Chapter Text
soojin's a woman of many dreams. she dreamt to be a dancer, an idol even. of course, she goes through hard struggles, but this one... it haunted her every night. before going to sleep, she would hear her parents' shouts, as they get run over by a truck. she can't do anything, she didn't do anything. she could only watch as her parents die a hurtful death.
"soojin, move!" her dad pushed her aside, as him and her wife are on the middle of the road. this roadtrip was supposed to be fun, but why does it have to end that way? bloody. a flashing of lights, wheels rolling. they turned their heads to see a truck run nearer and nearer. they couldn't move, it felt like their feet are stuck on the ground. soojin has her eyes wide open as she witness every second of her parents' death, hearing their deafening screams. she sees as the truck didn't bother to stop, continuing on moving. she remembers how police cars and ambulances gather around her, as she didn't say a thing.
she woke up again in the middle of the night, sweat covering her forehead, even though her air conditioning is on full power. she dreamt of that night again, even though it happened over a decade ago. she's an established idol now, a member of a worldwide famous group which consisted of 5 other members.
she remembers on how in their old dorm, her roommate would wake her up in the middle of the night, saying things like 'unnie, wake up.' 'i'll cuddle you, move over.' 'shh, don't cry. it's okay.' but now, she wouldn't hear those words every night anymore, for she has her own room now. sometimes, she's thankful that she can have her own privacy, but most of the times, she's dreading to hear shuhua's comforting words again.
she can't blame shuhua, though. it's 1 am, and of course, the younger would be sleeping, or is she? she didn't bother to stand up from her bed, initiating the first move. she contemplated, grabbing her phone from the night stand. she knew she should distract herself, so her thoughts would wander away from that night.
she scrolled through youtube, seeing her recommendations full of sooshu videos. not that she's complaining though, she finds the edits amusing. it's a hassle that most of them are in english, so she couldn't understand a handful of words. she chuckle at what she's seeing on the screen, very much aware on how much their fans- neverlands (or what shuhua prefers to call- neverver.) ship her to their youngest member.
well, could it be true?
she knows her sexuality very well, getting surrounded by both guys and girls throughout her years in cube. but now, she was mainly surrounded by 2 very much annoying women- or kids on how they would act. she did date a guy, but it didn't last long as that man has his own schedules, and she's getting ready to debut. now, she's surrounded by mostly girls; her members, their stylists, managers, make-up artists. the only male people around her is their driver and bodyguards.
a knock on her door can be heard, as she lift her head up from her phone, pausing the video that she was watching. she rests the device on her bed, as she lift her body from the soft material, the bed squeaking. with small steps, she walks towards the door, opening it quietly.
shuhua stood there with puffy eyes, as she grip on the ends of her long-sleeved pajama. "shuhua?" soojin opens the door more, letting the light from the hallway enter her dark room, now lighting it slightly. "u-unnie." shuhua rubs her eyes, squinting them towards soojin's direction. blame her blurry eyesight.
"are you okay?" soojin steps to the side, letting the long haired girl enter her room. shuhua skips towards her bed, plopping down on it face flat. soojin chuckles at the younger's antics, closing the door behind her. she walks towards her bed, sitting beside shuhua's legs which are dangling down the edge of soojin's bed. she playfully smacks the younger's butt, shuhua squeaking at the sudden hit. shuhua rubs the area, before turning her body around. she sits up, staring at soojin's face with curiosity.
because of her attentiveness, she sees that soojin's forehead is stained with sweat, as she wipe it off using her pajama sleeve. soojin lets her, stunned at the younger's actions. "why are you sweating?" shuhua shivers, "it's dead cold, and you're sweating." she trails her eyes down soojin's eye, staring directly at her.
"unnie," she hesitates, "is it... that n-night, again?" she speaks slowly, careful on how soojin would react. she notices a how soojin's eyes are watery, and how her nose is red. she knows she needs to be careful, especially when a topic like that is very sensitive. to be honest, she wouldn't know what to do if she was in soojin's shoes. just hearing her small whimpers and cries that would echo around their practice room, when soojin initially thought that everyone left, but shuhua remained. she wouldn't leave the girl, no matter what happens, anyways.
it broke her heart too many times for her to count, living with the older for almost 5 years made it a cycle for her to wake up at dawn to check up on the dancer, so she can wake her up from soojin's nightly nightmares. she would watch how soojin's breathing would get ragged, as tears continuously swim out of her eyes. her body wriggling in pain whenever a bad episode happens.
she remembers on how the first time it happened, on how she hastily climbed up the ladder to soojin's bunk, shouting for her to wake up to no avail. she felt bad for the other members that woke up, and knocked on their door at 2 am, worry plastered on their faces even though shuhua knew that they should be annoyed that they got waken up at an ungodly time of the day.
soojin looks away, a drop of tear falling down from her eye, as she sniffle- loud enough for shuhua to hear. it glistens against the moonlight entering from soojin's translucent curtains, shuhua noticing the liquid that ran down soojin's apple cheeks. she runs the palm of her thumb over soojin's cheek, wiping the tear that involuntary fell. soojin melts at the touch, the heat from shuhua's hand protecting her from the cold that the air conditioner is giving.
"shuhua," soojin croaks out, her voice husky. shuhua listens intently, her whole body turning to face soojin's crooked one. she drops her hand down towards soojin's hand that is on her lap, holding it with certainty and affection. "you would do anything for me, right?" shuhua smiles, giving soojin's hand a small squeeze. "of course, i love you." soojin's heart skips a beat at the confession, which she knew isn't what she wanted it to mean, but she let the butterflies on her stomach continue to soar.
"but, you wouldn't leave me, right?" she asks, her voice getting smaller every syllable uttered. shuhua frowns, the side of her lips dipping downwards. she roughly shakes her head, holding another hand of soojin. she squeezes them both, looking at soojin's teary eyes with eyes burning with passion.
"trust me, unnie. i love you, i would do anything for you." she pauses, "but i would never choose the stupid and horrendous decision of leaving you that would obviously hurt me for the rest of my life, and i know that my life span will be shorter without you because i can't cook, so i would need to stick with microwaveable, fast food meals." she pouts, "and i love my life, so that can't happen." soojin chuckles. shuhua’s excuse may be light, but she knew that there is a deeper meaning to that.
"ah, you're not leaving me because i can cook?" soojin teases, making shuhua pout. she shakes her head again, looking at their entwined hands. "no, i'm not leaving you just because you can cook." she looks up, meeting soojin's eyes. "i'm not leaving you because i want to be by your side always. i'm not gonna leave you because you light up my world, like nobody else." soojin chuckles at the pun, "i'm not gonna leave you because you warm me up when it's cold. i want to take care of you too, and i'm not leaving you until i do so." shuhua looks away, "and i want to take care of you for the rest of my life."