Work Text:
“One, two, three.”
Clap.
The applause that marked the moment to synchronize the audio resounded in the environment. They were sitting next to each other in the room Phil used to record his videos. He was sitting in a chair with the painting his partner had made trying to follow a Bob Ross tutorial in front of his face. Hiding his face until he finished introducing him was one of Phil's ideas for the video they were filming. It seemed silly to Dan, everyone was able to recognise him without seeing his face, but he couldn't say no to his boyfriend, he had never been able to.
"Hey guys!" Phil greeted the camera in his well-practiced video voice “Today I’m joined by an extra special secret guest.”
"They already know who I am Phil," Dan replied with a false annoyance in his voice, only to annoy him.
"Shush, I haven't introduced you yet," he said, raising his tone, clearly continuing the joke. “You can't speak.”
"They've already seen the thumbnail."
"They might not have noticed you."
"Yeah, sure they didn't notice." Sarcasm flowed clearly in his voice.
"Whatever, it's Dan!"
“It's me! How disappointing,” he said as he removed the painting from his face.
"Don't say that, I'm sure they're excited to see you," Phil replied, looking directly at him, but before Dan could say anything, he turned to head the camera. "Isn't that right guys?"
Phil wasn’t lying, most likely they were excited. It had been a long time since they had published anything together. Dan knew how much his audience missed seeing them together and this was a perfect video to return. Even so, he had to maintain the facade because of his ‘branding’ and all that.
“Ok Phil, What are we going to do today?”
The question was just rhetoric. A way to start with the topic of the video. Dan knew exactly what they were going to do. After all, they had spent the last two weeks planning it.
"Today we are going to play a little game called ..." he paused for a second to look at him. "A drum roll please."
Continuing with his feigned annoyance, Dan rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and began to hit his leg. Later, while editing, they could add a sound effect to go along with it.
"SPhilit Danimal or not." Phil said, doing jazz hands.
“Phil! You can't call it that. It’s the worst name ever.”
The name of the game was something completely new to him. They hadn't agreed on what to call it, and after hours of brainstorming trying to find an interesting idea, Dan had given up and left the matter for Phil to handle. No wonder he had chosen a silly pun.
“But it's great!” Phil began to defend his idea fiercely. Dan could tell how he was exaggerating a bit for the camera “It's a pun on our names.”
"Nah mate, it’s shit. That is what it is.”
As soon as those words came out of his mouth, Dan could imagine the waterfall of comments saying that he was always so mean to Phil and complaining about his attitude. Although he had made it clear several times that anything he said in a video was a joke, a large part of his audience didn’t seem to understand.
He was about to ask him to re-record that part, to avoid any inconvenience, but Phil's response stopped him.
"Well, it's my game so it can be called whatever I want." The childish tone, of a spoiled brat, he used to say that phrase left no room for interpretation.
With a simple shift in his voice Phil had managed to strengthen the jovial tone of the conversation. Dan was still amazed at how easy it was to record together. Phil always knew how to enhance him with his words and managed to present him in the best way without having to edit his behavior. It was one of the many reasons why he loved him. If it weren't because the camera was rolling and a jump cut would look extremely suspicious, he'd kiss him right then and there.
"Alright then, explain the game."
"Since we've never talked about our spirit animals on our channels," Phil started saying, looking directly at the camera, "I thought we could make a little game to reveal them."
"Okay, that sounds about right."
"I'm going to read an attitude or personality trait and we have to figure out if it's related to our spirit animals or not. For each correct guess we get one point. Whoever has the most points at the end of the video wins a mysterious prize.”
"Ohh, do I even want to know what it is?"
"Wait and see Danny-boy." He replied, winking at the camera.
Cheeky little bastard, there was no way he didn't know the reaction that nickname was going to trigger in their fans. There was no way he didn't know the reaction it was triggering in him. The smile that adorned his lips was clear proof.
“Well, should we get started?” Dan asked, trying to mask a little the fondness in his voice.
"Wait, wait, wait," he said, waving his open hand vigorously in front of his face, "we can't start without first saying which are our animals. Do an impersonation.”
“What?”
"Impersonate your animal so the people at home can guess."
And there it was back again, another of Phil's silly ideas. Every time he had the chance to do animal impersonations, he would take it. Dan had never been particularly good impersonating — not like Phil was either— and his spirit animal wasn't an easy one. How was he supposed to do it?
After thinking for a second, Dan rested his arms against his torso and without taking them off he started clapping making exaggerated movements with his hands while shaking his head slightly. It was the only way he could think of how to represent his spirit animal. He was definitely going to make him pay for making him make a fool of himself on camera again.
"I hate my life," he said, rolling his eyes as he continued his impersonation.
"A moose, a walrus, a constipated goose," Phil began to guess, looking directly at him.
"A constipated goose?" Dan stopped his impersonation to attend to his partner's last sentence. "Are you kidding me? Also you already know what it is.”
"It's a seal!" He exclaimed looking at the camera with a smile on his face “did you guys guess it?”
"Well mate, now is your turn.”
Phil flexed his arms against his body and began to move his hands as if they were two small wings as he shook his head. Dan could hardly contain his laughter at the sight of his partner's attempt at a woodpecker.
“Phil! That looks like a hummingbird.”
“Oh! You're right," he replied as he gave the camera one of those smiles where his tongue stuck out between his teeth. “Let me try again.”
This time Phil stretched out his arms a bit as he flapped with them and moved his head back and forth, imitating the pecking of the bird that represents his spirit. It wasn't much better than the last attempt, but at least this time someone could figure it out.
"It's a woodpecker!" Phil commented as he finished his imitation. "Those who guessed it earn an afternoon full of cuddles with a lot of puppies."
Dan couldn't continue to contain his laughter. A loud cackle came from his mouth and Phil didn’t take too long in accompanying him. It wasn't really funny but to Dan, Phil trying his best to portray his spirit was just hilarious. A few minutes later his fit of laughter finally quelled, leaving only those two giants looking directly into each other's eyes.
No matter how many times he had seen them throughout the years, Dan always found those eyes mesmerizing. The small wrinkles that formed from the laughter, the long eyelashes, those irises, a mixture of light blue, green and yellow. He could spend hours watching them, getting lost in them.
He let himself get carried away by that emotion that invaded him and, without breaking eye contact, he took his partner’s hand. He didn’t really care that the camera was rolling, after all this moment was going to be cut in the edition. Phil looked down for a second when he felt the contact and gave him a sweet smile when he saw their linked hands.
"Shall we continue?" He asked in his natural voice after a few moments of silence gently caressing his hand.
"Yes, yes," Dan replied, coming out of the trance.
Phil settled into his seat a bit and pulled up a small box where he had previously put some pieces of paper with the traits and attitudes for the game. Dan started to bring his closer and had an idea. They could take advantage of the jump cut to make a small animated intro for the game. When they finished recording he would tell Phil.
"We have some questions prepared beforehand, by the way neither of us knows what the other chose." Phil's recording voice returned as he showed the box to the camera. "Do you want to start Dan?"
"Sure." He reached into the box and grabbed one of the papers. "Oh, this one is interesting. Your perfectionism usually gets in the middle of your creativity. Hmm what do you think Phil? Is this something linked to my spirit animal or not?
Phil put a hand to his chin as he thought for a moment.
"That sounds a lot like you ... but I don't see the relationship with the seals," he replied, pondering his thoughts, "I'm going to say no, it's not linked to your spirit animal."
"So you think it's just one of my many flaws? That it has no mystical explanation?”
“Don’t say it like that!” Phil scolded him a little. "It's not a flaw, it's ... a feature."
"Okay, this feature ..." He paused dramatically before revealing the answer. "It's caused by the spirit of the seal."
“What?Really? How is that a part of the seals?”
"Apparently one of the seal's skills is creativity," he shrugged. "Okay, your turn."
Phil took a piece of paper out of his own box and started reading aloud.
“ You have an innate attraction with animals . Hey what do you think Dan?”
"Well, there is certainly the primordial attraction ... but that is something that all spirit animals have. In your case it should only work with birds…” he began to deduce.
Despite learning a lot about Phil's spirit, there were still things he didn't know. The whole aspect of the primordial attraction was one of them.
“Perhaps the woodpecker is different and works with all animals?” He continued with his reasoning, "the number of strange encounters you have had with animals cannot be just a coincidence. Or is it?”
"Come on Dan!"
"Yes, it is part of your spirit animal," he answered suddenly, trying not to continue in that endless spiral of thought.
"Your answer is ... incorrect," Phil exclaimed with a smile on his face, "as you had originally thought, I can only attract birds."
Dan had never been interested in primordial attraction. From what he understood it was an innate ability that allowed to attract animals of the same class as your own spirit by channeling its energy. Living in London, he had no real opportunity to use it since, in his case, it only affected aquatic mammals. Instead Phil loved to sit on their balcony and use it to surround himself with pigeons. Not long ago one of them started showing up even when Phil wasn't using his ability.
"Dan, it's your turn." Phil's voice brought him out of his thoughts.
Dan looked at the camera and removed one of the papers from his box to continue the video.
“You don’t usually have many friends, since you value the quality of your bonds over the quantity.” He read in a serious voice “What do you think Phil? Is my lack of friends a consequence of my spirit animal?”
"That’s definitely tied to your spirit animal," Phil conjectured, very sure of his answer.
"And why do you think that?" Dan asked, genuinely intrigued by his partner's confidence.
“Fun fact. Seals, although they are social animals, unlike other aquatic mammals such as sea lions,usually stay in small groups” he began to explain his reasoning. “If we think about it in human terms, your pack would be your friends, right? That’s why I think it is because of your spirit.”
"Well Phil ... you're right."
“YES! Philly got a point,” he said cheerfully.
"Well done, you really surprised me with that one. Who would believe that your random animal facts would come in handy at some point?”
Phil only replied with a fun, light-filled smile. His partner's love manifested in his body as a heat wave emitted by that smile. Even after ten years of relationship, a sincere smile of Phil's happiness made him feel as if his stomach was invaded by thousands of pupae waiting for the right moment to open up and transform into beautiful butterflies. How could such a simple gesture unleash such emotions on his body? Dan was not interested in knowing the answer. He just wanted to keep feeling it for the rest of his life.
"Okay, my turn," he said, pulling out another piece of paper and reading it. " The diligent spirit of the woodpecker causes you to suffer from recurring headaches."
And so they went on for a while, reading characteristics of their personalities and guessing their connection to their spirit animals. They were clearly having fun filming the video. Dan could feel it was going to be a very good one and their audiences were going to enjoy it a lot too.
.
.
.
By the time they finished recording the sun was already setting through the window. Phil was putting away all the recording equipment. Starting tomorrow, the arduous process of importing the video and editing it would begin. It usually took them a couple of days to finish a video like that.
The thought made his body shudder. In two or three days the world would see his face again. They would see him in front of the camera again, along with Phil, after so many months of being away from everything.
All the fun and confidence he had had filming melted away from one second to the next. Only doubts and fears remained in his mind.
“You have not been entertaining enough, nobody cares, and everyone has forgotten you” shouted a horrible voice in his head. A voice too similar to his own.
He put all the energy he had left to ignore it. He knew it was just his inner demons trying to sabotage him. Opening his eyes, he could see his partner picking up the papers from the room floor. Dan couldn't remember when he had closed them. The image of his partner made him remember the long road he had traveled to get to that point, to feel comfortable again exposing himself to the internet.
Phil had accompanied him throughout the process. In the past few weeks he had spent hours convincing him that it was a good idea. That they could record together again and nothing bad was going to happen.
Dan believed in those words. The video was going to be a success, no matter what his sometimes dysfunctional mind said. He and Phil were a great team, a great combination. A decade ago they had been demonstrating it to the world, to themselves and they would demonstrate it for another decade if necessary.
A woodpecker and a seal, a working spirit and a procrastinating spirit. Two souls that perfectly complemented each other.