Work Text:
After a successful night hunt, the GusuLan Sect junior disciples made their way back to Cloud Recesses under a generalized sense of achievement and satisfaction. Their chatter filled up the morning, rivaling the chirping of the birds above them. They were so caught up in their conversations, congratulating each other for their feats and their techniques, that they never noticed when the birds went silent, just like they didn't notice the two human-like figures waiting for them on top of the old tree until they fell on them.
The figures caught the disciples off guard but they drew swords and were ready to face whatever those individuals planned to do when they touched the ground. Except that they never did. The attackers bounced a few times and then stayed there, with their feet half a meter above the ground.
“Are those ghosts?” one of the disciples asked.
“Did they just hang themselves?” asked another.
“Wait!” said a third one. “Those are not people! They're straw dolls!”
“What?” exclaimed all of them at the same time. They gathered closer to the figures and confirmed that, yes, they were indeed straw dolls. Human-sized, crudely made, and completely harmless.
“I don't get it...”
“What's going on?”
As they asked each other without finding any answers, snickering rose from the bushes on the side of the road. Snickering that grew and grew until it became boisterous laughter. Then, they understood everything.
“Senior Wei,” some of them mumbled while others groaned and all of them returned their swords to their sheaths.
Senior Wei, Wei Wuxian, indeed came out from the bushes still laughing and pointing at them with one hand while dragging Lil’ Apple behind him with the other.
“You should’ve seen your faces!” he began but was interrupted by the donkey, who pulled himself toward the juniors braying happily, having recognized them as its frequent food- and petting-givers. “Hey, you traitor! Get back here! I still need you!” Yet, he let Lil' Apple drag him to the juniors. On the way, his pout became a grin. He stood with his back to the straw dolls and proceeded to ignore them as he addressed the boys. “So, it sounded to me like the night hunt was a success, huh.”
Those words were enough to get him surrounded. All of the juniors wanted to speak at the same time and it took a while for them to sort out an actual order so they could all tell Wei Wuxian how much prey they had taken down and even exact number swings from their swords it had taken. Wei Wuxian listened to the enthusiastic verbal reports, nodding along, praising the junior disciples, and, in the end, offering pointers on how to put them down in writing in a way that would satisfy their teachers.
“All right,” he said when he finished with that. “Now, the real reason I’m here. Sizhui, do me a favor and get on Lil’ Apple.”
Had such a request come before he started getting his memories back, he would have hesitated less about doing it. Now, though…
“Sizhui, please? Just humor me.”
Lan Sizhui stared at Wei Wuxian's bordering-on-smug smile for a moment before deciding he didn't have much room to escape from this. It was a matter of choosing one's battles. Thus, a moment later, Lan Sizhui went ahead and mounted the animal, which bore it all with dignity.
“Ready, senior Wei,” he said.
“Not yet,” Wei Wuxian replied.
From the inside of his robes, he produced a piece of rope with a couple of amulets on each end that he threw at Lan Sizhui. The rope tied itself around him, leaving him trapped and unable to move. The surprise made him drop his sword, which made a clunking noise when it hit the ground.
“There! Now you’re ready!” Wei Wuxian announced, arms folded and self-congratulatory.
“Senior Wei? What are you doing?” the boy asked. He glanced at the other juniors, who looked just as confused. Whenever they thought they had gotten used to Wei Wuxian’s antics, he dropped a new one on them. Two in the same morning, even. Three, as it turned out since, after picking up Lan Sizhui's sword to put it on his back, their senior went back to laugh again, although this time it had a more theatrical edge.
“Lan Jingyi!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed pointing at him. “You are now in charge of telling Hanguang-Jun that the nefarious Yiling Patriarch has kidnapped Lan Sizhui! He’ll know what to do.” He then turned around and began to leave, although not without producing an apple from his sleeve; the donkey might have ruined his entrance, but he wouldn’t ruin his exit. As he parted, with Lil’ Apple and Lan Sizhui on tow, Wei Wuxian raised his hand and waved it. “Make a note of using the word nefarious!”
“Yes, senior Wei,” Lan Jingyi replied in a low voice. However, he remained where he was for a little longer, looking at his friends as they became smaller and smaller, one dragging the other away. Lan Sizhui looked resigned to his fate, not even trying to free himself, the only thing anyone could do whenever Wei Wuxian got an idea.
There were only two things clear for the juniors. That Lan Sizhui was not in any real danger, and that the only way to find out what had just happened was to follow Wei Wuxian’s instructions. Therefore, Lan Jingyi and the rest hurried back to the Cloud Recesses to find Lan Wangji.
“I would’ve come with you if you had asked,” Lan Sizhui said. “You know that, right?”
The road they had taken was not in the best conditions. Lil' Apple made it through with ease, though, even though he bounced a lot. Since he couldn't use his hands for balance and he didn't want to fall on his face, Lan Sizhui had to adjust himself at every step.
“But then you wouldn’t have been kidnapped, would you?” Wei Wuxian answered. He let himself fall a little behind so he could place a hand on Lan Sizhui's shoulder to help steady him.
The boy leaned against that hand and continued. “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand the need to kidnap me.”
“Oh, you will soon enough!” Wei Wuxian laughed again, which pointed at the answer being, ‘it sounded like a fun idea when I thought of it.’ He gave Lan Sizhui’s shoulder a warm squeeze. “You should be all afraid and screaming in terror, though. Begging from the top of your lungs for someone to come and rescue you.”
“I’m not afraid.” It wasn’t even a boast, just a fact of life. He trusted Wei Wuxian and knew his pranks didn't have ill intent.
Regardless, his words earned him a pinch on his cheek.
“Ah! What a brave, young cultivator!”
The brave, young cultivator wasn’t sure if he should thank the compliment, so he only smiled and nodded. Which was just as good because that’s when Wei Wuxian announced they had arrived to wherever they were going.
“There it is! My evil lair!”
Lan Sizhui looked at where his… captor pointed at. The man had taken him to a cave on the side of a mountain, a difficult one to see unless you knew what to look for. The entrance gave way to a narrow corridor which had lanterns on each side that provided warm light where sunlight could no longer reach. Those lamps were new of good quality, the same as the table and the chairs that waited for them in an open area further ahead. The real surprise, though, was Wen Ning on the back of the cave preparing food near an opening that let the smoke out.
“Wen Ning! We’re here!”
“Young Master Wei, A-Yuan! Welcome,” he began, turning around, but stopped himself when he saw Lan Sizhui tied up on Lil' APple. Feelings didn’t show on a fierce corpse’s face the same way they did in a living human, but the boy knew him well enough to tell he was just as confused.
Lan Sizhui forced a small, polite smile. “Good morning, uncle.”
“Prisoners shouldn’t talk!” announced Wei Wuxian. “Wen Ning, would you be so kind as to take him to the table, please?”
Wen Ning looked from one to the other until Lan Sizhui gave him a small nod. Thus, Wen Ning complied, picking him up from the donkey to place him carefully on one of the chairs.
“I’ll take those off,” Wen Ning said, placing his hands on the rope to rip them off.
“Wait, uncle,” Lan Sizhui whispered. “It's a game we're playing.”
Wen Ning would've sighed had he been able to, but left the ropes alone.
Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian plopped down next to Lan Sizhui, his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand. “Fantastic. Thank you,” he said to Wen Ning.
“I’ll go check on the food,” Wen Ning said. “Call me if you need anything,” he added addressing Lan Sizhui and left only after the boy nodded in acknowledgment.
Wei Wuxian, however, did not acknowledge anything and went back to the role he had assigned to himself. “Now is when I tell you about all the ways that exist to harvest your body parts.”
“There can’t be that many.”
Wei Wuxian did a double-take and then laughed again, delighted to hear that his prisoner had finally chosen to play along. “Oh, you’d be surprised!”
“Surprise me, then. As I said before, I don’t fear you. Because—” Lan Sizhui took a deep breath before continuing. He could feel his cheeks warming up and getting red when he closed his eyes and exclaimed from the top of his lungs, “Because good is on my side and good will always triumph against evil!”
This time, the force of Wei Wuxian’s laughter almost made him fall from the table. “Oh, dear! Stop! That’s too much! That’s too much!”
It was so contagious that Lan Sizhui began to laugh as well. The kind of laughter that would raise eyebrows at Cloud's Recesses. But this place was not Cloud Recesses and there was nothing wrong in feeling joy. Besides, despite his incomplete memories, he was sure this was the first time he played with Wei Wuxian at this level and he felt proud of himself.
It took Wei Wuxian over a minute to calm down and be able to go back to breathe normally. He wiped the corners of his eyes as the final pants subsided.
“Where did you even learn those words?”
“From a story Jingyi was reading.”
Wei Wuxian snorted. “Of course. Why not?” He sighed again and reached out to pet Lan SuZhui's head. When he spoke again, his voice came out softer. Sweet even. “A-Yuan, close your eyes and open your mouth. Please, humor me one more time.”
So there were more steps to his plan. Well, humoring him had brought the boy all the way here, and he felt curious as to how this would end. Thus, he did as instructed, preparing himself to be on the receiving end of something very spicy or very bitter. However, what Wei Wuxian pushed into his mouth was a piece of candy. It was delicious, and it stirred things inside him. The candy had a unique flavor that was not new but long forgotten. When he opened his eyes again, trying to piece it together, Wei Wuxian had undone his bindings and discarded the rope.
“Those used to be your favorite candy back when you were little,” Wei Wuxian said, offering him a small bag full of them. “They only make them in Yiling and only this time of year. It was a rare treat and you always called me your favorite person when I managed to get you some.”
Lan Sizhui accepted the candy with a bow and a small smile, all he could muster since the sudden nostalgia brought him closer to tears. “Did you go back to Yiling only for some candy?” Now that he thought about it, Wei Wuxian doing all of this just to give him a bag of sweets was in character for him.
Wei Wuxian placed his hands behind his head. “I asked Lan Zhan to take me there to get them while you guys were away after Wen Ning reminded me of them.” He grinned and pinched Lan Sizhui’s cheek. “He was right, wasn't he?” Then, he let go and frowned. “By the way, I did tell Jingyi to pass a message to Lan Zhan, right?”
“You did,” Lan Sizhui said around the new candy he had popped into his mouth. “He's supposed to join us soon, then?”
“Yes! He'll come! He is so smart and resourceful! I’m sure he can find the cave in no time!”
Lan Sizhui's candy nearly fell to the ground when he gaped. “You didn’t tell him where we are?”
“I did, actually! This morning, during breakfast. I asked him if he wanted to play a game. When he agreed, I gave him a map and told him to hold onto it until he heard the code.”
“Nefarious?”
“What?”
“You insisted that Jingyi used the word nefarious.”
“Oh. No, no. It just sounded like a funny word to say.” Wei Wuxian’s lips twisted. “Come to think of it, I didn’t… Ah. This is Lan Zhan we’re talking about. He will figure it out.”
Right on cue, Lan Wangji dashed into the cave. His brisk pace and elegant movements caused his robes to twirl around him. It was as if a gust of wind had suddenly risen inside the cave with the only purpose of making him look regal.
“Hanguang-Jun!” exclaimed Lan Sizhui.
“Lan Zhan!” exclaimed Wei Wuxian. He stood up so fast his chair almost toppled over. But he didn’t care. All he wanted was to go to his husband, and he did so, all but prancing and his arms wide open, ready for a hug.
He was met with the tip of Bichen aimed at his neck, which brought him to an abrupt stop. Wei Wuxian's face went from the happiest grin to the biggest pout and he now looked at Lan Wangji with the most distressed eyes that Lan Sizhui had ever seen.
“Lan Zhan?” he mumbled.
Lan Wangji relaxed his stance. “Didn’t you want to play?” he asked.
Wei Wuxian’s pout intensified as he flailed and whined. “I saw you and I got so happy that I forgot!”
Bichen went back to its sheath.
“I’ll go back out and start over.”
“No!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, still pouting but now more brat-like than hurt. He threw his arms around Lan Wangji’s neck. “Stay! I hadn’t seen you since breakfast and I missed you.”
Lan Wangji nodded and wrapped his arms around Wei Wuxian’s waist, leaning down to kiss him.
Lan Sizhui sighed and averted his eyes. The year before, if anyone had told him that kind of thing would become part of his everyday life, he would have been too confused to think of a proper answer. Right now, he just shook his head and grabbed a third piece of candy.
“Too many sweets can spoil your appetite,” Wen Ning said. He had now finished placing the food on the table and sat down on the chair next to the boy.
“Yes, uncle.” Lan Sizhui put away the bag of candy inside his robe. It made him sad to be unable to share some of them with Wen Ning. At the same time he thought of this, an image appeared in his mind. When he was little, long before he knew what a fierce corpse was, he had tried to give food to his uncle. About what happened after, he was blank, so chances were that Wen Ning spat whatever he had been given where Lan Sizhui’s younger self wouldn’t be able to see it to spare his feelings.
Wen Ning seemed to pick up his nostalgic mood and ruffled the boy’s hair.
“By the way, are we celebrating anything special?” Lan Sizhui asked.
“Not as far as I know,” Wen Ning replied. “I got an invitation to join you for lunch. In return, I volunteered to cook.”
A true relief, really, given who the mastermind behind all of this was.
“Thank you, uncle. That was very thoughtful of you.”
Said mastermind, by the way, chose this moment to return to the table arm in arm with the newest arrival. He had also gone back to cackling.
“Do you see, Lan Sizhui? Your would-be savior is now on my side!”
Lan Sizhui stood up to bow to them. “I do see, senior Wei. I have spent this time reflecting and I’ve realized that my wish is to join you as well.” He looked up to discover Wei Wuxian snicking, as well as a glint of amused approval in Lan Wangji’s eyes.
“Fine, fine,” Wei Wuxian said. “I’ll take you into my gang. Now that’s settled, let’s eat! I’m starving!”
So they all sat down. Once they began eating, Wei Wuxian declared the game finished and dropped all pretenses of being evil and focused on exchanging anecdotes. He also encouraged Lan Sizhui to recount his adventures in the latest night hunt. The four of them stayed there well into the afternoon when they decided to go back home.
“You go ahead,” Wen Ning said. “I’ll clean up here.”
“Are you sure?” Lan Sizhui asked, feeling guilty about leaving him with all the work when he had been the only one not to partake in the food that, on top of it, he had prepared himself.
“Yes. I don’t have much else to do for the rest of the day.”
“Fine. Thank you again, uncle,” Lan Sizhui replied. He decided right then to get him a nice gift the next time they saw each other.
On their way back to Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian was the one to ride on Lil’ Apple, flanked by Lan Wangji on one side and Lan Sizhui on the other. It was nice to be able to stretch after so much time sitting down.
“Ah!” exclaimed Wei Wuxian. “Thank you for playing along, A-Yuan. It was very fun!”
“It was fun for me too.”
“We should do it again soon.”
“Maybe it could be done sparingly, to keep it fresh.”
“Maybe,” Wei Wuxian repeated. “We’ll see.”
That, of course, would depend on how bored he got after the novelty of this adventure faded away in a few days.
“Oh, by the way, A-Yuan, would you mind sitting on Lan Zhan’s shoulders?”
Or in a few minutes.
“I’m sorry?”
“It’s an idea I’ve had for a while.” For someone who wasn’t fond of dogs, Wei Wuxian had very intense puppy eyes. “So, would you mind?”
“I wouldn’t,” Lan Wangji replied, breaking his silence for the first time since they left the cave. Nothing on his face or tone of voice indicated whether he joked or not, but he would absolutely go there to ensure his husband’s happiness.
Two against one. So unfair.
The time to pick his fights had arrived. This was it. Lan Sizhui raised both hands in self-defense. “Thank you! I appreciate the offer but I’m fine walking. Honest!”
Wei Wuxian's laughter echoed around them. “All right. Some other day, then.”
“Some other day,” Lan Sizhui repeated while hoping said day would never arrive. Or at least not when they headed home and he had to explain things to the other juniors.
Fortunately, though, Wei Wuxian dropped the subject and entertained himself playing the flute.
Lan Sizhui got another piece of candy. “Senior Wei is my favorite person,” he announced. “But he has to share the spot.”
Wei Wuxian stopped playing to smile warmly at him. “As long as it’s with Hanguang-Jun I don’t mind.”
Lan Sizhui smiled back at him. Soon, he hummed the melody Wei Wuxian was improvising on their way. This had been a long, weird, fun day that resembled nothing to what he had planned in the morning, but he didn’t have any regrets. He had discovered that a moderate amount of chaos could be good for the soul, and he was glad to have it back in his life after all these years.