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Eren rolled his eyes at the topic of conversation. This was seriously getting old now. Ever since things had gone sour with Jean, resulting in their bitter break-up, Mikasa and Armin had been trying to fix him up on dates with anyone that so much as smiled in Eren’s direction. And it wasn’t even that he wasn’t interested in dating again, he just wanted it to be of his own volition. He wanted to choose his own partner.
“And now Jean’s dating Marco, and…”
That caught Eren’s attention, and he almost knocked over his coffee. “What? Marco and Jean?” He was a little taken aback by the news. It wasn’t that he even wanted to be in the same zip code as Jean any more, let alone date him, but it was just surprising that he’d managed to move on so quickly. It had been a little over a month since Eren had moved out of their shared apartment, into a small solo apartment across the other side of town.
Armin looked a little sheepish upon realising that Eren had known nothing about Jean and Marco. “Yeah, it’s fairly new from the little I’ve heard, but it seems pretty serious already. It’s why you should really think about finding someone new, Eren.”
“Yes, after you’ve introduced any potentials to me and Armin. I don’t want to see you hurt by another loser like Jean,” Mikasa spoke up softly, cradling her cup of tea in her delicate fingers. “And we’re all having dinner tomorrow night. And by all, I mean everyone. Sasha, Connie, Ymir and Christa. And Jean and Marco.”
Eren knew what that meant. Everyone would be fawning over Jean and Marco and looking at him with pity because he didn’t have a date.
“So I can bring my date, right?” The words came out before he could even attempt to hold them back. He didn’t have a date, what the hell had he said that for?
Mikasa and Armin looked stunned, and then Armin beamed. “You have a date? Eren, that’s… that’s great! Is that why you’ve been turning down our attempts to set you up with people?”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Mikasa leaned forward, drawing both of their attention. Eren completely forgot about answering Armin’s questions in favour of looking at his adopted sister. He knew what she was really asking. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
Eren swallowed, unable to back out of the lie now that Mikasa had that look of concealed hurt on her face. “It’s fairly new.” Like non-existent. Make believe. “I didn’t want to jinx it until I knew for sure. He’s, uh, a little older too.”
“How much older?” Mikasa’s eyes narrowed.
“Fairly.” Eren muttered, before inspiration struck. “He’s nothing like Jean. He’s got dark hair and… and he’s shorter than me.”
That had always been a sore point in his relationship with Jean, the other man had towered over him and constantly made Eren feel inadequate about it. Glancing at the clock, Eren was relieved to see that he needed to leave if he wanted to make his shift on time, and it meant he could avoid further questioning on his imaginary boyfriend, since it looked like Armin and Mikasa still had more they wanted to ask.
Mikasa frowned slightly as Eren made his excuses, but Armin gave him a cheery wave and called out for Eren to bring his partner to dinner tomorrow, because he was looking forward to meeting him.
Exiting the coffee shop, Eren cursed himself thoroughly for his habit of speaking before he really thought about what he was going to say. How pathetic would it look if he turned up tomorrow and admitted that he didn’t really have a date? Even worse than if he’d never mentioned it at all, he might have been able to claim that Jean was such a dick that he’d been put off dating for a while.
Now he was going to have to find someone who fit the description he’d just provided. As if it was going to be that simple.
“Way to go, Eren. Now you just have to find an older, shorter, dark-haired guy to pretend to be your date tomorrow night. That’s definitely possible.” He muttered, shaking his head as he trudged over to his car.
He’d worry about it tomorrow. Right now he had his bar shift to deal with.
The next morning, Eren woke up to a text from Mikasa stating that everyone was still going ahead with dinner, and they were meeting at the Colossal Titan restaurant at seven thirty. She also asked if Eren’s ‘date’ could make it, because she was about to make a reservation for them all and she needed to know numbers.
It was the perfect opportunity to back out. Eren decided to take it. Before he could press send, though, his cell phone rang and he picked it up without thinking.
“Eren, it’s Jean.”
Eren gritted his teeth. “What do you want, horseface?” Well, it had been a bitter break up.
“Don’t be so rude. I just wanted to call and make sure that it was okay if I bring Marco tonight. I mean, I just figured I’d make sure it wasn’t going to be all awkward and shit.”
It was thoughtful, Eren knew that, but he still wanted nothing more than to land his fist square between Jean’s eyes. It seemed like he was rubbing it in that he’d moved on, that he’d found someone new.
“No awkwardness on my part. I’m bringing my date too." He knocked on his nightstand loudly. “And that’s him now, so I gotta go. See you tonight.”
He hung up as quickly as possible and glared at the phone in his hand for a long moment, before texting Mikasa back.
He’s coming. –EY
Now he just had to find someone who fit his exact description. Eren left the house immediately, intent on procuring a date for the evening.
But he had a plan.
He checked everywhere in town. Coffee shops, both the public library and the college library, he called everyone he worked with to see if they knew of anyone who fit the bill. No luck. When it got late enough in the afternoon, after a quick lunch of drive thru in his car, the papers left crumpled on the passenger seat, Eren started to check the bars. He was reasonably sure he could convince someone to play along, but the problem was finding someone who actually fit the description he’d given.
Curse him and his mouth.
Hiring somebody was out of the question. He couldn’t afford it, paying the rent on his apartment was difficult enough now he was living alone. So those weird hook-up sites or actors were simply not an option.
By the time it ticked around to six thirty, Eren was literally seconds away from calling a hooker. But there was simply no way that Mikasa of all people would fall for that, and so, with a dull gaze, Eren conceded defeat.
Deciding not to go to the dinner, he headed to the nearest liquor store to find something strong to drown his sorrows in at home. He’d turn on his phone and come clean to Mikasa and Armin tomorrow, when he felt up to it.
There was some sort of commotion when he got to the liquor store, the yelling inside making him hesitate before opening the door. He ducked immediately as a bottle came flying towards his face.
“Out! Get out! And don’t come back!” The store owner bellowed.
Eren swallowed and stepped back, to allow a raging customer to sweep past him, giving him a quick glance and freezing.
He was perfect.
Shorter than Eren, by a good six inches, maybe even more. He had dark hair, dark eyes, and he was quite obviously older, although it was hard to gauge by how much.
“Uh, excuse me? Sir? Is everything okay?” He asked.
The shorter man stopped and turned with a dark expression on his face. “Not exactly. I seem to have mislaid my ID, and despite being a regular customer, my patronage has been refused. Now if you’ll excuse me.”
He tried to leave, and all Eren could see was his chance at being able to face dinner with his friends slowly disappearing.
“Wait! I’ll buy it for you.” He called out, watching the irritable man stop, but not turn around.
“And why would you do that?”
Eren swallowed and scuffed his shoes against the sidewalk. “I’ve had a bad day, and I’m here to drown my sorrows. I guess I just understand what it’s like to have a shitty day and if I can help make it better, I will.”
The dark-haired man turned around to look at Eren, his gaze cool and calculating, before nodding once. “Thank you. This should cover it.” He handed over a fifty dollar bill and told Eren what he wanted.
Nodding quickly, Eren stumbled into the store, grabbing a bottle of vodka for himself and the whiskey the stranger wanted, handing over his ID and making sure to keep the guy’s change separate from his own. Once outside, he handed them over.
“Thanks, kid.”
The man went to leave, and Eren once again called out after him. “W-wait, Mister, um, I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
“Levi.” The stranger stopped, turning his head. “My name is Levi.”
“Right. Levi. I’m Eren. And I have plans with my friends tonight, but see… my ex is going to be there and he has a date, and I told my friends I had a date too, and…”
Levi held his hand up immediately, once he worked out where this was going. “Stop right there, kid. There is no way that you were about to ask me to be your date for the evening.”
Eren blushed. “Just a fake date. It’s not like it has to be real, we just have to make my friends believe it. And you’re perfect for it, you’re exactly how I described, uh, him.”
“And in which universe, exactly, would anyone believe that I would go on a date with a brat like you?”
Stung, Eren ducked his head. “Please. Just one night, and then you don’t have to see me again. I did buy your whisky, after all. Not that you owe me or anything.” He added, hastily, seeing Levi’s face darken.
“Sorry, brat. There’s no way. But if you want some advice, come clean. Lies can do more harm than good.” Levi turned and walked away, and Eren slumped down onto the sidewalk, burying his face in his hands.
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he couldn’t even bring himself to look down and answer it, leaving it to vibrate in his pocket. It was probably Mikasa, to make sure he was still coming, and Eren couldn’t face her right now.
“You should probably get that.”
Eren’s head snapped up to see Levi standing a few paces away, looking at him with an unreadable expression. The shorter man’s lips pursed when Eren just stared at him for a few minutes.
“Just dinner. I will stay long enough to eat, and then we make some kind of excuse to leave. You will not behave inappropriately, and you will foot my share of the bill. After tonight, we will ‘break up’,” Levi ground the words out with difficulty, as if he couldn’t believe he was agreeing to the whole thing. “I will need to change.”
“You’ll do it?” Eren got to his feet hastily, hope shining in his eyes as he looked at Levi. “Really?”
Levi fixed him with a look. “Do I look like I’m in the habit of saying things I don’t mean? Shitty brat,” he muttered under his breath. “Let’s go.”
Eren led the way to his car, unlocking it and sliding in. When Levi opened the door, but didn’t climb in, he looked to see what was wrong. Following Levi’s line of sight, he saw the papers from his lunch littering the passenger seat.
“Oh.” He snatched up the greasy papers and tossed them into the back seat, finding a napkin to quickly wipe down the front seat.
Levi shot him a look of distaste, and gingerly slid into the car, sitting stiffly once he’d buckled himself in, as if he was sure he would be filthy if he moved too much. “I live in the Rose-Marie apartment block, if you know where that is.”
Eren swallowed and nodded, starting up the engine. “I live in the Shinganshina apartments just opposite, so we’re fairly close. We could both go home and change and meet somewhere in the middle?”
Levi just grunted his response, and Eren knew better than to make small talk on the drive home. He parked swiftly, and they both separated.
Part of Eren was cringing because he knew that this kind of tension between them wouldn’t fool anyone. He didn’t expect them to be all loved up and on cloud nine, but both of them needed to relax in each other’s company if they expected the evening to work. After a quick shower, he changed into a smart pair of jeans and a navy button down. Finally, Eren made sure to comb his hair, before practically fleeing down to the car.
Ten minutes later, there was still no sign of Levi. Eren began to deflate, feeling like he wasn’t coming after all, that he’d changed his mind and decided that this whole thing was crazy, which it kind of was.
His phone buzzed again in his pocket, and Eren looked down at it to see a text and a missed call from Mikasa. Reluctantly, he opened it.
Are you coming? We’re waiting outside for you. –MA
Eren hesitated, startling when a voice spoke from behind him, and he turned to see Levi. His jaw dropped as he ran his gaze over him. He looked amazing, a crisp white shirt, tight jeans, a black jacket that accentuated how dark his hair was. Eren tried very hard not to drool. This was a fake date, after all.
“Sorry, what?” He asked dumbly, after realising that Levi had spoken.
Levi sighed patiently. “I said, I’m ready to go. Where are we eating?”
Eren unlocked the car and gestured for Levi to climb in. “Uh, the Colossal Titan. It’s my favourite place to eat, they have a pretty varied menu.”
The dark-haired man tensed. “Great. I know someone who works there. And now she’s going to see me on a date with a brat practically half my age, and then everyone will find out,” he scowled. “You owe me big for this, kid.”
Pausing to reply to Mikasa, telling her that they were running late and to head in and that he and Levi would join them soon enough, it took Eren a few seconds to work up the guts to look at Levi. “You don’t have to come, you know,” he said softly, his thumb hovering over the ‘send’ button. “Really. I know this is a lot to ask, especially from someone you don’t know. And I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”
“Relax, brat. I said I’d come, and I will. You’re going to have to tell me a little about you though, so we actually look like we met longer than thirty minutes ago.”
There was logic in that, and Eren felt a little stupid that he hadn’t thought of it himself. “Right. Uh, you need to tell me stuff too. Mikasa, that’s my adopted sister, she’s going to grill us on our relationship anyway, so we should be kind of thorough.”
Levi nodded and decided to take the plunge himself, if he was going to pretend to be dating Eren, then he needed to be comfortable around the kid. “Levi Ackerman. Captain,” he added as an afterthought. “I’m thirty two, my birthday is on December 25th. Yes, Christmas.” He sighed, when Eren’s eyes widened. “Now I work part time at a high school across town. I think that covers the basics.”
Eren swallowed. “Right. Eren Yeager. I’m twenty four, my birthday is March 30th. I work nights at a bar part time to pay my rent when I’m in between writing novels. I’m not working on anything right now though,” he sighed, wishing he was. The royalties from the book sales would come in handy right about now. “How did we meet?”
Deciding he was glad that Eren asked him, instead of making up something that was no doubt embarrassing and distasteful, Levi thought it over. “We can tell the truth on that front, I think. Just make it sound like it happened last week or something.”
Eren nodded. The truth would make it easier to keep track of their story, and both of them could go into enough detail to prove they were telling the truth. Especially since Mikasa was likely to interrogate Levi.
Pulling up at the restaurant, Eren cut the engine and turned to Levi. “You, uh, might need to relax a little. Nobody’s going to believe we’re dating if you glare at me and call me a kid all of the time. I’m not going to kiss you or anything, but we should at least touch, brush elbows and stuff.”
He half-expected Levi to yell at him, tell him that there was no way he could look at him with anything other than disgust and that he could forget about the whole thing. What he didn’t expect was for the shorter man to eye him with amusement.
“I haven’t exactly pretended to be someone’s boyfriend before, but I do know how the whole dating thing works.” Levi murmured, the corners of his mouth tugging up slightly. “I think I can manage, Eren.”
Sliding out of the car, Eren locked it behind them and walked around the hood to meet Levi, who took his arm without prompting. Blushing slightly, Eren allowed Levi to lead them inside, spotting his friends immediately. He felt so nervous, suddenly inwardly panicking that this wasn’t going to work, that he was going to be a laughing stock.
It must have shown on his face, because Levi suddenly tugged on his arm, pulling him so his lips could reach Eren’s ear. “Relax. This will work.”
Not entirely convinced, but forcing his body to lose its tension, Eren led him over to the table. This would work. It would work, it had to.
It did.
Jean’s face was worth every second of panic and emotional trauma that Eren had gone through that day. He stared at Levi with disbelief, which irritated Eren to no end. Ignoring his ex-boyfriend promptly, he introduced Levi to the table. Everyone greeted him politely and enthusiastically, except Mikasa, who was eyeing him with suspicion. Thankfully, Eren had sat between her and Levi, so he could put a stop to any attempt at his adopted sister grilling his fake-boyfriend.
“Well,” Jean spoke up, his mouth slowly turning up into a smirk. “Gotta hand it to you, Eren, I was wondering when we broke up which of us would end up with the … short straw.”
Levi’s hand stilled from where it was aligning his knife and fork and a small smile spread across his face, quite menacing. He locked eyes with Jean, remembering his face and the comment, before turning to Eren, nudging him with his knee. “Let it go.”
“Levi?” Their server came dashing over to their table, her face lit up with enthusiasm, and her eyes wide behind her glasses. “Levi, I don’t believe it! You’re… here! Socialising!” She beamed at him.
“Hange.” Levi greeted with a sigh, his hand twitching where it lay in his lap. “Eren, this is my insufferable acquaintance, Hange. Hange, this is my boyfriend, Eren.”
Hange almost tripped over her own feet and just managed to catch herself on the back of Eren’s chair. “Boyfriend? Levi, that’s… amazing! I’m so happy for you! Why didn’t you tell me? And why didn’t you let me know you were coming tonight?”
“Because then I’d actually have to talk to you, shitty glasses,” he muttered rudely. “Are you planning on doing any work tonight? There’s a lot of hungry people around the table.”
“Right, right. It was lovely to meet you, Eren. What can I get for you?” Hange beamed widely, scribbling down everyone’s order enthusiastically, before skipping off.
The fuss caused by Levi’s arrival had died down significantly with the energy Hange caused, so it left Eren an opportunity to talk to his fake-boyfriend quietly. To his surprise, Levi seemed receptive to the conversation, and they chatted amiably.
By the time everyone had finished with their desserts, the number of wine bottles on the table had gone into double digits, and everyone was feeling quite relaxed.
“So, Levi,” Jean began, a glint in his eyes. “A Captain, huh? Does Eren call you that in bed too? I seem to recall him being quite feisty.” He was oblivious to Marco’s discomfort next to him, or the warning glances being shot in his direction from Armin and Mikasa.
Eren turned a dark shade of red and was seconds away from diving across the table to knock Jean’s lights out, when a hand was placed on his knee.
“No, he doesn’t. Because Eren and I have no need for such a childish display of power in the bedroom. Our sex life is amazing without the need for such things. Perhaps if you focused more on making sure your partner enjoyed it than what he called you, Eren might still think of you as the best he’d ever had.” Levi said all of that in a bored tone, examining his wine glass.
Jean flushed and his eyes narrowed, when Marco got to his feet. “We’re going to head off now. Thank you all for the lovely evening.” His words were soft, and he placed enough money down to more than cover their portion of the check. “It was great to meet you all.”
He left, giving Jean no choice but to follow him out of the restaurant, looking fully chastised from Levi’s words.
Eren was stunned that Levi had defended him like that, his cheeks warm. “Thank you.” He breathed, for Levi’s ears only. “You didn’t have to do that, but thank you.”
It wasn’t until he’d finished his glass of wine that Eren realised Levi’s hand was still on his knee.
The check came, and everyone pulled out their wallets. Eren remembered he was paying for Levi and handed over the cash to Armin, who was taking care of everything.
Heading outside, Eren was a little unsteady on his feet, leaning into Levi, who was content to support him fully. “Should we share a cab?” Eren asked clumsily. “We live close to each other. It would make sense since I can’t drive.”
“It would.” Levi agreed, flagging down a passing taxi. “What a stroke of luck.” He helped Eren into the back seat and slid in next to him, giving his address.
A silence descended over them. Now they were alone, or at least not with their respective friends, there was no need to keep up the pretence of being a couple any more. Both of them seemed to realise at the same time, and straightened up fractionally.
“Was I acceptable this evening?” Levi asked, breaking the silence. “As a fake-boyfriend, I mean. I didn’t embarrass you or anything?”
Eren blinked and turned to stare at Levi incredulously. “You’re kidding, right? You were amazing, the way you shut Jean down like that. And you touched me just the right amount, instead of draping over me or not touching me at all… seriously, you were the best fake-boyfriend I could have asked for.” He gave Levi a slightly drunken grin.
Levi felt himself soften against his will and inclined his head. “Good. Although I must question your taste in men, because your ex is kind of a dick.”
“No need to tell me that.” Eren muttered, staring out of the window. “I’m well acquainted with his personality. But we lived together. It was convenient.”
Silence descended upon them once again, this time remaining until they pulled up outside of their apartment blocks. Eren tried to pay for the taxi, but Levi stopped him, taking out his own wallet and handing a bill to the cab driver.
“Well… thank you for an enjoyable dinner.” Levi said softly, keeping his gaze with Eren. “And surprisingly, an enjoyable evening. Your friends are certainly an experience, Eren.”
Eren smiled and nodded his head. “Thank you, Levi. I had a really nice time too. Thank you for all of this, I’m really grateful. If there’s ever anything I can do for you, well… you know where I live.”
He held out his hand for Levi to shake. The shorter man took it, but pulled him in close, pressing his lips to Eren’s lightly. The kiss only lasted for a second, but it was enough to make both of them flush, lips tingling from the touch.
“All good dates should end on a kiss.” Levi smiled by way of explanation, shrugging as he released Eren’s hand, stepping away. “Good night, brat.”
Eren watched Levi walk away, but the dark-haired man didn’t look back. When he was gone, Eren sighed and turned to head into his own apartment. A kiss hadn’t been part of the deal, neither was Levi paying for the taxi. That had to mean he liked Eren too, right?
It was a fake date, so how come Eren’s whole body was thrumming from just a chaste kiss? Where was this urge to chase after Levi and tell him that he wanted to see him again coming from? Disappointed that he hadn’t even had the sense to ask for Levi’s number, Eren sighed and shook his head, shoving his hands in his pocket to combat the brisk chill of the night.
“Ow, shit.” He pulled his hand back when it caught on something sharp in his pocket. Pulling out, he found a small white card with a cell phone number printed on it neatly. There was no identifying name as to who the number belonged to, but Eren knew.
Even if he hadn’t been able to tell that the neat, precise handwriting matched Levi’s personality perfectly, the writer had been kind enough to leave a message on the back. It was with a spring in his step that Eren let himself into his apartment, grinning widely at the card clutched in his hand.
Brat. Call me tomorrow.