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Jin had already made the comment about the sake being terrible- and it was. But what he wouldn’t tell her was that it made absolutely no difference to him. He enjoyed everything about this moment with her; bad sake or great sake.
“My mother loved it.” Yuna started, and the corner of Jin’s mouth curled into a smirk when Yuna dramatically declared “bring me my tea!”
“She sounds like a demanding woman”, Jin mused; looking at the woman next to him and feeling his heart flutter in his chest. Even through his sake-glazed eyes, he could tell she seemed forlorn. He watched her as she described the time her mother broke Taka’s arm, and his brows furrowed. Jin hated listening to these stories; he didn’t want Yuna to hurt. He recalled his own past, watching his father die before him, and it broke his heart to imagine Yuna feeling that same sorrow. He never wanted her to hurt, and maybe he couldn’t change the past; but now that he was in her life...
He had been reluctant to take that first sip of sake when she offered it. They both needed it- just a little bit to relax, clear their minds, ease the tension in their bodies they’ve been carrying from constantly being on edge. To think of something else besides the war for a while. But still, he had thought then, I know myself when I drink, and now is not the time to demonstrate why a true samurai doesn’t need clothes. Nevertheless, he had taken the jug gratefully, wanting to have this time with Yuna, even if just for a little while. She remembered hearing that they found her mother face down in the street, and Jin still kept his eyes on her. He searched her cheeks for tears, hoping none would come.
“Sometimes... our only choice is to walk away from everything we know.” Jin said quietly, and Yuna turned to look at his already watching eyes. She raised her jug at him, and he in return, and they took a sip as if Jin’s words were a toast.
“You’re not just a samurai,” Yuna pondered, and they looked back at each other. “You’re so much more than that.” She said that last part seriously, strongly- it resonated with Jin.
“To you?”
“To everyone on Tsushima.”
Jin deflated the smallest amount. Of course, Yuna was talking about his new skills- skills that she herself taught him- on how to dispatch the Mongols at the cost of honor. But in his sake soaked brain, he thought perhaps she meant more than something else. He nodded, swirling his bottle around, listening to the alcohol swish. It was late. Or early? His brain wasn’t sure. But it was quiet. Their breathing and the minute sloshing of the sake was all his ears could hear, and it was blissful. There was so much chaos. Jin let his eyes ease closed as he relaxed and let the back of his head rest on the wooden railing behind him. It wasn’t just the sake, he wondered idly; being with Yuna relaxed him.
“Tired, Jin? We have a big day tomorrow, you should rest.”
He cracked one eye open and titled his head to look at her. He snorted and let out a small chuckle.
“I am resting. Here next to you.”
Perhaps against his better, more sober judgement, he let his left hand search out her right and loosely joined their fingers. This is barely even holding hands, Jin’s drunk brain reasoned. I’m sure this is fine. I’m only a slightly tipsy. I’m sure this is fine. This is fine.
“Are you tired?” Jin questioned, a thought dawning on him. Perhaps she was asking because she wanted to go to bed herself.
“Don’t let me keep you.” His tone was in half-apology, and he began to draw his hand away.
“No- no.” Yuna said abruptly, grasping Jin’s hand before he could pull it away. “I’m enjoying this. It’s nice to relax a little, do something other than fight for our lives.”
Jin turned his head to her and watched Yuna play with his fingers, looking at his hand intently. She looked forlorn again. He squeezed her hand, tightly.
“I don’t like seeing you like this.”
Her eyes shot up at him. “Like what?”
“Sad.” Jin said succinctly, and seriously.
“We’re in a war, Jin.” Yuna said, her words shaky- whether from stifling tears or the effects of the sake, Jin couldn’t tell. “Of course I feel sad. There’s no time for happiness until the Khan is dead and Tsushima is ours again.”
“Not even right now? Just until morning?”
Yuna looked at him and tsked- Jin. Always a little spark in his heart. She chuckled and shook her head, looking back down at their hands entwined. Yuna scooted to the right and let her head fall on his shoulder, letting out a long sigh from deep within her lungs. But he was right. A few minutes in an onsen doesn’t do much for the spirit when the Mongols are right over the horizon, waiting to kill you as soon as you put your clothes back on. She imagined what it would have been like to meet Jin sooner, before the war. Before she had to save his life, before Taka had been kidnapped and their lives turned upside down. Would they even have met at all?
“Jin”
“Hmm?” Jin hummed lazily, leaning his cheek on her hair.
“What would you think of me, if we had met in a time of peace?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean... you learned from me because of the war. Because you’ll do anything to drive the Mongols from our home. But would you have turned your nose up at me had you met me still as an honorable samurai?”
Jin could sense the troubling tone in her voice. “I would feel the same as I do in this very moment.”
Yuna’s brows furrowed in confusion, though Jin couldn’t see it from atop her head.
“A war does not change what you have deep in your heart. Your very soul. I am certain that no matter the circumstances, I would see the woman you really are, as I do now. A strong, smart, capable, beautiful woman who cares deeply about her brother and her home.”
Jin loosened his grip on her hand and put it behind her, bringing his other arm around and hugging her close. His empty sake bottle toppled over empty beside him. Yuna rubbed gentle circles on his forearm in front of her and let out another deep sigh. She chuckled again, from deep within her chest.
“That’s the sake talking,” She said, the tiniest tinge of bitterness in her voice.
Jin smiled out of her view. “That’s not true. I’m not that far gone. I can handle my sake better than you think.”
And then, Yuna’s eyes did gloss over, only ever so slightly. She gripped his arm in a tight squeeze before letting go and lifting her head from Jin’s shoulder, gripping the railing behind her head. The moon was high. Dawn would soon come, she knew she should sleep. She tried to stand, her other hand grabbing hold of the rail as well when one wasn’t strong enough.
Jin laughed, his eyes twinkling with the urge to tease her, but he thought better of it. He stood, holding out a helping hand. He knew better than to grab her. Yuna was an independent woman who would take help if she needed it.
“Need help getting to your mat?” He laughed, smirking at her only slightly, just enough that wouldn’t earn him a thwap on the head.
Yuna took his invitation, and they took a wobbly few steps. Yuna stepped on Jin’s foot, and was able to mumble an apology before leaning the other way into the doorframe, knocking her off balance. Jin caught her tightly as she bounced his way. She grasped the front of his loose traveler’s attire and she regained her footing. Jin sidestepped for balance and leaned back against the wall once they were just through the doorway. His hands held her biceps tightly. Yuna pressed her other hand against his chest, telling herself it was just for balance. But still, she gently felt the soft, sparse hair of his chest between her fingers.
“Yuna.” Jin whispered.
And Yuna looked up at him, eyes shiny from tears not fallen. Her eyes questioned him.
“You know you have me, don’t you? You don’t have to bear the burdens of your sadness alone.”
Her eyes never left his. Jin’s gaze dropped to her lips, and Yuna felt her belly flush as Jin dipped his head closer. Slowly, slowly, until he softly nuzzled his nose with hers. His right hand left her bicep and grasped the back of her neck- pulling her until the last space between them was no more.
Yuna felt as if she had been shot by a poison arrow; every vein in her body igniting at his kiss. Jin’s hand gripped at her ponytail, holding her roughly and tilting her head to kiss her as deep as possible. Yuna was melting. Jin was rough, yet gentle; just as she had imagined him to be in her dreams. Her fingers dug into the fabric of his tunic; into the hair on his chest. Jin kissed her as if he had been holding back since the day they met. She felt the passion in his lips, in his racing heart under her palm; in the vice tight grip his left arm had around her waist as it left her bicep and held her there against him. Their mouths and tongues were hot against each other, skin flushed from both their fervor and the alcohol. Jin spun her until it was Yuna’s back against the wall, and he didn’t stop pressing until his entire body was against hers. Yuna noticed that Jin was letting out the most exquisite moans into her mouth, his hand still pulling her hair. He pulled away and kissed the corner of her mouth, over her cheek, and then her ear. Yuna watched as his fingers traced the edge of her tunic across the front of her body.
“Let me make love to you.” Jin whispered raggedly, lips grazing her ear, body pressed against hers.
“No”
“Why?”
There was a pause, and Jin- seemingly pulled back to reality- pulled back to look into Yuna’s eyes with a troubled expression.
“Do I offend you? I’m so sorry-“
“-No, no.... no.” Yuna interrupted, lacing her fingers around the back of his neck. “It’s just... I am that far gone. If it weren’t for you and this wall holding me up, I’d be crumpled on the floor.”
They both let out a soft breath, smiling. Jin leaned his forehead down against hers.
“I don’t want to do anything I won’t remember in the morning.”
And Jin nodded, caressing her, feeling her.
“Will you remember?”
“Yes. I’ll never forget your kiss.” Jin kissed her forehead to punctuate his statement. He stared into her eyes, finding what he was searching for. He was in Yuna’s heart- now he knew. He would enjoy this happiness now, before the sun wakes.
“Then...” Jin started cautiously, “would you have me when we’re sober?” He tangled his fingers in her bangs, wanting to feel all of her, every texture.
A lingering kiss was all the response Jin received.
They both clung to each other, trying to at least make it to their goza mats before they fell to the ground. Yuna pulled her mat adjacent to Jin’s and he tugged on her sleeve to pull her closer. They settled in, Jin pressing his body against hers as he spooned her, lacing their fingers together and holding them tightly against her belly. For once, Yuna did not think about the Khan or her troubled past, which would plague her thoughts and keep her awake on most nights. Maybe Jin was right- maybe he was helping take some burden off her shoulders. Their minds were clear, filled only with thoughts of each other.
Just peace and quiet as they both fell asleep, Jin’s nose taking in the scent of her hair, the last few hours of serenity before dawn.
