Work Text:
This week, Wei Wuxian always on Lan’s residence to take care of them.
What? Who are they? So, this is the story...
Wei Wuxian, a high school student who had just move up to 3rd grade was having very free time in his holidays. If he wants to study he’s already smart, if he wants to play he’s always win. So, it’s kind of boring. Seeing that Wei Wuxian's being lazy potential was too great, Mrs. Sanren asked her son to look after her friend’s two sons.
A high-class playboy who claims he has dated with hundreds of girls certainly refuses. Where does he want to put his handsome face later when one of the girls seeing him being haha-hihi with the kid in a public place?
And here he is. In front of a magnificent white house until the cockroaches ─nope, I am lying─. His eyes half asleep immediately glared when Mommy Sanren smacked his ass.
"Mom, why A-Ying have to take care of those brats?" Wei Wuxian tugged at Mommy Sanren's hand. But she was stubbornly in place, did not shift even a milimeter.
"Just in case if you have children."
Bzzttt
"With Lan's residence ..."
"Hello, I'm Cangse Sanren, Meixin's friend."
"Oh my goodness, Mrs. Sanren, please come in first ..."
Ask someone from the intercome voice. The small gate opens by itself.
"Mrs. Meixin still has business in the toilet." Greet a polite maid. Mommy Sanren just nodded.
Wei Wuxian was still chating with his 5th girlfriend, then suddenly his 9th girlfriend called. "Ah, hello, dear? Oh, I'm at food stall with A-Cheng. I don't know when I will to go home, the noodles are as tasty as hell. Yes, yes, I'll go there later."
Not a minute's pause, his third girlfriend called. "Hello, babe? I am playing ball with A-Cheng, why? Oh well, if I have time, I'll pick you up."
Mommy Sanren started uncomfortable.
Only 30 seconds, there was another call from his 7th girlfriend. "Morning sweety~ Oh yeah? Surely you are very beautiful. Now, I'm just having blissfully bathing with A-Cheng hahaha ... don’t worry, daddy will buy lunch for you. Okay bye ... "
Far away, someone called A-Cheng sneezed three times until he got diarrhea. "Wei Wuxian you fuckers! He definitely use my name again." He accusing but ... that’s true.
When the another rang came again, Mommy Sanren immediately snatched her son's all-black cellphone. "No more phone calls. You lady-killer! Whose descendants are you!" She said then put Wei Wuxian's cellphone into her pouch.
Wei Wuxian glared. Bruh, he's mischievous because he is descendants of his mother. Look at them, Uncle Qiren, Uncle Ruohan, Uncle Guangshan, especially Uncle Fengmian, have all been dated wit her. But finally, she getting end up with Daddy Changze too, right?
But Wei Wuxian was just shut up. If he spouted like that, then he would spouted out of his family. He still has many concubines to support. Why? The problem is he says he already works and rich.
"Sanrennnn, geez, sorry I was out of diarrhea. It took so long, after all that bland eating, once spicy, my stomach feel explodes immediately ..."
"Well, let's do some spicy adventures sometime!”
Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes bored when the mothers were still chips. There was nothing to do, even the cellphone was taken, Wei Wuxian began to tour the large house that if lost in it, need help from the SAR team.
He suddenly felt in a middle of nowhere. The entrance of the tree gate like his favorite Disney films first welcomed him. Many white lumps live here. Wei Wuxian suddenly felt amused. Luckily it's not a dog.
Suddenly, a boy passed by in front of him. Wearing a long robe and the clothes are all white.
Don't tell me it's a child's ghost?
What the heck, don’t be stupid ...
Out of curiosity, Wei Wuxian further invaded the place like a fairy tale. Then he saw a white angel, no it’s not, then he saw the boy in white was surrounded by rabbits. His eyes blinked hard when he saw the beautiful boy kissing the rabbit in his hand. For a moment his obscene thoughts felt free.
Damn, the new candidate for my another concubine, heheh ...
"Hyaaattt!"
Wei Wuxian reflexively screamed as his jiggy ass was beaten savagely by something.
A boy dressed like a white power ranger had ruffled in waist in front of him. His right hand was holding a long white sword that pointed towards the dazed playboy in front of him.
"Dada!" The boy who was with the rabbits immediately hugged the costumed boy from behind.
*Dada : Gege in Gusu accent*
"Don't worry, Wangji! I will protect you from this evil creature!"
"Me?" Wei Wuxian pointed to himself. Stupid ideas immediately entered his brain. "I am the most evil and handsome creature in the world, rawrrr!"
The romp action was inevitable. Occasionally the costumed boy shook his toy sword ─unfortunately it was made of real wood─ making Wei Wuxian must be careful to avoid it and not be bruised so that his concubines would not fuss over this question.
"Dada wait! Dada!"
Because he was twisted in his own long clothes while running, the boy called Wangji fell. Silence for a moment before finally Wangji shouted loudly.
"Uwaaa mamaaaa ..."
The steps sounded from outside the tree gate.
"A-Zhan? A-Zhan, my dear, why?"
"Hik ... hik ... mama, fall ..."
"I told you not to wear these clothes again ... if you play you would fall like this ..." Mrs. Meixin blew Wangji's left knee, fortunately not bleeding.
"A-Huan, please put the swords first, dear ..." the costumed boy called A-Huan immediately kept his toy sword away stuttering, it was almost striking his mother's cheek.
"Now, tell Mama, why did A-Zhan fall, hmm?"
Wangji without hesitation pointed at A-Huan. While those who are appointed express an expression as if betrayed.
Aunt Meixin looked at A-Huan with a questioning look.
"I-it's not A-Huan, ma. All of this is because of gege!" A-Huan threw his mistake at Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian who had been busy holding back laughter immediately stopped. "Eh, what?”
"Earlier, you was the one who became a monster, you chase us, and we were all over!" A-Huan gave his defense while stamping his feet.
"Dada didn't wait for Wangji when dada ran. So this is a dada’s fault ..." Wangji murmured softly but still heard enough. He was defending Wei Wuxian actually, fufufu...
"Wangjiii, why you become like that?" A-Huan gave his fierce gaze to Wei Wuxian before finally cry loudly.
"Mom!" Wei Wuxian shouted at his mother who was staring at the rabbits with a hungry look until her saliva was almost dripping. "He is not my mother ..." he continued muttering.
"Um, aunty ..." he called awkwardly. Wei Wuxian scratched his right cheek, feel shame.
Aunt Meixin was still patting Wangji's butt. "Yes, dear?"
"No ..."
"Gege ..." Wangji looked sulking. He held out his hands towards Wei Wuxian.
"Looks like A-Zhan likes you, Ying."
"Erm, probably." Wei Wuxian replied while carrying Wangji. Wangji immediately hugged Wei Wuxian's neck tightly. Wei Wuxian's big hand patted Wangji's small back.
While A-Huan is still hiding behind Aunt Meixin's back. She patted his shoulder as if she were giving strength.
"Ma, gege has been accepted as our caregiver!" He shout out loudly.
Huh?
"Wahh, so A-Huan and A-Zhan agreed that Xian-gege will take care of you?" Suddenly Mommy Sanren interfere while carrying lots of rabbits.
"Mom, what do you mean?"
"So, A-Zhan accidentally fell so that A-Ying would hold him." Mommy Sanren answered thoughtfully.
"What the hell." Then Wei Wuxian felt his neck tighten. "So?" He continued asked rather choked.
"So you are accepted as their caregiver. Yeay!" Mama Sanren shouted excitedly by herself.
By the God, I'm tired ...
"Gege, Wangji's legs is really hurt~" Wangji whined at Wei Wuxian's neck, as if the fall is really fell, no trickery in it.
"Wangjiii let’s swiiitch, dada is also want to be hugged, Wangjiiii ..." A-Huan shook Wangji's legs and Wei Wuxian's waist.
While Wei Wuxian? His face turned ugly as bad as possible.
...
At the moment Wei Wuxian is more like a dead person in the living room of Lan's. Tired of accompanying these two cheeky brat to play. Running around here and there, throwing papers, lego toys, in the end he is cleaning up alone.
Not to mention, Wei Wuxian was still lamenting that A-Zhan was a boy. Too bad, even though he has a beautiful face like that. Failed to make A-Zhan to be his concubine.
Fyi, Mommy Sanren and Aunt Meixin were traveling to Europe, she said. Leaving an unfortunate child like Wei Wuxian to take care of two children with an evilish personality. Two clingy boys who would follow him wherever he went and would always hide his cellphone while they were playing so he cannot be connected with his concubines.
Wei Wuxian woke up. Staring at his red T-shirt which now has two traces of saliva on his chest. Left-right. Good. No need to imagine the exact position.
Wei Wuxian went to the kitchen. Greeted by a beautiful cute maid, just like waifu for weaboo. Unfortunately, she already has a lover, but it’s a girl! Making Wei Wuxian stroke his chest. What's good about the same gender ...
Wow. How irony. Let’s skip.
"How is it, Wuxian? Is it fun to play with them?" Asked Mian Mian for fun while preparing a drink.
"What do you mean with fun?” Wei Wuxian's grumbling drained his orange ice.
"In fact, this is the first time they have played like that ..." said Mian Mian while chopping a watermelon.
"Really?"
"Yes, many caregivers who previously resigned because they cannot handle it.”
"If it's cannot handle, then I can’t handle it either."
"It's not like that. They are cannot handle it because the young master plays unusual." Wei Wuxian started to bring his face closer to Mian Mian, who knows she would forget her lover and starting to fall in love with him.
"Young master Xichen, umm he plays like a possessed child." Okay. Up to this point Wei Wuxian understood. But according to him, it's a bit excessive if she say he is possessed.
"Indeed, now he plays like a trance." Wei Wuxian said bluntly.
"No, it's much better now. In the past often throwing his legos, swords, arrows, until he climbs of coconut trees behind the house, like a monkey." Mian Mian answered his voice increasingly shrinking at the end of the sentence.
At this point, Wei Wuxian is still grateful that A-Huan has not gone to the stage of possession already mentioned.
"Then what about A-Zhan?"
"Young master Wangji often plays like a dead person."
"..." Wei Wuxian only sweatdrop.
"All of a sudden, He didn't breathe. Rarely blinks. He often wear his long white clothes while carrying a flashlight on the midnight. Always to look at the wall for a long time ... so the point is he’s like being possessed with a different spirit."
Wei Wuxian is getting goosebumps too. They really are the opposite. But why is it that when he takes care of them, it's different?
A-huan? Okay, Wei Wuxian understands. Although not as bad as what Mian Mian told. A-Zhan? He swearing, the child is possessed like his brother, then he just like he drinks vinegar everyday. Geez ...
"Gege." Wei Wuxian was surprised when A-Huan suddenly hugged his waist from behind.
Mian Mian had eye contact with A-Huan. The girl chuckled and left without saying a word.
"You hungry?"
A-Huan shook his head. His height was still limited to Wei Wuxian's stomach. Making him hug A-Huan happily.
The boy who just entered middle school pulled Wei Wuxian's hand spoiled towards the living room.
There, Wangji was awake. His right hand rubbed his eyes and the other hand hugged his rabbit doll tightly. Btw, in here A-Zhan just got 3rd grade in elementary school. "Why did gege leave? Does gege don't love A-Zhan anymore?"
See? How clingy.
"No, I'm was drinking.”
"You lied. Your face were close to Mian-jiejie, looks like you want to kiss her." A-Huan blurted and pointing at him.
Not only A-Huan, A-Zhan's eyes are already glazed with tears. Okay. They grow up too fast.
With a heavy heart and a grimacing smile, Wei Wuxian kissed the tops of the heads of the two boys in turn. A-Huan's neck and A-Zhan's ears were reddened. Wei Wuxian secretly admired the cuteness of these two boys.
...
FREEDOM!
No, actually not really a freedom. Her mom and Aunt Meixin still haven't returned. He still have a long holiday. But Wei Wuxian wants to make this day to be as good as possible.
The two kids today have private music lesson. Xiao for A-Huan and guqin for A-Zhan. Wei Wuxian shook his head. Feel sorry because their childhood must be filled with such lessons. Typical Asian parents.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
There is always asian better than you.
Damn right.
With a cheerful face, Wei Wuxian came out of Lan's residence. Leaving the two brats in with their teacher, the kids staring at him with a betrayed expression. Wei Wuxian is really happy. He then spurred his motorcycle to the promised place with his 5th bae. Without him knowing, what will come is not only his 5th bae.
It was late in the afternoon, at the city park, Wei Wuxian was enjoying the embrace with one of the concubines. Tickling here and there do not know the place they are in. Eww.
Duagh
"Wei Wuxian, what the hell ?!" An angry voice came from behind his ears.
Damn it! How come Wen Qing is suddenly here?
"You told me to come here to see you making out with other women, is that so ?!" Wei Wuxian is nervous. Not to mention, the punch just now might make his brain become suddenly jammed.
"Wuxian-gege, what does this mean?"
Good, the other concubine is here.
"Daddy?"
Nice. He just want to say goodbye right now.
Wei Wuxian remained silent as he gazed at the four noisy concubines, inviting the attention of many people. Some whispered at him. Regretting how futile his good looks were to be used for such things.
"Wei Wuxian! / Daddy! / Gege! / Babe!"
"Erm, that, um ..."
"Daddy!"
For fuck's sake God, what now ...
These two evil kids somehow and how they came. Suddenly it was clinging to his waist and hands. Four concubines of Wei Wuxian froze. The whispers are getting crowded.
"Daddy, let's go home, you said we will go to the ice cream shop."
"Daddy said today you want to buy A-Huan comics, come on, come on..."
The two boys pulled each hand. His legs were weak like jelly.
You little shit!! His heart cried. It seems they were texting to the other concubines to tell about today’s date. Because they know the password and hide their cellphones when playing.
"Wei Wuxian! Stop playing with women and take good care of your children. If you want to be serious, do it right. Poor your child if they have a playboy father like you. If I ever see you playing with women again, let’s see then!” Threaten Wen Qing then slapped Wei Wuxian with his pouch and left waddling.
While the other three concubines just stared sadly at Wei Wuxian, greeted the his evil 'children', then went to separate ways.
How pity.
Asshole! You guys dating me just because of my money and now act that you’re being abandoned!
After that, Wei Wuxian immediately brought his ‘sons’ home. Leaving the driver who escort the Lans, he stroking his chest and was also concerned about Wei Wuxian’s mental health.
Until home, Wei Wuxian slammed himself on the couch. His mood is broken. He wanted to be angry with these two boys, but it felt like he couldn't bear it. They are not to blame. Emm, actually they can, why did they just call him daddy at the public? Made people misunderstand about that.
Well, for concubines, it was indeed his fault. But about the call two kids earlier to him? Will not.
"Gege ... sorry." A-Huan murmured. He was clearly aware of his actions earlier in the park made his gege angry. His hands are linked behind his waist. His head bowed and his body was shaken from side to side.
"Hik ... gege, don't be angry ..." now A-Zhan who was squeezing Wei Wuxian's shirt until it was wrinkled.
Now Wei Wuxian is confused. Can he say no to faces like that?
Wei Wuxian let out a tired breath and then pulled the two boys into his arms. "How do we take a shower before sleep?"
A-Huan immediately jumped excitedly towards the bathroom. While A-Zhan spoiled asking to be carried. After bathing together, Wei Wuxian laid himself in a Twin Lan's king size bed and was flanked by both.
"When you grow up, what do you want to be?" Chirping Wei Wuxian, suddenly his eyes felt sleepy.
"Want to be a gege’s husband!" A-Huan answered loudly. Wei Wuxian just giggled.
"How about A-Zhan?"
"Want to be the head of the family for gege." He said softly.
"Hey what is this. Besides I'm a man, how can that be?"
"Can!" Cut both of them quickly.
"Yeayeah is up to you guys. Then, grow quickly." Wei Wuxian then kissed the top of A-Huan's and A-Zhan's head in turn before the dream come.
Without Wei Wuxian's knowing
"Are you tired?"
"Mn.”
"I was feeling guilty about Xiao Ying. Especially when he was slapped by Miss Wen."
"It's okay, as long as he's broke up with them."
"Hmm, how do you feel?"
"Have to learn guqin again. Bored. How about xiongzhang?"
"Same ... Well, it's nice to see you cry often, Wangji."
"It's also nice to see xiongzhang looking for attention like possessed child."
"Your mouth is mean as usual huh."
"Wangji's age is too young. Can't wait."
"In that case, xiongzhang will marry Xiao Ying first. Haha ..."
"Mn, no. Must be together."
"Okay, okay. The important thing in our present life now, I can also marry Xiao Ying."
"Mn. You don't need to backstreet anymore like you used to."
""We love you. See you tomorrow dear.""