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This is a royal pain in the ass.
He finally stepped foot out of his inn room late morning, not known to others how long he'd been awake for already. The previous day, Vicious cracked open a new crate full of booze in celebration of their journey being at another crossroads.
It's goddamn incredible he didn't get slammed with an ugly hangover. His head, muscles, and stomach are in a buzzed state, but it would be nothing once he finds something for morning scraps.
He decides to get into the crate once more, opening the lid that feels more loose than he remembers leaving it.
Several bottles are gone.
No, his intuition is too sharp to let himself believe he simply miscounted how many he drank last night. He knew immediately once he saw it.
Something catches his eye across the room and when he went to inspect it, their stash bag was open with a small portion of their gald missing.
"...damn, I get it if those kids wanted their share of fun, but seriously?" Vicious grumbles with an uncaring raspy sigh, his forehead scrunched up at the jabbing buzzing in his skull.
He forces himself to go check in with the innkeeper.
"—ah, hm, ah yes actually... I recall a young lad looking dazed who left here with a young lass..."
...this is a real damn pain in the ass now.
He should have known it wouldn't be that easy.
Every person's strong resolve always left behind cracks, allowing for the repressed inner demons to slip back through and loom hauntingly with their wicked dance.
Of course, it would be too fairy tale-esque for the righteous ray of light to awash the dark thoughts away that once gripped his heart too closely, depriving him of willingness to even live.
Aegis could never forget. How could he ever forget?
"...hnn..." he squints at the piercing sunlight seeping through the room's window. Groaning weakly, he shifts his limp arm over his eyes to block out the annoying sight from penetrating his exhausted, dazed brain.
...had he taken to numbing his pain too far?
He props up his knees, laying still on his back with his head on the pillow that feels as hard as a rock, and rests his warm, clammy hand on his bothered stomach.
Images of the bloodied, dying queen lurching from the void flicker through his mind and it jumpstarts his strained breathing. The heavy anchor in his stomach sinks lower, dragging down the rusted chains from his lungs, festering with his scar wound inside his chest.
Then the faces of his parents’ blurry disappointed faces linger behind his closed eyelids.
How can justice be this twisted…? Even now—even now, it has not quite fully sunk in yet that he is now among the walking beings he swore to vanquish.
His mind dances tirelessly in circles of ‘I should have’ s and ‘what if’ s, his regrets laughing haughtily at his tormented state of being transgressor scum—one of them . How he should have grabbed the queen and ran, how he should have tried saving her, how he should have at least serviced her final wishes whether or not he loved her—all these returning painful thoughts fester and tears at his heart.
Opening his bloodshot eyes to the sinful world, Aegis’ sight rolls to the side to scan the room and settles upon three empty bottles on the windowsill.
—...He hasn’t drunk enough to drown it out.
It used to be interesting to read the travel brochures found at local inns in any town he visited, absorbing the information of different cuisine choosings and culture trivia of the land.
He couldn’t find any enjoyment now when he attempted to, the recent events all too fresh in his mind to leave him alone for even a moment’s peace.
Damn that Vicious , the mental cussing dashes across his mind so faintly he almost thinks he barely thought it. If it was not for Vicious’ twisted antics some days ago on getting Aegis to rebel against drinking alcohol then falling into the trap by objecting to his self-righteousness and boy-knighthood claims into drinking to prove a point...
That moment of weakness had been the foothold for his inner demons to latch onto, pleasuring the bitter taste—and Aegis was surprised how much it dulled his senses enough for a sleepless night. He hasn’t had a crash like that in a long while.
Pathetic.
Now he feels even worse for turning to steal a sinner’s—the Great Transgressor’s, no less!—booze to fulfill his own filthy desires to get away.
Perhaps he did deserve to be condemned after all?
His mother’s hurt, distressed expression coupled with his father’s solemn, unreadable face reappear in his mind again—and again—and again, again —and he snaps his eyes shut, trying not to think about it anymore—how they must think of him now after going through all they did to raise him proper and paying for his tuition with their hard-earned living.
How can this foolish knight bring himself to face them ever again—?
Eyes wet, stinging, he attempts to try sleeping once more.
Kanata lets out a loud yawn, having been up far too early this morning.
“Kanata, carry the boar back to the kitchen.”
He stares at her in his tired stupor, then at the huge dead beast, then back at her.
“What?! But, Misella, that takes a grown man’s strength to carry that big boar!” His muscles are much too limp noodly and worn out to reasonably haggle it all the way back to the inn from the woods.
“Is that coward’s talk I just heard? My own nimble arms can hoist it all the way even.”
“Ah…”
With their squabbling halfway back to the inn, it made it easier for Vicious to find them.
“You must be joking. You ran off plastered and went to hunt like monkeys, eh?”
“V-V-Vicious, what are you talking about?! We—did no such thing!” Now Kanata didn’t feel like yawning every five minutes anymore… the appalled expression clear as day on his face.
“Are you accusing Kanata of underage drinking, you booze-loving criminal?” Misella deadpans with an unamused expression, appearing to unleash the flames of scorching hell any moment.
“Y-yeah! We aren’t even twenty yet to drink! Nor do I want to!”
“Oh? Then that only leaves us one option. Hurmph… I should have known.”
“Aegis? But he wouldn’t…” Kanata looks surprised, thoughts of denial racing through his mind, then he pulls his lips into a thin line. “Oh yeah, by the way… I got this in the market for him…”
The door creaks open, his ears barely register the crude footsteps.
"You really ought to rest on your side. Unless you want to drown in your putrid bile in your sleep."
"Vicious...?!" Snapping his eyes open, his face instantly flushes red from embarrassment that even the tips of his ears match in color.
“The hell did you do, get run over by a train car?” the remark rings in his head, shame floating up fast on how disgraceful he must look. He casts his sullen gaze aside to the wall, still not having recovered nor having moved past what happened.
“Here, the kid’s made this for Sir Knight Seducer,” Vicious says nonchalantly. Aegis drifts his sight back over to glance at the plate put by his bedside.
“...really?” Not at all pleased with that nickname he’s calling him. It’s moments like these where he can’t tell if this criminal is being helpful or not.
Probably not intentionally.
Frankly, he doesn’t have much of an appetite to eat but thinks better of it, as he hasn’t eaten since supper the day before. At this rate, he’s already skipped breakfast.
It was a forced reckoning to get the sandwich down in bites, the tightness in his stomach feeling lighter the more Aegis forced himself to chow it down slowly.
“I should have suspected it was you.” Vicious slumps down on the chair, arms folded over his knees and he holds his gaze up.
He swallows the lump in his throat. “...so that’s how it is?” Aegis says in a soft, restrained voice. It isn’t exactly a question. Lamentable, truly, if that’s how his reputation turned out this way.
Vicious gives a shrug with one shoulder, laughter dancing upon his crooked lips. "What's the fun in it if I don't twist your shitty boy-knight's pride?"
"—This is absolutely not funny!"
There’s a sharp, short crackle of laughter from Vicious at how defensive Aegis got.
“Ah, Aegis! You really have been getting intoxicated…!” Kanata stumbles over his feet, rushing into the room to check on Aegis’ state.
“Am I just a spectacle?” There’s a mix of being flabbergasted and an increase of being defensive.
“No, we’re worried over you, Aegis. I thought you would never do this…”
There’s something endearing about Kanata’s puppy eyes. Vicious finds himself charmed by it, yet it seems to have no effect on the moping knight at all.
“Got addicted, huh?” What a thing for the greatest criminal to casually say, as if he just asked about the weather.
He’s quiet, no rebuttal or anger. Just the look of defeat.
“...it was the only escape I knew. I…” he casts his eyes down at his empty hands. “I had no idea how strong of a subdued effect it could have. Is this why you pleasure yourself in it, Great Transgressor?”
“Oh? Nah. I enjoy it because I just do. Just like eating and seeing violence.”
...did they expect any different?
“Then, try something you love,” Kanata says with a softened gaze and a gentle smile. The gesture quells the tormenting thoughts for the moment.
“...something I… love?” The soft confusion in his voice is almost adorable. Aegis lifts his gaze, his head now lighter.
The smile spreads more into a boyish grin.
“Yeah! We saw how much you’ve been hurting and I knew how much you liked reading, so Misella and I tried looking for a pocket novel you’d be happy with! ...a-and don’t tell me you’ve already read it! Just read it, okay?” Sparks of determination radiates in Kanata’s youthful eyes, and before Aegis knew it, there is a thick, small book being jabbed in his way.
“It’s a mecha novel from another franchise about a knight who gets abandoned by his legion and…” the words fade to his hearing as he focuses on the drawn cover of the hardcover book. His stare lingers on it, thinking to himself how strange this whole situation is for him.
To see a boy act like a typical kid who insists on acting like a gentleman protector. To see a girl act like a typical young woman who feasts upon her desired diet that knew no bounds. To see a criminal act like a casual wanderer who embraced whatever he pleasured in. So much for being a haughty band of fire-ablazing, gald-stealing thieves or being stabbing-happy murderers he went out to eradicate, only to get tossed into the same merry band of misfits.
But, that should not make their sentiment any less valued.
“...I do not know if I could put my mind to reading leisurely again,” he starts, then pauses. Kanata’s expression falters for a quick moment, but before the boy could respond, Aegis continues, “I did proclaim I would take justice into the matters of my own hands. The scars I was left behind with are deep and not yet healed halfway, they will not leave me.”
“We’re in the same boat as you, Aegis. Well… I don’t know about Vicious, he seems like a totally different type, but I mean it when I say we are!”
If Vicious said anything in the background, Aegis didn’t catch it. He transfixes his gaze on Kanata then at Vicious who looks too damn smug sitting in the chair watching him.
“Best check on her before the kitchen burns down,” he throws his head to the side with a grin, his eyes flicking over to the side away from Aegis to Kanata.
“Ah, right! Misella! A burned meal wouldn’t be good!” He hands the book over, then quickly clamours out of the room and disappears down the small hallway.
Then they’re alone again.
When Aegis looks, a pair of amused eyes stare back at him coupled with a twinge of a smirk tugging at his mouth.
“What?”
“Only that many is enough to kick you down, huh?”
“I downed it slowly, responsibility! I will not be doing that again.”
“Or what? Fearing you’d end up in some lady’s bed?”
“—what? Of course not!”
“Oh? Then, you’d prefer to end up in a man’s?”
“How did this conversation go this way?!”
There’s a chortle of laughter and Aegis tears his attention away from his complacent face. He shifts his focus to the texture of the book’s cover, feeling the decently fine artwork for such a cheap novel. Splitting the book open, he feels the slippery, thin pages through his fingers and the familiar aroma of a fresh book…
Ah, yes… books of all kinds of published quality have a certain pleasing smell. He sticks his nose in and closes his eyes, his mind purifying of raucous thoughts like a meditation session.
“Book’s so trash you’re using it as a handkerchief for your nose?” The sudden closeness of the voice startles him, whipping his head and his face smacks into Vicious’ bare abdomen.
The shrieking could be heard from outside of the room.
“What are you doing—?!” On reflex, his hands dart up to push him away from invading into his personal space.
“Whoa—damn, don’t be so hasty, royal-playboy.” Vicious withdraws in a swift motion, the bottles clankling in his hands as he took them from the windowsill next to the bed.
Embarrassed on where his hands ended up, he retracts them as quickly as possible.
“That is not it!”
“Your bed’s not big enough for two, anyway.” Vicious strides off to the door.
Aegis draws his weapon and rises from the bed, his face flushing with anger.
“I said that is so not it—! Vicious, don’t you get away from me! We are going to settle it right here and now!”