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Looking back on her life, Shepard finds that maybe she hasn’t always made the right choice. Not the noble choice even, but she can clearly see how all of them led her here.
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Her story, the story of the first human spectre, the hero of the citadel, starts with a snap decision. Though she’s not really sure if she can actually call it a decision, it all happened so fast.
Shepard pushed Kaidan out of the way of the beacon, intending to protect him and it burdened her with all of this. Time and time again people tell her she’s the only one who could do this and if Shepard is honest with herself she doesn’t really believe them. But she is in this position now, it’s all resting on her and there is no going back.
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Second decision, letting Garrus, Wrex and Tali onto her ship. This was clearly a choice and definitely the right one. Shepard couldn’t imagine making it this far without them. Even more than that, Wrex and Tali are her friends and she loves Garrus with all her heart.
She wonders sometimes, if she destroyed their lives by taking them with her. The guilt only really hits her when she sees the scar on Garrus’ face. No matter how much he jokes about it, she still feels bad about it.
Shepard has developed a habit of touching the scar when she kisses him, placing her hand on the side of his face.
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Virmire haunts her. There wasn’t a right choice, no morally sound decision. Shepard wonders if saving Kaidan again was even rational. Somehow, she doubts it.
As the pressure of the war mounts she keeps lying awake wondering what would have happened if she chose to save Ashley. If she managed to save both of them even. If it would have changed anything.
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She seriously considered it, not curing the genophage. Dooming Wrex, Grunt and their entire species. But there is a right choice here, at least Shepard thinks there is. So she helps Mordin cure it and looses him in the process. Garrus finds her that evening, sitting on her bed sobbing into her hands and he just wraps his arms around her.
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All these moments are swirling through her head, along with hundreds, thousands more. Every little decision she made. Everything she decided to say. It all led her here. To her last choice. Shepard is standing in front of the Crucible.
Slowly, dragging her injured leg behind her, her whole body protesting in pain, Shepard drags herself toward Control. She hopes it’s the right choice. But truth is, she has only ever been sure about one choice she made.
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Before they landed in London Garrus pulled her to the side. Shepard immediately placed her hand on the scarred side oh his face and kissed him. Garrus wrapped his arms around her, resting his forehead again hers. “I love you. No matter what happens to us down there. I love you.”
“I love you too.”, Shepard pulled back, studying his face. “Out of all the choices I’ve made...I’m sure about you. Everything else I doubt or regret or even if I don’t it caused me pain but you...I could never regret you.”
“That’s...nice to hear.”, Garrus tries to smile but it ends up being more of a weak twitch of his mandible. “No regrets.”
“No fucking regrets.”, she kissed him then, one last time. As the crucible tears her apart the memory lingers. Garrus, her one perfect choice.