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I know my sister like I know my own mind…
If I tell her that I love him, she’d be silently resigned.
He’d be mine.
She would say “I’m fine”
She’d be lying.
“Satisfied”, Hamilton Soundtrack (2015)
Felicia meets him at a party of all things.
It’s a habit of hers - parties, particularly for the line of work she’s in. Business is good for Oscorp but it could always be better. At least that’s what good old Norman says.
Not that Felicia would know. Officially, of course.
She’s taking a sip of her champagne, scanning the room and actively determining which hot shot lawyer or unsuspecting investor she should dazzle and amaze next when she sees him, standing by his lonesome to the side.
At first brush he’s completely unremarkable, only noticeable for the fish out of water persona emanating off of him. The cut of his suit is terrible, his shoes are clearly used and there’s a persistent curl that Felicia would guess no amount of product would be able to smooth down.
There’s nothing about him that should hold her fancy - a nose that had clearly been broken several times before, the way he hunches his shoulders over as if he’s trying to blend into the background, eyes taking in his surroundings and being a bit too jittery to say that he was comfortable with the schmoozing going around.
Felicia has better things - and people - to do.
Yet there’s something immediately intriguing about the man who looks so wholly uncomfortable to be there that hadn’t left yet, the party well into its third hour.
The usuals of his type - ambitious, bitten off too much they could chew, small fish who had negotiated themselves into a den of sharks - were usually chewed up and spit out before the caviar had been served.
Yet here was this mystery man, clutching a glass of champagne and scanning the room - completely oblivious it seems to everything around him yet taking it all in at the same time.
It’s a contradiction, a puzzle.
Felicia’s always liked those.
She walks with him with purpose, the swish of her long and backless black dress catching more than a few stares as she cuts across the room. It’s not till she’s almost upon him that he notices her, his eyes immediately widening as she smiles and says, “You like what you see?”
“Excuse me?” He asks bewilderedly, a hint of a smile on his face and a blush of red across his cheeks that Felicia instantly wants to see more of she smirks.
Polite, even when taken off guard. Noted.
“There has to be something that’s caught your interest,” Felicia says, gesturing towards the room before turning back to him, understanding flooding his features as he blushes even more - Felicia correctly guessing that he understood her double entendre for what it was as he smirks.
“Definitely.”
Felicia raises an eyebrow, immediately intrigued. “Anything I can help with? Oscorp aims to please.”
“Depends,” he says, “What are you into?”
Felica’s smirk grows wider.
Snarky . She can work with that.
“I think you’d be surprised at what I’m into,” Felicia nearly purrs, catching the way the mystery man’s own eyes widen - watching as his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.
“I like being surprised,” he says carefully, Felicia ready for him to dive into some kind of cheesy pick up line - her interest waning just as quickly as it had arrived only to be thrown off when he says, “But not tonight.”
She looks at him, studying him as his eyes turn away from her and back to the room - following his line of sight and finding nothing of interest.
Investors. Businessmen. Marks by any other name. Felicia had a purpose in being there, several in fact. The personal and professional blended together, it was the only way that Felicia could be as effective as she was.
Well not the only way, Felicia thinks. But it was more fun.
The fact that this mystery man was so keenly ambivalent to the people around them yet was still here just furthers to spark the interest that had brought her across the room, looking back to him and ready to say something only for him to say, “It was nice to meet you.”
“Can’t say that we have, officially.”
He laughs at that, actually extending his hand out to her - Felicia filing away the audacity of his politeness as he says, “I’m Peter. Parker.”
“Nice to meet you, Peter Parker,” Felicia says, shaking his hand gamely as he smirks. His hands are warm, rough and calloused - giving credence that he doesn’t belong in these circles, a look in his eye that tells her that he’s here for some kind of purpose but what, she didn’t know.
“And you?” He asks, polite almost to a fault - Felicia feeling glad that she has the upper hand, as she laughs.
“A pleasure to have in class,” she says casually, Peter looking confused as she takes a sip of her champagne and moves to walk away.
She expects him to call after her - they always do - but he doesn’t, throwing her off but refusing to show it as she walks away from him with just as much purpose as she had walked up to him with.
It’s not until she’s a safe distance away, blending back into the crowd and striking up inane chatter with a member of a banking team that she’d robbed a few months ago that she dares to look back at him - shocked for a second time that he’s exactly where she left him, passively scanning the room and nursing the same drink.
Unpredictable. That was intriguing, though not enough to catch her attention yet again.
She takes another sip of her drink, downing the rest of her glass and moves on.
Felicia had better things to do.
Felicia does a flip, softly landing onto the rooftop. She crouches down, scanning the area around her before straightening up and walking forward - smirking to herself when she hears the familiar thwipping sound behind her.
“Hey Spider,” she says casually, kneeling down to gather the surveillance equipment that she’d set down earlier that day, “long time no see.”
“Too long, Cat,” Spider-Man replies, Felicia not even bothering to hold back a smile since her back was to him, “Been a little too quiet without you around.”
“Should’ve guessed that you’d be bored without me, lover,” she says, turning back over her shoulder and smiling.
Spider-Man’s in a new suit, his body tense and coiled as if he was preparing for a fight.
She could take him. She had before. Felicia’s not interested in a fight tonight.
“Never said I was bored,” Spider-Man quips back, Felicia turning her attention back to the camera equipment in front of her. “Curious maybe. Why are you scoping out Fisk Enterprises?”
“Why are you ?” Felicia bounces back, carefully disassembling the equipment and placing it into the duffle bag she’d brought along for this express purpose.
“I was following you,” Spider-Man replies, Felicia tsking as she gathers up the duffle bag and says, “You know what they say about curiosity.”
Spider-Man laughs as Felicia stands. “That it killed the cat?”
Felicia’s smirks, winking at Spider-Man as she says, “Is that what you want to do, lover? Break your streak and put an end to a lady like me?”
Spider-Man laughs again, shaking his head as he takes a step forward - Felicia readjusting the duffle bag in her grip.
“Come on Cat, you know me by now. I say a little joke, do a little,” he patnomines his webbing motion, “and disappear off into the night.”
“And just where do you disappear off to, Spider?” Felicia says, taking a step forward. Spider-Man freezes - the white eyes of his mask looking back at her.
“Nowhere,” he replies, voice thick as Felicia bridges the distance between them, humming playfully.
“I doubt that,” she says coyly, loving the tension that’s ratcheting up between them - her heartbeat racing as she leans forward, her lips just inches away from Spider-Man’s mask.
She’s close enough to hear his sharp inhale as she trails a finger along his chest, claws extended as it slowly trails along where the lines of the Spider-Man emblem across his chest.
“Why do you wanna know?” Spider-Man asks, almost sounding breathless - something that does nothing for the warm feeling rushing throughout her body.
But for as exciting as this, Felicia doesn’t trust him - not least of which because his body is still tensely coiled as if prepared for a fight.
Or, Felicia thinks with a smirk, to try and avoid from getting too excited - eyes pointedly flicking down before looking back up to the white eyes of Spider-Man mask.
“A girl can have her reasons,” she whispers, leaning in even closer as Spider-Man almost shudders - only for her to cut across the front of his legs, swiping at the more sensitive underside of them as she does so.
Spider-Man is quick, impossibly strong but distracted enough that he doesn’t see it coming - crying out as Felicia grips the duffle bag even tighter and turns her heel.
She only feels half-sorry at hurting him as she dives off the rooftop, a peal of laughter escaping her as she calls out, “Sorry Spider, maybe another time.”
Felicia doesn’t wait around to hear his response, wanting to put as much distance between them as possible before he scrambled after her.
She’s surprised then when he doesn’t, waiting till she’s several blocks away before the scans the buildings around her - only to find that Spider-Man is nowhere to be found.
This was a good thing. Felicia had business to attend to. It wasn’t as if she dressed up in spandex for her health.
Yet there was a twinge of something that bothered her, a feeling that only felt familiar for it being the second time it’s happened in less than a week.
She shoves that away, filing it to expand upon later which would inevitably be never.
Felicia had never been very good at processing her feelings anyway.
She sighs as she unlocks the door, rolling her neck around as she tries to ease the tension in them.
“Bad day?”
Felicia turns to the couch and smiles, Michelle looking at her with a smirk - hair put up in a ponytail and a cup of tea that no doubt had gone cold hours ago on the coffee table of their living room.
“You could say that,” Felicia says carefully, knowing she wouldn’t press unless she suspected something was wrong.
There wasn’t - objectively, least. Norman was a pain in her ass but what else was new, as was the ever-crushing annoyance of having to listen to the white men in the office make terrible jokes in the break room.
Today was different, taking off her coat and wondering if she’d be the one called into HR the next day.
Felicia was a big girl. She could handle the casual sexism, the leering looks of men much older than her and the creepy up and down they gave her as she walked into a room.
It was something she used to her advantage - in the office and after dark, getting what she wanted by manipulating men far too stupid to understand the difference.
The jokes today however, were something Felicia had little patience for - Michelle’s eyebrow raising at her silence before Felicia finally says, “just regular white boy bullshit.”
Michelle rolls her eyes, Felicia smiling at her as her sister says, “since when is it not?”
Felicia laughs, Michelle turning her attention back to her laptop and whatever paper she was working on - Felicia allowing herself three seconds to study her sister in a way she was rarely allowed to now.
She could still remember the day Michelle was born, though her mother said it was impossible considering she’d been a few months shy of three.
But Felicia - stubborn from the day she was born - was sure she remembered it, the feel of the impossibly soft blanket her baby sister was wrapped around and the reverent way their mother had passed Michelle into her lap.
“You’re a big sister now, Leesh,” Felicia’s memories echoed in the back of her mind - the weight of how important those words were only magnified with time.
Felicia had done everything in her power to protect her little sister all her life - not that Michelle needed protection much these days.
Her wallflower of a little sister had come into her own in college, no longer the quiet little girl with her nose stuck in a book. Felicia had never cared much for high school, much less college - going more for the experience of college parties than anything else.
Felicia was smart and she knew it, but she didn’t hold a candle to Michelle’s mind - her sister having the book smarts that Felicia couldn’t bother herself to get interested in.
She could, if she wanted to. Felicia was many things, self-aware chief among them.
Felicia didn’t need to prove herself to anyone in that regard, much less to Michelle.
But that same layer of protectiveness drapes over as Michelle begins to resume her typing, a churning in her gut at the nasty, racist things she overheard the jackasses in the office talk about.
They couldn’t have known that Felicia - tall, blonde, almost shockingly pale - was mixed. Not that it would have mattered in the least in a just world.
Yet it did matter - Felicia grinding her teeth at the insufferability of white men and their privilege, of the twist of genetics that Felicia could share the same mom and yet while she looked like any other white girl on the street, Michelle didn’t.
If HR called her in for her take down of those racist pricks, Felicia wouldn’t be sorry. She’d been at Oscorp for too long anyway and from what she’s read, the Future Foundation has better dental.
It would be worth it if she was fired, Felicia figured - the only weapon she could use being the very privilege she hated.
Well, the only legal weapon at least.
She watches for another half-beat before slipping off her shoes and moving towards the kitchen - the soft tapping of the keyboard competing with the hum of the heater echoing in the background, Felicia grimacing when she thinks of how much their electricity will spike because of it.
She reconsiders how good of a decision it was to have risked her job before taking another, only to chide herself for even considering staying silent.
Michelle didn’t have the luxury of hiding away her identity. Felicia refused to be the coward who wouldn’t step up when it was necessary, least of all to the idiotic boys who thought they were men at Oscorp.
Particularly, she thinks - working to make herself a cup of coffee in preparation for the night ahead - when people least expected it from her.
Felicia busies herself with making her coffee, only for Michelle to call out, “Coffee Leesh? Really? It’s like 6:30.”
“More like seven ,” Felicia says with a smirk, hearing the muttered “shit” from Michelle as her coffee brews, leaning out of their little kitchen and leaning against the wall - folding her arms as she says, “What time’s that paper due?”
“Midnight. Shit. Shit. Shit,” Michelle mutters to herself, typing faster - Felicia biting a back a laugh as she does so.
“Wasn’t your last class today at… two? What the hell were you doing at Pour Over for three hours if you didn’t even finish your paper?”
Michelle doesn’t answer, eyes on the laptop screen. For anyone else, it could be easy to say that Michelle was just trying to focus. But Felicia knew her sister better than anyone on the planet, knew Michelle better than she may even know herself.
Felicia smirks, a small huff escaping her that immediately snaps Michelle’s eyes to hers.
“What?”
“You tell me what ,” Felicia says, grinning as she unfolds her arms, “were you too busy making eyes with coffee boy to finish your paper?”
“ No ,” Michelle says, looking mildly horrified at the insinuation which all but confirms for Felicia that it was true. She grabs her coffee from the machine - black, steaming hot - and blows on it before taking a sip, her eyes steadily trained on Michelle who twists her lips.
“I wasn’t.”
“Whatever you say, MJ.”
“I wasn’t ,” Michelle says again, Felicia not believing her for a second.
“Then? What happened to ‘I could do this paper in my sleep’?”
Michelle just glowers, leveling Felicia with a stare that was sure to intimidate people who hadn’t grown up with her but only served to make Felicia laugh.
“Someday you’re gonna have to work up the nerve to talk to coffee boy,” Felicia says, sauntering into their living room - catching Michelle’s eye roll.
“ You’re giving me relationship advice?”
“No,” Felicia says, still grinning from ear to ear, “ I’m trying to get you laid. Come on,” she nudges Michelle with her foot, Michelle curling her legs underneath her so that Felicia can sit on the couch, “how long’s it been?”
Michelle just makes a face, glaring at her before looking back to her laptop. It’s not like Felicia didn’t know the answer, or at least didn’t have a good enough guess - the breakup with some trust fund baby that Felicia thought all along Michelle could do better then being now almost six months ago.
Unlike Felicia, Michelle didn’t extend herself out as much when it came to romantic partners - incredibly choosy in a way that the protective streak in Felicia appreciated even if everything else in her wanted her sister to get out there.
Michelle was stunning - in every sense of the word. Smart. Beautiful. But Michelle shied away from using her looks to her advantage - though Felicia could guess therein lay a key difference between them.
If Felicia was judged harshly, Michelle was even more so. Another cruel trick in a crueler world.
Felicia wouldn’t begrudge her sister of her choices.
But she could encourage her to get out there more.
“Come with me to the Oscorp benefit next week,” Felicia says, changing tactics as Michelle turns her attention back to the laptop.
“No,” Michelle replies, not even looking up as Felicia pouts.
“ MJ .”
“ Felicia ,” Michelle mimics, typing furiously as she says, “I already told you. It’s not my thing.”
“How could you possibly know if it’s your thing if you’ve never been ?” Felicia counters, watching in amusement as the corner of Michelle’s lip raises - knowing her sister well enough to read that she was debating how much she wanted to get into this.
Michelle was an excellent debater, leader of the nerdy little decathlon team in their high school and excelling as a teaching assistant in her college classes. It served her well as a grad student, but it was a skill that worked very little on Felicia.
Not when anything she’d essentially taught Michelle everything she knew.
“Come on, just one . One and I’ll never bother you again about it,” Felicia says, guessing that if she’s fired from Oscorp that it’ll be awhile before she’ll be able to attend any of the fancy parties anyway.
Not as an invited guest anyway. Felicia had other means of getting what she wanted.
Michelle looks intrigued by that, looking up and raising an eyebrow.
“No bullshit?”
“No bullshit,” Felicia says solemnly, taking a sip of her coffee as Michelle seems to think on it.
She watches as Michelle studies her face, something that would amuse Felicia more if her sister wasn’t so damn perceptive. It was a fucking miracle that Michelle hadn’t figured what Felicia got up to most nights, her brown eyes feeling as if they were looking straight through her.
But Michelle must see that Felicia isn’t lying - one of the few things Felicia was very careful to avoid - smirking before saying, “Fine. But if I don’t like it--”
“Then I’ll never bother you about it ever again,” Felicia interjects, raising her mug as a means of sealing the deal.
Michelle laughs, a delicate sound that Felicia thinks she hears far too little these days as Michelle grabs her own cup of tea - clinking it to Felicia’s gently.
“Deal.”
Michelle smiles, Felicia smiling back - feeling a thrill at the win.
There were few pleasures Felicia had in life.
Watching a man’s dreams crumble before their very eyes. Exposing douchebags for the shitty people they were.
Seeing Michelle smile?
Felicia had that at the top of the list.
“We meet again.”
Felicia laughs to herself, turning over her shoulder to see Spider-Man perched on the rooftop.
She turns to him, putting a hand on her hip before saying, “A girl’s gonna think you’re stalking her if you keep this up.”
Spider-Man acts as if he’s offended at that, putting a hand across his chest as he scoffs. “I’ll have you know, I’m a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. No stalking allowed.”
“What if I want you to follow me around? It’s my favorite hobby, wondering when you’ll next show up,” Felicia nearly purrs, Spider-Man bringing his hand down and standing up as she takes a step towards him. He jumps down from the ledge that he’s on, Felicia smirking at him as he says, “Well then I’d say you need a better hobby.”
“But it’s my only one,” Felicia says, Spider-Man’s laughter setting off Felicia’s heartbeat in a way that gives her pause.
It’s a good sound. Loud. Clear. It was almost familiar to her, though how she’s not sure.
Spider-Man laughs from his gut, no pretense or illusion.
Felicia liked that. It was honest, even if Felicia didn’t believe in such a thing as an honest man.
If there ever was one, Felicia thinks - Spider-Man would be it.
“I think you have a few more hobbies than that,” Spider-Man says pointedly, nodding his head towards the surveillance equipment that Felicia had set up. “You know I can’t let you leave that there.”
“It’s a free country,” Felicia says, taking a step forward. Spider-Man does the same as he says, “Pretty sure it’s illegal to steal from people.”
“Whoever said anything about stealing, Spider?” Felicia says with a laugh, taking another step forward.
“What do you call all of this then?” Spider-Man asks, gesturing to the equipment that’s pointed towards yet another one of Fisk’s warehouses.
“Bird watching. I’m nothing if not thorough,” Felicia says with a smile, Spider-Man laughing once again.
“You know, I gotta hand it to you. You’re definitely creative. You’d think someone with your skills would be more content to…” Spider-Man trails off, Felicia only a foot away from him as she smiles.
“What? Fight the bad guys and play good little kitten with the cops? Please ,” Felicia says, swishing some of her long blonde hair over her back - watching the white eyes of Spider-Man’s mask follow the movement as she says, “That’s so boring .”
Spider-Man just shakes his head. “Should’ve guessed a woman like you wouldn’t be satisfied with boring.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Felicia asks, feeling mildly offended yet wholly intrigued - a thrill rushing through her at the idea that Spider-Man had even considered her outside of their interactions.
Not that Felicia cared really, she meant what she said. She had better things to do than play nice with the law - much less those who upheld it.
Spider-Man was a little too square for her tastes.
“I only mean, I-- I just would’ve guessed someone with your skills would be a bit more…” Spider-Man shrugged, “I don’t know.”
“More like you ?” Felicia offers, Spider-Man’s whole posture shifting into something that was almost sheepish as Felicia’s hand hovers back on her lip - ghosting over the trigger.
“I mean not like me but just more--”
“I’m no hero,” Felicia says, “And I’m certainly not interested in becoming one.”
“You’d rather steal than help people?” Spider-Man asks, as if he was genuinely perturbed by the notion.
“It’s not stealing if they didn’t own it in the first place,” Felicia counters, getting bored of the conversation - fingers twitching in anticipation. Her heart rate is still going a mile a minute, feeling as if it’s on fire, but she’s conflicted on whether it’s attraction or danger - eyes set on Spider-Man as she says, “Would’ve thought a guy like you would be more of the Robin Hood type.”
“Is that how you see yourself?” Spider-Man asks almost incredulously, Felicia laughing at how bewildered he sounds.
“No,” she says slyly, “but he is a good inspiration.”
The trigger is pushed in a half-second, Felicia not even flinching when Spider-Man catches it from behind - knowing from all her observations that he had quick reflexes.
But just as Spider-Man tilts his head, no doubt ready to spout off some smart remark that any other night Felicia would be thrilled to hear - the arrow does its intended purpose, letting off a poof of smoke that Spider-Man is blindsided by.
He starts coughing violently, Felicia feeling only a little bad about it as she uses the clouds for cover - swiping the memory card from the camera and cutting her losses for the rest of it, knowing Spider-Man would look over it as soon as he recovered from the mini-bomb.
It was almost comical now, how many times Felicia got the upper-hand. She’d seen Spider-Man in action plenty of times - not just as Black Cat but as an observer living in New York, remembering what it was like to be cuddled up on the couch with Michelle as they watched the news of Spider-Man flying off into space in a massive alien ship when she was in middle school.
The five long years of living without Spider-Man - without half the universe - was something that Felicia could never forget, the fear and the chaos of realizing that even if Michelle was still with her - their mother and her step-father were not.
Spider-Man couldn’t possibly understand what it had been like in the five years he was dusted to oblivion, the rest of the world having to figure out how to live in a world not just left behind, but decimated.
When they all returned, the world was different - Felicia barely a legal adult but feeling so much older. The separation from their parents had bonded her and Michelle in a way that nothing could ever sever, Felicia’s thoughts on her little sister sleeping peacefully in their apartment as she leaped over a rooftop - making it her mission to zig zag across the city and make sure Spider-Man couldn’t follow.
All that Felicia did, it was for herself. A fuck you to a world that had been through unimaginable hell only to easily slip back into the status quo of hierarchy and control, all too easily controlled by the rich white men in power.
Spider-Man didn’t seem to be one of them - though who knew what he looked like under the mask.
Then again, Felicia thinks. Only a white man would trust the cops as much as he did. To trust that there was an order to the world that had to be followed.
Spider-Man didn’t understand.
Felicia wasn’t going to waste her time trying to convince him otherwise.
Felicia’s sipping on yet another glass of champagne, the light banter of the party guests a low hum in the background as she looks around.
She hadn’t been fired from Oscorp - lucky for them, though Felicia was still itching to get to the Baxter Building. She’d have to schmooze with the string bean looking CEO before the end of the night, get at what exactly it was they were up to in their labs before she made a career move.
Felicia’s running through her options of how to “accidentally” run into him when she sees him - the mysterious Peter Parker out of the corner of her eye. She stares at him, much longer than she usually would only to feel her cheeks warm when he turns to her - realizing that she’s been caught.
Felicia smirks, raising her champagne glass to him. Peter smiles at that, goofily waving to her in a way that sends a chill down her spine.
It was the opposite of smooth yet Peter either seemed blithely unaware - or, more intriguing, didn’t care - smiling before walking up to her.
Felicia taps her nails against her champagne glass, watching Peter’s eyes drift to that and then back to her face as he says, “Fancy meeting you here.”
“Took the words right out of my mouth,” Felica says with a smile, “I thought this wasn’t your kind of scene.”
“It’s not,” Peter answers, Felicia hearing the honesty in it, “but my boss thinks I should… mingle.”
“And who would that be?” she asks, fluttering her eyelashes in a trick that’s as old as time itself.
But Peter just laughs at that - the sound shocking her system at how familiar it is, hearing it only the night before as he says, “An old man who really needs to get a better sense of humor.”
“You’ll have to be more specific. Lots of guys here who think they’re the best,” Felicia says, breathless less from any attempt of seduction but rather because of her heartbeat now hammering in her ears - Peter’s eyebrow raising in a way that only confirms her suspicions as she he says, “I work for the Bugle.”
“The Bugle ?” Felicia repeats, less because she can’t believe it - of fucking course he works for the Bugle - but rather because it buys her precious time to try and process the monumental revelation radiating all throughout her system.
Peter Parker - mysterious, a little plain and out of place - was Spider-Man.
It was an ostentatious theory if there ever was one. Felicia had no proof, nothing but a killer gut instinct that had never pulled her astray long before she’d ever become the Black Cat.
Except she did have proof - though none in the conventional sense, pieces clicking into place as she subtly took stock of Peter Parker in front of her.
He was the right build, shorter than her - especially in her heels - the broad shoulders of his suit filling out in a way that suggested to Felicia that he was hiding some kind of muscle underneath at all. Peter carried himself differently than Spider-Man, hunched over just a little.
But now that she thinks of it, his voice is eerily familiar to her - his laugh a dead ringer for the same tone and inflection that Spider-Man had carried just hours before.
There’s no sign of redness or irritation in his eyes from the smoke bomb, correctly guessing that Spider-Man wouldn’t have been permanently injured from it to begin with.
Who was she kidding? Peter wasn’t Spider-Man. He couldn’t be. It was far too much of a coincidence, the same man who had teased and vaguely flirted with her for months being the very same one in front of her? Twice ?
“Not all of us can work for a multi-billion dollar company,” Peter says with a grin, as if that was some kind of inside joke with himself - Felicia’s mind pulling a memory of how close Spider-Man had been Iron Man back in the day.
Fuck , that just confirmed it for her - schooling her features into the steady, practiced way she always did as she says, “Sounds like someone’s a little jealous.”
Peter laughs at that again - the confirmation settling in her gut as he says, “Jealous isn’t the word I’d use.”
“Whatever you say,” Felicia says dismissively, eyes roaming away from Peter and over the crowd when she sees Reed Richards start to move away - the mind-blowing revelation she’s having pales in comparison to the possibility that her window of opportunity was closing.
If her theory was right - and Felicia was convinced that it was - it was better for all parties involved if she got the hell away from him, the painstaking efforts she had made to conceal her identity being something she wouldn’t dare risk.
Not tonight. Not ever .
But especially not tonight.
Peter goes to say something more, Felicia guessing it would be some witty retort that would all but confirm that the man in front of her was Spider-Man with his terrible sense of humor only for her to stop him as she says, “Speaking of, I have some business to attend to. I should go.”
“Oh--” Peter says, looking confused as Felicia hands him her champagne glass.
“Hold this for me. I’ll be right back,” she says, having no intention of returning as she smirks at him, winking and making a swift exit from the conversation as she walks over to where Richards and his wife were currently standing.
She can feel Peter’s eyes on her as she walks away, trying and failing to calm her racing heart as she puts forth her best smile.
The more distance she could between herself and Peter Parker, the better - making a mental note to confirm her theories before she ever had the chance to see him again.
Felicia had business to attend to. The identity of Spider-Man wasn’t something she had ever hoped to uncover but now that she had a good guess, it ratched up to the top of the list.
Well, close enough.
Felicia puts on her best smile as she reaches Reed and his wife, reminding herself to focus as they smile politely at her.
Peter - Spider-Man - was something that would have to wait for later.
Later comes far sooner than Felicia ever planned and in a way she could’ve never expected.
She’s munching on some appetizer, celebrating the successful tour of the Baxter Building she’d secured for herself - technically for Oscorp’s Research and Development team as a collaboration on a supercollider but that was just a minor detail - when Michelle rushes up to her, the click of the black heels she had on announcing her presence before she even arrived.
“Ok, I’m done. I’m gonna head home.”
“It’s not even ten, MJ,” Felicia says after swallowing down her food, Michelle frowning at her as she sighs. “You promised that you’d stay the night.”
“No, I said I’d come. Not how long I’d stay,” Michelle counters, Felicia cursing not for the first time that her sister’s memory, much less her tenacity as she says, “Are you done with… whatever it is that you need to do or can I just go?”
Felicia had no official business with Oscorp for tonight other than to serve as a reminder that Oscorp hired women - her un official business secured and set the following week.
But before she can answer, ready to concede to her little sister’s pleas - she sees something in Michelle’s eyes that give her pause, a deer in headlights look that’s wholly unfamiliar to her as Felicia tilts her head.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing. Nothing’s going on,” Michelle says - Felicia’s suspicions only growing, “I’m just ready to go.”
As quick and as observant and headstrong as Michelle is, Felicia’s all that and more - narrowing her eyes at her only for Michelle to betray herself, eyes glancing over to the side before looking back to Felicia.
Felicia easily follows her line of sight - heart skipping a beat when she realizes who it is that Michelle’s staring at.
Peter Parker once again, still holding on to her champagne glass like an idiot. If there was every any doubt that he was Spider-Man, that would be confirmation enough. No other man in his right mind would ever hold on to a drink that wasn’t his from a woman that had dismissed him over twenty minutes ago.
Yet there he was, twirling it around on the high table he was standing out - looking out over the crowd yet from his position, clearly unable to see the two of them.
There’s no reason for Michelle to be so caught up in Peter’s presence, Felicia turning back to her sister to ask what the hell was going on when it clicks - noticing the twitch of Michelle’s lip and the unadulterated pleading in her eyes.
It hits straight square in her chest, so much that it takes her breath away.
“ Coffee shop boy ?” Felicia asks, wondering what kind of cosmic irony this had to be. Yet as soon as Michelle presses her lips together, Felicia laughs - feeling almost hysterical that of all the people that her baby sister could have ever had a massive crush on, it had to be him.
“Felicia…”
“ That’s him?” Felicia asks, swallowing down the mixture of emotions in her throats and focusing her attention on Michelle - who only grimaces as she says, “You’re not allowed to judge me. Your last boyfriend was--”
“A mistake, yes we know. So you are interested in him then?” Felicia says, her mind racing as she tries to figure out how best to handle this situation.
Felicia had to stay away from Peter Parker. If she was right - and fuck if Felicia wasn’t absolutely convinced, knowing her luck, that she was right - then Peter was someone she had to stay the furthest away from. The exact person who could unravel the very delicate balance and life that she’d created for herself and for Michelle, his alter ego serving as the thorn in her side that could expose hers.
But if she was wrong - and fuck if Felicia hoped that she was wrong - then she would’ve steered her sister away from the one person other than herself who had brought a stupid smile to Michelle’s face in months.
Felicia realizes three fundamental truths at the exact same time.
The first, Peter Parker could be Spider-Man - someone who was actively seeking to sabotage the carefully constructed plans she had.
The second, Felicia couldn’t bear to risk Michelle finding out the truth of what she did under the cover of night. A part of Felicia considered that she would be supportive, Michelle had no love lost for the corporations and billionaires who had so valiantly returned to the status quo after the snap. But if there was even the smallest chance of seeing anything less than love in Michelle’s eyes when she looked back at her, Felicia’s sure she would rather face the end of oblivion than risk that.
The third - the final, most crushing realization - is the look in Michelle’s eyes as they flit back over to where Peter is standing.
Michelle was not one to have passing crushes or fancies. Whereas the bullshit that they’d been through had hardened Felicia in a way to cultivate a personality of becoming the center of attention, an easy way of distracting people from her goals - Michelle had done the opposite, cultivating walls as a means of keeping everyone except the most determined out.
It would be all too easy - all too cruel - for Felicia to discourage her, to try and nudge her away from Peter. A dismissive snort, an eyeroll - for all of Michelle’s growth and development, she was still Felicia’s little sister.
Michelle trusted her.
The decision is made in an instant, Felicia’s goals all overshadowed by the primary directive of her entire life - driving her towards one of the more reckless decisions of her life.
“I’ll be right back,” Felicia says, Michelle’s eyes widening as Felicia sets down her little plate - Michelle going to grab at her arm only for Felicia to deftly avoid them.
Michelle won’t make a scene, she wouldn’t dare bring attention to herself as Felicia walks towards Peter.
It’s as if every step is painful, wondering if she is making a mistake. If she was right, bringing Spider-Man into her life would not only invite a whirlwind of trouble for herself but would be terrible for Michelle.
Michelle deserved better than a man who threw himself in front of bullets over some misguided sense of doing good - better than someone who trusted a system that had never played fair and never would.
But Felicia knew Michelle would bristle at the idea that Felicia was making any kind of decision for her - maybe not when they were children, struggling through the aftermath of the snap but absolutely would now.
And if she was wrong - something Felicia hopes that she is even if every instinct in her is telling her that she isn’t - she would’ve sabotaged the first earnest show of interest that her little sister had shown since Harry had gone and broke her heart.
Felicia was many things.
Cruel, least of all to Michelle, wouldn’t be one of them.
Peter seems surprised when she walks up to him, standing up straighter as he says, “Hey, I was wondering where you had run off to.”
Felicia smirks, easily slipping back into the part of coy but confident ingenue as she says, “I said I’d be right back. Now I’m here and I,” she loops her arm through Peter’s, catching the way his eyebrows rise in surprise, “have someone I’d like you to meet.”
“Where are you taking me?” He asks, hearing the amusement in his voice as Felicia almost drags him away from the table that he’s at - back towards the direction of where Michelle is.
“I’m about to change your life,” Felicia says casually, the sound of his laugh sending off warning bells in Felicia’s gut.
She’s about to switch gears, redirect him to some corporate lackey and abandon ship when her eyes meet Michelle’s - catching the look in them.
It’s a look she’s seen a few times before - a mixture of shock, surprise, and irritation - exclusively reserved for Felicia.
Yet there it is, a flicker in them that leaves just as quickly as it arrives when Michelle’s eyes flit over to Peter’s.
Interest.
Felicia pulls him forward even more, the thought of brushing away her little sister’s first sign of opening herself up again for something as impossible and as ridiculous as Peter being Spider-Man cutting straight through her.
She wouldn’t do it. She couldn’t. Of all the people Felicia had no problem manipulating, Michelle would never be one of them.
Peter smiles out of the corner of her eye, Felicia putting forth her most confident one as his eyes gleam.
“Then by all means,” he says, “lead the way.”
Felicia stirs her coffee absentmindedly, the last of the creamer she put in it coloring it in a way that’s unappealing to her.
But if she hadn’t, it would’ve gone to waste. Felicia wouldn’t dare throw away something so dismissively, not when she’d lived without for so long.
She leans against the kitchen sink, stirring the drink once more before rinsing the spoon - leaving it there to be cleaned later as she takes a sip.
Most people thought of black coffee as bitter and unappetizing but it packed a punch for Felicia, one that this cup even with just a dollop of creamer was sorely lacking.
She barely added a few tablespoons and it was already a little too sweet for her liking, wrinkling her nose in disgust only to hear the front door unlock.
Felicia’s attention is immediately shifted elsewhere, setting the coffee and down and moving towards the living room - smilingly in earnest as Michelle walks in.
“ You’re home early. Would’ve thought I’d catch you sneaking in tomorrow morning.”
Michelle smirks, rolling her eyes as she closes and locks the door behind her.
“Well?” Felicia asks when Michelle doesn’t offer any more information, “is the reason you’re here a good thing or a bad thing?”
“Neither,” Michelle says, her tone would sound bored to anyone who didn’t know her well but to Felicia it sounded almost wistful, “he had an emergency.”
Felicia narrows her eyes, as Michelle says, “I think he meant it.”
“You think or you know?” Felicia counters, hoping that her sister’s not too enamored to be so easily fooled.
Michelle glares at her, abating Felicia’s protective tendencies as she says, “I know.”
She laughs then, a small almost indelicate sound as she says, “Trust me, I don’t think he wanted to leave.”
Something flares within Felicia just then, a feeling she doesn’t understand and immediately pushes aside in favor of asking, “And why was that ?”
Michelle just smiles ruefully, Felicia recognizing the look on her face from how many times she’s seen it in the mirror, “Wouldn't you like to know?”
Felicia laughs as Michelle grins, taking her shoes off and heading to their shared bathroom. Once the door is closed, Felicia feels herself deflate - a gnawing in her stomach that she can’t quite place.
It’s almost like hunger, wistful though Felicia can’t begin to understand why. She’s mildly upset that Peter would ditch Michelle at the end of the night, though another part of her is slightly relieved - the curiosity of what could’ve motivated Peter’s sudden departure alleviated when her phone buzzed.
She glances at the notification, a dummy text bot she’d set up to notify her when one of her surveillance cameras had been tampered with - a fail safe within a fail safe.
Felicia switches to social media, only to catch a video grab of Spider-Man entangled in some kind of fight at yet another Fisk hideout.
It makes sense to her then, why Peter was so quick to leave his and Michelle’s date - wondering if he too had some kind of police scanner or ability to keep tabs on what was going around the city. How he was able to access that as a civilian Felicia didn’t know, the curious part of her wanting desperately to ask him about it yet knowing she wouldn’t be able to. Another question comes up with how believable his lies were to the people who knew him - knowing, and essentially raising, Michelle well enough that she wouldn’t believe his lies for too long.
If he were with me, he wouldn’t have to lie .
Felicia freezes, chasing away the thought as quickly as it comes.
She didn’t consider herself a jealous person, much less of anything Michelle had. Felicia had made it a primary mission in her life to protect her sister, nearly everything she’d done in her life as a way to keep her safe.
Besides , Felicia reasons, scoffing at herself as she slips her phone into her back pocket, I’m the one who introduced them.
Felicia could’ve had Peter if she wanted to - had sized him up that first night and immediately dismissed him, the ever present threat of him being Spider-Man still reverberating around her insides.
If anything, now that tonight’s events had all but confirmed that her hunch was right - she should warn Michelle, tell her now what the man who had so sweetly flirted with her a few nights before - and for the past several months - really got up to.
But that comes with the risk of exposing herself - much less alienating Michelle if she veered too far into her protective instincts.
Felicia shakes herself, moving back to the kitchen to grab her coffee as she hears the shower run.
She was just being protective, that’s all - concern over what Peter’s secret would mean for her sister, much less herself, in the long run.
It feels like a lie even as she thinks it, the sickly sweet coffee suddenly tasting bitter as she gulps down another sip.
Felicia shoves that away.
She was always good at pushing off her feelings anyway.
“We gotta stop meeting like this, Cat.”
Felicia freezes when she hears Spider-Man’s voice.
It’s so distinctly Peter that Felicia’s hard-pressed to understand how anyone wouldn’t immediately be able to make the connection. Then again, the chances of Peter encountering anyone he knew in his regular life as Spider-Man were slim - statistically almost impossible.
Figures , Felicia thinks, I’d be the exception .
Felicia always believed she had bad luck anyway.
She doesn’t turn away from what she’s doing, focused on the antiques in front of her.
“Haven’t seen you in awhile, Spider,” Felicia says carefully, hoping that her voice is low enough that Peter won’t pick up on the similarities that she does.
Peter just laughs, either willfully oblivious or unable to connect the dots as easily as Felicia is as he says, “Yeah well, I’m a busy man, Cat. Contrary to what you may think, I don’t actually like following people.”
Don’t I know it , Felicia thinks to herself again - fingers dancing over an array of options before settling on some ostentatious jewel that had no business being owned by a criminal mastermind, much less one as so undiscerning as Fisk.
“You know I’m not gonna let you leave with all of that right?” Peter asks, sounding incredulous as Felicia looks backs over to him and laughs - guessing the look on his face even if she can’t see it.
She’d always had a friendly, nearly flirty banter with Spider-Man in all the time she’d known him but now, knowing the man under the mask - it would be even more tempting to slip into the kind of playful banter they had so many times before.
He and Michelle had been dating officially for a few months, enough for Felicia to watch as her little sister was the happiest she’d ever been. It was almost a cliche, one that Felicia was quick to try and warn her against - even if Michelle was no fool.
Felicia raised her better than that.
Yet there was an inexplicable lightness to her little sister that she hadn’t seen since the time before the snap, watching in amusement as Michelle would casually mention Peter in conversation as if she couldn’t tell she was barely holding back a smile.
They went out so often that it made Felicia’s own work infinitely more easy, knowing that Michelle was not only safe but distracted with Peter - the chances of her getting caught out working in her favor.
For the first time in Felicia’s life, she felt almost guilty for using this information to her advantage - less because of any new moral quandary but more for the idea that this felt like a betrayal of trust, not just on her sister’s behalf but for Peter’s.
Not that Felicia cared much about what Peter thought of her, aside from the ever-present need he felt to endear himself to her.
For as much of a dumbass as Spider-Man was in falling for her traps over and over again, Peter Parker was endlessly eager and willing to please - intuitively understanding that his relationship with Michelle could only truly succeed if Felicia approved of him as well.
And she did, in a sense - despite the ever present possibility that the delicate balance between the three of them could all come crashing down if either he or Michelle ever found out the truth of what Felicia got up to late at night.
“It’s cute that you think that you’ll be able to stop me,” Felicia says lightly, Peter laughing again - a sound that cuts right through her not only for how familiar it is but for a pulling she feels in her stomach, a feeling that’s only grown since the first night she’d introduced the two of them.
“Come on, Cat. Work with me here,” Peter says cheerfully, “I’ve been having a really good night so far.”
“You know what they say about black cats,” Felicia says, looking back to Peter with a smirk as she zips up her bag.
“That the superstitions around them are wildly inaccurate and they deserve love too?” Peter replies with a hint of teasing, something sharp running through her at his tone.
But before Felicia can go into attack mode she stops herself - a check that for all Peter knew, this was just some nameless stranger. Not Felicia.
Nevertheless, it doesn’t sit well with her.
“What, are you going to be the one to show me how to love? Is that how you get the bad guys?” Felicia says, pulling out her most seductive voice - the edge in it only detectable to someone who would know her.
Yet Peter - whether he recognizes it or not - undoubtedly does, Felicia watching as his back straightens slightly.
This - Felicia thinks - was yet another test, one that even she’s not sure if she wants him to fail or not.
If he did, if he flirted with her - it gave Felicia an out, knowing she’d be able to figure out some way to let Michelle know and get Peter out of their lives. Yet even the thought of doing that pains her, knowing that the walls she’d built so heavily around herself would only increase - the setback that this would be for Michelle ever opening herself up again being one that Felicia isn’t sure she’s willing to sacrifice.
Yet if he flirted with her - a nameless stranger of which he’d had a flirty relationship with for months before he and Michelle had ever become official - then this was a sign that Peter Parker, much less Spider-Man wasn’t as good as she thought. A sign of weakness, one that Felicia knew all too well about white men and yet would be sorely disappointed to find out that Peter was among them.
It would be better - painful but better if he took this option - though who it would exactly benefit, Felicia doesn’t dwell on.
She’s not sure what she feels when Peter stiffens, stuttering slightly as he says, “Um not-- I mean sure, yes. The power of love in friendship is great. But I’m--” he scratches the back of his neck, a move that’s so painfully Peter Parker that it seriously makes Felicia question the critical thinking skills of anyone who has ever come into contact with him as he says, “I’m seeing someone.”
“Oh,” Felicia says, a mixture of relief and something else she doesn’t want to put a name to rushing through. Peter mistakes her answer for disappointment as he says, “Not that you’re not-- you’re great. I mean, I’m sure there’s some wonderful person out there for you that you’ll--”
“I work best alone,” Felicia says, cutting him off before he says something he’ll regret or worse - make her feel second-hand embarrassment. “But I appreciate the vote of confidence.”
She can’t see it but she can imagine the grin on Peter’s face as he says, “Anytime. That is what a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is for. Also this.”
Felicia could only convince herself that it was her relief that Peter wasn’t a total jackass that had caught her off-guard, Peter shooting off a web and grabbing the bag from her before she could even blink.
She immediately extends her claws, Peter shooting webs down to her feet as Felicia scoffs.
“What the--”
“I’m gonna go return the rest of these,” Peter swings the bag around in her hand, “and when I get back, we’ll talk a little more about what we’re going to do about this whole loving yourself situation.”
“Whoever said I don’t love myself?” Felicia says with a huff, trying in vain to move but finding that she’s unable to.
Peter laughs at that, shaking his head as he sends a web out above him to the skylight. “Yeah, you’re right. Maybe loving others and you know, property laws. See you in a minute!”
He’s up and out of the skylight before Felicia can answer, frowning as his shadow moves away to likely retrace her steps - cursing the fact that she hadn’t been more aware of him tailing her.
What she’s not interested in is staying around for Peter to come back, using her claws to cut herself free - glad that she’d “accidentally” stumbled across some of Peter’s web fluid during a visit to his apartment a few weeks back.
Peter had the bright idea of inviting them to dinner at his place, along with the endlessly lovely Aunt May of his. It was nice, Felicia as the big sister appreciated the effort.
Yet Felicia the Black Cat was even more pleased by the invitation, especially glad for it now as she easily cut herself free and scanned her surroundings.
It would be harder to grab anything now, sighing as she rules the night a waste.
Felicia’s never been very good at processing her emotions, for several reasons. But as she makes her way out of the building, looking around to ensure that Peter is off doing some kind of reverse-Robin Hood, she’s conflicted in several ways.
Despite the immediate rush of relief that she felt in Peter shooting down her own blatant efforts to flirt, there was still some small sense of almost something like disappointment churning her gut - telling herself that this was patently ridiculous yet it being there all the same.
How could she possibly be disappointed that Peter was actually a good guy, faithful even under the cover of night, to a sister that Felicia deeply adored?
It was nonsensical, something that Felicia hated herself for feeling.
Yet she did, her stomach turning over at the possibilities for what this feeling could mean.
Felicia is more careful in the future.
Not that she hadn’t been before, but it’s even more of a priority. A reminder that there were too many things at risk if Peter ever caught her as Spider-Man - only worsened by the realization settling deep into her skin.
Specifically that the more she learned about Peter, the more she admired.
He was good - in a way that Felicia could doubt a man could ever be, waiting for the bottom fall out and yet finding herself conflicted for simultaneously wanting to see someone fail and desperately hoping they never did.
He was a hero - that much was true. Felicia had no illusions of what she did and how much it benefited her in contrast to Peter who, by all accounts, flung himself into danger for the sole purpose of it being the right thing to do.
It burned within her now differently, the news reports she would see about Spider-Man fighting off some threat in Manhattan - a flare of protection towards him that made her arms ache and her fingers flex, as if she could somehow be of use to the situation.
At first, Felicia told herself it was because of her sister - a fear of what Peter getting seriously hurt would do to Michelle. Yet as time passed, Felicia realized that the fear she had wasn’t something she carried alone.
Michelle knew - though when and how and why, Felicia didn’t know. It wasn’t any quick change, no sharp and sudden alteration to her personality or how her and Peter interacted. It hit Felicia one day, watching the two of them back playfully bicker back and forth on their couch that Michelle knew the truth - a gut feeling that she couldn’t rationally explain except for how much she knew her sister.
Something else flared within Felicia at the thought, not quite jealousy but some… loss. A realization that for the first time in her life, Michelle would have a part of her world that she would not share with Felicia - a secret that not only wasn’t hers to share but would be something that would open up an entirely new world for her.
Felicia was self-aware - she recognized the hypocrisy of feeling put out that Michelle didn’t tell her this massive secret when she not only had withheld the truth of Peter’s identity from her but had done so for selfish reasons, Felicia calling into question the possibility that Michelle didn’t know the truth about her .
After all, Felicia thinks - Felicia had taught her nearly everything she knows.
Despite all of this, there was something else deep in the recesses of her mind - something that the longer time progressed, the more it became harder to ignore.
Felicia was not a jealous person. Not for anything Michelle had at the very least. She couldn’t be, she loved her sister - there was nothing in the world that Felicia would not do for her, convinced that she’d do anything to keep her safe. No matter the cost.
But the longer Michelle and Peter dated, the more Felicia started to feel as if there was an invisible timer running out - the delicate life and balance that she had created with Michelle not only crumbling just beyond her grasp but feelings that she tried so very hard to ignore anytime she was around Peter peskily coming back to the surface.
It clicks one day, running through the variety of possibilities of what it could be.
Was she merely annoyed at Peter’s presence? The fact that he was taking her sister in the most juvenile line of thinking possible? Was Felicia really so petty to be jealous of Michelle’s happiness with Peter when she herself was still single?
It wasn’t as if being single meant she was alone - Felicia spending her evenings not just as the Black Cat.
Was Felicia confusing admiration and being enamored with him? The residual flirty banter that they’d kept up as Spider and Cat only barely translated in their everyday reactions as Peter and Felicia, Felicia taking every precaution not to appear too similar to her alter ego for fear that Peter would finally connect the dots.
Felicia runs herself in circles trying to make sense of it all. She’d always loved puzzles yet this was one that she couldn’t quite crack, only for it to hit her light a lightning bolt one night when Peter stumbled into their apartment.
Felicia is asleep - or pretending to be at least - when she hears it, the window opening and the small thud that could only be Peter’s body hitting the ground. She’s poised and ready to attack, only to pause when she hears Michelle’s furious whispers - not quite making out what they could be but - hearing them start to fade - could guess that she’d taken Peter to her room.
She immediately feels a sense of longing - a desire that Peter had come into their living room window for her not for Michelle - a thought that makes her feel pleased and guilty on equal levels when it hits her.
The affection that she has for Peter - and it’s affection, no matter how she tried to reconcile it - wasn’t borne completely out of jealousy or a fear of him exposing her identity.
It was desire - the thought occurring to her of how different things could’ve been if Felicia hadn’t been so casually dismissive of him the night they’d first met, much less had actually introduced the two of them at that party all those months ago.
It wouldn’t have mattered, Felicia argues with herself. By then, Michelle had already been casually flirting with Peter. She’d heard for weeks about ‘coffee shop guy’ and the looks they’d shared - the two of them both too hesitant to approach the other in a way that would be horribly sweet if it wasn’t so terrifically boring.
Michelle wasn’t a lead in a romcom and Peter was no romcom lead - that was a fantasy, a fairytale that Felicia hated even constructing in her mind as a metaphor - the bitterness she feels in her mouth only exemplified for how right it seems.
There - in the comfort and safety of her room, Peter in Michelle’s room only a few feet away - Felicia allows herself this one indulgence, to wonder what it would’ve been like if she hadn’t dismissed him that first night or any of the nights afterwards.
To wonder what it would’ve been like for Spider-Man and the Black Cat to have taken over New York, albeit in different ways - what it would mean to be let into arguably the biggest secret of his life by choice and not by chance.
To wonder what it would be like to the source of his laughter and his affection, a rush of something that she’s not foolish enough to call love but the hint of what could have been - a love that would never be but maybe in another universe, could be.
The daydream doesn’t last long, the thrill of what it would be like for Peter’s strong arms to be wrapped around hers and to have the same adoring eyes to be directed towards her overshadowed when she thinks of what this would mean for her sister.
If Felicia would’ve introduced him as someone she was interested in, Michelle would’ve been resigned - a twitch in her lip and shift in her facial expressions that Felicia would’ve instantly recognized.
Felicia would’ve inevitably pressed, curious to know why she didn’t immediately start to tease her.
She knew her sister. Michelle would’ve swallowed it down, just as terrible with allowing herself to express her emotions just as Felicia was.
Michelle would’ve said she was fine.
Felicia would know she was lying.
Yet despite this snag in the fantasy, there’s a part of Felicia that hates herself - wondering if this alternate version of herself would be so quick to dismiss Michelle’s concerns if she was the one who was the object of Peter’s affection. It was clear that he was loyal, though how much of that extended to the person or because of who he was - Felicia didn’t know.
It burns within her - loving how happy her sister is and loathing herself in equal measure, swallowing down the fantasy she had allowed herself to have for a brief moment as best she can.
It doesn’t work.
Felicia tries to convince herself that with time, it would.
The realization of how deeply and horrendously wrong she is comes only days later.
She’s walking up the stairs to their apartment, exhausted from the day and mulling over whether she has the energy for yet another long night ahead of her when she hears it - the sound of their laughter and contentment through the apartment door.
Felicia feels like an outsider in her apartment as she slides the key into the lock, opening the door to find the two of them on the couch - laying together with some movie playing in the background.
“Honey, I’m home,” Felicia calls out, Michelle turning to her with a smile as Peter grins - the sight of it, and the two of them, causing her heart to skip a beat as Michelle says, “Hey Leesh.”
“How was your day?” Peter asks politely, knowing him well enough by now that it wasn’t just some small pleasantry but something that he actually meant - ignoring the way her stomach twists into knots as she said, “Oh you know, another stunning day in corporate America.”
“If you hate it there so much, you should quit,” Michelle says, Felicia sighing as she closes and locks the door behind her, slipping off her shoes.
“Someone’s gotta pay the bills around here,” Felicia says with a dramatic sigh, Peter’s laugh sending something that feels like sharp knives through her chest as she walks towards her bedroom.
But it’s not before she hears Peter whisper something that turns her blood cold - the inevitable that Felicia knew was coming and yet had hoped, in a foolish and naive way, wouldn’t have come so soon.
“We’d never be able to afford a place like this.”
It’s simple, whispered - Felicia has enough presence of mind to keep walking towards the bedroom as if she hadn’t heard it all, forcing her body to move on auto-pilot as Michelle shushes him.
Her heartbeat is pounding so loud that she’s sure Michelle could hear it, much less Peter - taking all of her self-control to get to her bedroom and close the bedroom door behind her as naturally as possible.
As soon as she does, Felicia takes a shuddering breath - wondering how she could possibly be blindsided by this when she’d known that it was coming for weeks.
They’d been dating for almost a year now, it was only natural for the two of them to want to take the next step - Michelle barely qualified as a resident in their apartment to begin with now.
It aches at her, feeling something caught in her throat at this groundbreaking yet terribly benign revelation - the thought occurring to her that for all the things she’s ever stolen that Spider-Man himself would end up stealing the most important thing in her life.
It was as if Felicia could see it in slow motion and in fast forward all at once - the way that their lives would unfold.
They’d move in together, Michelle no doubt planning on bringing up the conversation to Felicia sooner rather than later - less an act of permission of what she wouldn’t have needed but more in being her little sister, still aching for approval even if she never would’ve admitted as much.
Felicia would happily give her blessing, smirking at Michelle’s scoff and annoyance that Felicia would even call it that but smiling anyway - knowing that this was an important step not just for her and Peter but her and Felicia, a chance for Michelle to finally come out from under her shadow in a way that Felicia had never intended to cast her in yet likely had.
It would only be a matter of time before their already serious relationship would become permanent. A ring and a ceremony and a party - trinkets and superficial things that Felicia would want to indulge herself in, celebrating her little sister in a way that would bring her both unimaginable joy and a deep, crushing pain.
Felicia would stand with Michelle on their wedding day, cry at all the appropriate moments and give the cheerful, happy and terribly embarrassing toast that any big sister should - the one person who had been always been by Michelle’s side.
She would praise their marriage, the hope that they provided for the future - a wink and a nudge to the secret that the two of them shared about Peter’s alter ego and Michelle’s inevitable inclusion of it.
She could even see further than that - a far off future where she wasn’t just Leesh, but Aunt Leesh - children that were a perfect blend of Peter and Michelle.
There’s an ache in her chest then that Felicia doesn’t even try to explain to herself at the image of the child they would have - a child that Felicia would love as instantly and as fiercely as she had loved Michelle from the moment she was put into her arms.
It’s not the child that hurts, not the happy future that the two of them would have together - but the imaginary child’s eyes, a deep and soulful brown that Felicia would look into and see not just her sister, but Peter.
Felicia doesn’t let herself consider how long their happy future would stand - the crushing weight of receiving a phone call that would shatter something within her, Michelle’s halting words and breakdown when she tells her not only that Peter was Spider-Man but that he was no longer anything.
There were no happy endings for heroes - the flare of protectiveness coming back in full force only to be sated with the recognition that Michelle not only knew the truth but had willingly stayed with him - a decision she’d made for herself that Felicia couldn’t begrudge her of.
Not when she would’ve done the very same, had she been given the chance.
She’s snapped out of her thoughts - hearing them laughing loudly. Felicia’s not sure if it’s something on the television screen or some secret between the two of them - quickly grabbing a change of clothes and opening the door to head to the bathroom.
It’s then that she sees them - an ache deep in her chest when she hears Peter laugh, piercing straight through her when she sees Michelle’s smile.
“We are not having pizza for the third night in a row.”
Peter looks over to her, those same brown eyes that she thinks about at night - full of warmth and affection but not in the way Felicia wants it as he grins.
“Felicia, help me out here. Pizza’s always a good idea right?”
Felicia shrugs, casual and dismissive as she’d been the first night she’d met him as she says, “If you ever think I’ll ever side with you over MJ, you’ve deeply misunderstood our relationship.”
“Ouch,” Peter says, looking slightly hurt as Michelle laughs.
“Sisters before misters,” Felicia says jokingly, the opposite of what she’s feeling as she waves her finger around, “I’ll leave you to it. Whatever you’re eating, please have it ordered and sent here by the time I’m done.”
“Don’t take up all the hot water again,” Michelle almost pleads, Felicia throwing her hair over her shoulder as she says, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
She doesn’t see the eye roll Michelle gives her but she can sense it, especially since it’s Peter’s turn to laugh - the sound shaking Felicia’s insides.
It’s when the door is closed for a second time, turning on the shower and letting the steam envelop the bathroom that Felicia allows herself - for just one second - to feel it.
The insurmountable ache of what was going to happen in their lives - a future that wasn’t here yet but felt all but inevitable.
The thought occurs to her that maybe this was the time for the Black Cat to expand her operation - the daydream and plans she always had for making wrongs right extending beyond her immediate vicinity becoming something she allows herself to consider.
Michelle hadn’t needed her physical protection for years but now with Peter there was a sense of relief tied to it, knowing that for as much as Michelle could take care of herself that having Peter by her side would increase her chances of being safe in a world that was increasingly not.
It was selfish - one of the pettiest indulgences she allows herself to have - knowing she’d never be able to leave the city or her sister, much less for something as foolish as running away from something that she herself had orchestrated.
The steam starts to fog up the mirror, Felicia looking at her reflection as it starts to become cloudy - remembering not only the night she had introduced the two of them but the first night she’d met Peter, equal parts wondering if she’ll regret that night for the rest of her days and feeling a deep and incredible shame for thinking so.
Peter had immediately been intriguing yet Felicia hadn't stuck around - dismissing him not just as Peter Parker but as Spider-Man, his words from all those months ago coming back to her with a piercing clarity.
“Should’ve guessed a woman like you wouldn’t be satisfied with boring.”
It’d been teasing, a playful joke that Felicia now thought was ironic - staring at her reflection as the mirror fogged up.
The hot water continued to run, faintly hearing Peter and Michelle’s laughter in the background as her features started to fade away - distorted from the steam until her reflection disappeared completely.
Felicia laughs to herself, a bittersweet feeling washing over as she braces her hands against the sink.
Nice going Felicia, she thinks. He was right.
You will never be satisfied.