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He would never forget the way this night felt under the light of the smiling moon.
Well, it didn't really feel so much like a smile as it did a smug, taunting smirk; as if it knew that it was the last crescent moon that Remus would see as a student at Hogwarts. Not that he'd ever come back as anything else, either. It was one thing to make excuses for a student, but he couldn't see Dumbledore risking having a fully-grown, adult werewolf around children.
No, this was the last crescent moon he'd ever see at Hogwarts, and soon it would be the last full moon, the last day of class, the last train ride, the last day with Sirius…
Okay, that also wasn't really true. He was sure they would see each other after graduating, but it wouldn't be the same. Sirius was going to live with James at his house again and join the Auror training program with him. Peter wasn't sure what he was doing yet, but he had to go home to take care of his mother, who wasn't doing well on her own. And Remus was also going back to live with his parents, but the only job he'd probably be able to find would be in the Muggle world, where nobody knew about his condition.
Remus sighed and dropped his head on his knees. He didn't want to think about it, but he just wasn't sure how strongly the Marauders would stick together after graduation, and he couldn't help mourning the potential end of their friendship.
"Hey! What're you doing up here?"
Sirius' voice echoed up the stairwell, and Remus turned to look down through the grating at the rising mop of wild, curly dark hair, unable to stop a small smile from working its way onto his face. Here was another thing graduation might finally force him to confront: the futility of his crush on Sirius.
"Could hardly believe it when I saw your name in the Astronomy Tower," Sirius said, waving the half-open map as he reached the top step. "Our Moony, not in the library so close to N.E.W.T.s?"
"Just needed a break, Pads," Remus said, shrugging and turning back to look out at the sliver of the moon again. He heard Sirius move closer, and then drop down next to him, slinging an arm over Remus' shoulder. Remus couldn't help leaning into it, just a little, although he knew it didn't mean much, because Sirius was overly affectionate with everyone.
"C'mon, Moony," Sirius said, more gently, "I know you. What's got your wand in knots?"
Remus knew better than to try and keep a secret from Sirius when he was already on the scent, but he didn't have to tell him everything.
"Graduation," Remus told him, keeping things as vague as possible.
There was a momentary beat of heavy silence, in which Remus felt a sudden stab of panic that all his worries were coming to fruition now, instead of later, and all the sadness and grief he had been trying to prepare himself for was going to hit all at once before he was ready, before Sirius spoke.
"You've been overthinking things again, haven't you?"
"What?"
"You have," Sirius said, matter-of-factly. "James and Peter and I were discussing it earlier. We've been your friend for seven years now —"
"Six," Remus corrected him.
"No, maybe you were trying not to be our friend in first year, but it still counts." Sirius paused briefly to glare at him. "But don't sidetrack me. Did you think we wouldn't notice you were trying to distance yourself?"
Remus stiffened and glanced away, unable to meet Sirius' accusing gaze. It was true, but he couldn't help it. His worry about the future, his dread of losing his first and only friends and being alone again had consumed him to the point he'd increasingly started avoiding them over the last few weeks, convinced what he'd feared was already true.
"Moony… Moony, we're your friends," Sirius said. "We're not just going to drop you like — like, I dunno, Ashwinder eggs."
Remus nearly rolled his eyes.
"Alright, you don't have to say it, that was pretty terrible," Sirius laughed. "I just mean, we're not going anywhere. It's gonna be weird after we graduate and we all have real jobs and stuff, but Marauders stay together."
Sirius' words were like a Lumos Maxima, blasting away the dark, creeping thoughts that had been growing in Remus' mind. He relaxed again, letting himself enjoy the warmth of his best friend, and he could only blame Sirius' intoxicating presence for what popped out of his mouth next.
"So, you're saying you won't just love me and leave me?"
Remus didn't really register what he'd said until he felt Sirius' arm drop away, and then Remus turned quickly, trying to figure out what was wrong.
"James said he wouldn't tell," Sirius said quietly, and Remus couldn't work out if he was afraid or angry. "Well, I won't apologize for it."
"What?" Remus asked, completely and utterly confused.
"It's not like you need me to spell it out for you," Sirius said sullenly, and Remus wanted to insist, that yes, he really did, but Sirius kept going, "but alright, I guess it's better if I just say it."
Sirius took a deep breath, and then looked Remus directly in the eyes.
"Remus Jedidiah Lupin, I love you."
There was a second where everything in the world seemed to stand still; a second where Remus feared that Sirius would keep speaking and what he'd just said would become something less than what Remus was hoping for, but that moment passed, and Sirius was still looking at him like he'd hung the moon.
"Sirius, I —" Remus' brain briefly skipped and stuttered like the rocks Hagrid liked to throw over the lake at the idea that he was about to say this out loud for the first time—and then, he smiled. "I love you, too."
Sirius made an odd noise and then abruptly launched himself forwards, so that Remus suddenly found himself with his arms full of his half-laughing, half-crying best friend. He hugged him as close as he possibly could and turned his head so he could press a kiss into Sirius' cheek, feeling like his heart was about to explode with happiness at any moment.
Eventually, when Sirius had calmed down and begun reverentially kissing every inch of Remus' exposed skin he could find, he felt the need to set one other thing straight.
"You know, that's not my middle name," Remus said, and felt Sirius twist around to look at him. "It's actually John."
"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" Sirius protested, with a mischievous smile. "You've only got the initial on your trunk — it could've been anything!"
Remus laughed, shaking his head quietly, and as his eyes passed over the smiling moon again, he sent up a silent thanks. He would certainly never forget this night.