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“What do you think makes ‘em turn into Hunters?”
Gavin glanced across the room at Nines just in time to catch him rolling his eyes. “Gavin...”
“You’re the one who cares,” Gavin drawled, glancing out the barred window of the safe house. “Like, what makes some of them turn into regular movie zombies and others into the super ones?”
“Possibly a mutation in the virus that affects people with certain traits differently.”
“Hm.”
Nines went back to writing in his worn notebook. It was just some composition book from an office supply store, but Nines took care of it like it was the key to their survival. Even the plastic bag he wrapped it in was looking pretty ragged after he dropped it in a puddle a couple weeks back. He was cataloging everything they learned about the zombies. When he first started doing it, Gavin had joked that at least their dead bodies would be useful to whatever survivors found them.
Nines hadn’t laughed.
Gavin crawled across the small space and spun around to settle next to Nines, pressing their shoulders together. Nines relaxed just a little.
“What’re you working on?”
Nines’ LED flickered to yellow. “It’s... of a more personal nature. I don’t know how long my memory banks or database connections will be sustainable-”
“Explain it to me like I’m stupid.”
“You’re not stupid.”
He smiled and elbowed his partner. “Yeah, but I like to hear you do it anyway.”
“I want to record things about us in a more permanent place,” Nines murmured. “What it was like before the outbreak, our lives now, what places we’ve been to.”
“So like a diary.”
Nines looked flustered, but he knew better at this point than to give in to Gavin’s teasing. He just closed the notebook, also knowing that Gavin would reach out to hold it open.
“C’mon, I’m not making fun, I wanna see it,” he protested.
“Fine.”
Nines let him take the notebook and slid down so he could rest his head on Gavin’s shoulder. There was only one new entry, but it was described in vivid detail in the neatest Cyberlife Sans - the day the outbreak hit Detroit.
Nines went into the station alone to pick up some of their work to do from home because Gavin was incapacitated with a sleep deprivation-induced headache after sleeping 4 hours across 2 days, but still insisted he could work. The phone lines were slammed as the virus spread throughout the city and everything went to hell so fast. He managed to get a call through to Gavin right as a couple of zombies were trying to break into the apartment. He raced home, knocked the infected people out, and pushed through the barricade Gavin managed to set up in front of the door. Gavin almost shot him until he realized what was going on.
At first, it seemed like the best thing to do was to stay in place. There wasn’t a lot of info about the virus yet or how it spread, but watching from the window, Nines observed it was usually passed along through bodily fluids, mainly saliva. Then people who died other ways turned into zombies even if they weren’t bitten.
They had to leave when they ran out of supplies. The end of the entry was when they packed up as much as they could reasonably travel with and met up with Chris, Tina, and Valerie. That was almost a year ago.
“You left out all the gooey romance shit,” Gavin mumbled, passing the book back.
Nines frowned. “I assumed you would be uncomfortable with that.”
“I mean, yeah, but... If you’re trying to keep track of stuff, then you should include it. By the time anyone else reads it I’ll be dead anyway.”
Nines flinched again, so Gavin dropped the subject. He rested his arm between their laps, palm up, and leaned his head against Nines’. Nines quickly snuck his arm around Gavin’s and held his hand tightly. Gavin was going to die eventually, and if he had anything to say about it, long before Nines did. But he didn’t have to keep bringing it up.
“Sorry,” he said softly. “Really though, write all the sappy stuff. I’ll write some too so maybe if they’re put together we won’t look so emotionally constipated.”
“I know you definitely don’t want to write about your own feelings.”
“Meet me halfway here, alright? I’m willing to do it so you can have it with your stuff.”
Nines’ red LED was stark and angry in the dim room. It wasn’t the worst place they’d sheltered in, but he was more than ready to get back to the safehouse with everyone else. Gavin liked doing supply runs - he just preferred the small amount of security he felt in the house. Nines was always more comfortable there too with his small attempt at a garden in their attic.
“Okay,” Nines finally mumbled.
Gavin tried to hold back a yawn, rolling his eyes when it forced its way out anyway. “Ugh, I’m gonna try and sleep a little before we head out again.”
Nines nodded, and together they shifted down to the ratty old sleeping bag some poor bastard left there ages ago. Gavin curled up on his side with his arm sprawled out across Nines’ chest, using Nines’ shoulder as a pillow this time. Nines gracefully draped his jacket on top of them with one hand, tucking most of it around Gavin and resting his hand on Gavin’s elbow.
“I’ll wake you when the sun comes up, we’ll head out a little after dawn,” Nines promised.
Gavin twisted around to press a kiss to Nines’ jaw, even if he missed his mark a little. “Love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Don’t stop running.
Don’t stop running.
Don’t stop running.
Don’t stop-
Gavin’s lungs were burning but he couldn’t stop. He just had to climb up to the bridge controls, switch them on, and cover for Nines as he switched the generator back on.
They’d been fending off zombies for half an hour. The generator needed gas, and they tried stealthing their way to the nearest gas station to try and give it something if it hadn’t been picked clean yet, but they got caught by one of the big fucks. It didn’t hit them, but its bile drew the horde anyway. The faster Gavin got to the controls, the sooner he could get Nines to safety. He was a Terminator, practically indestructible, but Gavin wasn’t willing to take any chances if he didn’t have to. He already hated being the one in relative safety.
He slid to a stop and climbed the ladder as fast as he could, pausing only to fire at a Hunter crawling the side of the building headed towards Nines. At the top, he closed the gate, and pressed the labeled buttons to bring the barrier up. It moved and then sputtered to a stop before slamming back down. He could see Nines perched behind a fence, picking off any zombies that got too close.
Gavin clicked the radio on his hip, hoping it wouldn’t draw any more to Nines. “Bridge is ready, turn on the generator and get out of there!”
“I’m on it.”
He couldn’t help much with shooting from so far away, but he was able to hit a few getting too close to the fence. He wished he’d brought a rifle or something with a scope; he was still a shit shot either way, but maybe he’d feel less helpless.
The lights went up around the generator, and he watched as Nines snuck through a broken part of the fence to sneak around the zombies and race past them. He had to jump over part of the partition, but it looked as easy as a kid playing the floor is lava. He ran back to the ladder to offer Nines a hand at the top, then slammed the gate back shut behind him.
Gasping for breath, Gavin turned back to the horde below. “Think they know how to climb?”
“I’d rather not find out,” Nines replied.
“Yeah, me either. I just - shit - just need a sec.”
He backed up into the wall beside the control panel, swallowing hard. He could feel Nines scanning him, but whatever he saw was good enough apparently, as he didn’t say anything.
“That plan was stupid, if anything went wrong I wouldn’t be able to get to you,” Gavin mumbled, staring down at the floor of the walkway.
Nines gently brushed his hand against Gavin’s. “I’m fine now. It was much safer for me to handle the generator, and I know my strength.”
“Anything could have gone wrong, and it would have been my fucking fault.”
“I’m still here, and I’m not going anywhere. Never without you.”
The adrenaline was starting to wear off, and Gavin could feel every single muscle ache in his body. He wished he’d brought more painkillers with them, but this wasn’t supposed to be a complicated trip. He’d probably sleep for a whole week after they got back to the safe house - let someone else deal with this shit for a little while.
“The rest of the bridge looks clear, but if something goes wrong we’ll be trapped,” Nines said. “I felt better about it when we didn’t have a barrier on either side.”
“It’ll be fine. We’ve got enough zombie guts on us to mask us against the little ones at least.”
“I suppose.”
Gavin checked that his boyfriend’s face was clear of said guts before reaching up to kiss him. He could feel Nines smile as his hand slid alongside Gavin’s neck. When Gavin opened his eyes again, the soft glow from Nines’ skinless hand lit up both of their faces.
“Let’s go before they grow brains again,” he mumbled.
Nines scoffed and pressed his forehead to Gavin’s. “If that’s our timeline, we have all the time in the world.”
Gavin felt like total, absolute garbage.
He had episodes like this before the damn apocalypse, but the further they got from the world Before, the worse they got. One therapist diagnosed him with PTSD like fifteen years before the virus hit, but Gavin had just ignored her and just pushed his way through. It wasn’t healthy and to say it worked was charitable, but it definitely didn’t work now.
A lot of the time it wasn’t a big deal. He skipped out on a supply run or two and just did smaller chores around the safe house until he felt up to going out. Nines was always just super sweet on those days, helping him clean and cooking for him and just holding him in the moments it was all a little too overwhelming and the lights and sound of the house were a little too much.
Then there were days like this. Where he couldn’t even imagine leaving bed because even holding his eyes open hurt. Where he couldn’t even sit up on his own.
He knew during that last outing that he’d just earned himself another flare up. He wanted to be frustrated and bitter, but... at least Nines was safe. At this point, it was the most Gavin could ask for without feeling like he was bringing all the karma in the world upon himself.
He was lying on his stomach, face turned to stare out the window at all the snow on the ground. He couldn’t do anything else. Even turning his head to even out the new ache in his neck was a little too complicated at the moment. Nines went to make food for him or something... some amount of time ago. Gavin didn’t know how long it had been.
“Gavin, are you awake?”
He shifted his eyes down as Nines sat gingerly on the edge of the bed next to Gavin and reached out to run his fingers through Gavin’s hair.
“I’m not sure if this will help or not, but it can’t hurt,” Nines said softly, pushing Gavin’s bangs out to the side. “Can I try something?”
Gavin managed to give a tired thumbs up. Nines smiled and twisted around to place something warm across Gavin’s lower back. The heat instantly began draining away some of the tension in his body. Fuck, it was so much better than feeling cold.
“Tina found a heating pad in one of the houses they scavenged,” Nines explained, returning his hand to carding through Gavin’s hair. “Without electricity it’s basically useless, but I attached it to the generator long enough for it to warm up.”
“Feels good,” Gavin mumbled.
“Good. She hoped it would.”
He closed his eyes. “Hands’re warm too.”
“Mm, that is an added bonus. Do you want me to stay with you?”
“Mhm.”
Nines left him just long enough to walk around the bed and climb in behind Gavin. His hand rested between Gavin’s shoulder blades, also incredibly warm. He couldn’t help the contented noise that snuck out.
“I can’t do this for very long, but I thought it would help balance out the heating pad.”
He slowly turned his head to face Nines, ignoring the stiff ache spreading down his shoulders. Nines’ hand instinctively moved up to Gavin’s neck.
Gavin didn’t deserve Nines. At all.
“Is there anything else I can do?”
“You’re here.” That was enough for him. More than enough.
“And I’m not going anywhere. I just want you to be comfortable, too.”
That seemed like a little too much to ask for, especially with how scattered he felt. Gavin twisted around in the sheets until he could hold the front of Nines’ shirt in both hands, and Nines had to reach down and adjust the heating pad to Gavin’s waist.
“Read a little?” he asked in a whisper.
Nines smiled and rested his forehead against Gavin’s. “Of course. I’ll start where we left off?”
“Mhm.”
It was the same book, one Gavin had read dozens of times since he first found it in middle school. If Gavin fell asleep or dissociated a little too much, Nines could bookmark their place, and when they picked it up again Gavin would never be lost. Never with Nines there.
“He drew me closer, his hands warm on my stomacher. ‘I would,’ he promised. ‘I would know you anywhere for my true love. Whoever I was and whoever you were, I would know you at once for my true love.’ ”
“Gavin, no no no, please-”
“We gotta go!”
“Take him.”
“Nines, what-”
“I’ll keep them back and catch up later.”
Everything felt numb except for the white hot pain radiating from his stomach. Something touched his back and his knees and he shoved back against it. He could barely understand what everyone around him was saying over the ringing in his ears. Then he was off the ground, and he grabbed tight to whoever was holding him, clenching his fists around a sticky leather jacket.
“Down here, we can cut through-”
He tried to keep his eyes open but he couldn’t.
He came back to something touching the source of the pain, and he clenched his jaw so hard the ache spread across his skull. There was a hand on his forehead, pushing back his hair, and another holding one of his hands. Gavin could feel the blood drying on his skin and tried not to pass out again.
“You’re alright Gavin - we’re back home now, we’ll take care of you.”
That was Chris. It both sounded like he was so far away and yet so incredibly loud. Every poke and prod at his torso was another burst of heat and pain. He tried not to focus on what was happening, forcing his eyes open just to lock them onto the ceiling. Chris kept talking to him, squeezing his hand when he squirmed.
He wanted to scream. He wanted to curl up in a ball and sob until everything stopped. It felt like the whole room was on fire - like he was on fire - too hot and too dry like he was choking on it.
Something... Something very, very cold pressed against the pain and he instinctively jerked away, but that just hurt more. He couldn’t help the whimper that burst out of his chest as he desperately tried not to scream.
“We’re almost done. Ada said she found some painkillers and she’ll be up in a sec.”
A soft material brushed at the irritated mass of skin around the pain and tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. God, he just needed to cling to Nines and let his boyfriend pet his hair and make everything feel okay again.
“Nines...”
Chris squeezed his hand again. “He’ll be here soon.”
“Where?”
There was no answer to that.
Gavin lost track of the thought before he could ask any other questions. His head felt heavy and fuzzy and it was getting harder and harder to think.
Nines wasn’t there.
They were attacked getting supplies, ambushed by... by some people or zombies or... he didn’t know...
The pain hit...
And then they were home.
Nines wasn’t there.
“Hey hey, I didn’t mean it like that, he’s fine! He’s just... taking care of something for you on his way here, but he’ll be here.”
He tilted his head to look at Chris. “He’s okay?”
“Yeah, he’s okay,” Chris repeated back to him.
“All done over here,” Tina said quietly. Gavin tilted his head over to her instead on his other side, gingerly pressing on the medical tape across his chest. He wanted to ask her to stop because fuck it hurt, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. “Ada, is it ready?”
“Yes, here-”
Tina smiled a little and peeled off the shitty latex gloves she always hated using. “It’ll feel better in a sec. You can go to sleep if you need to.”
She brushed his sticky hair off of his face. He leaned into her hand and tried to take a deep breath. His eyes felt heavy again, and eventually he couldn’t keep them open anymore.
He woke up again in the dark.
There was a small lamp on in the room, more than they usually risked at night. Tina was in a chair next to it, curled around a book held directly under the light. Even turning his head to look at her took most of his energy. His rustling got her attention and she looked up with a big smile.
“Hey you,” she said softly as she stood up and crossed over to the bed. “How do you feel?”
“Shit,” he grumbled.
She snorted. “I bet. Let me just poke at you for a few minutes and then you can go back to sleep.”
“Mmkay...”
Tina pulled back the blanket and, as promised, prodded at the edges of the gauze. He hissed as she hit a tender spot and she immediately removed her hand.
“Sorry, I know it hurts. Okay, looks like the bleeding stopped, so we don’t have to change everything out yet. It’s been... about eight hours, so I can give you more painkillers at least.”
He groaned. “I was out that long? Jesus.”
“Yeah, well, nearly dying is exhausting.”
“... How close was it?” he mumbled.
Tina frowned as she fixed the blanket back over him. “A bit scary for a minute there. If Ada wasn’t here to scan you or the meds you’re on now we wouldn’t have known what to do.”
“Where’s Nines?”
She went quiet, just like Chris had earlier. Shit. What the fuck had happened?
“He went after the assholes who attacked us,” she finally admitted. “He didn’t want them following us back or trying to finish the job.”
“He’s alone...?”
“He’s been in touch with Ada, but... Yeah. Chris tried to get him to come with us but we didn’t have time. We had to get you back here.”
He wouldn’t go home with them. He chose to go fuck up some dickheads instead of staying with Gavin. If something had gone wrong or Ada was still out on patrol, he... he would have... and Nines wouldn’t have been there...
“Hey, breathe with me. In, and out. He was just trying to keep us safe so we could get you here. You can yell at him when he’s back.”
“He wasn’t here,” he mumbled.
“I know.”
His head was starting to feel heavy again. Tina laid the back of her hand on his forehead with another frown.
“You’re pretty warm, Ada should probably come scan you real quick,” she said, more to herself than to him. “Try and get some more sleep. I’ll wake you up again when we hear from Nines, deal?”
“Deal.”
He let his eyes close again.
“Ada - can you come here for a sec?”
“Is he awake?”
“He was for a few minutes, he’s going back out again now though from the meds.”
“How much did you tell him?”
“All of it. I’m not hiding it from him.”
A sigh. “Alright.”
The bed sank beside him and a much firmer hand touched his forehead, but he couldn’t open his eyes back up. He could hear Tina shuffling around the room - he knew the sound of her boots anywhere - and some of the tightness in his chest loosened again.
“Hm, his temperature is a little high. We have some antibiotics downstairs if we need them.”
“You think it’s infected?”
“It’s possible, unless you trust some idiots attacking strangers in an alley to take care of their weapons.”
He could almost hear Tina smiling as she teased Ada. “You did.”
“... Hm. Fair.” The hand gently brushed his hair back. “I’ll keep an eye on him. Go get some sleep, Valerie’s waiting for you.”
“Yeah, okay. Just, I told him we’d let him know if we heard from Nines again, so...”
“Understood. I will.”
“Thank you.”
He faded back out.
“How is he?”
“He’s fine.”
“Can I see him?”
“When he wakes up.”
“Tina-”
“He knows where you’ve been, it’s up to him if he wants you there, I’m not making that choice for him when he’s unconscious.”
“... I just need to see him. I won’t stay.”
“Just let him look in real quick, can’t hurt if he’s not even awake.”
“Fine.”
Nines was there.
Nines came back.
Gavin turned his head towards the door. His head felt... a little less full of bricks, so it wasn’t as much of a struggle this time.
Nines stood in the doorway, arms dangling at his sides, his LED bright red.
“Gavin?” he called out quietly. His voice was shaking, and he took a step forward before immediately backing up again.
“C’mere,” Gavin mumbled.
Nines looked back out into the hallway, presumably at Tina and Chris, before slowly entering the room. Very, very cautiously, he sat on the bed on the side opposite Gavin’s injury, twisting around to face him without jostling him too much.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
Gavin huffed. “I know. As soon as I’m not so fuckin’ tired I’ll be mad at you about it.”
“I shouldn’t have left.”
“Nope.”
“I... I shouldn’t have let my anger get in the way of taking care of you.”
“Don’t need to be taken care of,” he grumbled.
Nines smiled and brushed Gavin’s hair from his forehead. It felt so much different than everyone else who had done it in the past however-many-hours. Everything with Nines was different.
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t here when you needed me,” Nines repeated, letting his hand rest on Gavin’s cheek. “I’m not going anywhere unless you... want me to leave.”
A surge of panic closed up his throat. He swallowed hard. “Stay. Please.”
“Of course. Always.”
The tears that had been building since arriving back at the house finally forced themselves up and he choked on a sob. Nines hushed him, bending down to plant kisses all over his face and the hand Gavin reached up to touch him with. He couldn’t quite curl up in a ball in his boyfriend’s lap, but this was good enough.
“Did you kill ‘em?” he asked, trying and failing to scrub at his eyes when his hand missed entirely.
Nines was quiet for a long moment before just softly saying, “Yes.”
“Good. Fuckin’ assholes. I hate crying.”
Nines muffled his laugh into his sleeve before kissing Gavin’s forehead again. “You are impossible.”
“Love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“And... there. Last step.”
Gavin huffed, gripping the shitty railing of the shitty staircase so hard his entire goddamn hand was turning white. “Holy shit...”
“Good. Now let’s hope you can get back up them later.”
“Bold of you to assume I’m ever going back upstairs.”
“I’m not bringing the bed down here.”
“Asshole.”
Gavin sank into the couch, wincing when he twisted and pulled at the medical tape on his hip. His side hurt like hell and god it felt weird moving around this much after spending most of the past few weeks either lying in bed or just wandering around the second floor of the house.
The house was quiet for once. Ada and North were on patrol around the property. Tina and Valerie went out to try and get some time alone. Chris and his wife Kate took Damien out to the greenhouse. Connor was upstairs with Six helping him through some social skills worksheets Valerie found in a school the last time she was in the city.
“I’ll make lunch in a little while,” Nines offered as he sat down gracefully beside him. “Chris is hoping some of the tomatoes will be ready.”
“He’s been saying that for two weeks, don’t hold your breath.”
“I don’t need to breathe.”
Gavin elbowed him, barely even flinching when he hit solid plastic. “You know what I meant. Asshole.”
Nines took the opportunity to wrap his arm around Gavin’s back and rest his head on his shoulder. He pressed one kiss right under Gavin’s jaw, and Gavin could feel him smiling. “You love me.”
“Yeah, yeah. I love you too.”