Title: The More Things Change
Fandom: Good Omens (TV Series)
Characters: Crowley, Beelzebub, Hastur, Aziraphale
Pairings: Aziraphale/Crowley
Word Count: 800
Rating: G
A/N: After Episode 1x6
Summary: Beelzebub shows up and learns a few things.
"Where izzz he?"
Crowley glances to his left at the very angry Beelzebub who just rose up through the ground. His newly planted flowerbed has now been destroyed. Somehow he knows she came up through it on purpose, just to be an asshole. "Not here. He should be back shortly."
"Zzzatan's hairy balls." She stomps over to the blanket where Crowley is sitting and sits down next to him. "Wazzted a perfectly good entrance for nothing."
"You did manage to ruin my flowers, so that's something." He sets down the gardening book he'd been flipping through. "If you're here to drag him to Hell, he's going to fight you. I don't think he'll win, but between the two of you, you could destroy the cottage and everything around it. I'm not going to stand for it and neither will Aziraphale."
"No demon has ever turned their back on their title before. No demon has had the guts to juzzzt walk away." She digs her hands into the ground, twisting her fingers and yanking out grass. "Out of all of uzzz, why him? Hastur has alwayzzz been one of Lucifer's most loyal soldiers. It doesn't make zzzense!"
Shrugging his shoulders, Crowley gets to his feet. "I want to show you something. I'm not sure if it will answer your questions, but it might help." He picks up the book, dusts it off, and sticks it under his arm. "Come on, it isn't a trick."
---
"This is his room." He opens the door and turns on the light. "Go ahead, take a look."
None of the furniture inside matches and yet, it all seems to fit together. There's a fake zebra skin rug on the floor, a painting of rotting fruit, another painting in velvet with a couple dogs playing poker, a hot pink sculpture of a llama, a bizarre bedspread of at least five different shades of neon green, and a lamp with characters from Sesame Street.
Beelzebub stares at the room. It's so very different from anything one could end up with in Hell. There's no dirt, no rot, no grime. Everything is whole and unspoiled. "This is all hizzz?"
"We went to half a dozen shops in London. He could get whatever he wanted. This is what he decided on."
For a very brief moment, Beelzebub is jealous of what Hastur has found. He has a room of his own where he is safe and no one will take away what belongs to him. She turns in a circle in the middle of the room. It feels... cheerful, maybe even joyous. In the entire time she's known Hastur, he has never been happy. She shoves her hands into her pockets to keep from destroying the room. A small part of herself wonders if she could be happy like this too.
"How would you feel about other guests?" She isn't talking about herself, she's not ready yet to do something of this magnitude, but she knows a few demons who might be able to handle coming to live here. The thought of wandering out of Hell, away from where she has power, away from all the things she has ever known, chills her to the bone.
"Wouldn't be too hard to add on a few more rooms." He's fairly certain Aziraphale would enjoy the company. "Maybe we can skip the box with the others?"
This startles a laugh out of Beelzebub. "We'll zzzee."
---
"Is that Beelzebub in the yard with Crowley?" Aziraphale stumbles as Hastur shoves the bag of pastries into his arms. "Don't do anything rash until you know why she's here!"
"Beelzebub." Hastur glares at the Prince of Hell. "Did Belphegor give you my message?" He can feel himself shaking and isn't sure if it is from rage or fear. His hands clench into fists at his side.
"He did." Beelzebub studies him carefully. While Hastur is still very pale, he's no longer as white as a corpse. He's wearing sunglasses very similar to the ones Crowley has and there's a rather stylish hat on his head to cover his frog. He looks just a bit more human than when she saw him last. She notices he's put himself directly between her and the angel.
"Hazzztur, Dagon will be zzzending you some paperwork to make removing your title official." The shock on his face makes her smile. "There'zzz no need for you to return to Hell. Maybe we will zzzee one another in the future." With a snap of her fingers, Beelzebub vanishes.
"I don't understand. I thought she would fight me or force me back." Hastur looks from Aziraphale to Crowley. "They're just letting me leave? I'm free?"
"Welcome to our side, my dear." Aziraphale pats Hastur on the shoulder.
Crowley smiles. "Welcome home, Hastur."