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Kokichi doesn’t talk much anymore.
That’s a lie.
He doesn’t talk at all anymore.
Every time he opens his mouth he sees Gonta being stung over and over again by the very creatures he loved. Miu blue in the face when he knew it should be him laying there. Rantaro with a chunk of his head sunken in. Puddles and drips of pink. The nurses say that was just a part of the simulation, but when his nails sink into his arms he still sees rose soak through the bandages instead of the crimson they tell him it is.
He sees Maki and feels her hands tightening around his throat. Shuichi, his ‘beloved’, staring at him with disgust. And Kaito, mouth dripping pink, eyes teary with guilt and pity.
His words die in his throat, crushed by overwhelming guilt. If he closes his eyes he’s back under the hydraulic press as it presses the liar flat.
Talking killed ten people. His lies got the few people who could stand him killed. Besides even if he could somehow get the words past his lips he’s not sure if he’d be able to tell the difference between a lie and the truth.
Seems they got mixed up when they took him out of the program. Not that anyone would believe him if he said that though. So Kokichi struggles through conversations praying it isn’t too obvious that he can’t understand what the others’ mean. Kaito figures it out pretty early on and is always quick to help when he notices Kokichi struggling.
Kaito tells him he misses the little liar’s voice. He’s been there since he woke up. Holds him when Kokichi can feel his bones shattering and when his small body shakes with silent sobs. Reads him ridiculous stories about space and friendship when Kokichi feels the weight of his guilt crushing him as much as the press did.
In return, Kokichi wraps his arms around Kaito when the taller’s lungs try to cough out a disease that no longer infects them. Kokichi draws doodles of the two of them when Kaito sees an amalgamation of blood and paste when he looks at him.
The nurses eventually gave up on trying to make him talk. It wasn’t physical, so technically it wasn’t their responsibility. It didn’t interfere with their work after all. He answered their questions with a nod or a shake of his head and sometimes a point. They gave him a notepad and pens to make it easier; he used them exactly once.
Kokichi made his way to the kitchen silently hoping that he was late enough to avoid the others. Luck was apparently not on his side. Fourteen pairs of eyes bore into him. His throat tightened and he blinked back the tears in his eyes.
“Kokichi?” he faintly registered someone talking, but the words mixed in his head.
He forced himself to look up at the people in front of him. Ignoring the suspicious stares and concerned looks, he walked up to Miu and Gonta. They were alive. Not dead. Alive.
He held up the notebook, ‘Sorry’
Group therapy was a requirement according to the contract he apparently signed. It was a pain and most of the other contestants seem to agree. Most of the sessions crept by slowly though every now and then someone might actually vent or rant about their death or the show. If anyone noticed Kokichi squeezing his eyes shut and shrinking into Kaito’s side when Miu spoke about it no one commented on it.
Kokichi spent most of his time sitting with Kaito either next to him or on him. Partly for comfort, so Kaito could feel his weight instead of his bloody remains, and partly for help when Kokichi struggled to keep up.
Some people were easier to follow, but Maki and Miu who both seemed to speak only in sarcasm turned his brain to goo. If it got too much Kaito was more than willing to let him fall asleep in his lap, running his fingers through Kokichi’s hair and if anyone said anything about it, other than the annoyed therapist who often woke him up, he never heard it.
Last week Maki and Kaito’s argument took up most of the session. Kokichi didn’t remember what or who started it, but he remembered when Kaito stood up so fast to shout that he fell off his lap. (He apologized almost immediately of course then went back to arguing) Most of it consisted of them debating who was responsible for his death. Until they seemed to wear themselves out and finally admit that they were all responsible. All being Kokichi, Kaito, and Maki. Sometimes their arguments end in apologies, this one ended in a heavy silence.
The therapist that led the sessions, both individual and group, seemed insistent on trying to get Kokichi to talk again. Asking him questions and trying to get him to share with the group. If Kaito couldn’t get him to talk he found it laughable that the therapist seemed to think she could.
Not that he wasn’t trying. But the tightness of his throat never went away. The most he could get on a good day was a scratchy laugh.
The therapist called it psychogenic mutism due to trauma. Kokichi called it bullshit. Neither he nor she could say if it was caused by his guilt or the press.
It was Tojo who finally found him a different method to communicate. It made her anxious to not understand him in case he had a request, she explained. The therapist was working on trying to get her to forget her maid duties, but even without an actual ultimate Tojo was firm on helping whenever she could.
The maid sat him down in the activity room and placed a book in front of him, JSL: Japanese Sign Language for beginners. that she convinced the therapist to order. Together the two of them make their way through the book and other resources Tojo found. The second time they meet up Kaito and Angie join them. Kaito so he could talk with Kokichi and Angie because Atua said she would need to know it. Which the liar figured meant she just wanted to learn.
While Kokichi was left a mess of what he was in-game, Angie held fast to her belief in Atua and her ultimate. She often joined him in the activity room forcing paint brushes and markers into his hands saying that Atua wished him to draw with her. While they were never friends in the game, though Kokichi wasn’t friends with anyone in it, they were friends in their own way afterwards. Even if everyone found their way odd.
Though who could blame them when Kokichi switched her paint colors around and stole her pencils and Angie randomly dragged him out of bed with loud declarations that Atuta commanded they make drawings for everyone. (The drawings in reference were realistic zoomed in images of random parts of the others. Hoshi got a corner of his hat, Rantaro the middle of his shirt, and so on)
While the others never became fluent in JSL most of them could understand what Kokichi said even if they had to ask him to re-sign or slow down half the time.
Miu made a device out of the microwave and the toaster that she programmed to voice his signs for her. They had a fun few hours testing out the weirdest sentences they could come up with. Kokichi was very happy that he could now call her a bitchlet from across the room and Miu would never admit it, but she was happy to have her friend back. The others found it weird, but they had fun signing and yelling insults back and forth while working on different things.
It became a common sight to see Kaito and Kokichi in the middle of the hall, hands flying at ridiculous speeds, in the midst of a ridiculous argument. Kokichi was extremely proud of the three hour debate they had when he managed to convince Kaito that he believed the moon landing was faked. Needless to say the astronaut did not take kindly to that.
Kaito paused mid-sentence. He pulled Kokichi against his chest and smiled, “You have no idea how happy it makes me to argue with you again.”
Kokichi grinned. ‘Of course an idiot like Momota-chan would say something like that’
“Hey! Who are you calling an idiot?”
Kokichi curled up next to Kaito. They both had trouble sleeping alone, but they also both knew that was just an excuse.
“Hey, Kokichi?” he rolled over to look at the astronaut.
‘You know I love you right?’ Kokichi’s eyes widened then he sighed. ‘You know I can’t tell when you’re lying Kaito. That’s really funny.’
Kaito shook his head, “No lies.”
Kokichi frowned, ‘Truth?’
Kaito smiled and held up his hands in front of the smaller boy, ‘Truth.’
Kokichi might not know the difference between lies and truths that used to fall from his lips effortlessly. And his voice might not be verbal, but he was still there with Kaito and all the others. And that's what matters.