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I have a thing with hands on my hips.
Everybody on this ship and beyond knows I frequently place my hands on my hips. I set my feet a couple of inches apart and my hands get into position. It's almost automatic. It's my power stance. I'm not tall in any way, but with my hands on my hips I feel formidable. Powerful. Invincible.
But in fact the truth is my hips are my weak spot, my Achilles heel.
The story goes that as a baby, Achilles was dipped in the river Styx to make him strong and invincible.
While doing so, his mother held him by the heel, thus leaving that part of his body unexposed to the water. And no matter how invincible he had become, Achilles' heel was forever vulnerable.
When I was dipped in the river Styx, I was held by my hips.
So when I assume my power stance and my hands get into position, I'm in fact covering my weak spot, that one crack in my armor, so that I may at least appear truly invincible.
B'Elanna discovered my weak spot by accident.
I was walking in front of her when the ship made an unexpected lurge to the left. It made me lose my footing and I stumbled a little. That's when she placed her hands on my hips.
"Whoa there Captain." She steadied me and I looked over my shoulder into her dark brown eyes. "I got you." She grinned.
"Thank you Lieutenant." I replied, my heart beating in my chest as I wondered if she had noticed my lack of armor there, if she'd been aware that she had rather touched the real me underneath.
When I assumed my power stance later to take control of the ship, I felt like I was covering up two gaping holes in my sides. Two sizzling red hot marks made by B'Elanna, exposing my weakness to anyone who cared to look.
It left me feeling vulnerable, especially around her. And she noticed it too. She studied me, gradually coming closer and closer and I surreptitiously watched her every move, wondering if she would take advantage of my weakness.
And finally, she stood in front of me, placing her hands on my hips to pull me even closer.
Had she grabbed me by the arms or shoulders, or even simply cupped my face, I'm not sure I would have reciprocated. But her gentle hands on my hips grounded me. Her touch steadied me, made me feel protected.
So when she finally kissed me, I did kiss her back.
I'm sure it was her fascination with the discovered crack in my armor that led her to slowly untuck my shirt from my pants. Her audacity shocked me but then her eyes sought mine, asking for permission, and I granted it before she gently pulled the fabric free.
I gasped when her fingers touched the bare skin at my waist. It was the most intimate of touches. I was laid bare for her to see.
Later she held me firmly by the hips as I moved against her. She guided me, possessed me, held on to me.
At that point I was no longer wearing any armor, nor clothes for that matter.
We fell asleep, B'Elanna spooning me with her hand loosely positioned on my hip, as if to indicate that even in sleep she would defend and protect the crack in my armor.
Grateful, I snuggled deeper into her embrace.
In the morning, she walked up behind me, placing her hands in their -by now- familiar spot on my hips. I could feel her smile as she nuzzled my neck. "Mmm, I love you."
And at that point I realized I'd had it wrong all along. My hips were not my weak spot, but instead a conduit to an even greater source of strength.
I placed my hands on top of B'Elanna's, including her in my power stance, and leaned into her body. "I love you too."