Work Text:
for digging up the grave another time
but we were something, don't you think so?
roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool
and if my wishes came true
it would've been you
frank’s gaze meets gerard’s as he takes a huff from his cigarette, hands shaky and eyes teary. gerard was onstage singing the last song from the night’s gig, closing his eyes abruptly but gazing back at frank after. as frank looks on, admiring him a few feet away, his heart swells. gerard’s honey voice fills his ears, it penetrates the atmosphere inside the cramped bar. while the outline of gerard’s beautiful face, imprinted in his mind. he takes note of his lover’s pointed nose, and cherry lips alongside gerard’s mesmerizing eyes. it’s hard to erase the memories of a person when you see them every day. it’s even harder to erase it when you’re in love with them.
frank clears his throat, trying to get a hold of himself, trying to not let his feelings overwhelm him. don’t be so vulnerable, he thought to himself. every memory with gerard comes rushing back to him. soft hugs and feeling his warmth, haste kisses and hushed murmurs. sleepless nights and reciting poetry. the sight of gerard glowing against the morning sunrise, the sight of them next to each other, the sunset a witness. tossing pennies at wishing wells, the small raven haired boy wishing for more time, the taller boy wishing for acceptance. an unspoken secret, best kept hidden in the pits of their stomachs, never letting the heart learn. oh but how the heart yearns, how frank’s heart yearns and aches.
in my defense, i have none
for never leaving well enough alone
but it would've been fun
if you would've been the one
in frank’s mind, everything with gerard was picture perfect, but reality was harsh. and he has come to accept it. the song was coming to an end now, much like their story. this is the hardest part, letting go. but it’s time to forgive. forgive himself and forgive gerard. forgive and let go. but never ever forget. no, frank doesn’t want to forget gerard. he wants to keep the memories they’ve made in a vault with a heart shaped lock, kept in the crevice in the back of his mind. and him, the only one holding the key.
the song is finished now, the only thing to be heard is the scattered applause of the audience. mikey and ray got up onstage to start loading their instruments back in the van as gerard steps down the stage sluggishly, the alcohol taking over his body. he walked towards frank, a lopsided grin adoring his face.
“so what’d you think?” gerard asked sitting on the empty chair opposite to frank.
“great as always” frank replied, chewing on his bottom lip. discarding his cigarette in the ash tray.
gerard laughed, pleased with frank’s praise. he takes out his phone and taps absentmindedly. frank studied him, taking in every detail of gerard’s face, afraid that the man before him might fade away, never to be found again. gerard’s eyes lights up as he reads a text message, he replied back hastily and puts his phone in his pocket. he stands up and fixes his jacket, trying his best to sober up but to no avail. gerard still looked like a drunken mess and frank is keeping his best to stop himself from wanting to take care of gerard, wanting to kiss him right then and there.
“hey frankie, i gotta go”
“it’s fine, you know i love you right?”
frank admits quietly, dejected. he felt discouraged. he didn’t know why he said that. but he did.
“i know”
gerard replies. frank stands as gerard envelopes him in a hug. there was something different with this hug. gerard’s arms embraced him tighter than usual, as he rests his head on frank’s shoulder. more time, please give me more time, frank chants in his mind. as he desperately tries to hold on a little longer. but time will never be on your side no matter how much you want it to. gerard broke away from the embrace and walked towards the door. suddenly, a girl enters, her eyes filled with curiosity as she looks around. her lip gloss smile appears once she settled her eyes on gerard. she kisses him on the cheek and they hold hands. but before they walk out the door, frank and gerard look at each other one last time. frank tries to hold back his tears as his lips tremble. one last glimpse before letting go of the man he loved, unconditionally and fearlessly. they walk out the door and frank’s heart shatters into pieces.