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“Hey, you okay?”
“What do you care?”
Carlos was taken aback by TK’s hostile response. He froze, halting midstep. He had noticed that TK had disappeared from the bar and had come outside to see where he had gotten to. He wasn’t exactly sure exactly what he had been expecting when he exited the bar, but it certainly hadn’t been this.
He gathered himself, wiping the surprise off of his face and arching an eyebrow instead.
“Well, you’re the one who left suddenly so I figured I would do the decent thing and come and check on you. But I guess if you’re set on being an ass, I can just leave.”
He turned to do just that when TK’s voice called him back.
“Wait, god--I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” he broke off with a frustrated sigh as he ran a weary hand down his face. Carlos frowned as he moved closer.
“Are you okay?” he repeated.
“I’m fine, just pondering why the universe hates me so much.”
Carlos’s frown deepened with confusion now, “Am I supposed to know what that means?”
“No,” TK said sullenly, “just me and the universe hating me, as usual.”
“Uh-huh,” Carlos agreed sarcastically, “because the universe goes out of its way to mess with TK Strand.”
“Now you’re getting it.”
“TK,” Carlos asked bluntly, abandoning the banter, “what’s wrong?”
TK was silent for a full minute, seemingly weighing his words, trying to decide how best to say what he needed to say. Carlos waited patiently.
“I finally know what I want,” he said eventually, “but as per usual I am too late.”
Carlos waited, but TK didn’t elaborate. He sighed and moved closer, stepping up to his side. They were so close now that he could feel the tension rolling off of the other man. “Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t,” he said evenly, “but isn’t it worth a shot anyway?”
TK snorted, “No,” he said more firmly, “I’ve missed the boat. The opportunity is gone. It’s my own fault too - I had the chance, all I had to do was not waste it. But I fucked that up, just like I always do. I’m not made to be happy, Carlos. I thought that maybe here it would be different than before, but I was wrong.”
“Different from what?”
“Different from New York. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t ever get anything right. I fucked up everything, all the time. The only thing I was good at was my job. Everything else was a disaster. My relationship, my sobriety...all destroyed because that’s what I do.”
He paused, and when he spoke again, Carlos was taken aback by the venom in his tone, “Everything I touch is destroyed. I am a poison. I thought maybe...but nothing is different here. I should just keep to myself; maybe avoid ruining anyone else’s life. My own is already fucked, but that doesn’t mean I have to take anyone else down with me.”
Carlos was taken aback by the venom in his voice. It dripped with self-loathing. Carlos wanted desperately to help, but he didn’t know where to begin. “Maybe if you tell me what you think you’ve ruined, I can help you see that it’s probably not as bad as you think. You just need to be honest with yourself.”
“Fine, you want me to be honest Carlos,” TK demanded, turning to face him with a dark expression, “ seeing you with someone else really makes me sick to my stomach .”
There was silence in the wake of TK’s declaration, the only sound the pounding of Carlos’s heart. It was trying to beat itself out of his ribs, to make itself known to the other man. How could he not know ?
TK continued on: unaware or unbothered by Carlos’s shock, “I know I had my chance, and I blew it. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, wasn’t sure I was ready for a new relationship, but then I saw you in there with that Captain America lookalike and I realized I had missed my chance. I ruined something else, again.”
As more and more of the pieces fell into place Carlos’s eyes widened. It wasn’t like that, it hadn’t been...but how was TK to know that?
“TK,” he began, ready to explain, ready to reassure him, but he kept talking; oblivious to Carlos’s attempted interruption.
“...it’s my own fault, really. How could I be so selfish, so...self-centered as to think…”
“TK,” Carlos tried again, to no avail.
“...you never said you would wait. Actually, I think I made it pretty clear you shouldn’t so…”
Carlos rolled his eyes and grabbed TK by the shoulders, turning him to face Carlos. TK’s eyes were wide with surprise and confusion, but nothing compared to the shock that followed when Carlos pulled him closer and captured his mouth for a deep, lingering kiss.
They pulled apart and there was silence again. TK was staring at him, mouth agape. Carlos arched a questioning eyebrow at him, “can I speak now?”
TK nodded dumbly, still trapped in shocked silence as Carlos began to speak, “I’m not with anyone else Tyler. I’m not on a date. I haven’t been on a date because I am waiting for you.”
TK opened his mouth. Carlos could tell that there were many things he wanted to say, so many questions he had, but the one that he settled on was: “so who was that?”
Carlos rolled his eyes, “That was Trey - we went to high school together. Played on the lacrosse team together. He married his high school sweetheart Rhonda and they have two kids now.”
TK still stared at him blankly and Carlos sighed, “I was not on a date with Trey. He’s just an old friend I haven’t seen in a while. Nothing more, nothing less. In fact, I haven’t been on any dates because I was waiting for a certain someone to pull their head out of their ass and I think that moment has come.”
TK stared at him for another moment before chuckling weakly, “I’m the someone, aren’t I?”
Carlos rolled his eyes, but when he shook his head it was with fondness, “Yes Ty, you are.”
“Oh,” was all he said. Then, he winced, “I’m sorry, about before.”
Carlos shrugged, “I’m just glad you finally told me what you were feeling. But you don’t really believe everything you said, do you?”
TK’s only answer was to turn his face from Carlos’s, avoiding his gaze. Carlos sighed heavily, “Ty, you don’t ruin things. Yes, you’ve had a bad run of it, but it’s not your fault.”
TK swallowed, “that’s easy for you to say,” he said softly, thickly. He was still avoiding Carlos’s gaze.
“Yes,” Carlos agreed, “yes, it is. It is because I know you Ty, better than you think I do, and I know it’s not true. I know because you haven’t ruined this, and you won’t.”
TK finally met his gaze, “How can you be so sure?” he asked softly.
Carlos raised up a hand to stroke TK’s jawline tenderly, “I’m sure because it takes two to make a relationship work, and I have a feeling we’re going to make a pretty good team.”
TK’s answering smile was enough to light up the dark night and Carlos could feel his heart skip a beat. They would make this work - he would help to make this work - because Carlos Reyes would do anything for that smile.