Chapter Text
Steve and Bucky had been cooling their heels in Tony Stark’s LA office for over an hour before the man himself breezed in, entourage in tow. In seconds the office went from peacefully quiet, with only the hum of an extremely efficient central air system in the background, to a cacophony of phones ringing and people trying to get Stark’s attention while he tried to read the papers his PA, a tall strawberry blonde with a no-nonsense air, was putting in front of him. In the chaos, Stark didn’t even notice Steve and Bucky, so with a shared glance and a shrug they sat on the couch in a corner of the enormous office and watched the show.
“This isn’t good enough,” Stark said, paging quickly through one of the documents his PA set in front of him. “Pepper, I gave them clear requirements for these corporate policies, this doesn’t even meet half of the things I told them to put in.”
“The board thought that six months of parental leave would cut too much into the bottom line,” Pepper said, voice carefully neutral. “Same for fully funding all employee health insurance policies.”
“Oh, really?” Stark looked at her over the top of his sunglasses, eyebrow raised. “So they think this is what, a negotiation?” Pepper met his gaze and shrugged. “Well then how about this as a counterproposal. If they don’t agree to adopt my employment policies, I’m going to cut corporate salaries, institute a relative earnings limit and put a cap on the amount of stock options that can be used as compensation. That should help with the bottom line, right?”
“You realize that’s going to include you, right?” Pepper said, clearly trying to smother a smile as Tony scrawled something on the papers in his hands and gave them back.
“What? You mean I get paid?” The phone on Tony’s desk rang and one of the other members of Tony’s entourage answered it, then tried to hand it to him. Tony waved it away with a frown, and the young man started to search the desk for a clean sheet of paper to take a message. “Since when?”
“Tony, you are the CEO, of course you get paid.” Pepper handed something else to sign.
“That’s ridiculous, cut that out immediately.”
Pepper cast her eyes skyward as if praying for patience. She took the message from the young man who had been trying to get Tony’s attention, and handed the note to Tony. “Stane wants to talk to you.”
“I’m sure he does.” Tony noticed that another hoverer, a young lady, was holding a cup of coffee and made grabby hands at it. “I’m going to need a whole pot of this, if you please,” he said, and she scurried away. And that was finally when Tony noticed Steve and Bucky on his couch. “Pep, who are the suits?” He said, gesturing at them with his coffee. He slid his glasses down his nose to study them, and Bucky was struck by the sharp intelligence in those whiskey brown eyes as they raked them from head to toe.
Pepper squared her shoulders and said, “Bodyguards.”
“Bodyguards,” Tony repeated, not taking his eyes away from Steve and Bucky.
“Your bodyguards.” Clearly anticipating a fight, Pepper shooed the rest of the people out of the office until it was just the four of them.
“My-“ Tony whipped his glasses off and turned to look at her incredulously. “Why in the hell do I have bodyguards?”
Steve and Bucky shared a glance and sighed almost in unison. “I give it a week,” Bucky muttered morosely. "He seems pissed."
“That would be a shame,” Steve said, and Bucky knew they were both appreciating the way that Tony’s slacks stretched over his ass as he argued with his PA. Not that they would ever be so unprofessional as to actually make a pass at a client, but Tony was definitely easy on the eyes. This was a dream job for them; not just because the amount of money involved, which was frankly absurd, but also because of the prestige and, well, because it was Tony Stark, who had been on New York’s most eligible bachelor list every year since he turned twenty-one. If there was a male-attracted person who didn’t have Tony Stark on their Christmas list, Steve hadn’t met them.
“We talked about this,” Pepper said firmly, crossing her arms. “You agreed that given the conditions, with you just getting back from Iraq and making all the changes at Stark Industries, that some extra security was a good idea.”
“I said I didn’t want any bull-necked, jack-booted thugs following me around all the time, and you took that as a yes?” Tony whisper-shouted.
“Do you see any bull-necked, jack-booted thugs here?”
“Those guys,” Tony said, gesturing over his shoulder with his sunglasses, “aren’t bodyguards. They’re Chippendale dancers.” One had short dark hair and pale eyes, with a strong, clean-shaven jaw and the other was blonde with a full beard and intense blue eyes. Even with them sitting on the couch, he could tell that they were both tall and rangy, their broad shoulders filling out their well-tailored suit jackets. It was as if someone has found a list called Tony's Fantasies and created two men that checked every box.
“’Those guys’ are former Army Special Forces,” Pepper said. “James helped me pick them, he agreed they were the best.”
“Rhodey was in on this? Traitor,” Tony muttered, and started to put his glasses back on but Pepper stopped him with a hand on his forearm, eyes suddenly serious.
“Tony,” she said softly. “Please. We just got you back, we don’t want to lose you again.”
Tony sucked in a deep breath and pressed his lips together. “That’s dirty pool,” he said finally.
Pepper relaxed minutely, knowing that she had won. She straightened Tony’s lapels and smoothed down his tie. “You should be thanking us,” she said with a cheeky grin. “They are quite handsome, aren’t they?”
Tony grimaced. “They’re a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen, is what they are,” he said glumly. “This is going to be torture.”
“Maybe they’ll be jerks,” Pepper said. "Being an asshole makes a person less attractive, right?" Pepper and Tony both looked at them, and one of them, the dark haired one, noticed they were looking and gave them a tiny wave and cheerful half-smile that revealed a dimple in his cheek. “Oh no, that's adorable," Pepper said sympathetically. "Never mind, you’re screwed," she added, and Tony whimpered in agreement.