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Grantaire will swear until his last day that it started as an ironic thing. He stumbled upon “All I Do Is Think About You” on Youtube one day and now all he can listen to are catchy, of-questionable-quality songs about longing for love and heartbreak.
It wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t know that if any of his friends found out about his musical tastes, he would never hear the end of it. Ever. Especially if Courfeyrac found out. Grantaire has had nightmares about it.
So that’s why, when he gets home, he makes sure his door is locked and that none of his friends have texted him. When Grantaire is sure that no one will interrupt him, he opens his laptop (password protected, he’s not a total dumbass) and pulls up iTunes. “Be My Baby” has the most hits in his library.
Today had been shit, absolute, utter shit and all he wants to do was crawl under a pile of blankets and listen to his crappy girl groups, so when Grantaire presses play, he feels no shame.
About halfway through a bottle of rum and a playlist titled “super manly songs about being a man” (he’ll admit that maybe he’s overdoing it a bit), Grantaire hears a knock on his door. Then he hears the door being unlocked and, shit, he forgot he gave Jehan a key for emergencies. He tries in vain to pause the music but he is way too drunk to function properly at this point.
“Grantaire, I called you, like, six times and –wait, what are you listening to?” Jehan sounds entirely too smug at that last sentence for Grantaire’s taste, and Grantaire is the King of Being Entirely Too Smug (it’s an official title, given to him by Courfeyrac).
Jehan plops down on the couch next to him and grins. “I didn’t know you liked the Ronettes,”
“I have no idea what you are talking about, Jehan,” Grantaire enunciates. Denial is the way to go, he decides. Also, Grantaire refuses to be patronized by someone wearing –oh god is that leopard print?
Jehan’s shit-eating grin just gets bigger. “I mean this is a good song and all, but I like ‘Walking In The Rain’ better, you know?” Jehan says.
Grantaire squints. “Are you making fun of me?”
“Why, Grantaire, I would never!” Jehan exclaims. Grantaire is still suspicious.
Jehan snatches the bottle away from Grantaire and looks at the playlist still open on Grantaire’s laptop. The song’s switched to ‘Sunshine, Lollipops And Rainbows.’ “I love this song,” Jehan giggles before taking a swig of rum. Grantaire looks over at his friend and stands up.
“What are you doing?” Jehan asks.
“C’mon, get up,” Grantaire smiles.
When Jehan gets to their feet, Grantaire puts his arm around Jehan’s waist and offers his other hand for Jehan to take. Jehan grins and puts one hand in Grantaire’s and the other on his shoulder. Grantaire starts to swinging them around the room to the music and Jehan tips their head back and laughs.
This is all going very nicely until Jehan stumbles over Grantaire’s coffee table and sends them both tumbling onto the floor. Jehan lands on top of Grantaire, and Grantaire gets a mouthful of dark hair.
“Graceful,” Grantaire mutters as he pull a strand of hair out of his mouth. Grody.
“Oh, shut up, you,” Jehan laughs. Their face is red though, so Grantaire knows they’re embarrassed.
“That’s what you get for barging in here and making fun of my music taste, asshole,” Grantaire says, but there’s no bite in his voice. The two of them lie on the floor for a few more songs, passing the rum back and forth and occasionally singing along with the music.
For a few minutes, the world is a nice place to be in. Then Grantaire starts crying.
Jehan doesn’t hear him at first, they’re too busy humming along to ‘Mashed Potato Time,’ but a loud whimper comes from the boy on their left makes them sit up and look at Grantaire.
“You okay, sweet pea?” they ask quietly.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” Grantaire tries to lie at first, but the mix of rum and Jehan’s comforting look make him unable to hold back the truth anymore.
“Actually, no. No, I’m not okay. Today has been shitty and stressful and I can’t wait for it to be over.” Jehan’s a little taken back by Grantaire’s honesty. Usually, he pretends everything’s a-okay, even when it’s clear he’s upset. But they recover from their surprise quickly, and focus intently on listening to the rest of what Grantaire has to say.
“I mean, it wasn’t completely awful. No one died, or got mortally injured or whatever. There was just, just a lot to do and I had to skip lunch today because I needed to catch up on all this schoolwork that I should have done ages ago but I put it off because I’m a piece of shit or something, oh don’t give me that look it’s true, Jehan, and then to top it all off, my dad called to remind me what a waste of space I am and I’m sorry for crying, I’m sorry I don’t know why─” Grantaire stops abruptly here because he’s started crying again.
Oh God, I look pathetic, Grantaire thinks, they probably hate me now. Grantaire was sobbing now, and hating himself for it, but he couldn’t stop.
Jehan reaches over to stroke Grantaire lightly on the back. They don’t say anything until Grantaire’s sobs are reduced to light sniffles. They continue to rub their warm hand over Grantaire’s back as they say “Look, R, I know I can’t convince that you’re amazing, but I want you to know how much all your friends love you, okay? Like, it’s a little how ridiculous how much we love you. Even when you think we hate you ‘cause you’re having a shit day. Especially then. You don’t have to apologize for not being happy all the time, baby doll. Your dad’s a dick, okay, but you’re surrounded by people who would move the mountains for you,” Jehan finishes their little speech by kissing Grantaire on the forehead to prove their point.
Grantaire stays quiet for a little bit, not crying now and breathing steadily. Then he gets up and wraps Jehan up in his arms. “Thank you so much, Jehan. I mean, thank you,” Grantaire whispers as he puts his head on Jehan’s shoulder. Jehan laughs.
“No problem, honey.”
Then Grantaire’s playlist switches to Leslie Gore’s ‘It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To’ and they both break out the hug and land on opposite sides of the floor because they’re laughing too hard.
When their laughing fit calms down enough for them to speak, Jehan thanks Grantaire for the rum and Grantaire thanks Jehan for the company. Jehan’s almost out the door before they hear Grantaire quietly calling their name.
“Yeah?” Jehan replies, worried that Grantaire’s upset again.
“You’re not gonna…gonna tell anyone about the, uh, the music, are you?” Grantaire looks so uncertain that Jehan has to bite back a laugh.
They walk back over to Grantaire, give him a swift kiss on the cheek, and promise not to tell a soul. “I’ll tell them you listen to something really hardcore, like Fall Out Boy,” Jehan jokes.
Grantaire’s smile lasts long after Jehan goes home.