Chapter Text
"When she said she had invited someone, I didn't think it would be like this."
"Peter! Stop scowling, you're going to terrify him. And what did you think Morgan meant when she said 'a friend', with all that blushing and smiling?"
"Oh, I suppose a normal, platonic, female friend. She has lots of those, MJ."
"Chris is a nice boy. He seems good for Morgan, he makes her laugh."
"You've talked to him? Et tu, MJ--"
"It's 'et tu, brute', and even as initials I don't pronounce my name like that."
"Pft. I know the quote, which is why I put the emphasis on the J, so as to sound more like brute. Duh."
"Twenty six and my husband still speaks like a five year old. How lucky I must be to be a wife and mother to the same person."
"Hang on! What's he up to? I can see you, you little twerp, with your stupid skateboarder haircut and--"
"He just put his arm around her waist, Peter. Morgan is sixteen now, this kind of thing is normal. There's nothing wrong with her having a boyfriend."
"He's practically molesting her in front of everyone at this party."
"Stop glaring at Chris."
"But--"
"No buts."
"Fine."
"Pouting isn't a good look for you, either."
"I am not pouting."
"You're not really worried about this, are you? Morgan's smart, Peter. She's going to be ok."
"Yeah, I know, I just... I can't help it. I've always looked out for her, but this isn't something I can protect her from."
"What, a boyfriend? Heartbreak? She's becoming an adult. Making her own choices is a part of that. It doesn't look like she's making any stupid ones so far, anyways. You can't protect her forever."
"This isn't protecting her, MJ. Just a friendly, non-verbal reminder to Chris that if he hurts her I'll feed his own arms to him, that's all."
"I know she's basically the younger sister you never had, but that's a tad strong, Peter."
"Nonsense! Besides, if I don't do this for her, who will? If Mr. Stark were here he would be glaring right along with me."
"Honestly, if Tony were here I think he would already have cornered Chris and threatened him with something much more creative than feeding him various appendages."
"Ouch. I could be more creative. I just didn't want to scare the kid, like you were saying."
"Sure."
"I could!"
"Ok, Peter."
"Since you clearly don't appreciate me, I think I'm going to go talk to someone else. Like Chris."
"Peter, no, don't, I--oh, I don't like the look of that grin at all."
~*~*~
"Hi, Peter! I don't think you two have met--Peter, this is my boyfriend Chris. Chris, this is Peter, he's an old family friend."
"Nice to meet you, Peter."
"Hello, Merry Christmas, Chris!"
"Uh, are you feeling alright, Peter? Your voice sounds awfully... hearty."
"I'm doing just fine, thank you, Morgan. I was wondering if I could have a quick word with Chris."
"Fine with me. Morgan, I'll come back in a minute. So, what do you need, Peter?"
"Well, I just came over here to--"
"Hang on, is this the 'death and dismemberment if you hurt Morgan' talk? I already got two of those from Ms. Pepper and MJ."
"Oh, I... well. That's kind of weird."
"Yeah. I told them that even though we're pretty young, I really like Morgan. I'm not going to do anything to hurt her."
"Well, that's good. Yeah. Great! I actually came over here to tell you not to give Morgan any jewelry, because she doesn't wear it all that much, but seeing as it's Christmas day I guess it's sort of too late for that."
"Yeah, I actually got her a book instead. I hope she won't think that's too boring. If you have any ideas for birthday gifts, I wouldn't mind hearing them. I don't want to get her a book again, you know?"
"Right, uh, I don't really know... maybe ask FRIDAY, she might have some ideas."
"Thanks."
"Well, I should probably get back to MJ, dinner is about to start, so... see you around, Chris."
"You too, Peter."
~*~*~
"So, how'd it go?"
"You absolute sneak, you. My own wife has betrayed me not once but twice, and on Christmas no less. You have single handedly taken away my adopted-older-brother right to threaten her boyfriend."
"Drama queen. It was hardly single handed. Pepper talked to him too."
"What did you both say to him?"
"Pepper appealed to his guilt and ended it by saying that if she ever saw Morgan crying over him, she would call his mom about the kind of son she's raising--"
"Oof. Man to man that is a low blow."
"--And I threatened to have Spiderman beat him up."
"You--wait. Spiderman?"
"Mhmm. I'm not sure he believed me at first, but I told him Spiderman was an intimate friend of mine and wouldn't mind doing me a favour. He's a big fan of yours, by the way."
"'Intimate friend', that's an understatement... wait, a fan? Chris is a fan of Spiderman?"
"Big enough to ask me for Spiderman's autograph right after I threatened to sic you and your Spidey powers on him."
"Huh. Maybe he's not so bad after all. You know, I think Morgan made a pretty good choice of boyfriend."
"Of course you do, Peter."