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They say they've lost contact, and you can only watch as that's the fact they believe as your return drags longer.
They waited for your arrival, your return after one year, the hope still there.
The food around the table, the lingering topics. The cheerful talk of the past, and the casual mentions of you. The warm lights welcoming each of them, the warm cookies on the plate. Multiple dog shaped ones left untouched. Nearly 6, in total. The cat shaped ones were left untouched for a different reason- they were too sweet for most of them, it was made specially for one person only.
They never disbanded, they're still together. You were never replaced by anyone else, but your position was replaced by the silver haired leader. They were willing to wait for your return, they did not want to replace you.
Every concert they come in with the same blue bracelet that shines brightly under the lights. One slightly lose, but not lose enough to intefere with her own playing. It was constantly swaying as her hand moved over her own guitar, while a similar second pair remained taut around the other wrist. You've heard the new songs, you've even played them yourself, but your own sound was laced with sadness.
The sadness you left behind is still there. When you had to leave with tears and a broken heart, you also left behind two broken hearts and four tearful people. Yet they never forgot you, they were still waiting. Their space is still there, waiting for your return.
You had watch from your family's home in the countryside, watching the dogs prowl around the yard. As you strum your guitar slowly. First news were of your dying grandmother, then….
It was even barely two weeks since you've arrived here. When you received the news. Time had come, and you were never going to return.
You wished to call them, you wished to speak to your dearest friends once again, you didn't find the will to do so.
You changed your phone number and you barely focused on anything other than music and schoolwork. You changed your username in game, blocked them all. Seeing them was only going to make moving on harder, you didn't want to burden them. Your actions were illogical, but you could not be bothered to care.
News never made it to them and they hung onto the huge amount of hope they had, to once see their dear friend again. Every gathering without fail every practise, every thing they did as a group, there was a space left for someone that would never come.
You left with sadness and reluctance, not anger. There was no hatred for anyone amongst the group. It made sense they waited for you, but how you wish to tell them the truth. But you still left with sadness.
Your firm wishes of keeping everything silent has your own sister following it. Your letter to her lay on the nightstand, stained with tears from both sides of the message.
She was already distant when you moved, but now no one could pry things out of her either. Her friends had no information, and they got the same answer: She didn't get anything from you either.
Behind herself, she hides blue flowers. Flowers with tears on them, flowers nearly wilted from the hesitance and time it took to give it to the intended receiver. In front of her she held blooming flowers. Brightly coloured and detailed fakes, you wouldnt even relalise they werent real. She was as radiant as ever, but the dark truths about you were kept locked up far behind her..
They say they've lost contact, and that was fact, until their world as they knew it came crashing down like dominos.
The first push was a freak accident. Crazy fan targets idols at fan meeting, leaving one dead and others injured. Japan knows the death of Hikawa Hina, stabbed during a fan meet as she protected her friends while thousands evacuated.
Her friends receive the info on the burial site, where she was laid to rest. Your friends receive a message with the burial site and an offer to go together, seeing as you were one of the ex members of the group. They accept carefully, and they make their way over to pay respects together with her friends.
Yet the bouquet of flowers they brought for one person was not enough. They would soon find out as they stopped in front of your sister's grave. The one right beside seemed eerily similar to her grave, and they do a double take as they read the carving on the second smooth polished stone.
Your name stares out at them, frozen in place after all these time. You've returned, a long time ago. But it seems that today was your true return.