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Being Frank Castle's surrogate daughter would include...

Notes:

A/N: AU where Amy never left and Billy's a good guy because I do what I want! Everybody's happy, dammit!

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- You and Amy get along very well

- Frank half expected the two of you to constantly be at each other's throats, but no

- Instant best friends

- Amy asks him to teach both of you how to fight, and he straight up teaches you both Krav Maga

- You pick it up a lot faster than Amy does, so you play-fight a lot when Frank's not home

- Call it practice

- At one point, the two of you manage to spring up on him and take him down when he comes home

- At least, that's what you and Amy think happened

- In reality, Frank was way too tired to deal with the two of you, so he just let it happen

- You got a lecture later

- Frank's a little rough sometimes

- But you both understand that all he wants is for the two of you to be safe

- He'd never forgive himself if anything happened to you two

- Moving right on, Frank kinda sucks at cooking

- Okay, really sucks at it

- Though he occasionally enjoys barbecuing outside in the summer

- Anyway, it falls on you and Amy to cook most of the time

- Frank buys the ingredients, you and Amy cook

- Your go-to meals?

- Dinosaur nuggets and smiley french fries

- The first time you made them, Frank had just gotten home from getting his ass handed to him

- Er, sorry, I meant kicking ass

- No, I didn't

- So you and Amy tossed everything in the deep-fryer and sat on the couch

- "What the hell is this?"

- "Dinosaur chicken nuggets? What, did you get hit in the head?"

- Frank throws a pillow at your head but settles down with his food and his beer bottle to watch Frozen 2 with the two of you

- Movie nights are very common between the three of you

- Well, five when Curtis and Billy join the party

- Frank hosts horror nights, you and Amy host animated, Billy hosts gore nights and Curtis...

- Curtis just plays whatever he feels like watching on that day

- Whether it be The Incredibles or the entirety of the Saw saga

- Speaking of Curtis, he takes you and Amy out all the time

- Breakfast at the diner on Tuesdays, the movies on Fridays

- Sometimes he'll just stop by the apartment and drag the two of you out of bed to go to those free concerts at the park

- Hell, he'll drag Frank out too

- Last time it was some band playing country music

- You all ended up inhaling as many hot dogs as you possibly could

- Frank got you and Amy slushies, too

- It was the best day

- Now, Billy

- He seriously spoils you and Amy

- Takes you to the amusement park whenever you two want to go

- Even if it means he has to miss a meeting

- Besides, meetings are sooo boring

- Billy actually takes you and Amy wherever you want to go

- Most of the time he does it just to spite Frank

- Because with FRANK

- "Hey, Frank! Can we go-" "No."

- But with BILLY

- "Hey, Uncle Billy! Can we go-" "What did your dad say?" "...He said no." "Alright. Where are we going?"

- He can't say no

- Well, he can

- He just doesn't want to

- No, but seriously, Billy is the best uncle

- He gives pretty good advice whenever he can

- And scares off the boys at your door

- He can be real scary when he wants to be

- Never to you and Amy unless y'all screw up

- But most of the time with Billy, he'll just squeeze you and smother you in kisses

- He's so embarrassing

- God bless

- Dinah and Karen are like your cool aunts

- Well, Karen's mostly the cool aunt

- Dinah... She tries, but she's protective by nature so

- It's hard

- They take you shopping a lot

- And their fitting-room feedback? Phenomenal

- They help you find Frank a gift for Father's Day

- You and Amy decide on a mug with a dill-shaped handle that says you're kinda a big dill"

- Because it's fucking hilarious

- Frank pretends to hate it at first but refuses to use another mug after that

- He'll even take it with him on his stake-outs

- It's kinda funny

- Frank doesn't want you around when he's working

- Even though he knows you're both adults and can take care of your own damn selves

- He doesn't like dragging you into his messes

- Plus, you and Amy already have a talent for getting in trouble

- You've both gotten like, super good at sneaking out

- Most of the time you sneak out because you want to go to 7-Eleven to get slurpees and an insane amount of candy

- When you come back, Frank's waiting at the door with his arms crossed

- Because it's 3 fucking am and the two of you weren't home

- HOWEVER, you can easily shut him up if you bring him a slurpee

- Well, he'll still be grumpy but significantly less so

- All in all, your little family is far from perfect, yeah

- But you wouldn't change it for the world

- Neither would Amy or Frank

- Well, at least not until Frank finds out about the goldfish in the bathtub

- But you'll worry about that later