Chapter Text
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„What are you thinking of?” He watched him from the side, trying to figure out, what was on his mind. His face was unreadable as always. Eight years later and he still could only wait for him to speak up, what he only seldom did.
He finally looked up. His face full of shadows of the night lights. He smiled as he answered: “You are asking me, what I think? How come?” His voice was cold as ice.
Jaebeom was speechless. He had never talked to him in that tone. The confusion was replaced by anger: “What did you just say? How can you…what’s wrong with you? You only talk, when I address you directly. You ignore the staff nearly completely. They are scared to even approach you. If this is another one of your rebellions, don’t even…”
Jinyoung interrupted him with an hollow laugh. People not far away from them were looking over at them now. Mostly staff and their managers. But Jinyoung didn’t seem to mind. He pushed himself off the ledge they were both leaning on until now. It was a short break in their packed schedule.
Jaebeom was conscious of the glances and stepped into Jinyoung’s way, as he tried to walk back to the others: “Don’t think you can just play me like this. If you have something to say, do so. Use your mouth, you coward!” He kept his back to the crowds of people, not wanting to give away their little quarrel.
Instead of stepping back, like he usually did, when Jaebeom got this offensive, Jinyoung stood his ground. He was sick of all of this. This little game of “pretend-to-be”. He raised his head and looked his Hyung in the eyes, not even ten centimeters distance between them.
“You want to know, what I think? Fine. I think you are the coward. An idiot. Lying to yourself and everyone around you. ‘I should just say it’? Fine: You were wrong! You know, you were back then, and you know it now. This is not right. I am sick of this, but I thought all along: ‘It’s for Jaebeom. Hyung knows, what he is doing. You followed him for over eight years. This was for the best.’ But you were wrong, and I was wrong to not stop you on that day back in the studio. They all trusted you, they trusted me to settle it, but I just kept quiet like a fool.”
Jaebum was as breathless as Jinyoung, when he finished. What was he talking about? They had done the right thing…hadn’t they? He thought this uneasiness would disappear or at least fade away after some time, but it never did. Still, he…
“It’s your fault, that they all left.”
It was only audible for both of them, just a whisper. For Jaebum it felt like he had yelled the words at the top of his lungs. He could catch a glimpse of regret in Jinyoung’s eyes, but it was gone as fast as it came. Leaving only a cold mask behind. He didn’t wait for the response Jaebum didn’t have.
He turned his face away and left him standing like the fool, he felt like.
It was his fault, they were all gone.
All five of them.
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