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With the ship-- not the Normandy, he refused to call it that-- docked at the Citadel, the main battery was eerily quiet. Garrus’ hands itched over the console, talons picking at the smooth surface as he waited for the next line of code to come to him. The silence instead of the steady constant hum of the engines was starting to eat at him. He couldn’t focus.
He flexed his fingers-- still nothing.
With a sigh, Garrus straightened and pulled up his Omni-tool. There had to be a piece of music he could use to break through the monotony. Scrolling through his playlists, he mused over a few before turning to an old favourite. A few bars in, he skipped to the next one. Somehow, the rhythmic beat of Bang Bang Boom wasn’t speaking to him, and neither did Expel Ten’s, Hurt Me Deeper.
A sharp exhale fell into the room as he swapped genres and turned on shuffle. Another ten songs and Garrus still couldn’t find anything that worked. Or-- at least he didn’t until he stumbled across something he didn’t recognize at first. The instrument wasn’t familiar, so when a human voice began with the lyrics, he wasn’t surprised.
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Of course, it was one of Shepard’s songs. He should’ve skipped this song, too. But couldn’t bring himself to do it. Music had been one of the only things that kept him connected to her in those years he’d thought her dead. Well, she had been dead. But now she wasn’t, and Garrus still hadn’t completely figured out how to deal with that.
His eyes closed, and Garrus let his weight rest on his hands on the console. The algorithms could wait for a handful of minutes, he supposed. The words washed over him as he listened. It was a love song-- like most human music tended to be. Intrinsically, he knew that, but the lyrics hit a bit close to home. He’d almost died in Shepard’s arms after all.
Is there any just cause for feeling like this?
The sound of the door opening broke Garrus out of his head. He turned just in time to see Shepard stepping through the entrance, a scowl on her face that quickly disappeared behind her ‘Commander Shepard’ mask. But as she stepped further into the room, he watched as she tilted her head like she was trying to hear something better.
“Shepard, need me for something?” He asked to drown out the music leaking out from his visor. He shut it off before too many words could spill into the silence.
At first, Lina shook her head, but then she replied: “Ah, yeah. Have you got a minute?”
“Sure,” Garrus shrugged. “Just checking the weapons systems. You can never be too careful.”
“We’re docked, Garrus,” she said skeptically as she found herself a spot to lean on the railing beside him. “Can’t get much more careful than that.”
She didn’t face him. Instead, Lina looked out across the length of the gun. Garrus knew her talents lay in less technical areas than this, so he wasn’t sure what she was looking for. Her hair was tied back in its typical bun, and her armour shone in the low lighting. They hadn’t been in battle today, Shepard had a meeting with the Council. By her expression and now wariness, Garrus could assume it didn’t go so well.
“I want to go out tonight,” Shepard said into the stillness between them. “Like we used to on the SR-1. Get to know the crew a little better. Are you in?”
Garrus blinked at her, stuck on the fact she couldn’t say Normandy either. “What?”
Shepard sighed and pushed off the railing. “You, me, the ground team. Drinks. Darkstar. I’ll see you there at 2100. All right?” Without really waiting for his answer, she turned and left him in the dark.
Like hell, was he going to be able to optimize firing algorithms now.
---
As the evening drew closer, Garrus started to run out of reasons not to go out. He knew it wasn’t an order, back on the SR-1, she’d never ordered anyone to the bar but always invited everyone on the primary ground team. Shepard would still be happy to see him and be disappointed with anyone who didn’t show.
He didn’t want to be a disappointment.
Which was why he disembarked the ship early enough to shop for some essentials he was sorely lacking and return in time to change and get ready. With a proper plate scrub and clothes that fit his frame rather than just his undersuit, he almost felt turian again-- almost.
It was already 2100 when he managed to get off the ship. By the time he made it to Darkstar, he’d be ‘fashionably late.’ That would have to do, Garrus supposed as he headed through Zakera ward on his way to the bar. At least the citizens made way for him, his imposing figure combined with a leather jacket and scowl tended to clear the way. If not for the scars and ever-present visor, Garrus might’ve passed for any typical turian.
Being just a bit on the early side still meant there was no line for Shepard’s bar choice yet. He passed by the krogan bouncer without issue. The alien looked bored out of his mind. Garrus didn’t see Shepard immediately as he looked around the room, taking in the budding nightlife. The music pounded louder than the daytime scene with an electronic dance theme he recognized as an upcoming quarian synthetic punk band. He could get behind that, at least.
With the transition to evening, the lights in Darkstar were lowered, signalling the beginning of the party hours. By 2300, he knew from experience it would be near pitch-black for most Citadel species. Turians would be able to see just fine, while the volus scrambled for their tables.
Spotting Taylor and Lawson first, only because they looked so wildly out of place in their Cerberus garb, Garrus made his way over to the table. He caught sight of Shepard at the bar with Joker on his way over, and when he reached them, the human man greeted him almost cordially. “Nice to see you, Vakarian.”
“Taylor, Lawson.”
“Vakarian,” Miranda nodded to him as she picked up a glass of red wine. “I didn’t expect you’d be joining us this evening.”
He shrugged with a single arm as he took a seat and declined to answer. Shepard’s description of the woman was spot on as far as he could tell. The Cerberus Operative was as frigid as a stiff Noverian wind.
Garrus busied himself with the holo-menu on the table, ordering himself a turian brandy for his troubles. Something that wasn’t too strong, he wanted to keep his wits about him, but maybe take a bit of the edge off. It had been quite some time since he’d drank anything, let alone a Palavani vintage he would actually want to sip rather than some Omega swill he’d barely wanted to shoot.
Spirits, it had taken days to get the taste off his tongue last time Sensat took him drinking. Garrus’ hand hovered over the ‘confirm order’ key for a moment. His friend was dead. They’d never share a terrible bottle of horosk again.
“Garrus!” Lina exclaimed, breaking him out of his head. He looked up to see her coming to a stop beside him at the table, Joker following a few steps behind.
He shook himself out of the melancholy and hit the key before he could think anymore about the past. “Shepard, started without me, I see?”
She laughed, but not in her usual way. It was overblown, almost a guffaw. “You were late!” she accused with a drunken finger pointed at his chest. “No one else can keep up with me!”
Why was she yelling? Garrus wondered as he watched the Commander’s face. It was quite obvious she’d had a few already, even if he couldn’t smell the alcohol on her breath. She slid into the chair beside him.
Joker joined them on the other side with Jacob and Miranda.
“Couldn’t convince Zaeed to come,” Lina offered into the somewhat awkward silence. She picked up her tumbler of what certainly smelled like straight batarian ale and downed half of it. “And Mordin!” she slammed her glass down, it almost sloshed over the sides. “He wouldn’t hear it!”
“What do you expect, Shepard?” Joker asked around the lip of a cocktail tumbler. She glared at him as he gestured to the other two humans at the table. He quite heavily implied that the reason no one else wanted to come out was the Cerberus crew.
“Didn’t keep Garrus away, though,” Shepard defended, elbowing Garrus in the arm. “It’s supposed to be bonding time. Hell, if I could get Wrex and Garrus together, I can get anyone together.”
Jacob choked on his beer, trying to stifle a laugh, and Joker burst out in a solid chuckle as he raised a glass to Garrus in a mock salute. Lina groaned and buried her face in her hands. “Not like that!”
The turian sighed. Thankfully, the turian bartender chose the right moment to make herself known as she appeared at the end of the table with his drink. Garrus reached over Shepard and took his glass from the turian’s hand and thanked her before she disappeared to attend other patrons.
“So,” he tried to turn the conversation another way. “Who are we picking up next?”
“Subject Zero,” Miranda answered as she swirled her wine in a lazy circle around the base of her stemmed glass. “The arrangements have all been made.”
Garrus nodded. He’d read the files Shepard sent him, the biotic would be an excellent addition for crowd control-- something they sorely lacked in at the moment. As an engineer, Shepard liked the mid-range. It did mean they’d be very biotic heavy, though. “Any consideration of the krogan?” he asked. They could be useful for crowd control too, another heavy hitter.
“Boring!” Lina declared, having managed to brush off her momentary embarrassment. “This isn’t supposed to be for work. ” And damn could she make ‘work’ sound like a foul word. “I’m going to get another drink.”
Garrus blinked as she upended the ale, finished it in one fell swoop, and slammed her palms on the table to stand and disappear back in the direction of the bar. Across from him, Joker sighed. “Hey, uh. Garrus, I’ve got to take a leak. Join me?”
“Uh--”
Joker rolled his eyes and got up from the table with a fair amount more effort than Shepard had needed. “Come on,” he tilted his head toward the restrooms, and Garrus followed-- lamenting the loss of his nearly full glass. Only once they were out of range of the table did the pilot say: “I just need to talk to you.”
“Right, yeah,” Garrus replied a bit stupidly. Had his social skills really gotten this bad on Omega? He had to wonder. “What is it?”
They rounded the corner into the bathroom. Thankfully it was empty for the moment. “Shepard’s not acting like herself. That’s three drinks since I’ve been here. Even Wrex didn’t put that many away.”
He jerked back. “You can’t be serious. That would kill a human.”
“I’m serious, all right,” he replied, adjusting the brim of his SR-2 hat. “Shepard said it’s her new ‘Cerberus-approved’ metabolism. She can’t get drunk.”
Judging by what he’d seen in just a few minutes-- Lina could most certainly get drunk. Garrus sighed and rubbed under his fringe. Today was about to get a lot more complicated. “You’ve been around longer, is this the first time?”
Jeff shrugged. “First I’ve seen. But I think Miranda said something about a batarian bartender on Omega.”
That idiot, Forvan, immediately came into Garrus’ head, but his train of thought derailed as the music outside came to a stop mid-song. His eyes narrowed as he spun toward the entrance. That couldn’t be good.
A chant of sorts came on a moment later. Garrus could tell the voices were human, but the words made no sense. Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga.
“What the-” Garrus mumbled only to be cut off by Jeff.
“You cannot be serious!” the pilot led the way out into the bar as the chanting crested a wave and lyrics began. When they rounded the corner, Shepard could be seen at the bar, a grin as wide as a vorcha’s on her face.
I can't stop this feeling
Deep inside of me
Girl, you just don't realize
What you do to me
Joker groaned and dropped his face into his hands, much to Shepard’s amusement as she danced her way across the room to join their little group. “Guess what!” she yelled over the music. “It’s my favourite club on the Citadel! It seems a little endorsement from the first human Spectre goes a long way in the wards, even if the Council won’t give me shit.”
The turian didn’t quite know what to say, so he watched as Shepard took a sip of her drink and began singing the lyrics to herself as she sashayed badly back toward the table. “For another cup of wine.”
“So, yeah.” Joker looked from the Commander to Garrus and back. “For the love of whatever the hell is out there. Fix her.”
Garrus broke off from Joker in the direction of the bar. He needed a drink. When he arrived, he headed for the terminal and ordered another brandy-- this one far cheaper than the first. He had a feeling it too would be lost to his inattention, and the credits to his name weren’t exactly significant at the moment.
By the time he returned to the table, the humans were into a conversation about the music choice as yet another old human song blared in the background. This one he’d heard before: Another One Bites the Dust. He didn’t mind it.
“Come on, Miranda!” Lina was half-shouting. “You have got to appreciate Queen.” The Operative’s nose scrunched, and Lina crossed her arms. “At the very least, Bohemian Rhapsody.”
“No, not even that, I’m afraid.”
Lina groaned in an overblown show of disappointment. “You can’t tell me you didn’t listen to any music when you were puttin' me back together. I don’t think I’ll forgive you if my resurrection was completely silent.”
“There was music, Shepard.” Miranda adjusted in her seat, probably crossing her legs under the table. “Just not that. We listened to focus music, instrumental mostly.”
“So, what you’re telling me is nothing from the ’80s?”
Miranda pushed her hair behind her ear as she considered the question. “1980’s, I’m assuming, based on your other choices?” When Lina nodded, she continued. “Songbird, perhaps?”
"No, not that song!" Lina whined and buried her face in her hands. “Anything but that.”
The table went silent for a long moment as the outro played and the singer finished the song with a drawn-out all right. When the music shifted again, it pulled Shepard out of her slump. She perked up immediately, but it was Joker who spoke first.
“Shepard, no.”
She grinned as the upbeat music began to play. “Oh, yes.” her hands landed on the edge of the table, and she mimicked playing an instrument. “Ohh, see that girl. Watch that scene. Digging the dancing queen!”
Before anyone could argue, Lina was out of the booth and headed for the dance floor. The rest of the crew left behind could only watch as Shepard began to show off her absolutely terrible moves. Garrus was too stunned to say anything. He’d seen Shepard attempt to dance before, but nothing could quite compare to absolutely plastered Lina attempting to dance now as she sang along with the lyrics.
“She is most certainly not the dancing queen,” Miranda mumbled around the lip of her wine glass, finishing the red drink off. “We’re departing early tomorrow. See to it she’s on the ship,” she said to no one in particular as she stood and left.
Jacob looked between the remaining two men at the table. “You know, I think that might be my cue too.” He finished the last swig of his beer. “Good luck with that.”
Left alone with only the pilot, Garrus was at a bit of a loss. The club was only getting busier as the night went on, leaving less space to maneuver and more potential for incidents to occur. Shepard didn’t seem to care about her dignity anymore, her ‘dancing’ having devolved into mindless flailing than anything resembling a rhythm. At the very least, it seemed to scare off any would-be partners.
She's a maniac, maniac on the floor (I sure know)
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
“So,” Jeff began. Garrus could see him gesturing vaguely in Lina’s direction. “What’s the game plan?”
Garrus considered his options. Judging by the smile on Lina’s face, she wasn’t going to leave voluntarily. And he wasn’t about to abandon her. No way in hell was going to do that again. “Wait until she gets tired?” he suggested.
Joker chuckled. “You ready to be here for a week?”
Humming in discontent, Garrus flicked his mandible at the human. “I don’t hear you coming up with any bright ideas.”
When the music shifted this time, Lina turned toward the table. The smile on her face brightened as she saw them and, much to his dismay, waved them over. Garrus shook his head just a little, enough that Lina’s smile dropped and she turned back to the rest of the dancers. That sad expression hit him like a charging krogan.
“Damn it,” he growled. Garrus’ brandy went down in a single swallow. He stood to full height and left Joker behind as he began to weave his way through the crowd.
From the way Shepard started to move, he knew she liked this one. The dance floor was packed now, but he could hear her singing along with the lyrics once he got close. “ And when the night falls, loneliness calls.”
He stopped behind her, and Lina seemed to sense that someone was nearby. She turned, ready to fight, but relaxed as soon as she realized who was standing there. Garrus could feel the warmth of her body as she took a step closer to avoid another dancer and was nearly in his arms.
Oh, I wanna dance with somebody
I wanna feel the heat with somebody
Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody
Lina’s smile returned, and her cheeks flushed pink when Garrus offered her his hand. She took it.
With somebody who loves me
It was too late to stop now, Garrus pulled Shepard into his arms despite the lyrics and began to do just that. Her back was against his chest, and he was damn glad she couldn’t see his face. Garrus’ throat flushed a bright blue, so dark that even in this light, he knew she’d have seen it.
He wasn’t the best dancer, but club dancing was easy enough. He could lead here, and Shepard would follow. The turian’s hips swayed with the beat, one of his hands held hers, and the other landed on her hip. He could feel the vibration of Shepard’s voice as she continued to sing along with the lyrics quietly.
At the end of the song, she twirled out to face him, and they were both breathing hard but smiling wide. The music shifted, and their foray onto the dancefloor continued.
If you like piña coladas
And getting caught in the rain
Another handful of songs and Shepard motioned her head toward the bar. Garrus agreed with a nod and followed her through the throngs of people. Lina flagged the bartender instead of heading for the terminal, and the turian acknowledged her with a grin and waggled brow plates.
It's raining men, hallelujah, it's raining men, amen
A few moments later, drinks appeared before them. Garrus’ was another cheap brandy, but Shepard’s didn’t look like ale this time. He sniffed and flinched at the stench of ryncol. “Since when do you drink that?” he asked, trying to be conversational instead of accusatory.
Lina didn’t seem to mind. She raised the glass in a mock-salute before taking a large swig. “Since they ran out of batarian ale!”
Garrus leaned against the bar and tapped a talon against his glass while looking across the dance floor. Everyone appeared to be having fun, no one complained about the music choice, all in all, it was a good time.
Only-- he wanted to address a lot of things about tonight: the dancing, the drinking, that look she’d given him. It made his gizzard twist even now, twenty-odd minutes later. “Shepard--”
He looked down to see Lina’s expression shift yet again. Although, this time, it wasn’t anything good. She’d gone pale. “Uh-oh.”
“Uh-oh?” he asked, turning to face her as he put his full brandy back down on the bar. “What’s wrong?”
“Mh-mm. Yep. That’s not good.”
Lina’s free hand rose to her mouth as she put her ale down on the counter. It spilled as she pushed off the surface and started jogging in the direction of the bathrooms. Garrus could already guess what happened, but he followed anyway and managed to round the corner just as the first heave hit.
He was lucky she’d chosen the closest restroom. It meant he only needed to deal with the scoffs of disgust from the other patrons rather than someone yelling at him to get out of the asari side. Garrus could only watch as Shepard emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. He supposed the bright spot was that this would mark the end of their evening before Lina could do any more damage to her liver.
When she finished, Lina flushed then leaned against the wall. She wiped her face with the back of one hand. “Uhg, that wasn’t fun.”
Garrus couldn’t help his amused huff. “What did you expect?” he asked as he reached a hand down to help her up. “Ryncol isn’t for humans.”
Again, Lina groaned.
“Let’s head back to the ship,” Garrus suggested once he had her on her feet. She gripped his arm to stay upright.
“But we were having fun!” Lina slurred as they began to walk. Apparently, not all of the alcohol was out of her system just yet. “I wanna dance more!” she drew out the last word like an annoyed fledgling.
“We can dance on the ship,” Garrus offered with a warm chuckle. This moment was almost reminiscent of the post-Battle of the Citadel party when Lina got out of the hospital. Only this time, her arm wasn’t in a sling, and she was a fair amount more intoxicated.
When they managed to get back into the hallway leading to the club, Joker was waiting for them. He stood, leaning against the wall with a sealed bottle of water in his hand. He offered it to Shepard as they passed him. Lina made a face but took it even as she leaned into Garrus for support.
“You’re still here!” she said, waving the bottle in his direction. “See, Garrus. We can still party. Screw those Cerberus assholes. We don’t need them.”
He and Jeff shared a look. Neither necessarily disagreed with the sentiment, but it didn’t exactly seem like Shepard’s meeting with the Council went particularly well earlier.
“We don’t need anybody,” Lina continued before either of them could veer the conversation away from that topic. “Least of fucking all, the C-Council. Fuck ‘em. Anderson too. What did they ever do for me, anyway? Heh. Well, there was this one thing--”
Garrus cleared his throat before he could find out what that ‘one thing’ was. “So, uh-- how did you manage to get them to play all that ‘80s music?”
“Endorsements!” Shepard replied, her voice too loud and just a hint whiny. “I did it all over the place. Just got to say: This is my favourite store on the Citadel. And boom.” She swayed as she let go of Garrus’ arm to make a sizable explosion-like gesture with her hands. “Discount. Perks. Speaking of--” she stopped dead in her tracks, pulling the turian to an abrupt halt. “I heard something about a noodle shop. Do you know the noodle shop, Garrus?”
His mandibles fluttered in confusion for a moment, and he looked to Jeff for support. The pilot seemed to know what she meant: “How about I go order some and bring them back to the ship?”
Her mouth slipped into a lazy grin. “See, this is why I love you guys. Spicy ones, please!”
The pilot veered off before Garrus could argue, and Shepard only seemed to become harder to direct without the pilot walking on her other side. At least with Jeff there, Lina had been attempting to walk straight and not run into the man. Now, it was up to Garrus to ensure they didn’t crash into anything.
Shepard didn’t seem to want to talk anymore, though, as they approached the docks, she grew silent, and her smile faded into a frown. Garrus looked down at her when they paused in the C-Sec security booth, and the Commander pulled away to stand on her own. He wasn’t sure if the alcohol was out of her system or something else was going on.
Seeing as it was quite late in the evening by now, Garrus wasn’t surprised to see very few people milling about. They slipped through C-Sec without an issue and climbed the gangplank into the ship without much fuss. Even though the bridge held only a skeleton crew, Daniels and Donnelly were quietly working at one of the terminals. They looked up as the pair entered but said nothing as they noticed the stormy expression on Shepard’s face.
Garrus called the lift and stepped in beside the Commander when it arrived. She made no move to hit the command for her quarters, so Garrus did it for them. As the door closed, he settled against the wall, and Shepard crossed her arms while leaning beside him. The elevator moved just as slow as the old SR-1’s did, so he found himself anxious to break the silence.
“You, uh--” he began almost awkwardly. “Still want another drink?”
Shepard blew out a breath through her nose and didn’t look up at him as she answered. “Yeah, that would be good.”
He’d never been up to her cabin before, and Lina led the way inside across a small landing. While he knew this floor was solely her room, Garrus still hadn’t expected it to be so large. He couldn’t help his whistle as he stepped across the threshold and took in the multi-levelled space. The fish tank, in particular, screamed of Cerberus excess.
“Nice digs.”
Shepard shrugged and used the wall panel to turn on music as she descended to the lower level and headed for the desk. It was always human music, but this was softer than usual. He quickly recognized a keyboard as he followed her and sat down on one side of the L-shape.
I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah
Reaching into a drawer, Shepard found two bottles. “Hope this one is drinkable,” she said, offering one to him.
His brow plates rose in surprise. It wasn’t cheap stuff. In fact, it was a brandy he’d only had once before-- after the Battle of the Citadel. Shepard had the bartender pour everyone a round of the most expensive item on the menu. “This must have cost a fortune,” Garrus said aloud as he ran his thumb across the label.
“May as well enjoy our blood-money,” she replied bitterly. Her bottle was new as well, and the label indicated it was an expensive bottle as well. She flicked the stopper out with her thumb and took a long swig before setting it down.
Garrus hummed in reply, agreeing with her. However, he did use one of the wine glasses on the table instead of drinking from the bottle. He figured Shepard should probably be sipping hers too, but wouldn’t judge. The song continued to play as they drank a little more, and Shepard seemed to let the words wash over her as she closed her eyes and leaned back into the couch.
I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before
You tell him goodbye.
“Is this a love song?” he asked eventually.
Shepard opened her eyes, her expression unreadable to him. “Sort of. It’s more emotional turmoil, I suppose. Caught between two worlds-- old love and new.”
“Which one does the singer choose?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged and looked away, off into the middle distance. “I guess it never really mattered before. It’s just a good song.”
Garrus took a sip of his brandy before leaning forward, with his elbows on his knees. He held his drink with his fingertips, swirling it gently. “Can’t go back,” he offered into the stagnant air between them.
“No,” she agreed and clicked her bottle against his glass and took another sip. This time, she grimaced.
He put his beverage down and took the bottle from her. “How about a glass?” he offered, and when she nodded, he poured her one. “So, Cerberus-enhanced metabolism?”
Lina crossed her arms and leaned back into the couch with a scowl on her face. “Can’t even get drunk like I want to,” she complained, and slowly, Garrus turned to look at her as if to say: “ Really, Shepard?” She turned away, her cheeks flushing pink. After a minute, she picked up her glass and drained half of it. “Shouldn’t take a barrel of ryncol, that’s all I’m saying.”
Garrus’ mandibles fluttered with nervous energy, and he fiddled with the catch of his jacket to give himself something to do. When he eventually decided to speak his mind, his voice was quiet. “It’s not like you.”
He wasn’t sure how he’d been expecting Lina to respond, but it wasn’t the vitriol she spat back at him. “How would you know?”
The question took the wind out of him, and Garrus wouldn’t meet her gaze to respond. Hell, he could taste blood in his mouth as he bit his tongue. This wasn’t the Lina he remembered from the SR-1. Not even close.
“Well?”
He swallowed and finally raised his gaze to meet hers. It wasn’t anger that waited for him; instead, it was near-tears. Lina’s jaw quivered as she waited for a reply. “I just do,” he said as the lyrics of the next song began.
I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wired
Oh, you come to me, give me everything I need
“Isn’t that enough?” Garrus continued because for him, it was. From the moment he saw her on the bridge like a Valkyrie from the ancient humans’ myths.
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby, I would rather be dead
Lina wiped her cheek with the back of one hand and nodded. “I guess it’ll have to be,” she said, and he could hear the tightness in her voice. Garrus wished he knew what that meant. Shepard might have been missing two years, but too often, he felt like the one wandering in the dark.
When she sighed heavily, Garrus refilled both of their glasses, and he settled into the couch again. As the song finished, some of the tension seemed to fall out of the room. So much so, that Lina gave up sitting, and she kicked off her boots before sprawling on out.
With one knee bent and her hands behind her head, she stared out the viewport above their heads. The view wasn’t particularly impressive inside the docks, but Garrus could believe it would be spectacular in space like the observation lounges.
“I just--” she began but didn’t continue.
Garrus could understand the sentiment. He raised his glass to her and took another long sip, feeling a buzz just starting to fog his mind. “Yeah.”
The music continued flowing, and when he looked over at Lina next, he found her dead asleep. Her chest rose and fell evenly, and her eyes were closed. His mandibles slid into a small smile. At the very least, she trusted him enough to drift off.
“Officer Vakarian,” EDI’s voice filtered over the comms quieter than usual. “Lieutenant Moreau has returned with the noodles.”
He had to stifle a chuckle. The AI sounded almost perplexed at the idea Joker bought takeout for the Commander. “Tell him to put it in the cooling unit,” he replied as he stood. “She’s out.”
EDI logged him out, and Garrus busied himself for a brief moment putting the bottles away in the desk and taking the glasses to the washroom on the upper level. He knew she had a private lav, but even that was bigger than he’d expected. By the time he was ready to leave, Shepard was well asleep. She’d rolled onto her side, looking wildly uncomfortable as her head threatened to fall off the couch.
“Damn it,” he mumbled to himself as he rubbed under his fringe. Lina deserved rest, especially after today. But he couldn’t just leave her there, could he?
Garrus sighed.
His feet were quiet as he padded across the room to pull back the blankets. When he returned to Shepard’s side, he knelt down and very carefully slid his arms under her shoulders and knees to pick her up. At every sound or movement, but eventually, he managed to stand up with her in his arms. When Garrus was halfway to the bed, Shepard nuzzled into his throat, making his heart pound beneath his keel so loudly that he thought it might wake her.
It wasn’t until he’d settled Lina on the mattress that Garrus took another breath. Her face went slack, and he pulled the covers up to keep her warm. He watched for only a moment more before heading to the door. Garrus left the music playing as he turned out the lights. It was a good song; he knew Lina liked it. And maybe, just maybe, he could have it all.
Well, I hear the music
Close my eyes, feel the rhythm
Wrap-around
Take a hold of my heart
What a feeling.
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