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Most of Kyo’s childhood memories had gone away with the flood that occurred the summer of his first year of elementary school.
Everything before that was as if blurry mosaic splattered all across them, making no sense even if he thought hard about it. Along with all the furnitures left at the first floor of their house, all of the family photos were ruined. Over time, Kyo just grew tired of being confused, and decided to not look back at all, which in turns, as it seemed, made his memories slipped away even faster.
There was, however, one thing that he still remembered about though. A person, to be specific.
It was…some time during the last year of Kindergarten, maybe?
There was a girl from the class one or two years younger. Kyo couldn’t recall what her face to be honest, not even her name.
What he did remember though, was the warm touch hugging around his shoulder when he knelt down and tied her shoelaces every day before playground time.
Kyo remembered how the sweet scent of milk and baby shampoo lingered. He remembered the softness of the girls mid-long hair touching his neck as she leaned onto him, so soft that he was definitely tempted to take a bite at more than one point. He remembered teaching her over and over again, pulling the shoelace as slow as possible for her to see––
Loopty loop and pull, bunny runs around the tree. He’d mimic his mother and sung out softly. The girl was so small and fragile, Kyo remember fearing to hurt her with even raising a bit of his voice.
Loopty loop and pull, bunny runs around the tree. Here, can you do it?
Despite his efforts though, the girl only ever repeated “bunny” with a whisper, never managed to learn how to tie her own shoes.
So everyday, Kyo took it as his responsibility to do it for her.
Looking back, even he himself was quite astounded that he could be that patient. To think about it, why did her parents even let her wear those shoes? Wasn’t it just dangerous if she had tripped and fell and could do nothing to fix it?
Either way, for any of those questions, Kyo had no answer.
The only thing he knew however, was that the girl was most definitely his first crush. Puppy love. Though such mushy gushy word only made him uncomfortable how.
But, he had to admit–– it made sense. At that time (though Kyo had zero collection himself), he was apparently a troubled child. According to his mother, he had a long list of astounding “accomplishments” ranging from : (a) smearing red and blue crayons all over his mouth, proudly claiming it to be lipstick, (b) chasing other kids with a stapler in his hand, and (c) snatched the poor teacher’s microphone and screamed into it while smashing fingers on all the piano keys……and the list went on and on.
It must had been hard for a kid like him to make any friend. And frankly…this statement held true even until today.
Kyo sometimes wondered if that was the reason his brain clutched onto this piece of memory like a drowning person would to a floating wood.
Pathetic, ain’t it?
He smirked to himself as he heaved out a puff of smoke into the ever blue and boring sky. Lying on the top of water tank of his high school, Kyo had no intention to going back to class even though the bell had rung quite a while ago.
He wondered if everything in life would always end up like this. Eventually, he’d just stop giving any fucks. Childhood memory, love, passion, his current life, everything.
Closing his eyes, Kyo “looked” meaninglessly at the orange-pinkish tint created by sunlight through his eyelids.
When he finally awoke from the early summer heat again, however… he found that there was a face staring down at him.
Like, really.
But not the horror film type though, thankfully, even though the confusion it brought was no less––it was, quite a good-looking face to be honest. Kyo was even disoriented a bit when his gaze went further down––and realized the intruder was actually a guy judging by his uniform.
Light-colored hair, similarly fair-toned skin, glassy eye……
But no, that’s not the point.
“What do you want?”
Without moving an inch, Kyo grunted. There’s no way he’s gonna give up this perfect spot voluntarily. He stared at the guy in a hostile manner, fully prepared to launch forward at any time. If this guy wanted to fight, he’s as ready as ever.
“Found you.”
However, that’s all the boy had to say.
Kyo stared back blankly, as the apparently younger boy made himself home and sat next to him.
Kyo was totally going to snapped some snarky response in an attempt to shoo the guy away, when a sudden gush of summer wind whisked by. A sweet scented smell surrounded him, all too familiarly. Soft and babyish, reminding him of everything clean, throwing Kyo totally off guard.
With eyes shot wide open, Kyo’s body posture shot up straight. He turned his head, just enough to see the the red hair clip pinned between the first and second button of the younger boy’s uniform jacket. An undeniably strong sense of nostalgia…and in he plunged, deep.
Large-eared monkey mascot. He remembered that. He definitely remembered that from some where in his memory. But where, and why, for what? Why should he be as all tensed up and panicking like this, this was not like him. This made absolutely no se––
Images flashed across his mind before he could grasp any.
The last thing his first crush gave him before moving away.
How he held in all his tears that day.
How he cooed and attempted to comfort the girl as best as a five-year-old could, as she silently cried into his shoulders.
How he attempted to tie her shoes for that one last time, only to be stopped by the girl.
With a proud smile still wet by tears, she kelt down and showed him what she could finally do.
Senses of loss, senses of assurance.
For the one last time, she hugged Kyo, stuffing the cotton monkey doll she had always cherished so much, even carrying it all over the place despite being teased by the boys in her class. He’d chase away and fight every single one of them if they dare do so in front of his eyes though.
And that, was the very last time he was actually in physical contact with any human being. He never realized the hunger, the longing of touch up until this moment.
Because……
Because, everything was too painful.
It was too painful when he cried when he found that the flood had washed everything, including the monkey doll, every single photos of theirs together, away.
It was too painful when he was ridiculed by his father and then further beaten up for “weeping like a wimp.”
That man would repeatedly beaten him up in the future. With no more comfort he could held on into the night, everything hurt so much that young Kyo decided not to think about anything anymore.
At the spur of the moment, Kyo could finally taste that one lost word at the tip of his tongue. He blurted out––
“Shinya?”
With the nostalgic call ringing from the depths of the depths of his heart, Kyo simply watched, in daze, as the boy nodded with a smile brighter than the sun, softer than breeze.
“My parents job. We moved back.”
The familiar whispery voice, combined with slight pause and struggle with words.
This is…definitely Shinya. That Shinya, who was like a missing piece of puzzle to Kyo’s heart, secretly.
Well, that.
People learn something everyday, right.
The…uh. Gender of his crush? Was definitely some new to Kyo.
“Kyo. I missed you so much. ”
…A boy huh.
Well, no big deal.
It’s not something that he couldn’t work on.
The heat of early noon surrounded Kyo and Shinya as they grinned at each other in a temporary lost of words, immersed solely in the moment, in pure joy.
The summer had begun.