Perytons and soup

1

Amity woke to the sound of rain plunking on the window sill. She blinked up at the ceiling of the four poster bed. She let out a sigh, then turned her head to look at the time. Her eyes fell upon the armchair. Lilith was sitting in it fast asleep, her head leaning against one of the wings.  

...It was real? Amity wondered in barely-awake amazement. She remembered being held for a long time. There had been soft words and reassuring touches. And warmth. And... safety. Looking at her mentor now, in the early morning light, she couldn’t quite believe it. But she was here... It must have really happened. She wanted it to have happened.

I sat in her lap... She stroked my hair... She hugged me... As she thought, she unconsciously gathered the duvet in her arms and hugged it to her chest. She stayed... she kept watch over me... She felt so... touched. So honored, so astonished, so pleased, so special, so exposed, so protected, so anxious, so grateful. She smiled into the gathered duvet, her chest full of warmth and some kind of lovely tingly feeling. She didn’t feel tense anywhere - every part of her was just soft and relaxed. This moment was a bright little pink bubble, shining in her mind. She wanted to remain in the light feeling for as long as she possibly could. It was so precious. So wonderful.

She found me and she stayed ...

2

“Hey, wake up.”

“Whzzn - ugh - “ Eda snorted and tried to swat away whatever was poking her cheek. Something warm was in her arms, which was very nice, but most of her was stiff and cold, which was not nice at all.

“I’m hungry! Bap!” King prodded Eda again.

“King stop.”

“Feed me!”

“Too early, go bother Luz,” Eda mumbled, snuggling up to the warm thing.

“Okaay,” King said in a ‘that’s a weird thing to say’ voice. “Luz! I need waffles! Bap!”

“Uhuargh!” Luz awoke with a start. “Quepsa?” She blinked and looked at King blearily. She narrowed her puffy eyes and muttered: “Demonio pequeño gritando... // Tiny screaming demon...” then lay back on the pillow with a tired groan. “Déjame sola... Tengo cólicos... // Leave me alone... I have cramps...”

“But Eda said - ”

Eda raised her head to snap at King, then she understood where she was. She was cuddled up to Luz’s back with her arm around the kid’s middle. She wondered where her other arm was, then realized Luz was laying on it.

“Well this is adorable,” she muttered, then tried to sit up.

Luz made a mewling sound of protest and Eda paused, then lay back down. Luz exhaled, then shuffled closer. Eda huffed and smiled.

“Hello-o? Can we make breakfast happen?” King crossed his arms.

“You know what, why don’t you go get us some muffins and stuff. We’re gonna be a minute.”

“But I’m hungry no-o-ow!” King whined and stomped his foot.

“You can get donuts.”

“OKAY!” King scampered off, giggling.

Eda waited until she heard King running down the stairs before she spoke to Luz.

“How we doing this morning?”

“Shh... can’t you be warmer?” Luz mumbled, sounding adorably grumpy.

Eda chuckled then drew a few unsteady spell circles in the air. After a few seconds, Luz let out a long, relieved sigh.

“Mmmm...”

Eda thought a moment about trying to get up again. But then she would have to do stuff.

“Eh.” She waved a finger and closed her eyes, then smiled as the blanket settled over them.

3

The sound of a closing door made Lilith lift her head.

“Oh...” she let out a hard groan and grimaced; the pain... was astounding. She felt like a statue covered in snow; stiff, angular, as flexible as marble and most of all: cold. It all welled up her like an icy-hot wave - every part of her was sending emergency signals to her brain. It was overwhelming, but she knew it would pass.

She looked around the room, panting as she waited for everything to settle. Anything to distract her from the symphony of aches.

The bed was empty. The bathroom door was closed. The sunlight on the wall was quite high - it must be late morning. She couldn’t see the clock from where she was sitting.

When the agony settled to a discordant drone she dared to move slightly. It helped with the stiffness, but the pain grew louder. Bit by bit, she managed to sit up and put her feet on the ground. She really, really, really wanted a bath. She knew she would never make it to the master bathroom like this - the potion - had she put it back? Or was it still - she patted her pocket gingerly and exhaled sharply in relief. She took a drop of potion and ran her tongue over her gums and the roof of her mouth, hoping to make it work faster. The smell of it gave her some relief - eventually the pain would be less. Much, much less. It would never be truly gone, but it would be far away and mildly annoying, not ear-splittingly loud and about as polite and subtle as a stinky brick thrown through a sitting room window.

The door opened and Amity exited the bathroom.

“Oh, good morning,” she said when she saw Lilith sitting up.

“Good morni-ing,” Lilith managed. Her voice was hoarse and tense. She saw Amity’s face grow worried as the girl hurried closer. She wanted to say that she was alright, but she knew neither of them would believe it. “I’m...” She tried to think of something to say that was somewhere in between ‘I’m alright’ and ‘I’m in a lot of pain’ but she ended up just tutting and hissing, then tried to smile at Amity.

“What... can I do?” the girl asked - she looked so worried - it made Lilith feel both very touched and slightly ashamed.

“Could you perhaps... run me a bath, please?”

Amity nodded promptly and ran off toward the bathroom.

“Four turns on the hot tap, two on the cold,” Lilith said a little louder. After a second she heard the rhythmic squeaks and smiled.

“Thank you, my dear,” she smiled up at Amity when the girl came back into the room. “Would you mind...?”

Amity helped Lilith to her feet. Lilith tried not to make sounds, but every joint, muscle and vertebrae that were engaged pinged, clicked, snapped wetly or crunched. She managed to squeeze all the groans together into one forceful exhale that made the air around her crackle. Amity looked up at her with eyes over-bright with concern.

Lilith took a few steadying breaths, then raised a hand to stroke Amity’s cheek. “Please don’t worry. I will be right as rain in a few minutes.”

Amity gave her an apprehensive smile in return. Lilith thought she could see a hint of guilt in there too. The girl glanced at the chair, then her gaze fell to the floor.

“Now, don’t you for one second feel bad about me sleeping in that chair,” Lilith gently lifted Amity’s chin, then raised her eyebrows and nodded toward the chair. “I wanted to stay. And I would do it again, my dear. In a heartbeat.”

Amity’s eyes widened a moment, then her face softened and her shoulders relaxed. “Okay...” she said quietly. Now she smiled in a cautiously hopeful way. Seeing that was worth at least half of the pain. Lilith smiled back and stroked Amity’s chin, much like she would her knuckles. The girl closed her eyes and exhaled gently.

Oh, you sweet child... Lilith thought.

“Can I get you something?” the girl asked when she had helped Lilith walk to the bathroom.

“There are... two scented oils standing on the rim of my other bathtub, could you fetch them please?”

The girl nodded, then hurried off. She returned after a minute, slightly out of breath.

“Thank you, my dear,” Lilith smiled warmly and took the bottles. “I will probably be in here a while. Go have breakfast if you get hungry.”

“I don’t mind waiting.”

The relief of sliding into the hot water was immense. The sigh that left Lilith came from the very depth of her being. The tension was banished and the pain within faded. The scent of the oils filled her nostrils and she breathed deeply, her mind relaxing as well as her body.

4

While Amity waited for Lilith to be done with her bath, she lay down in bed to read for a while. When she opened her book, the seven word note fell out. She picked it up, stared at it for a moment, then lifted her chin and crumpled it up.

She couldn’t really focus on reading. Her mind kept drifting back to the night. Instead she picked up the drawing she had started before going to sleep. That was easier to focus on. She drew until she heard the door to the bathroom open. A pleasant mix of smells filled the room.

They walked down to the kitchen together, still in their night clothes. Lilith had lent Amity a pair of slippers and a dressing gown that were a little too big for her, even though it had been taken from Lilith’s girlhood wardrobe. Amity had put it all on eagerly. Perhaps she had been a little cold, too, Lilith thought.

All Amity could think was that they were now wearing matching slippers.

“Is porridge fine? I’m afraid I don’t know how to make much else,” Lilith asked. “I think there might be some frozen bread - oh and the left overs from when Luz cooked. But maybe that’s more of a lunch meal.”

“Porridge is fine by me. Can I... help?”

“There really isn’t much to do,” Lilith smiled at her.

“I’d really like to learn how to cook things,” Amity said, blushing faintly.

“Then I am the wrong person to ask,” Lilith laughed gently and gave Amity a warm look.

Amity’s heart soared - she had made Lilith laugh. 

“You would have better luck with Luz or Eda.”

“Please?” Amity looked up at her mentor with a light, hopeful smile.

“Ah... alright,” Lilith smiled back. The expression on the girl’s face was so soft and genuine - it made Lilith’s heart sigh.

It took a little longer than usual, but eventually, there were two steaming bowls standing on the table. Amity felt immensely proud. Lilith had let her do all the measurements and stirring and things. She just had to follow Lilith’s instructions! And Amity was great at following instructions. It was another pink bubble moment.

“Would you like a cup of tea? Oh, and a hot water bottle?” Lilith looked at Amity worriedly.

“It’s... okay. I don’t think I’ll need them today.” Amity blushed again.

“Oh, good, I’m so glad.” Lilith stroked her shoulder before she took a seat.

And Lilith looked glad about it, Amity thought - not because it was a chore she could stop doing or thinking about, but because she was glad for Amity’s sake that she didn’t have to walk around with pain all day.

Three pink bubbles... 

5

While they ate breakfast, Lilith thought about what would be the best set up for getting on with some work. Would Amity prefer to sit in the library by herself? Well, the easiest way to find that out would just be to ask her, wouldn’t it.

“I was thinking I would get started on some work after breakfast. I usually work in my study. There’s the library if you want to study undisturbed, or you... could join me in the study, if you like.”

Amity swallowed a spoonful of porridge a little too quickly and had to cough a moment.

“You... don’t mind company while you work?” she asked, then cleared her throat. Amity’s mom and dad most certainly did mind company while they worked.

“No.”

“Then... I’d like to join you.” Amity said it slowly - because it felt a little forbidden to say aloud. She felt her face go very warm. She had imagined going to Lilith’s study more times than she’d like to admit to anyone.

6

Lilith set Amity up in one of the large armchairs and moved a little table in front of it so she’d have something to write on. Soon a fire crackled in the grate and faint birdsong could be heard through one of the open windows. At this time of day, the study was in shadow, so it was a little cold. Lilith found a shawl for herself and a blanket for Amity, to help them keep warm while the room heated up.

Lilith summoned her staff and let Sapphire into the garden after giving the palisman a jolly good scratch.

“She likes to chase bugs,” she said as explanation, then took a seat behind her desk.

Amity picked up a book, took a breath, then opened it and began to read. She got to the bottom of the page, then realized she hadn’t taken in a word. She started over at the top, then glanced over at her mentor.

Lilith was already hard at work. Her pencil swept over the papers, filling out forms, signing documents and writing whole letters in a matter of minutes. She let out the occasional sigh or tut - the emotions behind them seemed to range from tiredness to frustration. Amity’s ears twitched and she glanced at Lilith’s back every time her mentor made a sound.

She remembered being in her father’s study when she was small. She played on the rug in front of his desk while he worked. He had made sighs and tuts too. Amity had quickly learned to pay close attention to those sounds. When he made a ‘bad noise’ she knew she had to try to cheer him up. Sometimes it helped if she distracted her dad with a new word with her blocks, or an advanced structure - then he would bounce her on his knee and tell her she was a clever little Blight. Sometimes interrupting him made things worse and he would call loudly for someone to come take her away. Sometimes he would just pick her up and put her out in the hallway and close the door.

The family wound in her chest creaked.

Maybe it was a mistake to come to Lilith’s study, Amity thought as her heart sank. Maybe I should just go to the library instead.

She wished Luz was here. Everything was so much easier with Luz around. She remembered how her friend had leaned on her yesterday - how good it had felt to be able to be there for her in some small way. She looked down at the book in her lap. The amount of work she had in front of her felt suddenly overwhelming. She had never let her homework pile up like this before. She picked up a different book, then looked between the two. Which one was more important? And she had that essay for Mr Ott, and the work sheets for Miss Glurk - where should she even start?

Lilith suddenly cracking her fingers made Amity’s hair stand on end - had she been too loud? She glanced at her mentor -

Her dad’s angry face flashed across her mind. He raised his arm toward Ed - the door to his study slammed in her face. The noise was so sudden and so close it scared her three year old self enough to start crying.

Lilith cracked her last finger, shook her hand, then picked up her pen and went back to writing.

Amity shook her head, then rubbed her eyes and cheeks, trying to force the memories away.

Stop being so silly. You’re in her study. You’ve been wanting to come here for years! Don’t ruin it! Just pick something, she told herself angrily. Something easy to get you started. Worksheet. Do a worksheet. She picked up the one lying on top of her history book, then put it down in front of her and smoothed it out.

First question: When did the battle of Toadstool Bridge take place? 1346. She wrote it down. Easy, next. The act of firmly pinning down a fact made her feel better. Soon she found her groove.

Even though Amity had found her study rhythm, her mind kept skipping back to the events of the last week. It was very frustrating to be interrupted by the intrusive thoughts. She had enough intrusive thoughts already, she didn’t need any more. But these were more... intense.

After an hour or so, Lilith drew in a deep breath, then let out a satisfied sigh. She got to her feet, then turned to look at Amity.

“I’m going to take a little break and get a cup of coffee. Would you like something to drink? A little snack?”

“Oh, uh...” Amity looked uncertain. Children with liquids and or food were certainly not allowed in her parents’ studies.

This isn’t my parents’ place, she reminded herself. She wanted to say yes; she was thirsty.

“Yyyes?” She said it very slowly and carefully.

“What... would you like?” Lilith’s voice was soft.

“Water is fine.” If she spilled it, and she hoped to god that she wouldn’t, it would be the easiest thing to clean up.

Lilith nodded and gave Amity a warm smile, then headed out the door and down the corridor. Amity let out a breath and sagged slightly. If Lilith was taking a break, then maybe she could too. She took out her drawings and looked at them critically, then picked up her pen.

7

“Eeedaaah...” Luz groaned miserably.

“Mwfwhat?” Eda lifted her head from the pillow and opened one eye. “Wassamaddur, hm?”

“I gotta go to the bathrooom...”

“Huh? So goddoda bafrum,”

“But eh-everything hu-urts,” Luz’s voice was very high pitched. She drew in an unsteady breath and sniffed.

“Nyokay,” Eda sat up with a drawn out grunt. “Bathroom first?”

“Mhm!”

“Okay, up we get,” she held out her arms to Luz and tried to summon enough brain power to keep her eyes open. Luz was very pale when Eda finally got her upright.

“Ugh, oh no,” Luz drew in a breath, held it, then grimaced and shivered.

“Ah, yes, standing up in the morning and eeeverything just,” Eda made a dropping motion with her hand. “Let’s get this show on the road before you spring a leak.”

They made it to the bathroom and Luz hurried inside.

“Do your thing, then tell me what you need, alright?”

“Mhm, yup.”

Eda closed the door, then leaned on the wall and waited. She rubbed her temples and neck, trying to work some of the stiffness out.

“Could you get me my bag and some clothes?” Luz said after a minute.

“Comin’ right up.”

Luz opened the door and took the pile. She looked miserable.

“Take your last pill,” Eda said.

“Oh I am so going to take it,” Luz muttered.

“Hot bath,” Eda waved a finger to turn on the tap. “Salve after, comfy clothes.”

“Thanks...”

“’s alright, kid.” Eda patted her shoulder and gave her a tired half grin. “I’ll wrangle us up some brunch. Come down when you’re ready.”

Luz nodded, then closed the door.

8

When Luz finally came downstairs, she found Eda asleep on a kitchen chair. King lay on the table, covered in crumbs. There was a half empty box of donuts and muffins next to him.

“Aw, you got breakfast donuts,” Luz said softly.

King burped, then slowly raised the donut in his hand to his face. It got half way there, then his little arm dropped.

“It’s too delicious...” he groaned. “Must... keep... eating...”

Luz took a seat at the table. The chair scraping against the floor made Eda raise her head.

“Fznwhut?”

“My donuts!” King made a grab for the box, but couldn’t reach it. “Weh...”

“Seems we’re all a bit out of sorts this morning,” Luz said with a faint, tired smile.

“Pssh, yeah,” Eda snorted, then sat back in her chair and rolled her shoulders. “How’s - ,” she waved a hand over her own body and yawned. “ - everyfin?”

“Swollen, bloated and full of ouch. But not as bad as yesterday?”

“Oof, and that’s great to hear, kid.” Eda rubbed her shoulder and gave Luz a gruff, sympathetic look. “Want a donut?”

“Are there any chocolate ones?”

Eda opened the box.

“There’s one with a bite taken out of it.”

“Gimme.”

Eda handed it over.

“Let’s test the potions, then nap, then check for reactions and side effects, then more naps.”

“What kind of side effects could there be?” Luz asked with her mouth full.

“Rash, upset tummy, hives. That’s how Boiling Isles people can react at least. The potions don’t interact with each other, generally, but they don’t mix well with willow bark. Might be good to test one at a time, but I don’t... really want you to have to go through your moon time without some kind of decent pain relief.”

“Aww, Eda...” Luz gave her a soft look.

“We’re just gonna test them on your arm, like the salve.”

“Okay.”

“I want you to tell me if you feel anything weird at all, you hear me?” Eda gave her a serious look.

“Yes, promise.”

“Alright. Arm.”

Luz held out her arm obediently and Eda waved her finger. Three differently sized cauldrons floated over from around the room. Eda dipped a finger into each of them, then drew three little circles on Luz’s skin, a few centimeters apart.

“Does this one have mint?” Luz asked, sniffing the closest cauldron curiously.

“Mmhm, all sorts of herbs and stuff,” Eda said, sounding distracted. She was staring at Luz’s arm. “Feel anything?”

“Nope,” Luz shook her head and took another bite of her donut.

“Alright. Keep an eye on your arm.”

9

When lunch time arrived, both Amity and Lilith had made considerable progress. The neat stacks of documents and letters on the right side of Lilith’s desk were much higher than the slightly more disorganized pile on her left. On the homework front, Amity had managed to get through all her worksheets and read the chapters she needed for three different classes. She wanted to go on reading about fire spells, but she could do that when everything else was finished. Now she only had Mr Otts essay and studying for the test left.

They had a lovely lunch consisting of the heated up left overs from the other night. Every bite made Amity think of Luz. She missed Luz. She wondered how she was doing and wished Luz had an iRaven so they could message each other.

Lilith noticed the forlorn look on Amity’s face.

“Not hungry?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah, no, it’s fine.” Amity sat up a little straighter. “Just... thinking.”

Lilith bit her lip. “Care to... share?” she asked in a careful manner. She hoped she didn’t sound commanding. Or too eager. Or, just too much of anything.

Amity opened her mouth, then closed it again.

“I’m...” she tried. “I’m thinking about... Luz.” She glanced up at Lilith, then down at her food. “I hope she’s okay.”

“Oh,” Lilith felt some tension leave her chest. “I’m sure she is. Eda is... a very talented potioneer.”

Amity smiled faintly, surprised but glad to feel reassured by her mentor’s words.

“Could you - “ Amity stopped herself.

“Could I...?” Lilith coaxed gently.

“Could you message her today? And ask how Luz is doing?”

“Certainly I can,” Lilith had to raise a hand to her heart - the expression on the girl’s face was so... soft and vulnerable and full of caring.

10

“How to you spell... ‘audacious’?” Amity wondered aloud.

“A, U, D, A, C, I, O, U, S, audacious.” Lilith responded. She blinked down at the paper in front of her - she had written the word down in capital letters. Now the sentence read ‘I will consider your request AUDACIOUS’. She let out a breath of laughter as she crossed it out.

“Thanks,” It was only when Amity had finished the sentence that she realized that she had just asked a question out of the blue. And Lilith had answered it and the cozy atmosphere hadn’t changed. She looked over at her mentor and felt her shoulders relax.

When Amity was finally satisfied with the conclusion of her essay, she put the notepad down, then stretched her arms and back, letting out a sigh as she sat back in the armchair. Lilith looked up at the sound.

“Finished for today?” she asked.

“I think so.” Amity had to suppress a yawn.

Lilith looked at the time. It was a little after four in the afternoon. She wasn’t quite finished with all her work, but she could do with a break. If she wanted to show Amity the garden, she should do so before the sun set. They had maybe two hours of light left. She put down her pen and rolled her shoulders. The Orcilae was starting to wear off now.

“How about... we take a little stroll in the garden?” Lilith suggested as she stood up. Amity gave her a smile and a nod.

They walked sedately through the corridors and stepped into the dulcet afternoon light. Lilith picked up a little basket when they passed the shed.

“If we’re lucky, there might be some ripe terque plums,” she said. “They would make a good afternoon snack.”

Amity nodded. She could do with something to eat.

They wandered through the fragrant garden, not saying very much. There was a lot to see. And a lot to smell. Lilith breathed in the wonderfully familiar mix of scents - they dampened the rising aches in her body and made her think of cake. She walked along with her hands on her back.

Amity had never seen her mentor so relaxed before. The gentle breeze played with Lilith’s hair, making it dance behind her in a lazy way. The bright puddles of sunlight among the hedges were warm and the shade between them was refreshing and cool. Everything was still. There was only the chirping of birds and crickets, the wind rustling in the taller trees, and the rhythmic crunch of their feet against the gravel. Amity wished they could walk in the garden forever - it was so calm... It made one big, bright pink bubble in her mind.

They came to a grove of plum trees. Lilith stopped by the lowest, most gnarled-looking tree. She sniffed the air, then stepped in under the shade of its long, twisted branches. She beckoned gently for Amity to follow. They walked out on the other side - here, the sun was beautifully warm. Lilith reached up and grasped a branch, then pulled it down. Amity was surprised to see it laden with dark blue fruit. Lilith leaned in close and sniffed the darkest ones, then smiled.

“Would you like to pick some?” She asked.  

Amity nodded, then stepped forward.

“Which ones?” Amity wondered. She didn’t want to pick the wrong fruit.

“Smell them,” Lilith instructed, then pulled the branch down a little further. “The ripe ones should smell deeply sweet.”

Amity stood on tip toe to smell the fruit. They all smelled sweet to her, but - hang on... She took a long whiff. There was a difference. There was a light sweetness to some, and a darker, more heavy sweetness to others. She reached up and pointed to one, then looked at her mentor. Lilith smiled and nodded at her. Amity picked the plum - it snapped off its stem with a little ‘pft’ sound. The fruit was sun-warm and velvety smooth in her hand.

Soon the little basket was full of indigo fruit. When Lilith let go of the branch it sprang back with a rustle.

“Let’s find somewhere nice to sit,” Lilith suggested.

They made their way to a white stone bench. It stood in front of a statue. Lilith took a seat with a gentle sigh and put the basket down next to her. Amity sat down too. The bench was pleasantly warm.

“Would you mind if I took my shoes off?” Lilith asked.

Amity’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, uh... no. Not at all.”

“Please help yourself to plums, my dear.”

Amity picked up a warm fruit while Lilith unlaced her boots. When she got them off, she put her feet in the grass and gave a deep sigh of relief. She closed her eyes a moment, then picked up a plum and bit into it. Amity followed suit and was surprised at how juicy it was - she had to lean forward and slurp in an undignified manner to keep it from spilling onto her clothes. But the taste - it was tangy, then sweet, then tart, then sweet again. Lilith’s shoulders went up and down with silent mirth as she chewed. When she swallowed her first bite she said:

“I should have warned you, the fruit from that tree is particularly juicy.”

“It’s okay, didn’t make a mess. It’s so good,” Amity managed after swallowing her own first bite. She eagerly took another bite and closed her eyes as she chewed. She only opened them again, when she realized she was sucking her fingers clean. Then she glanced over at Lilith and saw that she was doing the same. “M-may I have another?”

“Please, help yourself to as many as you like.” Lilith picked one up for herself. “Mm - “ she covered her mouth with one hand as she spoke with her mouth full. “Don’t throw away the pits - “ she swallowed. “They’re great for treating - “

“Spore fever,” they said it at the same time. Amity giggled and they exchanged a smile.

As they sat and devoured the plums, Sapphire appeared in the sky. The palisman landed on Lilith’s knee and dropped the little scroll in her lap, then hopped to the handle of the basket. She cawed, then began pecking at a fruit.

“Would you hold it for her, my dear?” Lilith asked as she unrolled the scroll.

“Sure.” Amity picked up the plum. “What does it say?”

“’Luz is responding well to the potions, bring ozelac root when you come over tomorrow, don’t come before 10, Eda’.” There was a PS in a different, much neater hand. “And... ‘PS. Hi Amity, I’m doing okay, can’t wait to see you tomorrow! XOXOXO, Luz’. And there’s... some sort of little drawing.” She held out the note for Amity to see.

Amity’s eyes went wide, then the left corner of her mouth twitched.

Hugs and kisses, she thought, then her brain ground to a halt.

“What is that...?” Lilith lifted the note closer to her face. It looked like... rocks? With faces drawn on them. One was yellow, the other was red with black spots.

Maybe an inside joke, Lilith figured. She held out the message to Amity again, then noticed the flush to her cheeks. The girl took the note and drew in a slightly shaky breath, then exhaled slowly and relaxed. She looked down at it and smiled in a soft way. It made Lilith so pleased to see.

When they explored the rest of the garden, Sapphire rode along on Amity’s shoulder. Lilith carried the basket and her shoes and walked on the grass next to the gravel paths. It was a lovely late afternoon.

When the sun began to set, they walked back to the house.

11

They spent the evening in the study. Amity drew and looked through Penstagram for things Luz might like until Lilith was finished with work.

“There,” Lilith said as she put the final letter on the pile. “Finally finished.” She rolled her shoulders, then stretched. It was almost nine thirty in the evening now. Might be a little too early to go to bed. She glanced over the bookshelves. Sometimes, when her father was done with work, they had played Opsideo* together. The game board was still there, next to the encyclopedias.

Amity looked up at her mentor’s words.

“Have you ever played Opsideo?” Lilith asked in a slightly dreamy sounding voice.

“I play it with my grandmother sometimes.”

Lilith looked round at her protege and smiled.

“Would you like to play?”

Amity smiled and nodded, then started to put away her things. Lilith fetched the heavy board and put it on the table between the two armchairs.

“Mind you, I haven’t played this for years, so I might be a little rusty,” Lilith said apologetically. She hesitated a moment, then picked up one black and one white stone, then put her hands behind her back. “Pick a hand.”

“Left.”

Lilith held out a black stone.

“You start.”

Clack.

Amity had put the first piece down with confidence.

I might be in trouble here, Lilith thought.

12

“Well that was... educational,” she said thirty minutes later.

Amity was unsure how to respond. She had beaten her mentor easily. What had been difficult was to not beat her by a humiliating amount of points.

“Good game,” Lilith held out her hand. Amity had to stand up to reach it. “But next time, please don’t hold back.”

Amity froze. “Um.”

“I may not be a great player, but I know you could have captured a lot more pieces.”

Amity looked extremely uncomfortable as she sat back down.

“Sorry,” she said quietly.

Lilith gave her a worried look. “I’m not... upset you defeated me, my dear. I only hope that in time, I will become a more worthy opponent - that is... if you would like to play again?”

Amity nodded earnestly.

“Good,” Lilith gave her a warm smile. It made Amity relax a tad. “Now, I think it might be time to start getting ready for bed.” She noticed the girl’s shoulders rising several notches at that. “Are you... worried about having more nightmares?”

Amity nodded, her eyebrows drawing together.

“Sometimes... it helps to talk about them,” Lilith said carefully. “Or what might be... causing them.”

Amity swallowed.

“Um...” She looked down into her lap and rubbed her knees in a nervous manner.

“But you don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” Lilith added quickly, then, in an attempt to make the girl more comfortable, she said; “When I had bad dreams when I was a child, I... would go to my sister, too.”

“You would?” Amity’s eyebrows rose high.

“Yes.” Lilith paused a moment. “It was hard... when I couldn’t do that anymore.”

“What... did you do i-instead?”

“I... read books,” she turned her head and tutted. “I say read but it was more that I looked at the pictures in the books. I had a fully illustrated encyclopedia of flora and fauna I liked to look at. It was distracting. Then, when I didn’t feel... afraid anymore, I would go back to sleep.”

“That sounds... really lonely.”

Lilith’s eyebrows raised.

“Well... I... suppose it was,” she said slowly.

“You couldn’t... go to your parents, either?” The look on Amity’s face was so terribly vulnerable. Lilith interpreted the question to mean that Amity herself hadn’t been able to go to her parents and was asking if Lilith had the same experience, as opposed to asking if Lilith could have gone to her parents instead of handling it herself.

“No.” Lilith shook her head. “My parents... were not... warm, or particularly flexible people. They were more of the persuasion that children should be seen, not heard. There were good times, despite that... attitude. Like when my father and I played Opsideo.” Lilith gestured down at the board with a wistful little smile.

Amity chewed her bottom lip. There was obviously a question that wanted to get out.

“Yes?” Lilith prompted gently.

“Do... the good memories... hurt?” Amity swallowed. Her hands bunched on her knees. “More than the bad ones?”

Lilith gave Amity a worried look, then let out a little breath. “I’ve never thought of it like that but... yes. Yes, some of them. Absolutely.” She tried to force the stirring memories back into their boxes. “The difference between what was and what is, is...” she trailed off.

“It’s what?”

“... Sometimes hard to grasp.” She took a breath. “It’s not the presence of something bad, it’s the absence of something good. Something perhaps wonderful. Something that used to be good. Or safe, or... someone who used to be good. Or safe. Knowing that they or the circumstances have changed, that things are no longer the way they used to be...” She stroked the back of her hand with the other. “Yes. Yes, I understand that the good memories can hurt more than the... blatantly bad ones.”

Amity breathed out. Her hands opened up. After a moment, she took a deep, steadying breath.

“I used to play on the floor of my dad’s study. When I was small. He... sometimes got angry about... work or... someone doing something bad... I tried to... make him feel better. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t. He... Sometimes he put me outside and closed the door. Without calling for anyone.”

The closing doors from her nightmare? Lilith wondered as her heart seared with ice.

“He... left you alone? Outside?” Lilith asked carefully.

“Not outside outside, it was in the house.” Amity’s heart started to pound. “It wasn’t as if he... like... shut me in the basement or something. He just... closed the door. He always opened it again, later. When... he was in a better mood...” she trailed off.

“When he came outside... did he... pick you up?” Lilith’s voice was very soft. She didn’t want to spook the girl now that she was opening up.

“I think so. He must have. Unless I...”

“Unless you?”  

“Unless I made him mad again.”

“And how... would you make him mad?”

Amity shrugged. “By being a bother?”

Lilith tried to swallow the bile that rose at the back of her throat; she had heard Amity use those words before. “And how exactly, would you... be a ‘bother’?”

“By crying?” Amity shrugged again. “Being needy...”

Lilith had to take a breath. “Amity it... sounds as if you think that, in that situation, you were at fault?”

“Yes?”

Lilith closed her eyes a moment and cracked her fingers, her heart threatening to break under the strain.

“... Did I say something wrong?” Amity asked in a tiny voice.

“No, no, no,” Lilith opened her eyes and looked at the girl, slowly shaking her head from side to side. “What your father did, putting you outside his door - that was wrong.”

“Then... why did he do it?”

“That is a very good question. And I’m sorry to say I don’t know the answer. But what I do know is that what he did... is no way to treat a child.” Lilith looked at Amity seriously.

“But maybe he... If I hadn’t...“ Amity trailed off. She felt like she had to defend or justify her father’s actions.

“What would you do, if you heard a crying child outside that door?” Lilith pointed to the door to the study.

“I don’t... know?”

Lilith slowly rose from her chair and took a seat on the table in front of Amity. Amity looked at her uncertainly.

“If I had heard a child outside my door, I would open it and say... ‘Hello, little one. What are you doing out here, all alone?’”

Amity drew in a sharp, shallow little breath. Something deep, something large and... fundamental stirred in her chest. Something that seemed to be not only in her chest, but attached to it. It writhed darkly.

“And I would pick her up and hug her. And if she was crying, I would ask, ‘Why are you crying?’. What do you think she would say?”

“Because... because daddy closed the door...” Amity answered breathlessly.

“And how did that make the little girl feel, do you think?”

“A-alone... A-and scared...” The dark thing coiled and uncoiled, agitated.

“Why did daddy close the door on the little girl?”

“Because he said she was a bother...”

“How did that make the little girl feel?”

Amity shook her head. “A-awful... Push - “ she swallowed. “Pushed away...”

Rejected, Lilith thought. And her mother - in the dream she didn’t have eyes. Blind to Amity’s needs. Another kind of rejection.

“I’m sorry he made the little girl feel that way. That sounds like it really, really hurt her on the inside.” Lilith’s voice was tender.

Amity nodded fervently, feeling the snake-like thing inside twist and turn.

“It wasn’t the little girl’s fault that daddy pushed her away and put her outside.”

The snake writhed.

“It wasn’t?” Amity’s voice was barely a whisper.

“No. It wasn’t the little girl’s fault. Daddies are supposed to take care of their little girls. And when they don’t... it’s never, ever, the little girl’s fault.”

“Never ever?”

“Never. Ever.”

“You... you promise?”

“I promise.”

“Not even when they make a mess?”

“Not even when they make a mess.”

“Not even when they cry?”

“Especially not when they cry. When little girls cry, you’re supposed to pick them up and hug them. And tell them that it’s going to be alright. And that you’ve got them. And that you will always be there for them, no matter what.”

“And... what does the little girl have to do... to earn all that?” The snake was coiled to strike.

Lilith’s aching heart broke.

Earn...

“She...” Lilith had to take a breath. “She doesn’t have to do anything. Because she deserves all those things, just the way she is, and she has always deserved them. No matter how many messes she makes, she deserves to be held and heard and seen. And to know for a fact that she is never, ever, ever... a bother for showing or saying how she really feels.”

“You... you promise?”

“I promise. Would the little girl... like a hug?”

Amity nodded, her vision suddenly blurring.

“Come here,” Lilith said in a warm, gentle voice and patted her thighs. Amity moved into Lilith’s lap and put her head against her chest. Lilith’s arms wrapped around her carefully.

Inside Amity, something strange was happening. Instead of striking, the snake... faded a little. It was still there, still attached to her, but... maybe it shouldn’t be there? Maybe it... wasn’t supposed to be there? She hadn’t known it was there until a few minutes ago.

The girl’s breathing was a bit labored and Lilith could feel, rather than see, that she was crying. It wasn’t a violent, desperate type of crying, like it had been last night, it was... an open pressure valve as opposed to a tightly closed one that had exploded.

In a way, Lilith felt as if she was holding a younger version of herself in her arms - and it was soothing something deep inside her.

Here is a little girl that is being held. That is being seen. That is being heard. She is letting me hold her. She is letting me see her. She is letting me hear her...

“Little girls deserve all the good things,” she said softly as she stroked Amity’s hair.

Amity sniffed and snuggled a little closer - it made Lilith’s broken heart sear with fierce, joyful pride.

Oh, little one...

Sitting in Lilith’s lap and being held like this was... everything to Amity. She couldn’t put words to the feelings, but she knew she felt safe. Lilith’s words... Lilith’s voice... Lilith’s steady breathing... Lilith’s smell... It was all weaving together into a comforting blanket. In her mind, she could see the little girl being held in Lilith’s arms. The little girl wasn’t sitting alone in the corridor anymore. She was safe now.

Eventually, Amity wiped her cheeks and looked up at Lilith. Lilith gave her a warm, gentle smile.

“Now... what do you say to a glass of warm milk before bed?” she asked in a soft voice.

Amity smiled and nodded slowly. Her eyebrows rose, then she turned and reached for one of her books. She took out a drawing and brought it closer, then looked up at Lilith again and held it out.

“What’s this?” she asked in surprise. It was a pencil drawing of a pair of Perytons, one fawn and one doe. They were flying over a forest. She raised a hand to hold the picture, staring down at it in amazement. “Is this... for me?”

Amity nodded.

“Oh... Thank you, my dear...” Lilith let out a soft breath, then drew in an unsteady one. “It’s beautiful...” She hugged the girl close with one arm and put her cheek to Amity’s forehead. She felt so... touched. “Oh my goodness...”

She drew me a picture... She smiled down at it, trying to decide where she would put it. On her desk or by her bedside. She was sure she had a frame that would fit it.

Amity’s cheeks grew warm at Lilith’s reaction.

She looks so happy - my picture made her happy, Amity thought, amazed and relieved.

They walked to the kitchen and made some warm milk for Amity, then they headed upstairs. Lilith couldn’t stop looking at the picture and smiling.

“Goodnight, my dear,” Lilith said as they reached the second floor. “And remember... If you need anything... please come to me.”

Amity looked up at her and nodded. Lilith stroked her cheek and smiled.

When Lilith had done her night time routine, she lay down in bed and looked at the picture again. Children had drawn her pictures before. She had a special folder for them in her study. They all meant a great deal to her, but this picture... This picture meant the world.

13

“Mornin’,” Eda said as she opened the door.

“Good afternoon,” Lilith said back, one eyebrow raised. “It’s after twelve.”

Eda’s moderately grumpy face turned highly grumpy.

“... Aaannnd goodbye,” she began to close the door.

Amity looked up at Lilith uncertainly.

“Wait.” Lilith closed her eyes and grimaced. The door stopped. Eda turned her head and raised her eyebrows. “Sorry.”

Eda smirked, then reopened the door. “Let’s try that again, shall we? Mornin’.”

Lilith rolled her eyes and sighed, then said. “Good morning, Edalyn.”

“Wasn’t so hard, was it?” Eda chuckled. “Get in here, kid, Luz’s in the kitchen.” Eda waved for Amity to come inside.

Amity glanced from Eda to Lilith.

“Go on, my dear,” Lilith patted her on the shoulder and gave her an apologetic look. Amity stepped between them and hurried into the house.

Lilith rubbed her temple and took a breath, then held out the basket she had brought.

“Here, we picked you some plums.”

“Oh.” Eda took it gingerly. “Well. Now I feel bad.”

There was an awkward moment. Lilith didn’t have the energy to bicker.

“How’s Luz?” she asked in a softer tone.

“Doing better today. Vosker’s did the trick.”

“Oh, good. Good...”

“How’s your kid?”

“Oh, she’s...” Lilith trailed off, smiling tiredly. “She’s... opening up. Slowly.”

“Great,” Eda raised an eyebrow, then looked Lilith up and down. “And how are you, Lily?”

“Me?” Lilith had to take a moment to think. “Fine.”

“Mm-hmm,” Eda hummed, giving her a ‘I doubt it’ look. “You any good at putting together Die Keea furniture?”

Lilith gave her a confused look. “I don’t think I’ve ever done that.”

“Fantastic! We can learn together.” She stepped back and headed toward the stairs. “Close the door would ya.”

Lilith sighed and shook her head, then stepped into the house and closed the door.

14

Amity dug into her bag as she walked toward the kitchen. She hoped Luz would like the picture she had made her. She could have done a much better job if she’d had her colored pencils, but she was pretty satisfied with the result. And Lilith’s reaction to the picture she had given her had boosted her confidence.

“Luz?”

“Amity! I didn’t hear the door!” Luz turned around - she was holding a mixing bowl. She raised one arm to wave, still holding the spoon; she splattered the floor and herself with the dark brown mixture. Both girls froze, then Luz made a little snort - both of them burst out laughing.

“Oh, man,” Luz giggled as she wiped her cheek on her apron. “That could have gone better, I really have to stop and think sometimes.”

“Maybe?” Amity shook her head, smiling widely. She noticed Luz had missed a spot on her cheek - she had to clench her fist to stop herself from reaching out to wipe it away. She pointed to her own cheek instead.

“Are you okay?” Amity asked once Luz was mostly clean.

“Yeah,” Luz said with a breath of laughter. “The bread I made is resting, but I was hoping to be done with the cake before you arrived, too.” She held out her arms apologetically and Amity stepped into her embrace.

She tried to be gentle as she hugged Luz. To Amity’s delight, Luz leaned her cheek to hers and let out a contented little sigh. As they hugged, Amity noticed her tummy getting warmer.

“Are you... wearing a hot water bottle?” she asked in surprise.

“Hah, yeah,” Luz said with an apologetic giggle. “Got one on my back too. I’m a walking Luz sandwich.”

Amity made a worried little squeak and hugged Luz tighter.

“Aw, querida, I’m okay...” Luz said soothingly, stroking Amity’s back.

“You sure?”

“Yes; Eda found a potion that works much better than my pills. How are you?” 

“I’ve missed you,” Amity whispered, not caring that she was blushing.

“Aw, I missed you too!” Luz rubbed her cheek against Amity’s now.

There was a tender moment when they just stood there, holding each other.

“I - I made you something,” Amity said after a wonderful minute.

“You did?” Luz stepped back from the hug, looking adorably surprised.

Amity opened her bag and took out a drawing. She shyly held it out to Luz.

It’s... a bowl? Luz thought as she gazed down at the picture in stunned silence. With... carrots and... oh. Oh my gosh... 

After a few silent seconds Amity felt her heart sink.

She hates it, she thought wretchedly. What a stupid, silly idea. I shouldn’t have -

“You... you made me soup?” Luz asked in a squeaky voice. She looked up at Amity - Amity saw her lower lip tremble and her eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

“Y-yes?”

“Oh querida pequeña, // Oh little darling,” Luz whimpered, then embraced Amity and planted a kiss on her cheek and hugged her even tighter than before. Amity could feel Luz’s chest shudder.

“Y-you like it?” she asked, kind of overwhelmed by Luz’s reaction. Her cheek tingled from the kiss.

“I love it!” Luz bawled. “You made me soup!”

She... loves it... Amity thought, feeling a little light headed. She kissed my cheek and she loves it! She hugged Luz back tenderly, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. She loves it...

She made me soup! Luz sang in her mind, beside herself with joy. She felt so incredibly touched and surprised and honored and happy! She wanted to make Lilith soup to make her feel better and now she’s made me soup! A forever-soup that will never go bad - I’m going to frame it and hang it over my bed and look at it every night - oh, she’s too damn cute, I’m going to die!

15

“Where did the screwdriver go?” Eda scratched her head and looked around the floor.

“Almost done with it.”

“Wait, what are you doing?”

“Step six?”

“We’re on step nine.”

“No, you’ve got the instructions upside down.”

“Huh. Oh yeah.”

“Just - hold these.” Lilith handed her a some screws.

“What’s the next step?”

“’Take part 7A to 7D and attach to the corners of 2F’. With the long plugs. Where did you put the hammer?”

“I thought you had it?”

They looked around, then Eda spotted it under the instructions.

“Dibs on pounding the things in,” Eda said quickly.

“Fine.”

When she was done, she stood up and looked over the work so far.

“So... how’ve you been?” she said in an off-hand voice.

“Fine, Eda.”

Eda gave an amused little huff. “Try again, sis.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“How bout the truth?”

“I don’t know what to tell you - I am fine.”

“Listen.” Eda said, cutting all pretense. “You may be able to fool everybody else, but you can’t fool me; you’ve been taking Orcilae a lot lately.”

Lilith froze mid-screw. Her mind was suddenly racing.

“Do you want it back?” she countered.

“No, I don’t want it back, you knucklehead,” Eda rolled her eyes. “But you’ve gotta be careful - you know it’s addictive.”

“I know.” Lilith took a breath. “It’s just - been a rough week.”

“Have you taken it every day?”

Lilith did a quick calculation in her head. “More or less,” she said slowly.

Eda tutted. “Lily...”

“What?” Lilith put the screwdriver down. But she knew what.

“You could have told me,” Eda flipped her palms up. “There are other potions.”

“I can’t be seen buying pain relief potions, Eda.” Lilith shook her head tiredly.

She just doesn’t understand, she thought.  

“What, not even Vosker’s? People take that for tooth ache and stuff.”

“The amount - Eda I would go through several bottles a week, people would take notice!”

“So, you just drink liters of willow bark tea instead?”

“Well... yes!” Lilith shrugged defensively.

Eda frowned and looked her sister up and down.

“Well you shouldn’t.”

“I know it’s not the best, but what am I supposed to do, just endure?”

“You could have come to me, Lily.”

Eda’s soft tone of voice surprised Lilith even more than her words did. She turned to look at her sister.

“How could I have come to you, Edalyn?” Lilith asked, shaking her head in disbelief. “You left. I’ve been looking for you for years - I didn’t know you were still in Bonesborough until a month ago!”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t know you needed me.”

Eda looked Lilith straight in the eye - there was deep worry behind those usually playful, defiant eyes.

Eda realized what she had just said. Her eyes darted away from the look of utter surprise on Lilith’s face.

Lilith... didn’t know how to respond. It had caught her completely off guard; the words and the look in Eda’s eyes had broken through all her defenses. A part of her wanted to scream that she didn’t need Eda, not now, not ever. Another part of her wanted to say that she had always needed her. A third part wanted to storm out of the room. And a small, deep, young part of her wanted for Eda to... ruffle her hair.

The awkward silence stretched.

Eda drew in breath to speak, but to her relief, there was a clang from downstairs. Both Clawthorne sisters looked down, then at each other.

“Gonna check on the kids,” Eda muttered, then strode out of the room.

Lilith looked after her, then down at the half finished bed frame. She sighed and rubbed her forehead.

16

Eda shook herself mentally while she hurried down the stairs.

“You clanged?” she said as she entered the kitchen.

Luz and Amity looked up at her from the floor. There was flour everywhere.

“Everything’s okay!” Luz said quickly. “Just dropped the baking tin.”

“I’m so sorry,” Amity was red in the face. “I’ll clean it up.”

“It’s alright! This sorta thing happens - lucky we hadn’t put the batter in it yet, right?”

Eda helped (read: supervised) the girls clean(ing) up, then said she needed to go out and chop some wood. It was a good excuse to get out of the house for a bit. She could do it by magic, but the repetitive task would help her clear her mind and give her something to focus on.

She worked up a sweat as she swung the heavy axe. When she had made a sizable pile of split logs, she magicked them all into semi-neat stacks and moved them under the awning so they could dry out. She looked around the yard with her hands on her hips. If she was out here, she might as well tidy up the shed. She’d been meaning to do that for ages. There was nothing more motivating to do chores than avoiding an awkward conversation. Usually, Eda didn’t avoid things like that, but she usually didn’t feel so shaken. An old, heavy guilt had been stirred up and she didn’t know how to deal with it.

17

Lilith finished putting together the bed, then made it with the sheets and duvet she found ready and waiting in a pile by the door. She fluffed the pillows, then looked around the room. There was a blue and white bedroll standing by a pair of shoes and a bag that Lilith recognized as Luz’s. Apparently Amity wasn’t the only child living out of one small bag. At least now Luz had a decent bed.

She spent a few minutes organizing the mess of boxes and random pieces of furniture that occupied one half of the room. When she was done, it took up less than a quarter of the space. She found a broom and swept up too. The middle of the room looked really bare now, so she took a carpet from the corner and rolled it out. There. Now it almost looked cozy.

Lilith took a breath, picked up the basket of plums, then opened the door to go downstairs. A wonderful smell greeted her. She took another, deeper breath and exhaled slowly. She loved the smell of baking...

Down in the kitchen, she found Luz and Amity hard at work.

“Good afternoon,” Lilith said as she put the basket down on the flour covered table.

“Hi Lilith!” Luz greeted in her bright way and Amity smiled.

“How are you feeling, Luz?”

“Aw, I’m okay, thanks for asking. I’m - oh! Where’s Eda, I just thought of the best pun!” Luz clapped her hands to her cheeks, then turned to Amity. “Today I’m a sandwich apprentice, get it?”

Amity huffed out a ‘that was terrible’ laugh and shook her head at her friend. Lilith felt very confused, but was glad to see the girls in such good spirits. Goodness knew they deserved it.

Little girls deserve all the good things...

“See, I’m a Luz sandwich,” Luz lifted her long sleeved shirt and turned her side to Lilith. There was one hot water bottle on her front and one on her back, held up by a scarf. “And a witch apprentice, so...”

“Oh, I see,” Lilith said with a breath of laughter. She shook her head at Luz, too. It was a terrible joke. Eda would probably love it. “I’m not sure where Eda went.”

“I suppose she’ll turn up - ooooh what’s that?” Luz pointed to the basket.  

“Plums from my garden.”

“Terque plums?”

“... Yes.” Lilith’s eyebrows rose.

“I love those! Can I have one?”

“By all means; we brought them for you and Eda.”

“Aww, thanks guys, that’s so nice of you,” Luz turned to Lilith with a soft expression on her face. Then she gasped. “I could make jam! For the bread! Or a pie! Or both! Oh my gosh!” Luz picked up a plum in both hands and took a long sniff. “They smell so good!” She took a big bite and squeaked in surprise at how juicy it was. “Ohmygoschh!”

“You can make jam?” Amity asked in amazement.

Luz nodded and swallowed her bite. “Yeah, it’s not hard - let’s jam it up! Think we ran out of flour anyway!” She beamed as she picked up the basket and carried it over to the sink. “Could you wash these while I do the frosting for the cake?”

“Sure.”

Something dinged and Luz darted over to the oven, put on an oven mitt, then took out a round tin and prodded it with a fork. She smiled, then put it down on the stove.

Lilith felt at a bit of a loose end.

“Can I... do something? Something simple, preferably,” she asked, trying not to sound too uncertain.

“Oh, sure! Could you stir this?” Luz handed her the bowl she had just picked up. “Add milk, a little at a time, until its smooth and spreadable.”

“Alright.”

Luz gave gentle, encouraging instructions and soon all three of them stood round the stove, watching her stir the boiling jam. The room smelled wonderful.

“Then you just gotta do a wrinkle check - “ she put a little dab of jam onto a cool plate, waited a moment, then prodded it with the spoon. The jam crinkled. “It’s ready! Now it just needs to cool down and set.”

“Is there anything more to do?” Amity asked.

Luz looked round the room. “Just clean up!”

“Why not - take a little break first?” Lilith suggested, gently but firmly. She had noticed the sheen of sweat on Luz’s forehead. All three of them had stood by the stove, but neither Amity or Lilith herself were sweating. “Maybe it’s time to reheat your... toast.”

“My what?” Luz looked up at her in confusion.

“The hot water bottles.”

“Oh! Ha ha, yeah...” the happy grin on her face stiffened slightly. “Yes, mhm.”

“I’ll put the kettle on,” Amity said quickly.

“Go have a seat,” Lilith nodded toward the table.

Luz walked to a chair and sat down carefully. While they waited for the water to boil, Lilith and Amity made quick work of the mess. Lilith even found some brand-new looking cleaning supplies in a cupboard Luz had never opened.

“When was the last time you took the potion?” Lilith asked as she scrubbed the table. Luz was looking quite pale now.

“Uhh... one-ish?”

Lilith looked at the clock; It was half past five now.

“You’re a little overdue for a dose,” she said in a gentle voice. “Where is it?”

“Uhh... Not sure actually. Eda knows. Where is she?” Luz looked around, then took a breath and yelled: ”EEEDA?”

Both Lilith and Amity jumped at the sudden sound.

“Yeah?” came from somewhere outside.

“Need you! Kitchen!”

After half a minute, Eda appeared in the door. She glanced round the room, then looked at Luz.

“What’s up?”

“The cramps are coming back,” Luz said in a slightly strained voice.

Eda glanced at the clock, made a guilty grimace, then shook her head.

“Sorry, kid. Lost track of time,” she said as she strode to a cupboard. She rummaged a moment, then turned around with a glass bottle in her hands. She picked up a mug from the dish rack, then sat down next to Luz. She poured the dark blue liquid into the cup, counting under her breath. “Here you go.”

The kettle started to sing while Luz drank the potion down. Soon she was re-sandwichified.

“Oh, I thought of a pun,” she said with a weak little smile. “Today I’m a sandwich apprentice.”

“Huh?” Eda’s brow furrowed a moment, then she snorted hugely, slapped herself on the knee and began to cackle. When she had regained her breath she wiped the corner of her eye. “Good one! I’m so proud of you, squirt.”

Soon the color returned to Luz’s cheeks, surely helped by Eda’s mad laughter, as well as the potion.

“I think the jam is ready, if you guys would like some fresh bread for a sort of impromptu early dinner?” Luz suggested.

“You made jam?” Eda asked.

“Yeah, from some of the plums Amity and Lilith brought.”

Eda took a breath, then put her hand on Luz’s shoulder and looked her straight in the eye. Then, in a serious voice she said: “Kid, you’re amazing.”

“I am amazing,” she said back, blushing adorably.

“That’s my girl!” Eda growled joyfully, then stood and ruffled Luz’s hair. “Dibs on the edge piece!” She gathered all the things and plonked it down on the beautifully clean kitchen table. Amity passed round the plates and Eda handed Luz the bread knife. “I bestow upon you, the sacred blade,” she said with a playful look in her eye. Luz squeaked happily and took the handle.

“Thank you, I’ll wield it with honor.” She began to cut up the bread in thick slices. Eda got the end piece, as requested.

“Cactus laundry, Luz!” she said and raised her glass of milk.

“But you haven’t even tried it yet?” Luz pointed out.

Eda gave her a wink. “I have faith in you.”

“Me too. Cactus laundry,” Amity smiled, raising her glass too.

“Cactus laundry.” Lilith joined in with a firm nod.

“You guys...” Luz whined, looking around at them all and blushing, one hand over her heart.  

They clinked glasses, then dug in.

18

As they were tucking into the chocolate cake, Amity got a notification on her Penstagram.

“Oh my god, I completely forgot!” she said excitedly. “There’s a new Guardians of Goretack book coming out on Wednesday!”

“Theee... one with the magic sword that makes people tell the truth?” Luz asked. “And the sassy dragon lady?”

“Yeah! There’s a launch party at the Book Nook - you want to go? The author is going to be there!”

“Uh, yeah I wanna go!” Luz grinned hugely, jumping on to the excitement train. “At what time?”

“Five thirty to ten!”

“Ooh, then we could go get coffee or something before!”

Once everyone had had their fill of cake, and they had decided that Luz and Amity would go to Lilith’s house and spend the night there after the launch party, Eda volunteered (read: was puppy dog eyed into by Luz) to do the dishes.

Lilith came over and leaned on the counter next to the sink.

“I finished the bed,” she said.

“Right, thanks.”

There was an awkward silence.

“Listen, I - “ Eda began at the same time as Lilith said: “About before - “

They both fell silent. Their eyes met, then both looked away.

“Let me finish this, then we talk, okay?” Eda said quietly.

“... Alright. Drink?”

“By the fridge.” Eda nodded to her left.

Lilith grabbed a couple of glasses and a bottle of something, then walked past Eda and out into the garden.

Well. Not garden, per se. Backyard, maybe. There was some mismatched lawn furniture dotted around a little fire pit. Lilith wondered if that’s where Amity had burned her things. She took a seat on the sturdiest looking chair and put the glasses on the ground. Sparse as the backyard was, at least it had a nice view, Lilith observed. The sea stretched to the horizon.

After a few minutes, Eda joined her.

“Bold choice,” she commented as she picked up the bottle.

“What?”

“This’ll knock your socks off.” Eda poured them a very small measure of the turquoise liquid each. “Down the hatch.” She threw the drink back in one go, then grimaced and made a disgusted sound.

Lilith raised her eyebrows and eyed the drink doubtfully, then took a measured sip.

“Ugh, that is vile,” Lilith’s eyes watered and her throat burned. “Why do you even have that?”

“Meh.” Eda shrugged. “Was a gift.”

Lilith wiped her mouth, then put the drink down.

“Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?” Eda said and cleared her throat. “Can’t be having with this dramatic silence business.”

“... By all means,” Lilith cracked her fingers.

“If you bring me the ingredients, I could make you whatever potions you need.”

That was not what Lilith had expected to hear. She looked at Eda in surprise.

“And here I thought you were going to lecture me,” she said.

Eda tutted and leaned forward slightly, leaning her elbows on her splayed knees.

“You’re a big girl, you know the risks.”

“... Thank you, I... will take you up on that.” Lilith said after a moment. “How do you... deal with the pain?”

Eda made a little amused scoff. “I don’t, really. My elixir...” she trailed off. “It’s got a pain reliever mixed into it. Usually takes the edge off. Guess I’ve kind of gotten used to being in pain all the time. More or less. Most days it’s just... not a big deal.”

Lilith rubbed her jaw muscles.

“Think it’d be a whole lot worse if I had to do all the stuff you do. Going to work. Being polite to people. Meetings.”

It was Lilith’s turn to scoff in amusement now.

“Your directness would be refreshing in meetings.”

“Whoa, stop showering me with compliments, Lily, it’s embarrassing,” Eda chuckled and nudged Lilith with her elbow. “I don’t know how you do it. The meetings and stuff.”

“Self control.”

“Never had much of that.”

Another silence stretched between them.

Lilith cast around for something to say.

“Wednesday. That’s when the Blight twins’ suspension is up.”

“Oh yeah?”

“It’s... good that she, that they have something good to look forward to. Afterward. With the book thing.”

“Have you heard anything from the Blights?”

Lilith shook her head.

“Not. A. Word.”

Eda huffed.

“You... gonna full on apprentice her up?” she asked, trying to sound casual. “Like, officially?”

“That’s not really done anymore, Eda.”

“You’re the leader of the Emperor’s Coven,” Eda held out her hands and shrugged. “If you want to do the whole ‘kid, I choose you to be my whatever, twinkle twinkle contract contract’, I doubt anyone’s gonna stop you.”

Lilith let out a breath. “Do you think she’d even want to?”

Eda turned around and gave Lilith a long, comically disbelieving look.

“I don’t want to scare her away,” Lilith folded her arms, her cheeks going pink and her shoulders rising. “She’s...” she dropped her shoulders and sighed. “She’s dealing with a enough as it is - and she is just starting to open up to me.”

“There’s no rush.”

After a moment, Eda nudged Lilith again.

“You’re picturing the ceremony right now, aren’t you?” she snickered.

“Oh, shut up.”

19

Amity spent the following three nights at Lilith’s house, without any further nightmares, to the relief of both of them. They had found a comfortable little routine in their days now. They would wake up and have breakfast together, then get ready and walk to school. Luz would pick her up in the afternoons. Then Lilith came and collected her at the Owl House and they flew back to Lilith’s place in the mid to late evening. That gave Lilith enough time to deal with work and her coven responsibilities - and relieved her of the pressure to make an edible dinner.

Amity was tense when she entered school with Lilith on Wednesday morning. She hoped she wouldn’t run into Ed or Em in the corridors. Lilith patted her on the shoulder.

“If there’s a problem... Come find me.”

Amity nodded.

Despite her mentor’s reassuring words, she hid in the library until her lessons started.

As she stood in the queue for lunch, she saw her older siblings come toward her, walking with their group of friends. She straightened her back and glared at them as they passed, her body tense as a bowstring, comebacks readied in her mind. But they didn’t say anything to her. They didn’t even look at her. It was like she wasn’t there. That... confused her terribly. She had been so sure they would... do something. Say something. Now she felt silly.

She was in a rather thoughtful mood as she joined her friends after getting food. She was glad to be able to focus on something else when the lessons started up again.

20

Luz waited eagerly for the clock to strike half past three. She was excited! Not only was she going to a book launch with one of her very best friends ever, they were going to have coffee first - maybe they could go for a walk in town afterward and talk about their expectations for the new book! Luz had spent the last few days catching up on the story and man, oh man was she glad she had! It was a great story - not as great as the Azura stories, but pretty damn close.

Luz had always wanted a friend to talk about books and fanfiction with. Amity had such interesting theories about stuff - she came at things from such a different angle! She could come up with things that Luz would never have thought of. And when she got into talking about something, she got so passionate.

She is just so cool! Luz thought, not able to stand still.

The last few days had been wonderful. They had hung out every afternoon! There had been homework and cookies and games and all sorts of conversations. Once they had giggled so much Eda said they had to go outside because they were giving her a headache.

A wave of slightly older students started to spill out of the doors now and Luz looked through the crowd. When she spotted Amity her brain sparkled.

“Amity! Hi!” she waved and jumped. Amity looked up, smiled stiffly, blushed adorably, then headed toward her. Luz gave her a great big cuddle. “How was your day?”

“I’ll tell you on the way,” Amity took Luz by the hand. They headed toward a different path than usual.

“It’s that way isn’t it?” Luz asked, pointing to the path skewing to the left.

“This one goes to town too, it’s just a little longer.”

“Okaay?”

Once they had split away from the other people heading home, Amity’s shoulders lowered.

“What’s up, querida?”

“I don’t want to run into Ed and Em,” Amity explained.

“Oh, right. They were back today, weren’t they.”

“Yeah.”

“... But I thought they had detention after school?”

Amity stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening in surprise. Then she let out a little groan and covered her face with one hand.

“You’re right...”

“You okay?” Luz rubbed Amity’s arm sweetly.

“Yeah I just... My mind has been all over the place this afternoon. When I saw them at lunch they didn’t say anything, they didn’t do anything - they didn’t even look at me? I’ve heard no rumors, my locker was not full of slime or spiders or frogs or anything.” Amity shook her head.

“Never feels good to be ghosted but maybe they’re just... well, leaving you alone?”

“Yeah but... Nothing?” Amity looked at Luz. “Sorry. Do you want to walk the usual route?”

“No, this is fine,” Luz smiled. They started walking again. “The nothing makes you worried?”

“Yes.” Amity nodded, looking ahead. “Feels as if... something really bad is going to happen.”

Luz looked at Amity.

“Because of the nothing?”

“Yes - they,” Amity closed her eyes tight a moment. “They never let me win - there’s always some kind of retaliation. Always, always, always. The nothing makes me think it’s going to be something big.”

“Do you think they’re gonna try to get your diary again?”

Amity closed her eyes tight.

“They better not try sneezing powder when you’re on your period again, I swear to god if they do that - “ Luz glanced at Amity and saw her face turn crimson. She quickly shifted to a different gear. “Whatever it is, I’m with you.” She grabbed Amity’s hand and squeezed it tight.

“Thanks...”

They walked on in silence for a moment.

“Have your parents... been in touch?”

“No.” Amity’s face fell further.

“I’m sorry, querida...”

“I’m so tired of thinking about all this!” Amity said, sounding half-way between anxious and exasperated. “I’m tired of being tense, I’m tired of being scared, I’m tired of being - just - something for them to play with. Lilith says - she says all little girls deserve to be seen and heard and held and they just don’t and she never says I’m a bother or that I should just ignore Ed and Em when they’re teasing me - ” she closed her eyes again. “I don’t want to go back to my family and just be... Mittens again.”

“Well, who says you have to go back?” Luz said, sounding affronted.

“But they’re my family.”

“So?”

“I can’t just... leave.”

“Why not?”

“Where would I go?” Amity shrugged and shook her head.

“Lilith’s house! Or we could share a room! There’s space for another bed now.”

“What about school? My clothes? Money?”

Luz looked at her friend with worried eyes.

“I don’t know, but I’m sure it’d be okay - Lilith and Eda aren’t going to let you just... become homeless. You’re practically living with Lilith already! She really likes you!”

“I really like her too,” she said in a quiet voice. “I... I wish I could stay with her forever.”

“I’m pretty sure she wants that too, you know. She seems, like, happier every time I see her. Not that I knew her from before, really, but - like, I must have heard her laugh at least three times by now.”

Amity smiled sadly, remembering how Luz had made Lilith laugh the evening of the fight.

“She, like, goes all gooey when she looks at you,” Luz giggled.

“’Gooey’?”

“Yeah! Like... like how my auntie looks at her new baby.”

Amity made a sputtering sound.

“Not saying you’re a baby!” Luz hurried to add. “It’s just the same gooey look! All soft and warm and... like... like she could look at you all day and not get tired of it. Or like she’d tell everyone at work super proudly that you learned to sing the alphabet song. You know... mom-type stuff.”

“R-really?” Amity felt her face go very warm.

Mom-type stuff. She said mom -type stuff.

“Yeah!” Luz smiled at her brightly. “Someone who looks at you like that isn’t going to let you become homeless.”

“Thanks for saying that,” Amity breathed out and squeezed Luz’s hand. She still looked sad and worried.

“Hey,” Luz pulled on Amity’s hand to slow her down, then they both stopped. “Whatever’s coming, we got you, okay?” She turned her head to the side to catch Amity’s eye. Amity looked up at her. “Okay?”

Two weeks ago, it would not have been possible, but today, right now, right here - Amity felt reassured. She felt seen. She felt heard. Even if... even if they did something terrible, it’d somehow be alright. For a moment, she knew it for certain.

“Okay...”

“Good!” Luz smiled and nodded firmly, as if things had now been written in stone and could never be challenged or doubted ever again. Amity let out a breath of laughter, then embraced Luz and gave her a tiny, lightning quick kiss on the cheek.

Luz felt as if she had just been struck by lightning. She made a happy squeak, then hugged Amity back and lifted her off her feet for a second.

“You - are - too - cute!” she giggled into Amity’s ear. “Come on! Let’s go get cake! My treat!”

“But you paid la-last time,” Amity panted, feeling the blush spread to the tips of her ears. She couldn’t believe her own daring.

“You can just get the next two times!” Luz beamed at her brightly. “Deal?”

“O-hokay deal,” Amity laughed nervously.

“MmmmmI need to run around for a bit - you wanna race?! First one to that big tree over there, three two one go!” Luz sprinted off before Amity could even process the question.

She stood and stared after Luz, lost for words, but strangely happy.

“Woo!” Luz cheered, taking a leap off a fallen tree trunk. She reached the tree, then turned around and ran back toward Amity. "That wasn’t fair, you’ve got your books and everything.” Luz rubbed her neck in slight embarrassment. Her cheeks were glowing - Amity didn’t know if that was because of the run or because of something else.

They both giggled, then started walking toward town again.

21

They got their drinks and snacks to go, since they were running a little late. When they arrived at the Book Nook, there was already a long line. People kept adding to it rather quickly. They hurried to the back and grinned excitedly at each other.

“Oh man, I love the energy on a launch day!” Luz said with a big grin. “I stood in line for six hours to get the fourth Azura book!”

“I want to read it all tonight, but I don’t think there’s time, oh, why did they have to do it on a Wednesday? I have to get up tomorrow.”

“I don’t,” Luz wiggled and stuck out her tongue.

“Yes you do,” Amity giggled. “You have to leave when Lilith and I do.”

“Oh, right. But we could do without one night of sleep, right?”

“Right?” Amity said it hopefully.

“Arrrggghhhh I can’t wait to find out what happens with the chalice of destiny! I totally want Timtams to be the one who gets to take it to the tower of Ipselon. Not Grem, he’s a snake.”

“I think it’ll be Fredonia who gets picked,” Amity said with a raised eyebrow.

“Um, excuse me, you can’t think Fredonia would be worthy to carry the chalice of destiny to its rightful resting place?” the girl in front of them in line said as she turned around.

“Uh yeah, she’s the one who made it possible to even get in to the temple in the first place,” Amity countered.

“But she’s an ogre.”

“So?” Luz joined in, looking at the girl with raised eyebrows.

“Ogres are not even welcome in the tower of Ipselon.”

“The prophecy clearly states that the bearer must ‘be of virtue fine and noble line’ and that’s Fredonia. Or Timtams,” Amity said, crossing her arms.

“Um, actually - “

The lively discussion carried them through the remaining time until the launch party started. Once the doors were opened people moved quickly and the girl who they had been talking to disappeared into the crowd. When they entered the store there were a bunch of signs that said ‘NO SPOILERS!’.

The girls got their books and paid for them, then stood in the queue to get them signed. Amity could barely keep herself from diving in the second she picked up the book, but they had made a pact that they wouldn’t start reading until they were back at Lilith’s place. But they could read the back cover and the book jacket. And the dedication.

“Oh, the author dedicated it to her grandmother,” Amity said softly.

“Aww, that’s so sweet. What do you want her to write in your book? I want her to say ‘To Luz, my first human fan’!” Luz swept out her arm dramatically.

“I don’t know, just ‘To Amity’, I guess?”

“Yeah? Not, ‘To Amity, defender of Fredonia’?” Luz waggled her eyebrows.

“That’d be great but isn’t that too long?”

“It’s just five words! Mine’s six! If she says no, she says no. Ooh, look!” Luz pointed to a sign that a clerk was just putting up next to the line. It read:

‘Maximum dedication length: 10 words’

“We’re in the clear!”

The closer they got to the author, the more nervous Amity got.

“Hi!” Luz said and bounded forward when it was their turn. “Could you make it out to: Luz, my first human fan? Luz spelled L, U, Z. Oh and could you sign it with this?” She held out the sparkle thing.

“Human, huh?” The gray skinned, four armed witch said with a raised eyebrow. “Nice to meet you, human.”

“Nice to meet you too!” Luz held out her hand and they shook hands and the author took the sparkle thing. “This is my friend Amity!” She waved Amity over while the author signed her book and handed her the pen back.  

“Hello there.”

Amity managed some sort of squeak as she held out her book.

“Could you make it out to: Amity, defender of Fredonia?” Luz said helpfully.

“Fredonia fan are we?” the author smiled at Amity. “Think you’re going to like this one.” She signed the book with a flourish, then gave Amity a little wink.

“’nk you,” Amity clutched the book to her chest, smiled in amazement, then hurried off to the side, Luz in tow.

“Thank you!” Luz said and waved. The author waved back.

“She - she winked at me!” Amity said breathlessly as they joined the crowd on the other side of the room.

“I know!” Luz wiggled happily on the spot. “What do you think she meant about Fredonia? What if your theory is correct!”

“That would be... amazing.”

“D’you just wanna go read right now?” Luz asked, bouncing on her heels.

“Yeah, kinda?” Amity giggled.

“Me too! But I gotta pee first, like so bad!”

“Me too! There’s a bathroom over there.” She pointed behind Luz.

They went to stand in line, whispering excitedly about their theories and swearing they would not read while they were in the bathroom.

Once they got in to the multi-stalled bathroom, the buzz of conversation in the store became muffled. People we scurrying to wash their hands, balancing books on the sinks, holding them awkwardly under their arms or even more awkwardly; in their mouths. Both Amity and Luz were glad they had their bags with them. Two people came out of the stalls next to each other and the girls hurried inside.

Luz heard the ‘flaff’ of a page being turned.

“Amity are you reading?” she asked with a grin.

“No? Are you?”

“Nope, must be someone else,” Luz giggled. “How long do you think it takes to get to Lilith’s from here?”

“Ten minutes maybe?”

“Okay, good! Eleven minutes until we can read, then.”

“Say fifteen; we’ve got to get out of the store, too.”

“Right, let’s get a wiggle on, then!”

Amity let out an amused huff. “I need a minute.”

“Okiday!” Luz finished up, pulled up her leggings and shorts, then went to unlock the door. When she pushed on it, it didn’t open. She looked down and twiddled the lock, then noticed the heels of a pair of boots on the other side of the stall door.

Is... someone blocking the door? Why in the world would someone be blocking the door? There was a line of people behind us -

Her chest went suddenly cold. Without making a sound, she leaned over slightly and peeked through the crack on the side of the door. Through the two millimeter gap, and over the shoulder of the person standing in front of her door, she saw a woman in a long green cloak and hood. She gestured silently to people Luz couldn’t see. She had a scar stretching over one eye. Luz stifled a gasp as the cloaked woman pointed directly at her door.

This is probably really bad, Luz thought in a daze. What - what do I do?