Work Text:
There is a stillness in the home, the depths of the night still lingering as the cicadas’ wane loudly in the distance. This was the only segment of time excluding school hours where Shigure had some peace and quiet without the rat and cat having some type of quarrel that ended in damaged property.
A familiar throb pulses from his temples crawling towards the center of his forehead. Grey eyes bore on the blank pages of what should had been the next few chapters of his novel. He already introduced one of the main characters along with side characters, developing them slowly before he introduced the female lead.
Everything was going smoothly until he attempted to write the new character. He wanted to create something different than before, wanting to dive into a profession that is different than the other female leads he created. All of the females he wrote about were shy, quiet, demure, all the qualities that are attractive to a Japanese man.
But he wanted something different this time. A woman to be confident, strong, probably bold in her own way. When those traits popped into his head, there were a few professions that appeared. One in particular he manifested excitement.
Having a geisha as a female love interest would definitely create interest seeing as it is still a profession today and there is still a curiosity to them. He is aware that most believe that geishas were prostitutes in the past, but that was simply not true. Yes, there were some that engaged in such activities, but it was far more complex than that.
To have a female professional entertainer woo the male lead in the most intimate setting could easily cause sexual tension and longing that can be drawn out. The problem was he knew nothing about the profession.
As much as he researched there were no concrete detailing on geishas and when he realized that he was in a slump, he groaned in frustration. As morning came and gone, slowly transitioning to the afternoon, the writer slumps against Ayame’s table as he complains about how difficult it is.
The silver haired snake leans towards his cousin nearly pouting if he considered writing the geisha with more flair; drawing inspiration through him and have Shigure as the male lead being seduced. Ayame was more than willing to dress in the clothing to be Shigure’s muse.
As much as Shigure appreciated it; both sharing loving words in each other’s embrace. Mine walks in to see the interaction between the two, never phased at their theatrics before sharing, “Why don’t I introduce you to one of our clients? She is in the process of becoming a geisha herself.”
Ayame, the ever-flamboyant man, spins out of Shigure’s embrace, eyes sparkling as he remembers the woman that frequents his shop. “Ah yes I forgot about her!” Pivoting his heel towards Shigure he smiles gleefully, “Oh you will adore her! She is like a lotus that is about to bloom, and I wait in anticipation to see her finally blossom. She is a once in a lifetime customer that I relish whenever she is near.”
The novelist blinks somewhat innocently as he listens to the designer stating that you were his dream client. Nothing, but positive reviews from Ayame and his assistant.
So, when he received your information, he did not know what to think and when he stepped onto the property. Your voice remains in his head when he called you a few days earlier, the soothing deep tone of your voice that holds an elegance that intrigues him. There is a huskiness laced in your voice gives him the impression that you possibly are under the weather. When he simply reassures you that you can reschedule, there is a hint of laughter in your voice when you say that you are perfectly fine.
Shigure did not know what to think of it, wondering why you would even confirm scheduling a meeting with him when clearly you are ill. It only takes a moment to spot a woman standing near the entrance. The first thing that catches his eye is her figure. There is a plumpness that he did not expect and with the polka dot dress she wore.
Everything about her is odd.
Nothing resonated with him as he sees an ordinary woman that is beyond plain. Her face was peculiar, angular with no softness of femininity and for one moment he spots the jagged scar that runs from the side of her mouth crawling up to mid cheek. The raised skin that is on the soft plain of your cheek nearly creases when the lips of the woman lift.
“Are you Sohma-san?”
That familiar voice rings in his ears, striking him instantly knowing that the woman that he sees before him is the same woman that he spoke to on the phone. Instantly, he forces a friendly smile as he greets you with kindness.
“Yes, I am. It’s nice to see the lovely voice that matches the beauty that I envisioned.” When he spoke, his calculated eyes see the tension on your lips as your smile remained. Clearly, you are uncomfortable or did not believe him. Either way, he needed this in order for his book to go well and if he had to pretend to woo you in order to gather the information that he needed then so be it.
“My apologies for having you come out here for the interview. I wanted a quaint spot to comfortably discuss whatever you wanted to hear. Please come inside, I set up a room and tea so we can begin.” Your back remains straight as you slide the door open for him to enter, you bow slightly before following him inside.
Shigure follows you, analyzing every inch of you seeing that there is some elegance in the way you walked. He assumed that can be a possible positive point in your favor despite your underwhelming appearance. Honestly, he thought he would be a beautiful woman that can be compared to as a lotus or rose like Ayame stated, but what he received was a woman that can be compared to as a dandelion. Taking you in further, he sees that you are average, nothing that will be seared into his brain like previous beauties had before.
A weed that can demolish a beautiful garden, conquering everything in its path. That is what he saw in you. As he sits across from you, he simply sees that you are indeed a woman with a gentleness that made his skin crawl.
Everything was not out of your own benefit; you did things to please others. Possibly because you cannot offer anything other than your servitude. As you share stories of your process of becoming a geisha, you answer questions with some elusiveness. He understood that you cannot share everything with him considering the sacredness of the ways of the profession.
As months went by, interviewing you on your days off. Each meeting was in a different location stating that it gives a certain freshness to the mind. Gathering that was odd, he didn’t say much as he collected further information such as how difficult it is to become a geisha, how it takes years of dedication and depending on the era usually girls would start at the tender age of fourteen.
You flooded him with information. He had so much that he came naturally when he started to fill the pages of the newfound character without a single roadblock. Pride swells in him as he is aware of the time crunch, he was on considering that Mitsuru always called him to demand the next several chapters of his book.
Now that he was done evading her, he plopped the manila folder into her shaky hands as tears of frustration rolled down her cheeks as she sobbed how cruel he was. It didn’t take long for Shigure to receive a phone call from his editor, a quiet sob which is unusual from her since everything that came out of her was with vigor.
“Sohma-san…what you wrote—I loved it. It was so real. I mean the love that is being developed between Minoru and Hina. How cruel his thoughts were in the beginning to how he slowly started to fall for her. When he realized that she wasn’t a dandelion, but a camellia; seeing how her gentle heart broke through his walls…I can go on forever. Can’t believe you can write something this honest, usually your romance is just smut, but this—”
His body freezes as his mind goes blank. What does she mean by that? Hearing her repeat phrases from his draft made him realize some repetition of some thoughts that crossed his mind when it came to you. it’s true that writers create from experience, but did he really base everything off of you? Writing about your meetings between one another that slowly started to tear down those walls?
No, you were still someone that he did not see as a woman. Everything about you is not what he wants. Who he wants is Akito, but clearly that bridge has been burned and there is no way to reach the other side without failing?
A large lump wedge itself in his throat as frustration embeds into his heart, squeezing while his stubbornness is refusing to admit that he wrote about you and him. How he was seeing you in a different light. How even if you saw the darkness within him, you still smiled and showed him kindness that only his cousins deserved.
He was a wretched man. A man with a black heart that held no remorse using everyone around him in order to obtain what he wants. He is selfish and loyal to Akito by default. His canine instincts have him chained to his master, his god and he cannot stray even if she abandoned him. The bitterness that came with that still remains in his heart.
He deserves to be alone. He won’t go near you. Shigure doesn’t want to and he easily sets you aside his heart.
Two years. It has been two years since the curse has been broken and though the darkness that lifted somewhat off his heart, there is still an emptiness inside of him. Everyone around him filled with happiness as he sits in the abyss, grappling for something to hold steady to, but no avail. He continuously is free falling with no ending in sight.
As the cherry blossoms bloomed, spring in the air. He walks pass a coffee shop when a familiar face seems to stop him in his tracks. Turning his head in that direction, he sees camellias perched in a vase on the table in a beautiful shade of cotton candy pink. For some reason it reminds him of you. The sweetness in your voice as you shared words of wisdom and adoration towards him. Each petal signified every part of your body and soul that holds beauty. Truly, over the years he sees that you are sincerely one of the most beautiful women he met and let go. Simply because he knows that you deserve better.
He was aware that your feelings developed for him as your gaze over the course of months became softer. Your gaze averted in small increments and that one moment of watching you lean into him with no caution. You embraced every part of him, and he hated you for it. For someone like you to accept him for who he was—no he needed to be alone.
Shifting his eyes, he sees you. Sitting with poise as you flip through the book that you have in your hands.
His eyes follow, nearly leaning back to catch the red smoky color of the cover and the bold gold letters of the title, Tsubaki. To Shigure it was ironic to see you holding the book that paralleled you and him with the characters in the book. Seeing you give him a sense of relief until your eyes met his. He sees that you have changed so much over the last couple of years that he had seen you.
Your hair longer than before, more vibrant in color and your eyes still make his knees weak. The jagged scar on your cheek looks softer remembering the horror story that went with it. He remembers his fingertips running along the scar, giving the tenderness you deserve as tears cascade down your face.
It all comes crumbling down when he sees that your eyes hint with confusion before settling with surprise as you lower the book to the table.
He purses his lips as he couldn’t gather the courage to enter the shop. The glass window being enough of a barrier between you two. To his shock, the smile that sends his heart racing pumps again as the same sweetness that you held two years earlier is met again.
His eyes followed you as you gathered your things and headed out the door. Now only a few feet away, he nearly steps back as you mutter his name, “Shigure-san.” Formalities thrown out the window near the end of the interview process, he still remembers how his heart pounded when he heard his name come from your lips the first time.
The same voice that he would remember when he was alone or when he was buried inside a woman. Now having you standing there before him, he remembers everything so vividly. The warmth he felt and everything that surrounded you that he buried so far into his mind that he suppressed mostly everything about you in order to protect himself.
There was something about this time when he knew it could be different. If he decided to change his mind and pursue happiness with someone other than the woman that caused chaos in his life. He can be happy like everyone else.
The thing is, does he want to be happy?
As he looks into your eyes, he can feel his body say yes. He wants that and for the first time in years he decides to take that step.