Dazai is visiting a friend in Russia until Thursday. He will be back in the office by Friday at the latest.” Replied kunikida. Atsushi nodded and went back to his paperwork.

Everyone continued on with their day like everything was normal, but everything was far from it.

Chapter Text

When dazais plane landed he let out a sigh of relief, he thought the ride would never end. He hadn’t told Fyodor he was coming but he presumed that the man wouldn’t be surprised to see him. After exiting the airport he hailed a taxi to take him to fyodor’s residence. He had gone only a week prior due to the guild so it hadn’t been to long since they had seen eachother.

The taxi driver tried to make light conversation but Dazai wasn’t too interested In it. “What business brings you to Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s manor?” Asked the man. Dazai froze at a realization, he hadn’t said a name. “I’m fairly certain I have you an address, not a name.”

The taxi driver chucked but kept driving towards their destination. “An old friend of mine did business with him once. I heard he’s quite the fellow.” Admitted the driver. Dazai let himself breath in relief.

“You seem like a nice man, that’s all. I thought I should warn you if you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into.”

Dazai laughed at the proclamation. As they pulled closer to the property Dazai asked him to pull over. “ it’s a little cold to be walking don’t you think?” Asked the concerned driver. But Dazai simply shrugged and got out of the car. “I’m sure I’ll be fine, it’s only a 15 minutes walk.”

The taxi driver made a concerned face but got back in the car. He rolled down his window and Dazai paid him cash. “Don’t you go worrying about me, I’m an old friend of fedyas.” Finished Dazai before walking away.

There was a couple inches of snow but nothing he couldn’t handle. As he got closer, through the trees he saw a gate. There was two gunned men standing by it. He continued walking while reaching in his pocket for his ID.

Dazai showed it to the two men, whom pulled out a radio to confirm his identity. It took another minute of standing in the cold for them to let him through. He walked the final 5 minute walk
To his house. The door was already open so he strolled on in.

First he went to his room and put all of his stuff down. Then he went to fedyas study and sat down on the chair. Fyodor didn’t move a muscle and kept on writing. Dazai knew he was planning out something to find the book but he couldn’t bring himself to care for the time being.

“I wasn’t expecting company.” Claimed Fyodor, but Dazai just laughed. “Oh I’m sure you weren’t.” Replied the bandaged man with ease. Fyodor closed the book and turned around.

“Everything is going well with the guild, so what’s wrong?” Asked Fyodor. Dazai looked a little suprised that Fyodor hadn’t already deducted what was wrong.

“The most horrid thing, I’m upset.” Admitted Dazai dramatically while laying back on the chair. Fyodor stood up and sat on the chair opposite of him.

“About what? I can’t think of any of your current predicaments leaving you upset.” Replied Fyodor. Dazai chuckled and took his jacket off. He threw it onto the ground. Fyodor leaned over to pick it up and glared at the bandaged man for making a mess.

Once the jacket was in his hands though he made the connection. It had something to do with dazais bandages. He hadn’t been making a mess, he had been giving him a hint.

“So something happened with your bandages.” Asked Fyodor, though he knew he was right. Dazai nodded and groaned. “It didn’t start like that, it started with an argument about the port mafia.” Whispered Dazai as he remembered everything that had happened.

Dazai stayed silent for a moment but Fyodor smacked his leg. “Come on, tell me what happened.” Snapped the Russian. Dazai giggled and hugged the older man. “Is my fedya expressing emotions? Like a normal human being? I knew you cared about me.” Joked Dazai.

Fyodor smacked his leg again but Dazai just laughed even harder. After he got the giggles out of his system he went back to being blank faced. “Can you make me pancakes, I’m hungry.” Asked Fyodor.

“Oh Ho Ho, are you asking a guest to make food?” Gasped Dazai. Fyodor simply stood up and started walking to the kitchen, Dazai who didn’t want to be left behind trailed on after the man.

Once they were in the kitchen Fyodor grabbed plates and placed them down on the kitchen table before sitting down. Dazai got to work. “You know, I had pancakes this morning for breakfast.” Said Dazai making light conversation.

“Yes, that’s what made me think of them. It’s been years since I’ve had any.” Said Fyodor. The Russian man got up and poured the two of them each a glass of water to go with their afternoon snack.

“Awww that’s sweet! You don’t eat them because I don’t make them? Oh Fyodor you’d make a girl blush.” Said Dazai increasingly high pitched as the sentence went on. Even if the two immortal men weren’t making eye contact Dazai knew for sure that Fyodor had just rolled his eyes, and Fyodor knew Dazai was smirking.

“I presume it’s the same as you not listening to the cello if it’s not me playing.” Countered Fyodor. Dazai knew he was right so he couldn’t reply.

When Dazai finished the pancakes he put them on the plates, three for fyodor. Fyodor made notice of the amount of pancakes they were each eating. He had always eaten three but Dazai usually only ate one.

“I see you’re improving then? That’s good.” Said fyodor while shoveling the pancakes into his mouth. He made a soft noise of happiness, one unlike the leader of the rats.

“Yes, we’ve been working hard.” Replied dazai, referencing to chuuya helping him get better. “That’s good. Now can you please just get on with what you have to say. You know I’m not a very patient man.” Smiled fyodor bravely.

Dazai placed his fork down on the table. “It’s a really long story.” Started Dazai, not wanting to be a bother, Fyodor simply made a face in reply that said ‘really’.

“After what haponed with the guild I presume you went home?” Asked Dazai, confirming what he had already suspected. The Russian nodded.

“Kunikida confronted me about being able to tell that everything went down exactly like I thought it would, he felt it was too far out of my expertise. One thing lead to another and I revealed my port mafia past. He held me at gun point for a moment there, not that he could’ve killed me it just hurt, you know.” Cried Dazai. He hadn’t thought he was going to cry but the waterworks couldn’t stop spewing out of his eyes. Fyodor didn’t know what to do about crying so he just gestured for the man to continue.

Dazai leaned his head down onto the table. “I told them I wasn’t there by choice, and they all apologized and said they still loved me. I asked for the day off and went home. But once I got home yosano, atsushi, and Kyoka came by to see how I was doing. I didn’t have my bandages on so I covered myself with a blanket.The kids only stayed for a couple minutes, but Yosano stayed after. She gave me a hug and promised she wouldn’t look. At the last second before our hug ended she peaked. And she saw them. she told the agency.” Said Dazai who was beginning to regain self control over his emotions.

Fyodor put an arm around his immortal friend and pulled him in close. “I’m sorry that happened, I’m sure Yosano didn’t have a mean intent behind it.” Claimed fyodor, but he wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince Dazai or himself.

The Russian man had never been one to show or feel most emotions, but he found that when it involved his close friends he was more capable. Hearing those things that happened to Dazai made him feel something that he hadn’t felt in a while, empathy.

“Fyodor it’s okay, I know reassuring people isn’t exactly your strong point, I just wanted to tell you. You’ve always Had a knack for making me feel better.” Whispered Dazai into the other mans ears. Fyodor hugged Dazai even tighter. The man didn’t reply though.

“Anyways Ranpo told me what happened, apparently they had a huge fight in the agency that ended with kunikida kicking her out, and telling her not to return until they knew if I was okay.” Chuckled Dazai at the thought of getting defended. He felt good knowing that they cared about him.

“ that’s good, would you like to hear me play the cello?” Asked fyodor in an attempt to change the topic now that the conversation was coming towards and end. Dazai laughed at the sudden topic changed but nodded none the less. They walked towards the study again and Dazai sat down in the first chair he saw.

“Why don’t you play the piano? We could do a most beautiful duet?” Asked fyodor. Even though Dazai had a piano, he didn’t tend to play because there were too many sad emotions attached to it. It reminded him of his time in the port mafia and of odasaku. Simply it hurt too much to play.

“I can’t play anymore.” Muttered Dazai. Fyodor had been going through the actions of preparing himself to start playing but he stopped at dazais statement. “Surely you couldn’t have forgotten how to play? It hasn’t been that long has it?” Asked Fyodor rudely.

Dazai sputtered trying to reply but realized Fyodor was just messing with him. “Haha, very funny.” Said Dazai with a humourless voice.

Fyodor pondered on the idea of asking Dazai again to play with him but he decided against it. The Russian man ended up deciding to play the cello on his own. he loved playing Infront of Dazai. Dazai was one of the few people who truly appreciated and loved his music.

After only 1 hour of playing Dazai was sound asleep though. He kept playing but it made him content to know that the other man had been sleeping. After all, Dazai wasn’t exactly known for his healthy sleep schedule.

Fyodor quit playing for a moment and say up to grab a blanket for Dazai. When he returned Dazai was completely sprawled out on the couch. Fyodor chuckled quietly and put the blanket on the other man slowly so that he wouldn’t wake up.

As Fyodor sat back down in his chair to keep playing, all that was on his mind was how his search for the book would affect Dazai. He was in an internal conflict of what was more important, a world without abilities or his friend.

In his head though, they seemed to be the same. Since the mean reason he was so depressed was because of his ability given immortality. He decided to shrug the thought off and think about it later. As he started playing again he felt himself drifting off. After another hour of playing he decided to put the cello down and let himself sleep for a bit too.

Once he dozed off his dreams were full of images of Dazai dying again. When it originally happened he had reacted okay, but now that he had emotionally evolved there was no telling how he would react.

The two men slept all through the night (even though it had only been around 5pm at the time). The first to wake up had been Dazai. So it had definitely been a shock for Fyodor when he finally woke up to hear piano playing in the other room.

~~~~

Fyodor got up slowly, not wanting to alarm Dazai. His attempts were futile since he heard Dazai falter on one of the keys, which was completely unlike the man. Since his presence was now known he decided to walk into the room to hear the music better.

Dazai was playing the theme of howls moving castle. It had been the akutagwas favourite movie when they were younger. Anytime they were upset or sick Dazai would put it on for them. It somehow seemed different from how Dazai used to play it, the music was letting of emotions all throughout the house.

He stood leaning on the door way, waiting for the song the end. He had hoped that it wouldn’t end, there was nothing better than dazais playing. Even if 100 people had played it at once he would be able to differentiate Dazai from the rest. In fyodors eyes, nobody could even compare to the bandaged man.

The song came to an end and Dazai stood up with a smile and turned around. “Good morning.” Fyodor returned the smile awkwardly. Dazai picked up his mug and walked past the Russian. While he was passing fyodor the man looked over into the mug to see what he was drinking.

It was dazais self proclaimed world famous hot chocolate. Fyodor would be a fool to not want some so when Dazai offered to make him a mug he said yes. Once it was done the duo went outside.

Neither of the men mentioned how Dazai played the piano that morning and neither of them mentioned the fight that would come with fyodor finding the book. At that moment in time they were just two men enjoying each others company.

Chapter Text

When Dazai got back home that Thursday he was exhausted. Him and fyodor had gone to some secret poker game the night before. He wasn’t looking forward to work the following day but was happy to be home, he hated to be away from chuuya.

“Chhhhuuuuyyyyyaaaaaaa.” Whined Dazai as he entered their bedroom. Chuuya was laying in bed reading a book. The red head simply rolled his eyes. “Did you have fun?” Asked chuuya with a small smile.

“Yep! I feel so much better. I’m looking forward to work tomorrow.” Admitted Dazai cheerfully. But the happiness what short lived because chuuya made a guilty face.

“Ranpo phoned... yosano is coming into to office tomorrow. Kunikida said she could come back.” Whispered chuuya, Dazai faltered but smiled again.

“It’s okay, she would’ve had to come back anyways. I don’t care.” Claimed Dazai fiercefully, but chuuya saw right through it. The smaller mad hugged his lanky husband in an attempt to be reassuring. Dazai appreciated it and took his shoes off before climbing in bed with his husband.

The two drifted off to sleep, letting themselves be at peace before all the chaos that was to come.

~~~~

When Dazai woke up he knew it wasn’t going to be a good day. No matter how tough he was, he knew that it would be hard to get through it.

He turned to the clock, it read “9:12” which in his opinion was the perfect time to get ready to go. Slowly but surely he rolled out of bed and took a nice long hot shower.

He took his sweet time getting dressed, really dreading the conversation that was to come. It was probable that yosano would argue with him again.

Dazai took one last check at his clock before leaving the apartment. He took his sweet time getting to the agency. Once he was finally there he ran into Ranpo exiting the building.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, you know what’s to come?” Asked Ranpo. Both men had a pretty good idea of the conversation that was about to be held. Dazai didn’t reply but kept walking towards the building.

Each step he took gave him a feeling he was unfamiliar with, anxiety. He hadn’t felt like that in a while. Once he got to the last step before the door he paused. He could feel himself starting to sweat, so while taking a deep breath he entered the room.

Everyone turned to look at him, leaving him feeling uncomfortable. He gave an awkward smile and greeting which they all returned.

Right when he finally got settled back into his desk the door opened. He didn’t look up but he could tell from the clatter of her heals who it was. It was yosano.

The woman didn’t say anything but stopped Infront of his desk. He could feel the eyes of everyone in the room looking at him so he slowly lifted his gaze. She was standing in a strange stance with her left eyebrow raised.

“I’m sorry?” Said Dazai awkwardly not knowing what to say. The women went pale as she started to stutter. “You don’t need to apologize!! I should be the one apologizing. I took it too far.” Said the woman while bowing.

Dazai smiled softly. Those words confirmed what he and Ranpo had thought was going to happen. Those words were the set off for a chain reaction of events that would leave the agency wounded in the middle of the war. Those words were what guaranteed the defeat of the guild. Those words were what killed his friend.

“Not every battle you win will you actually be the victor.” Said Dazai while making eye contact. The woman looked confused which was well warranted. “I know, I don’t see that situation as win. It was a slip of judgement.” Replied yosano. The doctor turned to walk the other way as to avoid the conversation. Just when she was nearing the door Dazai spoke again.

“You remind me of him.”

Yosano completely froze. She turned around slowly with an angry look on her face. “Don’t compare me to him.” Growled the woman savagely. Dazai smiled softly, not with any cruel intent, but the smile of someone who was tired.

The agency members seemed confused, but it was clear a couple of them had caught on. “You don’t see it?” Asked Dazai. Referencing to all the information laid out Infront of them. She shook her head without even giving it a second thought.

“Okay...” whispered Dazai. The woman looked at him, waiting for an apology. He didn’t apologize, but just confined to make eye contact with her. Out of the corner of his eyes atsushi was seemingly panicking.

“I’m sorry that You weren’t saved sooner.” Said Dazai while standing up. He stretched his arms out Infront of him since he had been feeling tense.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Dazai turned his full attention back to her. “Maybe then you wouldn’t have picked up some of his traits.” Yosano walked up to him and slapped him right across the face. A red mark was left in its trail. Dazai didn’t flinch, he didn’t even make a peep. He just looked disappointed.

“And you think you haven’t picked up any have his traits either? You’re basically a ducking reflection of him.” Screamed the woman right back at him.

Dazai looked unbothered by the woman’s declaration. He knew she was right. He always had, so hearing her yell it didn’t make him upset.

“At least I’m self aware.” Snarked Dazai. He had planned on making this conversation friendly but it as seeming more and more less likely.

Yosano crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. With a chuckle she said the words that would shake the agency to its core.

“That’s rich coming from you mr. demon prodigy.”

Chapter Text

“That’s rich coming from you mr.demon prodigy.”

The entire room froze. It wasn’t the words any of them had expected to hear. Dazai closed his eyes tightly and just sat down in the middle of the office. He didn’t fight it, he didn’t try to run from it. He accepted it.

The woman’s face went pale like the presidents hair. She quickly walked over to Dazai and placed a hand on his shoulder. He flinched away, still keeping his eyes tightly shut.

“I’m- I’m sorry Dazai, I took that too far.”

The bandaged man smiled. It’s what he was known for right? His flirting, his schemes, his funny personality. So what else could he do but play the part he forced himself into.

“It’s okay. I knew this was going to happen. Anything I never want to lose is always lost. It’s just... you know what’s funny?” Laughed Dazai manically while putting his head down on his legs. No one said anything but Dazai continued anyways. “You were one of my closest friends. I actually trusted you, More than I trust most people. I was ready to be someone again, I was ready to become someone again.”

Yosano started crying quietly, not that dazai noticed. His finger nails punctured the skin on his neck from how tight his grip was. “I love you- I loved you like a sister. You always used to tell me that you didn’t care what my background was, you didn’t care what was under my bandages. As long as I was myself with you, the rest of it would all just fade away.”

Dazais words stabbed her in the heart. It was a clear moment. She finally realized how wrong she was, and the things she’d have to face. His arms fell to his sides as he looked up at her. There were no tears in his eyes, there simply weren’t any left to cry. He genuinely felt like he had lost his sister.

“I know I lie, and manipulate people, but I don’t think I deserved this. Is this because I didn’t tell you I was in the port mafia too? Or is it cause I hurt you without knowing? Is it about kouyou? What did I do to deserve this. I need to know.” He said getting louder with every word. He wasn’t angry though, that was clear, he was just loud. “I’ve told you things no one else knows. I’ve told you about fucking odasaku, about my kids, about what mori did to me, about everything. I just don’t understand why you would do any of this to me.” Yosano, the woman who was always chatty when it came to Dazai, was dead silent.

“You knew the importance of my bandages, and that I didn’t want them to know about me being the demon prodigy. And yet you told everyone anyways, there are things about you I know, and I never once thought about telling them about for even a second. I guess that’s part of being human though, betraying people. Maybe I was wrong in wanting to be human. It’s disappointing. So truly disappointing.” Hesitated Dazai. He was tired, so very tired.

“Dazai... I don’t know what to say. I don’t expect you to forgive me for this. I know I wouldn’t. I can leave the agency if you want, I can work somewhere else.” Sobbed the woman while clenching her fists at her side. There was a clear black smudge under her eyes, showing that she had been wearing makeup. Her whole body was shaking like an earthquake.

Dazai turned to face her slowly, his face was void of emotion. His eyes held no passion, no sadness, no despair. Nothing. Dead, like a mackerel. Yosano had been told of dazais dead eyes, and how he had them in the mafia. To know that she caused them was heart wrenching.

“You didn’t do anything to deserve this Dazai. I’m sorry I let my need to be right take over our friendship. I should’ve been a better friend. I should’ve been someone you deserved.” Said yosano, finally revealing her true thoughts.

The detectives in the room sat still, unsure of what they could say to possible reassure Dazai. None of them had known of his life as the demon prodigy, and finding out that it had been their carefree coworker could be such a man.

The stories they heard were horrible, knowing that he could commit such acts forced or not was terrifying. Atsushi was the first to speak. “Dazai, I promise you it doesn’t matter to me. You were 9 when you got kidnapped. You were raised and forced into it. You’re a good man. I know you are.” Claimed atsushi fiercely. He knew who Dazai was. He was the man who saved him. The man who saved his boyfriend. The man who saved people.

Kunikida went next, which surprised the majority of the people in the room considering the mans strong ideals. “It’s been six years. You aren’t that person anymore. You’re my partner Dazai. Even if we don’t alway get along I know the kind of person you are. Please don’t forget that.” His words pierced through the room. It gave everyone else the final push to actually say something.

“Dazai we love you so much.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t get to tell us on your own terms.”

“You’re a great man, and an even better detective.”

“I’m proud of you for being strong for so long.”

At the end Dazai was left a crying mess. Those were his friends. Those were the people who always looked out for him. Yosano was not.

The man put his Arm out Infront of him as though he were blocking out the sun. But there was no sun, it was just ceiling. He spread out his fingers so that he could see through the gaps. He stared for about a minute before speaking.

“Have you ever been to Norway?”

Yosano was caught completely off guard. “No, I haven’t.” Answered the woman. He finally turned his head towards her, leaving his arm still in the air.

“There’s lights there, aurora. It’s absolutely stunning. Purple, blue, and pink. So colourful. I want to see them again. I want to feel like that again.” Said Dazai slowly. No one understood the true meaning behind his words. To them it seemed like a random thought, but to Dazai and those who know of his immortality it was an entirely different thing.

It was a code. Whenever Dazai was feeling especially suicidal he’d usually bring something up about Norway, hunting, or northern lights, not that he noticed he did it. Only Ranpo and the immortals did, and none of them were there to decipher the message.

“But I can’t. Not without paying a price. A price that I can’t afford.” Whispered Dazai. Atsushi walked over to Dazai and leaned over Infront of him. “You and chuuya are both rich, surely you can afford to go to Norway?” Asked the boy in complete and utter confusion.

“It’s not that kind of price atsushi... its nothing you need to worry about though.”

The price of course was chuuyas life. For Dazai to die, chuuya needed to die first. He wasn’t willing to make that sacrifice and decision for both of them, no matter how tired he was.

“It felt like an icy blue breeze.” Said Dazai, referring to when he got his soul jump started by Chuuya. Kunikida walked over, inching towards Dazai.

“Yes, I can imagine Norway in the winter is very cold.” Agreed kunikida. The idealistic man was full of internal conflict. He didn’t know what to do. Dazai was seemingly off the rocker, and everyone else was crying. At that moment all he truly wanted was for ranpo to come back from wherever he had gone.

And he did.

The door opened with a loud squeak and everyone turned to face it. Dazai even put his arm back down from its strange towards stance. The super detective walked over to Dazai and dropped something In front of him.

That little something made all the difference to Dazai, and he burst out into laughter.

Chapter Text

that little something made all the difference to dazai, and he burst out into laughter. the thing ranpo had dropped infront of him wasn’t just anything. it was special.
 
It was something the two men constantly joked about no matter where they were in life. it was one of dazais favourite things about the relationship they had.
 
It was a gift bag. without even opening it he knew what it would be. Of course no one else did. The rest of the detectvies looked super confused as to what could have possible made their co-worker react like that during such a serious moment.
 
“I just came from your house.” said Ranpo. the implication was clear. dazai decided to open the bag knowing damn well that it had nothing to do with his house.
 
he reached his hand into the bag and the other people in the room held their breath. dazai pulled out a LARGE bag of gummy bears. and not just any old gummy bears, they were pineapple ones.
 
dazai looked up to ranpo and smiled at the gesture. he was about to thank the man when ranpo gestured for him to check the bottom of the bag.
 
resting at the bottom was a wooden square... definitely not what he had been expecting. he picked it up and flipped it over.
 
it was a prayer tablet. the bandaged man found himself laughing once again. He read the words and felt a tug at his heart.
 
kunikida leaned over to try and peak at what it said but he couldn’t dare let anyone else see. It was for his eyes and his eyes only.
 
Ranpo always left dazai offerings as a joke about him being a godtier ability user, but that was no where near as heart felt as the piece of wood infront of him.
 
He tucked it into his front pocket with a smile before opening the bag of candy. everyone in the room was even more confused then they were before. Especially Yosano.
 
She was unsure of what ranpos sudden appearance might mean for them and their current predicament. She walked slowly over to the pair. Once she was only a foot away she started speaking
 
“are you okay?”
 
the two men made eye contact with eachother one last time before dazai answered.
 
“No.”
 
yosanos eyes widened at the mans honesty, which wasn’t to say she didn’t want him to be. she did, she truly did.
 
“but i dont blame you for it. we can still be co-workers. i swear i wont let our break up affect my work.” said the man. even though he was speaking to yosano, he was facing kunikida.
 
kunikida nodded in reply, understanding what he meant. The taller man lifted his arm and gestured to the door. Dazai raised a brow before exiting the room.
 
Ranpo trailed behind him a moment later and revealed that an arguement was going down in there. dazai had deducted that that was a huge possibility but he had hoped that it wasnt.
 
“you don’t have to fight every battle on your own anymore dazai, you’re not alone anymore.” whispered ranpo like it were some dirty secret. Still, that signature smile of his rested on his face.
 
dazai didn’t reply, but it was clear from his facial expression how much the words meant to him. Not only did a small smile curve in the corner of his mouth, but his eyes lit up. They were no longer the eyes of a mackeral, but they were the eyes of someone with hope.
 
dazai had hope again.
 
if ranpo could have it his way, he’d make sure that look never left his face. But of course, that was just wishful thinking.

Moments later kunikida walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him. He smacked his forehead against the door and sighed heavily. When he noticed that he wasn’t alone his eyes widened.

“Im sorry I assumed you both left!” Started kunikida but Dazai started laughing. It wasn’t the fake laugh from before. It was genuine.

In that moment everything was clear. Dazai started laughing so hard that he had to clutch his stomach in pain. It wasn’t even that funny but he just couldn’t stop. Ranpo started laughing too because he always found dazais laugh to be contagious.

Kunikida even smiled a bit.... before breaking out in laughter when dazai snorted. The three men laughed for a couple seconds before the door opened wildly and hit kunikida.

It made them all laugh harder like a bunch of drunk dudes. Kyoka was standing in the door way with a completely blank look. She turned back into the room while closing the door again, but Dazai didn’t miss the small smile on her face.

Dazais laughing stopped all together. The other two men doing so as well. “Would you guys like to go out for a drink?” Asked Dazai.

Kunikida gasped like he had seen someone hit a pregnant woman. “It’s 10am! That’s not good for your health!” Yelled kunikida but once he saw Dazais face he agreed. Dazai may not know it, but he had his own version of puppy eyes, except a little more violent.

Kunikida and Ranpo followed Dazai through all sorts of random turns to reach a bar. The bar happened to be in port mafia territory not that any of them cared anymore.

The walk took quite a while but once they were there it all seemed worth it...to Dazai. Kunikida thought it looked like a totally dump.

The sign on the bar had an unmistakable man wearing a top hat on it. The bottom of the sign read ‘lupin’. The trio walked in and sat at the bar.

Kunikida sat on the left, Ranpo sat on the right, and Dazai in the middle. The bartender walked up and asked “the usual?”. Dazai nodded and held up three fingers.

The bartender nodded and turned to make the drink. Dazai sighed heavily while placing his face in his arms. It had been 6, going on 7 years since he had last sat and had a drink with ango and odasaku.

Dazai started to think while they waited. He had always thought he was alone, but he never Was. He always thought no one cared but they did. Ranpo did. Kunikida did. Even ango cared. Odasaku used to care. He hadn’t realized that until kunikida kicked him out of the office so he could fight on his behalf.

Though he was starting to move on from odasakus death, he knew what he needed to do to completely leave it behind him. He’d never forget oda, or the friendship they had but he knew he couldn’t hold on forever. So when the bartender brought their drinks he decided.

“What should we toast to?” Asked kunikida. Dazai pondered for a minute before replying.

“To the stray dogs.”

Kunikida looked confused but Went along with it anyways. The three adults glasses clinked against eachother as they all said those words in unison. “To the stray dogs!”

They sat in silence for the most part after that. In a strange way, Dazai felt relieved that they had roasted. He felt a cloud of acceptance in him. Odasaku was dead, but not gone.

He’d always live in his heart, but it was time to move on. Dazai smiled softly gaining the attention of ranpo. The super detective didn’t say anything but he was secretly happy for the man.

Chapter Text

When Dazai woke up his head was aching harder then it ever had before. He had never been one to get a hangover but the pounding in his brain was undeniable. A loud groan was heard from next to him so he opened his eyes.

Kunikida was draped over the agency couch, Ranpo was in a ball on the table, and dazai himself was wrapped around the plant in the corner.

“What the fuck happened last night?” Groaned kunikida. The man looked like a complete and utter mess. Dazai couldn’t hold in the laugh that left his lips at the sight. A pink with black spots dress was on the man. Kunikida said he’d never dress up as a woman yet here he was, completely dolled up.

Ranpo woke up at the noise and started laughing too, that is until he saw Dazai... then he was cackling like a witch. “Oh my god Dazai, you- you-“ wheezed the man.

Dazai untangled himself from the plant. “What’s wrong?” Asked Dazai concerned. He grabbed at his face trying to feel if anything was off, but it would appear that it wasn’t his face. His attention was brought to his outfit.

A dress.

He started laughing too, making his head hurt more. He looked over at Ranpo and realized that he was wearing a dress too, it looked like something a grandma would wear.

None of them remembered the night before. It was like there was a blank spot in their memory. He was trying to think when Ranpo chucked of sunglasses right at his face.

He was about to ask what was up but then Ranpo made a gesture at his eyes. He threw the sunglasses on as fast as possible. He must’ve taken his contacts out at some point the previous night.

“Where the fuck am I?” Asked a voice from behind the couch. A certain red haired man stood up slowly, and stumbled onto the side of the couch. When he made eye contact with Dazai he looked down at his own attire. “Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Dazai laughed and stood up. “I bet you got the most numbers babe, you look gorgeous.” Said the man. He assumed that was the reason they were all wearing dresses. The ‘who can get the most numbers from gross men’ game.

Chuuya took the compliment and checked his watch. It was 9:57. “Where is everyone?”

The question answered itself when ango crawled out from under the table wearing the most ruffled purple dress ever. “They went out to buy me Tylenol and sunglasses, they are also getting us coffee and breakfast.”

Kunikida seemed absolutely horrified that ango had seen him in his current state. He tried to cover himself bit it was no use. “I can’t believe you finally convinced me to wear a dress for one of those stupid games.” Muttered ango disappointed in himself.

“Does anyone remember last night?” Asked chuuya. Ango nodded. Apparently he was the only one who did. He filled everyone in and to say it was bad would be generous.

They had stolen a port mafia car, ‘kidnapped chuuya’ from an important meeting, picked up ango from his house, gone to some expensive women’s shop and bought a shit ton of dresses, went bar hopping for numbers, got into a bar fight with a bunch of men who got handsy with ango, phoned the mans job to snitch so he’d get fired, then landed back at the agency to drink more.

It was a mess.

But atleast there was no video evidence of the night. That was something Dazai could live with. Plus there was no proof that it even happened. Ango could’ve been lying.

(They all knew he wasn’t, everything was on brand for them)

Dazai pulled his phone out and saw a couple missed calls from atsushi. There was also missed messages. He opened up the chat and was met with photos of them all dancing and partying in the office.

Atsushi:
*Image*
*Image*
*image*
*image*
*image*
*video*
*video*
*video*
This you?

No one ever survives the ‘this you’. Dazai turned his phone off and simply gave up. There would be no winning.

The door to the agency swung open and he saw people entering. They brought in drinks and food. Atsushi walked up to him and handed him stuff. “I sent those pictures to everyone. I’m sorry Dazai!” Yelled the boy while bowing.

He wasn’t surprised. It was his protege. He learned from him. “I’m never getting that drunk again.” Claimed kunikida. The rest of the hungover men agreed.

Of course that would become a lie only two weeks later.

“So who won?” Asked atsushi in reference to the numbers game. “You guys mentioned it last night but I couldn’t hear who won without giving away my position.”

Everyone looked to ango for the answer. He sighed before pointing to Dazai.

“FUCK YEAH!”

Chapter Text

Hi everyone! This isn’t a chapter but there’s a few things I needed to tell y’all.

I changed my username because I thought Dazai brosamu was kind of funny.

Since I’m getting closer to finishing the fic i thought it might be nice to start editing some of the chapters since let’s be honest, they could use some work. No plot or anything will be changed, just grammar and spelling corrections etc so don’t worry about anything getting confusing.

I have a lot of free time right now so I hope to be done editing by midway through March and then I’ll get back on track with posting.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read this fic and stuck with it these past couple months even with my slow posting schedule. I hope you all have an amazing day or night wherever you may be!

Chapter Text

After the whole drunken party, everyone had collectively decided that they should go home for the day. Nobody would have gotten any work done anyways.

Kenji, atsushi, and Kyoka went out for crepes. Dazai went to the Porte. They had one day left until they were set to move in on the guild, not that he had told anyone.

He had pondered about telling the members ahead about his plan but decided it was for the best he didn’t. That would cause stress levels to rise and sleep levels to decrease.

Their victory depended on the fact that everyone would be at their best; there was no room for failure.

The only person he had told was his husband because he was the main other part of the plan. The only person he needed. In more ways then one.

As he stood alone on the pier he just looked out onto the waters edge. It had truly been a strange couple weeks.

Who would’ve thought everything would turn out like this. For once, Dazai didn’t.

He was so used to always expecting and knowing that he’ll be let down by those around him. But this time he didn’t. He was caught of guard.

Yosano let him down.

His phone sat in his pocket on silent. He just couldn’t think straight. He had one day to get his stuff in order before moving in on the guild. One fucking day.

He took a breath before locking his emotions back up in his head. It wasn’t the time to be weak. Anyone could be watching.

“Dazai.”

At the sound of his own name being called that he felt so detached from, he turned.

He recognized the voice and saw the man coming so it was no surprise. It was Lovecraft and John Steinbeck.

“To what do I owe the pleasure~ you’re not here to kill me I presume?” Said Dazai fluently.

Steinbecks face flinched at dazais nonchalance about dying, but Lovecraft stayed completely and utterly emotionless.

“No, I have information.” Claimed lovecraft.

Dazai had known lovecraft for many millennium yet with everything going on with yosano there was a pit in his chest. He didn’t know if he could trust the other man’s words.

They had done eachother so many favours, so many good things, but Dazai couldn’t find himself able to trust his instincts.

His instincts said lovecraft was a friend, but his heart was screaming enemy. It was expecting betrayal.

“Ohohoho? Really? For little old me?” Flirted Dazai.

“There’s a ship. It’s called the Moby dick.” Offered Steinbeck.

The thread of trust that Dazai and Lovecraft had was getting tugged in the other man’s direction. If he tugged any harder it would snap.

“It’ll wipe everyone out. Civilians too.” Continued the mortal.

Dazai looked towards Lovecraft who simply nodded. The brunette smiled before turning the other way and starting to walk.

“You don’t want anymore information? Where are you going?” Yelled Steinbeck after him.

Dazai paused and did a half turn so his side profile was visible.

“If I’ve learned anything it’s that, simplicity is key in things like this. Knowing less is knowing more.” Smiled Dazai.

“How?” Asked Steinbeck.

“I’ll plan for everything and not get caught on the small matters. Planing for Everything is best to see the bigger picture.” Continued Dazai as he completely turned to face the man, starting to walk closer.

“You’re reputation deceives you, as far as I’ve heard you’re the opposite. I thought the little things was all you cared about.”

“That’s true as well. But like I said. In situations like this, where I can’t trust most of what comes out of your mouth. I should just stick to what I know is definitely true. The longer I let you talk the more opportunity’s there are to slip false information in.”

By the time Dazai spoke the last word he was standing right in front of Steinbeck. Only a foot between them.

Just as Dazai was about to speak again Lovecraft spoke.

“You look tired.”

Dazais heart clenched. He was being energetic but still, Lovecraft saw through it.

“You speak as though you would care if I was.“ countered Dazai.

“I don’t, I’m just acknowledging it.”

“Is it tiring being so utterly emotionless.”

“No, is it for you pretending like you’re so full of it.”

Dazai just laughed at that. They both knew what was coming. What had to come.

“I’m gonna miss this.” Said Dazai with no smile on his face. No joking tone. Just speaking from old man to old man.

“I’d say the same but that’s not exactly gonna be possible for me will it?” Joked Lovecraft. He wasn’t the type of man to make jokes. Over the course of knowing eachother he had made maybe one or two.

“No. No it won’t.” Accepted Dazai.

The two made eye contact for a couple minutes in dead silent, as though they were just taking in the sight of eachother.

“Do you still like roses the best?” Asked the brunette confidently. Lovecraft nodded.

“I do too, but they bloom in all four seasons. I wonder if people who like roses best have to die four times over again.” Replied dazai.

“Haven’t we both already?”

Neither man spoke after that. They both just acknowledged the end of the conversation and walked their separate ways. Dazai went towards the agency. Lovecraft went towards the end of the pier, Leaving Steinbeck on his own.

After letting lovecraft watch the ocean for a couple moments he walked over.

“What were you guys talking about? The conversation made no sense.” Said a very confused Steinbeck.

Lovecraft looked at the other man with blank eyes until he just accepted defeat.

The stood there together for another 20 minutes before lovecraft turned to walk away.

Before he did he said one final thing.

“Conversations never really do.”