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Every soul in existence has another soul meant just for them—it's the rule of the world, and in one way or another, one is bound to meet the person they're meant to spend their entire lives with. But always, there are those that win, and there are those that lose. Sometimes a soul is meant to spend their lifetime having a soulmate who is simply meant for another.
It's not hard for Hyunjung to believe that she's one of the unlucky, the halves, being thirty-one and still alone while most had already met their respective soulmates. Hyunjung's friends met theirs when they were in highschool. Back then, Hyunjung could only look, wondering what it would feel like to meet her own. She had wondered back then if it was true—that everything becomes more beautiful and more pronounced. They say that everything makes much more sense.
Perhaps at this point acceptance should be something she already has within herself, but she would be lying if she said that she was okay with the mark on her wrist being incomplete. Frankly, she isn't. Everyone's afraid of different things, and as much as Hyunjung hates to admit, she's not immune to the universal fear that is loneliness.
Not knowing if she's ever going to meet her soulmate terrifies her, but Hyunjung is past the point of being impatient.
Everything else is great. Hyunjung's got a great job as the head of the finance department. It gets her good salary and good co-workers—although the last one might be debatable, especially because Dayoung never leaves her alone.
"One of them's really pretty," Dayoung whispers to her ear, immediately getting a light shove from Hyunjung who's busy with her lunch. Sometimes the younger woman has no concept of personal space even if Hyunjung has pointed it out a number of times.
"Have you never seen me?" Hyunjung shoots back. She doesn't look up from her food. Dayoung's always had big excitement on newly hired employees. It's something she doesn't get. Doing what needs to be done without interacting with others unless needed seems to be the way to go. "I'm pretty."
Forceful hands pull her croissant away from her. She stares at her junior, sees that her brows are scrunched together.
Dayoung fires again, "This isn't about you! This is about Kim Rona from Marketing."
"And you have a girlfriend."
Dayoung corrects her, "A soulmate."
"Same thing," Hyunjung retorts. "Kim Rona from Marketing probably also has hers. Leave her alone."
"It's called appreciation of beauty, not getting a crush, unnie."
There really isn't much difference to Hyunjung. Soulmates become your significant another anyway, and she despises it, really, the way the skin beneath her watch itches at the mere mention of the topic. It's something she tries to avoid talking about. The exact reason why she wears her watch on her right wrist despite being right-handed.
Hyunjung finds out her name is Bona, unlike what Dayoung had told her. She overhears it from her nosy coworkers in her department. Kim Bona from marketing—a transfer employee from another company, experienced and already in line for promotions. It's impressing.
Dayoung was wrong. Bona isn't only pretty. She's enchanting—incomprehensibly so. Something about her makes Hyunjung unable to look away. She's magnetizing. And when Bona finally looks back at Hyunjung to shoot her a smile, Hyunjung doesn't try to tear her gaze away.
She just stares, albeit unintentionally.
Until Bona is no longer looking at her and she was left looking like a fool, with stars in her eyes.
It's stupid. The mark on her wrist says so. Falling in love with someone the world didn't choose for her is just setting herself up for a heartbreak that hurts much worse than having no one at all.
"Hyunjung," the president says in lieu of a greeting. Jennie called Hyunjung to her office just a few minutes ago. It would've given Hyunjung a heart attack if she was still the rookie financial analyst she was years ago, but she and Jennie have become friends over time. Hyunjung would even say that they're the bestest of friends.
She relaxes on the couch, not really minding that Jennie hasn't asked her to take a seat yet. "You called?"
"You're rude, you know that?" Jennie lets the folder fall flat on the table near the couch. She crosses her arms, asking Hyunjung to scoot. She sits down and opens the folder, gesturing to the older woman to take a look.
It takes Hyunjung a few minutes to get the general idea of the project. "What's this?"
"So you lost your ability to read? Thought you were intelligent, being top of your class and all."
Hyunjung asks her to shut up, which turns into a mini fight with Jennie threatening to bash the iPad right onto her face.
"Why me?" Hyunjung asks, disbelieving. She's the head of the department of finance for a reason. "You know I don't work well outside finance. These are marketing people we're talking about."
Shaking her head, Jennie just hands over the folder to Hyunjung's unwilling hands. "This could be good," Jennie says. "The vice presidency is open. Mr. Choi's stepping down and the board's already preparing for the voting on the new candidate."
Hyunjung only stares.
Continuing, Jennie explains, "You're the number one candidate as of now, and I know you've been aiming for promotion—"
"It's too soon," Hyunjung cuts off. Or maybe it isn't, because at this point she doesn't know, and she should probably be focusing on the very thing that they're talking about but all that clouds her mind is who she's going to be working with.
"If you pull this off, which I know you would, the chances of you getting the position would be high," Jennie pushes. Hyunjung hears and sees the finality with the way Jennie has her jaw locked and voice tense.
She lets out a breath before she says, "This... is the marketing department." Hyunjung swallows as she closes her eyes. "Jennie. This is the marketing department."
"Am I missing something?" Jennie quirks her eyebrow, a look of both worry and confusion etched on her faced. Underneath it all, there's a silent plea.
Hyunjung debates on whether she should tell her or not. In the end, she does. She trusts Jennie more than anyone. She tells her about the new employee, Kim Bona, and how she's been dealing with unfamiliar sensations in her guts ever since she'd arrived.
"Then maybe working close to her would work... if not to remove whatever it is you feel for her, then maybe to understand what exactly is happening."
Hyunjung relents. On Monday, she's going to lead the new team.
She remembers the first time Dayoung had asked her about her soulmate. It was when she forgot to wear her watch to work and Dayoung had just been a recent addition to the team.
"What's your letter?" It's a bit of an unspoken rule—asking about unknown soulmates can be considered rude. But Dayoung had asked so innocently, pure unadultered curiosity written on her face, that she took no offence. No one's ever approached her so carelessly. Everyone was too intimidated to even look her way.
"It's a secret," she replies. It was brief and for a while Dayoung looked disappointed, but it only seemed to spur the younger woman on, what with the controlled gasp she had let out.
"Could it be... Ms. Kim?" Dayoung had asked, wide-eyed and tense.
It made her look up from her screen—something she doesn't do too much as she's always focused on her work. Chuckling, she says, "I commend you, really."
It's funny. Hyunjung isn't dumb. She knows people around the office think Jennie and her are soulmates. Both of them don't really care. It's none of anyone's business, and as far as they're both concerned, both of their wrists are still incomplete. They're not written in the stars.
"WAS I RIGHT?"
"No, but nice try," Hyunjung says. She chuckles as she looks away from the younger woman's dumbfounded face. Jennie's a half, Hyunjung knows this. Perhaps it would've been easier if it was Jennie. It would've been easier if they were soulmates. They're compatible and close, there is a mutual trust, and the only thing missing is their feelings for each other—that and the marks on their wrist.
It's Monday—the morning of her first day with the new team. She blames waking early on the anxiety of doing something new, but deep down she knows there's something else in her gut she cannot quite pinpoint—something she cannot put a name on. The whole travel to work has her in a sour mood.
She arrives at work, twenty minutes earlier than the call time. A few employees had arrived beforehand, all looking at her as if she is some terror boss who likes to fire people without due reason. She tries studying them one by one, the ID plates giving away their names. A girl named Seoyeon looks like she went to work out of her own volition. Like she doesn't want to be there. She tries hard not to crack up.
"Mind if I play first? Twenty minutes isn't over yet," a girl named Go Won asks, phone already in hand. Hyunjung answers with a nod, not really minding it. She's the only one who isn't looking at her with terror.
Two minutes before the meeting starts, Kim Bona is still nowhere to be found. She wonders if Bona had been assigned somewhere else. Then the door bursts open, revealing the very person in question. Bona's taking in quick breaths in an attempt to hide the fact that she just ran all the way to the room so as not to be late.
"I'm so so sorry." Bona bows three, four times—Hyunjung's lost count—looking at everyone in the room before finally locking eyes with Hyunjung.
Hyunjung's heart gets caught in her throat and her hands start to get clammy. She doesn't like how Bona makes her feel this way. They aren't meant for each other—the sooner she accepts that, the better, but the fact doesn't make her hate the situation any less.
Clearing her throat, she gestures at the only empty seat right in front of her desk—god, she doesn't know if she wants to scold Seoyeon for not taking the spot or if she's extremely grateful that she'll have the chance to be this close to Bona. When Bona finally takes her seat, accompanied with a careful smile, Hyunjung almost dies right there and then. She looks away, the thrumming in her veins going a hundred of miles a minute at the thought of spending months literally this close to her.
Late nights make Hyunjung think a lot. A dim yellow light illuminates the room, the bare skin of her wrist screaming at her to take a look. She used to think that if she tried hard enough—stared hard enough—the mark would go away, that nothing would be left to remind her that she's alone.
But it's there, and for the first time, she wants it gone for a completely different reason. She knows it's inevitable to like Kim Bona.
However, soulmates exist. The regret of not having the letter 'B' is heavy in her chest.
Their first interaction isn't anything Hyunjung expected it to be.
It comes in the form of Bona giving her a brown paper bag. It smells faintly of cinnamon. Bread, she thinks. How can the world be so cruel and sweet for Bona to give her something she likes.
"Hyunjung-ssi," Bona starts, "This... this isn't a bribe. I—I just wanted to apologize for being late yesterday." She explains, still stood over Hyunjung's desk. Hyunjung has her eye trained on the paper bag, actively avoiding meeting Bona's gaze.
"You weren't late, technically." It's an attempt at a joke. But Hyunjung realizes too late that it didn't come across as one. Her tone was way too serious, way too flat. It's too late to undo it and to say something without making it awkward, so instead, she reaches for the corner of the bag, right where Bona's hold isn't.
Bona only takes a seat when Hyunjung takes it. Hyunjung's burning under Bona's gaze and one quick look was enough to thoroughly graze her, to make the hair in the back of her neck stand.
"Hyunjung-ssi, do you wanna get lunch with me?" Hyunjung hears Bona asks, and when she meets her gaze, regret washes over her. Bona's biting her lip, hands clutching her pouch tightly. She sees hopefulness in her eyes and she hates that she has to refuse her of such a simple thing.
"You can go ahead. There are things I need to attend to." Not bad, Hyunjung thinks. It's not flat out rejection, not a stupid excuse, either. She convinces herself it sounded professional.
Bona blinks, and Hyunjung feels her stomach drop at the sight of Bona trying her best to hide her disappointment.
"Oh. Okay. I hope you finish them soon." Bona smiles, the kind that makes Hyunjung feel sick. It's not real. It's forced.
It's better this way, though, isn't it? Getting close to Bona won't end well for either of them.
Except that Bona tries and tries for weeks. The same time Hyunjung rejects and finds more excuses.
It's been two months of working with the marketing department, which means the project's coming to an end. She won't have to work with Bona anymore, she gets reminded, not that it matters still. Bona's stopped trying to approach her. Hyunjung had expected it to make her feel better, like pulling a fishbone out of her throat, but it was only replaced by more.
That night, Hyunjung finds herself stuck in the office beyond office hours due to the heavy workload. She's convinced she and Jennie were the only ones left, so she's managed to convince her into moving to her workstation for the night.
"I'm like, ten seconds away from falling asleep," Jennie drags her words as she says them. "Give me fifteen minutes. Need to nap."
With Jennie slumped on the desk, Hyunjung caresses her hair to help her fall asleep. She hums a song, knowing that it helps soothe her when she's stressed. However, her hands come to a still when she hears the door to their workstation open, revealing Bona with an undecipherable look in her face. She immediately withdraws her hand, waking Jennie in the process. She hears Jennie whine, but she pays it no mind.
"Bona-ssi," Hyunjung starts, as formal as ever, "I thought you had gone home already."
Bona simply shakes her head. "Just... needed to get some food."
There's something in her eyes, Hyunjung notes, and she sees it way too many times when she looks into the mirror—it's of hurt. But for what? She cannot help but worry, even though deep down she knows she doesn't have the right. Bona isn't her friend.
She nods. Tries to sound indifferent. "Ah, I see."
"Should I go?" Bona asks, looking down at the floor. She's soothing her wrist, Hyunjung notices, and for the first time she sees that her marks are incomplete too.
Before she gets to reply, Jennie speaks up, her tone light and teasing, "No. Stay and finish what you need to do. I'm heading home, anyway."
After Jennie leaves, the atmosphere is the most tense they've both been in. They work silently. Not once does Bona try to look at Hyunjung, a stark contrast to what she'd always done before.
They ride the elevator together, and that's when Hyunjung decides to talk. "I'll drive you home, Bona-ssi."
Bona turns to look at her. She bites down her jaw before answering. "There's no need, though I appreciate the offer."
"Bona-ssi, please. Let me drive you home. It's late and it would be better if—"
Letting out a breath, Bona cuts Hyunjung off. "Why are you suddenly doing this? I thought you didn't want anything to do with me, and now you're offering to drive me home like you hadn't essentially ignored my existence for months."
"I'll be better," is all Hyunjung says. She stares at her intently, trying to send a message across that her own words couldn't. "Just let me drive you home."
They're parked in front of Bona's place, the streetlights shining through the windshield, illuminating Bona's face. Hyunjung tries her hardest not to fall harder. She tries hard not to set herself up. Bona is looking straight ahead, and in a way, Hyunjung is thankful that she has time to admire her beauty. Who knows when this would happen again.
"I'm sorry," Bona says. Her voice is thin against the deafening silence in the car. "For snapping at you and for not keeping things professional. I'm—I guess I'm just going through something, and I know that's not an excuse, so thank you for being patient. With me."
Hyunjung keeps her grip at the steering wheel. Nodding, she realizes that Bona probably couldn't see it, so she speaks, "It's okay. I apologize as well, Bona-ssi."
A knock on Bona's side of the window startles the both of them. Bona asks Hyunjung to roll down the window, so she does as asked.
"Jiyeon-unnie! I was starting to get worried thinking you weren't coming home," a woman outside says in a loud voice, but all Hyunjung could think about was the name the woman called Bona with.
Jiyeon.
Bona's name is Jiyeon? Her heart picks up its pace, her breaths become harder to catch. She doesn't realize her grip on the steering wheel has turned tight, her knuckles already turning a bit white, until Bona tries to call her name again.
"Hyunjung-ssi, is everything alright?" Bona asks with a hint of concern in her voice.
Not trusting her voice not to betray her, Hyunjung just nods.
"Okay," Bona says. There's a pause. For a moment, Hyunjung expects something more, but then Bona speaks again, "Thank you for driving me home. Please drive safe."
Just like that, Hyunjung loses all understanding of her feelings. Not that she ever understood them.
Hyunjung goes to work earlier than usual that day. Simply because she's preparing herself for something she's not certain she should do. The second she sees Bona settle down in her workplace across her, however, she decides to go through it. Disappointment is something she'll handle when it comes, like crossing the bridge when she gets there.
She tells her to work overtime with her, to stay after office-hours. Bona gets confused at first, not used to the sudden attention she's getting from Hyunjung, and definitely confused because she doesn't know what's going on.
Then the clock strikes five. Slowly, everyone heads home, even Jennie who leaves late usually. When they're the only ones left, Hyunjung calls Bona's attention. She stands up with Bona doing the same.
"Let's go," Hyunjung says, brief and clear. No hint of any emotion in her voice, despite the rapid beating of her heart in her chest.
She's not facing Bona—yet.
Confused, Bona asks, "To where?"
"Storage room." Hyunjung turns to look at her. She sees Bona's face getting red, so she hurriedly explains, "Because I need to confirm something. Without cameras involved."
That didn't really help, but Bona complies anyway.
Hyunjung wastes no time and closes the door shut immediately once Bona's inside. Bona's trapped in between the door and Hyunjung, and both of them are catching their breaths, flustered at the proximity Hyunjung has intentionally put them in.
"Jiyeon," Hyunjung starts. Bona looks at her, perplexed. "Jiyeon. Is that your name?"
"Where did you get that?" Bona replies, and Hyunjung tries so hard to suppress the urge to lean her forehead against hers.
"Last night. In the car. When your friend called you by it," She explains in a hurry. She shakes her head and talks again, "But it's not the point. Answer me, Bona-ssi. Is your name Jiyeon?"
"It was my name, until I had it legally changed. I thought Bona suits me better and—why are you asking me this?"
"Can I try something?" Hyunjung's getting a bit impatient. They're too close that their breaths are hitting each other's face.
Bona swallows, visibly confused. "What?"
"Jiyeon. Can I try something? I—I need to know." Hyunjung repeats, firmer this time. Jiyeon nods. Hyunjung takes off her watch, leaving her wrist exposed.
Hyunjung takes a deep breath the same time Jiyeon does. Hesitantly, she asks for her hand. Their fingers touch first, and then their palms cover each other's. Getting the courage, Hyunjung intertwines their fingers together. They both gasp at the sensation—it tickles, and slowly, the marks in their wrist turn complete. Everything feels warmer, better.
Perhaps this is what people meant when they talk about their soulmates.
Neither of them knows who initiated the hug, Jiyeon's head tucked safely in Hyunjung's neck.
"I'm not a half," Jiyeon whispers. Hyunjung looks down to meet her eyes and sees the tears staining her cheeks. She wipes them away, with her hand still intertwined with Jiyeon. She deosn't even notice she's crying too. Jiyeon repeats, "I'm not a half."
"What do you mean? Did you think you were one?" Hyunjung asks, feeling Jiyeon's thumb caressing her cheeks. Her voice cracks at the end.
"I've always had a feeling it was you, ever since I transferred here. But then I thought you already had a soulmate and that I was... a half."
Hyunjung shakes her head.
"It's you," Hyunjung confirms. "I was just scared that it wouldn't be you, but it's you. God, I'm so happy."
She kisses Jiyeon's nose, whispering sweet nothings while caressing her hair. Jiyeon kisses her, and it's brief and although it doesn't even last five seconds, Hyunjung thinks that she'd be content with it for life. There's nothing more she could ask for.
"I'm happy it's you, Jiyeon. Or Bona."
Jiyeon lets out a watery laugh. Hyunjung just hugs her, keeping her in her arms.
A month after they got together, Jiyeon gives her a watch.
Hyunjung wears it on her left wrist.
Jennie sees it. With a smile, she teases,
"Nice watch."