Work Text:
My therapist says to write a journal of my thoughts. I scoffed at the idea at first. I mean I paid a lot for him and he's telling me to write a journal? And by a lot I mean a lot. My friend tells me it's a conspiracy. That she didn't have to pay as much for therapy before that day. That that day really fucked up our morals.
That day fucked up more than just morals. It fucked everything. And that's an understatement.
What happened in our universe that day was… incomprehensible. The last person's thoughts on the matter you probably want to hear is a guy studying law driving Uber on the side. I mean, that was what I was doing before, at least. And I'm not saying I don't matter. I have self esteem, I know my worth. And in a way that day proved it. They say death is the best equaliser.
But what happens if we come back? And not immediately, and not so long after that our return is irrelevant. We came back just as the world was getting used to our absence. And that's why I hate them. The fucking 'Avengers'.
I know most of the world is glad now. Their friends family, taken from them without warning, without reason, are back. Of course that's a cause for celebration. But what about those who moved on? 5 years is a long time. My younger brother is older than me now, physically. He's married. And not to the woman he loved, no. His fiance at the time turned to ash in front of his very fucking eyes. And he was depressed for 2 whole years, along with the rest of the world.
But he picked himself up. He moved on. He found a job. He met someone else. And they got married last month. And now we're back. His brother, his mother, his fiance, his third grade teacher. We returned to the world exactly how we disappeared. Without warning. Without consent. Without reason.
No, there were reasons. The Avengers. They're the reason we're back. They may not be the reason we were gone. But they were the reason we're back. And that's not all. There was a press meeting. And this is where it gets hilarious. Absolutely fucking hilarious. They have a time machine, you see. Ok, let me say it. At least they had the balls to release everything.
But then again, they did that when Hydra, an organisation from the fucking Nazi times, was found out to have infiltrated the top levels of Shield. Now, I'm not a lawyer yet, but do you see a pattern? Fuck up? Disclose everything and walk away Scott free. They have no fucking accountability it's actually hilarious.
I'm getting sidetracked. So apparently Steve. Fucking Steve Rogers, who I actually respected a little even though I didn't pick his side during their whole family drama, got the best end of this fucking deal. He got to go back to his old time to live his old life and came back to our time to die a happy old man. He apparently didn't explicitly tell anyone this was what he was going to do when he went back in time to return some stone things that apparently caused all of this. I mean, why not just destroy them? I think they explained why they couldn't but I got so sick of reading it.
I could only stomach that much bullshit for that night.
Anyway, he went back to return the stones but decided to stay. Because fuck the rest of us, he deserves a happy ending. At least it's good that he's old as shit now. He's irrelevant. He can't meddle in politics. He doesn't have a say in how the world will progress now. Same for Anthony Stark. God, he's a prick, too. Warmonger turned hero. I met him once. He came to our school to deliver some speech. His relative or something attended and he wanted to surprise her.
Haha, look at me in Tony Stark I'm such an eccentric billionaire with access to dangerous tech. My father is dead because of his weapons. How the fuck can people be suddenly ok with him just because he closed down his weapons manufacturing division. Him being 'good' now doesn't make up for the fact that my dad is dead because of his A.S.S Missile. That's the name of the missile that made a widow of my mother. A.S.S. Missile.
And now he's at my school cracking jokes.
Anyway he's dead now, too, and is heralded as some kind of a hero. Fuck him. Fuck Steve Rogers and fuck all the superpowered freaks. Like I was a fan at first. But they aren't gods. They're just flawed like the rest of us, but with a lot more avenues to fuck up. In a way I pity them.
I'm rambling now. I was taking about what they disclosed. Or at least, what I've read so far. Right. Tony fucking Stark of all people decided how we're coming back. He's not going to turn back time to the day we disappeared and bring us back then. I don't know if that's even possible. But nothing about what they did makes sense so I fully believe it's possible.
But they gave that fucker the lead. And he wanted what he had AND everyone back. That summarises Tony, if you ask me. He wants his cake and eat it, too. So yeah. He'd be only on board if they could bring us back after 5 years without us. 5 years of everyone moving on from us. 5 years of everyone accepting we're gone and there's nothing left to do and they just have to go on with their lives.
How the fuck did they agree to this? Leaving us for dead is a better outcome than what actually happened. This guy wanted to keep his daughter and wife while he brought everyone else back, and fucking dies in the process. What does this accomplish? Who did he help? What the fuck was it all for?
Anyway I think I'm done for now. I'm tired. I can't deal with anything right now. All my friends that haven't changed their numbers have graduated. My drinking buddy from way back killed himself the third day we all got unsnapped. Good night.