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Bokuto Koutarou is excited and happy to finally get the chance to play at the park. There’s this playground there, and his mom has promised him to take him to check it out on the weekend. Now that it’s finally Saturday, he’s bouncing with excitement. This type of behavior is nothing new from him – he’s been like this ever since he was born; excited, loud and absolutely full of energy. His parents find it hard to keep up with him, but somehow they manage.
As soon as Bokuto and Mrs Bokuto arrive at the park two streets away from their house, there are a few children playing on the playground. Mrs Bokuto tells her son to go and have fun, to be careful and to not get out of the playground.
She doesn’t have to say twice.
For a while, he does have fun. There are two other kids there, and they play with him, but Bokuto doesn’t find them interesting. He hangs with them for a bit and loses interest, feeling bored by their company. He decides to go on the swing for a bit, and as soon as he sits down, he notices another kid next to him. This one hadn’t been playing with them, and he’s just sitting there, looking at the ground shyly.
Bokuto is immediately intrigued. He smiles brightly at the boy and says cheerfully, “hi! I’m Bokuto Koutarou!”
The kid’s eyes widen, and he glances at Bokuto briefly, before looking at his feet again. “I’m Akaashi Keiji,” he replies quietly after a moment. Bokuto beams.
“Kei-ji!” he tries, and smiles brilliantly again. “Keiji! Let’s play!”
Akaashi looks at him with a passive face, yet with a hint of fear there. Bokuto is still smiling, swinging softly and looking expectantly at the other boy. Akaashi feels nervous, since he doesn’t have any friends – he’s almost five and doesn’t go to school yet –, but he wants to play with him.
“Okay,” he says softly and gives Bokuto a small smile. “Kou-ta-rou.”
Bokuto beams and gets up, grabbing him by the arm. “We’re gonna be best friends, Keiji!”
Akaashi hopes for it.
.
Akaashi is seven when Bokuto mentions volleyball for the first time. They both go to the same elementary school, but Bokuto is one year older. Yet, that doesn’t stop them from seeing each other daily; they go to school together, walk home together, eat lunch together, play after school together, do their own homework together. They absolutely spend as much time as they can with each other and Bokuto is proud to call Akaashi his best friend for two years now.
At first, poor Akaashi had been terrified of scaring Bokuto away with his shy and apathetic demeanor, but if anything it made Bokuto more determined to get small reactions from his friend. He’s thankful, because Bokuto makes him step out of his comfort zone still even making him get a warm feeling on his chest, and Akaashi is slowly improving. He even made friends this year in his classroom!
Either way, when Bokuto mentions volleyball, Akaashi is immediately curious.
“Wanna play sometime, Keiji?” he asks him after school, when they’re walking home – their school is merely three blocks away and their mothers take turns picking them up. “I saw this game on TV and it was so cool! Like ‘waaa’ cool!!”
Akaashi cracks a tiny smile. Bokuto is very funny, he thinks, and he likes him like this anyway. “Okay,” he agrees and looks over to his mom. “Can we play volleyball today?”
Mrs Akaashi ponders for a second. “I need to get a volleyball for you first. How about we go shopping for one this weekend? You two can start by watching some games on TV if you want!”
Bokuto cheers and grabs Akaashi’s hand, smiling widely. “Let’s watch tons and play a lot, ‘kay, Keiji?”
Akaashi nods and lets his smile get a bit bigger this time. Bokuto looks even happier, more excited. “Okay.”
.
Bokuto and Akaashi become inseparable. Even though they’re one year apart – and at some point, Bokuto is ahead enough of Akaashi that he even changes schools before him –, they remain best friends through all their childhood until their teenage days.
They start playing volleyball together when they’re still kids, but as soon as they get in middle school, they join the volleyball club.
Bokuto is immediately a star, one of the most hardworking and amazing players they have. Even with 12, 13 years old, he plays so well and shows a lot of talent. But Akaashi does his best to keep up. He’s an excellent setter and his chemistry with Bokuto – blame on the years together, blame on destiny – is something else, and together they make an amazing duo that scores a lot of points on games.
But volleyball isn’t everything on their lives.
They have sleepovers, still do their homework together and go to school together. Naturally, they play volleyball whenever they can, since it’s a shared passion, but not the only passion they have. Bokuto loves owls, and he watches documentaries about animals every week. Akaashi loves reading, and he reads poetry and classic literature during his free time. They also find other common things to share, like video games and movies, things that keep their friendship’s flame alive and burning bright, their lives more intertwined than even before.
Even though they’re both young, they manage to help each other grow in different ways. Akaashi is still shy and isn’t one to share his emotions so easily like Bokuto, but Bokuto helps him learn to be a bit more open and a little less blunt. Bokuto is moody, sometimes whiny and can get upset when things don’t happen the way he wants, but Akaashi helps him understand how this behavior can and should change, and how to improve without needing to bring himself down. By the time they reach their teenage days and go to high school, they both have grown a lot and it’s mostly because of each other (their peak being when Bokuto is almost seventeen and Akaashi is almost sixteen).
Bokuto and Akaashi are inseparable. The sun and the stars, the light and the dark, the chaos and the calmness. Two opposites meet, and they fit, complete each other, like yin and yang.
.
The changes are subtle but they come anyway. Slowly, things starts altering, such as appearance, manners and even behaviors; and so the same thing happens with their relationship. As time passes, they get so close that clothes are kept in each other’s house for future sleepovers, and they know how the other works well enough that they function without words. Their trust, their base, is so strong that they keep a solid friendship through many years.
Then, it shifts.
.
First, it starts with touching.
Bokuto touches people all the time, and Akaashi is usually one avoiding it. Bokuto has always respected his space, never hugging without seeing the permission in Akaashi’s eyes or holding onto his arms without noticing if he’s comfortable with it or not. But then, in the middle of the way, Akaashi’s expression showed more acceptance to Bokuto’s touch than previously, and step by step, he welcomed every touch Bokuto had to offer with open arms.
“I don’t understand why you are so scared, Koutarou,” Akaashi whispers in the dark. He’s laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to his best friend’s ramble about the horror movie they watched a few hours ago.
“Keiji!” he whines, voice a bit trembling. “It looked very real! And it said it was based on real events, too!”
Akaashi sighs. “Koutarou, it isn’t real.”
Bokuto whimpers. Akaashi’s heart clench.
“Koutarou.”
Silence. Akaashi hears Bokuto moving.
“Kou.”
“....yeah?”
“Come here.”
The sheets rustle. Akaashi moves further to the wall, leaving an open spot for Bokuto to slide in. And he does, just a moment later. As usual, he keeps his distance, trying to respect Akaashi’s personal space – the least he wants right now is to make him uncomfortable because he wants to feel someone close to him. He feels stupid, seeking physical comfort after watching a dumb horror movie, but he can’t help it. He wants to be close to Akaashi.
“Are you okay?” Akaashi speaks so lowly that Bokuto barely hears. But then, he had been expecting his best friend to give him the ok, so he could relax against the sheets and talk to him a bit. And this was his way of saying it, of not speaking the words but implying them in a way Bokuto would surely understand.
“Yeah,” he whispers back, voice small but there. “Thanks, Keiji.”
Akaashi hums and they are quiet for a moment. Laying side by side, not touching but feeling the other’s heat. Bokuto is unmoving, waiting for Akaashi to settle in on his small bed with another person, so he could do the same. But when Akaashi moves, it’s closer , and suddenly Bokuto doesn’t know how to breathe anymore.
Their arms touch. Akaashi’s hand find Bokuto’s own hand in the darkness. Bokuto releases the breath he had been holding.
“It’s okay,” Akaashi murmurs. “I’ve got you, Kou. I’ll protect you from evil.”
Bokuto huffs a laugh, but squeezes the hand holding his own softly. It feels safe, warm and good to be surrounded by Akaashi’s warmth, to be inside his bubble, where things suddenly work and even make sense. It’s the feeling he seeks desperately, he notices abruptly.
They sleep holding hands.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this, Keiji?” he asks for the nth time and Akaashi almost rolls his eyes with exasperation.
“If I weren’t, don’t you think I wouldn’t have told you? Come on, Koutarou. Let’s go home.”
Hesitantly, Bokuto gets under the umbrella he is going to share with Akaashi on the way home. Of course, waking up late even for practice and not checking the weather made him forget to bring his own umbrella. Akaashi’s one is big enough for him, but still small for two growing teenagers, it doesn’t matter if they’re not that big.
Their shoulders brush and Bokuto is reminded of the day they slept holding hands months previously. Akaashi doesn’t shy away from his touch, doesn’t try to step away. He comes closer, sides touching and scolds him.
“Be careful not to get wet. I don’t want you to get sick.”
The rain is cold, but Akaashi’s warmth is enough to make Bokuto feel hot until the tip of his toes.
It’s their first time playing together in high school. Akaashi is finally at Fukurodani volleyball high school team as well. They score a point, Akaashi’s setting adapted perfectly to Bokuto’s spiking.
Instead of a high five, Akaashi hugs him briefly.
The touching burns on their skins for hours.
His hand lingers on Akaashi’s shoulder. He doesn’t shake it off, doesn’t shy away from it. Bokuto’s hand stays still there until they have to move.
They walk closer than normally.
“Is it normal, Keiji? For us to touch more now?”
“....well, we’re best friends. It’s a natural development, I think.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“I’m always right, Koutarou.”
“Hey!”
They sleep glued to each other. Akaashi’s hand lies on Bokuto’s own hand, the one hanging on Akaashi’s stomach. He’s hugging Akaashi from behind, his face hidden between his dark hair. They don’t talk about it.
Breathing slowly, with soft ‘goodnight’s, they sleep and avoid the growing elephant in the room.
Then, it’s the staring.
Their eyes linger on each other’s gaze for longer than normal, slowly becoming a staring contest of which one of them would drop the bomb first; who would be the one to have the guts to question this change; who would actually acknowledge what is happening and confront the other about it.
“Uh? Do I have something on my face?”
Akaashi startles with Bokuto’s question, eyes diverging to the floor. He isn’t sure why he had been staring, but there is something about Bokuto’s face that makes him want to stare a bit longer. Like he’s drawn to it.
“Sorry,” he apologizes, not feeling sorry at all. Maybe for being caught, but not for looking. “I was thinking and you just unfortunately happened to be in my line of vision.”
Bokuto pouts. “Mean.”
Akaashi laughs quietly.
They exchange soft stares. Laying side by side on Bokuto’s bed, they just look at each other quietly, admiring, just observing the other’s face. Neither of them acknowledge this, neither of them speak a word about it. They simply do it.
“Hey,” Akaashi finally whispers softly, minutes after they got quiet and staring.
“Hey,” Bokuto answers back after Akaashi’s silence urges him to.
They don’t speak anymore. They stare, look and wonder. Time passes by. They just lay there and stare.
“Why are you looking at me like this?”
Bokuto blinks, breaking out of his own thoughts. Akaashi is looking at him with amusement in his eyes, his book still on his hands. Immediately, Bokuto feels himself flush.
Because you’re beautiful, he thinks and becomes beet red.
“N-Nothing, Keiji!”
Akaashi laughs quietly. “If you say so.”
Quick looks, lingering glances, intense stares; everything counts and makes the situation more natural, which is unusual for both of them. It’s a situation though, and as much as they ignore it, it’s still a thing. And it grows, bringing a tension with it, creating something more and bigger between the two boys.
But they don’t mind it. It’s not uncomfortable, so they let it be. The feeling between them grows, but so does the time that the looks last, and somewhere along the way, they acknowledge it inside their own minds and move on.
Finally, but not the least important, it’s how their words become heavy with meaning and their actions bring out the change of feelings faster than they would even expect.
It’s how, suddenly, Akaashi leans more on Bokuto or how Bokuto buys Akaashi his favorite meat bun without even thinking twice. How Bokuto knows exactly what to do or say when Akaashi is feeling anxious – which, in Akaashi’s opinion, should seem natural but it seems like it’s more – or how Akaashi has always the right words on his sleeve to bring Bokuto’s mood up again.
“Keiji?”
Akaashi hums, his fingers threading through Bokuto’s hair. He has never done this before, and his heart is racing inside his ribcage, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t stop. Even though he feels like he’ll pass out because of how fast his heart beats, he refuses to stop.
“Yeah?” he asks softly, Bokuto shuffling in his arms.
“Thank you,” he whispers, hiding his face in Akaashi’s chest. He inhales, pulling some air into his screaming lungs, and smiles softly while still threading his fingers through Bokuto’s hair. It’s soft, gelled and it smells like soap.
“Anytime, Kou,” Akaashi whispers back as an answer, kissing the top of Bokuto’s hair for a second. He barely has time to panic, because then Bokuto clings onto him harder and Akaashi feels like his embarrassment was worth it.
If he can be the person Bokuto relies on, a little embarrassment is worth it.
“Did you understand what I said at least? You were spacing you, Koutarou.”
Bokuto blinks, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry, Keiji.”
“You don’t sound sorry at all,” he mumbles and Bokuto barks a laugh.
“Yeah, I’m not,” he admits and gives Akaashi a huge smile. “You had this look on your face and it was so cute, I just couldn’t focus!”
Akaashi blushes, and averts his gaze to the floor. Bokuto continues talking though, much to his own dismay.
“You’re very gorgeous, Keiji, have I said that?”
There’s a beat of silence, one that Akaashi looks at Bokuto, and they both stare at each other. Something builds between them, something like a tension, but not enough to make either of them act upon it.
“Thank you,” Akaashi murmurs and continues explaining literature to Bokuto.
Neither of them make a comment about that. But also, neither of them forget this moment happened either.
Their hands touch on the backseat of the Bokuto’s mom’s car. They allow their pinky fingers to intertwine, slowly making the other fingers mimic the smaller one.
When their hands are laced, palms glued, they don’t talk and don’t mention it. If anything, they squeeze their hands a bit harder.
.
Things don’t change on any special day, they don’t take a drastic turn; in fact, things just happen naturally.
It’s another Saturday, just another day of sleepovers between Bokuto and Akaashi, and both boys are hiding in Bokuto’s room – futon on the floor, Akaashi and Bokuto piled up on Bokuto’s small bed. They’re watching a volleyball match on Bokuto’s laptop, Akaashi laying on Bokuto’s chest and the laptop being on Bokuto’s legs.
Perhaps it shouldn’t feel natural. Perhaps childhood friends aren’t supposed to cuddle with each other. Perhaps they’re crossing a line, diving into an unknown territory, one that surpass all the friendship lines. But perhaps it’s what they wish for deep inside, to arrive at a certain level of intimacy that just a common friendship would never offer them. So, neither of them talk about it or mention it. All the little signs they have been giving each other of an evolving relationship are unmentioned, and things just flow from there.
“That was a good spike,” Akaashi murmurs, hugging tighter Bokuto’s torso. “I bet you can do that spike as easily as he did.”
Bokuto huffs a laugh. Akaashi frowns and turns his head, so he rests his chin on Bokuto’s chest, looking at him. “I mean it, Kou.”
“Keiji, uh…”
“I know you doubt yourself sometimes, but I believe in you. You’re amazing.”
Akaashi watches Bokuto swallow dry. “Thanks,” he finally whispers and Akaashi nods, going back to his previous position.
After the game is over, they fumble around to get on their beds, Bokuto putting away his laptop. But before Akaashi can go to his futon, Bokuto grabs his arms and gives him a begging look. Akaashi doesn’t need to ask for vocal confirmation about what he suspects from Bokuto’s eyes – he wants to be close tonight, and Akaashi can do this much for him.
They lay down next to each other, close enough that they’d be able to count stars in each other’s eyes if the lightning in the room was enough – a streetlamp and moonlight doesn’t allow them more than shadow figures and some distinguishable body parts. Face to face, breathing giving away their state of awareness.
“Sleep, Kou,” Akaashi whispers, his breath warm, close to Bokuto’s face. “It’s late.”
“I know,” Bokuto whispers back and his hand reaches out to cup Akaashi’s face. “Keiji?”
“Hmm?” he asks, heart beating strong and a bit faster inside his chest. Bokuto’s hand feels warm against his face. He should feel scared, feel anxious, but he’s calm and relaxed, Bokuto’s presence so ever soothing and comforting.
“Are we meant to be together forever?”
Forever, Akaashi thinks, is a long time. Forever implies promises that they might not be able to keep, feelings they might not be able to hide, to stop from growing. But forever also sounds nice and right inside his head, because if he had to spend the rest of his living days next to anyone, it would be, without one single doubt, with Bokuto. It doesn’t matter the nature of their relationship, as long as they’re together.
But laying next to him, faces so close, Akaashi growing used to the darkness just enough that he can see the shining emotions swimming in Bokuto’s eyes, he realizes that what they want, what they seek, is mutual. And perhaps it has always been, perhaps it hasn’t, but right now they know it, and they’re ready to embrace it.
Consequences will come. They will have to deal with a lot of changes. A lot of talking will need to be done. But, when Akaashi leans in and brushes his lips softly against Bokuto’s, feeling his friend’s own lips move against his own, he realizes he doesn’t care about what’s next. As long as he gets to have him in any way, anywhere, Akaashi realizes he’ll do anything and everything to keep this happiness that bubbles inside his chest last forever.
To make it happen in Bokuto’s chest as well.
“Yeah. Forever.”
His promise isn’t empty. It’s hopeful, it’s honest, and he vows to fight for it.
Forever .