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Isaac ran his fingers through his hair, counting his sparse luck for it to be free from sweat. Why was it that the past often plagued him following the aftermath of alcohol? Though, he supposed he had heard murmurings from Arthur regarding the same issue. Alcohol only providing a small comfort, until sleep brought forth the nightmares again.
Did everyone in the mansion deal with vivid rememberings of worthlessness? He tugged up his blanket, turning to face the wall again with newfound grumpiness. Why would they? They all seemed to have left a mark on history, while his discoveries only received constant mocking- in his past and current life, it seemed.
Ugh. Furrowing his brows, he attempted to slip back into sleep, praying for his memories to stop twisting into uncontrollable nightmares. And he felt almost successful until a loud knock sounded at his door, a soft groan leaving him unintentionally at the noise.
“Isaac? May I come in?”
Ah… The aftermath of his sleepless troubles ebbed away as your promise to see him came to mind.
With a yawn, Isaac sat up as he rasped a response, feeling the ache of restless sleep increasingly seep into his muscles. He had barely opened his eyes by the time he heard the tray you brought settle onto his coffee table, quickly followed by your gentle voice.
"Hey...How are you feeling?"
Exhausted. Between now and last night, he had gotten around four hours of sleep. He'd like to say he spent all of that time researching, but the embarrassment of getting into a 'fight' at the bar had swiftly halted any progress.
"Isaac?"
"Mmm…?" He blinked a few times, settling his weary eyes on you when you began to step closer. "I'm fine."
"You sound like you're still asleep," a soft giggle escaped, and Isaac felt a warmth bloom in his chest at the sound. "Is it still okay if I take a look at your eye?"
Another hum, but this time his nerves flaring made it easier to stay awake. This was the first time you had been alone in his room so early in the morning with an intention to linger.
The mattress dipped as you rested a knee upon the edge. "Wow, it did heal up quickly..."
Isaac winced as you gingerly ghosted your fingers around the tender skin, seemingly lost in thought as you absentmindedly brushed his bangs aside for a better look. While you were distracted, Isaac risked a glance.
"I guess by tomorrow it'll be gone completely, huh?" Your eyes hadn't met his yet, and he was thankful that the faint heat on his cheeks went unnoticed as he studied your distracted features, his gaze lingered on your lips. The same ones that pressed so softly against his cheek last night.
"Yes, it should…" Even so, he couldn't help but wish it was a little worse if it meant receiving further attention from you.
His eyelids fluttered shut, your careful fingers combing through his hair again, and he idly wondered if you were purposely trying to lull him back to sleep.
How nice it would be if you kept it up… continuing to brush his hair until sleep took ahold of him, letting Isaac rest against your bo-
"Isaac?"
Drat. Again, he pried his eyes open, startled when a hand slipped down to cup his cheek.
Ah… Isaac knew the blush that burned across the bridge of his nose was laughably apparent, your eyes crinkling as a smile played on your lips.
"I brought breakfast, like I promised. Do you want to go ahead and eat, or should I let you rest?"
Looking aside and seeing the fresh omelet enticed his stomach to grumble instantly. Despite the way his ears burned, the noise drew out another sweet giggle from you, and softened the embarrassment.
"Here, it's not a full meal, but hopefully it'll tide you over." Without further prompting, you quickly placed the tray in his lap. Sheepishly, Isaac began to cut away at the omelet you had cooked.
"It's good," He mumbled, chewing on a bite. "T-thank you, by the way."
"Hm?"
"For, uhm…" He blanked, unsure of what was right to say. 'Thank you for the kiss' seemed nearly as silly as thanking you for breakfast, as if it was something you only did for him. "E-everything."
“Of course. It’s the least I could do for last night.”
The least? There wasn’t a need for- “Well, it’s just that...You didn’t have to do anything.”
“Neither did you,” pulling the coffee table’s chair by his bed, you sat and smoothed your skirt, as if this was a regular occurrence. It took a moment for you to continue, the soft clattering of his fork against his plate filling in the silence between the two of you in the meantime. “To be honest, I never expected you would be offended on my behalf...”
Preoccupied with the act of you sitting by him (you were going to keep him company while he ate?), Isaac slowed his chewing in thought before realizing what you had said. With a start, he clumsily swallowed his bite in a rush to correct your thought, coughing lightly. Why had you sounded so delicate voicing that- Had he really made you believe he thought so little of you?
“I-It’s- He didn’t have a right to s-speak in such a way about you.”
A small smile played on your lips as you thanked him again. Once more he wondered how he was to consider your reactions, actions, and… Everything, from last night into today. As he took another bite, diverting his gaze, Isaac briefly acknowledged that despite your friendliness towards the others, the kiss couldn’t just be one stemming from platonic feelings. Could it?
Or were you even aware of the conflicting emotions it brought within him, knowing how the feelings of his crush amplified with the thought that your kiss was a sign that you felt the same…?
Suddenly, the bit of egg he chewed on seemed flavorless, sticking to his throat as he swallowed. He was enjoying your presence so earnestly until doubt began to overflow. Because surely, the kiss couldn't have meant what he had hoped. How could you, someone so well-loved and kind, fall in love with him; an aloof, awkward creature with a need for blood.
Ah...the lack of sleep was making his thoughts derail towards the negative side faster than usual. What rotten company he was. Clearing his throat along with an attempt to do the same for his mind, he set the plate and tray aside on the table, avoiding the glass of rouge waiting for him.
“Again, thank you. For breakfast.”
Isaac watched your eyes flit from the unfinished omelet to roughly his direction, before making a move to stand.
“A-ah, wait,” It spilled out without warning, causing your eyes to widen briefly. “I-I wanted to ask something…”
“What is it?”
The words lodged in his throat, nerves beating out exhaustion and stealing his tongue. He couldn’t- wouldn’t look at you, fingers toying with a loose string on his blanket.
But despite that you lingered in your seat, patiently waiting for him to speak.
“L-last night,” Did he imagine how you stiffened with those words? “What did t-that mean?”
“Sorry?”
It was a poor deflection, but it still made Isaac wince nonetheless. It could easily be that your nerves were just as alight as his, but the whisper in his mind cast doubt on the possibility, wondering if you had forgotten the kiss. Or, worse, if it meant so little to you.
His throat felt dry, voice coming out as a quiet strain. “Y-you kissed me…”
Silence filled the room, save for the loud thumps of his heart drumming in his ears. You wouldn’t look his way, instead looking off to the side as he continued.
“I-it’s not that I d-disliked it, just… I’m unsure of how to interpret it.”
The chair creaked uncomfortably as you contemplated a response, and in the time that it took, Isaac realized he hadn’t felt so small in years. Struck with the understanding that this could make or break whatever was between you, no matter how innocent, left him awash with a nervous heat.
“What would you like it to mean?”
Huh?
You fumbled with your apron- Isaac just now noticing how your cheeks flushed- and spoke again. “I’d like to know.”
What kind of question-? What would he like it to mean? Countless things! He wanted to hope it meant a lead into a confession, to be blessed with the warmth of receiving the affection he craved endlessly. That it meant you saw him as more than just a- a creature, that you saw him as an equal.
That you saw him for himself, and still wanted to be by his side.
“I-I…” Briefly, your gazes met while he searched for the words. “I w-want it to mean that…”
That… He wasn’t a fool, for thinking some... thing like him could deserve love.
“Isaac?”
He rapidly blinked, coming back from the mental abyss he had sunk into, only to see your worried eyes flitting over his features. When did you get so close? When had you cupped his face?
...Maybe he was more exhausted than he had previously thought.
“I’m sorry,” gently, you thumbed his cheeks. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
“It’s okay,” He rasped, feeling his shoulders drop. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, I-I think you were right to.”
His cheeks felt cool once your hands left them, instead taking a seat beside him on his bed, twining your fingers together. Neither of you spoke, the tense air ebbing away into something else he couldn’t place.
The rapid-fire change in emotions admittedly knackered him out, leaving him to wonder the reasons for you idly rubbing your thumb across the back of his hand. And yet, his heart stuttered all the same when your shoulders bumped together, words planned to leave unspoken spilling out quietly.
“I wanted it to mean… That you held the same affections for me, that- that I hold for you.”
The springs in his mattress creaked as your lips found his, the rest of his awkward confession disappearing at the taste of you.
Carefully, he cupped the back of your neck as he turned to face you better, returning your impromptu kiss with a clumsy one of his own. And, instead of pulling away from his inexperience, you gently guided him into another kiss, and another, and…
“Isaac,” Your heady voice made his head spin along with your quiet pants. “I have for a long time now. I just- I didn’t know if you felt the same. I’m sorry if last night made you overthink it all-”
“Everything causes me to overthink.”
A pause, and then a gentle laugh as you rushed to cover the smile that appeared. There was a vague concern that he should feel offended, but the relief your lips had brought washed it away, instead drawing a smile of his own out.
“I-it’s true, you know. To an extent.”
“Mmhm.”
“But, it’s alright, about last night.” A gentle squeeze of your hand, and he continued. “I’m honestly rather relieved that you feel the same. That you...”
How forward was it to say ‘love’ in this instance? Isaac could recognize the feelings that flooded his chest every time your eyes met his- but that didn’t mean you also felt so deeply. With a nervous glance your way, he saw you still wore that ever-bright smile, resting your head on his shoulder.
“I’ve loved you for a while now, Isaac- Ah!”
Unable to curb the impulse, he drew you into an embrace. Because...Gods! The way his heart thrummed at the words he had longed to hear-! Countless times he had imagined the way you may confess, but none held a candle to reality. Especially as you held him back, just as tightly…
“I love you too, I-I have for so long…”
You drew back, pressing your lips onto his once more. The pads of your fingers gently slid down his back, seeming to melt when he followed up with each kiss you blessed him with.
Maybe… With you by his side, he could find it within himself to admit that he deserved every ounce of your love.
(As long as he swore to return it tenfold, of course.)