Chapter Text
Scrolling through HellBook in an array of liking every picture of the neon lit Tv Guy online, rewarded him all the thrill for a perfect night.
Oh, and maybe watching the red fumes as they engulfed the southern wing of Pentagram City did too. Wait, what was he doing again?
Sir Pentious shook his head. "Right. Hell will be mine! And thisss time, there's no presssumptuous whores to ssstop me! But first,- Ooh! Look at this prime magnificence! I’m not sure what this wrist band is but it lightss up and it’s touchssscreen! How wonderful!" He directed one finger to hit the like button on the HellBook post he was reading.
“Boss?”
“Oh, right!” A clawed hand met the lever once more and rewarded a shot of inventive bombs towards a few tall buildings in the area.
"Great shot, boss."
"Yeah!"
Sir Pentious slumped a frown at his egg companions. He promptly ignored them as he continued aiming and firing his way through the area, as well as scrolling HellBook. He just needed to play the right cards and take over the territory he needed, and he would finally redeem himself from the laughable blunder that was three months ago. “That damned Cherri girl and those annoying bombss… Never again.” He hissed beneath a breath. "Just a few more blasts from my deathly death ray and I'll have this territory to call my own!" He pulled three levers, sending heated blasts hurling towards the southern strip and painting the dull scene with glittery fumes of red smoke.
"Ahah hah! Take that for a show Katie Killjoy! This will ssurely makeup for that mess a few months ago. Be prepared for a brilliant news sssegment tonight for I, Sir Pentious will have finally conquered the southern wing of Penta- Impossssible!” He scowled at his phone. “How dare he claim the 9os is sssuperior to the Hellsung Android! Who does he think he is?” He glared down at his own Hellsung phone, lips pursing in thought at the many times he couldn’t understand how to operate it.
“Maybe he iss right…”
"Hey Boss, we're getting pretty close to that building over there."
"Sshut it!" Pentious snapped. "Can't you see that I am busy using this phony contraption of a mobile device?" He spammed three more likes. This LordVoxKillsU had such insightful content with so many gadgets and top of the line electronics being showcased! Maybe Pentious could learn a new ray of ghastly death for his blimp or maybe even how to install those cool music apps that every demon kept talking about. If only he could meet this neon Tv somehow.
Without a second’s notice, his body jolted sideways with the flow of the ship. The music of metal scratching against itself lit the scene.
“What now?” He struggled to balance.
“Boss, look!”
Pentious snapped in the direction of the panicking Egg Bois and now that he gazed out the ship's golden windshield, he realized they were rammed into a building. He scrambled his way towards the control panel and yanked the direction of the ship with a hissing panic.
The building began to crumble as he maneuvered and once the blimp was set sail to a clear path, he saw the destructive fracture that left a mark on one of the most important studios in Hell…
Pentious swallowed down a wave of cold hard fear. Putting the ship on auto pilot, he retreated down to his quarters to scream like a dying walrus.
"Yeah Al, everything's okay. I promise. Vee just needs me tah finish a set that's-Woah!" Angel lost his balance, falling to the ground and losing his phone somewhere in his dressing room.
The lights in the room sputtered repeatedly as Angel fell and the ground rumbled against him. He heard the screams of demons outside his dressing room. "What the fuck? Is this place fuckin' shaking?"
"Angel? Angel are you all right?" He could hear Alastor's voice from his phone and he spotted the lit screen underneath his dresser. Angel reached for it, holding the phone in one hand and he quickly stood up and went for the door.
"Uhh,” He replied. “Somethin's shakin’ the building up. Hell doesn't have hellquakes, does it?"
"No I don't believe so... What is going on, dear?"
Angel didn't answer. What he saw outside his room had him in awe. The studio harbored a massive hole up between the third and fourth floors, revealing a scraping ship passing by that Angel knew damn too well.
"Angel?"
"Hold on babe. I-I'll call ya back..." Angel hung up the phone and slowly made his way passed all the panicking demons until the chaos was right above him. That was the ship all right, and a shit show of a war was going to break if Sir Snakeshit really hit the studio in attempt to gain territory.
The crack in the building gaped up towards the upper floors. The VIP Lounge was up there and Valentino hadn’t been alone… Angel backed away and with a bolt of speed, he made his way up to Valentino's VIP Lounge.
The building rumbled again and Angel tumbled forward, catching his balance on a railing. "Shit. Better not use the elevator..." He went for the stairs, climbing his way up by the railings rather than running, hell he loved being tall.
Once he crawled his way up the last railing, he could see the worst of the damage. Thanks to the gaping hole in the building, the city lights peered through and lit the scene of crumbled rooms and sparking electric cables, along with a mask of smoky dust. He hopped over a few piles of the disaster and saw Val lying over the ground, red robe tattered and heart-glasses lying broken a few feet away.
And he wasn't moving...
Angel puckered his lips, his pulse racing high in excitement as he smiled at a possible miracle.
Then Valentino groaned and opened two eyes towards him. "An-Angel Cakes..."
“Shit…” Angel pouted under his breath. With a sigh and crossed arms, he trailed over to Valentino, one upper arm shielding his face from the dusty atmosphere. Now that he was this close, he could see Velvet pushing up the sofa that had fallen over her. Vox was nowhere to be seen however.
Angel fixated on the new layout of the shambled building. The VIP Lounge was now an array of tumbled walls and broken furniture. The pink and orange neon lights were dimmed or dead altogether, and the luxurious penthouse windows lost their job thanks to the hole that plundered them down. It looked like a twister hit the place. "Fuck boss, what are we gonna do abo-!" Angel gasped as he was yanked down by one arm, Valentino's face a vicious snarl before him.
"Get me downstairs, now."
Angel rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah, ya could've just asked."
"Don't pester me right now, Angie. Just get me downstairs."
Angel didn’t bother to argue, even if Valentino was lucky that Angel had gone up to check on the crew to begin with. He got to work in helping the man to his feet, leaning his body against his own as they headed on.
"What are ya gonna do, boss?"
"Track that pretentious, shit head snake down with my hellhounds."
"Ah, so you know it was him?"
"Saw the ship. He's a fuckin' damned idiot if he thinks he can hide."
Angel and Valentino descended down the stairs. He was able to hum halfway through Sia’s Chandelier before Valentino growled at him to stop, to which Angel continued the song in his head anyway until they reached the lobby.
Valentino stopped in his tracks, and Angel noted that he had seen the finest piece of the art that struck the lobby. Valentino didn’t showcase his usual cool grin. He was snarling, eyes heated as if they were ready to send someone to a void of nothingness with just one glance. “He’s dead.”
Valentino darted forward, hobbling towards the wall to hold himself up as he made his way down the lobby.
“Ah, guess ya don’t need me no more.” Angel shrugged and eyed the studio’s exit. Hole in the building AND his shift was technically over? …Time to enjoy a well-deserved dinner with the only guy who made all of Hell worth it and damn was Alastor a godly cook.
“Angie poo!” Velvet jumped before him, degrading the optimism that previously filled his mind. Her usually energetic eyes were slumped in a heap of panic. “I need your help to find Vox! Hurry!”
“Ugh, why do I gotta do everything?”
“No time Angie!” Velvet took his hand, already dragging him upstairs before he could even register that he was moving. He couldn’t do much to protest now, but he was still gonna complain about it.
“How hard is he ta find? The guys’ face screams, “Punch Me Here ‘Cause My Light Up Face Is Superior to Yours.” Oh, and ya know, he kinda glows?”
“He was standing next to the windows when we got attacked. What if something bad happened to him, Angie?”
Angel took a moment to find a reply. Beside the two other shit head overlords, Velvet wasn’t so bad. Sure, she was a pouncing ball that seemed to always jump in your face out of nowhere and maybe she was a little too energetic 24/7 but at least she wasn’t uptight like the other two.
They met the tattered scene again. He saw nothing but the same crumbles of wall and stone… Angel sighed but perked up to help her. “All right, where have ya looked, toots?”
“Everywhere!” She pouted in desperation.
“Any specifics?” He scanned the area. The smoke had mostly cleared out and sure it was dim in the room, which would’ve made it easier to find Vox. Hoping of course, that his electronics hadn’t short circuited again.
He swept the area with Velvet a few times with no avail. The egotistic Tv Lord was nowhere in sight.
Angel scratched his head and whistled. “Hell, where do ya think he went?”
“What if the ship kidnapped him? My Voxy can’t be kidnapped! He’s too important to be kidnapped!” She panicked.
“Uh, I think that’s the point, doll...”
“Angie!” She hugged onto him. Angel frowned, unsure of what to do. “What if his HellBook stalker took him?”
“Say what now?” He crinkled his eyebrows.
“Before the crash, Vox told us he had some new fan that liked all his pictures and posts since 2018. What if his stalker took him?”
Angel blanked out. He was only supposed to do a one-hour film shoot today and get back to the hotel to meet up with Alastor for a nice dinner. So why was he still here helping the damned overlords who weren’t technically supposed to need help to begin with?
“Angel!” Valentino’s voice rang in his ears. Right, that's why...
“What?”
“Don’t give me that attitude.” Valentino dropped onto the sofa, not minding the visage of dust that sprayed into the air. “We were just attacked. You should be concerned.”
“I am concerned. I’m gonna be late for my hot date tonight!” Angel growled.
“Oh right. Yes, with the man who gave you the confidence to open your big sarcastic mouth with me.” Valentino wasn’t impressed. He was beat up and pissed out of his mind and Angel wanted to keep piling up on that in hopes that the man would let him leave already.
“Two words. Hell yeah.”
“Well too bad." Valentino huffed. "Whether the radio shit head likes it or not, you’re coming with Velvet and I to catch that pompous blimp fucker. I sent the hounds after him in case he makes a landing, but that won’t do me any good if he stays in the air.”
“Val what the hell? No! I’ve got shit to do. Sorry.” Angel made it three stomps towards the exit before Velvet rewarded him with puppy-dog eyes.
“Angie…” She sniffled.
“Yes Angie.” Valentino chimed in. “Your film got scrapped. This is your shift now.”
He tore his gaze away, arms crossed with a scowl. He knew Valentino wouldn’t let him refuse the job, but there was no way in hell he was going side by side with him. “Ya can’t go anyway Vee. You’re beat the fuck up." He dropped a sigh. "I’ll handle it. Just let me go tell Al and I’ll go show Sir Whatever His Name Is the deal, kay?”
“Good idea. You and Radiohead can tag at it together and bring him to me. I’ll let you have the weekend off in exchange.”
“Now hold on there big guy, you want me to take my date on some high-speed chase in exchange to have the weekend off?” Angel rubbed his chin in thought. “I’m in!”
“Good. Glad we meet eye to eye once again. And Velvet, darling, I need you to go with them. Don’t want Angel Cakes slackin’ just ‘cause he’s got the man to protect him from me.”
“As long as we save Voxy, I’m up for the take!” She jumped up in excitement.
Angel groaned. “Right… Let’s go. I don’t wanna keep Al waiting. Or be here anymore. My shift technically ended twenty minutes ago.”
Who knows, maybe chasing Snake Shit over having dinner would be the highlight of his month. Ya know, hoping Alastor didn’t blow a radio dial upon hearing the change of plans.