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“You killed it!”
Leela wiped her knife carefully and sheathed it. “Yes, Doctor. That was the last one. I told you I would protect you.”
“Yeah, you did, didn’t you? I’d forgotten how handy you were with pointy metal objects. But I don’t approve of killing!”
Leela raised her chin. “Tell that to those vicious green things. They tried to kill you. Would you rather they had?”
“Well, not as such, no, but –”
“Then you should thank me, husband.” She met his alarmed gaze calmly, before suddenly faltering and glancing down. “I have some ideas about how, if you would like to hear them.”
The Doctor flapped his arms about as he struggled for words. Leela only sighed and pulled him closer by his tie. She liked him very much, but he was not all that practical. Luckily, she was.
“Yeah, but, look, the thing is, this isn’t how this was supposed to happen! You were supposed to meet me earlier. Or later, whichever way you look at it. You think I’m the Evil One. This is just… wrong. Very wrong. And kind of disturbing.”
“You do not like being married to me?”
“No, no, didn’t say that! You’re definitely one of my favourite people when you’re not trying to stab things. It’s just… I’ve gone and buggered up my personal timeline somehow. There’s nothing else for it. We’ll have to get a divorce as soon as possible.”
Leela frowned, but then her expression cleared. “If that is what you want, then we shall get one. But first,” and she put her arms around him, giving him her most beautific smile, “you were about to thank me for saving your life.”
The Doctor cleared his throat. “Yes. Right. That. Can’t let a lady down, can I?”
“Shh, husband. You talk too much,” said Leela, and kissed him briefly on the mouth.
“Really, really buggered up the timeline,” he muttered as she drew back and watched him almost shyly, fearing another rejection. The ways of the Doctor were difficult to fathom. Then, to her relief, he shrugged and gave a grin. “Oh, well. Got to consumate the marriage or those weird priests’ll come chasing after us again and we’re in enough trouble as it is. And, I mean, if I’m totally honest, it’s not as if I never thought about it before –”
He didn’t sound sorry about the prospect, and that was the important thing, so Leela took his words as merely a long-winded way of saying yes and kissed him again, this time much more fiercely.
Afterwards, Leela sat awake and alert, keeping watch over her peculiar new husband – she could not be sure no one else would want to kill him. He had many enemies.
She stared up at the night sky she was now free to travel and wondered what a ‘divorce’ was and where she would find one. Was it a fierce beast and if it was, what was the best way to slay it? But if it was what the Doctor wanted, she would find one, no matter how dangerous the hunt. She raised her chin and tightened her grip on her knife. It would be no match for her, of that she was certain.