Work Text:
Gerard didn't really know what love was - mostly because he was a thirty year old man who took naps and watched porn all day. "I am craving grapes and mustard," Gerardle said to himself. He got some grapes and mustard and ate them. Yumyumyum.
***
All Mikey knew was that he loved Gerard... needed him... that he wanted him and only him to be his sugardaddy...
"I wish I could tell him how I feel, but it's wrong and I know it." Mikey thought one day.
-At Mikey's house-
"Mikey, Mikeeeeeeeeey, Mikey, Mikey-a-Long-a-Ding-Dong, Michael, Michael Jackson!" Gerard screeched to his brother from downstairs. Then Gerard screamed,"MIKEY!!!! WERE THE **** IS MY COFFEE????!!!!"
Gerard swung his penis around like a rodeo, he was wearing purple stripper shoes and a short black dress. Mikey had to admit it, his brother was hot and Gerard was secretly shocked and aroused when Mikey told him about his Incest fantasies.
Later that day Gerard walked into the kitchen and was like “I want coffee” and Mikey was all like “I want to sex your bum” Gerard couldn’t have thought of very many things he wanted less than a burning asshole.
"Incest is wrong." Gerard said.
"But its not incest. Its waycest." Mikey said with a wink. "Gee will you get me a knife and some lube"
Instead, Gerard attached a collar around Mikey's neck, ready to get serious. He grabbed Mikey Way's favorite guitar and started shoving it up his ass.
They were the Gay Ways.
Their penises collided. Gerard wouldn't let Mikey come without the magic word (Abracadabra)
"Abracadabra!" Gerard pulled a rabbit out of Mikey's pants with a flourish, then Moikay sprizzled with some jizzle. Gerard quacked.
-The next day-
Incest was wrong, but oh god, Gerard knew how to fuck Mikey well. Better than Ray the Raging Rapist.
"I have a present for you." Gerard whispered, sending a shiver down Mikey's spine. "If you want it.. look in my pants."
(Sick motherfucker? I'm sorry, I think you mean brotherfucker. Yes, that's right. My name is Gerard Way and I like to fuck my own brother.)
-Later at the hospital-
"Sorry Gerard. Ethically, it would be wrong of me to perform a c-section when you’re perfectly capable of having this baby naturally" Said the doctor.
Just then a bunch of babies flew out of Gerard's penis! The nurses began scrambling around, collecting them. Like Easter, but with more bodily fluids.
Gerard Way was staring at his soon-to-be husband Mikey, (Mikey is also his brother and now his children's father, but this is a fanfiction, so it doesn't really matter.) "So, I’m gonna marry my brother, so what?"
Mikey sighed and looked down at his sparkly leotard. And then a tear rolled out of Getards eye.
-Gerard goes to Shrek for advice-
"Onion have layer." Shrek said, smiling.
"Oh, Shrek. You always know what to say." Gerard says.
From the air vent, Ray hissed.
***
So Gerard and Mikey got married and rode off into the sunset with their immaculately male-conceived children.
The end.