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Tine slowly woke up, feeling some sunshine rays warm his face and listening to a few birds singing. He then felt a weight on his left arm and shoulder, as well on his chest, so he opened his eyes and couldn't help but feel blessed by the image he was able to see.
Resting his head on Tine's shoulder while wrapping his left arm on the latter's chest was Sarawat, slowly breathing, looking like a sacred figure, and Tine could feel his heart ache because of the indescribable love he feel for this boy. His boy. It's been almost a year since he wakes up everyday with this same vision, but everyday seems like the first day; he's experiencing day after day the sensation of peace, calmness, tenderness that is waking up next to Sarawat, and he just can't believe he's lucky enough to get to wake up next to him for all the days of the rest of his life.
"I can feel you're looking at me." Sarawat suddenly said, with a hoarse voice. He wrapped himself tighter on Tine and left a quick peck on his shoulder.
For a second Tine didn't said anything, wondering if he looked at Sarawat for a long time that he didn't even notice the boy waking up, but then he smiled. "You're right, I'm looking at you."
"Why? Is there dry dool on my face?"
Tine laughed. "No, saraleo. No dry dool. I'm just admiring you."
Sarawat opened one eye, then the other, and looked at Tine for a second before softly smiling. "Admiring me?"
"Yes, Wat, admiring you. It's not like you don't know I do that. You actually probably know that I can make a dissertation on every detail of yours if you want me to because how much I admire you." Tine said.
"I actually don't know that. I think I'll have to listen to your dissertations about me so then I can believe that. Scientific proof, you known." Sarawat said with a playful grin.
"Ok then, I'll prove to you I can't do that."
"Can't wait to see then."
Tine stepped back a little so he could get a better look at Sarawat's face and then started to speak. "I'll start from the top. First, let me talk about your hair. I love your hair, Wat, I really do. It's so soft and beautiful. I love running my fingers trough your hair, it seems like it'll melt in my hands because of how soft it is. I like when you do undercut, I think it's sexy, but I also like when you take a longer while to cut it and it grow a little and starts to fall on your face. I also like that you can style your hair in any way and it still looks nice. It looks beautiful parted in the middle, on the side, all the way forward and messy like when you play football or wake up. When you sleep on my chest your hair touches my face and it’s so good because it feels like silk is touching me, and it also smells so good, it's so good when I wake up and the first thing I sense is the smell of your hair. I admit that when we hadn't moved in together yet and I slept at your old dorm I always used your shampoo instead of the one you bought for me because I loved having my hair smelling like yours."
"I always wondered how my shampoo ended up so fast considering that I use it little when I wash my hair but now I have the answer." Sarawat said jokingly but Tine could notice his big smile and that his ears were red of shyness.
"Shut up, let me continue. Another detail of yours that I like are your eyebrows. They're so nice, you know, they have a perfect design even though they're thinner at the end. They're thick and long and when you frown your face they make you look more intimidating, even though you're not, but they just fit perfect on you."
"You're really talking about my eyebrows."
"I'm! I told you can make a dissertation about every detail of yours. Now stop interrupting me. I'll talk about your eyes now. People usually say that light eyes are the prettiest, but if they say that it's because they have never seen your eyes. They're dark, a dark brown that sometimes looks like black, and you can find a person with eyes of this same color anywhere, but yours still different. I love the way you express your feelings through your eyes, Wat. When you're confused you have a habit of leaving one eye more open than the other. When you're sad or mad I instantly notice because of your eyes, I can't really explain but I just see your feelings trough them. They shine less when you're not feeling good, but when you feel good, god Wat, when you feel good they just look like stars. When you're playing guitar, singing, playing football, when you're having fun with our friends, when you're talking about things that you love, when you... when you look at me. They just shine in these situations. I took a while to believe that your eyes shine when you look at me. My friends always says that and they also say that they can see affection and love in your eyes when you look at me and I really didn't thought it was possible but I started to pay attention to them when you're looking at me and I just notice that they... shine so bright." Tine said the last words with a low voice and could feel that his cheeks were red.
"Your friends and you are completely right, Tine." Sarawat said putting a hand on Tine's cheek and caressing it. "I didn't know that my eyes are so expressive, but one thing I know is that I look at you differently than I look at anyone because you're the most important and precious person in the world for me, nuisance. You're the one I love and will love for the rest of my life, the one that makes me happy the most, so I'm really glad my eyes are so incredible like you said and can show you how much love and tenderness I feel towards you."
Tine smiled softly at his boyfriend's words. God, I'm the luckiest man alive, he thought. "I love you too, saraleo. But let me finish my dissertation. The next detail of yours that I admire is your nose. It's just so beautiful! I don't know what to say, I just love it, the shape is really amazing and fits perfectly on your face. It makes you look fancy! I know, it sounds strange, but it just does. When you smile its shape doesn't change, it just stays the same, as if it were a plaster sculpture of an ancient greek statue."
Sarawat let out a loud laugh. "Greek statue, serious babe?"
Tine rolled his eyes. "C'mon Wat, you know I'm not exaggerating, you look like a fucking greek god. Anyways, now let me talk about your lips. Goddamnit, Wat, your lips look like art." Tine said while running his thumb over Sarawat's lips. "The shape is just so perfect. I love the curve of your upper lips, and the fact that even though the shape of your lower and upper lip are different, they have the same thickness. They're so thick and long but they're so soft. I love kissing you and feel the softness of them. I love that fact that your lips touch me anywhere and kiss me anywhere and I can feel this softness and warmness anywhere. I love when you kiss my head and we're close, when you kiss my forehead when you say you love me, when you kiss the tip of my nose after you compliment me, when you kiss my closed eyes when I'm nervous, when you kiss my eyebrows when I'm angry, when you kiss my cheeks when we're brushing our teeth or say goodbye, when you kiss my lips all the time without a reason, when you kiss my neck when you want to tease me, when you kiss my fingers when I hurt them because of playing guitar for so long, when you kiss my.... nipples. When you kiss me in other places I'm definitely not gonna say out loud because I'm already getting ashamed. But I just love the fact that you have the prettiest lips in the world and they kiss me and only me."
Tine almost couldn't finish his speak because Sarawat suddenly started to peck him all over the face, and then started to kiss him on the lips. They kissed gently, softly, slowly, and both were smiling during the kiss. Sarawat finished the kiss giving more pecks on Tine's lips and when Tine opened his eyes, he could see a smile on Sarawat's face. "So you like when I kiss your nipples, huh?"
"Shut up, ok!. Another detail of yours that I love with all my heart is your smile. Wat, it's so beautiful. You're not a type of person that smiles a lot when you're in public, but when you're with our friends or with me you smile so much and I think you don't even notice when you do that. I realised that you often smile with your mouth closed, so when you smile with your mouth opened I always take a second to admire because is so, so beautiful, Wat. Your teeth are so white and straight, when you show them in your smile I can't help but smile together. It's just contagious. I love seeing your smile. Your different types of smile. The big smile when our friends say something stupid, the soft smile when you comfort me or just look at me, the happy smile when we're holding each other and the bright smile when I say I love you."
Sarawat couldn't stop smiling and so did Tine.
"But one thing I don't like when you smile is that the scar you have above your upper lip almost disappear. It's another detail of yours that I love. It's beautiful and I love kissing it, just like the one next to your eyebrows and the one on your forehead that no one can see because you bangs hide it, only I can see it. People hate scars and say they're ugly but yours are so beautiful and just make you look more perfect and gorgeous."
Tine took Sarawat's hand that was still resting on his cheek and took it to his lips to press a soft kiss on it. "Your hands. They're everything. I just love them too. They're very big and masculine and a little rough due to the calluses but at the same time they manage to be soft and gently. I love how you use your hands to play guitar, but I love more when you use your hands on me. When you pet my hair, press them to my cheeks when you kiss me or comfort me. I love when you trace my skin with them, so soft just like you're afraid I'll break, just like my skin is so precious. You caress me with your hands, you show your love to me with your hands. You give me pleasure with your hands. I love feeling your hands on me, your soft skin on mine, making me feel so, so loved."
"You are so loved, Tine. I love you with my entire existence." Sarawat said hugging Tine so tight like the latter was going to disappear.
"I know, Wat. I really know and I'm incredible grateful for that." Tine said hugging Sarawat back, pressing his arms over Sarawat's. "This is another detail of yours that I love. Your arms. They're so beautiful and strong and seems like they were made to hold me. I love when you hug me because it's always a tight hug because of your strong arms. I love when my back is facing you and you hug me from behind and wrap your arms around my waist. Or when we're walking side by side and you put your arms on my shoulder or wrap your arm around mine. I just feel safe."
"There's a song that I love and it's called Eighteen." Sarawat said looking at Tine. "There's a part of this songs that says 'and all I can do is say that these arms are made for holding you', and I feel like this part, just like the rest of the song, describe me and you. My arms are made for holding you, Tine. I'll do everything to stop you from falling, but if you fall, you can be sure that I'll be there to hold you and lift you up."
"This is another detail for you that I love, Sarawat. You're bad at communication but when it comes to show your love for me you just become a kind of Shakespeare or something like that." Tine said laughing and Sarawat joined him. "You always show your affection towards me and always did even before we started dating or before I started to feel the same for you. You were never ashamed of showing your love towards me."
"How could I be ashamed of loving you? You're the best thing that ever happened to me."
Sarawat pressed his forehead at Tine's and the latter closed his eyes. "Everyday, every single day I think about how lucky I'm to have you, Sarawat. I never tough I could be so loved and could love someone this much."
"Me too, Tine. Me too." Sarawat pressed his nose gently at Tine's. "But back at your dissertation, is it over? Don't you think there's any detail left? Like Sarawat Expo or something."
"Shit, saraleo, you just ruined the moment." Tine said playfully pushing Sarawat's shoulder and laughing, and Sarawat started to laugh too.
"I didn't ruined anything. It was a simple question."
"I think what what we did last night answer your question very well." Tine ironically said.
"Yes, I think it did." Sarawat said with a grin on his face.
Both boys fell on silence, and when Sarawat turned on the side Tine followed him, so they could face each other. They were so close that their eyelashes were almost touching and their breath were mixing.
"Why did you decided to say those things, Tine? I'm not complaining, you have no idea how happy I'm to know that you admire me this much, but you never made speeches about how you love me or things like that."
"That's why I decided to do that today. I just love you, Wat, so much, but sometimes I feel like I don't show it enough. We have a established relationship and you know I love you, I'm just scared that sometimes you may think you love me more than I love you, because it's not true. I love you just as much as you love me, I really do. With all my heart."
Sarawat gave him a soft smile. "Tine, I know our love is mutual. You may not notice but you just take care of me as much as I take care of you and you show your love for me just like I show my for you. I believe in your love for me. You may not write love songs for me like I do for your, or you may not be cheesy all the times with me like with I'm with you, but you do show your love for me in other ways. Let make me remember that you're the one the say 'I love you' everyday before we sleep. You comfort me when I'm sad or angry, you hug me and tell me everything will be okay. You take care of me when I'm sick or hurt after a football game. When you notice I'm more quiet than the usual you reassure to me that I can't talk to you if there's something that's bordering me. When you have to leave early because of cheerleading practice you leave my breakfast ready because you know I get discouraged to eat when you are not with me, and when I stay at football practice until it's so late you bring me food there and then we come back home together. When you know I have a test you always wait for me outside my classroom in case I need comfort if I fail an exam. You're always there for me."
Love and gratitude. That's what both boys were feeling at this moment.
"But I won't lie, I loved hearing you talking about how you love my details. I mean, where the hell I would find a boyfriend that can make a dissertation about my eyebrows? Nowhere! You're so unique. My strange one." Sarawat said.
"Shut up! You're so annoying." Tine said and the room were filled with their laughs again. After a time the laughter disappeared and little by little the boys were falling asleep again.
They fell sleep listening to each other's heartbeat and breathing. One of their favorite sounds in the world.