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The rain fell like a thick curtain in Forks. Nothing very far from the usual weather that castigated the Olympic Peninsula. I could not complain; it was the density of clouds that allowed my family and I to live an almost normal life.
Or as normal as vampires could.
Even if I could find a fault on the downpour – if I could properly enjoy the sun on my skin somewhere other than my own house – I absolutely wouldn’t.
Because being inside not only was bearable: it was better than my wildest fantasies for the past 80 years.
For one, it meant being with my family. Nowadays it wasn’t so rare for all of us to be home during the day. We all had found a reason to stay in – the same reason.
Now my family included Bella, and being with her was always a gift far beyond anything I deserved. Having her in my arms (her warm skin now precisely like my own pressed against me) was sublime. She grinned constantly, making me smile just as much, and sometimes met my lips just as I decided to kiss the top of her head. My particular heaven.
And finally the reason that had us all huddled up together in front of the television: Renesmee.
Even after more than a year since her birth, it still felt like a cheat on reality; as if whichever creature was responsible for the fairness of the world had closed his eyes or simply chose not to see what was happening on this rainy locus.
Because it seemed impossible that not only I had Bella with me – the girl who had changed me so deeply and so easily – we also had a daughter . An actual daughter, half Bella (pure brilliancy and good), half me (able to fully appreciate and adore Bella). Neither of us got sad when Bella stopped being the only girl in the world for me; she gladly shared the spot with our Renesmee.
The little one was capable of making the house, the whole Cullen clan plus Jacob Black, stay in the same room for a considerable amount of time.
Carlisle, not working after a very full week, sat with Esme in the corner of the room, talking quietly about his next vacations from the hospital and where they should go. Since we moved back to Forks they hadn’t travelled for fun, and Carlisle just knew Esme needed some alone time. They also discussed when , because they didn’t want to miss much of Renesmee either.
Alice was on her favored spot: the floor. She was trying to see through Jacob and Renesmee. I was impressed with her: although she hadn’t been either werewolf or vampire hybrid, her visions had improved around them. It still bothered her immensely, but she loved Renesmee much more. Jasper was on the couch, immediately above her, caressing her hair, talking to Emmett in hushes.
Emmett was restless. Everytime I heard his thoughts a grin etched my lips. He abhorred when these quiet moments lasted too long. He also ate on Renesmee’s little hand; he just preferred to be with her outdoors , teaching her the importance of losing while Rosalie snarled at him to let the child win once.
Rosalie sat on his side, being very careful not to touch Jacob (who sat on the floor and allowed Renesmee to use his shoulders to prop up her legs). Things with Rosalie were… difficult . They had never been easy per se, and had only gotten worse after Bella entered my life, going downhill up until Renesmee’s birth. I knew I would never completely forgive her for denying her help to save Bella the very first time we had needed, and her thoughts about the baby being more important than Bella to her.
We still had issues to work out – but the happiness I felt everyday made it hard to be angry. Bella and Rosalie seemed to be close friends, too (nothing like Bella and Alice, of course), so I was trying to forget Rosalie’s egotistical moments. It was easier than I had ever thought; I had another being who occupied my mind constantly.
Renesmee.
I always thought I could never be as enthralled by someone as I had been by Bella, but my daughter proved me wrong. It was a delight to simply see her; she evolved right in front of our eyes, going further and further on her development.
We had had to arrange for her own library and fill it with her own books; she loved her mommy’s, but she wanted a bookshelf to call her own. Esme had been delighted to provide the perfect furniture for her bedroom, one that fit in the place perfectly, as if it had been a part of it since the beginning.
My room at the house turned into Renesmee’s room. She wasn’t that fond of toys, but there were many boardgames that she actually enjoyed. We also added a computer and many school books, and all of us shared the pleasure of teaching her. It was far from a tiring activity: she was extraordinarily smart, very interested in learning and understood everything quickly – a lot like her mother.
To my pleasure, she also showed great musical prowess. We sat together on the piano for hours, Bella watching with a big grin until Renesmee decided it had been enough for the day and left. It was about then that I would pat the spot next to me, and Bella would sit, her grin wide and her shield off so she could tell me exactly what she wanted to say, to show me her precise feelings when she had heard her lullaby for the very first time, and how the sentiment was the same still: pure love, unaltered, just as mine for her.
On my behalf, I always remembered the little bottlecap that had helped me to create the tune and how I had destroyed it. Now, and I still wasn’t sure how I’d gotten this lucky, I had the inspiration by my side.
Although she had been transformed – something I abhorred at the time of creating it – she was every bit as perfect as she was when the tune had been composed, which reinforced how foolish my anxious worries had been at the time. Because now I understood that what made her Bella was much more than just being human. So the lullaby remained the same..
Today, the television caught Renesmee’s attention. She liked watching television as much as any of us. It was a simple pastime to her, but it entertained her sometimes. Jacob had been zapping through the channels, looking for something to watch, when she asked him to stop on a movie.
“You sure you wanna watch this one, Nessie?” He asked with a frown. Can she watch this one, bloodsucker? , his mind asked me. I glanced at the television quickly, and Bella followed my eyes, a tiny smile on her lips.
Renesmee used her hand to tell Jacob she actually did; she had never seen a teenage romantic-comedy, and was curious about it because it was said to be something girls enjoyed.
“This is a good one,” Bella said smiling. Although she wasn’t a fan of this kind of movie, she had watched and liked a few. “I’ve seen this one with my mother back in Phoenix. She was crazy about rom-coms, and she always made popcorn for us to watch together when we couldn’t go to the cinema. It was nice to spend time together, so I’d watch almost anything,” she laughed.
It sounded very like Renée and Bella, and I couldn’t help but smile too.
“Then come and watch it with me, mommy,” Renesmee asked out loud. Bella grabbed my hand and pulled me to the sofa next to our daughter. “You don’t mind watching it again?”
“Not at all, love,” Bella assured her, “I’m curious to what you’ll think of it. And I don’t remember it all that way, anyway.”
“She’ll probably hate it,” Emmett guessed cheerfully, throwing himself on the couch while Rosalie sat calmly. “Care to bet on it, Alice?” He asked with a smirk. He never missed the opportunity to poke at Alice’s blind vision regarding Renesmee and Jacob. She only narrowed her eyes, sitting on the floor.
“I actually like this one, too,” Alice added.
Renesmee reached out to touch Alice’s face, and my sister grinned.
“Uncle Emmett knows nothing. He only likes dumb action movies,” Alice explained.
“So it’s settled then,” Jacob said, as the movie started. Esme left the kitchen with two bowls of popcorn, giving the small one to Renesmee and the other to Jacob. She accepted it not only not to hurt her grandmother’s feelings, but also because she wanted the whole experience Bella had mentioned.
I pulled Bella to my arms while she smiled, and kissed her temple gently.
Later , she promised on her mind.
As 10 Things I Hate About You went on, I noticed something was nagging on the back of my head, some familiarity to the scene. It didn’t come to me immediately, but halfway into the movie, I remembered the day Bella and I had watched Romeo and Juliet on her birthday. The closeness and the romantic movie must have poked my mind.
It was about then that Emmett started getting restless, while he and Jasper whispered about their last fight and some rematch. I grinned and turned my attention back to the movie.
It was only when Renesmee voiced her question to Bella that it hit me what that scene actually made me think of.
“Mommy, did you go to prom?” She asked, a smile on her face as she saw the movie.
I couldn’t help but tense slightly when the memory hit me. I wasn’t remembering the actual prom; my mind was full with the image I had pictured to motivate me: an older Bella watching teenage romantic comedies with her children and a faceless husband, and having something to answer a similar question.
Bella’s giggle brought me back to the present; to the unbelievable reality : I had her in my arms, and our child asked her about prom.
I was even gladder to have made that memory.
“To one of them, yes,” Bella replied grinning. “I didn’t really want to go, but your father made sure I went. It was an amazing night,” she finished.
“Why didn’t you want to go? Were you like Kat?” Renesmee followed quickly.
“Not at all,” I replied, “your mom was a bit hurt at the time, and when she was human she was very clumsy. She was afraid she would fall or something.”
Bella chuckled.
“Silly mommy, daddy wouldn’t let you get hurt,” Renesmee chastised Bella and I laughed.
“She saw that later on,” I assured her.
Tell me more , Renesmee asked with her hand on Bella’s face. The movie was all but forgotten.
“My memories are hazy, but I know aunt Alice made me look like a princess,” Bella said, “and it took me a very long time to understand what the surprise actually was. I was upset at first, but I trusted your father and it was amazing. We danced all night, and I really didn’t fall even once.”
“Only because you were standing on Edward’s feet,” Emmett laughed.
“Were you there too?” Renesmee asked Emmett.
“Of course!” He replied. “Aunt Rosalie was the most beautiful woman in the room. No couple danced as good as we did.”
Bella smiled and looked up to me.
“Why do I remember something about Tyler…?” She asked and I laughed.
“He was under some sad illusion you would go to prom with him,” I remembered, the mirth still clear on my voice.
“So he was the one you told I’d only be available to you every night!” She said. “I remember this.”
“Yes,” I agreed, running my thumb on her cheekbone gently, “in my defense, you really didn’t want to go with him. It was my night,” I murmured. She smiled and bit her lip.
“Not complaining…” she whispered back. Later , she thought again.
I heard Jasper’s chuckle both on his mind and out loud, and smiled too. My slight nod confirmed her promise.
“Even Jacob crashed that prom,” I continued lightly, “he tried to dance, but he’s not very good at it.”
Renesmee pictured Jacob dancing and giggled, agreeing with me.
“We’ve got some photos of that day,” Esme said, “your parents were so handsome! I’ll show you after the movie,” Esme promised. Renesmee was absolutely delighted, and forgot all about the television, getting up at once. She eyed me quickly and I nodded; tonight she would sleep here to see the pictures Esme wanted to show.
Seeing the movie session had ended, Emmett sighed happily and ran outside, Jasper right behind him. Alice and Rosalie moved to the table with Renesmee, the three of them waiting for Esme. She reappeared quickly with the album, getting a squeal of happiness from my daughter.
It was nice to see those pictures; Bella and Renesmee were very excited. Renesmee jumped to Esme’s arms, pointing and asking. Bella looked at my direction and it was enough for me to take her hand and run to our little home.
“You tensed a bit back there,” Bella said, closing the door. “Everything okay?”
I sighed.
“It’s just… I’ve never told you the real reason I wanted you to go to the prom so much,” I explained, but still had a smile. Bella frowned.
“Okay…”
“Well, by then I had already decided I would do the worst thing I ever could – I knew I would leave, and was just waiting for the right time, for when I would be strong enough” I confessed. Bella hugged me and I enveloped her in my arms.
“Don’t feel bad about that,” she whispered, kissing my shoulder lightly, “we’ve talked about it. I get it.”
“I know. Still… well. I wanted you to have the memory of prom, so when your kid asked you about it, you could have something to answer. I didn’t want to rob you of any memory that you might have if you had a normal, human boyfriend. I wanted something happy that you could remember me by in the future, when you were living your life with your family.”
She raised her eyebrows and I grinned.
“Well, I could give you hell for even thinking that prom would be the only happy thing I’d have to thank you for, but I like this mood you’re in. Even if I’m not understanding it completely.”
“It’s just… it happened. I’m truly glad it became true.”
Bella smiled back at me, raising on her tiptoes to reach my mouth.
I was extraordinarily happy my vision had materialized; but the elation that filled my chest was that I had finally managed to complete it. The scene still held all the happiness and all the love; Bella was perfect, her child even more.
I let her lips pull me into the place where only the both of us mattered as the old vision blurred into the real memory, her happy grin the most similar thing between the two images.
After the prom, I had felt a bit of guilt for claiming her nights as my own knowing what I was about to do, knowing that soon it wouldn’t be the case anymore; that my available nights were counted.
But now, with the husband no longer faceless as the part was filled by me, I was absolutely right: her nights were only available to me .
Well, with one exception.
I heard their minds before Bella, and I stopped her hand from removing my shirt with a chuckle; I didn’t need to read her thoughts to know she was remembering her human, fragile nights. However, she didn’t complain; the noises were loud enough for our ears.
“We’ve got company,” I murmured, kissing her lips one last time. Later , she repeated in her mind for the third time. “Later,” I agreed.
The door opened quickly, and the little steps filled the house.
“She had a nightmare,” Alice said with an apologetic smile as Renesmee threw herself in Bella’s arms.
“Thank you, Alice,” I said and my sister left. Bella hugged Renesmee as our daughter touched her face, illustrating her nightmare quite clearly.
Bella took Renesmee to her bedroom: the bed was small, but big enough for the three of us to squeeze together as Bella calmed her.
Yes, I reflected. Bella’s nights were now available for someone else besides myself. But I didn’t mind at all sharing them with our daughter.