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Dating Oikawa was like walking on clouds. He was completely different then the way he presented himself. The person who appeared confident, was insecure. The person who seemed like a social butterfly, didn’t get along with many people. Oikawa Tooru was the type to unleash his emotions at someone to protect his soft heart. The person who seemed like a flirtatious playboy, was a kindhearted person on his search for love. This was the type of person Oikawa Tooru was.
When Oikawa Tooru, confessed his love under the stars to you, you were ecstatic, and happily accepted him for who he truly was, for the part of him he never showed to others. Your relationship was under wraps. There wasn’t too much public affection, mostly because of school and his fangirls, but he reassured you that you were the person he loved the most. He gave you all of his affection when he wasn’t playing volleyball, and made sure you were comfortable with him.
His team was comfortable with you as well. They knew you were a wonderful person, and liked you as his partner in crime. A wonderful, understanding, considerate human being. Everyone was on friendly terms with you, whether it came about by helping them with their homework, giving them pep talks, or just being funny with them. They all were friends with you.
This sounds like the perfect relationship. Although, every relationship has its twists and turns; whether they were good or bad. This happened in most relationships. Your mental state was degrading considering what your beloved “Prince Charming” was doing. No, his fangirls did not bother you, they were certainly jealous but did not try, thinking you were just a toy. Iwaizumi wasn’t involved either, in fact he didn’t really ask about it. He certainly knew his best friend was in a relationship, but did not confront him about what happened between the two of you.
Oikawa ignored you for a week. You did confront him, although he brushed it off and said he was completely fine. You knew this was not true, but gave him the suggestion “I’m always here for you, no matter what. If you want to talk about it, or need comfort, I’ll always welcome you with open arms.” You smiled at him. He nodded, and laughed.
“Thanks (Y/N)-chan! You’re the best!” He replied happily to you. Yet he did not say a single thing about what was bothering him.
You did your best to help him feel better without him talking about it. After all, you didn’t want to force him. Therefore you did your best to make him happy. Whether that was buying him drinks, making him lunch, cheering him on, motivating him, and giving him affection, all while not invading his privacy or comfort zone. It was eating away at you. This went on for a bit. Days seemed longer than normal without Oikawa being himself, soon about a month passed. You two would still have fun together during the weekend which was normal, but never a glance at school. You didn’t understand. Conversations would cut short, it became a regular thing to have small talk and leave.
Oikawa was at the gym with practice. It was an ordinary after school practice before the weekend. He was not distracted. So what was bothering him?
Practice had just finished, and Iwaizumi was on duty to lock up, so Oikawa stayed behind in the locker room reading a volleyball magazine. “Oi, Trashykawa. You haven’t been annoying today. What’s up?” Iwaizumi state’s casually as he was about to tell Oikawa he was done. He did glance over at the magazine, seeing Ushijima Wakatoshi representing Shiratorizawa in the magazine. “You’re not thinking of Shiratorizawa are you?”
Oikawa laughed. “Never Iwa-Chan. Like I would go to a place where Ushiwaka is at.” He places the magazine into his bag. “Ready to go already? You took awhile.”
“Shut up. What’s bothering you?” Oikawa simply got up and walked out, Iwaizumi followed to walk home with him. “Iwa-Chan, if you think too much your brain will hurt.”
“Oi-stop bottling things up already.” Oikawa just continued to laugh it off. “Nothing. Relationship problems I guess? I’ll deal with it.” Iwaizumi silences himself, not sure how to respond.
“Did something happen to you and your girlfriend/boyfriend?” Iwaizumi asked in a more gentle tone this time. He wanted to help his friend after all.
“Not that I know of. I guess the only thing that bothered me was the way (Y/N)-Chan presented herself/himself/themself. Although I don’t think that’s the case.” Oikawa added on to his little confession to Iwaizumi.
“Why not then? You’re an idiot, you probably did something you didn’t mean.” Iwaizumi suggested as Oikawa gave his classic ‘Mean~’ Iwaizumi sighed afterwards.
“We didn’t get into a fight, and I definitely didn’t do anything this time. It’s like (Y/N) is acting differently..” Oikawa trailed off. “Something about it throws me off.”
“Then talk to them you idiot. Communication is important. No one can read your idiotic mind Trashykawa.” Iwaizumi grunted at Oikawa with zero hesitation.
“Right right. Thanks Iwa-Chan.”
You were currently sitting in your room in silence. You figured Oikawa was going home and didn’t want to call him while he was having fun with his best friend. Browsing through your phone was the excessive amounts of photos of Oikawa Tooru in intimate relationships with other people. You knew he wasn’t a playboy, so you brushed it off. Although everyday there seemed to be a new photo sent your way by your trusted friends; which soon got to you considering Oikawa didn’t talk to you as much. Everyday, Oikawa seemed to talk to you less and less. Occasionally, the underclassmen of his teammates would check in with you. Yahaba gave you occasional jokes. Kyoutani made an effort to hold your load of books and talk to you. Kindaichi, kindly suggested if you ever needed something he wouldn’t mind helping. Even Kunimi, who was always on energy saving mode, went up to you to see if you were alright. “Your relationship seems like it’s faltering. Since when do you even talk anymore?”
Bottling away your feelings, you felt the need to cry at the sudden realization of the red flags. You hoped for the best and was determined to get through any issues with the grinning captain.
The following day, Iwaizumi woke up Oikawa, to ensure that he talked with you. Oikawa picked you up from your place and walked by your side. You two were taking a stroll through the town. “Oikawa..Why have you been ignoring me?” You suddenly spoke hesitantly.
“Ignoring you? What makes you think that?” Oikawa asked dumbstruck.
“I guess ignoring wasn’t the right word to use. We haven’t talked much I guess. We don’t even interact at school and whenever we hang out together, it’s silent. Did I do something to upset you?” You asked quietly.
“Why do you always seem like you’re looking at my back and not at me?” Oikawa started to reply, sassily back.
You remained quiet as you thought about what he meant, and how you were going to answer him. You perked your ears up to listen to him go on. “Why would I date someone who can’t stand by me? It’s like you’re telling me to go back to all of the other people I dated.”
Tears formulated in your eyes as you listened to his words. You couldn’t do anything but stay silent, walking beside him. You gulped, shakily responding towards his attitude against you, “I didn’t want to invade your privacy. I trusted that if you needed anything you would come to me or resolve your issues. I uhm I’ve tried to be supportive of you.” You were about to break. You should have listened to Kunimi, and his other underclassmen, who had gone out of his way to inform you about Oikawa. After all, they've known each other since middle school, longer than you’ve known him.
“I guess I’m sorry for worrying about you and not talking to you. I just rather have someone who will say what’s up.” He started jokingly. He didn’t mean any word of that sentence, and you knew it. Yet something about it was heartbreaking.
And that’s where everything went downhill. Your calm, understanding demeanor broke down; “I’m sorry then. I’m sorry that I cared, that I put my faith in you, I watch your back to make sure no tears are hidden, I watch from afar to ensure you’re okay, I love you so I didn’t care how I stood. You never told me ‘what’s up’ for a month and what two weeks? I can’t. I’m not one who can just casually say ‘I don’t feel loved anymore after being tossed away and only hit up to be your rebound.’ So if that bothered you so much then I’m sorry. Here I say, I’ll end this relationship so you can date that person who can tell you what’s on their mind.” Tears feel from your eyes, as Oikawa just realized what he had done. “So go be happy, if it’s not me it’s fine…” as you walked away from him, not wanting to cry once more.
He messed up. He knew it too. He didn’t mean to do that. He was about to lash out for no reason. The person who put his faith in him. The person who genuinely cared for him, now walked away. He couldn’t get that back. He could only hope to be part of your life once more. Seeing your tears fall for only a split second, painted his heart into shattered glass, cutting away at himself, piece by piece. He mustered the courage to call out to you, but you could do nothing but walk away, only hearing the voices in your head telling you ‘Your love was just full of cries.’
Oikawa, who had watched your back fade away from his vision, once saw the tears that were behind him, the tears that were always hidden behind your eyes.
“Dating Oikawa Tooru was like walking on clouds. Rain that fell from them and in fact Impossible”