Chapter Text
“Handsome”
The Vaccines
Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God
Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God
Oh, eat me up for breakfast
You think you look good in whatever they sugar coat you in
And my body is a temple , you can worship at my feet
But I might kick you in the teeth so
So even when you're spitting blood
You would savor that for me
“Kirishima, Kirishimaaaaaaa”
He doesn’t even have to look up to know who’s speaking. He catches the flash of pink curls as a body drops unceremoniously onto his lap. “I need your help.”
Kirishima sighs as he dislodges his math homework from under her butt. He looks down at his friend through one of the tiny burn holes that weren’t there seconds before.
“Dude, watch the acid.” He wouldn’t normally care, but he’d promised a certain explosive blonde that he’d finish his math homework before they got dinner. No way he was missing Lunch Rush’s chicken katsu night. Or the look of glee on said blonde’s face as he dumps half a bottle of sriracha on it.
“Why aren’t there any hot guys at this school?” The question takes him by surprise as he stares down into imploring black eyes.
“Huh,” he responds absentmindedly, “What do you mean?” She rolls her eyes in response, shifting so she can prop up on her elbows.
“Remember that weird girl from middle school who got her period in the middle of history and tried to flush her underwear down the toilet and the bathrooms flooded so bad we got a half day of school?” Kirishima peered blearily at the phone shoved in his face, unsure of where this was going,“ SHE has a BOYFRIEND!” A photo booth sticker swam in to view. Two faces beamed at the camera, fingers held up in a matching peace sign. Kirishima’s eyes caught on the cartoon figures decorating the photo.
“An All Might photo booth?! No way, where is this? I have to tell Bakugou.” Kirishima tries to zoom in on the picture, but Mina snatches it back to glare at the screen.
“Focus, Kiri!” She huffs, scrolling furiously, “She’s a month younger than me and already has a boyfriend, there is no way I’m getting beaten. Boyfriend. I need one. Now” She punctuates each statement with a sharp jab of her finger into his shoulder.
“Ow. I don’t know. What about Sero? Kaminari?” Kirishima offers, catching her finger in his hand before she could resume the abuse.
“No and absolutely not. Sero likes a girl in 2-B and have you SEEN the way Kaminari and Jiro are looking at each other? Besides every time he does something cool he ruins it by turning into a walking telephone pole, so not cute.” Mina sighs and throws her phone on his desk with an unceremonious clunk, “next.”
“Uh,” Kirishima racks his calculus fried brain, “Todoroki? Shoji? Mineta?!” He ends with a laugh, bracing his arms over his head against an impending punch.
“Be serious here, I’m so desperate I’d even date Bakugou,” she rolls on the ground, dramatically throwing her hand over her eyes. Kirishima gently pulls down her shirt where it rides up her exposed stomach.
“Hey,” he scowls playfully, “Why desperate? Bakugou is awesome!” Mina looks at him, part incredulous, part affection.
“He’s the worst. Remember when he tripped that girl in 1-B yesterday?” Mina looks up at him in disdain, “Not cool.”
“Yea, because she was about to step on Ojiro’s tail! He’s so manly, I’m telling you.” Kirishima laughs, as he glances to the clock on his wall. He had thirty minutes to finish the last three problems. Bakugou leaves to eat dinner precisely at 6:30 and told the red head if he isn’t knocking on his door by 6:29, he’d leave him in the dust. Kirishima has never given him the chance to test it.
“What about last week when he dumped a glass of water on Todoroki in the middle of the common room?!” She quips back. Kirishima laughs, but shakes his head, his eyes still straining on the problems in front of him.
“You weren’t even there, Mina. Todoroki was talking to Endeavor on the phone and he must have gotten upset because his phone literally started smoking. If Bakugou hadn’t dumped that water on his head, it probably would have melted in his hand. He was being super cool,” Kirishima remembers the startled look on Todoroki’s face as steam rose around him. Bakugou stomped off muttering curses before he could even respond. It was a lot funnier in retrospect, they were all a little terrified at the time.
“Well what about yesterday. Did you even hear?” Mina bounces up in sudden excitement. “Some girl in the business class actually confessed to Bakugou.” That got Kirishima’s attention. He looks up sharply.
“What did he say?” He asks, a weird tightening sensation suddenly clutching at his chest.
“What else,” She falls back to the floor laughing, “Fuck off, extra, what the fuck do I need a useless girlfriend for?” She parrots in a surprisingly accurate imitation.
“Ah,” Kirishima releases the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding, “sounds like Bakugou.” If the smile he flashes the pink haired girl is a little forced, she doesn’t notice.
“He’s such an asshole,” Mina settles her hands underneath her head, eyes trailing to the Crimson Riot posters tacked haphazardly to the wall, “honestly, he’s lucky he’s so handsome. People put up with a lot of dumb stuff when you’re handsome”
“Handsome?”,” Kirishima asks dumbly. He follows her gaze, his eyes going unfocused as he thinks.
“Duh. He’s clearly been working out a lot more thanks to your sparring,” Mina nudges him playfully, “You know all the girls secretly sneak past the gym whenever you two are training. It’s like an explosion of muscle. You’re the only one who can handle him, especially when he gets super pissy. Although he didn’t scream at Midoriya at all last week. Clearly all your sugar coating is working on him.” She sticks her tongue out between a grin.
“I guess,” he trails of faintly. Todoroki and Deku were definitely stronger than him, but he was the only one who could match Bakugou’s explosions and not level the gym to a pile of rubble. “He’s been following my weight training the past few weeks. He’s looking super manly…”
His mind goes back to the last time they were in the weight room. Bakugou had just finished his first set of dead lifts when he threw the weights down in frustration. He reached back and pulled off his shirt in one fluid motion, muttering about the cheap ass UA and their cheap ass A/C. Kirishima sat up on the bench with a laugh only to come face to face with an unnervingly perfect set of abs. It was the first time that he felt that weird thing in his stomach. It kinda felt like that time Uraraka was practicing her anti gravity on him. Weightless and tumultuous and a little exciting.
Huh. His mind returns to the present as his eyes catch on the clock on the wall. Fifteen minutes?! He pushes Mina’s off his knees “I have to finish!”
***
Cause I got so down I held the world for ransom
Lonely, bored and bad, thank God I'm handsome, so handsome
“I can’t believe Yua-senpai asked out such a beast of a person,” a familiar voice carries over the usual dining room chatter, “I had so much respect for her, who knew that she would have such low taste.” The group looks up to see Monoma gliding by their table.
“Hn?” Bakugou grunts, chopsticks poised at his mouth.
“Are you sure she got the right blonde?,” Monoma preens, neatly straitening his shirt sleeves, "although I don’t know how she could confuse your ugly visage with mine.”
“The fuck you say?!” Bakugou hisses as he jumps up on his chair to yell at the boy. Iida jumps up just as quickly.
“Do not put your feet on dining room chairs, it is discourteous to other students,” he yells mechanically.
Kirishima grabs Bakugou’s pant leg, trying to gently coax him down. “Hey, come on be nice.”
“Shut up, shitty hair, I don’t need to explain myself to fucking extras.” Bakugou shakes his leg, not hard enough to do any actual damage. Kirishima sighs and looks up at the boy.
“Dude…” The last rays of sunlight are streaming through the dining room windows, alighting around the boys face. Kirishima's voice trails off as the tight feeling coils in his chest again. Bakugou turns to look down at him and he can only stare. The light hits his eyes and they flash like a starburst.
He vaguely hears Monoma’s scathing, “Why would she ever pick you?!” The response finds its way out of Kirishima’s mouth before he could stop it,
“It’s cause he’s handsome”
Huh.
Kirishima looks down sharply, Sero and Kaminari are staring opened mouth at him. He looks quickly at Mina and she is positively cackling. Oh no.
He feels the sweat accumulate in his palm and a weird heat on his face as he risks a small look back at Bakugou.
The blond hair boy is still looking down at him, but his mouth is slightly slack. Their eyes meet, as Kirishima’s heartbeat drops to a standstill. He’s about to stammer an apology when Bakugo’s face breaks out into the most maniacal grin. He turns back to Monoma and points a finger triumphantly.
“Hear that copy cat, it’s cause I’m fucking HANDSOME. Can’t copy that, fucker.” His words were loud enough now that the entire cafeteria was looking at them, “Better fucking WORSHIP me now dipsshit!”
Kirishima couldn’t hide the groan that escapes his mouth as he buries his head in his hands. He could already here the frenetic whispers of his classmates around him.
He was never going to hear the end of this