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John lost Robin at some point during the night, had gone off with Killian to play a round of beer pong and when he came back, Robin was nowhere to be seen. He figured he'd find him at some point as the crowd dwindled down, but now he's realizing Robin must have gone home early.
The last time he saw Robin, he was in an intense conversation with Regina, and John hopes that wasn't the reason Robin bowed out early. He doesn't know what those two are doing. She was a right idiot for breaking his heart, but so was Robin for not telling her how he felt.
The whole thing seems rather simple to him since they are so obviously still in love with each other, but he does understand why Robin didn't take her back right away. He understands why Robin is having trouble forgiving her.
He's having his own trouble forgiving her for all the pain she caused his friend over the summer. Robin didn't talk much about her, but John could see the pain, the hurt, and it killed him.
His friend has been through so much, and it's taken its toll on him. John does what he can to alleviate his burdens, but there is only so much he can do.
Maybe he'll order them breakfast in the morning, if he can manage to rouse himself before Robin eats. He wants to do something for Robin—he hates to see him suffering, and he wants to give Robin space to talk about it if he wants.
It's on his walk home that it occurs to him that Robin might not be home at all. That perhaps he didn't leave because he was upset, but left with Regina.
The more he thinks about it, the more likely he thinks that is. Robin almost never came home on party nights last year, ending up at Regina's instead. Alcohol may be just what they needed to put all of the shit aside and start over.
He'll have to look and see whether Robin is at their apartment, and if he isn't, John is going to want details. He's not normally one to be so nosy, but after all of the ridiculousness last year, he's invested in the outcome—he wants to see them end up together.
He knows that Regina fucked up, badly, but he also knows that he's never seen Robin happier than he was with her. That's why he's still rooting for them, even though he's pissed at Regina. Robin is the one who has much more to forgive, and if he does then John will, because he trusts his friend and his judgment.
Except when it comes to pizza, and man, he should have ordered one. He's kind of hungry but far too lazy to make something. He's getting tired, is very glad it's only two more minutes before he walks into the lobby of their building—he cannot wait to flop into his bed and go to sleep.
The elevator takes forever to come, something he doesn't understand, considering he doubts many people are up at this hour, but one is out of service, leaving just this one to service the whole building.
Yes, he could take the stairs, it probably would have taken less time, but he's lazy. He walked home instead of cabbing, so that's his exercise for the night.
John manages to drop his keys as he approaches the door of his apartment, groaning as he bends to retrieve them. He gets them in the door okay but turns them the wrong way at first because this stupid lock is backwards.
He hears the click of the lock and sighs, Robin must be home because it wasn't locked before, John just locked it accidentally. Stupid fucking backward door.
While he missed the freedom of this apartment, while he was home for the summer, he didn't miss what a piece of crap it is. Between the faulty elevators, the backwards lock, and their screen door that finally fell off its hinges, it's not ideal, but it's theirs, and he and Robin have made the best of it. John knows once he gets used to it again he won't notice any of these things, but it's going to take a bit of time.
He steps in and throws his keys into his pocket, locking the door behind him as he steps on something that must have fallen off of the coat rack.
He reaches blindly for the light, managing to flick it on at the same time he hears, "Oh god, don't stop," from Robin's room, and jesus fucking christ.
He's wide awake now.
And uncomfortable.
And pissed.
And embarrassed.
And just too many things.
Why did they even come here? She has a whole damn apartment to herself.
It wouldn't be so bad if they weren't being so goddamn loud, but apparently a drunk Regina is a vocal one because he hears her practically scream, and good lord.
On the one hand, good on Robin, his mate clearly has some skills if he's making prim and proper Regina Mills sound like that, but he does not want to hear it.
It's made worse when he looks down at what he's stepping on, and it's her fucking dress. The idiots couldn't even make it to Robin's room.
John thanks god he didn't come home any sooner, because as he kicks her dress away, he spies her thong on the floor, Robin's boxers along with them, and he knows what he could have walked in on. It's bad enough he's getting the soundtrack, he doesn't need the visual as well.
What is it with these two and having sex in the public areas of the apartment? It's not like he hasn't done it, but for god's sake, hide the evidence. And also, you don't do it when your roommate is coming home. He would have thought they learned that after the strip tease incident, but apparently not. No one was the wiser when he fucked Kathryn on the kitchen counter, because he did it when Robin wasn't home. It would be nice if he was shown the same courtesy, but his roommate has failed him again.
He goes to get himself a glass of water, catches a moan he thinks might have been Robin's and shudders—if he never hears that sound again, it will be too soon.
On his way to the kitchen he has to step over Robin's shirt, which somehow made it half-way to the living room. He's happy for them, he is, but god, he does not need to see this, does not need to hear this.
It gets worse as he takes his glass of water toward his room, managing to catch, "Oh god, Robin, fuck me," and these gutteral groans that spill out, which must be from Robin doing as asked.
"Oh god, yes, yes fuck," follows him into his room, and he is going to kill Robin in the morning, that's what he's decided.
He wouldn't be like this if she didn't live alone, but she lives alone! For fuck's sake go there.
He sticks in his earplugs, puts on some white noise and his fan and prays all that drowns them out.
It doesn't though, not quite, he hears a few more pleasured screams, and he groans every time. He wants nothing more than to yell out, "We get it, it's good," but Robin actually might murder him, and he doesn't want to fuck up what's clearly some amazing sex.
Robin is so lucky that he is a good friend.
They'll be done soon, they have to be, they can't go on like this forever, right?
And what the fuck is Robin on right now to keep this up?
At some point John must fall asleep, because he wakes up to silence, and... is that coffee?
He and Robin hit up the thrift stores the other day in an effort to spruce the place up, but only ended up with a couple things, including a coffee maker that's been a game changer.
He takes his headphones out, turns off his fan and plugs in his dead phone that he apparently didn't charge last night.
He's just about to exit his room when he hears them.
Not going at it again, thank god, he'd interrupt this time, his courtesy all spent—but they are talking and it sounds serious.
He catches Regina yelling, "Then what the hell did you mean?" before it goes quiet, and oh shit.
He can't go out now.
So he sits and waits, thinks he hears Robin talking, but can't make out the words.
He abandons his door and leans onto the outside wall of his room, the one that connects with the living room to see if they are done.
He can hear more clearly now, shouldn't be eavesdropping, but they've trapped him in his room, and he doesn't want to stay trapped in here if he doesn't have to.
The conversation starts to get intense, personal, and he really should not be listening, so he flops back onto his bed and waits them out.
He's ansty to know what's happening, but he waits until he hears the door swing open and shut before he exits his room.
The trail of clothing is now gone, but he doesn't say a word to Robin until he takes the first sip of his coffee.
Then he asks, "Did you manage to find your clothes?" watching as Robin's face goes red.