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It started with a kiss. A simple lips grazing on the forehead that meant nothing special to Nadir but seemed to mean otherwise to Erik.
It was on one evening. Nadir came home to find Reza was with Erik, both sitting on the floor, papers and toys scattering around them. It was the sight that met him more and more often as Erik gradually became a regular guest in his house.
The young magician whose entire face, except for his eyes, was always hidden behind a white mask. Those expressive yellow eyes that shone like the golden orbs under the yellow lamplight glanced at Nadir when he entered the parlor, a glee showing in that gaze. He made a nod as his way of greeting and Nadir nodded back.
Reza also heard his arrival. He immediately stood up from the floor cushion and ran toward him. Nadir welcomed him into his arms and crouched down to hug him tightly.
"Have you been good?" He asked the boy in his arms.
"Yes. I've missed you," came the muffled answer. Nadir released him. He looked at his boy, met his eyes, and smiled warmly. Reza had bad eyesight, a disease that started a long time ago, but he could still be able to see, albeit very unclear.
"It was just four days that I was away." He chuckled when the boy started to protest. "I've missed you, too. But I believe you have Erik to keep you entertained."
The man in the sentence also stood up from the carpet and walked toward them. Nadir could see that he meant to leave.
Erik tended to come and go whenever he liked without words and Nadir didn't like that. He rose to his feet as well to at least get Erik to say goodbye. But before Erik could walk past them and out the door, Reza tugged at his shirtsleeve.
"Can I show father the trick you taught me, sir?"
Erik seemed a bit surprised but his voice was encouraging when he spoke. "Yes, of course. Remember, don't rush it."
Reza smiled widely at the approval then turned to his father. He began to do a magic trick from his handkerchief with his hands and fingers. The trick was simple but still impressive since it was done so smoothly. Nadir and Erik both clapped their hands when the show ended.
"Well done," Erik praised.
"That was wonderful," Nadir chimed in.
Reza was overjoyed. He could not contain his radiant smile. And it was so lovely a sight that Nadir couldn't do anything more than to lean in and press a kiss to his boy's head.
When he leaned back he could feel Erik staring at him. Those yellow eyes filled with awe and strange wonder, then there was also some longing and sadness mixed in his gaze.
And perhaps Nadir was so wearied from the long journey to be in his right mind, perhaps the atmosphere right here was so sweet and warm that the sudden sadness in his eyes made it unacceptable or perhaps Erik should get his reward as well for making his son happier than he had ever been in years.
Without a second thought, Nadir cupped his hand at the back of Erik's neck to tilt his head down a little and pressed a kiss to his forehead, right on the bare skin between his mask and his hairline. The swift movement was like a gust of wind. The kiss was light, just a brush of lips. It ended before they both knew it.
Erik became paralyzed when he realised what had just happened. His eyes wide behind the holes of his mask, starring at Nadir in total shock.
Allah! What had he done!?
Nadir suddenly felt embarrassed at his own action. His face felt hot all of a sudden. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly then tried to regain himself. He cleared his throat and opened his hands before him. He needed to explain this and could only hope that it was valid enough.
"Um...that was a reward for your invaluable favor for my son." He flashed Erik a hopefully-not-awkward smile despite his sudden urge to run. He'd better got this done quickly so he could go punish himself later. Or rather before Erik decided to kill him. "It's very nice of you to come and spend time with Reza like this. Especially while I'm away," he added.
Erik was silent for a while. When he wouldn't respond, Nadir watched him carefully. The man in a mask turned his head away from him now as if he wanted to hide his face, as if he wasn't already wearing a mask. His body was slightly shaking. He swayed as if he was about to reach out for him and at the same time wanted to run away. His hands clenched into fists.
Nadir watched Erik's strange manner with interest. And then he was starting to worry lest Erik might be plotting his murderous plan. He began to reach for his son in fear of the unpredictable outcome.
Eventually, Erik seemed to collect himself enough to respond. He wouldn't meet Nadir's eyes when he mumbled, "ah...that was...unexpected."
His voice was slightly trembling, but there was also an odd edge in it. Strangely, Erik suddenly seemed so young. He became to Nadir like a child presented by a box of presents but trying hard to refrain from taking it. He'd seen the same expression from his son so many times. Nadir wondered for a moment how old he actually was but kept silent and let Erik continue.
"I didn't do it and expected a reward...but," Erik seemed so nervous and uncertain that he stopped talking again. Finally, he met Nadir's eyes, there was a hint of fear in his gaze. But his words were brave enough when he said, "I think, perhaps, I should take it."
After one final take of breath, Erik turned to leave without another word and within seconds he was gone out the door into the night.
Nadir just stood there and blinked at the empty space where Erik used to be, still couldn't believe what just happened.
"Father, I think he liked it." Reza's remark startled him.
Nadir turned to his son. "Do you think so?" And at the boy's confident nod, he sighed fondly at him. "Yes, I also think he did."
At least let's hope so, he thought.
Long after he tugged his son into bed, Nadir was still wide awake. He couldn't erase the memory of the brief moment the longing and sadness projected from that pair of yellow eyes, and possibly the fear Erik had in that last gaze.
It stirred something within him that he hadn't felt for a long time.
Also, it was the first time Nadir saw fear in Erik's eyes. Even just the slightest bit of it, it still caught him off guard and left the uneasy feeling in his heart knowing that that fear might be caused by him. Nadir didn't want Erik to feel like that around him ever again.
He fell asleep with a certain pair of eyes on his mind.
*
The next time, it was some weeks later, late in the afternoon. He was just back from the police department and was sitting on the veranda at his apartment when Erik showed up, dripping with blood.
Nadir leapt to his feet in an instant. Worry crept up on him at the sight of blood.
Erik clutched to his rib where the wound must have been. He let out a small sigh when Nadir came to help him by his side.
Nadir half carried him into his house and ordered his servants to bring him what he needed then arranged for Erik to lay down on the divan. He also told them to keep out Reza for a while.
"May I?" Nadir asked, crouching down on the floor.
Erik nodded his approval and lifted up his shirt just enough to show the wound on his lower rib. It was a single knife wound, though it was not deep, it cut long and drew so much blood that his shirt was already soaked.
Nadir found that he wasn't surprised as he should have been. He knew Erik had made a lot of enemies, thus something like this bound to happen and it was only a matter of time. But still, he was worried. What if Erik wasn't so lucky next time?
He didn't want to guess who was responsible for this. The person who would be able to do this to Erik must have been good at what they did but most likely be dead by now.
When being questioned about this later, after Nadir had done patching him up, Erik just shrugged. "It could be someone from the court or it could be someone else," he said nonchalantly.
They were sitting on the armchairs, separated by a side table, a silver tea set and a dish of sugar-coated almonds were placed on it.
Erik put up a cup and examined the pattern that decorated it with the air of comfortable calmness that perplexed Nadir.
It was so close that Erik could have been killed. How come he could still be this calm?
"I would have accompanied you to the site if not for the head meeting that I'd been summoned to the precinct. Someone must have known my schedule and chose to act today," Nadir grimly said.
"It's not your fault, Daroga." Erik's voice was soothing, like he was trying to calm him. He did not so much succeed for Nadir was so worried.
"It is. You almost die, Erik. And if they find the body--"
"I didn't kill him."
"What? Why? I mean...what happened?" Nadir didn't expect that. He was truly surprised.
Erik paused to place the cup back on the table. He glanced out the window, the sun was soon to set. Nadir knew Erik should head back to his apartment before nightfall. Someone just wanted him dead so wandering in the dark wasn't a good idea at this time.
But Erik didn't seem to care about this. He took his time telling his story and spoke as if he was telling a normal story and not his own near-death experience.
"It was around early afternoon when everyone was on their lunch break," he began. "I was inspecting the stonework alone on the scaffold when he jumped down on me with a knife. I believe he meant to stab me but I managed to dodge it so he missed my fatal point. I pushed him off the scaffold, fortunately, it was only the second floor, and he escaped."
"And you let him?"
"At first I wasn't going to, I must admit. But it occurred to me that if I killed him right there, there was no way I could hide the body. And you, Daroga, would have to answer for this unfortunate event to the shah. And if anyone knew that I'd been assaulted, you would fail as my bodyguard and unavoidably hold responsible for this as well."
"No, Erik, you wouldn't..."
"Yes. I suppressed my rage and carried on my job as if I haven't injured, tore my cloth to tide around my waist to stop the bleeding as much as I could." Erik's smile could see through his eyes. "I was lucky I wear black all the time."
"You did that for my sake?" Nadir couldn't believe what he heard. Erik tolerated all that for his favor was not something one could easily expect.
"Um...I suppose you could say that." Erik's voice seemed nervous all of a sudden. He started to fidget in his seat and avoided Nadir's eyes.
Nadir noticed Erik's strange manner with familiar premonition.
"For that I think a simple thank you wouldn't suffice. I believe you want something in return, don't you Erik?"
Erik fidgeted even more when he tried to say, "well...I didn't plan this, you know...but I just thought...for all that I did today," he paused and ducked his head down, his voice became smaller when he continued, "do you think I deserve a reward?"
Nadir was confused for a while by his chosen words. Then, the memories of that night flood back in. And Erik was once again becoming like a child wanting a present. But this time he was brave enough to ask for it.
He was waiting for Nadir's answer with his head hanging low. He seemed in fear again that Nadir felt a pang in his chest at this rare side of Erik.
Nadir couldn't find it within himself to deny him this little act of comfort which he knew now Erik was so starving for.
Perhaps Erik did actually deserve his reward this time, perhaps Nadir was relieved that the attempted assassination was not successful and Erik wasn't severely injured, or perhaps he couldn't deny Erik this because he himself also wanted to.
Nadir leaned in across the table, put one hand on Erik's nape, and gave him a kiss at the same spot on his pale forehead he once did a few weeks ago. This time with the intention of his full lips pressed firmly on Erik's skin.
He lingered there longer than he meant to. When he leaned back he saw that Erik's eyes were squeezed shut. Erik let out a small exhale of relief and his fear seemed to vanish.
When Erik opened his eyes again, the unmistakable smile was in his gaze. Nadir could only imagine the smile that must spread across Erik's face. He felt the happiness washed over him just from the sight of happy and content Erik. And he would do anything to see those eyes wrinkled with smiles again.
*
After that, it was like some kind of agreement had been set between them. Every now and then, Erik would do something that could be described as nice then he would purposefully mention them, and Nadir would give him his reward as a kiss on his forehead.
Those nice things could vary from something like
"Do you see that man over there, Daroga? We walked past him twice and I never once stole his purse that clearly hung from his waist under his cloak!"
to something like
"Someone asked me to remove my mask today. Instead of killing him on the spot, I just politely told him no."
Sometimes Nadir wasn't quite certain that Erik's stories were faithfully true. If he didn't witness Erik's action firsthand there was no way he could know.
But Erik would linger there, not leaving until he got his reward. And Nadir wouldn't mind one bit. So long as Erik would behave, not running wild stealing things that would cost both of their lives or killing everyone who did so much as look wrongly at his face.
And, most importantly, so long as Erik was happy.
It was a win-win situation.