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Lan Wangji sat in the cold cave. It was the fourth anniversary of Wei Ying’s untimely death. It was the tragic kind that scars all around you more than it does the person who died. The damage had been done. Wei Ying was gone. And he hoped just like he did every night when he played inquiry he would get a response. Any response.
He sat poised in front of Wangji, his guqin and took a deep breath before he started to play the now painful song of inquiry. He felt his consciousness reach out to any spirit who may have any sort of news of Wei Wuxian, Wei Ying, or the Yingling Patriarch. Anything related to the man who stole his heart. This time for the first time there was a response. With shortened breath he started the standard questions.
“Who are you?”
The notes floated around the ice cold cave and pond.
“It's your… fault.”
The spirits notes were short and forceful.
Lan Zhan’s first instinct was to disconnect from spirits' conversation. But for some reason he just pressed harder letting his determination show.
“Wei Ying?”
He plucked the guqin a few more times, more forcefully then he intended but his hope was up.
“I died due to you.”
Came the spirits reply once again the notes were forceful and full of resentment this time.
It wasn’t a lie Lan Zhan would have recognized the signs of that. So this spirit, whoever it was, believed that Lan Wangji was the one who had killed it.
“Who are you?”
He asked once again more gently this time.
“Lan Wuyu.”
The reply was almost gentle this time too.
“Mother?”
Lan Zhan inquired mixed emotions hiding just under the surface. Feelings of hope, sadness and confusion. She had said that Lan Wangji had killed her. She was determined that it was true.
“How did you die?”
Years of training kept his hands steady but despite being careful the question still came out desperate.
“I lacked freedom. I wanted to be free too.”
Came the puzzling answer the sharp notes left echoing in the cold cave.
“Who killed you?”
Once more the notes rang a bit desperate from Lan Zhan. His feelings were confusing and even now he couldn’t remember if his mother normally talked in riddles.
“You and a-huan… Without you two I’m now free.”
Lan Zhan just cut communications with the spirit after that. His cheeks were wet and raw from tears. He always had a good feeling on how his mother died. Now he knew. That she blamed him and Huan. He felt his heart break once more and his determination to try again grow. No matter which vengeful spirit appeared next he was one step closer to Wei Ying.
“I Must be!”
He thought deeply and frequently on how he would treat Wei Ying if he were ever to return. He wouldn’t lose another person who was important to him like that again. At their own hands. Not without doing everything he could to save him.
He returned to Inquiry this time no spirits answered him but he didn’t stop playing as the dawn came and went and as his fingers began to bleed. It was his older brother who found him. Distressed, it had been three days since he went into seclusion and he had promised A-yaun a bedtime story last night.
“ It was...our...fault.”
Lan Zhan tearfully whispered. They never talked about it and Lan Zhan was sure it would stay a secret between the two brothers about the state that Lan Zhan was in when he was found and about who he spoke to that night.