Chapter Text
“This… is a bad idea,” Pentious sighed, the flick of his tongue betraying his nerves, as well as his furiously shaking hands. The snake was never still, when he monologued, when he talked, even in bed, he was big motions, loud, and full of bravado. His nerves had shot that bravado down like one of his unfortunate air balloons, standing in front of the full mirror in his best suit and bowtie, readjusting his top hat for the hundredth time.
“You’ll do fine, just be yourself,” Arackniss smoothed down his own tie, “You’re smart, witty, confident, Pops will eat that shit up.”
“Oh, yes, definitely,” Pentious puffed out his chest, using his ‘evil supervillain’ voice, “Hello, sir! I’m Sir Pentious, weapons extraordinaire! I’d like to pursue a partnership between us, and I’m definitely not having sex with your son!”
Arackniss had to crack a small smile at that, “Well, we’ve been seen together too many times for Pops to just ignore it. He wants to meet you.”
“Fantastic,” Pentious spritzed some of the cologne Arackniss liked in the air, slithering through it, “Well. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Just act natural. And straight.”
“As long as it does not become a topic of conversation, I believe I will be alright,” Pentious said before they made their way to meet the Family.
Sir Pentious brought a briefcase full of the latest weaponry he had created, and against the protests of the Egg Bois, he and Arackniss went alone.
The air balloon Pentious called his home was parked just to the side of the large building the Family resided in, the two of them coming down a ramp into the street below, where two spiders were already waiting. Arackniss caught the small hiss Pentious released, still nervous. “
The Mafioso is waiting for you both,” the spider on the left said, Arackniss giving a curt nod, nearly acting like he didn’t know Pentious, couldn’t pick up on any of his small tells that only close friends (or closer) would know.
Henroin was an imposing demon, towering over most of the smaller spiders at over eight feet tall, Pentious sliding back on his tail a bit before remembering. He was Sir Pentious, not to be trifled with in his own right! He stood tall, shoulders back.
Arackniss had warned Pentious to let Henroin speak first, which was very against the snake’s nature. But if Arackniss said to, it was best to heed his advice.
“So, I heard you’ve been talking weapons with my son,” if Pentious didn’t know better, he would have thought it was fatherly concern in his cold voice.
“Why yes! I am Sir Pentious, weapons extraordinaire!”
“We already have a reliable weapons dealer, what makes you better?” Henroin cut in.
Arackniss had no expression on his face, didn’t even look at Pentious. This was a lot more painful than the snake had expected.
“Well, sir,” Pentious never called anyone sir, but he knew he’s have to make those subtle gestures of respect to get on the mob boss’ good side. Or at least neutral side, “I’m more than just a weapons dealer, I am also a weapons inventor!”
“Have you brought any examples of your work?” Henroin was clearly skeptical.
Sir Pentious nodded enthusiastically, “Why yes, I have!” he put down the briefcase, clicking it open. This was his latest weapon, hadn’t even been used in any of the latest turf wars he had been a part of. A heavy sniper rifle looked up at them all as he spun it to show Henroin and the rest of the assembled Family.
“It looks like a normal fuckin’ sniper rifle,” Henroin said gruffly.
“So it does! That’s because you want to hide the abilities of this particular gun. May I?” Pentious made a motion to show he was going to pick up the gun, he had been warned by Arackniss to make sure he didn’t put the Family on edge. Henroin nodded once with another grunt. He was a very grunty man, Pentious decided. Pentious put together the gun with skilled hands, the only thing out of place was a thicker sniper scope.
“Now, this rifle uses normal bullets, Holy or otherwise for dispensing of targets!” Pentious began once it was assembled, pulling what looked like a silencer out of the case and screwing it on, “Until you attach the beam attachment!”
Arackniss, still silent by his side, seemed the slightest bit uneasy when Pentious offered him the weapon.
“Allow for a demonstration!” Pentious looked behind him, “You may want to move,” Pentious said with a hiss to the spider directly behind him.
“I’ve worked hard with your son Arackniss to create a weapon unseen in Hell to make ‘icing your targets’ easier than ever!” he pulled from his breast pocket a box of cigarettes (Not a vice he enjoyed, but he kept some on hand for Arackniss). He set it on the table behind him, completely hidden behind his back from Arackniss, who was lining up his sights on it. “I’m sure you can deduce what’s coming next! Shoot the cigarettes, but miss the precious cargo in front! ”
Pentious spared a glance at Henroin, who looked mildly interested, and not at all put off by firing a gun in his home. It probably happened a lot.
“You’re sure putin’ a lot of faith in your inventions,” Henroin didn’t seem to care one way or the other if Pentious died.
“I always do! Take it away, Arackniss!” Pentious’s hood was raised, chest puffed out in a show of excitement and pride. Aracnkiss grunted (he must’ve gotten it from his father) before pulling the trigger.
A flash of red light dodged right around the snake, hitting the cigarettes dead on. The entire box was vaporized instantly, leaving the scent of tobacco in the air.
Henroin made what Pentious guessed was an impressed sound, “Shoots around corners too?”
“As long as you locked it in as a target, it’ll find it’s mark!” Pentious said proudly as Arackniss put down the gun.
“We’ve been working on it for a few months, Pops,” he spoke for the first time. Pentious noted the deathly calm tone he used with his father. That was around the first time Pentious and Arackniss had been explicitly caught together, but it was in no way the first time they had met. But no time to think about that now.
“How’s it work?” Henroin said, ever the skeptic.
“It utilizes the natural demonic energy of the user to shoot a bolt of energy-much like a bullet- to where the user wants it to go-” Pentious could have gone on and on, luckily Arackniss knew where to throw on his two cents so he didn’t end up rambling for an hour.
“This one’s already been calibrated to fit me, Pops,” Arackniss patted the stock of the gun. “Unique to every demon, even if stolen another demon cannot utilize the tracking ability,” Pentious added.
“We don’t need more than one, the Family’s only got one sniper.”
“Of course! This is simply another way to get ahead of the technological curve to leave rivals in the dust,” Pentious hissed, thinking to himself so Niss can spend more time with me instead of running around for hours tracking down targets.
“I assume you do this sort of thing with other weapons,” Henroin looked what probably passed for intrigued to him.
“Why yes, I do! Usually my weapons are a bit less in the stealth categories, like turrets or-”
“Yeah, I've seen your flying balloon getting shot at on the news.”
This made Pentious’ hood flair momentarily in annoyance, but he quickly quieted his inner voice yelling at the dishonor.
“I have a wide array of talents in weapon invention.” Henroin seemed to finally relent somewhat, and they started getting down to the nitty gritty of business details, Pentious running on autopilot, stealing glances at his beloved when he could.